1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:10,200
Speaker 1: Cool Zone Media, the Club, the Club, the Club. Hello,

2
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,760
Speaker 1: welcome to Coolzone Media book Club, the only book club.

3
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,400
Speaker 1: Or you don't have to do the reading because I

4
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:18,320
Speaker 1: do it for you, or should I say welcome back?

5
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,840
Speaker 1: Because today we're going back to doing short stories. I

6
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,680
Speaker 1: know y'all listened very patiently through Dawn of the Frogs,

7
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 1: and I know you all really like it when Trent

8
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:33,440
Speaker 1: throw bomb. But don't worry. We've got schemes and dreams

9
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,840
Speaker 1: for more ttprpgs here at cools on Media. But we're

10
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,680
Speaker 1: back to doing short stories on Cool Zone Media book Club.

11
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,000
Speaker 1: And if you knew here or you just don't remember,

12
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,320
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Margaret Kildren, And every week I read

13
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,519
Speaker 1: you a story that I like. Sometimes the stories are chaotic,

14
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,640
Speaker 1: sometimes they're cozy, and usually they made me feel something,

15
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,599
Speaker 1: and occasionally they're bad enough to be funny. But most

16
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,480
Speaker 1: weeks I pick stories that are just fun to read

17
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,320
Speaker 1: and fun to listen to, and I hope that you

18
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,720
Speaker 1: have fun too. And this week we have a fun

19
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,880
Speaker 1: fucking story. This is a romp. It is a who Nanny,

20
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,880
Speaker 1: That's what this story is. Because this week we're reading

21
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,760
Speaker 1: you Macromay Flames, which is a twenty twenty two story

22
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,399
Speaker 1: by the author Eric Roglan. It's from an anthology called

23
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 1: The Book of Queer Saints, which was edited by May Murray.

24
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,400
Speaker 1: And this story rules because stories about gay people doing

25
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,480
Speaker 1: cult shit rule. But it also rules because of just

26
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,160
Speaker 1: how many rich details there are, like how they all

27
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,119
Speaker 1: use signal the app when they're doing their texting for crime,

28
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,319
Speaker 1: or how they all have knuckle tattoos. And if you

29
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:37,480
Speaker 1: feel like it, you should listen in for how Eric

30
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,840
Speaker 1: contrasts the familiar and the fantastical in this piece. All right,

31
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:47,080
Speaker 1: you all ready? Are you ready? For Macromay Flames by

32
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:52,480
Speaker 1: Eric Roglin. How Thorpe went from being a member of

33
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,400
Speaker 1: the Nightmare Queer's motorcycle gang to a suburbanite with a

34
00:01:55,440 --> 00:02:00,880
Speaker 1: respectable carpentry business is beyond me. When we were committing

35
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,960
Speaker 1: arson once or twice a week, he always threw the

36
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:08,679
Speaker 1: first Molotov, and boy did his eagerness for destruction win

37
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,280
Speaker 1: my heart. After one arson in Cincinnati, we fled the scene,

38
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,080
Speaker 1: climbed to a nearby rooftop, and went to town on

39
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,600
Speaker 1: each other while the hobby bobby below burned one of

40
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaker 1: six hobby bobbies we'd torched that month alone, watching the

41
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:27,120
Speaker 1: cops scramble to find us and fail only furthered our pleasure.

42
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 1: They're dumb as shit, Thorpe groaned, is gimly beard buried

43
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:37,800
Speaker 1: in my ass? Thanks Satan for that. After a couple sweaty,

44
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 1: sexy hours, we fell asleep on the rooftop reckless, I know,

45
00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,280
Speaker 1: but waking up to a sunrise hazy with craft supply

46
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,280
Speaker 1: smoke was magical. Shivering in our leather jackets, we held

47
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,240
Speaker 1: each other and shared a cigarette. Perfect beauty and calm

48
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,440
Speaker 1: enveloped us. I would have loved for the moment to

