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Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to George Nori with you. Lindsey Stanton with Us.

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Speaker 2: An author, her book is called The Enduring and Everlasting

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Speaker 2: and she's also a connectionist. She is a certified coach

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Speaker 2: as well as a Reiki master. Lindsey helps others grow

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Speaker 2: their connection with the other side to assist in their

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Speaker 2: daily lives. Lindsay, welcome to the show. First time for you,

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Speaker 2: isn't it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 2: Looking forward to this. Is it safe to assume that

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Speaker 2: most people have experienced grief?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Absolutely.

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Speaker 4: I think in our society, whether it's physical loss or

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Speaker 4: the loss of something you envisioned to be that just

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Speaker 4: didn't come to fruish.

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Speaker 3: I think we've all experienced some type of loss.

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Speaker 2: And some of us can handle it better than others.

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Speaker 4: Right, that's true, and some of us have the tools

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Speaker 4: to handle it better than others.

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Speaker 2: There's a saying when people have overwhelmed or baffled, they

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Speaker 2: go good grief. Why do they say that? What's so

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Speaker 2: good about grief?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 4: I think that grief and trauma actually can take us

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Speaker 4: to a new place in growth and expansion of our soul.

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Speaker 4: I do believe that when we go through hard things,

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Speaker 4: whether it's grief, trauma, or both, that there is a

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Speaker 4: purpose to it and it does help us grow, expand

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Speaker 4: and recognize more deeply what's available to us beyond this

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Speaker 4: material world.

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Speaker 2: Did you go through grief yourself? Yes, what happened?

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Speaker 4: So in twenty twenty, my husband was diagnosed with ALS

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Speaker 4: and it was very fast moving and within a year

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Speaker 4: of diagnosis he passed. He was in hospice for a

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Speaker 4: while before he passed, and so that was huge in

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Speaker 4: and of itself. That was life changing for me. And

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Speaker 4: then seven months to the day after his passing, my

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Speaker 4: closest female friend passed unexpectedly as well. And there is

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Speaker 4: a uniqueness to when we experience grief in multitudes like that,

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Speaker 4: it definitely impacts our ability to process even the initial

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Speaker 4: grief and oftentimes the secondary grief. We have to our

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Speaker 4: physical bodies and our minds actually protect us, and so

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Speaker 4: we kind of have to deal with.

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Speaker 3: Them in layers.

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Speaker 4: And so those listening, if you've received multiple levels of

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Speaker 4: grief over the years, you might notice that you have

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Speaker 4: a delayed response, especially to those like secondary or even

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Speaker 4: you know when you're receiving like third fourth times. Because

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Speaker 4: I know I work with clients who have had a

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Speaker 4: lot of different losses in their life, it takes us

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Speaker 4: a little it takes us longer to process, and grief

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Speaker 4: never goes It's always with us, whether you know it's

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Speaker 4: super heavy, or it's you know, not as heavy, or

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Speaker 4: sometimes it comes in waves. But the one thing I

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Speaker 4: think is a bit of a misnomer of our society

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Speaker 4: is that there's like some magic pill or that grief

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Speaker 4: goes away, or there's some time limit to grief.

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Speaker 3: I wish that we were more.

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Speaker 4: Having a conversation as a culture that that's not even

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Speaker 4: the expectation we should put on people. Their lives are

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Speaker 4: now forever changed, especially if they lost somebody who impacts

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Speaker 4: their daily life. And I think once we can normalize that,

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Speaker 4: it helps eliminate a lot of the overwhelm that people

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Speaker 4: can have. Is a grief experience with that kind of

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Speaker 4: layers on and makes grief even tougher.

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Speaker 2: I've lost a father, a sister, and a couple of

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Speaker 2: dear friends over the past several years, and I found

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Speaker 2: the lindsay that the grief hits when you dwell on it.

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Speaker 2: But when you keep busy with other activities, whether it's

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Speaker 2: your job and your other family and things like that,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't seem to hit you as hard. What do

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Speaker 2: you think of that?

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Speaker 3: I think that that can be good and bad.

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Speaker 4: I think that sometimes we can distract ourselves and not

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Speaker 4: go through the natural cycles that our body's meant to,

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Speaker 4: and then it can release in really big ways. The

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Speaker 4: more we can kind of allow those natural cycles, like

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Speaker 4: it is completely normal to cry.

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Speaker 3: Our bodies actually set up to.

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Speaker 4: Allow emotion to flow for ninety seconds and then then

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Speaker 4: it's done, Like then it's processed that emotion. But if

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Speaker 4: we repress it in the moment, then that's when we

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Speaker 4: can have like really big reactions to things, whether it's anger, crying,

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Speaker 4: just kind of more intense.

