Speaker 1: I won't let my body out me out wait everything
Speaker 1: that I'm made dope, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who everybody me. It's beautiful
Speaker 1: and then will always out way if you feel it
Speaker 1: with yours in the air, she'll love to the boom. There,
Speaker 1: let's say good day and did you and die out
Speaker 1: hey out way fam Amy and Lisa here and today
Speaker 1: we're gonna be talking about terms that we need to cancel.
Speaker 1: You know, people all over the place are getting canceled
Speaker 1: left and right, which I'm not a big part of
Speaker 1: cancel culture by any means, but these words can definitely
Speaker 1: go and I don't want to hear them anymore. But
Speaker 1: unfortunately it might be a while before we see that
Speaker 1: actually happen. And then we're also going to talk about
Speaker 1: self care and why it isn't selfish. So if you've
Speaker 1: needed any sort of permission for self care, we will
Speaker 1: give you that here today. But Lisa, since you're the
Speaker 1: expert in this field and you know, especially as a
Speaker 1: registered dietitian that is dedicated to you know, helping people
Speaker 1: unlearn a lot of what we have learned much of
Speaker 1: our lives. I mean, I'm forty years old, and I
Speaker 1: feel like I can't remember when exactly clean eating entered
Speaker 1: my space, but that term clean eating, but I know
Speaker 1: that good and bad foods has been around in my
Speaker 1: brain as long as I could remember, like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is good for you, this is bad for you? And
Speaker 1: then I know for sure it was probably around college
Speaker 1: that I was introduced to cheat meals. And these are
Speaker 1: three terms or I guess it maybe even four if
Speaker 1: you count good and bad as too, that I would
Speaker 1: love to go over. And if you could even break down,
Speaker 1: I mean, what even is clean eating? I know that
Speaker 1: how I used to define it. I'm not in the field,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know even as a registered dietitian if
Speaker 1: you learned that in school or that's something you went over.
Speaker 1: And I know that you lean differently than some other dietitians,
Speaker 1: like you're in a different space. So I feel like
Speaker 1: people are like, well, what's wrong with clean eating? How
Speaker 1: could that be harmful? Great? Great question? And to start
Speaker 1: clean eating was a big part of my disordered eating personally.
Speaker 1: Is there anything wrong with eating healthful, nutritious foods that
Speaker 1: I guess technically fall into this clean category. No, But
Speaker 1: for me and many people, we clung to clean eating
Speaker 1: as a way to control what we were eating without
Speaker 1: making it about the obvious weight. So for a lot
Speaker 1: of people it is about the way clean eating, but
Speaker 1: for a lot of people it may also be about
Speaker 1: the healthfulness of the food. I don't know who coined
Speaker 1: the term. I know who is like my leader at
Speaker 1: this time of my disordered eating with clean eating, and
Speaker 1: she's not even relevant, so I'm not even going to
Speaker 1: say her name. But the idea was that, you know,
Speaker 1: there are foods are clean and pure, and then there
Speaker 1: are foods that are tainted with things such as added
Speaker 1: sugars or preservatives or blah blah blah, and if we
Speaker 1: eat clean, we will feel really good, you know, weight
Speaker 1: will naturally come off, and that will be the healthful
Speaker 1: way to live. And I remember the first time I
Speaker 1: heard this being like, Okay, well I love this because
Speaker 1: I was studying nutrition. I was not learning this in school.
Speaker 1: To answer your question, never did clean eating come up
Speaker 1: in my studies. That came up in my personal studies.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, this is great because we're
Speaker 1: not telling people to you know, not eat certain amount
Speaker 1: of calories. There's some freedom to this idea of I
Speaker 1: could eat these foods, but stay away from these foods.
