1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and welcome to stuff I've never 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: told you, but actually I r radio. Okay, Anny, I 3 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: have questions for you, and you know what, I don't 4 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 1: actually know if I know this answer. Oh, okay, all right. 5 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: Have you ever used a dating site or dating app? No? 6 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: I have not. I did a long time ago. I 7 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: did look at okay Cupid because at the time it 8 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 1: was like the free one, right, and I was just curious, 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: like questions that asked you, So I kind of like 10 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: went through it, but then I didn't go through. I 11 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: was just curious what it what the whole deal was. No, 12 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: I've never used one. Actually, So how do you typically 13 00:00:55,280 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: meet a partner when you were dating? Usually I would 14 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: just meet through either work or like fun things that 15 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: I like to do, because before this whole pandemic, I 16 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: was a very active, socially active person, and so I 17 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: would meet people through like friends of friends or something. Yeah. 18 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: Usually you're you're the one that's infamous for accidentally dating people. 19 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 1: That is me. I feel like that's a wrong comment itself, 20 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 1: and it could be a queer one, and I want 21 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: to see it. Accidentally dating, Yes, accidentally dating? Yeah, So 22 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: I actually that's how I kind of dated completely. Like I, 23 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: even though I'm older, I've never been really good at 24 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: meeting people. And I don't know if it's because I 25 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: just have this shy like persona or if I'm just 26 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: a really loud and intimidating persona, whichever, but typically in 27 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: high school I'll only have like two relationships at best, 28 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: maybe one. I can't even remember, that's how well I remember. 29 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: And in college I never dated ever. And then after 30 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: college I was like, okay. And of course a lot 31 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: of us had to do with my own body issues 32 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: and you know, as we're talking about a lot of 33 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: my self esteemed stuff, my identity issues, like that's a 34 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: big part of like I don't, I can't um. I 35 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: think part of it is also watching my family go 36 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: through relationships and not my mom and dad. My mom 37 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: and dad have been together forever and are very happy, 38 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: like we celebrated their fiftieth anniversary recently, but my siblings, 39 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: each one of them have gone through their message and 40 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm good, I'm good, thank you very much. 41 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: But yeah, so when I started dating, it was through yeah, 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: I think it's okay, Cupid, And it was after I 43 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: had gotten my job, had gotten to a point where 44 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, maybe I'm adult, now let's do this. 45 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: I did get set up on a couple of days, 46 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: but I found out quickly that it's a bad idea 47 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: for people to set me up, especially if they're friends 48 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: with them. And I told them that because my perspective 49 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: is after we're done, they shouldn't exist. I need them 50 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,239 Speaker 1: to go into the world of excess where I never 51 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: see them again. Like that's kind of how I feel 52 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: like it should be. Maybe I think getting older, I've 53 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: gotten better about that, but at that point I was like, no, 54 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: I don't ever want to see you again, because you 55 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: are a picture of my failure or your failure or 56 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: something weird. So I went through online dating and I 57 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: wasn't very successful until about how honestly, even like thirties, 58 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: I didn't get really good days. And even then my 59 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: relationships didn't last very long. And of course my partner 60 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: and I are together because of location like that, and 61 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: I mean, it's worked out nicely, But the thing is, 62 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: like that's the only way I knew how to meet people. 63 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: So I just wondered, like, huh, what was it like 64 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: before dating apps? And I guess it I mean to 65 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: be fair again, I'm in my partnership not because of 66 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: a dating app. But interestingly enough, the one time I didn't, 67 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: I guess, oh yeah, and I have Actually it's Katie, 68 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: you're gonna hear on this very episode. I have a 69 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 1: friend Katie who she used to ask me like, she's 70 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: somebody who was very always wanting to go on dates 71 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: and be with people, and then O jextaposed next to 72 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: me who's sort of always accidentally dating, and she would 73 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: get really annoyed by it, and she'd be like, what, 74 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: how do you meet people? And I would say like, well, 75 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: you try not to like you You're basically find stuff 76 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: you like that you like and go do that stuff. 77 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: And then I don't know, teaser. That's a teaser. Yeah. 78 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: And you know what, I've been thinking about this, and 79 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: we've been talking about this before, but relationships in general, 80 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: how difficult it can be. And as we're rounding out 81 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: this year of lockdown or stay at home orders, a 82 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: lot of people are getting access a to vaccines. We 83 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: know there's a lot more to be done, but you 84 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: know it is slowly being distributed and actually being accessible. 85 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: And I think, honestly, we are all looking back about 86 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: how we've learned to cope. We're probably one of the 87 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: most complicated times for us, especially our generation, especially in dating, 88 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 1: and so we wanted to do a review of what 89 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: it has been like and including I will say, for 90 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 1: my friends who have been single during this time, it's 91 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 1: been interesting to watch them to see how and what 92 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 1: their reaction is and their dating habits. And I have 93 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: some really good stories, like they they slowed down, but 94 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: not slow down, I think one of the parts. And 95 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: I remember I would often delete and often re as 96 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: re download because it was fun the initials. Flirting is fun, 97 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: Swiping it's fun, and all of these things and trying 98 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: to get to know people. There is something really interesting, 99 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,799 Speaker 1: almost like a game. I know, we talked about tender 100 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: and how did it originally come from Hot or Not? 101 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: And you just swipe on who's hot and who's not 102 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: and it was just a really superficial and really kind 103 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: of main gay aim. But it's kind of what tender 104 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 1: it seems like it came from, except it didn't beick 105 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: up much hookup culture, And of course they paid millions 106 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: and millions, if not billions of dollars as one of 107 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: the bigger developers of these dating apps, and I think, 108 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: during quarantine, what else do you have if you're not 109 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: in a relationship, right, Like, why not why not try 110 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 1: to talk and flirt while you're stuck at home? And 111 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: so we did want to take a review of what 112 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: did quarantine do for our dating, for our relationships and 113 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: all of such. Yeah. Yeah, And it's one of the 114 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: reasons I never got into online dating because I was 115 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: actually pretty I mean, I was judgmental of it at first, 116 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: but I'm quickly became the category of oh no, this 117 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: is working for people, so why not? It's just my sense. 