WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Macramé Flames, by Eric Raglin 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:10.200 Cool Zone Media, the Club, the Club, the Club. Hello, 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:12.760 welcome to Coolzone Media book Club, the only book club. 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:14.400 Or you don't have to do the reading because I 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:18.320 do it for you, or should I say welcome back? 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:21.840 Because today we're going back to doing short stories. I 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.680 know y'all listened very patiently through Dawn of the Frogs, 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:27.880 and I know you all really like it when Trent 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:33.440 throw bomb. But don't worry. We've got schemes and dreams 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:36.840 for more ttprpgs here at cools on Media. But we're 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.680 back to doing short stories on Cool Zone Media book Club. 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.000 And if you knew here or you just don't remember, 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:44.320 I'm your host, Margaret Kildren, And every week I read 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:47.519 you a story that I like. Sometimes the stories are chaotic, 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.640 sometimes they're cozy, and usually they made me feel something, 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.599 and occasionally they're bad enough to be funny. But most 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:55.480 weeks I pick stories that are just fun to read 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.320 and fun to listen to, and I hope that you 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.720 have fun too. And this week we have a fun 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:05.880 fucking story. This is a romp. It is a who Nanny, 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.880 That's what this story is. Because this week we're reading 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:12.760 you Macromay Flames, which is a twenty twenty two story 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:16.399 by the author Eric Roglan. It's from an anthology called 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.679 The Book of Queer Saints, which was edited by May Murray. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.400 And this story rules because stories about gay people doing 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:26.480 cult shit rule. But it also rules because of just 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:29.160 how many rich details there are, like how they all 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:32.119 use signal the app when they're doing their texting for crime, 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.319 or how they all have knuckle tattoos. And if you 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:37.480 feel like it, you should listen in for how Eric 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:41.840 contrasts the familiar and the fantastical in this piece. All right, 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:47.080 you all ready? Are you ready? For Macromay Flames by 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:52.480 Eric Roglin. How Thorpe went from being a member of 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.400 the Nightmare Queer's motorcycle gang to a suburbanite with a 0:01:55.440 --> 0:02:00.880 respectable carpentry business is beyond me. When we were committing 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.960 arson once or twice a week, he always threw the 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:08.679 first Molotov, and boy did his eagerness for destruction win 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:13.280 my heart. After one arson in Cincinnati, we fled the scene, 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.080 climbed to a nearby rooftop, and went to town on 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:19.600 each other while the hobby bobby below burned one of 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:23.200 six hobby bobbies we'd torched that month alone, watching the 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:27.120 cops scramble to find us and fail only furthered our pleasure. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:32.640 They're dumb as shit, Thorpe groaned, is gimly beard buried 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:37.800 in my ass? Thanks Satan for that. After a couple sweaty, 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:42.000 sexy hours, we fell asleep on the rooftop reckless, I know, 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.280 but waking up to a sunrise hazy with craft supply 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:49.280 smoke was magical. Shivering in our leather jackets, we held 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:53.240 each other and shared a cigarette. Perfect beauty and calm 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:56.440 enveloped us. I would have loved for the moment to 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.799 last forever, but you rarely get to savor things when 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:04.519 you're wanted. In seventeen states, before the morning rush hour, 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:07.600 we were off to the next hobby bobby, not another 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:10.600 in Ohio. We weren't stupid, but won a few hundred 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:15.320 miles off the stores growing fewer and farther between. Gang 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:18.960 leader Ripley greeted our arrival with eyes narrowed and tattooed, 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.200 arms crossed. She gave us shit for spending the night 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.080 so close to the crime scene, but I didn't care, 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.520 and from the way she smirked, it seemed neither did she. 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:34.360 It was impossible to resent such a goddamn cute couple. Still, 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.720 there were limits to our love. When the gang broke 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.560 up five years back, I refused to settle in the 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:45.400 suburbs with Thorpe among the golfers, hoa shitheads, and quiverful 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:49.680 families next door. Loaded with cash from years of robberies 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:54.080 and inexplicably good financial planning. Thorpe sought stability after his 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:58.040 homeless teenage years and his on the run twenties. My 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:02.200 wanderlust hadn't been satisfied, though. I left to bike around 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:05.440 the country alone, doing odd jobs and keeping a low profile. 