Speaker 1: And the first red flag I could see now not
Speaker 1: at the time, was I need to see a list
Speaker 1: of which foods are clean and which are not. And
Speaker 1: being a really big fan of ketchup and I love
Speaker 1: ketchup and mustard, I know that's like very hit or
Speaker 1: miss with a lot of people, and having to google
Speaker 1: is Ketchup lean? Is Mustard clean? Not really looking for
Speaker 1: a an approved and an unapproved list which would make
Speaker 1: my food making decisions easy again, because that was always
Speaker 1: what it was about for me and my disordered eating.
Speaker 1: Whatever plan I was following, it was about how can
Speaker 1: I default back to not thinking and just follow the
Speaker 1: good and bad or the clean and you know whatever.
Speaker 1: So for me, the problem didn't show up until I
Speaker 1: was faced with situations that were slightly out of my control. So,
Speaker 1: you know, it was easy to eat clean living I was.
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties, cooking all my meals for myself,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. I was easy to do so for
Speaker 1: maybe breakfast, lunch, and dinner most of the time. But
Speaker 1: if I were to dine out with friends. Then it
Speaker 1: was like, wait a second, what oils are they using?
Speaker 1: What else went into this? And it would start to
Speaker 1: cause me massive panic. I couldn't go out for frozen
Speaker 1: yogurt with friends, or if I did and I would
Speaker 1: have some, it would kind of go Your second part
Speaker 1: to your question is Okay, well, then this is my
Speaker 1: cheap meal. This is a break for my clean eating.
Speaker 1: This is my one opportunity to do so. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure tons of people can relate to this. I'm just
Speaker 1: recounting my story for anybody that needs illustration. And while
Speaker 1: that seems like a good balance, it's really not, because
Speaker 1: it really shows that clean eating can be restrictive and
Speaker 1: limiting and not honoring your actual wisdom of what you want.
Speaker 1: And the extreme of the cheat meal is again that
Speaker 1: limited window of I'm allowed to have this, so I'm
Speaker 1: going to have all of it, and a completely disconnected
Speaker 1: experience that oftentimes leads to g I discomfort, mental discomfort,
Speaker 1: and just brings you back to Okay, now I got
Speaker 1: to be clean again, and we need to really take
Speaker 1: a step back to look at that cycle of what
Speaker 1: that's doing to our mental state. I've like softened a
Speaker 1: little bit around, like people saying, Okay, I just eat clean. However,
Speaker 1: I think anyone listening to this podcast, this is language
Speaker 1: that we want to a flag if someone else uses
Speaker 1: around us, because it's triggering, they might speak to other
Speaker 1: things that will cause us to question our relationship to
Speaker 1: food and body and be again, if you're listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast specifically, you have some sort of a history
Speaker 1: of clinging to a food rule. And this is a
Speaker 1: really easy one that gets disguised as oh, no, we're
Speaker 1: not a diet, No no, no, we are different. This
Speaker 1: is a lifestyle. We are cle eating clean. Yeah. It
Speaker 1: felt much better because I said it. It It felt much
Speaker 1: better to say, oh, I'm eating clean than oh I'm
Speaker 1: on a diet. Yeah exactly. I would have never said
Speaker 1: I'm on a diet, but no, I eat clean and
Speaker 1: and and I guess the implication there that I've seen
Speaker 1: a lot of people throw around. Although this was never
Speaker 1: like my thought mentality is that if it's not clean,
Speaker 1: it's dirty for me, that I don't know, dirty wasn't
Speaker 1: the certn for me. It was just such a clinging
Speaker 1: to clean, clean, clean, clean clean clean. And you know,
Speaker 1: there's so many things that are are disguised as healthful.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing wrong with eating foods that fall into
Speaker 1: this category of clean, right, like a fruit of vegetable
Speaker 1: whatever it is that is clean. But when if you're
Speaker 1: only eating clean, you're going to face I promise you,
Speaker 1: you know, mental turmoil when the time comes and you're
Speaker 1: put in a situation where the foods are not on
Speaker 1: your approved list, which is going to cause you to
Speaker 1: leach onto the cheap, which is going to bring you