49
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,799
Speaker 1: last forever, but you rarely get to savor things when

50
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,519
Speaker 1: you're wanted. In seventeen states, before the morning rush hour,

51
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 1: we were off to the next hobby bobby, not another

52
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,600
Speaker 1: in Ohio. We weren't stupid, but won a few hundred

53
00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:15,320
Speaker 1: miles off the stores growing fewer and farther between. Gang

54
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,960
Speaker 1: leader Ripley greeted our arrival with eyes narrowed and tattooed,

55
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 1: arms crossed. She gave us shit for spending the night

56
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,080
Speaker 1: so close to the crime scene, but I didn't care,

57
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,520
Speaker 1: and from the way she smirked, it seemed neither did she.

58
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 1: It was impossible to resent such a goddamn cute couple. Still,

59
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 1: there were limits to our love. When the gang broke

60
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,560
Speaker 1: up five years back, I refused to settle in the

61
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:45,400
Speaker 1: suburbs with Thorpe among the golfers, hoa shitheads, and quiverful

62
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 1: families next door. Loaded with cash from years of robberies

63
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:54,080
Speaker 1: and inexplicably good financial planning. Thorpe sought stability after his

64
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,040
Speaker 1: homeless teenage years and his on the run twenties. My

65
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,200
Speaker 1: wanderlust hadn't been satisfied, though. I left to bike around

66
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,440
Speaker 1: the country alone, doing odd jobs and keeping a low profile.

67
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,200
Speaker 1: But it wasn't the same without him, Even in the

68
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 1: company of other men at truck stops and campsites and

69
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,960
Speaker 1: bathhouses and porta potties. I thought of Thorpe constantly. I

70
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,800
Speaker 1: often flipped through pictures I'd taken on the road and

71
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,920
Speaker 1: imagined he was in them, standing among yellowstone bison with

72
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,760
Speaker 1: casual fearlessness, slamming back rotgut shots in a San Francisco

73
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,839
Speaker 1: gay bar, and gazing at the stars through a tense

74
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:37,640
Speaker 1: mesh roof the two of us together, inseparable. It was

75
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,400
Speaker 1: only after the gang realized or satanic work wasn't done that.

76
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,120
Speaker 1: I saw him again, like a heist movie. He came

77
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,719
Speaker 1: out of retirement for one last job. Maybe because he

78
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,640
Speaker 1: remembered what made us so good together, or maybe because

79
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,440
Speaker 1: Suburbia bored him. Guess I'll never know. I missed my

80
00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:00,320
Speaker 1: chance to ask. Ripley's prophecy promised literal hell on earth

81
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 1: after we burned down six hundred and sixty six hobby bobbies,

82
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,240
Speaker 1: but somehow we fucked up the count. It's true what

83
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,560
Speaker 1: they say about queers in math. Ripley's partner Xena miscounted,

84
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,920
Speaker 1: so we thought our work was done, which meant hell

85
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,080
Speaker 1: didn't come to Earth, causing Ripley's prophecy to lose credibility

86
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,719
Speaker 1: and the gang to split up. Kind of funny in retrospect.

87
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,320
Speaker 1: I stayed gang loyal longer than Thorpe and most of

88
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,120
Speaker 1: the others, but at some point it got awkward. It

89
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,240
Speaker 1: was only Ripley and Zena plus me third wheeling it,

90
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,120
Speaker 1: and you know how a biker feels about anything with

91
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:40,280
Speaker 1: more than two wheels. I bounced thing is Zena did

92
00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:44,719
Speaker 1: an Arson recount five years later? Why you're wondering for

93
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,120
Speaker 1: her goddamn scrapbook? Every Hobby Bobby Arson news Clipping got

94
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,839
Speaker 1: its own page, and when she glued the final article

95
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:56,640
Speaker 1: the page six hundred and sixty five, she must have thought, huh,

96
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:01,800
Speaker 1: I'd done fucked up. Sure did Warrior Prince. After that,

