WEBVTT - The Problem with “Clean Eating” + Self Care Prioritization 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.400 I won't let my body out me out wait everything 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:07.920 that I'm made dope, won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.440 I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong, 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:17.680 I feel free, I know who everybody me. It's beautiful 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.439 and then will always out way if you feel it 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.400 with yours in the air, she'll love to the boom. There, 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:33.360 let's say good day and did you and die out 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:38.479 hey out way fam Amy and Lisa here and today 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.640 we're gonna be talking about terms that we need to cancel. 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.000 You know, people all over the place are getting canceled 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:46.839 left and right, which I'm not a big part of 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.720 cancel culture by any means, but these words can definitely 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.000 go and I don't want to hear them anymore. But 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.560 unfortunately it might be a while before we see that 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:58.480 actually happen. And then we're also going to talk about 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.200 self care and why it isn't selfish. So if you've 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:04.000 needed any sort of permission for self care, we will 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.600 give you that here today. But Lisa, since you're the 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.720 expert in this field and you know, especially as a 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:14.959 registered dietitian that is dedicated to you know, helping people 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.920 unlearn a lot of what we have learned much of 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.840 our lives. I mean, I'm forty years old, and I 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:25.920 feel like I can't remember when exactly clean eating entered 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:29.160 my space, but that term clean eating, but I know 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:32.480 that good and bad foods has been around in my 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:34.679 brain as long as I could remember, like, oh, this 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:37.160 is good for you, this is bad for you? And 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.240 then I know for sure it was probably around college 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:43.440 that I was introduced to cheat meals. And these are 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.520 three terms or I guess it maybe even four if 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:49.320 you count good and bad as too, that I would 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:52.760 love to go over. And if you could even break down, 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.600 I mean, what even is clean eating? I know that 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:58.080 how I used to define it. I'm not in the field, 0:01:58.080 --> 0:01:59.960 but I didn't know even as a registered dietitian if 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.480 you learned that in school or that's something you went over. 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.560 And I know that you lean differently than some other dietitians, 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:09.720 like you're in a different space. So I feel like 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:11.880 people are like, well, what's wrong with clean eating? How 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:15.320 could that be harmful? Great? Great question? And to start 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:19.080 clean eating was a big part of my disordered eating personally. 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:24.520 Is there anything wrong with eating healthful, nutritious foods that 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.440 I guess technically fall into this clean category. No, But 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:32.720 for me and many people, we clung to clean eating 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.840 as a way to control what we were eating without 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:40.359 making it about the obvious weight. So for a lot 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.520 of people it is about the way clean eating, but 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:44.360 for a lot of people it may also be about 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:47.680 the healthfulness of the food. I don't know who coined 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.760 the term. I know who is like my leader at 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.480 this time of my disordered eating with clean eating, and 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.440 she's not even relevant, so I'm not even going to 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.280 say her name. But the idea was that, you know, 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:02.880 there are foods are clean and pure, and then there 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:06.320 are foods that are tainted with things such as added 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:10.120 sugars or preservatives or blah blah blah, and if we 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:13.440 eat clean, we will feel really good, you know, weight 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.720 will naturally come off, and that will be the healthful 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.120 way to live. And I remember the first time I 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.240 heard this being like, Okay, well I love this because 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.400 I was studying nutrition. I was not learning this in school. 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:26.800 To answer your question, never did clean eating come up 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:30.000 in my studies. That came up in my personal studies. 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.919 And I was like, well, this is great because we're 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.320 not telling people to you know, not eat certain amount 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:39.360 of calories. There's some freedom to this idea of I 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:42.560 could eat these foods, but stay away from these foods. 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.520 And the first red flag I could see now not 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.640 at the time, was I need to see a list 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.440 of which foods are clean and which are not. And 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.360 being a really big fan of ketchup and I love 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.560 ketchup and mustard, I know that's like very hit or 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:58.880 miss with a lot of people, and having to google 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:04.480 is Ketchup lean? Is Mustard clean? Not really looking for 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.760 a an approved and an unapproved list which would make 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:12.000 my food making decisions easy again, because that was always 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.920 what it was about for me and my disordered eating. 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.480 Whatever plan I was following, it was about how can 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:20.080 I default back to not thinking and just follow the 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:22.599 good and bad or the clean and you know whatever. 