Speaker 1: back to the clean and back to the cheat, and
Speaker 1: you're not in your body at that point. And let's
Speaker 1: talk to why it's harmful to put labels on food
Speaker 1: such as good and bad, because I've done that for
Speaker 1: so long, but that's what we're told, like this is bad,
Speaker 1: this is good, but really food, food can't be bad
Speaker 1: or good. Now the nutritious part. You talk me about
Speaker 1: how we have outer wisdom and inner wisdom and does
Speaker 1: that apply here? Okay, So, for example, I know you
Speaker 1: brought up eminem's in a in an episode that we
Speaker 1: recently put up right, and eminem isn't going to have
Speaker 1: the same nutrients as an apple, right, but can we
Speaker 1: talk about it in different language that allows us to
Speaker 1: really figure out what we need in that moment, because
Speaker 1: in some situations, the eminem's are exactly what you need
Speaker 1: for your soul, for your freedom, for your health. I
Speaker 1: know that might sound crazy, but and in other situations
Speaker 1: you might need the apple to feel your best, to
Speaker 1: satisfy what you're going after. But I think the main
Speaker 1: issue with good and bad that is that we've gotten
Speaker 1: so used to saying, oh, that's good for me, that's
Speaker 1: bad for me, that's good for me, that's bad for me,
Speaker 1: that it leaches morality too. Oh I ate these eminem's,
Speaker 1: I am a bad person, or the other side. I
Speaker 1: had a salad today, I'm such a good person. You know,
Speaker 1: I must carry on by being so good with my diet.
Speaker 1: And I think that's kind of where like where I have.
Speaker 1: The big issue with good and bad is that it
Speaker 1: bleeds into our morality, even though we might just be
Speaker 1: talking about the food. It leaches onto us as people
Speaker 1: whether we are being good, whether we are being bad.
Speaker 1: And again, I know I keep saying that disconnection, but
Speaker 1: as soon as we think that we're being good, we
Speaker 1: get a little self righteous. That's up in the ego.
Speaker 1: That's not the mind, body, as soon as we think
Speaker 1: we're being bad, we get really hard on ourselves and
Speaker 1: guilty and shameful, which is no longer in a state
Speaker 1: of connection. So there's nothing wrong with learning about the
Speaker 1: nutrition and makeup of food or using that information to
Speaker 1: help inform what you want to eat, but that language
Speaker 1: can be really really frustrating. I know for me, like
Speaker 1: I'll be with my in laws and they're like, I'm
Speaker 1: being so bad, I'm having blah blah blah. And I
Speaker 1: know a lot of people are like my in laws
Speaker 1: or my grandparents. So that's why I also give that
Speaker 1: example sometimes is because it can be really hard to
Speaker 1: be around these people that you love in many ways,
Speaker 1: or your parents even, or your siblings and not want
Speaker 1: to rock the boat, but feel really triggered by the
Speaker 1: language that they're using. So you're both reaching for the
Speaker 1: same food and then they're like, oh, I'm being bad,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have it, you know, or this food
Speaker 1: is bad whatever what however they're characterizing, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, they disrupt the experience for you that
Speaker 1: you've just worked to neutralize. You know, you've gotten so
Speaker 1: far where whatever food is just food, and you go
Speaker 1: to grab it and somebody else says, oh, I'm being
Speaker 1: so bad, or I need to work out because I'm
Speaker 1: having this tomorrow. They make some sort of a comment.
Speaker 1: It's very jolting. I have found, even though I'm not
Speaker 1: triggered by it to the point where it will affect
Speaker 1: my behavior, it's like, come on, you know, like, can
Speaker 1: we just enjoy this food without having to announce all
Speaker 1: the fears that are coming up for us? And I
Speaker 1: think that's what's happening for a lot of people. There's fear,
Speaker 1: and by speaking about it out loud, which we might
Speaker 1: not realize, it feels like it takes away that bit
Speaker 1: of anxiety that it's causing. But really we're just projecting
Speaker 1: our mess onto other people. Yeah. I never realized how
Speaker 1: much I projected until I was out of it. When
Speaker 1: I was in it, I didn't see it. But gosh, thankfully,
Speaker 1: a lot of my family that I was projecting onto
Speaker 1: they weren't triggered by me. They were just annoyed by me.