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:09.200 But it wasn't the same without him, Even in the 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.160 company of other men at truck stops and campsites and 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:16.960 bathhouses and porta potties. I thought of Thorpe constantly. I 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:19.800 often flipped through pictures I'd taken on the road and 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.920 imagined he was in them, standing among yellowstone bison with 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:28.760 casual fearlessness, slamming back rotgut shots in a San Francisco 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.839 gay bar, and gazing at the stars through a tense 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:37.640 mesh roof the two of us together, inseparable. It was 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:41.400 only after the gang realized or satanic work wasn't done that. 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:45.120 I saw him again, like a heist movie. He came 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.719 out of retirement for one last job. Maybe because he 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.640 remembered what made us so good together, or maybe because 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:55.440 Suburbia bored him. Guess I'll never know. I missed my 0:04:55.520 --> 0:05:00.320 chance to ask. Ripley's prophecy promised literal hell on earth 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.920 after we burned down six hundred and sixty six hobby bobbies, 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:08.240 but somehow we fucked up the count. It's true what 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:12.560 they say about queers in math. Ripley's partner Xena miscounted, 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.920 so we thought our work was done, which meant hell 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:18.080 didn't come to Earth, causing Ripley's prophecy to lose credibility 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:21.719 and the gang to split up. Kind of funny in retrospect. 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.320 I stayed gang loyal longer than Thorpe and most of 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:29.120 the others, but at some point it got awkward. It 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:32.240 was only Ripley and Zena plus me third wheeling it, 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:35.120 and you know how a biker feels about anything with 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:40.280 more than two wheels. I bounced thing is Zena did 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:44.719 an Arson recount five years later? Why you're wondering for 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:49.120 her goddamn scrapbook? Every Hobby Bobby Arson news Clipping got 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.839 its own page, and when she glued the final article 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:56.640 the page six hundred and sixty five, she must have thought, huh, 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:01.800 I'd done fucked up. Sure did Warrior Prince. After that, 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.560 Ripley informed the gang of the situation through an encryptied 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:08.200 group text, though there were fewer of us now. Knox 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.760 had died in a knife fight with some sturgist Nazis, 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:14.000 Kimp had died in a knife fight with herself, and 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.600 Dozer had fucked off to DJ at a queer nightclub 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:21.200 in Berlin. Those who remained, minus a stubbornly silent Thorpe, 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.280 hopped on a video conference call like real corporate ghouls, 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.200 but instead of suits and ties, we each had faced 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:32.960 hats and septum piercings and crooked scheming smiles. We shot 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:36.400 the shit and plotted for hours. I left the call 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:41.240 fucking buzzing, thinking if everything went smoothly, how really would 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.200 come to earth? It be a twenty four to seven 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:47.880 paradise for queers and anarchists and the best sorts of criminals. 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:52.039 Hobby Bobby still hadn't recovered from the nightmare Queer's campaign 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:55.000 of terror, but they dared to open one new location 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:59.479 in Omaha, Nebraska. The corporation had waited a good three 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.680 years after our spree ended to build it, and there 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:06.200 it had stood ever since, with a store sign glowing 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:12.240 orange like a beacon for crafty evangelist assholes. Ripley and 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.360 Zena scouted the place ahead of time. There was a 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:19.520 security camera at the store's southeast corner and a blind 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:22.920 spot on the northeast side of the parking lot. We'd 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:26.400 taken on much harder jobs, so this one should have 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:29.600 been cake, right, And you know what else is a 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:34.800 piece of cake to you know who else glows orange 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:39.640 with craft supplies and prophecy destruction. Not any of our sponsors, 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:45.600 that's for sure. Nope, they are completely without the orange 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:49.880 glow of prophecy destruction. That's our promise here at cool 0:07:49.920 --> 0:08:10.280 Zone Media. Here's our sponsors, and we're back. The morning 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:14.880 before our final arson, after too many unreturned voicemails, I 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:19.400 drove to Thorpe's suburban hellscape to plead my case. His 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:23.360 lawn was perfect, and by perfect, I mean perfectly fucking boring, 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:28.560 mowed and watered and monoculture as hell. A wooden welcome 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:31.760 sign hung from the door. It looked like one you'd 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:35.040 find it at Hobby