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:27.640 So for me, the problem didn't show up until I 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:33.159 was faced with situations that were slightly out of my control. So, 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:36.279 you know, it was easy to eat clean living I was. 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.400 I was in my twenties, cooking all my meals for myself, 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.320 blah blah blah. I was easy to do so for 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.000 maybe breakfast, lunch, and dinner most of the time. But 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:46.400 if I were to dine out with friends. Then it 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.679 was like, wait a second, what oils are they using? 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.120 What else went into this? And it would start to 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.040 cause me massive panic. I couldn't go out for frozen 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.000 yogurt with friends, or if I did and I would 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.000 have some, it would kind of go Your second part 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.960 to your question is Okay, well, then this is my 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.680 cheap meal. This is a break for my clean eating. 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.400 This is my one opportunity to do so. And I'm 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:10.080 sure tons of people can relate to this. I'm just 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:14.840 recounting my story for anybody that needs illustration. And while 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:19.760 that seems like a good balance, it's really not, because 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:24.560 it really shows that clean eating can be restrictive and 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:29.559 limiting and not honoring your actual wisdom of what you want. 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:33.919 And the extreme of the cheat meal is again that 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.320 limited window of I'm allowed to have this, so I'm 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.600 going to have all of it, and a completely disconnected 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:45.200 experience that oftentimes leads to g I discomfort, mental discomfort, 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.440 and just brings you back to Okay, now I got 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:49.560 to be clean again, and we need to really take 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:53.640 a step back to look at that cycle of what 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:58.520 that's doing to our mental state. I've like softened a 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:02.040 little bit around, like people saying, Okay, I just eat clean. However, 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:06.120 I think anyone listening to this podcast, this is language 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:09.320 that we want to a flag if someone else uses 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.600 around us, because it's triggering, they might speak to other 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:17.240 things that will cause us to question our relationship to 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:20.400 food and body and be again, if you're listening to 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.400 this podcast specifically, you have some sort of a history 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.080 of clinging to a food rule. And this is a 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.800 really easy one that gets disguised as oh, no, we're 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:35.080 not a diet, No no, no, we are different. This 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:38.520 is a lifestyle. We are cle eating clean. Yeah. It 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.120 felt much better because I said it. It It felt much 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:44.040 better to say, oh, I'm eating clean than oh I'm 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:47.240 on a diet. Yeah exactly. I would have never said 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.960 I'm on a diet, but no, I eat clean and 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.080 and and I guess the implication there that I've seen 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.159 a lot of people throw around. Although this was never 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.360 like my thought mentality is that if it's not clean, 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.680 it's dirty for me, that I don't know, dirty wasn't 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:01.960 the certn for me. It was just such a clinging 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:06.440 to clean, clean, clean, clean clean clean. And you know, 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.440 there's so many things that are are disguised as healthful. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:14.200 And there's nothing wrong with eating foods that fall into 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.280 this category of clean, right, like a fruit of vegetable 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:21.480 whatever it is that is clean. But when if you're 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:26.400 only eating clean, you're going to face I promise you, 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:29.800 you know, mental turmoil when the time comes and you're 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:31.960 put in a situation where the foods are not on 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.000 your approved list, which is going to cause you to 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.560 leach onto the cheap, which is going to bring you 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:39.960 back to the clean and back to the cheat, and 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:42.200 you're not in your body at that point. And let's 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:47.200 talk to why it's harmful to put labels on food 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:51.000 such as good and bad, because I've done that for 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:53.560 so long, but that's what we're told, like this is bad, 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.760 this is good, but really food, food can't be bad 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:00.559 or good. Now the nutritious part. You talk me about 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.400 how we have outer wisdom and inner wisdom and does 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.560 that apply here? Okay, So, for example, I know you 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.560 brought up eminem's in a in an episode that we 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.760 recently put up right, and eminem isn't going to have 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.720 the same nutrients as an apple, right, but can we 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:19.080 talk about it in different language that allows us to 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.880 really figure out what we need in that moment, because 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.480 in some situations, the eminem's are exactly what you need 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:28.640 for your soul, for your freedom, for your health. I 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:32.400 know that might sound crazy, but and in other situations 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.000 you might need the apple to feel your best, to 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.200 satisfy what you're going after. But I think the main 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.880 issue with good and bad that is that we've gotten 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.280 so used to saying, oh, that's good for me, that's 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:45.480 bad for me, that's good for me, that's bad for me, 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.920 that it leaches morality too. Oh I ate these eminem's, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.920 I am a bad person, or the other side. I 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.200 had a salad today, I'm such a good person. You know, 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.160 I must carry on by being so good with my diet. 