Speaker 1: But I'm sure there's other people I encountered where I
Speaker 1: definitely triggered them. And I'm thankful to be in a
Speaker 1: space now where I at least know that I won't
Speaker 1: be that person to someone else, and not that I
Speaker 1: think that I'm better than anybody else by any means.
Speaker 1: It took a lot of work and I may slip
Speaker 1: up and mess up, but I just I'm thankful to
Speaker 1: be in a place of growth where I have moved
Speaker 1: out of where I once was, which you know again
Speaker 1: that it was a lot of projecting, a lot of judgment,
Speaker 1: a lot of shame, a lot of uh. I was
Speaker 1: an energy suck, and I was stealing that energy from
Speaker 1: other people that were actually really excited about what we
Speaker 1: were eating, like if my dad had cooked something, or
Speaker 1: my sister and then here I come along trying to
Speaker 1: doctor it or fix it or pull out my serving
Speaker 1: before my dad adds all the good stuff, you know,
Speaker 1: And that's just it was me missing out on an experience.
Speaker 1: And some people that know my story, they know that
Speaker 1: I lost my dad in April, and I would literally
Speaker 1: give anything to eat one of his meals right now,
Speaker 1: like that would be awesome, but I don't have that anymore.
Speaker 1: So kind of like in our theme song, outweigh missing
Speaker 1: out on family meals around the table because what Grandma
Speaker 1: made is bad, so we're not able, is the lyric
Speaker 1: and maybe if you go back and listen to the
Speaker 1: intro song to the podcast, you'll really hear that line.
Speaker 1: It's so important because there are so many meals that
Speaker 1: we probably missed out on because we labeled food bad.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people fall where I fell,
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if you fell here, Amy, but
Speaker 1: because I was doing the clean eating or the veganism
Speaker 1: for the wrong reasons at the time, I genuinely loved
Speaker 1: the foods that I ate, Like I still love vegetables,
Speaker 1: and I like salads honestly one of my favorite foods.
Speaker 1: But I do to These are kind of two points.
Speaker 1: One is I remember having my best friend and her
Speaker 1: sister over for a meal that I cooked and it
Speaker 1: was delicious and serving ice cream that I loved. And
Speaker 1: this wasn't real ice cream, this was chemically engineered. Interesting
Speaker 1: in my clean eating days by the way, that I
Speaker 1: would also have this chemically engineered food as long as
Speaker 1: it was you know, low calorie and whatever. So I
Speaker 1: found ways to make that fit into the cleanness of it.
Speaker 1: And you know, I loved it because I was so
Speaker 1: used to eating it every night and that was my treat.
Speaker 1: And they were like, what the heck is this, Lisa,
Speaker 1: Like this taste disgusting and I was so confused, And
Speaker 1: now if I eat that food, I'm like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is an ice cream, you know, And we can really
Speaker 1: train our brains and our bodies to like be okay
Speaker 1: with this version of something when in reality it's not
Speaker 1: good at all. When you're swimming in it, it's great.
Speaker 1: Like I'm with you. I think I probably know what
Speaker 1: ice cream you're talking about. We don't need to like
Speaker 1: call out brands. But like I would show up to,
Speaker 1: you know, gatherings with people and we would be planning
Speaker 1: on having ice cream that night, and everyone would kind
Speaker 1: of bring ice cream and I would bring that, and
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, I can't wait for everybody to try this.