118 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: I was really insecure, and I was like, what if 119 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: they all swipe? No? What if I never get So 120 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: that was one thing in my head, and then another 121 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: was I don't know why I made such a big 122 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: deal out of this, because it's not a big deal 123 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 1: at all. But I was like, what if, Like I 124 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: see an X on there, like a good male friend 125 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 1: of mine, but my world can't collide? Like those are 126 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: the best moments where you start taking screenshots and sitting 127 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: at the people do you see this? Yeah? No, Katie 128 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: has sent me though she keeps me high, like up 129 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: to date on her dating adventures and She'll send me like, oh, 130 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: what's this guy he's on here, and I'm like, you know, 131 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with it, But there was some part 132 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: of me that was like, I'm embarrassed to know that 133 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 1: these friends of mine will know that I'm looking for somebody. Yeah, 134 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: that stigma, which I think we've come a long way from. 135 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: It's kind of like it's again. The only way I 136 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: really dated was through online asked because that's where I 137 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: was able to at least represent myself and felt like, 138 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: at least I can get to know you a little bit. 139 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: And it pushed also to going really fast in relationships. 140 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: I feel like where I felt I already knew you. 141 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: So even though this is date one, it's like date 142 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: five right. Dating in the time of like internet searches, 143 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: So we do have some stats and past looks of 144 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: how dating relationships for people overall. According to a BBC 145 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: article from December, a law firm logged a one d 146 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: two increase in divorce inquiries between July and October of 147 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: last year compared to the year before, and in the US, 148 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: a contract creation site noted a thirty percent rise in 149 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: basic divorce agreement sales, with the sad fact that newlyweds 150 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: made up of those sales, and similar numbers were also 151 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: reported in China and Sweden during the lockdown. But one 152 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: of the questions is why. Of course, there seems to 153 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: be the obvious answers, including the overall stress of this time, 154 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,559 Speaker 1: the changes, and even monetary issues, which is already can 155 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: be very sensitive topic within relationships, but also it seems 156 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: something that's different about this is that it's actually women 157 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: who are initiating the divorces. The same law firm said 158 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: seventy six percent of the new cases have been initiated 159 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 1: by women, which was only six in the previous year, 160 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 1: and one lawyer speculated that one of the main reasons 161 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: is the unequal amount of household responsibilities each partner is 162 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: taking on, such as childcare. That makes sense to me 163 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:15,199 Speaker 1: right and unsurprisingly being single and trying to mingle isn't 164 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: any easier. Many have reported that not only being under quarantine, 165 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: our stay at home orders are making dating difficult, but 166 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: the overall morale of the current situation is making it 167 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: hard to actually have a good connection or impression. But 168 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: the day difficulties aren't just because of the last year, 169 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: as in fact, according to one box report quote nearly 170 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 1: half of Americans say dating is harder now than ten 171 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: years ago. But that doesn't mean people aren't trying. As 172 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: you may have already figured out and we've talked about before, 173 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: online dating has become the preferred method of meeting people 174 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: for a while now, like like I said, that's the 175 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: only way I actually met people, and has been doing 176 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: well before the pandemic, and it has that really slowed down. Wow. 177 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: In fact, in March, Tender had its highest number of 178 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: swipes in a day, a record setting it three billion, 179 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: and apps like okay Cupid saw a seven increase in 180 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: dates from March to May of And though many have 181 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: not been meeting up face to face as much, a 182 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: lot of people and a lot of companies found creative 183 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: ways to take the relationship forward. Companies like Bumble and 184 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 1: Grinder included face to face video chats, while companies like 185 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: Tender also offered face to face chat, but much like 186 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: its original app, makes it quick and easily dismissible, so 187 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: I swiping, I guess move on, and Tender has recently 188 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: gone as far as offering COVID tests, and other apps 189 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,719 Speaker 1: like Bumble, I've been using badges to indicate like your 190 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 1: vaccination status, I guess where you are with COVID in general, 191 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: which will let individuals see right off the bat if 192 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: they are battle Have you ever used bumble m So 193 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: I haven't been on it in years, so I don't 194 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: quite know, but used to. It would tell you if 195 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: they would verify you as a person, so you weren't 196 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,439 Speaker 1: cat fishing someone. Uh, you had to get these badges 197 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: of like nice and soda. It actually has a way 198 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: of kind of not rating, but essentially letting you know 199 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: where they stand. Of course, a lot of people will 200 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 1: automatically put in Trump supporter or Hillary supporter or all 201 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: of these things, so you know immediately what political affiliation 202 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: they may have. So to add to this is the 203 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: COVID notifications like are you COVID denier? Okay, we may not. 204 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 1: Online And though there is a pandemic, people have been 205 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 1: really creative in their dating. For example, we had that 206 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: dude