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:59.640 And I think that's kind of where like where I have. 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.600 The big issue with good and bad is that it 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.360 bleeds into our morality, even though we might just be 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:09.240 talking about the food. It leaches onto us as people 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.080 whether we are being good, whether we are being bad. 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:14.640 And again, I know I keep saying that disconnection, but 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.880 as soon as we think that we're being good, we 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.280 get a little self righteous. That's up in the ego. 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.439 That's not the mind, body, as soon as we think 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.760 we're being bad, we get really hard on ourselves and 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.720 guilty and shameful, which is no longer in a state 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:32.080 of connection. So there's nothing wrong with learning about the 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:36.160 nutrition and makeup of food or using that information to 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:40.599 help inform what you want to eat, but that language 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:43.840 can be really really frustrating. I know for me, like 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:45.840 I'll be with my in laws and they're like, I'm 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.880 being so bad, I'm having blah blah blah. And I 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.679 know a lot of people are like my in laws 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.440 or my grandparents. So that's why I also give that 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.760 example sometimes is because it can be really hard to 0:09:56.800 --> 0:10:00.400 be around these people that you love in many ways, 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.600 or your parents even, or your siblings and not want 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.760 to rock the boat, but feel really triggered by the 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.600 language that they're using. So you're both reaching for the 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:13.120 same food and then they're like, oh, I'm being bad, 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.319 I'm going to have it, you know, or this food 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.560 is bad whatever what however they're characterizing, and then all 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.880 of a sudden, they disrupt the experience for you that 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.760 you've just worked to neutralize. You know, you've gotten so 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.800 far where whatever food is just food, and you go 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.320 to grab it and somebody else says, oh, I'm being 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:33.360 so bad, or I need to work out because I'm 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.480 having this tomorrow. They make some sort of a comment. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.840 It's very jolting. I have found, even though I'm not 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:40.760 triggered by it to the point where it will affect 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.920 my behavior, it's like, come on, you know, like, can 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.840 we just enjoy this food without having to announce all 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:50.280 the fears that are coming up for us? And I 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.320 think that's what's happening for a lot of people. There's fear, 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.480 and by speaking about it out loud, which we might 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.480 not realize, it feels like it takes away that bit 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:03.520 of anxiety that it's causing. But really we're just projecting 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:08.640 our mess onto other people. Yeah. I never realized how 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.040 much I projected until I was out of it. When 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.400 I was in it, I didn't see it. But gosh, thankfully, 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.360 a lot of my family that I was projecting onto 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.160 they weren't triggered by me. They were just annoyed by me. 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.320 But I'm sure there's other people I encountered where I 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:28.160 definitely triggered them. And I'm thankful to be in a 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.920 space now where I at least know that I won't 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.760 be that person to someone else, and not that I 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.080 think that I'm better than anybody else by any means. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.000 It took a lot of work and I may slip 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.679 up and mess up, but I just I'm thankful to 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.400 be in a place of growth where I have moved 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:48.440 out of where I once was, which you know again 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:51.599 that it was a lot of projecting, a lot of judgment, 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.160 a lot of shame, a lot of uh. I was 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:57.880 an energy suck, and I was stealing that energy from 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.640 other people that were actually really excited about what we 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.800 were eating, like if my dad had cooked something, or 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.360 my sister and then here I come along trying to 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.079 doctor it or fix it or pull out my serving 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.760 before my dad adds all the good stuff, you know, 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:15.520 And that's just it was me missing out on an experience. 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.720 And some people that know my story, they know that 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.480 I lost my dad in April, and I would literally 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:24.360 give anything to eat one of his meals right now, 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:28.040 like that would be awesome, but I don't have that anymore. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.920 So kind of like in our theme song, outweigh missing 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.840 out on family meals around the table because what Grandma 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:39.400 made is bad, so we're not able, is the lyric 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.160 and maybe if you go back and listen to the 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:46.800 intro song to the podcast, you'll really hear that line. 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.080 It's so important because there are so many meals that 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:54.280 we probably missed out on because we labeled food bad. 