Bobby, But as I found out 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:38.840 later that day, he'd made it himself. Arsonist, ass eater 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:43.760 and carpenter. Thorpe was a triple threat. When I knocked, 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.160 he answered with a shaved face and his shirt tucked 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:50.880 into his pants. The shirt thing threw me off. What 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.800 kind of person tucked their shirt in while lazing around 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:58.440 at home didn't seem like the Thorpe I'd known. Still, 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:00.640 he was willing to hear me out on this one 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.360 last job, and I was willing to open my heart 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:09.199 again carefully, like opening a door during a hailstorm. How 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.920 do you feel about fucking up one last craft store? 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:15.440 I asked, going in for a kiss, Thorpe lurched back 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:20.360 and whispered, not so loud. Come on. Whether he was 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.280 afraid of getting busted for criminal activity or getting outed 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.200 as a homo in Trump Country, I couldn't tell, but 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:29.280 I followed him inside. He shut the door, then gave 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.280 me a quick peck on the corner of my mouth, 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:35.920 a totally unromantic reunion kiss. But it had also been 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:39.440 five fucking years of radio silence, so who could blame him. 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.400 Thorpe had a black pleath sectional couch without a single 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:48.200 cracked cushion, a big ass TV covering half the wall, 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:53.640 and a spinning rack of home improvement magazines. Nice house, 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.440 I said, through a grimace, Please say you've got an 0:09:56.480 --> 0:10:01.400 altar room somewhere, a little satan in the suburbs. I 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:05.120 don't worship much of anything these days, Thorpe said, scratching 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.600 his shaved neck. Not even a shadow of stubble remained. 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.800 Maybe that'll change tonight. I said, We've got the count 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:17.240 right this time, so big things could happen. Thorpe nodded 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.559 and gave a polite Midwestern smile, but I didn't make 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:24.480 eye contact. Silence took cold, filled by the soft hum 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:28.480 of air conditioning. Not even a window unit. This was 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:34.160 bouge ass central cooling. Listen, I know this is awkward 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.559 and you don't really want to deal with gang shit anymore, 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:40.679 but I cleared my throat. Do you at least want 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:45.480 to have sex for old time's sake? Sure? He said 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:50.199 that would be nice. A good cum broke the ice. 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:53.880 Thorpe and I laid in his temper pedic bed. Could 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.040 have gotten used to that bed holy shit. Cuddling naked 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.280 and drinking whiskey and catching up on a half a 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:02.760 decade of long He braided my hair just like he 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.840 used to, which made me cry a few boozy tears. 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:10.280 When I stopped crying, it was his turn. I hate 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.960 myself most of the time, he sniffled. I needed safety 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:19.079 and security, and I sold out for it. This life's comfortable, 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.760 and it's nice, and it's so goddamn boring. The neighborhood 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.600 dads invited me to join an Eagles cover band, the 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:32.120 Eagles for Satan's sake, Satan, you say? He smiled, then 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:35.040 kissed me. It was wet and tonguey and way fucking 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:38.520 hotter than are kiss At the door, pulling away, he asked, 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.200 do you hate me? I almost laughed at the audacity 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:46.240 of that question. Thorpe. You have to understand, I said, 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.920 two years back, I biked through this town that had 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.480 a custom body pillow shop, no lie, and I seriously 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.000 fucking considered getting one printed with a picture of you. 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.920 I was pathetic and lonely and totally head over heels 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.920 for this bitch right in in front of me. So no, 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.520 I can never hate you. Thorpe smiled, lasted only a 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.280 moment before he sobbed into my armpit and whispered thank you, 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.560 I love you, over and over and over. I cradled 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.600 his head and inhaled him. He was already starting to 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.679 smell more like the man I remembered. Maybe there'd be 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.480 a future for us after all. I wondered if I 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.080 could persuade him to burn down this house but not 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:29.400 the bed, and collect the insurance money, we'd ride off 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.560 together and enjoy a lifelong road trip through hell on Earth. 