WEBVTT - Don’t Forget About Me... 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:17.120 I got buckets. It's we knows parenting. I'm Peter McNerney 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:22.479 and I'm that Newell. We came back. We've been back. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:27.000 Can you believe it? We didn't really leave. I mean 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:32.400 we did leave. We went to Thanksgiving, to the Thanksgiving. 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.880 We went to the famous, the world famous Thanksgiving. This 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:42.080 version was in outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where your parents live. 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.400 Had a delightful time. Can I say, unrelated to the trip, 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:50.000 that a lot of people this year are getting more 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:56.040 on board with actually listening to native people about cultural issues. 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.760 And people are starting to talk about how Thanksgiving is 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:05.280 credibly problematic and like as as a holiday, and I think, 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.039 you know, it's one of those things. It feels like 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:12.800 we just need to rebrand it a little bit and 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.520 keep doing the big family meal and just yes, the 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.920 messaging of it is is right, arm like it's But 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:22.959 the funny thing is all of our all of our 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:27.000 holidays are actually just appropriated pagan holidays that we that 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:31.880 Christianity like tried to rebrand into different various lives and things. Well, 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:35.920 I think that's that's not not just Christianity is thin 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.600 right right right, But um our country has done this 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:43.280 with Thanksgiving where what used to be sort of like 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.280 giving thanks holiday in the fall where you would like 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.360 reap the last harvest and then celebrate all the food 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:54.440 and like you know, prepare for the winter and like 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.559 enjoy a meal with your loved ones. It then became 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.960 this holiday where we're like and that's when Native Americans 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.840 forgave us for everything, and they actually were like, we 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:06.880 want you here on our land and we want you 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.360 to take all of relay. Well, yeah, that is the 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:13.120 that's the origin of Thanksgiving. I mean, obviously the revisionist 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:18.519 history of the perfect we invited the the Native Americans 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:22.120 to this supper, which I just read a great article, 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:27.400 but like things that are you believe about Thanksgivings that 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:31.280 aren't true, And the only one I remember is we didn't. 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:36.560 We the white people, the Pilgrims, did not invite the 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:41.120 Native Americans when you were across the brook having their 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:45.160 own festival. And they emerge when you actually look at 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:47.640 American history and a lot of these things, or just 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:51.519 world history, it's like we're talking about events that were 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:55.960 like genocide on some level, like you know, like rape 0:02:55.960 --> 0:03:00.320 and murder of people, removing children from their parents. It's 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:04.000 like these are like but like if you if you 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:08.280 read the history in our history books, it's like, um, 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.919 so we just kept expanding west into this beautiful land 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.560 that was just sitting there waiting for it. Or the 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:18.240 victors write the history books. I mean, the pilgrims had 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:22.120 a had a you know, where they were living. They 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:26.919 had fields that were prepared and tilled because all they 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:30.240 were prepared by Native Americans who were all dead because 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:35.880 of the small box. Yeah, anyway, fun start. Well, I 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.200 think what is relevant about that to the podcast, not 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:43.200 aside from the education point, is that, Um, one thing 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:45.520 I think people have been more sensitive to this year, 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:51.720 among other things culturally, is that kids are being given 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:58.400 these sort of like reenacting things like plays or activities 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:01.800 or head dress is like they're giving these activities in 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.560 schools that are just like I know, in a lot 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.760 of places, I feel like this is just like some 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:11.360 old white teacher who's been doing this thing for years 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.000 and like they didn't get the memo, like you know 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:16.120 what I mean, Like they're still making Native American head 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:20.400 dresses out of Yeah. In a lot of cases, it's 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:24.599 like a very well meaning white person who really needs 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:30.400 to like read an article, Um, but it's just anyway. 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:33.560 Um well, I speaking of that, I went to pick 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:38.320 up britain Is after school. Um program had a Thanksgiving 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:41.240 party and I forgot that it was happening. So I 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.240 showed up and he was just getting food and so 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:45.720 I was like, oh, you know what, I'm gonna go 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.120 outside that you know, makes some phone calls so that 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:50.839 he can enjoy his food. And he didn't haven't seen 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:54.159 me yet. And as I walked out, I really I 0:04:54.200 --> 0:05:00.280 thought like, was he wearing a construction paper uh Native 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.640 American head dress? Oh? Yeah? And I was like, oh, 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:07.160 that's not cool anymore, right, But then I went back 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:11.360 an hour later and saw that it was turkey turkey 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:13.599 hat but it had turkey feathers on a hat in 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.600 a way that was like very reminiscent of you can 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.360 tell whoever learned that learned it one way and then 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:20.920 they go, let's make it a turkey and it was 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:25.560 an appropriate shift. Yeah, but someone someone got very attached 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:29.400 to the idea of putting like headbands on kids around 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:33.280 fall like, yeah, it's it's moved in the right direction. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:37.240 But yeah, I mean, I mean Thanksgiving the core of 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:39.279 it is the time to be thankful, and I think 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.320 I'm behind that time to get together with family, Like 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:47.320 we celebrate Christmas personally. I don't do it for Jesus anymore. 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:50.359 I just it's about family. I just do it for 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.839 the likes. I just do it for the tradition and 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:57.440 the rules. Um, I'm so excited for Christmas this year. 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:04.080 Brand he's he's he's ready for the big Christmas. Can 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:10.120 we talk about the Advent calendar? Yeah? Sure, I mean 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:14.599 the thing is I have another Advent thing coming? Or 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:17.360 is that what it's called. No, it's not called it's 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:21.080 just what are you talking about? What are you talking about? What? 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.880 I was talking about the Advent calendar? But you said 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:27.560 that you have another Advent thing coming, another Advent calendar 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:32.919 sort of. It's like, Um, this is so mysterious. What 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:36.200 are you talking about. It's like this wooden Advent calendar 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.039 where you like put it's like a Christmas tree with 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:43.800 all these little circle holes. And then yeah, I was 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:46.480 trying to find something like when I was a kid, 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.040 I had this thing that I loved that I don't 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.960 think anyone really makes something like it right now. Maybe 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.440 they do, But it was like it hung on the wall. 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.160 It was made of cloth, and there was all these 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.440 little pockets for each day of the month with a 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.599 number on it, and then that you would move this 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.680 little mouse from pocket to pocket. I've seen that too. 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:08.640 I loved that. I love all of these. These are 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:11.520 the kind of holiday activities that are great. Like I 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:15.800 think if you remember that so much of the joy 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.320 of Christmas is like the lead up to Christmas, then 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:21.800 I feel like you can kind of like tone down 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:27.200 the consumerism and stress of like gift by I love 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.560 the build up is everything. Yeah, that's why I love 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:32.880 Christmas Morning and we have a lot of traditions and 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:39.280 things because it's all about just extending that moment of excitement. Um. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.360 But bring up we got written at You got brittan 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:45.040 advant calendar, a simple one, and you think that would 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.520 be really into it because he loves the calendar and 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:51.040 crossing off the days of the month. He really didn't 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.080 get it, and well he does love it, but he 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:56.760 immediately opened all of the doors and then lied about it. 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.640 It was too tempting. You know. It's funny because they 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.320 have ones like that that have candy in them. But 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.640 I used to get some of those. I know. I 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:08.240 could never trust him with something like that. Well, that's 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:12.520 the type of thing though that he couldn't possibly lie about. 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:21.120 He'd he'd be surprised. So let's talk about We took 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:25.920 them to Thanksgiving. It was nice and easy. Um the 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.320 drive there. The drive back was not. We had a 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.320 lot of traffic. Actually, I thought the drive back was 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.719 more peaceful in a weird way, even though it was eternal. 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:39.839 Here's something I'm really proud of. It was eternal. It 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:46.320 was six and a half hours instead of three. Um, 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:48.640 so Brent head a major league melt down in the 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.480 parking lot when you guys went into that restaurant. And 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:59.920 I've been really trying to just ride the wave instead 0:08:59.920 --> 0:09:04.240 of trying to block the wave, you know, because I've 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:07.480 you know, I pride myself on putting my foot down, 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:09.480 and when I put my foot down, I don't back off. 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.200 But I've been hitting the gas, hitting the brake too hard, 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:17.880 too quick, m and so I've just been trying to 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:22.040 find that balance of if I say a thing, I 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:29.640 mean it, but I'm toning down this sternness. And in 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:32.000 that parking lot when he was having a major league 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:37.560 freak out, Um, oh my god. So this was in 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:41.480 reaction to target okay, we gotta go back. On the 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.240 way there, we had to go to Target to buy 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.720 him a jacket because he lost his jacket. So it's 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:51.400 been a great trip. We go into the Target and 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:54.640 we get there and we get to find the jacket 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.720 section and there's one coat that's for four to five 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.600 years old, and so I go, oh, look at this, 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.040 and I put it on him and it fits perfectly, 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.360 and then I go great. And then I look in 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:10.200 