97
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,560
Speaker 1: Ripley informed the gang of the situation through an encryptied

98
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,200
Speaker 1: group text, though there were fewer of us now. Knox

99
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,760
Speaker 1: had died in a knife fight with some sturgist Nazis,

100
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,000
Speaker 1: Kimp had died in a knife fight with herself, and

101
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,600
Speaker 1: Dozer had fucked off to DJ at a queer nightclub

102
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 1: in Berlin. Those who remained, minus a stubbornly silent Thorpe,

103
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,280
Speaker 1: hopped on a video conference call like real corporate ghouls,

104
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,200
Speaker 1: but instead of suits and ties, we each had faced

105
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:32,960
Speaker 1: hats and septum piercings and crooked scheming smiles. We shot

106
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,400
Speaker 1: the shit and plotted for hours. I left the call

107
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:41,240
Speaker 1: fucking buzzing, thinking if everything went smoothly, how really would

108
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: come to earth? It be a twenty four to seven

109
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,880
Speaker 1: paradise for queers and anarchists and the best sorts of criminals.

110
00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:52,039
Speaker 1: Hobby Bobby still hadn't recovered from the nightmare Queer's campaign

111
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,000
Speaker 1: of terror, but they dared to open one new location

112
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,479
Speaker 1: in Omaha, Nebraska. The corporation had waited a good three

113
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,680
Speaker 1: years after our spree ended to build it, and there

114
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,200
Speaker 1: it had stood ever since, with a store sign glowing

115
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:12,240
Speaker 1: orange like a beacon for crafty evangelist assholes. Ripley and

116
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,360
Speaker 1: Zena scouted the place ahead of time. There was a

117
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:19,520
Speaker 1: security camera at the store's southeast corner and a blind

118
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,920
Speaker 1: spot on the northeast side of the parking lot. We'd

119
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 1: taken on much harder jobs, so this one should have

120
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,600
Speaker 1: been cake, right, And you know what else is a

121
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,800
Speaker 1: piece of cake to you know who else glows orange

122
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,640
Speaker 1: with craft supplies and prophecy destruction. Not any of our sponsors,

123
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 1: that's for sure. Nope, they are completely without the orange

124
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,880
Speaker 1: glow of prophecy destruction. That's our promise here at cool

125
00:07:49,920 --> 00:08:10,280
Speaker 1: Zone Media. Here's our sponsors, and we're back. The morning

126
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,880
Speaker 1: before our final arson, after too many unreturned voicemails, I

127
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:19,400
Speaker 1: drove to Thorpe's suburban hellscape to plead my case. His

128
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,360
Speaker 1: lawn was perfect, and by perfect, I mean perfectly fucking boring,

129
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:28,560
Speaker 1: mowed and watered and monoculture as hell. A wooden welcome

130
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,760
Speaker 1: sign hung from the door. It looked like one you'd

131
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,040
Speaker 1: find it at Hobby Bobby, But as I found out

132
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,840
Speaker 1: later that day, he'd made it himself. Arsonist, ass eater

133
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:43,760
Speaker 1: and carpenter. Thorpe was a triple threat. When I knocked,

134
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,160
Speaker 1: he answered with a shaved face and his shirt tucked

135
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:50,880
Speaker 1: into his pants. The shirt thing threw me off. What

136
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,800
Speaker 1: kind of person tucked their shirt in while lazing around

137
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:58,440
Speaker 1: at home didn't seem like the Thorpe I'd known. Still,

138
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,640
Speaker 1: he was willing to hear me out on this one

139
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,360
Speaker 1: last job, and I was willing to open my heart

140
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:09,199
Speaker 1: again carefully, like opening a door during a hailstorm. How

141
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 1: do you feel about fucking up one last craft store?

