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Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: do you feel like it sits it down very sixty minutes?

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Speaker 1: Um in Depth has been one of our favorite projects

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Speaker 1: that we've ever done. Uh almost Famous podcasts. It's actually

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Speaker 1: I was talking about it the other day. It's probably

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Speaker 1: my favorite project I've ever done since The Bachelor. Um.

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Speaker 1: Here's the reason why we get to sit for as

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Speaker 1: long as we want, as long as we need with

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Speaker 1: people from the Bachelor, Bachelor at talking about their life,

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Speaker 1: what they've been through, who they are becoming, who they are,

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Speaker 1: what's made them who they are, any stances they take

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Speaker 1: on life. We just like to dig deep and then

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Speaker 1: you the listener, get to know them better. Well. A

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Speaker 1: few weeks ago, we started a poll and it's it's

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Speaker 1: ironic in a sense, And I want to tell you why.

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Speaker 1: We started a poll that said, who would you like

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Speaker 1: to hear from an all of Bachelor Nation and we'll

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Speaker 1: bring them into studio and we'll do it in depth

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Speaker 1: with them. Well, you would expect, probably from that pool

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Speaker 1: that's the most popular, the person from Bachelor Nation would

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Speaker 1: be chosen. Well, the ironic piece of all this is

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Speaker 1: the person that was chosen does not believe that he

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Speaker 1: is the most popular person. He probably never has believed

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Speaker 1: he is the most popular person. He actually um. I think,

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Speaker 1: as we talked to today, will be will make fun

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Speaker 1: at some point of the fact that he was chosen.

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Speaker 1: He'll he'll he'll make some comment that diminishes it. But

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Speaker 1: the truth is this Dean Anglet was chosen in a landslide,

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Speaker 1: and I think there's a reason why it's one because, yes,

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Speaker 1: Dean is charming, but charm can't be deceitful. What Dean

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Speaker 1: is is he's deep, He's real, um, he cares, um.

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Speaker 1: He he doesn't uh just walk past real situations, he

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Speaker 1: walks into them. And he's had his ups and downs,

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Speaker 1: as we'll talk about in the podcast today. But but

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Speaker 1: you get to know Dean because you spend time with Dean,

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Speaker 1: and I think there's a relatability to Dean that has

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Speaker 1: not only made America go this guy's got something more

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Speaker 1: and I like it. But it also doesn't hurt that

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Speaker 1: he's absolutely beautiful, but he's so much more. Dean. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for coming in, Hey, thanks for having me. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: that last little cherry on top. You know, it's always

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Speaker 1: great when somebody gives you a really good compliment that like,

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Speaker 1: and I think you would appreciate being called real? And

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Speaker 1: then how like much does it make you cringe when

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Speaker 1: somebody's like, and you're beautiful? Honestly, that was my favorite

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Speaker 1: part about the whole because it's like, oh, he's dp

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Speaker 1: walks into the situations and I'm just like, I'm a

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Speaker 1: little uncomfortable. But then you sprinkle on that he's good looking.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, this is all a joke, and now

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Speaker 1: I understand. Now I know it's true. Um, Dean, how

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Speaker 1: do we meet? You? And I met for the very

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Speaker 1: first time. Actually, we we could have met at a

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Speaker 1: wine store in Low Highlands in Denver. I think I

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Speaker 1: told you the story. I was with my best friend

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Speaker 1: and his girlfriend. We walked in to buy some wine

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Speaker 1: to watch some I don't remember football, Navy or something

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Speaker 1: like that. But my season Bachelor hadn't aired. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I had just finished filming and I was in Colorado.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even see you, but my friend's girlfriend was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, that was Been Higgins. I just walked

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Speaker 1: by and I was like, I should have said hi,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't get a chance to. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: how we met for the very first time, though, I

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Speaker 1: think one of the very first times, and this is

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Speaker 1: funny is I was sitting at breakfast on a date. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well no, we had known each other at that point though,

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Speaker 1: because I remember I stopped and I was like, oh, hey, Ben, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that's funny that you say it like that. I

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Speaker 1: actually said Dean, and you kind of like kept walking like, oh,

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Speaker 1: what's up, dude, Oh yeah, you're right, yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: kind of kept going. Okay in my defense, Okay, so

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Speaker 1: Ben was on a date at breakfast and I was

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Speaker 1: like randomly walking with a couple of friends and I

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Speaker 1: hear my name called and this is like fresh off

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Speaker 1: the show, so like you kind of get that a lot,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I look over and I see this

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Speaker 1: tall dude, like you were kind of like standing in

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Speaker 1: the shadows a little bit, and you were wearing wearing

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Speaker 1: like a flat build hat forwards and like low on

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Speaker 1: your head, which I had never really seen you wear

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Speaker 1: anything like that before, and like maybe your facial hair

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Speaker 1: was a little different, and I just didn't know who

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Speaker 1: you were for the first like thirty seconds of talking

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Speaker 1: to you. It's fine, we're fine, But what's happened with

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Speaker 1: Dean and I is Dean and I and I'd like

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Speaker 1: to say this, Please tell me if I'm wrong. We

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Speaker 1: met and we became friends pretty quickly, and we got

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Speaker 1: a real friendship like one that uh is not We

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Speaker 1: don't do any events together really remind me. I think

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Speaker 1: the first time we met was in Tahoe when we

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Speaker 1: were doing podcast it might be, and we got to

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Speaker 1: spend time together. We got to talk about life and

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Speaker 1: what I what in tregues me about you is that

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Speaker 1: you're not afraid to talk about some of the like

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Speaker 1: the depths of life. You don't you don't run away

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Speaker 1: when somebody wants to bring up something that's that's heavy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes I struggle to feel the empathy that

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Speaker 1: you're able to possess. But I think that, Uh, something

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Speaker 1: I've learned as of lately over the past two or

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Speaker 1: three years or so is leaning into those difficult conversations

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Speaker 1: can be fun and and growth oriented. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? Uh, something that didn't really know for a

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Speaker 1: very long time. But yeah, I agree, I think it's

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Speaker 1: fun to have those conversations. You learn a lot about yourself,

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Speaker 1: you gotta learn a lot a lot about other people.

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Speaker 1: So I'm a little envious you gotta do this, uh

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Speaker 1: in depth on this show with Ashley be because I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like a fun thing to want to be

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Speaker 1: able to get this. This is a blast. It makes

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Speaker 1: this feel like it's real, Like this is there's no

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Speaker 1: agenda this, I have no notes on where to go

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Speaker 1: with this. It's it's wherever we want to take it.

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Speaker 1: Is it hard for I wonder if this will be

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Speaker 1: difficult for you because you basically know me in and

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Speaker 1: out right, so you know what questions you want to ask.

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Speaker 1: But also it's not like there's no novelty to you

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Speaker 1: to like learn about me as we go on, because

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Speaker 1: you already know everything. No, that's not true. So here's

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Speaker 1: the thing I told as I was prepping for this.

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Speaker 1: I was talking to a buddy of mine saying, they

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Speaker 1: get to do this today, and I said, here's one

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Speaker 1: of the cool parts is how often you get to

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Speaker 1: sit down with your friend, no matter how will you

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Speaker 1: know them, and you get to ask them questions and

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Speaker 1: they can't run away from it and they can't turn

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Speaker 1: it back on you because you like to turn it

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Speaker 1: back on me as quick as you can. But I'm

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Speaker 1: hosting this like this is this is my plane to fly,

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Speaker 1: and you've got to stay on board. And so you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to walk through this with me, and so

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Speaker 1: I think I'll get to know or hear things that

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Speaker 1: I've always wondered that it's never been appropriate to ask,

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Speaker 1: you know. But also bear in mind that the reason

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Speaker 1: that I able to open up to you so much

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Speaker 1: is because I'm able to direct the conversation in certain

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Speaker 1: ways and feel comfortable through misdirection like that. And so

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Speaker 1: I wonder if me not being able to deflect the

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Speaker 1: conversation back to you will shut me off at all.

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Speaker 1: We'll see, Yeah, we'll see. It's gonna be a fun ride.