who rented himself a bubble to go on a 207 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: date with someone he saw across the rooftop. Did you 208 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 1: see that little TikTok? It was cute. And there's been 209 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: many who have talked about social distas dating, a two 210 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,599 Speaker 1: week quarantine and COVID test dating, So for having this conversation, 211 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: all right, in two weeks, we're gonna get our tests 212 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: and then we're in meat and the many many zoom dates. Uh, 213 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: talking about kind of the whole zoom fatigue and the 214 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: video converse fatigue. But as one person has stated in 215 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: one of the articles, that if it's a good date, 216 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:12,719 Speaker 1: you don't even notice. Apparently, as I was looking through 217 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: all of these, I saw the new top lists for 218 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: dating apps because for a little while I did follow 219 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:20,959 Speaker 1: them because I really wanted the best results for me. 220 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: There's a site called Okay Zoomer, and I originally thought 221 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: I had something to do with the fact that was zoomed, 222 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: but it's actually having to do with the fact that 223 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: they're in college and you have to be in college 224 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: to be able to be on the site. But I 225 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 1: thought it was a cute name. There are other sites 226 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: like love is Blind people who love that show. There's 227 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: an actual app called love is Quarantine and apparently you 228 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 1: have to be on a Google doc for that and 229 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:45,199 Speaker 1: there's a little waiting list. Yes, so you know what, hey, 230 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,839 Speaker 1: you do you all these sites are great. We also 231 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 1: wanted to know because we're kind of nosy and you 232 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: are fam it was going for some of you, and 233 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: so of course we had to reach out to get 234 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: some stories. And there's some good stories and shout out 235 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,439 Speaker 1: to all of you who are I didn't have to 236 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 1: share with us. So yeah, we're gonna go ahead and 237 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: pull up. Are you ready for some of these stories 238 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: from y'all? And they're fantastic. There's some of the marshal 239 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: sweet they are. They're so great. But before we get 240 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: into them, we're gonna pause for a quip brick for 241 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: words for our sponsored and we're back, Thank you sponsor. 242 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: Al Right, so let's let's get into these stories that 243 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: you wonderful listeners have sent to us, starting with Denise, 244 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: my quarantine love story. I'm American and was living in 245 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: New York City and was dating my Canadian boo who 246 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 1: lived in Montreal. Then the pandemic hit and the borders closed. 247 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: Sad face. We didn't know how long it would be. 248 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: We were both unemployed, so we got to talk all day, 249 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: played a lot of animal crossing together and visited each 250 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: other's islands. It didn't make me feel so lonely, but 251 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: then after five months, the border just seemed to be closed. Forever, 252 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 1: but we found a loophole. Canadians were allowed to fly 253 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: to the United States, but not the other way around. 254 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: We decided to say and get married so I could 255 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: go back to Canada with him. Kind of crazy, but god, 256 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: we did it. The border still continues to be closed, 257 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: so I'm happy we did it all. Congratulations. There's a 258 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: point for Animal Crossing, another way to connect with people. Yes, 259 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: I wonder if Animal Crossing has thought about doing a 260 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 1: dating app. Oh, I am sure, I am sure. I 261 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: feel like this could be a money maker. And then 262 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: we've got a story from Adriana. She said dated a girl. 263 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: Within the first few weeks, things were great. She planned, yes, planned, 264 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: a high school aged makeout session in the back of 265 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 1: my car. I reluctantly agreed. We spent the next hour 266 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: in the back seat. The real kick is that she 267 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: legitimately booped me in a nose after the hookup, like 268 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: straight up boop. And I've never been able to look 269 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: at the Indie Taco parking a lot the same way. 270 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: My response was like wait what, I was like, I 271 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: don't I don't know how I would have responded to that, like, 272 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: not only have we done this really fun, but different situation, 273 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: but then it's the which I like a job well done. 274 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm sure it was a job well done. 275 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: Can we have this one from Marie? Hello? First of all, 276 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: I want to say I love the show and listening 277 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: to you both has got me through this whole pandemic 278 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: world we've been living in lately. Oh thank you. Here's 279 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 1: my story. My boyfriend and I started dating in June 280 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: of twenty nineteen. Things were going super well and we 281 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 1: were spending tons of time together towards the end of 282 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 1: the year. We talked about moving in together at the start, 283 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: but then the pandemic hit, and since we were both 284 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: working from home and only hanging out with each other, 285 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: he asked me if i'd want to move in together 286 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: in May. So we did, and then the day after 287 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: we settled in, we impulsively adopted our dog and love 288 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: of our lives go more. Uh. The pandemic definitely accelerated 289 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: the rate at which our relationship moved, mostly due to 290 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: all the time we've spent together, and probably because of 291 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,359 Speaker 1: the shared trauma that comes with going through one's first pandemic. 292 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: Smile Race. I'll send some pictures up Gomorra too, So 293 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: you can admire her. Thank you both so much for 294 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: making the show as great as it is. Hard stop much. 295 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: I've actually heard this from some of my friends that 296 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: it accelerated relationships in a good way. Like, yeah, some 297 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: of these stories are definitely like that, and honestly, for 298 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: myself it's actually helped. The first part was a little rough, 299 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: but towards it and like being it together has been 300 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: really and I've talked about it before has been really 301 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 1: nice and expectedly nice and so yeah, I definitely have 302 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: seen these stories too, which it's nice to see. After 303 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: we just talked about all the divorce rates. And then 304 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: from Stephanie disclaimer. She says, I met my current boyfriend 305 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: on dating app during quarantine and things have been going 306 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: very well for nine months now. Okay, but in April 307 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: I match with They quote very a fined national sports 308 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: reporter on tender. Oh, I really wish you could have 309 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: gotten the name. He messaged me. We were chatting and 310 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 1: within fifteen minutes he asked if I would go to 311 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: his place. I of course said no, and he pressured 312 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: me and tried to reassure me that he was safe. 313 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: He eventually unmatched me, but I had the satisfaction to 314 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: know I turned down a well known persona for my health. 