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Speaker 3: Reactions to things.

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Speaker 4: And so if we can allow those more natural flow

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Speaker 4: of emotion, those ninety second flows of emotion and cry,

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Speaker 4: even when it it might not be that convenient to

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Speaker 4: be crying, it actually helps us heal and process a

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Speaker 4: lot more effectively than if we repress or distract ourselves

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Speaker 4: too much. I hear you, because I think there is

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Speaker 4: value in some distraction and some you know, just keeping

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Speaker 4: yourself busy, especially early days when you just are what

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Speaker 4: I would describe as like in that zombie phase. But

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Speaker 4: I think that there's a time and place for busyness,

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Speaker 4: and then there's also a time and place for going

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Speaker 4: within and listening to what your body is telling you

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Speaker 4: and allowing that to kind of naturally occur.

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Speaker 3: If that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it does. But it's not easy.

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Speaker 3: It is not easy, and being a human is not easy.

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Speaker 2: How did als finally take your husband?

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Speaker 4: Well, if you are familiar with the disease at all,

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Speaker 4: if anybody listening is familiar, So it is basically, it

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Speaker 4: causes the muscles to deteriorate, and ultimately it goes to

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Speaker 4: your lungs and starts to deteriorate your lungs, so it

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Speaker 4: impacts your breathing and actually your even your digestion. So

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Speaker 4: it gets to the point where you have to be

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Speaker 4: on you know, breathing device, you have to have a

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Speaker 4: feeding tube. And he was extremely proud, extremely athletic, and

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Speaker 4: that was not for him, and so that was ultimately

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Speaker 4: what made him make the decision to go into hospice.

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Speaker 2: That's what they call it is, yes, and it hit

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Speaker 2: him quickly.

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Speaker 4: Yes, very by the time, so I think because he

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Speaker 4: was so athletic, he his body hid it very well

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Speaker 4: and by the time he got diagnosed, which anybody who's

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Speaker 4: been through it, the ALUs journey is a challenging one,

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Speaker 4: not just when your person has it full blown, but

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Speaker 4: also when you're in those days of trying to get diagnosed.

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Speaker 4: There's no real specific tests just for ail us, so

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Speaker 4: it's more of an art of ruling everything else out,

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Speaker 4: so it can take some time. And it took about

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Speaker 4: a year for us to get a diagnosis, and then

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Speaker 4: about a year after the diagnosis is when he passed.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry you had to go through that.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I now understand it was part of my soul's journey,

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Speaker 4: but thank you. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 2: Can loved ones visit us in dreams?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, Our dreams are actually the easiest pathway because our

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Speaker 4: egoic mind, with all of the distracting thoughts that we

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Speaker 4: get hit with throughout the day, is offline when we're sleeping,

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Speaker 4: and so we're much easier to reach.

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Speaker 2: Interesting take now, have you had dreams of your husband?

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Speaker 4: I have had so many dream visits with my husband

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Speaker 4: over so he passed four years ago. Now a little

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Speaker 4: over four years ago now, and I would say it's

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Speaker 4: unusual for me to go two weeks and not have

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Speaker 4: a visit from him.

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Speaker 2: Does it comfort you very much? Had you not had

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Speaker 2: the dreams, how would you react?

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Speaker 3: I think it would be a lot more difficult.

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Speaker 4: And it's not even just the dreams, but all the

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Speaker 4: signs and communication I've received from him, even beyond just

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Speaker 4: dream visits. It there is a complete shift in your

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Speaker 4: grief when you realize that there's not a permanence to

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Speaker 4: your lack of ability to connect with the person.

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Speaker 3: They're still available to us.

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Speaker 4: I believe, and I've experienced that we are all energy

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Speaker 4: and that energy never dies, and so because of that,

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Speaker 4: it allows us to shift our thinking and realize that

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Speaker 4: the person's not gone, They're just available to us in

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Speaker 4: a different way.

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Speaker 2: By connecting with the other side. Does that minimize grief?

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Speaker 3: I believe it does.

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Speaker 2: Is that a technique you teach it?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely is.

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Speaker 4: I help my clients to understand that they don't have

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Speaker 4: to be psychic or mediums to be able to do

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Speaker 4: this on their own.

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Speaker 3: This is available to all of us. It's just.

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Speaker 4: Knowing how to interpret the signs, and they don't. I

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Speaker 4: mean Ultimately, my purpose is to help them fish for themselves.