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Speaker 1: Dean Angler in studio. Dean, let's dive in right away. Sure,

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Speaker 1: you just said something, UM that I think is is

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Speaker 1: how I'd want to start this. You said you're unable to,

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Speaker 1: um feel the empathy that that I would be in

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Speaker 1: deep conversations or painful conversation. Uh, take me out of

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Speaker 1: it for a second. Why do you immediately say that

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Speaker 1: about yourself? The uh that I lack empathy? Um, It's

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Speaker 1: something that I've kind of become more aware of as

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Speaker 1: time moves on and it's been kind of an im

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Speaker 1: uh an issue, not an issue, but like a hurdle

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Speaker 1: of sorts in past relationships. Remember this girlfriend in college

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Speaker 1: you was like, you like don't feel things, You never

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Speaker 1: feel any sort of way. And I remember I was

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Speaker 1: like watching something on Netflix and I texted her. I

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, I think I just cried. I watched

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Speaker 1: something on Netflix, Like are you proud of me? And

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Speaker 1: she goes, oh my gosh, things are changing. Um, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I think that I just kind of grown

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Speaker 1: numb to that stuff. And it's like hard for me,

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Speaker 1: just like my viewpoint on life, Like you know that

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Speaker 1: UM foundationally or like our our root values are a

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Speaker 1: little different, similar but different, right, Like you get your

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Speaker 1: values from different places that I do, UM, And I

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Speaker 1: think part of where I've draw my values from, it's

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Speaker 1: like it's like a numbing thing like I draw like

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Speaker 1: I'm a nihilist, you know, Like I don't think that

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Speaker 1: life has any meaning, but I think that the beauty

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Speaker 1: and life not having meaning is that everything has value

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Speaker 1: in it. And so I think, like, you know, having

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Speaker 1: conversations with people and getting like to dive into who

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Speaker 1: they are and get to do this in depth, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like, be nice to people because life is meaningless

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Speaker 1: versus you is You're like be nice to people because

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Speaker 1: it's just like the right thing to do, and like

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Speaker 1: you have your like your faith and all that kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff, you know what I mean. So I think

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Speaker 1: the the uh product is the same, but the process

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Speaker 1: is a little bit different for us. And I think

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Speaker 1: that the process is different for me is because I

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Speaker 1: just like, I don't know, I've been through some stuff

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Speaker 1: with my mom obviously, with my friends and with my

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Speaker 1: family and all that, and I don't want to like

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Speaker 1: ever blame the way that I am because of any

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Speaker 1: of those things. But I think that has obviously like

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Speaker 1: a bit of a h it's like a bit of

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Speaker 1: reason for it. Right. I don't know your store was

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you would say accurately told during

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Speaker 1: your time on The Bachelor, right, but you you definitely

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Speaker 1: had a story that was told. Um, it wasn't inaccurately told.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously it's like you're not gonna have every

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Speaker 1: uh every little crevice and crack of your story shown, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure when you were on the show, it's not

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Speaker 1: like it was Ben Higgins, it was a shadow or

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Speaker 1: a shell of yourself. But uh yeah, I mean they

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Speaker 1: covered like the main points, you know, my mom passing,

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Speaker 1: my family kind of falling apart, and that was basically it.

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Speaker 1: But tell me if I'm wrong, and I just as

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Speaker 1: I've got to know you better, I feel I mean,

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Speaker 1: watching those moments back and and seeing that now on

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Speaker 1: national and television, was it uncomfortable? Um? It was uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: It was the first time I had ever like watched

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Speaker 1: myself back, right, So it's always gonna be uncomfortable. On

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Speaker 1: top of that, I was like I was drinking to

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Speaker 1: like cope with the discomfort, right, And so I didn't

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Speaker 1: while we were filming, right, So I didn't necessarily, like

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Speaker 1: I know exactly how I would come across having been

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Speaker 1: like a little buzz or something like that. Right, Like normally,

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Speaker 1: when you're when you're drinking in your buzz and you

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Speaker 1: go out to the bars and you like say something silly, like,

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Speaker 1: that's the only time that you have to deal with that, right,

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Speaker 1: But when you're doing on TV, you have to deal

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Speaker 1: with it a second time when you watch it back. Um,

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Speaker 1: So there was like a little bit of anxiety written

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Speaker 1: because I was like, Okay, like what, how is this

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Speaker 1: going to come across? Like how am I gonna look like?

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Speaker 1: Am I gonna be coherent? Or am I gonna like

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Speaker 1: say the right things like that kind of stuff. So

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Speaker 1: that was a little anxiety inducing. Um. What's funny is

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Speaker 1: the fourth time around on the TV show, when I

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Speaker 1: didn't drink at all I had, I felt no anxiety,

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Speaker 1: you know, stressed when you think that, because I was

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Speaker 1: like I was completely in control of everything I was

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Speaker 1: doing and saying. So it's like I have nothing to

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Speaker 1: be afraid of. You know, Yeah, I totally get that.

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Speaker 1: When I was the Bachelor, I barely drunk drink it all. Um.

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, but and also because I had so much

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Speaker 1: anxiety going into it, I couldn't just if I drank

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Speaker 1: to cover it up it and take a lot of drinks. Um,

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Speaker 1: And your schedule is exhausting, so you're like, you know

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Speaker 1: you're gonna bet at two am, waking up at seven am.

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Speaker 1: Probably it's like a constant hangover and it's not gonna

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Speaker 1: be fun. I I watched your season without knowing you, um,

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Speaker 1: and your your story during that time was it was

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Speaker 1: deeper than any other we've ever seen. I would like

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Speaker 1: to believe no way. I think the idea of you.

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Speaker 1: I think there was a moment when you laying on

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Speaker 1: the floor of your father's house with Rachel and everything

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Speaker 1: had kind of fallen out around you during that hometown

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Speaker 1: date and you were reminiscing on all the things that

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Speaker 1: have happened to lead you that point. I think there

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Speaker 1: was a moment there where maybe just because I liked

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Speaker 1: you already, there was a depth to that With that,

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Speaker 1: I felt an emotion that I don't feel watching this show,

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Speaker 1: like your life was was was being displayed in front

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Speaker 1: of you. Things were what happened during that day would

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Speaker 1: have ramixifications past the show. So I want to know

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Speaker 1: from you. I don't know how in the world you

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Speaker 1: end up on this show, but during the like, as

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Speaker 1: you watch it back, are you glad you did it? Um? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that in hindsight, I'm super grateful that I

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Speaker 1: did it because not only what like, like have I

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Speaker 1: grown as an individual since the show the first show

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Speaker 1: that I went on, but also just like seeing myself,

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm not much of an EmPATH right, so,

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Speaker 1: like I don't feel things, but that first show that

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Speaker 1: I went on, when I cried for the first time

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Speaker 1: on camera. I was like looking back that night and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, man, I'm gonna be like such

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Speaker 1: a woos Like I shouldn't have cried. I'm so embarrassed. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember one of the producers was like, man,

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Speaker 1: like people cry, Like as long as your story took

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Speaker 1: just one person, like you should consider it a success.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, that makes sense, that's sense,

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Speaker 1: I guess. But then watching it back, I was like

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Speaker 1: so worried my friends were gonna, like, you know, make

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Speaker 1: fun of me and like whatever as a guy crying

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Speaker 1: on TV. But even just that small little thing, like

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Speaker 1: I guess, provide a lot of growth for me to

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Speaker 1: be like, okay, like it's okay to feel things. It's

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Speaker 1: okay to like be vulnerable and to like be upset

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Speaker 1: and be sad and cry, which I never really felt before. Um.

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Speaker 1: And that's obviously something I'm still working on. It's not

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Speaker 1: like it's gonna happen overnight. UM. But that, in and

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Speaker 1: of itself, just that first episode where it was Rachel

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Speaker 1: and I in UMU, Hilton Head, South Carolina or North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember exactly what Carolina was, but I remember

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Speaker 1: I cried on that date, I told about my mom, etcetera.

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Speaker 1: And uh yeah, I was like worried about it. But

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Speaker 1: then watching it back, like the outpouring of support from everyone,

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Speaker 1: even my friends who were reaching out to me. They

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Speaker 1: were like because even before that, like before I went

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Speaker 1: on the show, Like even some of my closest friends

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Speaker 1: didn't even know that I, you know, lost my mom

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Speaker 1: at a young age or whatever it was, and they

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Speaker 1: watched the show and they're like, holy calic. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this, And it was just something that I had

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Speaker 1: never really wanted to share with anyone because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to feel receive any sympathy or like preferential treatment

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Speaker 1: because they felt bad for me something like that. You know, so, um,

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Speaker 1: but wouldn't you here's the part that and this is

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Speaker 1: where I want to pause you. This is what I

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Speaker 1: don't get is wouldn't you want people to fully know you?