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.520 And I think a lot of people fall where I fell, 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.679 and I'm not sure if you fell here, Amy, but 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.839 because I was doing the clean eating or the veganism 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:07.720 for the wrong reasons at the time, I genuinely loved 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:11.360 the foods that I ate, Like I still love vegetables, 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:14.000 and I like salads honestly one of my favorite foods. 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.440 But I do to These are kind of two points. 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.800 One is I remember having my best friend and her 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:22.800 sister over for a meal that I cooked and it 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:25.680 was delicious and serving ice cream that I loved. And 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:29.319 this wasn't real ice cream, this was chemically engineered. Interesting 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:30.880 in my clean eating days by the way, that I 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.440 would also have this chemically engineered food as long as 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.320 it was you know, low calorie and whatever. So I 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.000 found ways to make that fit into the cleanness of it. 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.560 And you know, I loved it because I was so 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.160 used to eating it every night and that was my treat. 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.680 And they were like, what the heck is this, Lisa, 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:50.160 Like this taste disgusting and I was so confused, And 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.240 now if I eat that food, I'm like, Okay, this 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.400 is an ice cream, you know, And we can really 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.440 train our brains and our bodies to like be okay 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.200 with this version of something when in reality it's not 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.600 good at all. When you're swimming in it, it's great. 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.040 Like I'm with you. I think I probably know what 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:08.680 ice cream you're talking about. We don't need to like 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.640 call out brands. But like I would show up to, 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.760 you know, gatherings with people and we would be planning 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.520 on having ice cream that night, and everyone would kind 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.560 of bring ice cream and I would bring that, and 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.000 I thought, oh, I can't wait for everybody to try this. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.320 It's so amazing. And You're right, like so many people 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.480 like added it to their bowl with other ice cream 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:28.960 and they're like, whatever this is, This is not ice cream, 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:31.520 and this is disgusting, and I'm like, oh my gosh, 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:35.160 I could eat a whole point um. So it is 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:36.800 and I couldn't see it at the time, but now 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.720 I'm on the other side, there's no way you would 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.400 catch me even ever buying it. Such hilarious because it 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.440 used to be all that I would buy. Yeah, and 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.160 then the other portion of that is because I loved 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.840 you know, I do love vegetables and whatever. It was 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:50.920 very easy for me to show up to a family 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.800 meal and only eat the foods that are approved by 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.880 me or allowed by me and feel like I was 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.600 eating enough, or that I was still very very present. 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.360 But what I have found, you know, eating the grandma's meal. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.160 I don't have a grandma, but you know, the idea 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.440 of that, eating all the foods that are on the table, 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.960 if that you're being called to them in some way, 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.960 is nourishing at least trying it, you know. And I 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:17.880 encourage anybody who's like, oh no, I don't like blah 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:20.880 blah blah to possibly if it if it's they're you know, 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.640 if there's something being called to you to have that 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.560 food and everybody else is eating it, would you give 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.120 it a try? Would you have one bite? Would you 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:32.040 allow yourself to say, do I actually not like this food? 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:34.120 Or have I just told myself that because I'm so 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.560 safe and comfortable and like these other foods. Because we 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.400 eat for a lot of different reasons, and sometimes being 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:42.680 hyper focused on the foods that we're allowed to eat 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.960 isn't allowing us to fully be present at that meal. 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.280 And once we get to a place where we allow 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.080 ourselves to be fully present, that in itself is a 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:53.960 form of us taking care of ourselves. Like that can 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.680 be seen as a little bit of self care, which 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.160 I know we want to get into. And Lisa, I 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:02.280 saw on Instagram the other day you took yourself on 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:06.560 a lunch date. And to me, that represented self care. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.080 And it's not probably something that we normally think of. 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.840 Some people might think of a bath or a massage 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:17.600 or a facial or getting your hair done or whatever. 