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Speaker 4: As they say, I'm just their guide to help them

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Speaker 4: understand what they're already getting. It's kind of funny because

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Speaker 4: people will come to me and they'll say, like, Oh,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, you know, if I'm getting a lot

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Speaker 4: of signs, or I don't know if I'm getting a

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Speaker 4: lot of dream visits. And then we start working together

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Speaker 4: and we start having the conversations and they start realizing

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Speaker 4: all the things that they're already getting, and so much

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Speaker 4: of it it's about helping them tap into trust and recognition.

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Speaker 2: Do the signs come to us from the departed or

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Speaker 2: what makes that happen?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, so we get signs from our loved ones. On

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Speaker 4: the other side, we also, once we make ourselves available

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Speaker 4: to receive, we can get signs and information from the

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Speaker 4: angelic realm. I'm careful about what wording I use because

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Speaker 4: I know different wording resonates with different people. But you

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Speaker 4: can tap into the energy of God Source. You can

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Speaker 4: get messages from God and Source, and especially I think

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Speaker 4: if you've been through deep grief and trauma, those messages

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Speaker 4: can be really really important to keeping you planted here

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Speaker 4: and helping you understand your purpose here, which often makes

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Speaker 4: us want to stay because let's be real, with grief,

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Speaker 4: we can definitely slip into suicidal ideation, and so having

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Speaker 4: those connections to the spirit realm can really help us

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Speaker 4: not only heal, but help us be more grounded in

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Speaker 4: our purpose here on earth.

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Speaker 2: Does grief affect us in different ways based on the

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Speaker 2: person who died? For example, like I mentioned my father

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Speaker 2: and my sister and then my friends, and I really think,

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Speaker 2: lindsay that if something would happen to my children, it

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Speaker 2: would it would destroy me even harder. Does the Does

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Speaker 2: the person matter?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 4: And I think you know the people that impact our

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Speaker 4: every day and actually not even just people, but animals

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Speaker 4: as well, So the people that you're interacting with every

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Speaker 4: single day, I think that brings another nuance to the

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Speaker 4: grief that you know, maybe distant relatives like you know, aunts, uncles,

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Speaker 4: grandparents that you don't connect with us frequently. Now for

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Speaker 4: different people, those relationships can look different. So you know,

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Speaker 4: if you're talking to an aunt or grandparent every single day,

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Speaker 4: that can have a tremendous impact. It is very much,

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Speaker 4: I would say, and I think that's the part of

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Speaker 4: the challenge with our culture is there's no cookie cutter

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Speaker 4: answer with what is going to happen.

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Speaker 3: When you're grieving.

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Speaker 4: You can't prepare for grief as much as people might

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Speaker 4: try to, and there's no cookie cut or answer with

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Speaker 4: what you should do. But it's learning and tapping into

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Speaker 4: what your body is telling you because our bodies hold

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Speaker 4: so much information and actually our bodies can hold the

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Speaker 4: information that helps us be a conduit to receive those

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Speaker 4: messages from the other side. But you're absolutely right. I mean,

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Speaker 4: I'm in community. I'm in a phenomenal group that I

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Speaker 4: would highly recommend for anybody dealing with grief called the

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Speaker 4: Forever Family Foundation. They're a nonprofit. They're absolutely beautiful. They

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Speaker 4: put on retreats for those grieving. And one of the

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Speaker 4: things I think really helps people in grief is being

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Speaker 4: with being with other people who understand you, not having

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Speaker 4: to explain what you're going through, but being with a

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Speaker 4: community of people that understand you.

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Speaker 3: So whether it's going to retreat.

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Speaker 4: Or being in you know, an online community, that is

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Speaker 4: like such a game changer in processing and being feeling

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Speaker 4: supported and feeling like you're in a safe space because

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Speaker 4: sometimes people that haven't been through grief, just don't even

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Speaker 4: know what to say to you in most cases.

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Speaker 2: Why does time heal grief?

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure. I feel that it does not on

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Speaker 4: its own, at least. I mean, I think there's a

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Speaker 4: change in grief as time goes by. But I think

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Speaker 4: it does really require us to do some work in

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Speaker 4: order to have time help us heal. I think ignoring

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Speaker 4: it is not the answer, but in conjunction with doing

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Speaker 4: some you know, using tools, using modalities that help you heal.

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Speaker 4: I think time can shift the way that grief looks

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Speaker 4: for you. I think that we need to normalize the

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Speaker 4: expectation that you might forever have, you know, times where

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Speaker 4: you break down. You might You're always going to have

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Speaker 4: times where you wish that person was there, you know,

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Speaker 4: like whether if your father passed and it's your wedding

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Speaker 4: day and they're not there, like you expect to have

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Speaker 4: grief over that. I mean, so for some people, certain

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Speaker 4: holidays are deep triggers. We're always going to have that,

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Speaker 4: and I think normalizing that helps people feel less alone.