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Speaker 1: Like these are your friends that you're worried about if

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Speaker 1: they're gonna make fun of you because you cry, yet

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Speaker 1: they don't know you, And like getting to know you

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Speaker 1: as a friend is is honestly sometimes impossible personally or

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Speaker 1: just generally generally, I would say, and like if if

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Speaker 1: you're good friends, some of your closest friends don't know

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Speaker 1: that your mom had passed at a young age, something

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Speaker 1: that is a pivotal moment in your life for every reason,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Just like as a twenty five year

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Speaker 1: old guy, you're you know, you're making new friends, you're

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Speaker 1: like going out. It's it's not really something that you

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Speaker 1: bring up in conversation, even like if you have an

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Speaker 1: opportunity to bring it up. It's just not something that

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Speaker 1: I ever really cared to be like, hey, by the way,

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Speaker 1: like you know this happened to me when I was

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Speaker 1: fifteen or A big part of it too, was I

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Speaker 1: didn't want anyth Like I said, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: receive sympathy or preferential treatment for it. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: anyone to I didn't want to be like liked, for

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Speaker 1: liked because of the things that had happened to me.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be liked because of the person I

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Speaker 1: am now, not the things that had happened to me

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Speaker 1: in the past, I think. And I just never really

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Speaker 1: took it on myself to be like, yeah, like this

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Speaker 1: is my story, you know, And a lot of people too,

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Speaker 1: especially me, Like I don't feel like my story is

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Speaker 1: wholly unique. I don't think that my story is like

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Speaker 1: worth sharing. I like kind of like began to turn

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Speaker 1: around in that a little bit. Obviously, having a podcast

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Speaker 1: and meeting people like you, uh, it kind of like

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Speaker 1: makes you feel like every story is special in its

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Speaker 1: own way. Like, sure it's unique, um, but every story

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Speaker 1: is worth being heard as well. And that's like taking

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Speaker 1: some time to come around on. But even now, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't it's hard. It's hard to say. Really,

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Speaker 1: I guess about why I didn't open up about that

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Speaker 1: part of my life, you know, and it was such

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Speaker 1: a long time ago, and it's like, obviously the between

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Speaker 1: fifteen and twenty five is when I went on the show.

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Speaker 1: Those ten years are like some of the most transformative

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Speaker 1: years of your life, and so I didn't even really

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Speaker 1: associate my current self with my past self when I

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Speaker 1: was fifteen. So it's just like there's no point really

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Speaker 1: diving into that side of it. I guess have you

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Speaker 1: at all resented, um? Because as I listen to you

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Speaker 1: talk here, said, you know, I get it. I get

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Speaker 1: that you when you're twenty five, you're going out, you know,

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Speaker 1: to the bar as you meeting new friends. It's not

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Speaker 1: on the topic that's going to come up. But now

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Speaker 1: that it's happened, people know that about you. Um, they

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Speaker 1: know that at a young age your mother had passed

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Speaker 1: that you're all are you? Are you all resentful that

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Speaker 1: that's brought up so often? Now? Yeah, I don't like

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Speaker 1: that people can use it as an excuse for like

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Speaker 1: my behavior or something like that, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Explain more, tell me more. Like, let's say, because I'm

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Speaker 1: obviously I make a lot of bad decisions in life.

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Speaker 1: I think we all do. I mean, maybe more so

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Speaker 1: than others. But sometimes I see the case being made like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he had a heart upbringing, so like let's give him

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Speaker 1: a pass on this. You know, I don't like hearing that.

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Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that just because my mom died

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Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, or my friend Hunter died when

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Speaker 1: I was ten, or Alex that when I was twenty one,

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Speaker 1: that like that gives me a pass on anything. Um,

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, Like I just think it's

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Speaker 1: kind of I don't think that excuses any type of

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Speaker 1: bad behavior, you know what I mean. So I guess

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Speaker 1: maybe that's kind of why I stay quiet about it.

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Speaker 1: That's an anti victim mentality that you're taking. So like

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Speaker 1: you're saying, don't give me sympathy, don't don't lay off

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Speaker 1: of holding me accountable to live to being a greater

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Speaker 1: person because of the pains of my past. Though that's

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Speaker 1: not an excuse for you. I think it's a silly

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Speaker 1: thing to think that it would be things like who

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Speaker 1: whatever I wanted? People use that excuses, Yeah, but no

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Speaker 1: one wants that like you should You shouldn't really have

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Speaker 1: excuses and be it shouldn't be for anything that happened

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Speaker 1: to you in the past. Like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: just think it's silly. It's like, Okay, that was a

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Speaker 1: long time ago, a b. Even if it was like

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Speaker 1: that should encourage you to do things maybe better or differently. Um,

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Speaker 1: and so I would never like, I would never be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that I did this, but when I was younger,

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Speaker 1: like this happened to me, and so now I feel

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Speaker 1: this way and that's what's making me act like this,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Does that make sense? I

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Speaker 1: I it completely makes sense to me. It's not common.

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Speaker 1: It's the thought process of don't you my pass as

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Speaker 1: an excuse is not common. I think it should be

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Speaker 1: more common. Fair, you can you can think that it's

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Speaker 1: just not so when when you sit here and you

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Speaker 1: tell me, then let me, let me try to get

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Speaker 1: to the bottom of this. What role did your past

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Speaker 1: in these traumatic situations in your life that did change

387
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Speaker 1: the course of direction? What role do they play in

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Speaker 1: your life now? I don't think if they're not an excuse,

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Speaker 1: I don't think they play any role in my life.

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Speaker 1: I mean, sure they've there, they were of all stepping

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Speaker 1: stones that like every time that something happened to me,

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Speaker 1: you know, you have to come out the other side

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Speaker 1: of it, But I don't think that I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to say, Like, obviously I'm a product of

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Speaker 1: all of the experience that I've had as a person,

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Speaker 1: right and I would be a completely different person had

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Speaker 1: none of those things ever happened. And a lot of

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Speaker 1: the good things in my life that have happened are

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Speaker 1: in a weird way like because of those things, those

400
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Speaker 1: bad things, Right, So I would never say that I'm

401
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm not who I am because of those things. But

402
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Speaker 1: they don't have like any bearing on my day to

403
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Speaker 1: day life, you know, like, I don't. I think they

404
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 1: do at least. Yeah. I think one of the things

405
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 1: that has always amazed me about you is that your

406
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 1: thought process in these moments like this, because if you

407
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Speaker 1: really do believe that, and it's it's pretty it's it's

408
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: pretty true for you that you don't use these things

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Speaker 1: that have like definitely hurt, that have caused tears, that

410
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Speaker 1: have caused confusion, that have shaken your world view up.

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Speaker 1: You don't use those as excuses for what you're doing today.

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Speaker 1: They're they're pivotal points, they're they're foundational building stones, as

413
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Speaker 1: you call them, but they aren't excuses for Hey, because

414
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Speaker 1: my mom is past, that's why I am doing X

415
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Speaker 1: y Z, So I want to shift gears here because

416
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Speaker 1: it's not fair for me. And I don't really know

417
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Speaker 1: what would be talked about when it comes to these

418
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Speaker 1: bad decisions. What bad decisions are people talking about when

419
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Speaker 1: it comes to you that they're dismissing your behavior because

420
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Speaker 1: of your past. I don't know. You see a lot

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Speaker 1: of like, obviously I've got not the most successful dating history, right,

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Speaker 1: So it's like I would never like now that I'm

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Speaker 1: dating Kalin, Right, I would never like if I lose

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Speaker 1: my temper, which obviously doesn't happen very often, if ever.

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Speaker 1: But I would never blame a bad decision on something

426
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 1: that happened to me back then because of that. Like, like,

427
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: so you lose your temper, right, I'm like, oh, I'm upset,

428
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 1: but it's okay because my mom's dead. Like that's just

429
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 1: kind of messed up, you know what I mean, Like,

430
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 1: I would never do that. That's kind of what I'm

431
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 1: saying where it's like, and I think it's why people.