315 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,680 Speaker 1: Good for you. And this is where I also will 316 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: be like guys are trashed. Yeah, well this is this 317 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 1: is I mean, that's one thing, even not as someone 318 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 1: who're dating, but the layer of like pandemic judgment, what 319 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 1: are you doing? It was safe to you and all 320 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 1: the Yeah, and you realize we have two very different 321 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: definitions of quarantining. Yeah. From Teagan, Hi, I was dating 322 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: a guy. We met pre quarantine, and then I went 323 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: to stay with family. I came back to New York. 324 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: We started seeing each other. I have an exclusive combo 325 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: because COVID. We sleep together. He gives me after a 326 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: few months. This is early December. I guess you could 327 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: say he kept me warm. Uh would comment on my 328 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: stuff the occasional text. I find out in January he 329 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 1: was dating someone at the entire time, and she posted 330 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:23,199 Speaker 1: this sappy post documenting their relationship. Example, she was with 331 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 1: him on Halloween. I saw him the next day. Thankfully 332 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 1: I didn't get COVID, but I'm still annoyed. I guess 333 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: I'm grateful I got laid in because I had had 334 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 1: been a while, but it wasn't good enough for the 335 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 1: drama again, that sucks. Sucks during a quarantine, like, come on, 336 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: quarantine family, Oh my gosh, like you know you have 337 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: your like other families quarantine. Oh jeez, is there a 338 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: quarantine family? No, I don't you know what they're very 339 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 1: well might beam this guy. That reminds me of the 340 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: like way back early in the pandemic and entering a 341 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,880 Speaker 1: lockdown when SNL was still like doing it from their homes, 342 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: and that they had that skit about basically women being 343 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: like are you a man that's living? I'll be there, 344 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: So it's like a dating show, like I don't care 345 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 1: anything about you. Where are you? Let's go? Remember that 346 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: was that with the fete I can't I think he 347 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: was on it and they were all talking about how 348 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 1: they vibrators didn't work or something. Yes, I feel that 349 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 1: was funny. That's one of the ads that I saw, 350 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: not I think someone that we followed and had on 351 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,199 Speaker 1: the show talking about their sex toys and like, hey, 352 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: quarantine maybe slowed down, but these are still useful. And yes, agreed, 353 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 1: because the drama is not always worth it. Sometimes it 354 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 1: is so from Anna, she says, I so look forward 355 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: to the dating and COVID episode here. It is my story. 356 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: I just left a job that drained me so much 357 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 1: I stopped dating for six plus months. Been there when 358 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 1: quarantine began. Just celebrated one year at a much healthier 359 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: job author February. As I got ready to move, I 360 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: was excited to get to start living my life. I 361 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: work in residential life for a college and that really 362 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:20,440 Speaker 1: hambergs dating as a woman in her early thirties, dating 363 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 1: more and getting healthy, that's what she's looking forward to. 364 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: My first day of the new job, they canceled classes 365 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: for the week, and the following week we went remote. 366 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: I just got the first advisor yea, and I'm excited 367 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 1: to start being social with people again. It's been a 368 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: lonely year and I hope to be more open in 369 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: dating going forward. And she said keep out the awesome 370 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: work with Sminthya. Thank you. I told her that she 371 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: needed to keep us updated because that this was before 372 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 1: I got my shot and you got yours, I think, 373 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,639 Speaker 1: and so let us know what was like in the 374 00:20:52,680 --> 00:21:02,880 Speaker 1: weird world my real world. To keep from Rachel my 375 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 1: pandemic dating experience is that it's a crapshoot that doesn't 376 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: even result any good conversation, nobody worthwhile to give my 377 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: Instagram handle, to let alone number or make plans with 378 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: It sucks because early on things weren't too bad, but 379 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 1: by October total garbage experience that never looked up. I 380 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 1: do have a friend who found a boyfriend from bumble 381 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 1: In in y c. Though, and they're adorable and planning 382 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 1: for a future after a couple of bumps in the 383 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,879 Speaker 1: road of poor communication and past relationships. Cars messing with them, 384 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,920 Speaker 1: which is common. And Rachel has some really good tactics 385 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: and great questions. So if y'all are interested, you know, 386 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: Rachel my share with you. Because it wasn't really fun, 387 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, she had like just generic questions. 388 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: I used to ask people what their favorite tree was. 389 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: That didn't get a lot of attention. Oh, that's shocking 390 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: to me. I don't understand. I feel like that's a 391 00:21:53,960 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 1: good question. What is my favorite tree? It's a willow? Actually, Oh, 392 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: I feel like that tells a lot about a person. 393 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 1: We'll see. It's funny because I know I've talked about 394 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,719 Speaker 1: it before, but I went and saw Hitch when I 395 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: was in college, and so he said, always ask about 396 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: something fun. So they associate you. Was fun. But now 397 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: anytime someone does that, I assume they're doing this hitch thing, 398 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: even if they're probably not. Like I'm like, did you 399 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 1: get are you trying to flirt? And like no, you know. 400 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:28,360 Speaker 1: For a little while, I thought about doing a kind 401 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: of a short story on all the dates that I've 402 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,879 Speaker 1: gone on, because for for a little while I was 403 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: getting some good ones and it just became more and 404 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: more fun. I had one dude who was trying to 405 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 1: do this whole program and he was in the middle 406 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: of working it out and I looked at it was like, 407 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: and that just Google Plus, and he got so bad 408 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: at me, which was because it's like, you have your 409 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: friends and your friends connected with this way. These are 410 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 1: strugles and you do that. I'm like, that's Google Plus. 411 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 1: Uh this is right when Google Plus was coming out, 412 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't know if you're too wait 413 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: or if you're trying to revamp the system. I guess 414 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: it's not too late now since Google Plus is gone, Right, 415 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: that's true. Now the time for this guy. Go for it, dude. 416 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 1: I don't remember what your name is, but go for it. 417 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: This one comes from Vic who said I was friends 418 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend. Before everything kicked off, a bunch of 419 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: us used to go for a pint after work on Friday. 