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Speaker 2: Every time you hear a certain song, I think of

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Speaker 2: one of my buddies that passed away. Now, I've always

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Speaker 2: wondered lindsay, if he's the one sending me the song

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Speaker 2: or whether it just as a fluke it pops up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I would say tune into when you're noticing

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Speaker 4: that song, because my deep intuitive guess is that you

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Speaker 4: are getting a sign. And oftentimes when we tune into

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Speaker 4: when we're getting those you know, messages and songs are

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Speaker 4: a great one. That's a perfect example because the technology

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Speaker 4: is an easy energy for them to manipulate. So that's

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Speaker 4: why you see oftentimes like signs might be animals that fly,

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Speaker 4: whether it's birds, insects, butterflies, dragonflies, those are easy to

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Speaker 4: manipulate as well as electronic waves, so songs electric like

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Speaker 4: your phone, your TV, those are things that are easier

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Speaker 4: for them to use.

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Speaker 3: To send us signs.

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Speaker 4: But pay attention and tap in, and I would invite

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Speaker 4: your listeners to do this as well.

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Speaker 3: Tune into when you're getting that.

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Speaker 4: So if it's before a big life event, a decision

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Speaker 4: that you're making, or if it's you know, you just

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Speaker 4: got done thinking of the person, or there's an anniversary

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Speaker 4: or birthday coming up, then you'd like and trust your

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Speaker 4: body's reactions. So for me personally, I noticed early on when.

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Speaker 3: I was getting signs.

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Speaker 4: I would have like a chill sensation and like goosebumps

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Speaker 4: across my body at the same time as the sign

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Speaker 4: came through, and that was just validation for me. That

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Speaker 4: was that was a sign from Roger and my husband.

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Speaker 2: Is it normal not to grieve over the loss of somebody.

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Speaker 4: Yes, And I think we just need to normalize that

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Speaker 4: everybody has reactions to grief differently.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great point, great question. You might not

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Speaker 3: have a huge reaction.

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Speaker 4: And again it goes back to that if they weren't

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Speaker 4: influential and part of the fabric of your day to

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Speaker 4: day life, you might not find yourself in deep sadness.

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Speaker 4: And we don't need to feel bad about not feeling

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Speaker 4: a certain type of way, whether it's being overwhelmed by

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Speaker 4: grief or not, you know, not experiencing deep sadness at all.

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Speaker 4: Grief is unique, it's our fingerprint, it is It is

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Speaker 4: definitely unique, and we need to normalize that it is

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Speaker 4: going to look different for everyone, and that is okay.

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Speaker 2: Dreams seemed to be an important fashion in what you do.

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Speaker 2: How come.

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Speaker 4: I think just because it's the path of least resistance,

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Speaker 4: we can we get so overwhelmed by so many distractions

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Speaker 4: in this physical world, so dreams are just a very

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Speaker 4: easy pathway. And also because we're so limited in the

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Speaker 4: in this dimension, if you will, and our five senses

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Speaker 4: as humans, the spirit realm has available to it like

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Speaker 4: unlimited ways of communicating, and you know, like telepath that

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Speaker 4: communication is going to happen during dream visits, it also

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Speaker 4: will happen during the waking life. So when we get

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Speaker 4: dream visits, there are so many hidden messages symbolized messages

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Speaker 4: within those dreams that I oftentimes help clients unpack because

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Speaker 4: not only do they often relate to messages that their

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Speaker 4: loved ones are trying to send them, but it also

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Speaker 4: goes to their what I would call their why. So

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Speaker 4: we go through grief and trauma, and as hard as

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Speaker 4: it is to think that there's a reason behind it,

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Speaker 4: there is a reason behind it. And oftentimes what I'm

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Speaker 4: working with clients, I'm doing is not only helping them connect,

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Speaker 4: but understanding the why, because that shifts their grief immensely

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Speaker 4: as well, because now they understand that there's a purpose

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Speaker 4: behind it, and many times they might actually end up

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Speaker 4: being healers. And that's why they've had to go on

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Speaker 4: this journey because we can't authentically help other people who

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Speaker 4: are suffering if we haven't been through it ourselves. And

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Speaker 4: so oftentimes those keys to how they're meant to help

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Speaker 4: others heal lie within the messages that they're getting in

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Speaker 4: their dreams.

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Speaker 1: Listen to more Coast to Coast AM every weeknight at

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