432
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: I think it's why you're voted the one interview that

433
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 1: every wants to here because I think you are unique

434
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 1: in it. I don't think you're alone in that, and

435
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 1: I don't think you're wrong in it. But I Dean,

436
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 1: I think what intrigues people about you is that mindset,

437
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: because yes, you've done things like we all have, that

438
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 1: have been considered mistakes or maybe have hurt people in

439
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 1: the process or hurt yourself in the process, but you

440
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: don't look at those situations. And this is the beautiful

441
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 1: thing about having being a friend of yours is you

442
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: don't look at those situations and blame anything but yourself.

443
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: You take ownership for it. Everybody out there watch goes.

444
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: There's something freeing about that. Then I want to know

445
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: more about and I won't know where that comes from.

446
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: I don't know where it comes from. I wish I

447
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,360
Speaker 1: could know where it comes from. Confidence. I don't think

448
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 1: there's I don't I don't know. I don't know if

449
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: I'm the most confident person in the world. Maybe inwardly,

450
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: but I don't think I expressed. I don't know. Do

451
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 1: what am I confident? I suppose maybe sometimes Tori's not

452
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: even heard. Yes, I guess so, Um. I honestly, I

453
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 1: really don't know. I haven't really put too much thought

454
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 1: into why that is that way I think again, it

455
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: boils back down. So. I mean when I was a kid,

456
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: up until I was about thirteen or fourteen, we were

457
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 1: pretty like devoutly Presbyterian. We went to Sunday school and

458
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,719
Speaker 1: Sunday Church every every week up until my mom got

459
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,879
Speaker 1: really really sick, and we had like this good foundational

460
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 1: um religious aspect to our family. Even though like the kids,

461
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: as most kids do, they hate to go to church

462
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: on Sundays, but my parents wanted to do. It was

463
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 1: like an hour drive every day every Sunday. I'm sorry,

464
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 1: um and then I went to college, I kind of

465
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 1: like shed all of that and I became for like

466
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: three years or something, I was like this like steadfastly

467
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 1: atheist in college, and I was like, God, isn't real

468
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: that all this is just bogus whatever. Um. I've kind

469
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: of come around on that a little bit since then,

470
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: but I think that those years in college, I was

471
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: kind of just like very heavily to nihilistic as well,

472
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 1: and I was just like nothing matters. All of the

473
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: past is the past, the future is the future, and

474
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: there's no reason to like let the past have any

475
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: dictation on your future self, right, And so I think

476
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: that's kind of where I took that mentality from. And

477
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 1: even in college, Like I remember I was dating this

478
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 1: girl when I was a sophomore. We had been dating

479
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 1: for like ten months or something like that, and I

480
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: had just moved into a house and with that moving

481
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 1: I had like a shoe box that I had like

482
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: a bunch of old pictures and stuff in and like

483
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: letters and all that kind of stuff that I had

484
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: never told anyone about. And she like was moving with

485
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: with me, and we like opened it together and she

486
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, like I'm finally getting like

487
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: a peek into you as a child or like you're older,

488
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: you know, like some of your memories and like something

489
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: that I had never really shared before. I guess I

490
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 1: just I've never really associated uh like past self with

491
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: either present or future self. Um, for better for worse.

492
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 1: Like what you're able to do with your platform is

493
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: like you're building things right, And maybe I guess like

494
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed of who I am now or who I'm

495
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: going to be, and so that's kind of why I

496
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: like kind of keep things under wraps a little bit. Um,

497
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I haven't really liked held

498
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 1: much too much deeper much into that. If you just

499
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: notice their Dean's really good at like quietly turning it

500
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: back on me for just a second. It's really great.

501
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 1: It's a really good skill set he has. But we're

502
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: not gonna let it happen today. Um, We're gonna take

503
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,120
Speaker 1: a break here, and when we get back, I want

504
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: to talk to Dean. I want to start the beginning

505
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: how in the world, uh is Dean? Ungle who he is?

506
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 1: And then also how does he get on the show,

507
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: because it just doesn't make sense. You're gonna hear the

508
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 1: end of the podcast, UH an interview with Bob Dalton.

509
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: Bob Dalton, I both have started small businesses. UH. Part

510
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: of starting a small business is also hiring team around you. Actually,

511
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 1: when some he asks me, Okay, how do you make

512
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: a small business work, my response is always I never

513
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: make it work. It's the team we have that makes

514
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: this work. You want to surround yourself with the best people,

515
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: and that's why I use zip Recruiter. Hiring can be

516
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 1: a challenge, as Quotable co founder Gretchen Heabner discovered. Gretchen

517
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 1: needed to hire a game artist for her education tech company.

518
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: She knew it wouldn't be easy to find someone to

519
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: grow with her team. That's why she went to zip Recruiter.

520
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,120
Speaker 1: Like Gretchen, Generous also uses zip Recruiter to help mind

521
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: the most talented of people. In fact, before Generous even started,

522
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: I was using zip Recruiter. I was on zip recruiter

523
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: to help me find jobs. Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on

524
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: candidates finding you, it finds them for you. This technology

525
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: identifies people with the right experience and invites them to

526
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: apply to your job, so you get qualified candidates fast.

527
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: Gretchen posted her job on zip recruiter, and she said

528
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: she was so impressed with how quickly she found qualified applicants.

529
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: She also uses zip recruiter screening questions to filter her

530
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 1: candidates so she could focus on the best ones. And

531
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 1: that's yes, that's how Gretchen found a new game artist

532
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: in less than two weeks. Hey, I'm telling you, if

533
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: you want to hire the best employees and surround yourself

534
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: with the best people, Zipp recruiter is the way to

535
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: do it. With results like this, it's no wonder. Four

536
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get

537
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: a qualified quality candidate within the first day. See why

538
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: zipp recruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes. Try

539
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: Zipp recruiter for free at zipp recruiter dot com back

540
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: slash ben that's zipp recruiter dot com backslash b e

541
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: n Zipp recruiter dot com slash ben Zipp recruiter the

542
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: smartest way to hire. Come back with Dean Angler. Dean,

543
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: let's start at the beginning. You're raised an Aspen, Colorado,

544
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: Yeah right, more Basalt, Colorado, but Aspens the nearest time

545
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: that everyone knows you know, close enough and and pretty

546
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: normal childhood. Yeah, I suppose talk about it, and that

547
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: is not it's not convincing. I don't know if I

548
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: know your childhood very well at all. Where do you

549
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: want to start with the childhood exactly? Let's started at seven?

550
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: Well I was six, Ben, Okay, it's a little backstory

551
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: for the listener out there. I can finde it in Ben,

552
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 1: a story that I have only dressed recently open and

553
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 1: started opening up about. Um. Actually not to long ago.

554
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: Ashley and Jared's wedding, I think was the first time

555
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: I told you about it. It's one of the best

556
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: we're gonna I'll help you here, though you tell yours,

557
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: I'll tell mine well. And so I was gonna say

558
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 1: that one of the reasons that I was able to

559
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: open up to Ben about this was because he has

560
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 1: obviously as warm and welcoming as he is. Not only

561
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: was he like receptive and empathetic, but he also had

562
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: a very similar story of his own to share back

563
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 1: with me, which only just helps us connect on a

564
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: deeper level. I think, right, I don't want to diminish

565
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,959
Speaker 1: how great this podcast is gonna be. Getting to know you.

566
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 1: I have a feeling that this will be the segment

567
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: that gets the most response. My heart's beating a factor

568
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: that normally I thought about this story a lot, and

569
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 1: I thought about how if I ever decided to share

570
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: it publicly, how I would go about doing it. I

571
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: never thought that I would be sharing it on a podcast.

572
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Um. So, I was bullied a lot

573
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: in high school and middle school for one very specific

574
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: read well, yeah, for one specific reason. Um. And I've

575
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 1: only just started sharing this story, probably within the past year,

576
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: so I would say December was the first time I

577
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: started staring sharing this story, so less than a year actually, um,

578
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 1: and some of my closest friends know about it. My

579
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: current girlfriend knows about it. Ben obviously knows about it.

580
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: Band's girlfriend knows about it. And you know what, I'm

581
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 1: just gonna share it anyways. I don't know if we

582
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: can curse on this one. Let's go ahead and bleep

583
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: that out. So. I was bullied a lot in middle

584
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: school and in high school because of an event that

585
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: happened to me when I was six years old. I

586
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: hurt myself in a way that's very specific to how

587
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: only a man can hurt himself. UM. And I didn't

588
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 1: have the courage to stand up for myself later on

589
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: in life to the people that would then bully me

590
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 1: forward that event. So it was first grade. It was recess.