420 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: The UK went into lockdown at the end of March, 421 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,439 Speaker 1: but things eased up over the summer. At the end 422 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,640 Speaker 1: of August, one of our friends moved houses and had 423 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: some people for the garden. From drinks, we got chatting 424 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: and he was about to move to the other side 425 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: of the country for a job. So after the whole 426 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: night of us ignoring our other friends, we realized something 427 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,520 Speaker 1: was going on and got together over the two weeks 428 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: before he moved. Because of the strict lockdown, especially in Scotland, 429 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,439 Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other in persons November and probably 430 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 1: won't until the end of April. I've never done long 431 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: business before, and while we connected on such a good 432 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 1: emotional level through text and video call, I can't wait 433 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: to actually be in the same room again. However, as 434 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 1: we both live alone, I worried the flat will fill 435 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: clustrophobic in a different way when there's another person in 436 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 1: the space and we'll just get annoyed with each other. 437 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: Going on dates with new people or on apps during 438 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: quarantine sounds awful, so I'm glad I snapped him up 439 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: when I did. But it's so hard not being able 440 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: to even just have a nice cuddle or for someone 441 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: else to cook dinner when one of us is tired 442 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: because of being so far apart. That sweet though, I 443 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: love that. I did ask also when she said as 444 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: this if they had already made plans to see each other, 445 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: because you know, I'm thinking that's probably one of the 446 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: first things they did, and she did respond sing, yeah, 447 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 1: he's going to come and stay for a bit when 448 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 1: Scotland England travel is allowed again, as we have a 449 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: bit of flexibility without working remotely when term ends. Apparently 450 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: they're both in academics. With all respect to our students, 451 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: the end of term can't come quickly enough and I think, yeah, 452 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: you're not the only one. I think a lot of 453 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: teachers would agree with you. So yeah, thank you again 454 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 1: for sending that. We wanted to talk a little more, 455 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 1: and we decided we needed to have an extended conversation 456 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,320 Speaker 1: by doing a Q and A with a friend of 457 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 1: the show and of course a longtime friend of yours Annie. Yes, Katie. Yeah, 458 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: So Katie and I got together on the old virtual 459 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 1: hanging out. We had a bit about the hour, and 460 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,199 Speaker 1: she I asked her some questions. It's a totally normal 461 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 1: for a friend, you know a lot of podcast perfect yeah, yeah, 462 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: and we wanted to share that conversation with you. But 463 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: first we're gonna pause for one more quick break for 464 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: word from our sponsor, and we're back. Thank you sponsor. 465 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,679 Speaker 1: And yeah, let us get into my interview with one 466 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: of my best friends, Katie. So you're joined now by 467 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,400 Speaker 1: one of my very best friends, Katie. Hello Katie, Hello, 468 00:25:55,080 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 1: Hello everyone. So you have featured on the show a lot, 469 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 1: even though this is your first time being here, because 470 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:08,119 Speaker 1: we we've known each other a long time, quite a while. Yeah, yeah, 471 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: and I've spoken about we were neighbors, so we we 472 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 1: were also very nerdy and so we did like Jedi 473 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:22,479 Speaker 1: training together. We had light savored pupools. You're right. Cool. 474 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 1: Hercules featured quite often in our adventures back in the day. Yes, 475 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,439 Speaker 1: and for listeners who don't know, Young Hercules was a 476 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: Ryan Gosling show that I still have on VHS recorded. 477 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 1: It was a nineties nineties Ryan Gosling show. Yes, Yes, 478 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: on the w B. Yes. It was beautifully done with 479 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 1: excellent graphics and sound effects. So sarcasm. Go find it, Yes, 480 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: if you can, I'm not sure it's available. And that's 481 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: why I think I might be sitting on some money here. 482 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 1: In order to truly understand Annie, you have to know her, 483 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: her obsessive crush on Ryan Gosling from young It's essential, 484 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: It's essential to her personality. So go watch. I apologize 485 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:19,159 Speaker 1: for interrupting you, Annie, I really that fan. Later, I 486 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 1: wrote to Ryan Gosling has to be I was nine 487 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: years old. One of the most embarrassing things I've ever done. 488 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: I would pay money to read that. I hope whatever 489 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 1: whoever talent agent got that destroyed it. Police. The eyes 490 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 1: were dotted with hearts. And you were with me a 491 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: year ago when the quarantine like officially set in in 492 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:58,640 Speaker 1: the United States. It was March thirteenth, and we were 493 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 1: unsure what to do. And to this day, like I've 494 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: also talked about your reaction to me playing The Last 495 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: of Us two, which was basically you looked at me 496 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 1: as though I had done you the greatest harm. I 497 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:23,119 Speaker 1: just have to go it's hard, man. That was a 498 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 1: hard experience. You broke my heart. I just playing the game. 499 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: Just playing the game, you broke my heart and I 500 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: went down a path that you could follow that I 501 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:44,440 Speaker 1: follow what I followed. You Damn that game is something else, man. 502 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: It made me feel some things. Me too, And you 503 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: were the one of the infamous same side. Yeah, I 504 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: keep the coin. I've got the coin. Yeah say this 505 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: coin that said Abby and Ellie's same side on the 506 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 1: same side and zombies on the other side. Because of 507 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 1: your brilliance, Yes, finally people will realize how brilliant I am. 508 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: I've always known that brilliant you are. But okay, so 509 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: we're This is an episode on dating during the pandemic, 510 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: and when the pandemic did hit. I remember you were 511 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: sitting on one of my couches. Yeah, couch, couch Is 512 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: it a couch, it's a food whatever. You were sitting 513 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,480 Speaker 1: on it and you were scrolling thrill. Was it tender? 