Speaker 1: It's so amazing. And You're right, like so many people
Speaker 1: like added it to their bowl with other ice cream
Speaker 1: and they're like, whatever this is, This is not ice cream,
Speaker 1: and this is disgusting, and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I could eat a whole point um. So it is
Speaker 1: and I couldn't see it at the time, but now
Speaker 1: I'm on the other side, there's no way you would
Speaker 1: catch me even ever buying it. Such hilarious because it
Speaker 1: used to be all that I would buy. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then the other portion of that is because I loved
Speaker 1: you know, I do love vegetables and whatever. It was
Speaker 1: very easy for me to show up to a family
Speaker 1: meal and only eat the foods that are approved by
Speaker 1: me or allowed by me and feel like I was
Speaker 1: eating enough, or that I was still very very present.
Speaker 1: But what I have found, you know, eating the grandma's meal.
Speaker 1: I don't have a grandma, but you know, the idea
Speaker 1: of that, eating all the foods that are on the table,
Speaker 1: if that you're being called to them in some way,
Speaker 1: is nourishing at least trying it, you know. And I
Speaker 1: encourage anybody who's like, oh no, I don't like blah
Speaker 1: blah blah to possibly if it if it's they're you know,
Speaker 1: if there's something being called to you to have that
Speaker 1: food and everybody else is eating it, would you give
Speaker 1: it a try? Would you have one bite? Would you
Speaker 1: allow yourself to say, do I actually not like this food?
Speaker 1: Or have I just told myself that because I'm so
Speaker 1: safe and comfortable and like these other foods. Because we
Speaker 1: eat for a lot of different reasons, and sometimes being
Speaker 1: hyper focused on the foods that we're allowed to eat
Speaker 1: isn't allowing us to fully be present at that meal.
Speaker 1: And once we get to a place where we allow
Speaker 1: ourselves to be fully present, that in itself is a
Speaker 1: form of us taking care of ourselves. Like that can
Speaker 1: be seen as a little bit of self care, which
Speaker 1: I know we want to get into. And Lisa, I
Speaker 1: saw on Instagram the other day you took yourself on
Speaker 1: a lunch date. And to me, that represented self care.
Speaker 1: And it's not probably something that we normally think of.
Speaker 1: Some people might think of a bath or a massage
Speaker 1: or a facial or getting your hair done or whatever.
Speaker 1: You can speak to it. I don't want to speak
Speaker 1: for you, but when I saw it, I thought, good
Speaker 1: for her. Look at her taking care of Lisa, and
Speaker 1: I want to do that. Yeah. So dining out alone
Speaker 1: has for a long long time been my favorite way
Speaker 1: to spend time with myself. And you know, in New
Speaker 1: York where I live, it's very typical to get a
Speaker 1: chopped salad and eat it at your desk or if
Speaker 1: you're eating alone. I mean, eating alone isn't really a
Speaker 1: popular thing, but it's something that I started to cultivate
Speaker 1: in college and do while I was single, but also
Speaker 1: while I was in a relationship in this past year
Speaker 1: and a half, not going to restaurants as much and everything,
Speaker 1: I just haven't had many opportunities to do so. And
Speaker 1: so yesterday I took myself out to lunch and I
Speaker 1: had a great time. And the key to for me
Speaker 1: is that I'm getting what I want. I'm ordering sides,
Speaker 1: I'm getting the bread basket, and I'm really present. And
Speaker 1: so I wrote in that caption, I think that like
Speaker 1: this is my highest form of self care because I
Speaker 1: was having a moment with myself that was like yes,
Speaker 1: my brain felt relief from everything else. And for me,
Speaker 1: it was a meal out alone. And I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people have trepidation around that. What will people
Speaker 1: think about me? You know what if I ordered too
Speaker 1: much food all of that? You know, will that will
Speaker 1: they wait or judge me for eating all of this?
Speaker 1: And there's nothing better than just getting what you want,
Speaker 1: eating as much as you want of it, putting that
Speaker 1: phone down, and being present with yourself. I think that's
Speaker 1: what self care really is for me. Amy It's saying
Speaker 1: what do I need right now? And that can look
Speaker 1: like a million things. It might not be a meal out.