591
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: I was. We had this like suspension bridge on the playground,

592
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 1: and on the sides of the sustension suspension bridge, obviously

593
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: we're like these ropes to hold the bridge in the air.

594
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 1: And one of the ropes came undone somehow throughout the

595
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: wear and terror of the of a normal day, and uh,

596
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: they were attached at the bottom by these little hooks

597
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: that would like hook onto the bridge. And so marks

598
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: marks already kind of get into it a little bit.

599
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: This is not even looking anymore. And so as a

600
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: six year old, curious, adventurous, excited, I put my foot

601
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: on the hook to like swing back and forth and

602
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: beat my chest like Tarzan swinging through the jungle. And uh,

603
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: sure enough, that hook was small, My foot was small,

604
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: didn't have very good grip. Slipped off. This bridge was

605
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: probably i want to say, seven ft in the air.

606
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: I was, you know, three ft tall. So it was

607
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: a tall bridge, and the hook, instead of finding anywhere

608
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: else to fall it, decided to go right it between

609
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: my legs, hook onto the thing that carries the two

610
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: things that define us as meant and ripped up just

611
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: about to just below the end of that other thing

612
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: that it literally ripped all the wa up to the

613
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: end of his penis, scrolled him to the end of

614
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 1: his penis, if we're using those words, shore from about

615
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: halfway on my ball sack to about three uh just

616
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: below the tip of my penis about six inches, So like,

617
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 1: you know, let's just say it was a big it

618
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: was a top. It's a big cut, uh yes. And

619
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: so obviously, as a six year old, I run to

620
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: the doctor. I'm like screaming, I'm crying. I have no

621
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: idea what to do. So I like hobble run all

622
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: the way up to the nurse and she goes, this

623
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: is way over my head. I gotta figure out what

624
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: to do with nurse. So she calls my mom, my mom.

625
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm like laying in the nurse's office. My mom comes

626
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: and she's like, okay, well, we've gotta like bring you

627
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: to surgery. So I go to like the nearest surgeon

628
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: and they stitched me up. I think it was like

629
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: four you're so stitches and my penis from my scrolled

630
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: them to the up up the shaft to my penis

631
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: down to just blow the head um. Everything was fine

632
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: obviously as a six year old, so I don't remember

633
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: the pain too much. I remember like some of the

634
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: side effects, like having the gaza every every so often.

635
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: My mom had like take care of me, clean me,

636
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: make sure it was like disinfected um. And for the

637
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: longest time, I was like, this is the worst thing

638
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: that ever could have happened to me, Like I'm deformed,

639
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: I'm so abnormal. Everything was fine, Like my penis and

640
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: scrolled them are perfectly fine. I just got like kind

641
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: of a narlage scar down there, you know what I mean.

642
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: We were able to to urinate normally. Oh, I don't remember,

643
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: I think so I remember the catheter for an extended period. No,

644
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: I didn't definitely didn't need a catheter. I remember one

645
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: specific story. We were like I went on vacation somewhere

646
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: and this hotel had to pool, and I really wanted

647
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: to go to the pool, but obviously wasn't allowed in

648
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: the water because I had this open wound on my

649
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: on my testicles. And I remember like like hobbling running

650
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: down the hallway for a long time. My brother. I

651
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: don't know, it's just this this very distinct memory that

652
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: I have. But um, as kids do, they like to

653
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: obviously like create stories and start rumors. And what they

654
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: did was they kind of started this rumor that I

655
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: only had one testicle for a long long time and

656
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: it didn't really matter much. When I was an elementary

657
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: school or middle school at this rumor was going around

658
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: that I I had one testicle. But then when I got

659
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: to high school, when testicle has become an important thing, right,

660
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: the rumor became that I only had one testicle still

661
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: when I was in high school, and everyone like joked

662
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: about it like behind my back and something like very

663
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: rarely brought it up to my face, but it happened

664
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: a couple of times, and I was always like so

665
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: like ashamed and taking it. Like I couldn't defend myself

666
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: because I just wasn't confident enough to be like, I've

667
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: got two testicles, and I like everyone needs to know it,

668
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And so I was bullied

669
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: pretty heavily for that. And on top of that, I

670
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: had like a very attractive my sister is very attractive,

671
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: and they always like bullied me for that. Um and

672
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 1: then I like because of I don't know, if it

673
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: was because of the stitches that I got on my

674
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: scrolled him, or I had a couple of unique injuries

675
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: as well. But I walked really funny. And so everyone

676
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: in high school, well not everyone, like the upper classman

677
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: when I was playing football, they would always say that

678
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: I walked around, I had a build up my and

679
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: so because of these things, and he didn't, and so

680
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: I did not have a build um. And this was

681
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: a story that Ben and I bonded over because Ben,

682
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: I think has maybe shared on this podcast almost famous,

683
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: but he has a similar ish story. But I just

684
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: want to be clear, right, that's similar in the hook

685
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: to the genital yeah, not the second party. Oh and

686
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: also I think I might have shared this on the

687
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: Help I Suck, a dating podcast. But when I moved

688
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles, one of the first things I did

689
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: was to get my potency checked. And what I said

690
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: was on the podcast the first time was that I

691
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: wanted to, you know, I just wanted to see how

692
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: I was doing down there, just out of curiosity. But

693
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: the reality of it is, I just wanted to know

694
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: if like the stitches or you know, the rusty hook

695
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: that just cut my penis open, maybe like inhibited my

696
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: ability to have children. Who knows, right, the long story short,

697
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: it didn't like it might. Everything's fine down there in

698
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: that sense, But that's always it was always just going

699
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 1: to send pictures out if anybody's like, yeah, send pics.

700
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: No that's not funny, it's about I can show you.

701
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: Well I won't, but I could. I can't. Got really excited.

702
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: Is it Is it that noticeable? No, it's not. And

703
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: no one you would, like of all the girlfriends I've

704
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: ever had, no one ever knew about it until I

705
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: finally just started telling, like talking about it a year ago, right, Um,

706
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: and yeah, I think like talking about it it's kind

707
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: of like released some of the power that has had

708
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: on me. The thing is like a lot of the

709
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: kids from high school with like some of my best

710
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: friends from high school still think that I probably only

711
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: have one testicle. Let's being a clear you have to

712
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: I have two testicles and they both function as testicles

713
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: for function. Um, I guess I can share this story.

714
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,719
Speaker 1: Like the reason the first time I ever opened up

715
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: about the scar my penis uh is when Leslie and

716
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: I were dating. Leslie of course had a double mistech

717
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: to me, and she has scars on her breast because

718
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: of that, and I was like, look, you're not that

719
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: different than me. I've got a scar on my genitals

720
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: as well, and let me prove it to you. And

721
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: so that's how I started. That was like, the first

722
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: time I told the story to someone, what was her response?

723
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 1: She was like, why are you so freaked out about this? Like,

724
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: if your penis is perfectly normal, that's kind of weird

725
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: talking about my penis in the context of my ex girlfriends.

726
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: But that was but that was the first time I

727
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: ever shared the story with anyone, right, And so then

728
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: then I would like kind of get drunk with some

729
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: of my US friends and be like, hey, guys, I've

730
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: got a funny story to tell you about my penis.

731
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: And obviously they're like, yeah, tell us, this is going

732
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: to be great. Yeah. And it was I the first

733
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: ever go I think I don't have one, the one upset.

734
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: It's on the same level though, and I you were

735
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: the first one to ever rebuttal with the story of

736
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 1: your own, which I really appreciate, and I would I mean,

737
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: if you want to give us like a I would

738
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: love to. Yeah, that make you feel better. It's a

739
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: great segment we're gonna we're gonna skip all of Dean's

740
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: childhood just for this segment. But I guess the point

741
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: the point of that story was that that was something

742
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: that I was centrally bullied for for a lot as

743
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: a kid, Right, the thought that I had a test?

744
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny that it's not funny? Isn't it odd

745
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: that some of those stories like that that we maybe

746
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: like suppress and hold deep and like laugh about now

747
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: a little bit are the ones that have affected us

748
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: a most as we've grown up. This story that I'm

749
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: about to share did suck my confidence away. Um, Okay,

750
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: So here it is. I'll tell a quick version later

751
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: on what we record a longer version of it. Um.