514 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: It was? It was tender. And you were showing me 515 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: pictures of like what people had stocked up on and 516 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: then they were saying, like, come to my place, I 517 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 1: have got boxed wine as far as I can see, 518 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: and powers of toilet paper. Yes, people were using that 519 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: as a catch all as a come hither, and also 520 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: like wearing masks. Mm hmmm. They used mask as kind 521 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 1: of a come get me point, which I was totally into. 522 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: It was interesting to see how the pandemic was reflected 523 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: in tender world, I guess yeah, And you have long 524 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: been my guide because I'm someone who hasn't ever online dated, 525 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 1: and I've just learned from you. I've heard from your experience, 526 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,719 Speaker 1: You've heard my stories. I don't know if I'm the 527 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 1: best person to reflect that world, but I can try 528 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 1: and give you my point of view the best as possible. Yeah, 529 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: and that's all we ask because we have been asking 530 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: listeners and other friends of ours, what has your experience 531 00:30:55,640 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: been dating during the pandemic? So can you talk about 532 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: what your experience has been like? Yeah, I have to 533 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: say first that I use tender for hookups as opposed 534 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: to like dating dating m hm, so that paints the 535 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:20,719 Speaker 1: experience a bit differently. Yeah. I think in the beginning 536 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: that I became a lot pickier very quickly, because suddenly 537 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,479 Speaker 1: it was less of a game and more of oh 538 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 1: I could catch I could catch something, you know, right, 539 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 1: So that definitely kind of it's slowed things down a lot. 540 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: And I will say I think I think they're in 541 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,479 Speaker 1: the beginning. I only went on one date and it 542 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: was awful. It was a terrible experience. Because of COVID, 543 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: I was scared to go out. So for the first 544 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: time ever, I invited this person straight to my apartment, 545 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 1: so there was no in between, there was no like 546 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: we're going to set each other out or anything. And 547 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: it was bad, man. It was just we weren't a 548 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: good match for each other in any way. And then 549 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: I had this person in my house and I didn't 550 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: know how to say, please get out of my house, 551 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: and uh, it was just it was a terrible night. 552 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 1: So after that, that's kind of what commenced to me. 553 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,959 Speaker 1: So selfish reasons. Really, it was half that and half 554 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: the pandemics getting real, like real real that I cut 555 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: off Tender for a while and just completely deleted it, 556 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: deleted bumble, deleted everything and decided it was smarter to 557 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,479 Speaker 1: just to look after myself for a little while. Yeah, 558 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 1: but I have recently re downloaded it, so yeah, and 559 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 1: how has that been? Man? Oh man, it's exhausting being 560 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: a a dating woman in the Curry age. I gotta say, 561 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: first world problems, of course, of course. Yeah, it's been something. 562 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: I've gotten ghosted a few times already. I haven't had 563 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: it for very long, just a couple of weeks now, 564 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 1: I've been on one date and gotten ghosted quite a 565 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: few times. Is that different than I hate for this 566 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,400 Speaker 1: to sound so like me and I don't mean it 567 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: that way at all, But is that different than the 568 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: experience you had before the pandemic? Oh? Um, I really 569 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: don't mean I think before the pandemic. I feel like 570 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: there were more dates in person before the pandemic for sure, 571 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: and less ghosting. I mean ghosting goes hand in hand 572 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,120 Speaker 1: with tender. I think you kind of have to and 573 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,360 Speaker 1: certain you kind of have to expect that it's coming, 574 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: and at least in my experience, which might not be 575 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 1: the experience of everyone mind, but yeah, I think in 576 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: my short experience being back on Tinder, I've definitely gotten 577 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 1: ghosted more than before. And in these conversations you're having 578 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 1: the people because I asked you when you were recently 579 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 1: exploring potential matches, how does one even date? And did 580 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 1: you discuss like what that would look like? I think 581 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 1: I was always the one that brought it up, like 582 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: would you wear a mask? How would this go? Where 583 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 1: would we go? Would it be in the middle On 584 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 1: a few dates I went on. Yes, but how do 585 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: you even date now? I mean my answer to you 586 00:34:55,680 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: and the text message was I don't know because I 587 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: really I don't and I've been on one date since 588 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 1: we talked then. And I felt guilty for going out. 589 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: That was the first time I've been out since pandemic started, 590 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: like actually been out out, and I felt very timid, 591 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 1: like I was looking around, I felt small. I guess 592 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 1: I wore my mask, but I still felt this intense 593 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: guilt for being out and just like self consciousness about it. 594 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: But once I managed to loosen up and have a 595 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,760 Speaker 1: beer or two or three, it got a little better. 596 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:42,840 Speaker 1: We chose the venue that we chose to go acts throwing, 597 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,799 Speaker 1: which turned out to be a very open venue. There 598 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: was a lot of space, thank god, or else somebody 599 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 1: would have been maimed. But it double worked as we 600 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: were way more than six ft away from people. Everyone 601 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 1: was wearing mask well, I mean, you know, there were 602 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 1: a few sticklers that worked, but for the most part 603 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 1: the people that worked there, so that was comforting in 604 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 1: its own way, right. I asked you about mask fashion, 605 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 1: if that was the thing that you thought about for 606 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 1: me personally, No, I stick to my standard black cloth 607 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: mask because I look badass in it. It like slims. 