Speaker 1: For you, it might be getting your hair to right.
Speaker 1: For others, it might be a meditation completely free, or
Speaker 1: a bath. But the most important thing is that if
Speaker 1: we don't have these check in moments with ourselves, we
Speaker 1: are projecting all of our crap all over the place afterwards.
Speaker 1: And I think that's where self care gets lost in
Speaker 1: translation when we see it depicted as manicures and spa days.
Speaker 1: And those are perfectly fine, but what are they doing
Speaker 1: for you? Are they giving yourself a chance to just
Speaker 1: be quiet for a moment, be still so that you
Speaker 1: can process all the things that you take on during
Speaker 1: the day, Because without that, you're just, like I said,
Speaker 1: spilling your mess everywhere, going a million miles an hour,
Speaker 1: and ultimately not being your best self. Something that just
Speaker 1: came to mind as you were talking was you got
Speaker 1: a hammock recently, and then you sent me the link
Speaker 1: and I ordered the hammock. And for me, that hammock
Speaker 1: has been a form of self care because I go outside,
Speaker 1: hide and I lay in kind of just relax in
Speaker 1: my hammock, and I take deep breaths or I read
Speaker 1: a book, and that is my time that I get
Speaker 1: and I do leave the hammock slightly rejuvenated. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say I'm like jumping off the handock, like
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yes, I'm totally ready to face the day.
Speaker 1: But there's something so soothing about it for me where
Speaker 1: it does recharge me a bit in the end. But
Speaker 1: it may not be the hammock for you. But there
Speaker 1: was there's a time my life where I never would
Speaker 1: have ever thought in a million years that a hammock
Speaker 1: would have been self care for me. But here we are, well,
Speaker 1: I think maybe we think that, you know, you kind
Speaker 1: of just highlighted that, maybe we think that we're going
Speaker 1: to leave our time whatever, that we what we put
Speaker 1: into ourselves feeling amazing. But I don't think that's the output.
Speaker 1: I think the output is you're a better amy for
Speaker 1: the rest of the day because you've taken one minute
Speaker 1: to plug in. You're a better mom, you know, all
Speaker 1: the roles that you play in life is because you
Speaker 1: took one second to refill your cup. That's a better
Speaker 1: way to put it, well, not a better way to
Speaker 1: put at it, but a better way to kind of
Speaker 1: think like, Okay, why are we really doing this? And
Speaker 1: especially because so many people feel like it's selfish. I
Speaker 1: can't sit on the hammock. My house is a mess.
Speaker 1: I have to pick up my kids. I have to
Speaker 1: do this, I have work to do. If I do this,
Speaker 1: I'm lazy. Oh God, the word lazy drives me in say,
Speaker 1: and that's probably a whole other topic here, but if
Speaker 1: you do not take a moment for yourself to put
Speaker 1: your feet on the grass, whatever it is, you are
Speaker 1: showing up to the world actually selfish. So I think,
Speaker 1: you know, we hear the phrase all the time, secure
Speaker 1: the oxygen mask for yourself before you know your child.
Speaker 1: And the idea is, really we need to take a
Speaker 1: little bit of care of ourselves in order to be
Speaker 1: the roles that we signed up to be, that we
Speaker 1: have a responsibility to be that we want to really be.
Speaker 1: And I also just want to highlight I don't know
Speaker 1: if anyone's watching the Olympics or watch the Olympics, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you saw what Simone Biles did, she
Speaker 1: really prioritized her her mental health. And I think, although
Speaker 1: this is a controversial topic and very hard for people
Speaker 1: to understand, how this is self care, that was a
Speaker 1: radical act of self care in the public eye that
Speaker 1: has has really changed the conversation around the way we
Speaker 1: push ourselves and the way we care for ourselves. And
Speaker 1: it was really cool to see such a young person
Speaker 1: in such a high pressured situation say I'm actually not
Speaker 1: going to compete because I need a moment. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean in her for her to recognize that if she's
Speaker 1: not fully there mentally, like she could seriously injure herself
Speaker 1: or you know, it just wasn't the right time for her.