752
00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: I was so freshman year of Heist school. Um, I

753
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: got called to be the starting quarterback. It's a big deal.

754
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: Two injuries. It wasn't because I was great. It was

755
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: two injuries. I got to step up and I had

756
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 1: a great first game. It was awesome. It was fun.

757
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: I thought, like the futures in football. Um, sophomore year,

758
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to start again. Obviously, Um, the senior class

759
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 1: had graduated, and so I have a shot to to

760
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: be the starter. All of a sudden, I start feeling

761
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: like just a pain in my testicles, like a soreness,

762
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: a heat like just like it throbbed all the time.

763
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: So I'd reach down there and I was feeling just

764
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: in case there's something going on, and I felt a

765
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: clump like a bump, a clump of of something in

766
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: my testicles, and so I told my parents and they

767
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: took me to the doctor. I went to doctor, and

768
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: the doctor diagnosed me with something called a very coast seal.

769
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: Very co steal is something very common one in four

770
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 1: men and get it um. Not every I think it's

771
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 1: one and eight that need to get removed. But mine

772
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: was big enough that I need to get removed. But

773
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 1: a very coast seal is is it's a it's an

774
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: extra like vein in your sack that heats that blood

775
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: comes through I' sleep and it overheats your testicles and

776
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: so it would kill off your sperm. So if you

777
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: leave it for long enough, actually your sperm will stop

778
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: producing um and you'll become sterile. So you need to

779
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 1: get removed at some point soon. Well, mine started to

780
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: get so bad and so sore that I did it.

781
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: A couple of months before football season, thinking I'll get

782
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: this done, I'll get it cleared up and then I'll

783
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: be good to go for football. It's an easy surgery. Actually,

784
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 1: they just go in through your groin um arthur scopic.

785
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 1: They pull it out, cut it up, caught aorized the ends.

786
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: You don't even hardly know it happened, and within two

787
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,839
Speaker 1: days you're back gone. So all that's going really well

788
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: for me. Um I go in for surgery, I come

789
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: back home. I remember this. I'm laying on my bed

790
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: in my house and all of a sudden, um, my

791
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: nuts just start hurting so bad after surgery. And at

792
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: the time I thought maybe it was because I just

793
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: had surgery in my testicles. That would make sense, right,

794
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: But they start hurting so bad and they start burning.

795
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: And I called my dad in. It's been about twenty

796
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: four hours in surgery, and I said, Dad, I need

797
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: you to look at these. It hurts so bad. And

798
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 1: so I lifted up my my sheets or whatever, and

799
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: he looked, and he's like, we need to get you

800
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: the doctor right now. My ball had swollen up to

801
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: the size of a grapefruit and we didn't know why.

802
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 1: So my my I had a massive testicle, and I

803
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 1: go into the doctor and this is what the doctor does.

804
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 1: Literally what happened was the vein that they're supposed to

805
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: caughter ice together did not cauter ice completely, and so

806
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,439
Speaker 1: blood was just pumping directly every time my heart would

807
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: pump into my testicle. And so they had to take

808
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: a needle, a drainage needle, and shove it right into

809
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: my ball sack without numbing me because it was getting

810
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: so big so fast, and start draining the blood and

811
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: the liquid off of my ball sack like as I'm

812
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: wide awake and on non numbed, non numbed, well, my

813
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: swelling doesn't go down for a few days. And so

814
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 1: I go back to the high school and because of

815
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: the damage that's been done down there, and it was

816
00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: a lot of damage, you know, they had to go

817
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: back in recaught her eyes. They had just stuck a

818
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 1: needle in my testicles. Like there's a lot of like

819
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: trauma to a place that's like really sensitive. It stayed swollen,

820
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: and I had to go back to high school and

821
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: I had to sit on ice in every class. I

822
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: couldn't missed more class and so I had to sit

823
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: on ice. So I had to carry an ice bag

824
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 1: around and sit on it where you can't hide that

825
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: in class, and so people would ask what's happened, what happened? Well,

826
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: it got to the point where it's like, screw it,

827
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna start showing, like people my testicle. So

828
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: I showed the football team, like why I wasn't practicing?

829
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 1: And I showed the basketball team, like why I wasn't

830
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: going to the open gyms, like here, check out my

831
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: my testicles, and they did, and I'm not kidding, like

832
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: it's it's still to this day. Was something that was

833
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: brought up every time I was like, I had a

834
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: deformed test school that was the size of a grape

835
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,800
Speaker 1: fruit for probably two weeks of my life in class.

836
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: So that's why Den and I related on that. So

837
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: at that point, So at that point, Dina and I

838
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: are sitting around having drinks at Ashley Jared's wedding going

839
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: I knew I liked you, and I knew there's a

840
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: reason why, but I got made fun of it for

841
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: it too, and it really did affect me and like,

842
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: I think a little bit of my confidence. I don't

843
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: know if you felt this way, but the fact that

844
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: every underlying story about I felt like everybody was talking

845
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: about behind my back. Oh yeah, absolutely. I thought I

846
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: was gonna be a virgin for my entire life. I

847
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: was like, I'm no one's everyone asleep with me? Well,

848
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about later. That hasn't in the case.

849
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: And what's funny is I remember when I hooked up

850
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 1: with my my girlfriend for the first time, she spent

851
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: a lot of extra time down there, like examining, like

852
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: feeling around, making sure everything felt normal because she had

853
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 1: obviously heard the stories, and she was like, Okay, well,

854
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: I'm going to spend a little bit time, you know,

855
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: figuring it out. But I was like, I was like

856
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: I would wake up has like a thirteen I lost

857
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 1: my virgin any when I was sixteen. I think I

858
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 1: would wake up almost every single day before that happened.

859
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to be a virgin forever.

860
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: No one's gonna want to like have sex with me.

861
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: This is the worst thing in the world. How could

862
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: this happen to me of all people? Like this sucks?

863
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 1: And then obviously I lost it, and then I began

864
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: to realize, like, there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, I

865
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: just like I created this thing in my head where

866
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I let this have some power

867
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 1: over me in a weird way. There's there's about four

868
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 1: or five health stories from my high school to days,

869
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 1: middle school in high school days that have like dramatically

870
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: affected my life. We'll talk about him at some other point.

871
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: Five there's some wild ones man, and we'll talk about

872
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: at some other point, but not today. But that that

873
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:22,720
Speaker 1: is my best story with UM. Yeah, with with our nuts.

874
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 1: Um Hey, before d and I really want to dive

875
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 1: into your childhood and some of the parts that mean

876
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 1: the most. But before we do, let's take one break

877
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: and we'll come back. UM to reach out with Dean.

878
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 1: If you've been listening to the show for any amount

879
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,239
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880
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,680
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881
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882
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883
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884
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887
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890
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891
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893
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894
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895
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898
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899
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900
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901
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904
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,040
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905
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 1: Frame bridge dot com promo code almost famous. A lot

906
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: of screwed them talk today on the podcast. That's actually

907
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: a fantastic segment because it's it's so real, it's so true,

908
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 1: and it really did. It really did affect I just

909
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: I can I mean, honestly, ever since you told me

910
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: this story, I can't get over the idea that there's

911
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 1: a hook that just dolly ripped apart. You're under carriage, um,

912
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: dean with that, we're in a transition. It's there's no

913
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: easy way to do this. Um, what are your happiest

914
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: moments growing up? My happiest moments growing up? That's a

915
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: great question. Actually I don't know, um, I My childhood

916
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: started off kind of weird where we like lived in

917
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: RV Park up until I was about four or five

918
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: years old. Um, and I have like some distinct memories

919
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: from the r V that we're pretty wholesome. Like we

920
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: remember sitting on top of our ore well it was

921
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: a bus, right, so my dad like gutted us school

922
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 1: bus and put a bunch of beds into it, and

923
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 1: we lived in that for like four years. And I

924
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: just thinkly remember like one time we sat on top

925
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: of this bus and like watch some demolition derby while

926
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 1: we were eating oreos at night in some like town

927
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: in Oklahoma or something weird like that. Like that was

928
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: a good memory. UM. As a kid, like older wise,

929
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. It's basically it was a

930
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: normal childhood, except aside from obviously all those other things,

931
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I remember we had

932
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: an easter and steamboat where like my mom had candy

933
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: around the apartment that we were staying in, like the

934
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: hotel room or something like that. I remember like spending

935
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: a lot of time with my brothers and sister like

936
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: looking for him, like having fun, and the snow was

937
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: falling outside and we're like this cool, exciting new place.