142
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,440
Speaker 1: I asked, going in for a kiss, Thorpe lurched back

143
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: and whispered, not so loud. Come on. Whether he was

144
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,280
Speaker 1: afraid of getting busted for criminal activity or getting outed

145
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,200
Speaker 1: as a homo in Trump Country, I couldn't tell, but

146
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,280
Speaker 1: I followed him inside. He shut the door, then gave

147
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,280
Speaker 1: me a quick peck on the corner of my mouth,

148
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,920
Speaker 1: a totally unromantic reunion kiss. But it had also been

149
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 1: five fucking years of radio silence, so who could blame him.

150
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,400
Speaker 1: Thorpe had a black pleath sectional couch without a single

151
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,200
Speaker 1: cracked cushion, a big ass TV covering half the wall,

152
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:53,640
Speaker 1: and a spinning rack of home improvement magazines. Nice house,

153
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,440
Speaker 1: I said, through a grimace, Please say you've got an

154
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,400
Speaker 1: altar room somewhere, a little satan in the suburbs. I

155
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 1: don't worship much of anything these days, Thorpe said, scratching

156
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,600
Speaker 1: his shaved neck. Not even a shadow of stubble remained.

157
00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,800
Speaker 1: Maybe that'll change tonight. I said, We've got the count

158
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:17,240
Speaker 1: right this time, so big things could happen. Thorpe nodded

159
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,559
Speaker 1: and gave a polite Midwestern smile, but I didn't make

160
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,480
Speaker 1: eye contact. Silence took cold, filled by the soft hum

161
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,480
Speaker 1: of air conditioning. Not even a window unit. This was

162
00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:34,160
Speaker 1: bouge ass central cooling. Listen, I know this is awkward

163
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,559
Speaker 1: and you don't really want to deal with gang shit anymore,

164
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,679
Speaker 1: but I cleared my throat. Do you at least want

165
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:45,480
Speaker 1: to have sex for old time's sake? Sure? He said

166
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:50,199
Speaker 1: that would be nice. A good cum broke the ice.

167
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,880
Speaker 1: Thorpe and I laid in his temper pedic bed. Could

168
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,040
Speaker 1: have gotten used to that bed holy shit. Cuddling naked

169
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,280
Speaker 1: and drinking whiskey and catching up on a half a

170
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 1: decade of long He braided my hair just like he

171
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,840
Speaker 1: used to, which made me cry a few boozy tears.

172
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,280
Speaker 1: When I stopped crying, it was his turn. I hate

173
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,960
Speaker 1: myself most of the time, he sniffled. I needed safety

174
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:19,079
Speaker 1: and security, and I sold out for it. This life's comfortable,

175
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,760
Speaker 1: and it's nice, and it's so goddamn boring. The neighborhood

176
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,600
Speaker 1: dads invited me to join an Eagles cover band, the

177
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 1: Eagles for Satan's sake, Satan, you say? He smiled, then

178
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,040
Speaker 1: kissed me. It was wet and tonguey and way fucking

179
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 1: hotter than are kiss At the door, pulling away, he asked,

180
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,200
Speaker 1: do you hate me? I almost laughed at the audacity

181
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,240
Speaker 1: of that question. Thorpe. You have to understand, I said,

182
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,920
Speaker 1: two years back, I biked through this town that had

183
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,480
Speaker 1: a custom body pillow shop, no lie, and I seriously

184
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 1: fucking considered getting one printed with a picture of you.

185
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,920
Speaker 1: I was pathetic and lonely and totally head over heels

186
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,920
Speaker 1: for this bitch right in in front of me. So no,

187
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,520
Speaker 1: I can never hate you. Thorpe smiled, lasted only a

188
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,280
Speaker 1: moment before he sobbed into my armpit and whispered thank you,

189
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,560
Speaker 1: I love you, over and over and over. I cradled

190
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 1: his head and inhaled him. He was already starting to

191
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,679
Speaker 1: smell more like the man I remembered. Maybe there'd be

192
00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,480
Speaker 1: a future for us after all. I wondered if I

193
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,080
Speaker 1: could persuade him to burn down this house but not

194
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 1: the bed, and collect the insurance money, we'd ride off

195
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,560
Speaker 1: together and enjoy a lifelong road trip through hell on Earth.

