1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: Nicky Grass, Yes, throw it out, Andrew, what's up? Catcoon? 2 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god? Hello? Wow, that bass is strong. Welcome 3 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: to the Welcome to the first show of the JFL Escapes, Cancoon. 4 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: How are y'all feeling, uh this afternoon? Yes? How many 5 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: of you are confused as to what's happening over here 6 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: right now in the back. Yes, look at this. Huh 7 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: so much HPV in that pool. Huh, my god kills 8 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: it and COVID COVID will kill it. What's gonna die first? 9 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: HPV or to COVID? Who knows? We'll see it's a battle. 10 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,639 Speaker 1: I feel the same way about. Oh, It's like I'm 11 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: gonna get it. You know, I'm gonna get it. I 12 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: hope I don't give it to my parents and uh, 13 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: that's who you're gonna get it from. I did kissing 14 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: my dad on mouth till I was twenty six, and 15 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: he stopped. He was like, I can't do this anymore. 16 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: NICKI No, I tried. The weird part is I'm sorry 17 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,319 Speaker 1: to just jump into this. Hi. Welcome to the show everyone. 18 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: This is the Nicky Glazer Podcast. We're so happy to 19 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: be here in the rain in Cancoon. Uh podcasting to 20 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: a bunch of people standing in a pool, probably pissing. Um, 21 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: who's Pete in the pool so far? Let me just 22 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:42,919 Speaker 1: get honest, No women are raising just one girl, two girls? Alright, 23 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: he took a ship. Who's the real person that took it? 24 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: Hell yeah? Hell yeah? Who's the hero here? Yeah? Back 25 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: to my dad kissing me on the lips. Um, It's 26 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: it's like a thing in my family. I've covered it 27 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: before in the show, but like, my dad did insist 28 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: that my family kiss on the lips, like as kids, 29 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: it's not a weird thing. And he always was like, 30 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: you know, don't be weird about it. When I got 31 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: to be an adult and I was like, Dan, I 32 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: don't want kiss on the lips an where he's like, don't, 33 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: don't make this out to me being creepy. He was 34 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: always like, my my, I kissed my dad on the lips. 35 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, but he died when you were eleven, 36 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: Like that's the appropriate time to stop. And he's like, oh, 37 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: you're right, But so I made him. The weird thing 38 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: is I made him stop kissing me on the lips 39 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 1: for at the age of twenty six. I'm thirty seven now. 40 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: The other day he went to go see one of 41 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: my like my show in Chicago, and he was like 42 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: crying afterwards because I talked about anal too much. And 43 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: um also he was proud and uh no, he was 44 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: very emotion He was like he was just like so 45 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: proud and it was sweet. And it was weird though, 46 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 1: because he came in to hug me and I go, Dad, 47 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 1: you want to kiss And I gave him a kiss 48 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: on the lips, which is even weirder to be like, 49 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: here's your reward, daddy. Like that made it worse somehow 50 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: like it. So I went down on my mom after 51 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: the show. She is in a wheelchair. She is in 52 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 1: a wheelchair. She's still wearing jeans. I just ate through it. God, Andrew, 53 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: people are swimming, like Drew, but these people are swimming. Um, guys, 54 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: we are so excited to be here. I just woke 55 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: up legit an hour ago. Um I yea waken up? 56 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: You wake it up late? Um I you could literally 57 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: say anything in the hooting. Do you want to test it? 58 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: Do you want to test it? Andrew? Yeah, I'm going 59 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: to jail for manslaughter. Yeah it was a child It 60 00:03:50,880 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: was more like child slaughter. Spring. It's like the idea 61 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: of the cardtel listening from far away, just outside the 62 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: gates of this enclosure, just with a cup against the gate. Um. 63 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, we're in Cancoon. I we are in a 64 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: very nice resort, uh, the Barcelo. Yes. We passed about 65 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: ninety three different resorts on the way to this one 66 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: from the airport, but this one had the best sign. 67 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: I have to say. Like, I was like this one, 68 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: We're going to the right place. This place. I've never 69 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: been to a place like this that is like a compound, 70 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: like all inclusive. Right, hard rock. This girl's screaming hard rock? 71 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: What's that about. I think she's just here to promote 72 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: the hard rock in Atlantic City, which is a separate 73 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: issue altogether. But what do you mean by that? Don't 74 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: ask her. It's fine. She was just talking about the 75 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: douce she just took in the pool. It's sunk right 76 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: to the bottom. Um, blame it on the dog. So 77 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: I slept till thirty. You texted me. I think in 78 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: the morning. We're You're supposed to go golfing in the 79 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: morning with Nick who was a part of the JFL Show, 80 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: and then Andrew Santino. We were all we hung out 81 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: last night in my hotel room. I keep you guys 82 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: out eventually because it was like I was tired and 83 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: I was tired of talking shit about other comics. And uh, 84 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: we did a lot of ship talking last night. It 85 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: was really fun. But um, uh Joey, No, I'm just kidding. No, 86 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: we didn't. No, no, I'm just thinking. I'm only saying 87 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: that for the listeners of the show. Who know, I 88 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: love Joe Koy, but there's a thing that he does that. 89 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: Uh you know, if you don't know, if if you 90 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: want to get a standing ovation as a comedian, just wait, 91 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: after you're done, just do this. Thank you so much, 92 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Oh my gosh, you guys, thank you, 93 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: thank you so much. And then everyone will stand eventually 94 00:05:55,160 --> 00:06:00,840 Speaker 1: because they have to leave. Uh So, anyway, we were 95 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: just it was really fun. Well they're already standing in 96 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: the pool. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. 97 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: I thought they'd float a little higher. So last night, 98 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: I we went to bed and I slept in today 99 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: till here's I pulled an Andrew today though, because I 100 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: have to admit I forgot a toothbrush and I have 101 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: not brushed my teeth in Um, you know twenty four 102 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: hours over twenty four hours. Thank you so much. A right, 103 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: you're in You're in Mexico, baby, Yeah, that's yes. I 104 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I did swish with the drinking water. 105 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: Is that okay? Yeah? Oh you're dead, You're dead? Yolo. 106 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: Um I I just did the thing where you pour. 107 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 1: I squirted toothpaste in my mouth and then with my 108 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: finger I went like dish and then I also I 109 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: also flossed with you do yearly? And uh, what's that? 110 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: Did you bring a toothbrush here when it happened to 111 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: Mexico stays here? Yeah? I mean so maybe tell me. 112 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I just felt good there, 113 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: just like a good excuse. It feels like anything. You 114 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: get away with anything. But I realized if you don't so, 115 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: I have always wondered why Andrew doesn't brush his teeth. 116 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: First time, I fucking brush. You're telling all these people 117 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: I don't fucking brush. I brush list if you don't 118 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: listen to the show. Andrew and I live together in St. Louis, Missouri, 119 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: and one time St. Louis go cards. I don't know 120 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: anything about sports. Um, I just like playing cards and 121 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: greeting cards and and go carts. Actually, when people say 122 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: go cards to me, I'm always like go carts. Um 123 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: I uh. One day I walked into Andrew's room and 124 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: in his shower, I saw a toothbrush on the floor, which, listen, 125 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm a grubby person, and I don't care about germs. 126 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: I don't find I don't care about that. I feel 127 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: like that tooth brush is probably cleaner than most. Yes, yes, 128 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: because it's getting all the water and all your body hair. Well, 129 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: I saw your vibrator on your underneath your bed, on 130 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: the carpet, Like, what's cleaner? Before I put it back 131 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: there the carpet. I'm not putting that in my well. Okay, 132 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: I did putting it in my mouth. Sometimes let's put 133 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: in your well. Not when it's on vibrate. That'll break 134 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: a tooth. But you know, um, when I have cankers 135 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: and uh so, do you think you're gonna get some 136 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: vacation cock you think? Wait, I'm not done talking about 137 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: your toothbrust. I was trying to switch it up. Well, 138 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: what I have to say is that I understand now. 139 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: I never understood how you could wake up and not 140 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: brush your teeth because your breath just tastes so bad. 141 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 1: But if you eat something right away or drink something 142 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: with flavor you it goes away. So you can just 143 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: not brush your teeth and not even notice. So I'm 144 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: on board, man, I'm on I'm getting gingivitis, I'm getting HPV, 145 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: I'm getting I ain't getting vacation cocks though, Did you 146 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: just bring that up? Yeah, vacation cock. Is there any 147 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: way that any of these gentlemen can woo you in 148 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 1: a way that will have sex in a in a hammock? Well, 149 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: I do not hammock, you know, are there hammocks? Oh, 150 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 1: there's hammocks over there. Or the bathtub that's on the balcony. 