938
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: Just like small things like that, Um, but I don't

939
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 1: remember anything like specific. That's like that was like the

940
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: happiest moment of my life. You know. Do you think, um,

941
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: your family would look back on Dean as a kid

942
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 1: and say, we knew this who he is going to become?

943
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 1: What have I become? I guess is the question? Well,

944
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: you're living in a van, um. You you have a

945
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 1: lot of wonder lust. You're an artist, you do incredible videos, um,

946
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: and you've you can be kind of this like artist

947
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: wonder lust figure. And also I don't, I don't. I

948
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: can't say it any other better way, Like do really

949
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 1: well in reality television in some weird way. Yeah, what's

950
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 1: funny is the first time I went on the show,

951
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: my best friend was like, dude, you're gonna suck on

952
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 1: that show, like you're way too normal for it. And

953
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: I guess the more I think about it, the more

954
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: I'm like, I hope I'm not normal, you know what

955
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: I mean? Um? And what's funny about the living in

956
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: a van things? I'm actually in the majority in my

957
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: family for living in a van. My brother lives in

958
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: his truck, my father lives in an RV. My sister

959
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: and other brother both live in like home like an apartment.

960
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: Uh so three out of five of us live in

961
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 1: a car essentially, So I'm not wholly unique in my

962
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: family specifically. Um, I don't think that they would look

963
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: at me and think that at all, But like, I

964
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:01,919
Speaker 1: don't know what interesting story about out my old Both

965
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 1: my brothers are older, but the second brother right. Uh.

966
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: None of us in our family are like really good

967
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: at communicating our feelings, especially as it comes to like

968
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 1: being brothers with each other, like how much we mean

969
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 1: to each other. Just a weird thing for brothers to do. Um.

970
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: On top of that, we're just weird people to begin with.

971
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: And I remember my brother's girlfriend and I were like

972
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: we were all going out, me, my brother, his girlfriend,

973
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 1: and my other brother and both my brothers went upstairs

974
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: because they forgot something. So it's just like me and

975
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: my brother's girlfriend were like waiting for them downstairs. I

976
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 1: remember she said something to me. She was like, Ross,

977
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: uh the other day told me how special you are?

978
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 1: And he was like, he told me that he that

979
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: Dean possesses all of my good qualities and none of

980
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 1: my bad qualities. And I was like, wow, I would

981
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 1: never expect Ross to say that, Like he would never

982
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 1: say that to me, just me and him talking, you

983
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it was like a cool

984
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: third party way to like find out that I don't know,

985
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 1: my brother's thought highly of me, which I've never really thought.

986
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 1: I would never think they thought lowly of me, you

987
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: know what I mean. But like it was just like

988
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: it's an interesting thing to hear that I really appreciated um.

989
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: But no, I mean, I don't think anyone would ever

990
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 1: expect or have suspected this. I was always kind of

991
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: this weird black sheep, where like I was the only

992
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: member of my family to have like an office job

993
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 1: as a recruiter, like I I set in an office

994
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: for at a desk for for you to fIF two

995
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: hours a week, and all my other brothers are like

996
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: your siblings are like you know my sister's hairstyle as

997
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 1: my brother is a waiter, My other brother is a carpenter,

998
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 1: My father is a carpenter. So it's like, I don't

999
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 1: know why I felt like this need to kind of

1000
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: have like a more of a normal life at first. Um,

1001
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: obviously reality tv TV kind of derailed that normalcy a

1002
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 1: little bit, but uh, yeah, I don't know if it

1003
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: if childhood wasn't full of like the happiest memories and

1004
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: what are some of the hardest Uh, childhood was not

1005
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 1: full of that? Well, obviously that the story of my

1006
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 1: balls is not the best story. You had to bring

1007
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: it back. Um, when I was ten, my best friend

1008
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 1: got hit by a truck. That was like the first

1009
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: experience of trauma that I've like I was kind of

1010
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: had to deal with. He was my best friend. His

1011
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 1: name was Hunter Holly Scott. Uh. He and I shared

1012
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: a birthday April seventeenth, nine. And you know when you're

1013
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 1: that age, like that's like a big deal. It's like

1014
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: it's like enough of a reason to become best friends

1015
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: with someone. And we were neighbors. We lived pretty close

1016
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 1: to each other, so we spent a lot of time together.

1017
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: But yeah, we were best friends. And then one summer

1018
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: we were both like riding our bicycles to the market

1019
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: and we had picked up like some drinks and some

1020
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: snacks and we were riding back. And as I was riding,

1021
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 1: we were riding back, he was like maybe ten feet

1022
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: in front of me, and he lost his balance and

1023
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 1: he fell over into the street. And as he fell

1024
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,799
Speaker 1: over into the street, truck came and ran him over,

1025
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: like ran his head over. It was actually, it was

1026
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: pretty pretty, uh pretty graphic. So that was my first

1027
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: first Prussian with trauma, right when I was ten years old.

1028
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: And I actually remember funny enough to to kind of

1029
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: bring this back to what we were talking about earlier.

1030
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 1: As I was sitting there as a ten year old

1031
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: on the side of the road, like my best friend's

1032
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: brains were basically spilled out into the street. At this point,

1033
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: they had thrown tarp over it. Um they were like

1034
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: trying to contact both of our parents. But I remember

1035
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: I was sitting there like like the there's like a

1036
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,839
Speaker 1: crowd starting to gather from like the cold Desac because

1037
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, pretty close knit community, and

1038
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: they all that come around me and they're like are

1039
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: you okay? Are you okay? And I remember crying, and

1040
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: I remember the only reason that I was crying because

1041
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 1: it was because I felt like I was expected to

1042
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: be crying. Like I felt like people thought they were

1043
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: like Deans should be crying right now. So I was like,

1044
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry, like I'm gonna make it. But then

1045
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I was like, there's nothing

1046
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: I can do about this situation, so what's the point

1047
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: of crying, you know what I mean? But I was

1048
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: like performing, right I was like I was performative crying.

1049
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I'm supposed to be sad here,

1050
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna cry. And I was sad, of course,

1051
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 1: but like I felt like I wasn't necessarily visually as

1052
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: upset until I was like, oh, like I probably should

1053
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,800
Speaker 1: be crying right now, you know what I mean? Um,

1054
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: how do you how do you process that? As a

1055
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: ten year old? I don't think I ever really did,

1056
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 1: to be perfectly honest, I remember my parents were super

1057
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 1: like obviously they were there. My mom was like super supportive.

1058
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: She was like I'll do like whatever I need to

1059
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: do to make this better for you. Um. And then

1060
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: they were like, we're gonna like set you up in therapy.

1061
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 1: So I went to therapy a couple of times, but

1062
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: I like hated it. Um. And so they I was like,

1063
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: I asked him. I was like, I don't. I can't

1064
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: do therapy anymore, Like pull me out of therapy. I

1065
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 1: think it did like two sessions, um. And then it's

1066
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: kind of like I just kind of buried it and

1067
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 1: forgot about it for a long time. Uh, and like

1068
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: I still don't really think about it often. Like you know,

1069
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: I was ten years old, so my memory is like

1070
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: super strong from those times. I remember who's my best friend,

1071
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 1: and I remember like obviously the visual of it happening.

1072
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 1: But what's funny is then that fast forward ten well,

1073
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: I guess twelve years when I was twenty two, my

1074
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 1: best friend overdosed. He was found dead in a bathtub. Uh,

1075
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: the day that we were supposed to drive to Connecticut together.

1076
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: And as an adult, like obviously I had maybe like

1077
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: matured a little bit grown process my emotions more. That

1078
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,439
Speaker 1: death hit me a lot harder than I think even

1079
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 1: like the death of my mother because I was just

1080
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,879
Speaker 1: like older and I just I guess uh felt things

1081
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: more deeply, and so that one was pretty challenging. We

1082
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 1: had like a like a like a wake or whatever.