196
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,720
Speaker 1: But I was getting ahead of myself. I'd wait to

197
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,080
Speaker 1: ask until after the hobby Bobby burned. Thorpe and I

198
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:44,080
Speaker 1: pulled into Omaha late, just like the old times. He

199
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 1: hadn't ridden as Kawasaki in ages, so we had to

200
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 1: do some last minute maintenance. I felt like a dad

201
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,160
Speaker 1: yelling at his son to hurry up and get dressed

202
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,960
Speaker 1: for church. Your mom's already in the goddamn car, still

203
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,840
Speaker 1: with a little extra speed on the interstate, and void.

204
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,640
Speaker 1: Did that feel good? We arrived just ten minutes past midnight.

205
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,680
Speaker 1: Seven other Nightmare queers were already there, quietly chatting and

206
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,079
Speaker 1: smoking under an awning. They waved at us and whisper,

207
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:16,839
Speaker 1: shouted and enthusiastic greeting. Standing aways off, Ripley glared when

208
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 1: we pulled into the dark corner of the parking lot,

209
00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,480
Speaker 1: but she grinned at the sight of Thorpe's shaved face.

210
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,040
Speaker 1: I've seen twinks become bears, but never the other way around,

211
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,960
Speaker 1: she said, hugging him tight. Good to have you back.

212
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: Glad to be back, Thorpe said, but his voice trembled.

213
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,400
Speaker 1: Maybe he'd been a suburbanite for so long that returning

214
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,560
Speaker 1: to crime scared him. Light years distant as he was

215
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,680
Speaker 1: from his roots and values. I nudged his ribs and whispered,

216
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:49,040
Speaker 1: It's going to be great. He gave a brief, lippy smile.

217
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:52,640
Speaker 1: Before I could give further reassurance, Ripley pushed a Molotov

218
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:56,520
Speaker 1: into my hands. Still got a good throwing arm, she asked.

219
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,480
Speaker 1: Hard to miss a fifty thousand square foot building, I said.

220
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,160
Speaker 1: Thorpe snorted and looked down. He kicked over someone's discarded

221
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,360
Speaker 1: monster energy can and washed its remnants pool at his feet.

222
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,120
Speaker 1: Ripley approached him with a second molotov. You spilled my drink,

223
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:17,400
Speaker 1: she said. Thorpe's head snapped up and his eyes went wide.

224
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,480
Speaker 1: Fucking with you, man, I don't drink that shit, Ripley said.

225
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 1: She rested a hand on Thorpe's leather jacket, which he

226
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 1: probably hadn't worn in years. You okay, Thorpe nodded. Yeah,

227
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,040
Speaker 1: I really missed everyone. Things haven't been easy, and I'm

228
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,480
Speaker 1: sorry I haven't been around. I really should have no

229
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 1: reason to apologize. The past is the past and the

230
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,680
Speaker 1: future is hell on earth. Let's torch this craft store

231
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 1: and grab a fucking beer, just like you can torch

232
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 1: a U log. There we go. That's one thing I

233
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,680
Speaker 1: can say. You can torch on air. Go torch a

234
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,160
Speaker 1: yule log and grab yourself a fucking beer. You filed

235
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:13,600
Speaker 1: the animal unrelated anything at all. Here's ads and we're back.