151 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: I feel like they just ordered extra bathtubs here when 152 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: they were creating this place, and they were like, we 153 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: didn't leave room to put these inside. Is there any 154 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: place because they look very out of place on the balcony. 155 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: It's like it's too much. It's not like a jacuzi 156 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: or like a spot. It's like a bathtub, like it 157 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: has like the the grip on the bottom for like 158 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: it looks like a handicap bathroom where there's nothing wrong 159 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:35,199 Speaker 1: with that, but no, nothing at all. Yeah, because there's 160 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 1: no there's no get you know, there's no push back, 161 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: and then you hump once and then it swings. But 162 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: if you get with the swing, maybe it could do. 163 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: You know that Mormons when they do the thing of 164 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: everyone knows about soaking, right, like Mormons are supposed to 165 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: have sex. You're a Mormon on the bridge over there? 166 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: Oh no, but you just know about it. You listen 167 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: to a podcast about Mormonism. Okay, got it, girl. So Mormons, 168 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: I didn't know this. But they're so creative, so they're 169 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: not allowed to have sex before marriage, right, so, but 170 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,719 Speaker 1: they're so horny, so a lot of times they will 171 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: do the thing called soaking where they just put the 172 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: penis in and because it doesn't go back and forth, 173 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: it doesn't count as sex, right, like God doesn't see it. 174 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: But then the weird part is I just found this out. 175 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: Maybe a lot of you know, they'll get their friends 176 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: to jump on the bed so that they're not actually 177 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: doing it and it's their friend's fault. Or they wait 178 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: for an earthquake and that's a little bit more time consummate, 179 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: but more private of course, and God actually causes the 180 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,840 Speaker 1: earthquake because you're soaking and he's mad. It seems like 181 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 1: he's into it. So that's kind of like the same 182 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: idea as a hammock. That, yeah, you soak on a 183 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: hammock and then two buddies push it around. Have you 184 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: ever had sex on a hammock or a vacation sex. 185 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: I've had sex on a water bed, and it's similar, 186 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: I guess you know. Oh yeah, it's hard. It's hard 187 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: to funk on a water bed. Yeah, because no one 188 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: has a water bed anymore. Where do you find one? 189 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: That's the hard part. I'm from Florida, everywhere they're still around. 190 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: That's where they all get your kid. You get your 191 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: own little water bed and then you grow up to 192 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: a big daddy water bed. Andrew have a question for you, like, 193 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: based on what we thought this would be, doing a 194 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: live podcast in the rain in Cancoon for a bunch 195 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: of people in a pool that are really here maybe 196 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: to see Andrew Santino, what did you feel this is 197 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: going so far? How do you feel it's going so far? 198 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: Me too? I feel the same place. I agree, I agree, 199 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 1: I agree. I feel like Polly Shore on spring Break. 200 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: You know, remember when he would just like grope women 201 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:36,839 Speaker 1: and everyone be like that's Polly, you know it's raining. 202 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 1: I love that we're all well older than is anyone 203 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: in college here. No one should be yelling spring break 204 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: past thirty. You're in college right there. Awesome ring break, 205 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 1: grad school going back? Okay, yeah, hell yeah. Uh I um, 206 00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: I am getting really wet, uh not because of that 207 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: hat you're wearing. Um no, I am. I'm ever. It 208 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: is for those of you listening for so by the way, 209 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: this podcast for our listeners, and I do hope that 210 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: you all get on board with this podcast because it's 211 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: generally not as chaotic because this I'm having fun. So 212 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: far we've got you've listened, you've listened, Thank you. That 213 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: was hilarious that a girl in the front row of 214 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 1: the pool, which is I've been is a thing I've 215 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: never said, just told me. She goes, I've listened, and 216 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,719 Speaker 1: usually someone goes, I'm a listener, or like I love it, 217 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: but she's like, I've given it a whirl. I've listened. 218 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: Like she's talking about going to Vietnam or it wasn't easy, 219 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 1: but it is. Thank you so much for your service 220 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: and listening to our podcast at one time. I hope 221 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: you get to board planes early um no, if you 222 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: do listen to this podcast. Um we this is going 223 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: to be airing on Thanksgiving. So I just want to 224 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: give everyone at home and everyone here, I just a 225 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: happy Thanksgiving. I don't know. Uh, I just want to 226 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: say I hope you're I hope this is good for 227 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: you to adequately like, you know, avoid your family today 228 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: all those like things that everyone said, every meme that's 229 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: circulating today about like, well, your family sucks and it's 230 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: better to be alone, you know, Like every meme on 231 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is just like don't bring up politics or do 232 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: to like alienate yourself from your uncle who molested you, 233 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 1: like you know, I don't know, it's always about that. Yeah, 234 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,720 Speaker 1: I don't bring up politics at dinner. I mean I 235 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: just don't know, because you don't know anything about politics anywhere. 236 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: You don't bring anything with me. I'll tell you everything. Um, 237 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: who is the Secretary of State? What state? I shouldn't 238 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 1: ask questions I don't know the answer to. I have 239 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: no idea. Does anyone know? You know? We're all in 240 00:13:55,080 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: who No, No, that's a thanks having dish. Um. Okay, 241 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: so I did you have fun at breakfast this morning? 242 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: Without me? Yeah? We did, especially because you weren't there. 243 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: I will say that you came by my room right 244 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,959 Speaker 1: before this podcast. We met up like a half hour before, 245 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: and I was just like, Andrew, I had a headache 246 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: from not having coffee, and I was like, can you 247 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: just bring me a coffee please. I'm I'm still spray 248 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: tanting myself, which by the way, it's it's all I feel. 249 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: I'm so scared that I'm gonna be like dotted with 250 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: white dots because of this. You look like a spotted pig, 251 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: like like one of the little tiny teacup pigs that 252 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: are bred, uh you know, that are starved to death 253 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 1: so that they're sold in their cuter you look. Um. Yeah, 254 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: I was spray tanting myself waiting for it to dry, 255 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: which it doesn't in this humidity, so uh noted, and um, 256 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: you brought me a coffee and it was guys. He goes. 257 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: He brought it in and I was like, oh, thank 258 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: you so much for the coffee, and I go, he goes. 259 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: The setups actually pretty great. We missed you this morning, 260 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: and I'm really excited about doing it, and I just go, wait, 261 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: did you just say you missed me this morning? It 262 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: was the most subtle little thing. It meant a lot. 263 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: I go. I was gonna let it go because I go, 264 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: I think he just tried to share a feeling and 265 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: I don't want to like, like, you know, harp on 266 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: it and it makes me uncomfortable to me. But I 267 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 1: didn't miss you. I missed you, so don't act like 268 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: you didn't miss me. This I did. I did because 269 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: I thought we had to pay and then it was 270 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: all inclusive and I was like, not that much though 271 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: I thought I'd run your card a few times. You know, well, 272 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: I what did you have fun with you? Yeah? We 273 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: bought a football I just threw into the pool, which 274 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: I didn't think about because I don't think I'm getting 275 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: it back fucking nine thousand pactos or something. It's so expensive. 