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.040 You can speak to it. I don't want to speak 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:23.120 for you, but when I saw it, I thought, good 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:27.040 for her. Look at her taking care of Lisa, and 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.600 I want to do that. Yeah. So dining out alone 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:34.360 has for a long long time been my favorite way 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:37.440 to spend time with myself. And you know, in New 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.120 York where I live, it's very typical to get a 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:44.120 chopped salad and eat it at your desk or if 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.720 you're eating alone. I mean, eating alone isn't really a 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.240 popular thing, but it's something that I started to cultivate 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.440 in college and do while I was single, but also 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.560 while I was in a relationship in this past year 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:57.960 and a half, not going to restaurants as much and everything, 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.560 I just haven't had many opportunities to do so. And 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:02.480 so yesterday I took myself out to lunch and I 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:06.040 had a great time. And the key to for me 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:09.359 is that I'm getting what I want. I'm ordering sides, 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:13.120 I'm getting the bread basket, and I'm really present. And 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.800 so I wrote in that caption, I think that like 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.719 this is my highest form of self care because I 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:22.240 was having a moment with myself that was like yes, 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:26.760 my brain felt relief from everything else. And for me, 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.000 it was a meal out alone. And I think a 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.000 lot of people have trepidation around that. What will people 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.120 think about me? You know what if I ordered too 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:37.560 much food all of that? You know, will that will 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.680 they wait or judge me for eating all of this? 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:44.040 And there's nothing better than just getting what you want, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.520 eating as much as you want of it, putting that 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:49.720 phone down, and being present with yourself. I think that's 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.800 what self care really is for me. Amy It's saying 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:56.040 what do I need right now? And that can look 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.359 like a million things. It might not be a meal out. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.359 For you, it might be getting your hair to right. 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:03.840 For others, it might be a meditation completely free, or 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.480 a bath. But the most important thing is that if 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.600 we don't have these check in moments with ourselves, we 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:14.520 are projecting all of our crap all over the place afterwards. 0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:17.679 And I think that's where self care gets lost in 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:21.560 translation when we see it depicted as manicures and spa days. 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.800 And those are perfectly fine, but what are they doing 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:27.520 for you? Are they giving yourself a chance to just 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.639 be quiet for a moment, be still so that you 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.399 can process all the things that you take on during 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:36.800 the day, Because without that, you're just, like I said, 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:40.080 spilling your mess everywhere, going a million miles an hour, 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:46.679 and ultimately not being your best self. Something that just 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.960 came to mind as you were talking was you got 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:51.800 a hammock recently, and then you sent me the link 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:55.560 and I ordered the hammock. And for me, that hammock 0:18:55.680 --> 0:19:00.000 has been a form of self care because I go outside, 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:04.119 hide and I lay in kind of just relax in 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:08.120 my hammock, and I take deep breaths or I read 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:12.800 a book, and that is my time that I get 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:16.520 and I do leave the hammock slightly rejuvenated. I don't 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.480 want to say I'm like jumping off the handock, like 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:22.200 oh yeah, yes, I'm totally ready to face the day. 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.840 But there's something so soothing about it for me where 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:29.360 it does recharge me a bit in the end. But 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:31.760 it may not be the hammock for you. But there 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:33.880 was there's a time my life where I never would 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:35.800 have ever thought in a million years that a hammock 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:38.520 would have been self care for me. But here we are, well, 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:40.560 I think maybe we think that, you know, you kind 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:42.479 of just highlighted that, maybe we think that we're going 0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:45.840 to leave our time whatever, that we what we put 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:49.600 into ourselves feeling amazing. But I don't think that's the output. 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:52.320 I think the output is you're a better amy for 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.879 the rest of the day because you've taken one minute 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:57.320 to plug in. You're a better mom, you know, all 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:59.359 the roles that you play in life is because you 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:02.880 took one second to refill your cup. That's a better 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:05.080 way to put it, well, not a better way to 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:06.439 put at it, but a better way to kind of 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:09.200 think like, Okay, why are we really doing this? And 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:12.080 especially because so many people feel like it's selfish. I 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.240 can't sit on the hammock. My house is a mess. 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:15.720 I have to pick up my kids. I have to 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:17.959 do this, I have work to do. If I do this, 0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:21.040 I'm lazy. Oh God, the word lazy drives me in say, 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:24.040 and that's probably a whole other topic here, but if 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:27.280 you do not take a moment for yourself to put 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:30.240 your feet on the grass, whatever it is, you are 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:34.320 showing up to the world actually selfish. So I think, 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.680 you know, we hear the phrase all the time, secure 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:39.760 the oxygen mask for yourself before you know your child. 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:42.159 And the idea is, really we need to take a 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:45.119 little bit of care of ourselves in order to be 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:47.960