236
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,600
Speaker 1: Thorpe puffed his cheeks out, then hopped up and down

237
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,240
Speaker 1: like an antsy gay football player on the sidelines. Ripley's

238
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,920
Speaker 1: pep talk reminded me of why we'd followed her for

239
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,720
Speaker 1: so many years, and I was grateful she could inspire

240
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,720
Speaker 1: Thorpe in ways I couldn't. Ripley called to the others,

241
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 1: finish your smokes and come here. Don't want cops arriving

242
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 1: before we get this party started. Everyone walked over, hugged

243
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,440
Speaker 1: me in. Thorpe then huddled around Ripley. The gang looked

244
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,240
Speaker 1: different after five years away. Zena had gray hair, Murk

245
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 1: had daddy knuckle pats, and Corsica had a half sagging

246
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 1: face from her stroke. Despite the changes, it still felt

247
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:02,120
Speaker 1: like old times. I couldn't stop smiling. After the building burns,

248
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 1: the ground will start shaking. Don't panic, Ripley said, that's

249
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 1: supposed to happen. It means he's coming. Hail Satan, Zena said.

250
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 1: Everyone repeated after her, even Thorpe. I grinned, as if

251
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,720
Speaker 1: I were witnessing his satanic confirmation. Thorpe could still get

252
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 1: right with the dark Lord. Ripley pushed a Molotov into

253
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 1: Thorpe's hands. Will you do the honors? She said, But

254
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,240
Speaker 1: it wasn't really a question. Thorpe throwing first was all

255
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,880
Speaker 1: part of the ritual. He was our good luck charm,

256
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 1: the reason the cops never caught us. At least that's

257
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 1: what Ripley told us. Thorpe nodded, half smiled, and blushed.

258
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,720
Speaker 1: He cleared his throat. Does someone have a lighter, he asked?

259
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,200
Speaker 1: I know I should have brought one, but I quit smoking,

260
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 1: and oh, good for you, man, Ripley said, then handed

261
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 1: him a bit that looked like it had been a

262
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 1: dog's chew toy. Blinking quickly, Thorpe mumbled a thank you

263
00:16:55,160 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: before lighting the cloth. That's when the red and blue

264
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 1: lights of two cop cars lit up the parking lot

265
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,280
Speaker 1: like a fascist disco. Thorpe jumped at the sirens, whoop

266
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 1: and dropped the lit molotov. It shattered at his feet

267
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 1: and flames consumed him head to toe. I smelled the

268
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,640
Speaker 1: musk of burning leather, the sharpness of melting hair. Thorpe's

269
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 1: high pitched scream pierced the night. Everyone else's screams followed

270
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 1: shit roll Thorpe roll, I said, it felt ridiculous coming

271
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 1: out of my mouth, but what else was there to say?

272
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 1: A cop barked through a crackling megaphone. All of you

273
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,959
Speaker 1: hands where I could see them, more flamed than man.

274
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,159
Speaker 1: Thorpe made a shrieking sprint toward the hobby Bobby and

275
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 1: drove head first through the door. The pain shattered, and

276
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 1: there he lay motionless. Somewhere behind me, Ripley whipped out

277
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,080
Speaker 1: her gun and fired at the cops. I was frozen

278
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,840
Speaker 1: with horror, Knowing Thorpe and I would never bite a

279
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,160
Speaker 1: desert highway, get pissed, drunk and whisper suite. Everything's under

280
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 1: the blanket of glittering constellations. We'd never raise a toast

281
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,959
Speaker 1: to the King of Hell, never party with winged imps

282
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 1: and black latex suits, never see the fruits of our

283
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 1: satanic labors. More shots, and not the celebratory kind. I

284
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 1: was out in the fucking open, the rest of the

285
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,360
Speaker 1: gang ducking behind their bikes and pulling out their pieces.

286
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 1: I could only tilt my head towards Thorpe, lifeless and

287
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 1: flaming in the hobby Bobby entrance, his body the accelerant

288
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 1: and one final beautiful act of arsen Something was different

289
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: about this fire. It spread through the store and possibly fast,

290
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 1: Thorpe's accidental sacrifice, channeling satanic magic and feeding the flames hunger.