276 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: Everything is so expensive. Here, what did you pays? Excuse me, 277 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: I was giving it a female touch. They're little pass 278 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: that we're skirt in. Um okay, So do do we 279 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: have like any should we get to the news? Yeah? 280 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: Thank you? Oh my god. I've been wanting to hear 281 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: that from a drunk man for so long. That's the 282 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: only time they say it to me too. When they're 283 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: that guy looks like he wrote a four wheel area. 284 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, hell yeah. That guy fucking put the mountain 285 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: dew into his penis. It's a bada hell yeah, I 286 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: love you. I'll fucking chuck your dick. Bro. Yeah yeah. 287 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: By the way, if you see Andrew walking around this 288 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: resort at any time throughout the day, if you want 289 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: to say, like Andrew, I love you, big fan, it 290 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: will it will make It's like zoloft for him, Like 291 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 1: he will be happy for like three months because of 292 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: your compliment. And so, I don't think I'm above any 293 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: of you, but I do want to say I do 294 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 1: want to say, though, that the time between he started 295 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: I love you Nikki and I love you Andrew was 296 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: enough time for him to whisper to someone, who's the 297 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: guy's name again, what's the what's the guy's name? Thank you? 298 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: You love us? What's my last name? No? Great? What's 299 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 1: my middle name? Not see that right? He said that, dude, 300 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: I hailed it all right, let's get to the news. 301 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: Tell me a news story. Because it was the perfect 302 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: amount of time for him to be like, hurt whatever. 303 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 1: Three other people don't know my name is probably the 304 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: game where you go underwater and you try to have 305 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: the person say something and scream it and see if 306 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 1: you can hear it. That's probably what he did. You 307 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:05,680 Speaker 1: ever kiss your dad underwater? Wild things? You've seen the scene? 308 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: We recreated it? Or show Girls? Remember, No, I never 309 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:15,120 Speaker 1: saw that's onto that. Recently, sex therapists say that holiday 310 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: horny no is is a thing. Yeah, for sure, I 311 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: mean that's obvious. I don't holidays evoke feelings of closeness 312 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: and connection. Also, when people are on vacation, they are 313 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: hornier because you've taken away the stress of the daily grind. Yes, 314 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 1: and it just doesn't feel like this is the real world, 315 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 1: you know, like it just it honestly does feel like 316 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: nothing we do here is going to be accounted for 317 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,679 Speaker 1: outside of these walls. Can't get pregnant in Mexico? I heard, Yes, 318 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: I read that because the water source makes you infertile, 319 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: the cartel will kill your baby. Actually, um yeah, I mean, like, 320 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 1: are you feeling do you miss Brenna? Are you feeling 321 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: horny here? Yeah? I miss Brenna of course. But I 322 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 1: mean there's a girl did off? Have you jerked off 323 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: here yet? No? I'm saving my stock for two weeks 324 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: for my lady present. You know, maybe a girl likes 325 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: more than a ton of come right, all right? Yeah, 326 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,199 Speaker 1: I was just about to ask how many people have 327 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 1: come so far since they've been here, But I just 328 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: feel like, really, you're here together right now. Oh, he's 329 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 1: up against the Jets, Andrew you know all about that. 330 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: Andrew uh famously used to as a child, tell tell 331 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: them about you and the Jets, not the team. My 332 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 1: parents had a hot tub. Not to brag about our money, 333 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 1: but I would suck the Jets before I could actually ejaculate. 334 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: So I just do it till anyhow. I would do 335 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: it every night. I bring a book in to trick 336 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: them and uh, what do you mean? Like I would 337 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: be in there for like an hour and I'd be like, Oh, 338 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: I'm reading Odysseus or whatever, and my mom's like, oh, 339 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: we got a little hemming way And then I got 340 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: an f in English and she's like, oh, I think 341 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: he's fucking jet. You know. Yeah, do you ever like 342 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 1: go in a hot tub and just have kind of 343 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: a flashback or like an impulse to just turn around 344 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: and like just get up on it and and grind. 345 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 1: I'd be lying if I said no, Yeah, I mean 346 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: the bathtub outside on our balcony is just every night. 347 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 1: Last night he was like, hey, bitch, come on over there. Yeah. 348 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 1: I was whispering to you, don't be scared. Yeah, all right, 349 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 1: next story, all right, this one's fun. The top five 350 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: most commonly googled STDs in the US R What do 351 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: we think? Oh number? Can I guess? Can I guess? 352 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,199 Speaker 1: This guy yelled at like he typed it in the world. Yeah, 353 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: it's gotta be herpies because that's the one that's like 354 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: you see something right away and you go, what is it? 355 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 1: And you look it up and it's I've done it. 356 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: I've started herpes so many times I type in H 357 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: and it just fills it in for me and so 358 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: and then you look at the sores and then you 359 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,399 Speaker 1: compare it to what you have, and you go and 360 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 1: you find one that does convince I don't. I don't 361 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: have herpes. I I don't judge anyone who does. I 362 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: just have. Um. It's always razor burn that keeps coming 363 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: back every few months when I get stressed and all 364 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: my boyfriend's get it. But it's definitely razor burn. Don't 365 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: worry about it. And I got on my mouth. So 366 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: it's just weird. No, I don't. I don't have herpes yet, 367 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,400 Speaker 1: but I feel like it's it's number one. No way, 368 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: clam media is number one. I think people are just 369 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: trying to figure out a spell it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, herpes, gnarrhea. 370 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: What is ganaria? Again? Is that? Is that general warks? 371 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: I have no idea. Um, don't ask them. The clap, 372 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:59,400 Speaker 1: the class media, then the snap what's oh? And then 373 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: I wait, what about crabs? Are crabs still around? I 374 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: I know that pubic hair is it? It's their habitat? 375 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: And I know deforestation has been plaguing the crab community 376 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 1: for the past couple of decades. At least they have. 377 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 1: You know, it's a real problem. That's crabs. Like what 378 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 1: is crabs short for something? Oh? No, No, crabs and 379 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:26,919 Speaker 1: scabies are different. It's scabies, dude, you've had it before. 380 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: I've had scabies. I haven't had crabs. I got scabies 381 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 1: from a Turkish bath that you were up against the Jets. 382 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 1: Wait what that seems like the story you tell your 383 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 1: girlfriend who you also gave scabies two? I was a 384 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,159 Speaker 1: Turkish bath, babe, Yeah, yeah it was. It was a towel. 385 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: H Syphilis is number five don't skip over to scab. 386 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 1: Your scab story, Well, I had it for a couple 387 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 1: of months and I was really scared and um, and 388 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: then I went to a doctor and the nurse was 389 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,959 Speaker 1: too good looking to show my balls too, so I 390 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: just said I had a little rash on my hands 391 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: and uh she said it was psoriasis, and I was like, 392 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: that's worse. And then so you guys to my buddy 393 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: that's a doctor, and I go, what is this and 394 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 1: he goes, it's a lot of hair and I was like, well, 395 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,679 Speaker 1: what else? And he's like and so you got like 396 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: you suffered for months with scabies because there was a 397 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: hot nurse. Like girls should not. Women should be aware 398 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,120 Speaker 1: that if there, if any woman being a nurse should 399 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 1: be aware that when you go into a room with 400 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: a guy that that he with that a guy that 401 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,879 Speaker 1: looks a little nervous, he might change his story based 402 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 1: on how like he might get. You know, like, would 403 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: you do that now even though you have a girlfriend. No, 404 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 1: I think I'd be all right. I mean she was 405 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: just you know, she was wearing you know, a little 406 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 1: a little top. Wasn't Halloween, and she was dressed as 407 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: that might have not have been a nurse. I don't 408 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 1: know what it was. It was a woman in an 409 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: alley smoking craft and I was like, when you look 410 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 1: at my real quick? Um, but yeah, that's that's your 411 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: your friends. We learned a lot. We really did learn 412 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: a lot. We have a segment on the show we 413 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: like to do called Top One Bottom One. It's where 414 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 1: we say our least favorite and most favorite stories of 415 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: a certain subject. The category today is vacation moments, because 416 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 1: this is a vacation for many of you. Yes, so 417 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 1: I'm at a Kenny Chesney concert. No ship is the problem? 