608 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:28,040 Speaker 1: My face makes me look a little like intriguing. So 609 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,799 Speaker 1: I just got your ax with my ax exactly. That 610 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:39,919 Speaker 1: is flailing around wildly. I was semi good at it. 611 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 1: It was just like bowling. I was good at first, 612 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,760 Speaker 1: and then it just went down the mill from there. Yeah. Yeah, 613 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,279 Speaker 1: I want to go with you Annie. Oh my god, 614 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,360 Speaker 1: I want to see you throw an ax so badly. 615 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: I don't like those pictures of being with the ax 616 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,600 Speaker 1: at one time. Yeah, and the sounds very bizarre context, 617 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: but it was for a Hunger Games audition. It was 618 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 1: so cheesy. It that's something else I hope has disappeared 619 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: to time. Gold. It is gold. It's gonna show up 620 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 1: when you're super famous one day. See You've got You've 621 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:23,280 Speaker 1: probably got the most blackmail on me of anybody. Oh 622 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,960 Speaker 1: I do. But I'm also the least likely to sell it, 623 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 1: so well, it depends on what they offer me. Like 624 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: a true friend, anyone can be bought Reese. Oh no, no, no, 625 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 1: I would never sell that too personally. There's too much 626 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,360 Speaker 1: on me that you could throw back. That's true. I 627 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: always remember that, so I don't know if you if 628 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,839 Speaker 1: you've noticed this, because since you took a break, But 629 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,920 Speaker 1: have you noticed, Like this is coming from someone who 630 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 1: has no idea what I'm talking about, like a change 631 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 1: in in how and people's profiles are like the number 632 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 1: of people on it are like have a people left 633 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 1: or they're more people. I honestly can't say, because I 634 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:26,240 Speaker 1: am using tender from I would say a smaller town 635 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:31,759 Speaker 1: outside of Atlanta, like somewhat far out from Atlanta, so 636 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,760 Speaker 1: there was kind of a limited number amount of people. 637 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 1: And I tend to swipe fast anyway, so at some 638 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: point you reach a screen that says there are no 639 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,799 Speaker 1: more people in your area, and then you feel really 640 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 1: bad about yourself. Yea, So I really can't say if 641 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 1: it's gone up or down. To me, it seems like 642 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,840 Speaker 1: about the same amount in my area, and it seems 643 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,440 Speaker 1: honestly about the same demographic of people mm hmm. But 644 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,440 Speaker 1: I can't say if that reflects for the city or 645 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 1: a larger population. Yeah, And then do people put like 646 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,759 Speaker 1: in their profiles? Is there you know, like mask required 647 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 1: or are things like that? So far, I haven't seen 648 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 1: that at all. What I have seen is an increase 649 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: in people saying they're conservative or their liberal, yeah, or 650 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: they're Christian. I have seen an increase in that, and 651 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: I have seen an increase in people wearing masks in 652 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 1: their profile pictures. But I haven't seen anything that's like 653 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 1: mask required or won't go out. But I will say Tender. 654 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,479 Speaker 1: I believe it's Tender. They have like an area where 655 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 1: you can put your COVID specifications. Oh of if you 656 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 1: want to do only video chat, or if you're willing 657 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,160 Speaker 1: to go out for a date, you know, if mask 658 00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 1: are required kind of things. So you've got to give 659 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,239 Speaker 1: it to them that they are trying to put the 660 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 1: steps in place to allow people to be more comfortable. Yeah. 661 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty sure they're sending a COVID test too. 662 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:18,359 Speaker 1: You can get a COVID test through Tender. Well, isn't 663 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,719 Speaker 1: that's something The future is now, man, the futures and 664 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 1: the futures now. Yeah, I can see how. You know, 665 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,880 Speaker 1: first date is already kind of an awkward, stressful situation, 666 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,759 Speaker 1: and then you do it during a pandemic and it's 667 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 1: like multiplied. I think one of the things I've noticed 668 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,640 Speaker 1: that's going to be a real adjustment period for me 669 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,640 Speaker 1: is I was always kind of awkward, but now talking 670 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,160 Speaker 1: to people is the most awkward thing, Like it just 671 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:49,440 Speaker 1: feels like I've forgotten how to do it. So I 672 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:53,759 Speaker 1: can imagine on a date that being amplified. I don't 673 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,520 Speaker 1: know in a way you have if you're wearing masks, 674 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 1: you have the masks to hide behind, which I find 675 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 1: to be a for in some way, even though it 676 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 1: does complicate reading faces and such m hm. But also 677 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,560 Speaker 1: I think it adds an instant is the right word, 678 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 1: levity to the situation of just we instantly have something 679 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 1: to laugh about of oh my god, it's COVID and 680 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,040 Speaker 1: here we are doing this thing Like there's kind of 681 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,799 Speaker 1: instantly something like you feel tense about it, but there's 682 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,960 Speaker 1: also instantly a something you can joke about and bond over, 683 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 1: instantly a subject to talk about. So where you know, 684 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,600 Speaker 1: how have you been, what are you doing? What's up 685 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 1: with you? How has COVID treated you? Like? I can 686 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 1: expand upon that a lot if I mean to. So 687 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 1: I guess my wrap up question is, did it to 688 00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 1: put it in a very almost dismissive terms, which I 689 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 1: don't mean to either, but did it kind of bum 690 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,879 Speaker 1: you out that you've lost this year of dating and 691 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 1: are you excited it? For As more and more people 692 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:07,279 Speaker 1: get vaccinated and more and more things open, two more 693 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,640 Speaker 1: readily enter back into that world. I think, to be honest, 694 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,800 Speaker 1: it wasn't a bad time for me to take off 695 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,680 Speaker 1: and take to myself. I won't lie the shallow part 696 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 1: of me, the completely and utterly shallow part of me. 697 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,840 Speaker 1: I have absolutely gained weight during COVID, just from the 698 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,000 Speaker 1: drinking a lot more than I used to and also 699 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:36,320 Speaker 1: binge eating when I'm scared or you know, like stressed 700 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:41,800 Speaker 1: out from dealing with with COVID. So I definitely gained weight, 701 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,640 Speaker 1: and the shallow part of me that kind of helped 702 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 1: because I was like, man, I you know, that insecure 703 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,919 Speaker 1: part was like I don't want to be seen like this. 704 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:57,120 Speaker 1: So that was a very that was a small section 705 00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 1: into a small selfish part of it. But it also 706 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:06,240 Speaker 1: gave me the time to separate from my lust for 707 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: a relationship or a hookup or for men in general unfortunately, 708 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:18,680 Speaker 1: and and focus a little bit more on me that 709 