Speaker 1: And yes, she was able to step by and recognize that.
Speaker 1: And then I saw Justin Bieber put up a post
Speaker 1: about her, which I follow him. Yes, and um, I
Speaker 1: was very impressed by And I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: the guy right, so I don't know, but I'm just
Speaker 1: going based off He's a child that grew up in
Speaker 1: the spotlight, had major success as a young teen, and
Speaker 1: then was thrown into this world of like go, go go,
Speaker 1: and this is what's expected of you. And I love
Speaker 1: that he was able to give her props for doing
Speaker 1: what she needed to do to mentally be there. I mean,
Speaker 1: look at what the heck is going on with Britney Spears, Like,
Speaker 1: there's all kinds of people that are in the spotlight
Speaker 1: that have this immense amount of pressure on them to
Speaker 1: perform and it doesn't matter at what cost because so
Speaker 1: many people are relying on them. And I mean, think
Speaker 1: about Simone. She was the weight of America USA on
Speaker 1: her back, right of like letting down a country that
Speaker 1: you're at an event representing, and the controversy online about
Speaker 1: it was just wild to me. I thought, how could
Speaker 1: we not be supporting her in this decision, But of
Speaker 1: course there's people that weren't. But back to the whole
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber thing, I just thought his post was so
Speaker 1: it was great because again he's a young person too
Speaker 1: that a lot of people are looking to. And at
Speaker 1: one point he had to completely just shut down his
Speaker 1: tour for his mental health, and he said that people,
Speaker 1: you know, at the bottom of his sin. He was
Speaker 1: like someone people thought I was crazy when I did that,
Speaker 1: but it's literally what I had to do for my
Speaker 1: well being and my mental health. So hats off to you.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's great that we're getting such public examples,
Speaker 1: but I think sometimes when we bring this home to
Speaker 1: me and you to our listeners, we feel like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not Justin Bieber you know, I have no no
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of thinking about that out loud, because
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember a few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: you know, I had to self care isn't always to
Speaker 1: highlight that self care is not always that manicure and
Speaker 1: that pedicure and how we see it. Sometimes it's really
Speaker 1: making the hard choice and letting people down and showing
Speaker 1: people our weaknesses. Like Amy, you and I run this
Speaker 1: podcast together and to humanize it for a minute, sometimes
Speaker 1: we're going through things and we can't show up as
Speaker 1: our best podcast hosts. And two weeks ago I had
Speaker 1: to five minutes before be like, Amy, can you handle
Speaker 1: this one? Because I just I need the hour off,
Speaker 1: you know. And I felt selfish right for a moment,
Speaker 1: but because I shared with you, you know, the pain
Speaker 1: point for me, and we respect mental health, I had
Speaker 1: to do that so that the podcast, you know, could
Speaker 1: also have the greatest opportunity to be fantastic. And so
Speaker 1: I think sometimes the self care is is sitting out,
Speaker 1: is making hard choices and sacrifices that in the moment
Speaker 1: don't feel like they reflect who you want to be,
Speaker 1: but you need to make them in order to make
Speaker 1: it out and be okay. If that makes sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think being able to have people that if
Speaker 1: it's a work situation, that you're able to be honest
Speaker 1: with and open up and share and have that like
Speaker 1: a healthy dialogue. I do realize that some people listening,
Speaker 1: and when you brought up how we weren't justin Bieber,
Speaker 1: like my brain automatically went to, oh, yeah, shoot, like
Speaker 1: we also are people that, including us, but a lot
Speaker 1: of our listeners to they don't have the luxury of
Speaker 1: canceling whatever they're doing because they have bills to pay, right,
Speaker 1: But maybe what you can start to cultivate if you
Speaker 1: don't have yet is a team, a relationship with coworkers,
Speaker 1: a relationship with your boss where you can be transparent
Speaker 1: and like, hey, like you're a hard worker, right, Well
Speaker 1: I'm I'm assuming, but let's say that you are. But
Speaker 1: if you do start to and I get not everybody
Speaker 1: can have this relationship. So this is me being in
Speaker 1: lala land. But my hope would be that you can
Speaker 1: have someone on your side that you can go to.