418 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, yeah, roll have you been doing Kenny n 419 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: I'd love to go. I know I would say it 420 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 1: sounds fun. Uh So tell me what is your least favorite, 421 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 1: your bottom vacation memory? Probably I talked about it this week. 422 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: But having an overdose in New Orleans, Oh my god, 423 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 1: too much cocaine. Was it really an overdose? It was 424 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 1: a mild overdose. The doctor said I was a pussy. 425 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: The medical No, I had a heart murmur, which is 426 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: just a lazy heart. At that murmur? Did you have 427 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: a murmur? A little bitch? I was like, dude, And 428 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: then I was in the heart word for three days 429 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: and I lost seven thousand dollars. You know, wow, Jesus Christ, 430 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: I didn't lose it. But and then yeah, so that 431 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 1: was that, Like you were gambling, what's your weird story? Um, 432 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: my worst one is probably when well it's also my 433 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 1: best and worst. I'll crank out two in one. My 434 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: best one was I got my first kiss on spring 435 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,959 Speaker 1: my first consensual kiss. Let maybe totally honest about that. 436 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 1: The first one was definitely a rape that I didn't enjoy, 437 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 1: but you can be rape kiss. I didn't know if 438 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 1: anyone knows that, but I definitely was. And it was 439 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:52,120 Speaker 1: like a humble brag, I know, just kidding, just kidding. 440 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: Do you know there's different kinds of rape? Besides? I 441 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 1: don't mean to bring up rate, but like I guess 442 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: I do. Um, but there's a aatan's rape, which I've 443 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: never heard of. I was visiting a college campus and 444 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 1: I just picked up the newspaper to go, oh, what's 445 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,479 Speaker 1: you know a topical thing I could talk about on stage? 446 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,359 Speaker 1: And um, I wasn't visiting. I was actually, you know, 447 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: performing at it. And so it said acquaintance rape on campus, 448 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,479 Speaker 1: and I was like, I love the idea that they 449 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: have to. A girl goes to the police and it's 450 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,439 Speaker 1: like I was raped, and they're like, who did it? Like, 451 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 1: were you attacked and pulled in some bushes by a stranger? No, 452 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,200 Speaker 1: like I I like I knew him. Oh were you 453 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,120 Speaker 1: guys dating? That would be no, it wasn't a date. Well, 454 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: like I knew him, but like we're like he was 455 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: like a friend of a friend. Like, oh, acquaintance, rape, Okay, 456 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: Like so you guys just like nod to each other 457 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: on campus. Why do we have to even qualify it? 458 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying. I had no idea 459 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: about this until just now. But ye, so anyway, I wash. 460 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 1: My first kiss was just you know, he just no, 461 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,639 Speaker 1: he was a friend and h but it was a kiss. 462 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 1: And then the second one, my second kiss, which was official, 463 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: was in Fort Myers. And the beauty of that was 464 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,199 Speaker 1: was my group of friends in high school were not 465 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: like the popular girls. We were just like somewhere in between. 466 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 1: But I had never kissed a boy. Was sixteen or 467 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: seventeen at this point, and all my friends had like 468 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: blown people and like gone down on each other and 469 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: I had not, and I had not done anything, and 470 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: I was so nervous. I was like, I'm gonna be 471 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,199 Speaker 1: bad at it, and um, and I really wanted my 472 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: I I have lofty goals. I'm like, it has to 473 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 1: be someone pretty impressive, and I couldn't get anyone at 474 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: my high school impressive enough because I wasn't cool enough 475 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 1: and there was popular girls that they could kiss. So 476 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 1: we go down to Fort Myers, Florida, and it's there's 477 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 1: like no one there that we're really into. Me and 478 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 1: my girlfriends are on the beach laying out, and then 479 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,360 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the group of popular guys from 480 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: our high school are also vacationing in Fort Myers, Florida, 481 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,880 Speaker 1: but the girls are the popular girls are not there. 482 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: And these guys are striking out in Fort Myers and 483 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,399 Speaker 1: they see us and they know that they have value 484 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 1: to us, and they're like, I guess this is good enough. 485 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: And they're like, let's hang ladies, and I'm like, yes, 486 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: we get hang with the most popular boys. So then 487 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,719 Speaker 1: we go that night. Are you booing? Okay? I know 488 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: this is so stupid. What Buddha popular boys. They're they're 489 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,119 Speaker 1: all degenerates now, not doing very well working for their 490 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 1: dad's construction companies. So it's like who won in the end, 491 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 1: but yeah, does blue collar workers computer on. I've been 492 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 1: told to stop talking about them because I've been contacted 493 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: by like friends of theirs being like stop like instagram, 494 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: liv ing the the yearbook and saying like this guy 495 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 1: was hot in high school. And I'm like, why why 496 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: they go because he's just going through a really hard 497 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 1: time and you're like bringing up some memories. I'm like 498 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 1: that he was cool in high school, like tough. So 499 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: I won't drop names, but uh, that's what I usually 500 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: drop a name. But I'm really actually scared of these 501 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: people because I live now in this city where they are. 502 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 1: So we go to this guy's like Grandma's house and 503 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: it's the popular boys and it's the first time I'm 504 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: like drinking in my whole life, and I'm feeling a 505 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 1: little drunken. I know that I'm gonna like kiss a 506 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: boy that night, and I'm like so excited, and I 507 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: have my eyes set on this guy, Matt. You know, 508 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: I'm like he I've always liked him. I've I've always 509 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: had a thing for this guy. And we're and then 510 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: there's other guys that I'm just like I can't even 511 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: get them right now, like they're two, that's too lofty 512 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 1: of goals. I'll take this Matt guy, who I already liked. 513 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: So we're in this silarium room alone and we are 514 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: literally like, I'm not even kidding you. It was out 515 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 1: of like a movie. I'm about to get my first 516 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: We're we're this close to kissing. And my friend Taylor, 517 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: who was on the water polo team, and she was 518 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 1: a year older and she was on the water polo 519 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: team with all these popular boys. She was kind of 520 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: like cool with them and just like you know, wasn't 521 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 1: as intimidated. She burst in the room and all my 522 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 1: friends are outside the room like being like nicky kiss 523 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: and we're just kind of laughing and I'm leaning in 524 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 1: too kiss this guy for the first time. And we 525 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: get this close, and she burst in the room and 526 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: she's like Nikki. She goes, sorry, sorry, Matt, you've been trumped. 527 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: And it was the first time I heard the word 528 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,719 Speaker 1: trumped in my life. And I know, but it's pertinent 529 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 1: to give him a chance, jeez. She goes, she goes, 530 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: he'll be back, watch your words. So she goes, sorry, Matt, 531 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: you've been trumped, and she's pulling this guy, Larry, who 532 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: he doesn't care if I say his name. He's pulling 533 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 1: this guy. She's pulling this guy Larry, and um, she 534 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: goes and she mouths me, he wants to make out 535 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 1: with you, and I go, so sorry, Matt, We'll we'll 536 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 1: see you next time. And Matt literally went from this 537 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 1: to like having to leave. And then Larry popped down 538 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: and I was like, because Larry was legit, like he 539 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: was it, he was the he was the hottest guy 540 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: in our school. So then because of I'm in the 541 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: situation where there's no other women and like I'm as 542 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 1: only choice, he sits to which is how I got 543 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I've used these tactics to get hot guys 544 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 1: my whole life. The rest. Yeah, this was this was 545 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: honestly the last resort on the way from the airport. 