the next size up, which is six seven, and I go, 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.079 let's try this on just in case, because it was 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.679 a nice jacket and it might last. So he puts 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.520 one arm in the new jacket and his fingers don't 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.480 go to the end, so in my mind like, oh, 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.840 this is probably too big. And then he takes it 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:23.520 off and he goes, this is the one. I want 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:27.400 this one, And I go, well, try it on so 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.440 that I can see how big it is, because I'm 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.640 not gonna buy this. It might be too big. And 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:36.520 he then he refused, uh, and I was like, oh, okay, 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.079 well just try it on. And then suddenly he got 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.520 really progressive quickly, and he was really embarrassed, and I 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:46.000 didn't notice it, so suddenly I was pushing against somebody 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.880 that was freaking out, and I didn't notice yet, and 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.920 so then I was like, okay, all right, let's get 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:55.040 the other one. And then I tried. I tried to 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:58.640 get the other one, and he started freaking out that 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.800 we weren't buying the big one. So then I said, okay, 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.120 we can get the big one if you try it on. 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.720 Then he wouldn't try it on and the biggest public 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:10.840 melton I've ever been a part of. And so I 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:12.840 tried to just back away, and I go, okay, I 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.920 riled him up. I didn't realize that, and I stayed calm, 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:17.560 and I just sat there and I waited and I 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.520 let him be alone. I let him calm down, I 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.319 changed the subject. We just talked and all that, and 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:24.880 then finally we had to go. So I was like, 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:26.679 all right, and then I called and I was like, 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.160 I started like threatening him. We got donuts. If you 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.120 don't do this, you're gonna get a donut. And I 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.440 called you and I was like, are you gonna eat 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.160 Britain's doughnut? And this is when I blew it, And 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:41.720 then finally wasn't already. I finally finally just said we 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.280 have to go, and so I grabbed the one that 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.679 I knew that fit. I said, let's go, and I 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:50.120 started walking away, and he exploded with rage and started 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.880 running in front of me, and he threw himself down 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.360 in front of me on the ground, and I just 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.839 like stepped over him, and everyone was looking. And then 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.439 we got into the cell off checkoutline and he started 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:04.560 hitting me, and it was so crowded and I was 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.800 so embarrassed, and I was trying to make jokes, so 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:09.800 the people around me and I as I was checking out, 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.840 he was grabbing the coat and pulling it away and 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:16.440 screaming goes, I don't want it, I don't want it, 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:18.720 and I just put my head down and walked out 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.679 of the store. And as soon as he got into 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.240 the parking lot, I lost it. And we put him 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:26.640 in the car, and he wouldn't put a seatbelt on, 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:28.319 so I slammed the door and then I get in 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.160 the car and I drive to go pick you guys 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.160 up at Dunk of Donuts and he starts kicking the 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.920 back of my seat as hard as he can, and 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:41.320 he dumps out an entire box of animal crackers and 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.520 I'm going five miles in the parking lot and I 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.079 hit the brakes really hard and he sort of stumbles 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:50.800 and I scream, Oh my God, and I was so 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.840 enraged and I lost my mind. Okay, can I talk. 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:58.800 This is the longest story in the world. UM. I 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.880 feel like we have this conversation every single time we 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:07.760 have a car trip where I beg you not to 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:11.360 lay down the discipline at the beginning of a three 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:18.200 hour car The thing is, I didn't no becauld use you. 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:21.080 From the very beginning. You were like, I need you 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:24.320 to put this code on, Like, here's how this would 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:28.240 have played out for me. How it started. He said, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.679 I need you to try it on anyway, and then 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:35.959 you continue to lay down ultimatum after ultimatum, a drawing 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:38.400 lines in the sand for him to get upset about. 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.040 Can I say how I would have done this interaction? 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:44.760 I'm upset at how much you keep trying to describe 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.440 a thing that you weren't there for it. But go ahead, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.840 you just described it in great detail for five minutes straight. 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:51.680 I think I have a pretty good gist of what 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.719 went down. Well, the point of that setup was to 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.920 talk about how I've reacted him since then, which I 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:03.520 appreciate that it has been at the start of every 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:08.240 single trip we take. Um, here's how this would have 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:13.640 played up for me. I'm a mom, I'm planning a trip, 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.560 I'm packing, I'm trying to get things to car, snacks, 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.640 all these things, trying to keep everyone in my family 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:22.280 happy and calm. Because I have three miserable hours stuck 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:25.120 with them in a car. I realize we need a coat. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:30.400 I go into target. My son starts being difficult. I say, 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:35.200 I distract. I say, hey, do you think if we're good, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:36.960 we could maybe get a pack of gum on the 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.800 way out of here? You are so condescending. And then 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:45.760 I leave to target. Oh, oh yeah, you just bail 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:48.400 on the jacket. You know what should I would buy 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:55.200 the jacket, but I would just distract him from his stubbornness. Ah, well, 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:57.800 you might have done it. You might have nailed it. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:02.520 We'll never know. As a result, he had a freak 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.920 out on the way back. And boy, I handled it great. 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:09.680 You know what tonight? I am was incredibly overwhelmed today 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.720 with a bunch of things, and I shut down at 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:17.880 a certain point, and you very dramatically shut down. Yes, 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.680 it was really bad, and I literally just had to 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:25.280 go lay down. Can I say what happened? I came home, 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.320 I came early from work because it's like stormy outside, 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:32.280 and I walk in the front door. The kids are 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:34.720 directly in front of the door, blankets spread out. There's 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.200 like toys ulster and all over the place, and like 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.640 a lot of like weird messes, like where they got 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.040 into things that are not for kids. And they're like 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.880 just I'm like what were they doing? Why is this 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:49.560 thing here? And like where is my husband? And then 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.600 I go and you're laying down in the dark in 0:15:52.640 --> 0:16:00.200 the bedroom, clearly overwhelmed by something. Uh, And so I 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.360 closed you in there and and you cleaned up the night. 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.240 You don't know how much I appreciate it, because it 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:10.920 was me trying to start unloading the dishwasher after making 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:16.200 dinner that caused me to snap, and I said, I'm 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.600 way down. But I'll tell you what. I was so 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:24.040 defeated by the day that I had no energy to 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.480 be confrontational with my kids, and I just let them 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:31.040 sort of pass through me. See that's me a lot 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:33.600 of the time. I'm just like I'm so tired, and 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:38.840 like I need this Sunday to involve rest and just 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.200 eat lunch meat, whatever you want. The thing that was 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:46.160 great is that I had no I had no frustrations 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:49.280 with them, I had no anger towards them. I had 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:53.480 just was going through a personal crisis and anything they 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:57.440 were doing, I just remained completely calm. And there was 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:02.040 almost zero fighting all night in bedtime. You know, you 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:04.760 saw them freaking out of bedtime. I had to lay 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.840 down the law and do ultimatums, but I did it 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:11.840 with zero attitude and zero aggression and it was easy. 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.800 And I didn't and I was like, I need to 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.399 remember what this feels like, minus the defeated, exhausted apart 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:23.840 and just be be liquid not a wall. Does that 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:38.800 make sense? Yeah, I'm drinking vodka cranchon. What am I? Nineteen? 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:46.000 That was? That was a very specific college thing I 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:48.880 got drunk on once that it's real gross to me. Now, 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:53.119 what's yours? You made? You made a drink that you 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:58.280 now think it's gross. Um, it's something I drank excessively 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.959 one night before I knew what that meant. And so 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:05.959 now that vodka is ruined for me. The thing that 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.560 I think is a gross that I would drink when 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.040 I was like underage, like or people around me. I 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:17.040 would drink is like, um, oh my god, what's it 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.080 called in the Big Lebowski with the kohlua and milk? 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:25.600 Right Russian? White Russian? Um, we would drink those for 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:28.480 some reason. It's like you and I went through a 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.280 white white Russian kick in two thousand. It's like it 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:34.800 just makes you feel gross after a while, Like you're like, 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.199 why am I drinking all this like sugar and milk? 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.840 Like you know, it's not you're it's like a milkshake, 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:45.560 Like why it's so delicious? I mean I do stuff 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.119 like that. I think it's fine if you're at like 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:49.520 a holiday party or something and you have like one drink, 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:53.080 but like you just it's not like something you should 0:18:56.119 --> 0:19:00.560 This is my tenth white Russian, so gross, but one 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:04.679 is yummy? Yeah? Should we get back into white Russian? 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:09.440 What if that's where this goes? Next week? You guys, 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:12.560 when you hear this clinkety clanketty, it's gonna be a 0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:29.240 white Russian And now it's time for do you know 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:34.080 what they're saying? This is where we talked about shit. 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:37.840 I was gonna say, ships our kids say, so we're 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:40.119 talking about our kids saying we used to have on 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:46.160 that was like, we knows why they're saying the darndest thing. 