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,839 Speaker 1: it's all the cliche, trite stuff, you know, focus more 710 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:27,920 Speaker 1: on me, and instead of putting all of my emotions 711 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:33,200 Speaker 1: on two men and a temporary hook up, kind of 712 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:37,640 Speaker 1: like being forced to reflect on myself and why I'm 713 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,440 Speaker 1: reacting away or not, so I at least try to 714 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: look at it through that lens. Getting back to it 715 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:50,239 Speaker 1: currently has been a great distraction, it really has. It's 716 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 1: kind of disturbing how distracting tender can be, or just 717 00:43:54,719 --> 00:44:00,080 Speaker 1: how much of a time, like, h, I don't know it. 718 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,439 Speaker 1: I'm trying to to remember the time I took off 719 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 1: and not get too sucked back into that world and 720 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:13,160 Speaker 1: too stressed out by it because I have some stories, man, 721 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: I have some tender stories. If you have a tender episode, 722 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:24,880 Speaker 1: I'm here. Oh I know, yeah, yeah, we would love 723 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 1: to have you back. And I am so glad that 724 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,239 Speaker 1: you came on and shared your experience with us. And 725 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,880 Speaker 1: I do think what you just said has been a 726 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,520 Speaker 1: lot of people's experience, maybe not even just dating, but 727 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:40,840 Speaker 1: like what they learned about themselves during a quarantine and 728 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:45,400 Speaker 1: a pandemic and trying to keep that in mind for 729 00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,799 Speaker 1: like how quickly that That's something I thought about, is 730 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,040 Speaker 1: how quickly am I going to fall back into old 731 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,200 Speaker 1: habits and or am I not? It's truly a moment 732 00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 1: to reflect, this is how I react, what I'm alone 733 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,800 Speaker 1: and alone for a long period of time, a forced 734 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,799 Speaker 1: period of time with no socialization or anything else to 735 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:11,720 Speaker 1: like hide your flaws into. So it's definitely been eye 736 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,759 Speaker 1: opening to see that about myself, to have those realizations 737 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,960 Speaker 1: about myself, like how much I put things on other 738 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 1: people to make it easier for me, and this isolation 739 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:29,480 Speaker 1: has forced me to confront that, for better or for worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 740 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,919 Speaker 1: Well I know that I miss you and I can't 741 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 1: wait to see you soon. I know I want to 742 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,760 Speaker 1: see you in your long hair and your tread bill 743 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,560 Speaker 1: and play Last of Us, even though I still cry 744 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:48,799 Speaker 1: about it sometimes. So we bonded even more that day, 745 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:50,920 Speaker 1: even though I thought you were like not going to 746 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 1: talk to me for weeks after that, I considered it. 747 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,360 Speaker 1: But after you go through something like that with someone, 748 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,840 Speaker 1: you've got to keep them close. It was so close 749 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:11,000 Speaker 1: to love. That's what the game taught me. It's so 750 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:16,720 Speaker 1: good love. You know. That's interesting. I felt like after 751 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,680 Speaker 1: playing that game with you, I felt like people I 752 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: had loved died, Like genuinely, I felt like I was 753 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:30,880 Speaker 1: grieving and bargaining and angry. M Who would have thought 754 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:37,640 Speaker 1: a video game could elicit those reactions yeah. Yeah, we 755 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:42,040 Speaker 1: cannot over exaggerate enough. How long we sobbed in silence? 756 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:48,319 Speaker 1: Just sitting there in silence with each other crying. Sound 757 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,640 Speaker 1: like such a fun game. Oh my god, you have 758 00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:57,520 Speaker 1: to play it. It's so good though, work of art true. 759 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,479 Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to talk about about 760 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,640 Speaker 1: your dating experience before we wrap up? I'm still being 761 00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:07,319 Speaker 1: ghosted by someone who identifies as a furry, So there's that. 762 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:15,800 Speaker 1: We'll just leave it there. Yeah, gosh, that's a interesting 763 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,759 Speaker 1: like if you said that sentence Nerre decades ago, no 764 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,719 Speaker 1: one would know what you meant. I'd be burned for 765 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: being a witch. I don't know what she said, but 766 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,840 Speaker 1: it's some kind of spell. They wouldn't drop kick me 767 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:44,120 Speaker 1: right into that fire. Well, good thing, it's not the 768 00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:48,080 Speaker 1: way back win of a couple of decades ago. Hey man, 769 00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:53,359 Speaker 1: my friend, Well, thank you so much for joining us. 770 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,640 Speaker 1: I miss you and love you, and we would love 771 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,160 Speaker 1: to have you back sometime soon. Thank you so much 772 00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,279 Speaker 1: for having me. I appreciate it so much. As good 773 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 1: to see you, so I hope that you listeners enjoyed 774 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,160 Speaker 1: that conversation as much as I did. I hadn't seen 775 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:11,719 Speaker 1: her in a while. Yeah, yeah. We have known each 776 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,200 Speaker 1: other since I think we were four years old, so 777 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:20,880 Speaker 1: long time. And it's going to be interesting moving forward 778 00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,200 Speaker 1: as we do get out of this and what is 779 00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:28,280 Speaker 1: dating it to look like in the wake of a pandemic, because, 780 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,239 Speaker 1: like one of you listeners pointed out, we did go 781 00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,280 Speaker 1: through as a world kind of this joint trauma together. 782 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,600 Speaker 1: And Katie talked about that because I thought, you know, 783 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:40,480 Speaker 1: in my mind, this is making dating like a first date, 784 00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,560 Speaker 1: which is already a really nervous racking experience, even worse 785 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,840 Speaker 1: because you've got like people watching and there is a 786 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,600 Speaker 1: mass conversation. But she said that that you, she felt 787 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,319 Speaker 1: like you immediately had this thing that you could bond 788 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:56,600 Speaker 1: over because you went through it together. So it will 789 00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:02,760 Speaker 1: be interesting to see what happens. And thanks to all 790 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:06,640 Speaker 1: of you listeners who sent your stories. We love them, 791 00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:10,000 Speaker 1: we love getting them, so keep those coming, keep us outdated. 792 00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,759 Speaker 1: We we love hearing from you. If you would like 793 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,560 Speaker 1: to email us, you can or emails Stuff Media, mom Stuff, 794 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,440 Speaker 1: I heart media dot com. You can find us on 795 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,240 Speaker 1: Instagram and Stuff I've Ever Told You, or on Twitter 796 00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,480 Speaker 1: at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks it's always to your super 797 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:27,480 Speaker 1: producer Christina. Thank you. Thanks to you for listening stuff 798 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,200 Speaker 1: I've never told you. Protection of I Heart Radio. For 799 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,319 Speaker 1: more podcast from I Heart Radio is that I Hear Radio? 800 00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,840 Speaker 1: App Apple Podcast, wherever you listen to your favorite shows.