546 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 1: So we so he sits down and I'm like, oh 547 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,719 Speaker 1: my god, I'm about to kiss Larry, like this is 548 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: a dream come true. And I was so awkward, didn't 549 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 1: know what to do, and he did this really dumb 550 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 1: move where he was like we were both like drinking 551 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: wine and he like spilled it on my boobs. I 552 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: just did it to myself, but I didn't mean to. 553 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: I didn't know that. That That didn't mean spilled it. And 554 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:37,960 Speaker 1: then he remember that made me uncomfortable. I missed you 555 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: at breakfast. Um so so I uh so he spilled 556 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 1: it on me, and he goes, oh, no, what are 557 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: we gonna do to clean that up? I was like 558 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: looking for a towel. I was like, I don't know, 559 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,680 Speaker 1: I mean, you did it to me. He spilled red 560 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: wine on my j cruise swimsuit I bought specifically for 561 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: that trip. Fuck. And I'm like looking around like kind 562 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 1: of for Seltzer, being like I know Seltzer works, but 563 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 1: this was in the like the early two thousands before 564 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: Seltzer was like everywhere you know, and like looking for 565 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: a Lacroix, but there's none to be found. And then 566 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 1: he goes, we just like let me get it, and 567 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: he just starts sucking my boob to like clean it 568 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: up like abistle shot back. And so before my first kiss, 569 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: I got my first boob suck. Do you think, thanks Joe? 570 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: And then let me say why this was the worst. 571 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: So that was the best because I was like I 572 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 1: got to kiss the hottest guy in our grade. This 573 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,720 Speaker 1: is such like this is I can't wait to bring 574 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 1: this back with me. This will be awesome and bragging 575 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 1: rights exactly. But I wasn't that type of girl that 576 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 1: was like, I mean, I just wanted to tell my friends, 577 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: you know, like my other friends that weren't on the trip. 578 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,720 Speaker 1: So then I get back to school and I'm feeling 579 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,600 Speaker 1: really tired and like getting a sore throat. I got 580 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 1: fucking mono from my first kiss that lasted my for 581 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: three months. And the only and by the way, I 582 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 1: did not know this at the time, the only people 583 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 1: that had mono in the school and by the way, 584 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: he he didn't tell anyone. I was like a secret, 585 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: which is always embarrassing when you're that girl that's like, 586 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: why don't you tell anyone? They're like, just because I'm 587 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: respecting your privacy. It's not because I'm embarrassed. And he 588 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: didn't tell anyone because it was me, him and his girlfriend, 589 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 1: which I didn't had a girlfriend, and then and we 590 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: and because we all had mono, it was like a 591 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: thing in school, so everyone ended up knowing and that 592 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 1: was my worst thing. What was your worst What was 593 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: your best vacation moment? Andrew Colin listening to that story 594 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: that would have worked better with worse And how dare you? 595 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,320 Speaker 1: I mean, you have them, but and that's why you're 596 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: wearing a shirt, and you will be the rest of 597 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 1: this trap. Don't pretend like this is just what shirt. Okay, 598 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,480 Speaker 1: I'll take my shirt it off, I promise, not right now, 599 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: not right now, not in brend of people, when I'm 600 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,879 Speaker 1: alone in my room under the bed, but I'll take 601 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 1: it off. No, no, no, when I'm alone, when I'm alone, 602 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,719 Speaker 1: when I'm alone, all right, all right, stopping. Oh my god. 603 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,359 Speaker 1: I really apologize to everyone listening to this at their 604 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: aunt's house on Thanksgiving and listening to people shreaking, just 605 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: being like I wish I was that fun, but there's 606 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 1: no what's the best vacation? Uh, probably fingering a girl. 607 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 1: That's about it. That was the whole story. Yeah, did 608 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,879 Speaker 1: you spill red wine and we're like, let me get 609 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,759 Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, it was a white wine. I kept 610 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,840 Speaker 1: doing classy you know. No, it's on a cruise and 611 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 1: I fingered her and then I got an age test 612 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: when I was a virgin because I bit my nails 613 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: after I fingered her. Yeah, that's a true story. It's sad. 614 00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,799 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, I truly that was your best one? 615 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: Did you like get to brag? Were your brothers on 616 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 1: that trip to like? Was your whole family? Was there 617 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 1: my family? Were you so excited? It was my first 618 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:18,439 Speaker 1: anty ovation? It was amazing? Ye are stop? This will 619 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: be unlistenable if all we have is screams. But I 620 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 1: do appreciate the enthusiasm. So was that really your stop it? 621 00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 1: Take off your shirt, Andrews, take your shirt off. You 622 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: take your shirt off. I don't have anything under this. 623 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:40,319 Speaker 1: Stop it. I feel like this isn't consensual. Y'all are 624 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,879 Speaker 1: acquaintance raping for me right now? I don't like it. 625 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:50,200 Speaker 1: It feels a lot like acquainting raping. You know what 626 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,439 Speaker 1: I wanted to do. I wanted to when I looked 627 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 1: out across the pool, and I don't want this to 628 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 1: be chaotic. I want you and you all have probably 629 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: looked at each other, observed each other. I want this 630 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: to be as organized as possible without as much chaos. 631 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: I want who here has the worst tattoo? Several people 632 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: to line up? Yeah, well, y'all, line up, come here, 633 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,759 Speaker 1: get out of the pool. That's a great idea. If 634 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,320 Speaker 1: you have a shitty tattoo, line is. I mean this, 635 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: this could go on all night from what I've seen, 636 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,920 Speaker 1: but look at that guy that just walked over. It 637 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 1: was like, I gotta do it. If anyone has a 638 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 1: good tattoo, here, okay, honey, oh my god, is that 639 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,919 Speaker 1: a port wine stain or atchoo? You have a crab? Wait? 640 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 1: Come here, here, get in the camera with me. Okay, 641 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 1: So if you guys could just stop screaming for a second, 642 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,239 Speaker 1: just so I can hear her. Okay, So what is 643 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: your name? You're only okay, so you sound to be 644 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: in the same state that the tattoo artists who gave 645 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: you these wise and okay, tell me which one of 646 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:58,640 Speaker 1: these tattoos is your most embarrassed? You got your what 647 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 1: my ex is tattoo covered up? You got your ex's 648 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: tattoo covered up? Now eat his name? Wait? What what 649 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: does what does that mean? Your ex's tattoo like a tattoo? 650 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 1: You got four your X or a tattoo that your 651 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 1: ex gave you know, he's ex's best dad gave it 652 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:22,600 Speaker 1: to me, your ex's best dad? He hasn't out of 653 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: all his dad's the best one. Okay, show me what 654 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,360 Speaker 1: what it is. So it says on the wings of 655 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,600 Speaker 1: a dream and there's a feather that looks like a 656 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,880 Speaker 1: house centipede. And wait, let's le let's get into the 657 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 1: camera so the people on YouTube can see. Can you 658 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 1: just turn there's the camera right there. Okay, what was 659 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: it before? What was it before? Honey? Please Anthony? Oh 660 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,520 Speaker 1: it was Oh it's said Anthony before, and now it 661 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,880 Speaker 1: says on the wings of a dream. Um. I go 662 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,640 Speaker 1: back to Anthony, literally, go back to him. Thank you 663 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: so much, Emily, that was great. All right, okay, Andrew, 664 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: who do you have over there? You can go back 665 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 1: in the pool suite. Thank you so much. Thank you girl. 666 00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,480 Speaker 1: Oh my god, the line is out of the resort, 667 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 1: you guys for bad tattoos into the ocean. All right, 668 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:16,000 Speaker 1: we're gonna do here. What's your name? Okay, Emma, Emma 669 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: giving him a round of applause. We can't hear her. Okay, Emma, 670 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 1: what um what's your tattoo? And why is it terrible? 671 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 1: Is it your best? Dads? Dude, I only have one 672 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:30,120 Speaker 1: tattoo and it's and it's bad. I never wanted a tattoo. Okay, 673 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:35,919 Speaker 1: why did you get one? I was in Alaska, Alaska, Alaska. 674 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 1: The old. I was. I'm on a glacier. Obviously, the 675 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:45,600 Speaker 1: tattoo parlors there are not the best. Yeah, so where 676 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 1: where is it? Yes? Oh, it's on your kind of 677 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:54,320 Speaker 1: it's cute. I like it. Okay, it's a mountain range. 678 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,319 Speaker 1: You guys, this looks like she was in the Nixium Call. 679 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 1: To be honest with you, this looks like the initials 680 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,799 Speaker 1: two people who were Wait, let's just see it really quick. 681 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,200 Speaker 1: It's a mountain range with the food. I think that's adorable. 