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.720 But I was getting ahead of myself. I'd wait to 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:40.080 ask until after the hobby Bobby burned. Thorpe and I 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:44.080 pulled into Omaha late, just like the old times. He 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:47.040 hadn't ridden as Kawasaki in ages, so we had to 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.880 do some last minute maintenance. I felt like a dad 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.160 yelling at his son to hurry up and get dressed 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:55.960 for church. Your mom's already in the goddamn car, still 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.840 with a little extra speed on the interstate, and void. 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.640 Did that feel good? We arrived just ten minutes past midnight. 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:07.680 Seven other Nightmare queers were already there, quietly chatting and 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.079 smoking under an awning. They waved at us and whisper, 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:16.839 shouted and enthusiastic greeting. Standing aways off, Ripley glared when 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.240 we pulled into the dark corner of the parking lot, 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:22.480 but she grinned at the sight of Thorpe's shaved face. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:27.040 I've seen twinks become bears, but never the other way around, 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.960 she said, hugging him tight. Good to have you back. 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.320 Glad to be back, Thorpe said, but his voice trembled. 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.400 Maybe he'd been a suburbanite for so long that returning 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.560 to crime scared him. Light years distant as he was 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.680 from his roots and values. I nudged his ribs and whispered, 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:49.040 It's going to be great. He gave a brief, lippy smile. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.640 Before I could give further reassurance, Ripley pushed a Molotov 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:56.520 into my hands. Still got a good throwing arm, she asked. 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.480 Hard to miss a fifty thousand square foot building, I said. 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:05.160 Thorpe snorted and looked down. He kicked over someone's discarded 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.360 monster energy can and washed its remnants pool at his feet. 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:13.120 Ripley approached him with a second molotov. You spilled my drink, 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:17.400 she said. Thorpe's head snapped up and his eyes went wide. 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.480 Fucking with you, man, I don't drink that shit, Ripley said. 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.560 She rested a hand on Thorpe's leather jacket, which he 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:31.160 probably hadn't worn in years. You okay, Thorpe nodded. Yeah, 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:35.040 I really missed everyone. Things haven't been easy, and I'm 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:39.480 sorry I haven't been around. I really should have no 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:42.480 reason to apologize. The past is the past and the 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.680 future is hell on earth. Let's torch this craft store 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:50.160 and grab a fucking beer, just like you can torch 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:53.000 a U log. There we go. That's one thing I 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.680 can say. You can torch on air. Go torch a 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.160 yule log and grab yourself a fucking beer. You filed 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:13.600 the animal unrelated anything at all. Here's ads and we're back. 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.600 Thorpe puffed his cheeks out, then hopped up and down 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:26.240 like an antsy gay football player on the sidelines. Ripley's 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.920 pep talk reminded me of why we'd followed her for 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.720 so many years, and I was grateful she could inspire 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.720 Thorpe in ways I couldn't. Ripley called to the others, 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.960 finish your smokes and come here. Don't want cops arriving 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:42.080 before we get this party started. Everyone walked over, hugged 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.440 me in. Thorpe then huddled around Ripley. The gang looked 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.240 different after five years away. Zena had gray hair, Murk 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:53.240 had daddy knuckle pats, and Corsica had a half sagging 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.920 face from her stroke. Despite the changes, it still felt 0:15:56.920 --> 0:16:02.120 like old times. I couldn't stop smiling. After the building burns, 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:06.080 the ground will start shaking. Don't panic, Ripley said, that's 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:11.360 supposed to happen. It means he's coming. Hail Satan, Zena said. 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.640 Everyone repeated after her, even Thorpe. I grinned, as if 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:19.720 I were witnessing his satanic confirmation. Thorpe could still get 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:23.160 right with the dark Lord. Ripley pushed a Molotov into 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:26.360 Thorpe's hands. Will you do the honors? She said, But 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.240 it wasn't really a question. Thorpe throwing first was all 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.880 part of the ritual. He was our good luck charm, 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:34.480 the reason the cops never caught us. At least that's 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:38.840 what Ripley told us. Thorpe nodded, half smiled, and blushed. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.720 He cleared his throat. Does someone have a lighter, he asked? 