Speaker 1: That's where you can say I can't show up today
Speaker 1: as best as I can, Like, is there any way
Speaker 1: you can cover me? When it's coming from a genuine
Speaker 1: place of like really needing help, not abusing a relationship
Speaker 1: by any means. I hate that my brain even jumps
Speaker 1: to that. But it really needs to come from a
Speaker 1: place of understanding. But that comes you and I having that.
Speaker 1: That comes from you know, back when I was going
Speaker 1: through the loss of my dad and a bunch of
Speaker 1: other things, like you showed up for me when I
Speaker 1: couldn't show up, and so we have that that mutual understanding.
Speaker 1: But it's because we communicate and we share things, and
Speaker 1: some people can be so guarded in private, which there
Speaker 1: is something to that. I'm not saying like air everything
Speaker 1: out to the world, But who can you start to
Speaker 1: build that I'm going to call it a team for
Speaker 1: lack of a better who can be in your corner,
Speaker 1: whether it's at work, home, life, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1: Who are your people that you can lean into so
Speaker 1: that you can take that time for yourself, whatever it
Speaker 1: may look like. If the rainy day comes and you
Speaker 1: have to cultivate it. You can't just like boom, put
Speaker 1: it out there and then expect someone. But because that
Speaker 1: relationship was built and I understood where Lisa was coming from,
Speaker 1: she understood where I was coming from, it was like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, this is for real, like she needs this.
Speaker 1: And sometimes a good cry is a great form of
Speaker 1: self care. So if you can't get out of your
Speaker 1: work meeting, your work, this or whatever, you don't have
Speaker 1: a coworker to help you out, but you got to
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom for five minutes and just cry
Speaker 1: it out, give yourself that release. And that's just kind
Speaker 1: of what I want to like frame here today is
Speaker 1: that it's not always pretty. However, I think that us,
Speaker 1: everyone listening here, has the power to transform the next
Speaker 1: generation's viewpoint on self care. I had Serenader on my
Speaker 1: podcast and she talked about her mother who had a
Speaker 1: met you met, a very serious meditation practice every day
Speaker 1: and if her mom was in this one room, the
Speaker 1: door was on do not disturb, you know. And I
Speaker 1: think for a lot of people it's like, no, I
Speaker 1: can't meditate, I don't have time to meditate. But this
Speaker 1: actually sets such an important boundary slash the way to
Speaker 1: live that can give future parents or future people permission
Speaker 1: to recognize that recharging is essential to showing up as
Speaker 1: your true, best, fullest, most authentic self. And that could
Speaker 1: again just look like so many things, but just don't
Speaker 1: be limited by the idea that it has to cost
Speaker 1: a lot, or that it um has to be something
Speaker 1: even vanity related. I think that's really I think my
Speaker 1: my most important self care things that I do for
Speaker 1: myself probably I wouldn't want anyone to see me during Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, so we'll just leave you all with the
Speaker 1: hashtags self care isn't selfish? Yes? Sure, And thank you
Speaker 1: all for listening to this episode. I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: I know we covered a couple of different types of things,
Speaker 1: but I think all important. And we just hope that
Speaker 1: you're enjoying out wigh, And if you haven't subscribed to
Speaker 1: the podcast, that you will do so wherever you listen,
Speaker 1: and you can even write and review if you happen
Speaker 1: to have time for that, but we do realize your
Speaker 1: time is precious, so thank you for listening. See your
Speaker 1: next Saturday