682 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,439 Speaker 1: The lines are way too long. The lines are too long. 683 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 1: It's ugly. It's not ugly. I actually really like it. 684 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 1: Your friend got the moon and you have the sun. 685 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 1: Are you still friends with that girl? Yeah? Of course, 686 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,239 Speaker 1: yeah we'll think good. I don't regret that for you. Yea, yeah, 687 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:29,280 Speaker 1: great job. Okay, Hi, honey, I got this tattoo with 688 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:34,480 Speaker 1: my three best friends. Yes, most of you will know 689 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: this as Mario super Blast on Mario Race cart. Okay, 690 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 1: why did you choose that? Oh, it's like it's three 691 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,960 Speaker 1: like mountain range kind of triangles. Uh, you know, triangles 692 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,160 Speaker 1: without the bottom? Okay, why did you get that? So 693 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,960 Speaker 1: that's the thing you go over and it goes boom 694 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: and it makes you exactly you're gonna get a super 695 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,879 Speaker 1: blast from this tattoo on Mario Kart. Yep, yep, yep yepp. 696 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,640 Speaker 1: I got this with my best friends. She put did 697 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,760 Speaker 1: major air quotes on that, you guys, major air quote. 698 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,000 Speaker 1: How did they betray you? First of all, this first 699 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 1: bitch like just ditch me. Okay what what did she look? 700 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: She was just like she just like peaced out for 701 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,080 Speaker 1: no reason. For real. I'm so sorry. You seem awesome. Yeah, 702 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:33,400 Speaker 1: it's a great tattoo. Yeah, flatter all right, thank you 703 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,839 Speaker 1: so much. Girl. What's your name? My name is Dominique. 704 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 1: Dominique over here and what domin did you have that 705 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 1: you did you feel? Actually? I thought that maybe i'd 706 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,480 Speaker 1: feel liberated, like amongst other people that had bad tattoos. 707 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 1: But these haven't been bad. I'm just like the air 708 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 1: tattoos are not that bad at I agree. Mine is 709 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,319 Speaker 1: so horrible. Are you we go? Are you ready? Yes? 710 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:02,320 Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Okay what do we got? Oh? Boy? 711 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: That is tragic? Okay, what we're looking at? For those 712 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 1: in the back, it is a cartoon whale that is 713 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,319 Speaker 1: outlined with um black and then it's colored in with 714 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,719 Speaker 1: like an orange. But it looks like just like a 715 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: period stain. Um, it's not good. What what's the origin 716 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: of it? So it's it's fucking whaley bad. It's like 717 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 1: what it is? What? What's the meaning behind it? Too much? No, no, no, listen. 718 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 1: Everybody now, of course, wants to think that it's like 719 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,280 Speaker 1: a um, what do you call it? Like a vineyard vines? 720 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:41,760 Speaker 1: Like it does look like vineyard vine. I'm not white 721 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,239 Speaker 1: enough for that, so I promise you. And it's right 722 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 1: next to where your vines are coming down a little. Oh, 723 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,920 Speaker 1: I know, I know. I have never wanted to not 724 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,360 Speaker 1: save the whales so much. After seeing that tattoo, I 725 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 1: think we should. We should whale them all. I was 726 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,160 Speaker 1: thinking of how you kill a whale, and it's just 727 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: called whaling. Definitely not as firm whale. I'll tell you 728 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:04,879 Speaker 1: that whale bad decisions, wali bad. Thank you so much, girl. 729 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,799 Speaker 1: That was truly terrible. Okay, what do you got what's 730 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: your name? Megan? Okay, Megan? Megan is showing us a 731 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,640 Speaker 1: tattoo on her thigh. What do we got here? I 732 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 1: have three? Oh, you have three? I was sorry that 733 00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:17,719 Speaker 1: one's great. I didn't mean to say that one was 734 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 1: the bad one. That one's awesome. That just looks like 735 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: a bruise, like a three week old bruise. Oh, you 736 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,839 Speaker 1: have a hot dog on your hip? But why that? Um? 737 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,840 Speaker 1: I went on a road trip with my cousin across 738 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,560 Speaker 1: America find America's best hot dog. So I decided to 739 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: get a hot tattoo. I kind of like that. Is that? 740 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,799 Speaker 1: And you have a chicken nugget on your heel that 741 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,960 Speaker 1: has a face on it. It It looks like meat? What from? 742 00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:46,359 Speaker 1: Who's doing these tattoos? What's it called? You know? Aquitine? 743 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,960 Speaker 1: Thank you? And it looks like meat? One? Um, did 744 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 1: you find the best hot dog? Um? No, we didn't, 745 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: So I'm glad you commemorated that trip with that. Did 746 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,880 Speaker 1: your cousin die or something like? Is there some reason 747 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 1: that you got that? No? I just like getting stupid 748 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 1: tattoos because I think it's funny. What's the next one? 749 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:10,120 Speaker 1: I have doing a a live podcast on Nextool. Wait, 750 00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,719 Speaker 1: you got a bottom of your foot? I wanted to 751 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: do the bottom of your foot, But you have a 752 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 1: hairy toe that does not look like a hairy toe. 753 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: That looks like Um. When I went to rehab one 754 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 1: of my friends, and there was a tattoo artist rehab 755 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 1: bottom of I love it. Congrats on being are you 756 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:35,160 Speaker 1: still recovered? You're literally the only sober person who's been 757 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,600 Speaker 1: up here today. So thank you for that. Literally my 758 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 1: favorite Oh my god, thank you. So don't please don't 759 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 1: say that into the she's literally my favorite comedian. Oh 760 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:48,800 Speaker 1: my god, that's so cool. Thank you, babe, You're so sweet. 761 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,160 Speaker 1: I love that. Wait, did the bottom of your foot 762 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:58,000 Speaker 1: really hurt? It was awful? Okay, here we go, Come on, Andrew, 763 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,280 Speaker 1: are you still know he's not? You know? All right? Okay? 764 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,240 Speaker 1: What's her name? Maria? Mariah has fuck off written inside 765 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,080 Speaker 1: her lip? Bottom lip? I love how you have, Like 766 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,360 Speaker 1: that's amazing. I like that you have very church energy. 767 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 1: And then it's like, yeah, you have like soaking energy, 768 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 1: and it's like, fuck you bitch. I hate my priest. 769 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 1: I was eighteen. It was a super trend. It was 770 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,520 Speaker 1: supposed to disappear over time and it was between this 771 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:30,120 Speaker 1: or coume dumpsters. Wait, your lips were too small for 772 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,840 Speaker 1: cume dumps. I love it. How when do you break 773 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,960 Speaker 1: that out? Like? Did you when do you surprise people 774 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 1: with that? Is there? Ever been a good time where 775 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,400 Speaker 1: you're like, oh my gosh, this is the perfect opportunity 776 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 1: for me to pull down my lip. Right now, right now, 777 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,040 Speaker 1: this is the best time ever, because you were the 778 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 1: one that like you were over there and I was 779 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,000 Speaker 1: kind of making eye contact with you through the whole thing, 780 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,239 Speaker 1: because you've just been like very encouraging, like stage mom, 781 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,319 Speaker 1: like smile, Nikki, sit up straight, You've got this. This 782 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,200 Speaker 1: isn't as bad as it feels. And then when you 783 00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,000 Speaker 1: when I asked about the bat tattoos, I just saw 784 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:00,960 Speaker 1: you just kind of go is my time I have 785 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,279 Speaker 1: been called? Like it was just I'm so glad you 786 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,600 Speaker 1: got this time to shine. Oh good, thank you off 787 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:14,040 Speaker 1: just getting just getting it's a joke, like I don't 788 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,520 Speaker 1: know I left in the show, but we have a 789 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 1: long line and I want to get to all these people. Okay, 790 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:26,480 Speaker 1: my name is Ali. I'm from Ohio. Okay, Ali, what's 791 00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,440 Speaker 1: your bad tattoo? So my bad tattoo is literally the 792 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 1: word Ohio. It's the Ohio and my parents I thought 793 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,160 Speaker 1: they were going to be really excited about it, and 794 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,680 Speaker 1: I was like, guys, it's my birthday. I got this tattoo, 795 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,800 Speaker 1: Like I love going to school here, and they're like, sweetie, 796 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,880 Speaker 1: that's fucking stupid. Should I get My mom was like, 797 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get Illinois and my dad was like I'm 798 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,120 Speaker 1: gonna get Indiana. I'm gonna get Michigan. They're like making 799 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,439 Speaker 1: fun of the surrounding escape. Um I like it. It's 800 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 1: a I don't hate it, and and I kind of 801 00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:01,120 Speaker 1: like Ohio was always like oh Hi, Like you can 802 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,319 Speaker 1: just think of it as like whenever someone sees that 803 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,719 Speaker 1: you can I don't know what you can do with that. 804 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,919 Speaker 1: But um, so you're still from Ohio. Do you feel 805 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,640 Speaker 1: like you can't leave now because of that tattoo? Actually so, 806 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,840 Speaker 1: I've lived in Texas and Colorado since then, So it 807 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,239 Speaker 1: makes it even worse because people are like, why the 808 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,080 Speaker 1: fun do you have that on you? And I also 809 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,200 Speaker 1: got it on the day of my birthday party and 810 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:19,960 Speaker 1: I was wearing a dress and a thong and I 811 00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:21,719 Speaker 1: didn't realize where it was and everyone's like, I want 812 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,160 Speaker 1: to see your tattoo. So I showed everyone at my 813 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:27,080 Speaker 1: party in my ass, including my brother and all of 814 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:31,839 Speaker 1: his friends. Very Ohio of you. Okay, thank you so much. Ah, 815 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,560 Speaker 1: you can go where ever you want. Hunt just don't 816 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,360 Speaker 1: hurt yourself or just maybe just fall direct me on 817 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:40,439 Speaker 1: that tattoo and have to have it. Like, I don't 818 00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,719 Speaker 1: know how much time we have lived, but I want 819 00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,600 Speaker 1: to keep going. Let's get as many as we can. 820 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,440 Speaker 1: We have five minutes. Okay, great, because this is the guy. 821 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,880 Speaker 1: I want to get to it. Just okay, but I 822 00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,200 Speaker 1: can't wait. Let me talk about this girl. She's the 823 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:57,360 Speaker 1: friends um like the door thing, the friends door hanger. 