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.200 I know I should have brought one, but I quit smoking, 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.280 and oh, good for you, man, Ripley said, then handed 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:49.800 him a bit that looked like it had been a 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:54.840 dog's chew toy. Blinking quickly, Thorpe mumbled a thank you 0:16:55.160 --> 0:17:00.320 before lighting the cloth. That's when the red and blue 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.960 lights of two cop cars lit up the parking lot 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:07.280 like a fascist disco. Thorpe jumped at the sirens, whoop 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:11.080 and dropped the lit molotov. It shattered at his feet 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.560 and flames consumed him head to toe. I smelled the 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.640 musk of burning leather, the sharpness of melting hair. Thorpe's 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:22.760 high pitched scream pierced the night. Everyone else's screams followed 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:28.240 shit roll Thorpe roll, I said, it felt ridiculous coming 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.280 out of my mouth, but what else was there to say? 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.840 A cop barked through a crackling megaphone. All of you 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.959 hands where I could see them, more flamed than man. 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:43.159 Thorpe made a shrieking sprint toward the hobby Bobby and 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:47.480 drove head first through the door. The pain shattered, and 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:51.920 there he lay motionless. Somewhere behind me, Ripley whipped out 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.080 her gun and fired at the cops. I was frozen 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:57.840 with horror, Knowing Thorpe and I would never bite a 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:02.160 desert highway, get pissed, drunk and whisper suite. Everything's under 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:06.359 the blanket of glittering constellations. We'd never raise a toast 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.959 to the King of Hell, never party with winged imps 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:13.080 and black latex suits, never see the fruits of our 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:18.560 satanic labors. More shots, and not the celebratory kind. I 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.600 was out in the fucking open, the rest of the 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.360 gang ducking behind their bikes and pulling out their pieces. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:27.159 I could only tilt my head towards Thorpe, lifeless and 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:30.600 flaming in the hobby Bobby entrance, his body the accelerant 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:36.800 and one final beautiful act of arsen Something was different 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:41.080 about this fire. It spread through the store and possibly fast, 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:47.280 Thorpe's accidental sacrifice, channeling satanic magic and feeding the flames hunger. 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:52.760 Firefighters would never put this one out. A dozen deafening shots, 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.960 bullets pinged off the cop cars and bikes. A cop 0:18:57.080 --> 0:18:59.600 yelled at me to get the fuck down, then pulled 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:02.840 the trigger not a second later. I was lucky he 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.720 had shit aim, because I was still paralyzed watching Thorpe 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:09.880 turned to ash. Fifty feet away, another cruiser pulled into 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:14.040 the lot with lights spinning. Ripley screamed, fuck, fuck, fuck, 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:16.680 and emptied the rest of her clip toward the back 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.919 of but the red and blue lights paled in comparison 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:24.000 to the Hobby Bobby, shining bright as the morning Star. 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:27.840 A bullet clipped my ear, and I only realized it 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:32.720 when hot blood tickled my cheek. Everything was ringing, more 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:36.879 shots than a gut wrenching scream from Ripley. I couldn't 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.840 see her, but I knew she'd been hit. Xena shouted 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:44.240 to Ripley, her panic shredded voice, repeatedly promising everything would 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:48.560 be okay, And then the earth shook with ecstatic violence. 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:53.800 All gunfire stopped. I fell to the ground, which would 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.159 have made that fucking cop happy, had he not been 0:19:56.240 --> 0:20:01.159 worried about the cracking concrete beneath him. Now he and 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.280 his boys were screaming, and Ripley was laughing, and I 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:08.040 was crying, and Thorpe was burning and dying and rebirthing 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:13.560 the world. Flames spouted not from the Hobby Bobby, but 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:18.919 from the splitting concrete. A screaming cop straddled the scorching crack, 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.120 but the gap widened and the flames licked the hair 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:26.040 off his balls. He fell into the engines of Hell, 0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:31.719 fuel for Satan's chariot. His car followed, then another car, 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:36.080 pulling the second cop down with its open driver's side door. 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:40.240 When the last cop tried running bless his cold, wife 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:44.879 beating heart, a blackened claw thick as a redwood reached 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:49.600 up from the quaking crack and gripped his ankle. One 0:20:49.680 --> 0:20:53.480 tug and he was gone. Soul not claimed, but rather 0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:58.720 immolated out of existence. Hell didn't want him, I'm sure 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:03.120 of that. When the claw extended back into the burning night, 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:08.080 it stretched endlessly, towering over the hobby Bobby, the city, 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:13.920 the world, Glowing magma hissed through its veins, and shards 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:19.960 of volcanic glass fell from its fingers, clinking to the ground. Ever, 0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:22.959 the dumbass I didn't register what the beast was at first, 0:21:23.280 --> 0:21:25.520 but I just lost my lover and my one good 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.960 ear so cut me some fucking slack. Ripley, on the 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:33.760 other hand, giggled and rejoiced through labored breath. Hail, Satan, 