291
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,760
Speaker 1: Firefighters would never put this one out. A dozen deafening shots,

292
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 1: bullets pinged off the cop cars and bikes. A cop

293
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: yelled at me to get the fuck down, then pulled

294
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: the trigger not a second later. I was lucky he

295
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 1: had shit aim, because I was still paralyzed watching Thorpe

296
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 1: turned to ash. Fifty feet away, another cruiser pulled into

297
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 1: the lot with lights spinning. Ripley screamed, fuck, fuck, fuck,

298
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 1: and emptied the rest of her clip toward the back

299
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,919
Speaker 1: of but the red and blue lights paled in comparison

300
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: to the Hobby Bobby, shining bright as the morning Star.

301
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 1: A bullet clipped my ear, and I only realized it

302
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 1: when hot blood tickled my cheek. Everything was ringing, more

303
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: shots than a gut wrenching scream from Ripley. I couldn't

304
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: see her, but I knew she'd been hit. Xena shouted

305
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: to Ripley, her panic shredded voice, repeatedly promising everything would

306
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 1: be okay, And then the earth shook with ecstatic violence.

307
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: All gunfire stopped. I fell to the ground, which would

308
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,159
Speaker 1: have made that fucking cop happy, had he not been

309
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:01,159
Speaker 1: worried about the cracking concrete beneath him. Now he and

310
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: his boys were screaming, and Ripley was laughing, and I

311
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 1: was crying, and Thorpe was burning and dying and rebirthing

312
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 1: the world. Flames spouted not from the Hobby Bobby, but

313
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 1: from the splitting concrete. A screaming cop straddled the scorching crack,

314
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,120
Speaker 1: but the gap widened and the flames licked the hair

315
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: off his balls. He fell into the engines of Hell,

316
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:31,719
Speaker 1: fuel for Satan's chariot. His car followed, then another car,

317
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 1: pulling the second cop down with its open driver's side door.

318
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 1: When the last cop tried running bless his cold, wife

319
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 1: beating heart, a blackened claw thick as a redwood reached

320
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: up from the quaking crack and gripped his ankle. One

321
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: tug and he was gone. Soul not claimed, but rather

322
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 1: immolated out of existence. Hell didn't want him, I'm sure

323
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 1: of that. When the claw extended back into the burning night,

324
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: it stretched endlessly, towering over the hobby Bobby, the city,

325
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 1: the world, Glowing magma hissed through its veins, and shards

326
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: of volcanic glass fell from its fingers, clinking to the ground. Ever,

327
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,959
Speaker 1: the dumbass I didn't register what the beast was at first,

328
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: but I just lost my lover and my one good

329
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: ear so cut me some fucking slack. Ripley, on the

330
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 1: other hand, giggled and rejoiced through labored breath. Hail, Satan,

331
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: come at last. My attentions strayed to the hobby Bobby entrance,

332
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 1: where not even one of Thorpe's briny balls remained. At

333
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 1: least his death meant something. I sobbed and screamed and

334
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: thanked him and praised Satan and yearned to fill the

335
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: emptiness inside me. I'd never get to know this reborn

336
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: world with the man I loved, the man who'd made

337
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: it possible. Crete splintered as the colossal beast's head surfaced,

338
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 1: leaving half the parking lot a sinkhole to hell, Smoke

339
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: rising from his horns. It turned toward me. That's when

340
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 1: I'd realized I'd given up hope too soon. Meeting my

341
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 1: gaze from a mile above, the beast grinned with stalactite

342
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: fangs hanging over a gimly beard, the beard I'd long

343
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: to feel against my face for so long. A great

344
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 1: warmth filled me. Love and hell would rain together for

345
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: eternity the and I really like this story. Sorry, I

346
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: know I always say that I don't know. It's just fun.

347
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: Like I don't believe in any of this shit. It's

348
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: a terrible theology. Don't go do this, but like whatever,

349
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: like this idea of wanting to see it all burn

350
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 1: and then picking this like way of doing it and

351
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: this way of doing it. There's that great new podcast

352
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 1: about the Satanic Panic that just came out from Sarah Marshall.