824 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's good. I like that. Oh my gosh. 825 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,960 Speaker 1: She's got a lot of great ones. Okay, what is 826 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:08,759 Speaker 1: your worst one? Marilyn Monroe signature? Oh god, what an icon? 827 00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,200 Speaker 1: When did you do that? How old are you? I 828 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: was twenty? And do you just like relate to her 829 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,799 Speaker 1: that you're both going to die of like overdose on pills? Yeah, 830 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,759 Speaker 1: just like a spici is over drunken overdose. And then 831 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:26,640 Speaker 1: also I have um oh you were bleeding bleeding, but 832 00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:31,640 Speaker 1: also matching tattoo for my eighteen year old boyfriend. It's 833 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,839 Speaker 1: a Chinese symbol. What is that form? Symbol for love? 834 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:39,960 Speaker 1: Japanese symbol for love? And are you still with him? Uh? No? 835 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,479 Speaker 1: Does he still have it? You think? Uh? He still 836 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,640 Speaker 1: has it. Yeah, he still has it well, and that's 837 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,520 Speaker 1: not so bad. What did you say on your arm? There? 838 00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:52,799 Speaker 1: What's the other one? Love her, believe her wild? Like 839 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 1: love her but leave her wild? What is that from? Um? Oh, 840 00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,759 Speaker 1: I guess it's just like from like my friend's handwriting. Yeah, 841 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,800 Speaker 1: she at it. Oh that's good handwriting. She should have 842 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:06,160 Speaker 1: written Marilyn mon Rose signature too, Thank you so much. 843 00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:11,000 Speaker 1: Those are terrible. All right, I'm kidding. All right, what's 844 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,400 Speaker 1: her name? I'm Jesse, Hi Jess. You're a first dude? 845 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,200 Speaker 1: What is um? I guess guys don't admit they have 846 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:18,799 Speaker 1: bad tattoos as much as women. We've got a couple 847 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:20,959 Speaker 1: of guys in the line. Um, you have so many 848 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:25,160 Speaker 1: tattoos you're nearly like, yeah, mostly tattoos. What which one 849 00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,840 Speaker 1: is your one you regret the most? All of them? Really? 850 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,239 Speaker 1: All of them? Are you pulling ap Pete Davidson and 851 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,239 Speaker 1: want to get them removed? No, I'm not as bad 852 00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,160 Speaker 1: as okay, yeah, yeah, he's only fucking Kim Kardashian. Now 853 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,839 Speaker 1: it's uh, it's what a terrible life. Okay, So tell 854 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 1: me what are you going to your what's your worst one? Well, 855 00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,799 Speaker 1: let's where do I start. Let's see, this is a 856 00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:49,800 Speaker 1: low shelf vodka simbol, covering up a burning church, covering 857 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:54,279 Speaker 1: up a burning church. Hurt you? Who hurt you? I 858 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:59,840 Speaker 1: was drinking the low shelf vodka. You have a vodka 859 00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:02,640 Speaker 1: able on your arm. They didn't pay you anything, there 860 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:06,640 Speaker 1: was no endorsement deal. Okay. What's on your neck? That's 861 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,920 Speaker 1: a phoenix feather in a bottle? Why do you have 862 00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,560 Speaker 1: a phoenix feather in a bottle? Uh? And and there's 863 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,080 Speaker 1: water in the bottle? What? Why is what's the symbolism 864 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,919 Speaker 1: of that? It's a magic potion brings you back to life, 865 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,080 Speaker 1: says I'll never have enough money to buy a house. 866 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:28,439 Speaker 1: Maybe not you. A Pacman on your foot? That one's 867 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,960 Speaker 1: the coolest I would say I got. I got it 868 00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,160 Speaker 1: as payment for driving a bus boy home from the 869 00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:40,120 Speaker 1: Olive garden. Okay, it's on me, dude, I don't need anything. 870 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,239 Speaker 1: Maybe take an Andy's mint or something that he had 871 00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,359 Speaker 1: in his glove combarbment. Okay, thank you so much. Those 872 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:50,680 Speaker 1: were terrible. Good luck to you. I got a Pacman 873 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:54,000 Speaker 1: tattoo because I drove a bus boy home from olive Garden. Yes, 874 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,520 Speaker 1: I mean I think, I think I would have went 875 00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,200 Speaker 1: with the bread sticks. All right, what do we got? Right? 876 00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:06,719 Speaker 1: What's next? So I got all right, I got a 877 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,040 Speaker 1: lotus flower. But it kind of looks like a ball sack. 878 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,719 Speaker 1: Why that looks exactly like a ball sack. I'm gonna 879 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,319 Speaker 1: take a picture of it so we can insert it. 880 00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,120 Speaker 1: And what is that? It's like a little squirren them 881 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,759 Speaker 1: everyone that it showed us our tattoos. We need to 882 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,840 Speaker 1: get a photo of it. Okay, that's a ball sack 883 00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:26,000 Speaker 1: for sure. And it's this two. Did you run a marathon? 884 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,319 Speaker 1: I did? Okay one time. Did you just put that 885 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,120 Speaker 1: on there to make up for the fact that it 886 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 1: looked like a ball sack and just changed the tattoo? 887 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:36,759 Speaker 1: And I was eighteen? I was like, well, this was 888 00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,840 Speaker 1: significant in my life? Was Twicey's going to just the 889 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:41,680 Speaker 1: age at which you knew you were going to regret 890 00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:46,960 Speaker 1: doing that? That shows a prediction came away before them. Um, 891 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,839 Speaker 1: the rest of your tattoos are pretty good though. From 892 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,279 Speaker 1: there when you I just want to know, though, you guys, 893 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,440 Speaker 1: this looks so much like a ball sack, it's insane. 894 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,279 Speaker 1: When you were getting it done, was it was it 895 00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: a lot like getting a haircut at like great clips 896 00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,200 Speaker 1: or supers? Where you go? I love it? Like, did 897 00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:03,920 Speaker 1: you have to lie to the tattoo artists? Did you 898 00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:05,320 Speaker 1: know right away? When did you know it was a 899 00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:09,319 Speaker 1: ball sack? Two years later somebody pointed it out, and 900 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,640 Speaker 1: now you just can't see it, and I'm like, it's 901 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,000 Speaker 1: fun now, It's so no one was honest with you 902 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,560 Speaker 1: enough about it at first because everyone thought it everyone did. 903 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,239 Speaker 1: People want to see your ball? Want everyone wants to 904 00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,439 Speaker 1: see it. It's hard to see. You gotta we'll post 905 00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:29,520 Speaker 1: a picture of it. They're tiny little balls. The girl 906 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,400 Speaker 1: who's up next? Okay? Are you the one with the 907 00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:38,640 Speaker 1: friends door thing? Definitely have no friends. We have no friends. Okay, 908 00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:41,600 Speaker 1: what do you have? So we cannot see it? But 909 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,920 Speaker 1: I have shooting stars on my boobs. I was sixteen 910 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,880 Speaker 1: on acid and I thought it was a great idea 911 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,520 Speaker 1: to get tattooeds. Wait, how did you get tattoos at sixteen? 912 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,080 Speaker 1: Did you have You didn't have parents that were very 913 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,800 Speaker 1: involved in your life either. But my twelve year old tattoo, 914 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,879 Speaker 1: which is a lizard, my dad was to tell me, 915 00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:06,279 Speaker 1: just like this, let me see the lizard. Andrews scared 916 00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,640 Speaker 1: of lizards and this might make it worse. Oh, it 917 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:14,960 Speaker 1: looks like the number eight. Yeah, okay, Um, what was 918 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 1: I gonna ask you? Oh? You also have had I 919 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,719 Speaker 1: can see you've had your ears gauged before, and you've 920 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:23,440 Speaker 1: taken them out so they look like a little bit baggy. 921 00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,959 Speaker 1: So I've always wondered why people do that, not knowing 922 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,279 Speaker 1: like there's gonna be a time when you take it 923 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,160 Speaker 1: out and it's gonna be this like kind of gaping hole. 924 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,520 Speaker 1: How do you feel about those? You're trying to figure 925 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,680 Speaker 1: out what your personality is. Yes, you didn't have an identity, 926 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,759 Speaker 1: and now your identity is what I still don't know. 927 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:44,240 Speaker 1: I still don't know. Well, it's you guys just looking 928 00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:48,280 Speaker 1: for an identity. If anyone wants to give her one. 929 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,279 Speaker 1: I like dogs. She likes dogs. That makes her unique? 930 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:55,600 Speaker 1: Who doesn't? Who hate? Everyone hates dogs? That's truly different. Okay, 931 00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,960 Speaker 1: cool girl, Thank you so much. I like that you 932 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,680 Speaker 1: have perspective on your tattoos. That's that's actually an identity 933 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,839 Speaker 1: and a fantastic ass as you walk away. I mean, 934 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:08,800 Speaker 1: that is award winning Jesus Christ. Hello, I'm Dino from Seattle. 