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:51.640 Do you remember um because intro it's a different title. Yeah, 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:57.320 we can't remember anything. Um. So tonight I was pulling 0:19:57.400 --> 0:19:59.840 out Brent's school photos because I was going to cut 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:04.280 some up for to give out to people, and um, 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.439 the class photo was out and Brian saw it and 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:10.600 he was like, I mean, first of all, he got 0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:12.879 mad at me because he was like, he was like, 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:14.399 I was talking about how we're going to give some 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:17.320 of the photos to his grandparents, and he was like, 0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:20.160 we can't give them this one because it's like all 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:23.159 of his friends. And he's like and I'm like, no, 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:24.640 it's okay, We're not going to give him that one. 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:28.199 And then he was like holding the photo over by 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:32.119 himself and looking at the kids, and he was looking 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:35.840 at this girl, Reagan, and he was like whispering to 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:44.520 himself and he goes, don't forget about me, Reagan. I 0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:48.679 don't know, I don't know if he saw that on 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:52.240 like an X Men cartoon or something like don't forget 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:55.080 about it. Just feels like he saw someone like wistfully 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.600 staring at like a photo, Like, where did he come 0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.760 up with that? Because he left the room. He was like, 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:01.520 I was like, what are you saying? And he's like, 0:21:01.680 --> 0:21:03.959 what nothing? And then he left the room and as 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:05.600 he was walking away, he did it again. He was like, 0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:08.280 don't forget about me, right, listen, I don't want to 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:14.280 project anything onto Mike into my children. Um, but he 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:20.840 had inklings if he talks about how cool she is, Yeah, 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.560 I mean he he likes a lot of kids in 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:26.080 his class. Yeah. So it's it's hard to tell because 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:28.680 he was talking about having girlfriends. But then it became 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:30.919 clear that he just thought girls, you're friends. What are 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:36.919 called girlfriends? Um? So he doesn't idiot. He does love 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:44.600 like romantic love stuff though. Oh so we watched Home Alone. Yeah, 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:48.080 I'm doing Thanksgiving break And it's the first time I 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:50.840 think he would transition this into we knows what they're watching? 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:54.520 We already did, okay, And I think it's the first 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:57.520 time you sat through an entire live action movie. Maybe 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:01.359 that might not be true. It feels like the first 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:05.760 time our kids have watched like a classic live action 0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:09.320 kids movie. Like, I'm sure they've seen other things, but 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:12.239 it's a pretty rare that they sit still and like 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:15.840 like watching the whole movie. They watched the whole thing. 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:20.040 They loved it. I love he keeps going. Remember when 0:22:20.119 --> 0:22:24.600 Kevin put the soap on his face and said, trying 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:28.240 to keep explaining what after shave is that it's pointless. 0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:32.800 But they love it. They love the violence. This sort 0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:36.720 of actually the Maven sometimes she the um robbers will 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:39.680 come on, she goes, I don't like the bad guys. 0:22:40.160 --> 0:22:42.280 She got scared. She got a little scared during parts 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:45.080 of it, and she left the room during Home aloan too, 0:22:45.480 --> 0:22:50.760 but Come Alone one, which is an excellent movie. There's 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:53.520 some rough language in there for five year old. They 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:57.120 were very violent. They used the word ass more than once. 0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:01.200 In Homeland who they They literally show a clip from 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:03.679 a black and white film where a woman is shot 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:07.120 to death on screen, like it's they do that in one, 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:10.960 but it's like I know both times it's very violent. 0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:15.080 Keep the change of fealthy animal. I love one. There's 0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.920 all the so I wish they could replace those scenes 0:23:19.040 --> 0:23:22.359 like they should do an edit. It's just like no, no, 0:23:22.840 --> 0:23:26.960 don't touch the thing. So that house so violent. There's 0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:30.400 also one scene where I was tempted to cover Maven's eyes, 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:33.359 which is like, because I hate watching people get hurt. 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:36.200 You arrived when he steps on the nail, when he 0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:39.320 says something nails so gross. Me didn't disturb me until 0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:43.480 I was older. Yeah, probably, but me, I think maybe, 0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:46.680 and I are sensitive to watching people get hurt. Well, 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:50.840 she seemed like overall she loved it. People falling down here. 0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:53.640 I think when the falls are really comical and it's 0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:57.600 like slipping like that's funny, Like that's funny for most people. 0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:01.320 It's when it looks like like when you're seeing an 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:05.160 iron get dropped on someone's face and like they're burned skin. 0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:10.399 That's when I'm like that favorite part. She described it 0:24:10.400 --> 0:24:12.199 in a weird way if she didn't know what it was, 0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:13.960 but she thought it was really well there. Yeah, there's 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:16.480 parts of it where they don't understand what's happening, But 0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:21.040 as you get older, it's disturbing. What is it? What 0:24:21.119 --> 0:24:24.240 does buzz say? I wouldn't I wouldn't let you sleep 0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:27.240 in my room if you were growing on my ass. 0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:32.879 The tension between Kevin and his family is so well done. 0:24:33.640 --> 0:24:40.280 When she takes when Katherine Harritt takes upstairs, he goes 0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:44.680 up to the attic, you really feel her like making 0:24:45.840 --> 0:24:49.920