353
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 1: But like, I read a lot about the Satanic Panic

354
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: and like these things that people accuse us all of doing,

355
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 1: and so sometimes it's nice to just like revel in

356
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 1: that and be like, no, no, no, that's the plan,

357
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 1: that's totally what we're doing. Yeah, Hazel, who helps me

358
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: pick out the stories? They say? I read through a

359
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: lot of stories for this show, but as soon as

360
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: I read the first line of this one, I knew

361
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to try to get it. A good first

362
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: line should set up with the main action in the

363
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: story will be, and this line does it so masterfully.

364
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: How Thorpe went from being a member of the Nightmare

365
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: Queer's motorcycle gang to a suburbanite with a respectful carpentry

366
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: business is beyond me. It gets us a named main character.

367
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: The two worlds will be torn between for the story,

368
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: the gang and the suburbs, and the hint that will

369
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: be coming out of retirement and one hell of a concept.

370
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, I hope you enjoy the story too. Eric Raglan,

371
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: the author. He him, I'm going to read his bio

372
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 1: to you. Eric Raglin is a horror weird fiction writer.

373
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: His short story collections include Nightmare, Yearnings and Extinction Hymns.

374
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: He owns Cursed Morsels Press, which focuses on short horror

375
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 1: and weird fiction with an anti capitalist, anti fascist, pro

376
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: queer spirit. He has also edited The Writhing Verdant End

377
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: and No Trouble at All, co edited with Alexis Dubon

378
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: and Bitter Apples and Shredded, a sports and fitness body

379
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 1: horror anthology, and Antifa splatterpunk. You can find him on

380
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: Blue Sky or Instagram at Eric Rogland nineteen ninety two

381
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: which is e. Eric R. A. G l I n.

382
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: Nineteen ninety two and I'm Margaret Kiljoy and you can

383
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: find me wherever you want. My latest book is called

384
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: The Immortal Choir Holds Every Voice. It has kind of

385
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: pretty similar themes to this, And everyone who backed out

386
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: on Kickstarter is about to get a digital copy of

387
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: a companion story for the dayl Okaine series called and

388
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: the Clean Bone's Gone that's coming out from Strangers in

389
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: a Tangled Wilderness. It might actually be out to the

390
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,120
Speaker 1: Kickstarter backers by the time you hear this. But if

391
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: you want a zine of it mailed to your very door,

392
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: you can back our publishers Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness

393
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: at patreon dot com sus Strangers and Entangled Wilderness, and

394
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: anyone who backses to ten dollars a more a month

395
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 1: gets a zine every month in the mail, and our

396
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 1: January mailers are the biggest mailing of the year where

397
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,479
Speaker 1: we make like bigger zines and stuff and send them

398
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: out as well as like a poster that's also our

399
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: catalog and all this shit. But importantly, the print zine

400
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 1: version of and the Clean Bone's Gone, which you can

401
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: absolutely read standalone. If you want really similar themes is

402
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: this and the Clean Bone's Gone. Yeah, you can get

403
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: it if you back us before December thirty first this

404
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: year twenty twenty five, you'll get a copy of that

405
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: in the mail, but I don't know, you can also

406
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: just back it anyway and you'll get a zine once

407
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: a month. And then if you really want for something

408
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 1: that's completely unrelated to Hobby Bobby, which is of course

409
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,640
Speaker 1: the entirely fictitious thing that is referenced in this episode,

410
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: you can also go and listen to Behind the Bastards

411
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: episodes from twenty twenty how hobby lobby funded terrorism and

412
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: try to destroy democracy. For just something completely unrelated, I

413
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: just wanted to shout out another cool Zone Media podcast,

414
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 1: Behind the Bastards. Maybe you've heard of it. Anyway, talk

415
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: to y'all next week. It could happen here as a

416
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: production of cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from cool

417
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: Zone Media, visit our website coolzonemedia dot com, or check

418
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: us out on the Iheard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or

419
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for

420
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: It could Happen Here, updated monthly at coolzonemedia dot com

421
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 1: slash sources. Thanks for listening,