935 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,759 Speaker 1: From Seattle, I've never seen a dino look more like 936 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:22,759 Speaker 1: a dino? Whatever? Can't see this? Okay, yeah he's this 937 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:29,880 Speaker 1: guy's grandpa owned a pizza shop, guaranteed. Okay, alright, where's 938 00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,680 Speaker 1: your tattoo? And what is it? It's on my right 939 00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:35,640 Speaker 1: butt cheek. It's from my first job at a taco 940 00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:43,040 Speaker 1: shop called Taco Time in Seattle. And oh my god, 941 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:47,040 Speaker 1: you guys, it is a faded cactus, green cactus with 942 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:52,799 Speaker 1: sunglasses on. Yeah, I found. Do you warn women about 943 00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,120 Speaker 1: that before they get intimate with you, much like you 944 00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,080 Speaker 1: would be disclosing herpes or something. Do you go and 945 00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,800 Speaker 1: wait a second before we get to know each other intimately. 946 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,160 Speaker 1: I need to tell you something before I go down 947 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:03,680 Speaker 1: on you. You have to know that I have a 948 00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:07,120 Speaker 1: cactus tattoo on my ass. Yes. Do you regret it? No, 949 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,200 Speaker 1: not at all. It's kind of funny, and it's buried 950 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:13,560 Speaker 1: beneath so much hair it's barely perceptible. I still eat there. 951 00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,520 Speaker 1: I still love it. So I thought you were talking 952 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,279 Speaker 1: about your ass. I was like, I wouldn't eat there. 953 00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:22,359 Speaker 1: Uh well, thank you so much from Seattle. Appreciate it. Yes, 954 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,120 Speaker 1: what an ass? What an ass? Oh my god? This 955 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,880 Speaker 1: is like so fun should do a whole podcast about this. 956 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, I guess that's what this is 957 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:36,360 Speaker 1: turning into. Hello, Hello Rachel from Ohio. Rachel, Ohio? Do 958 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,799 Speaker 1: you have Ohio tattooed on you? I don't, but um, 959 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:43,640 Speaker 1: the tattoo itself isn't bad, but the content behind it is. Oh, 960 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,800 Speaker 1: this is deep. Yeah, it is the guy I thought 961 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,240 Speaker 1: was my dad I had tattooed on my back because 962 00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:52,120 Speaker 1: he passed away. Turns out he's not my dad. My 963 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,839 Speaker 1: are not the father. Everyone stand up, you are not 964 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:05,880 Speaker 1: the father she has in loving memory. And then Kenneth 965 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:12,759 Speaker 1: l uh full of shitto. Your your back looks like 966 00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,760 Speaker 1: the back of a car that is of a certain 967 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,520 Speaker 1: ethnicity that drives around with people's Uh you know when? 968 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,960 Speaker 1: How did you find out? So? Probably about three years ago. 969 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:29,839 Speaker 1: My husband's aunt actually did the um genie uh test, Yes, 970 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,279 Speaker 1: thank you. Turns out he's not my dad. So who 971 00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:37,359 Speaker 1: is your dad? Who? Yeah? Well I just met him. 972 00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,520 Speaker 1: So oh my god. I feel like that's an identity 973 00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,799 Speaker 1: if you want, if someone wants that one. Um, that's so, 974 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,279 Speaker 1: what do you tell? What do you do about it? Now? 975 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,759 Speaker 1: Are you gonna get it removed? Or it's just a 976 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:49,960 Speaker 1: good story. I guess I think that's actually better than 977 00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,480 Speaker 1: just my dad died. It is just a good story. 978 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,200 Speaker 1: And were you so excited like when, because it's sad 979 00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,839 Speaker 1: when your dad dies, but then when you find out 980 00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,839 Speaker 1: he wasn't your dad, or you're just like all right, well, 981 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 1: I guess I'm not that sad anymore. Basically, was he 982 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,680 Speaker 1: a good guy? I guess so. Well, you you put 983 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,520 Speaker 1: his you put his name on your back. Yeah, why 984 00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,080 Speaker 1: did you do that if you didn't know him? Well, 985 00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:12,399 Speaker 1: so he passed away before I was born. My mom 986 00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,000 Speaker 1: was pregnant with me before I was born. Oh, you 987 00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,879 Speaker 1: cute thing. Oh my god, I love it. I also 988 00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,920 Speaker 1: thought that you everyone here has braces. I'm not joking. 989 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 1: You either in visiline or braces. This is how are 990 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,080 Speaker 1: adult braces going for you? And you're the real ones? 991 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:34,120 Speaker 1: You have clear wire six months away from getting a mop. 992 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:38,359 Speaker 1: So girl, Oh my god, I'm a little You're so 993 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,719 Speaker 1: cute of him. Will you find your real dad's Oh 994 00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,000 Speaker 1: you already found him? Yes, I hope he doesn't. He 995 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,600 Speaker 1: never dies, even though you know we're all mortal. Okay, 996 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:50,920 Speaker 1: thank you, We are going to do two more. And 997 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:54,759 Speaker 1: then were sorry I implore you if tonight, if you 998 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,240 Speaker 1: want to come to my show at eight o'clock, please 999 00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:01,440 Speaker 1: come to that. Also, I'll be doing like if you 1000 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:03,080 Speaker 1: If you're I know you're gonna be all drunk and 1001 00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,319 Speaker 1: very tired at the end of the day. But um, 1002 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:09,719 Speaker 1: at ten o'clock. At ten o'clock, uh, there ish a 1003 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,080 Speaker 1: goddamn comedy jam on the beach and on the stage 1004 00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,600 Speaker 1: there if it's not raining, and that is such a 1005 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,800 Speaker 1: fun show. You can just dance and like we're gonna 1006 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:20,280 Speaker 1: watch us sing and I'm gonna be singing a Taylor 1007 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:21,640 Speaker 1: Swift songs. So I hope you can come to that, 1008 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,680 Speaker 1: which is definitely the tattoo I would get, Hey girl, 1009 00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,240 Speaker 1: what what um? What tattoo do you hate about that 1010 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,760 Speaker 1: you have? I don't think anyone can beat that's not 1011 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,439 Speaker 1: my dad tattoo. Honestly, that's has to be the worst 1012 00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:36,480 Speaker 1: tattoo in history. But I had someone try out a 1013 00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,640 Speaker 1: color on me at one point, and so they just 1014 00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,400 Speaker 1: did whatever they wanted and they did this. But I 1015 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,280 Speaker 1: also could say that I also have a butt or 1016 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:47,520 Speaker 1: fly you have on your ass. I love it. That's 1017 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,840 Speaker 1: cute and that's fun. But why would you let someone 1018 00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:54,760 Speaker 1: try out a color on you? Why not? I think 1019 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:58,040 Speaker 1: you also had an absent father. If I'm just kidding, 1020 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,000 Speaker 1: you may not. Actually no, he's very much around. But 1021 00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:06,520 Speaker 1: his name is Lanman. That's oh yeah, that's I'd rather 1022 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:09,680 Speaker 1: have a cactus with sunglasses than that name on me. Okay, uh, well, 1023 00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:12,680 Speaker 1: thank you so much. That's yeah, that's actually terrible. By girl. 1024 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,720 Speaker 1: You have a little sun tanlition on your ass crack, 1025 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,400 Speaker 1: But it's all good. You got a great butt. Hello, 1026 00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:21,360 Speaker 1: what's up? Why do you have a nose mask? What's 1027 00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:25,640 Speaker 1: your name? Sir? J C? J j C from Canada? 1028 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,800 Speaker 1: J C from Canada? Oh my god, everyone loves jac 1029 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,040 Speaker 1: from Canada. First of all, how long have you been 1030 00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,000 Speaker 1: in can you are so red? How long have you 1031 00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,200 Speaker 1: been here? No, dude, this is a Canadian tan. But 1032 00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:42,520 Speaker 1: my bad, but my bed I apologize. I I didn't 1033 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:46,400 Speaker 1: realize any all right, Okay, what's your terrible tattoo? Okay, 1034 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,920 Speaker 1: so Nikki, we that's my daughter there. We once had 1035 00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,280 Speaker 1: a dog that we love this dog so much, and 1036 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,040 Speaker 1: the dog passed away a few years ago, and I 1037 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,320 Speaker 1: never wanted to forget the dogs, so I wanted to 1038 00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,440 Speaker 1: get a tattoo to help me remember the dog for 1039 00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,200 Speaker 1: the rest of my life, because your memory is definitely 1040 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,480 Speaker 1: not gonna stick around that long. So so I go 1041 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:06,960 Speaker 1: to the place I don't know what I want, so 1042 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,360 Speaker 1: I get a dog bone, because you know, dogs your 1043 00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,240 Speaker 1: dog bones, and I get a dogbone tattooed on my legs. 1044 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,160 Speaker 1: So a few weeks later, I'm in the hockey dressing 1045 00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:19,120 Speaker 1: room and the guy says to me, j C. Why 1046 00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,960 Speaker 1: do you have a cock and balls tattooed on your leg? 1047 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,240 Speaker 1: You guys, it is a dog bone, but if you 1048 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,120 Speaker 1: cover one of the ends, it looks like a penis. 1049 00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,000 Speaker 1: Oh my god, and your dog used to lick yours, 1050 00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,840 Speaker 1: so that does remind you of him. Anyway, I missed 1051 00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:38,080 Speaker 1: that part, was there ball looking there? Don't worry about it, 1052 00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:41,880 Speaker 1: It's just true. Um, thank you so much. Thank you. 1053 00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:43,800 Speaker 1: You put a little maple syrup on there. The dog 1054 00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:49,040 Speaker 1: all right? We can't get to you guys. Thank you. 1055 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,840 Speaker 1: I'm want to see your terrible do this later on. UM, 1056 00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:57,160 Speaker 1: thank you so much to everyone who is you. Final thought, 1057 00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:01,760 Speaker 1: this was incredible. It was as as bad and good 1058 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:03,960 Speaker 1: as I thought it would be. You guys are chaotic. 1059 01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. Have so much 1060 01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,560 Speaker 1: fun on this vacation. You deserve it and don't be 1061 01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:17,320 Speaker 1: caught and jack off on their kits. Thank you, I'm 1062 01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:24,360 Speaker 1: y out, I got spray tan and chair. I apologize 1063 01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,360 Speaker 1: to the resort for the spray tan I'm leaving behind.