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:38.960 come at last. My attentions strayed to the hobby Bobby entrance, 0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:43.639 where not even one of Thorpe's briny balls remained. At 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:47.840 least his death meant something. I sobbed and screamed and 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:51.080 thanked him and praised Satan and yearned to fill the 0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:54.760 emptiness inside me. I'd never get to know this reborn 0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:57.720 world with the man I loved, the man who'd made 0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:04.280 it possible. Crete splintered as the colossal beast's head surfaced, 0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:08.919 leaving half the parking lot a sinkhole to hell, Smoke 0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:13.840 rising from his horns. It turned toward me. That's when 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:18.119 I'd realized I'd given up hope too soon. Meeting my 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:22.639 gaze from a mile above, the beast grinned with stalactite 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:27.359 fangs hanging over a gimly beard, the beard I'd long 0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:31.280 to feel against my face for so long. A great 0:22:31.560 --> 0:22:36.919 warmth filled me. Love and hell would rain together for 0:22:37.000 --> 0:22:45.040 eternity the and I really like this story. Sorry, I 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.080 know I always say that I don't know. It's just fun. 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:49.520 Like I don't believe in any of this shit. It's 0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:53.280 a terrible theology. Don't go do this, but like whatever, 0:22:53.520 --> 0:22:56.760 like this idea of wanting to see it all burn 0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:58.960 and then picking this like way of doing it and 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.920 this way of doing it. There's that great new podcast 0:23:01.960 --> 0:23:05.040 about the Satanic Panic that just came out from Sarah Marshall. 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:07.119 But like, I read a lot about the Satanic Panic 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:09.560 and like these things that people accuse us all of doing, 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:11.440 and so sometimes it's nice to just like revel in 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:12.960 that and be like, no, no, no, that's the plan, 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.919 that's totally what we're doing. Yeah, Hazel, who helps me 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:20.760 pick out the stories? They say? I read through a 0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:22.600 lot of stories for this show, but as soon as 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:24.560 I read the first line of this one, I knew 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:26.920 I wanted to try to get it. A good first 0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:28.800 line should set up with the main action in the 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:31.520 story will be, and this line does it so masterfully. 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:34.560 How Thorpe went from being a member of the Nightmare 0:23:34.640 --> 0:23:37.880 Queer's motorcycle gang to a suburbanite with a respectful carpentry 0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:42.520 business is beyond me. It gets us a named main character. 0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:45.600 The two worlds will be torn between for the story, 0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:48.040 the gang and the suburbs, and the hint that will 0:23:48.080 --> 0:23:51.760 be coming out of retirement and one hell of a concept. 0:23:52.560 --> 0:23:55.840 So yeah, I hope you enjoy the story too. Eric Raglan, 0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:58.399 the author. He him, I'm going to read his bio 0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:02.040 to you. Eric Raglin is a horror weird fiction writer. 0:24:02.600 --> 0:24:07.000 His short story collections include Nightmare, Yearnings and Extinction Hymns. 0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:11.520 He owns Cursed Morsels Press, which focuses on short horror 0:24:11.560 --> 0:24:15.240 and weird fiction with an anti capitalist, anti fascist, pro 0:24:15.359 --> 0:24:19.840 queer spirit. He has also edited The Writhing Verdant End 0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:23.840 and No Trouble at All, co edited with Alexis Dubon 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:29.480 and Bitter Apples and Shredded, a sports and fitness body 0:24:29.520 --> 0:24:35.080 horror anthology, and Antifa splatterpunk. You can find him on 0:24:35.160 --> 0:24:39.560 Blue Sky or Instagram at Eric Rogland nineteen ninety two 0:24:39.600 --> 0:24:43.679 which is e. Eric R. A. G l I n. 0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:47.640 Nineteen ninety two and I'm Margaret Kiljoy and you can 0:24:47.680 --> 0:24:50.320 find me wherever you want. My latest book is called 0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:52.920 The Immortal Choir Holds Every Voice. It has kind of 0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:55.520 pretty similar themes to this, And everyone who backed out 0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:58.240 on Kickstarter is about to get a digital copy of 0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:01.680 a companion story for the dayl Okaine series called and 0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:04.480 the Clean Bone's Gone that's coming out from Strangers in 0:25:04.520 --> 0:25:06.560 a Tangled Wilderness. It might actually be out to the 0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:09.120 Kickstarter backers by the time you hear this. But if 0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:11.800 you want a zine of it mailed to your very door, 0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:15.320 you can back our publishers Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness 0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:18.520 at patreon dot com sus Strangers and Entangled Wilderness, and 0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:20.680 anyone who backses to ten dollars a more a month 0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:23.119 gets a zine every month in the mail, and our 0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:25.440 January mailers are the biggest mailing of the year where 0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:27.479 we make like bigger zines and stuff and send them 0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:29.560 out as well as like a poster that's also our 0:25:29.640 --> 0:25:32.920 catalog and all this shit. But importantly, the print zine 0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:34.880 version of and the Clean Bone's Gone, which you can 0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:38.639