1083
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 1: We all got together to to like commemorate our friend Alex,

1084
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 1: and I remember I like give I like went up

1085
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 1: there to give a speech in front of like thirty

1086
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: of our friends, and I like broke down and started

1087
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: like crying, like uncontrollably, which is pretty uncommon for me,

1088
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: especially as it pertains that kind of trauma. Like I

1089
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: remember at Hunter's funeral, I was like running back up

1090
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: and forth, like giving speeches about some great memories that

1091
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: Hunter and I had together, and I was like smiling

1092
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: and laughing and having fun with it because like I

1093
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 1: was remembering the good times, right. But then with Alex,

1094
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: like I wasn't able to do that, and I just

1095
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: kind of like broke down and like couldn't even get

1096
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: words that sort of thing. But with my mom it

1097
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 1: was a little bit different, Like obviously, like my family

1098
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 1: was super close with her, but we didn't have like

1099
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: it wasn't like I was like giving speeches to my

1100
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: like not speeches, but like talking to my friends about things.

1101
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: It was kind of more just like me processing everything internally.

1102
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:30,919
Speaker 1: Um So, like the tath at ten with Hunter was hard,

1103
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 1: but in the death that fifteen for my mom was

1104
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 1: super harder than the death at twenty two for Alex

1105
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: was like probably the hardest, at least on the surface,

1106
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: like at least like emotionally. Obviously the death of my

1107
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: mom was probably the most influential. But I don't know.

1108
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 1: Death definitely has um a massive impact in all of

1109
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: our lives, but especially yours. Um at three separate segments,

1110
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 1: at three separate pivotal years of your life. It's weird

1111
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 1: that it came at like very very different times, right,

1112
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: I don't know how how was that effected you? I

1113
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: don't know, I really think about it. I think it

1114
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: Remember when I said earlier, like I think I struggle

1115
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 1: with empathy because I just like, I know that I've

1116
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 1: been through a lot of those bad things. And even

1117
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: when I was, like I said, when I was ten

1118
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 1: years old, I was sitting there, I was like, why

1119
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 1: am I crying? There's no point for me to cry

1120
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,439
Speaker 1: because I can't change anything. So like when I see

1121
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: something bad happen, or when something comes to me and

1122
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, this happened, and I'm really sad. I

1123
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 1: can be like, Okay, well I can help you do this,

1124
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 1: and I want to help you through this. UM, But

1125
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 1: in the back of my head the entire time, I'm thinking, like,

1126
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: just like get over it, because like it's done with

1127
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: and the only thing that you can now control is

1128
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: your reaction to it, and like your state of mind

1129
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: and your well being moving forward. So there's no point

1130
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: really dwelling on those negative things that happened in the past.

1131
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: And I go back and forth onto whether or not

1132
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 1: that's like a good thing or not. UM, like to

1133
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: be able to like look back and cry, Like sometimes

1134
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: I'll look back on my mom's passing and like cry

1135
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 1: a little bit and just like be like I feel

1136
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: good after like a nice cry, you know what I mean. UM,

1137
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:00,839
Speaker 1: But I think like overall, I don't try to let

1138
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 1: it affect me too much. And like my advice for people,

1139
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: as like callous as it might sound, is just to

1140
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, just like I think happier thoughts, you

1141
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 1: know what I mean. No, I don't, UM, because I

1142
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: don't think that's always an option, but it is. Though

1143
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: that's kind of the point is like that's really the

1144
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: only option is to deal with things like yeah you can, ah,

1145
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 1: you can like dwell on it and like let it

1146
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: affect you negatively for the longest time, but at the

1147
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 1: end of the day, like that's just time wasted dealing

1148
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 1: with this negative thoughts unless you're actually growing from the thoughts,

1149
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 1: right unless you're actually like sitting down and processing things

1150
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,879
Speaker 1: and they're being like, Okay, like this sucked. Um, I'm

1151
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 1: gonna remember like all the positive times and all the

1152
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: good memories and try to like make them proud through

1153
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: my life moving forward. But if you're like having consistent

1154
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: negative thoughts about something like that, then the only thing

1155
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: you really can do is be like, Okay, well, I'm

1156
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 1: just gonna change it around and be positive about it,

1157
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I would imagine what I'm

1158
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: thinking through right now is though when you duly and

1159
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: and I get Hunter put a huge roll in your life,

1160
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 1: but you were ten and like life at tin is

1161
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,240
Speaker 1: is a lot about having fun and yeah it's pretty simple.

1162
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: But as you lose your mother and then Alex, there's

1163
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,320
Speaker 1: huge pieces of your life that now are being taken

1164
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 1: it's not so simple. And there there is a there's

1165
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: a value that they held in your life that is

1166
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 1: now gone. How do you how do you look at

1167
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 1: the how do you replace those things? Do you replace them?

1168
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 1: I don't think you replace them. I think that Uh.

1169
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell obviously is a great author. I remember I

1170
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: can't remember which book it was that he wrote. I

1171
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: think it was Tipping Point perhaps, but he said something

1172
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 1: along the lines of no child is aware of how

1173
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: unique their situation is. And because every child thinks that

1174
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,360
Speaker 1: their childhood is exactly like everyone else's, you know what

1175
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: it means. So like when I'm ten, I think, like

1176
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: everyone else is going through the same stuff I'm going

1177
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: through in my situation isn't unique. When I'm fifteen, I

1178
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: think the same thing. I think, like my life is

1179
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 1: just my life and it's not like wholely unique in

1180
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 1: any sort of way. Um, but yeah, you're right. I

1181
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 1: was obviously much more affected practically speaking, by the death

1182
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,720
Speaker 1: of my mom than I was by obviously Hunter or Alex.

1183
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 1: I kind of like turned the world upside down in

1184
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 1: a lot of ways. But but again I was just

1185
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 1: like dealing with it, like you haven't really no choice

1186
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 1: but to just put it all aside and figure it

1187
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 1: out as you go, you know, yeah, and I and

1188
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 1: I think though the those moments, though, dinare like the

1189
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: ones that always feel like they they hit the hardest,

1190
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,439
Speaker 1: they're the hardest to process, but they're there the things

1191
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: that connect us the most. So there's a lot of

1192
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 1: people out there listening that have have obviously related with

1193
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,760
Speaker 1: you because of the deaths of friends or close family members,

1194
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,760
Speaker 1: and I think your story is one that they listened

1195
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: to and and sit on. I would imagine anxiously going

1196
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: how do you do it? Like, how do you continue

1197
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 1: to move forward in the midst of great pain and

1198
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 1: great sorrow? And to those people that are saying that

1199
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: and looking at you, is that that figure to help

1200
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: them respond? What would you say? Well, I just don't

1201
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 1: think you really have much of another option. It's like,

1202
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: if you're not moving forward, then you're standing still and

1203
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 1: moving backwards. And it's like, well, do you want to

1204
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: look back and be like, Okay, well I just wasted

1205
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 1: all that time feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for

1206
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: the people around me, feeling sorry for my situation. Or

1207
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: did I use that time to figure it out and

1208
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 1: kind of grow from it? And it's obviously it's easier

1209
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: said than done. Um, they were like some pretty dark

1210
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: times when I was like between fifteen and eighteen, I

1211
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 1: like basically lived by myself, Like my dad kicks my

1212
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 1: brothers out of the house, and then he was gone

1213
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 1: all the time, either traveling for work or visiting his

1214
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,839
Speaker 1: I think his mom was sick in New Jersey other time. Um,

1215
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 1: And so I spent a lot of time alone and

1216
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: like a house made for six people, right, which is

1217
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 1: just a weird it's a weird, eerie situation. Um, But

1218
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 1: I never felt like, I don't know, it never felt

1219
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: like a challenge, you know what I mean, because it

1220
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: just felt it was just what was. And so that's

1221
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I struggle with empathy where it's it's

1222
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,400
Speaker 1: like I can't really put myself in those shoes because

1223
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 1: I just felt I've always felt like whatever you're given

1224
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: is like the hand that you're supposed to be playing,

1225
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: and because of that, like you just kind to find

1226
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: a way to make that handle winning hand, you know

1227
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,280
Speaker 1: what I mean. Do you ever feel resentment then towards

1228
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 1: to myself life? I mean, if if you're sitting there

1229
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: and you look around, you go I've I mean, I

1230
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 1: had a ten years old had to witness my best

1231
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 1: friend get him on the set of Road. I've lost

1232
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,879
Speaker 1: my mother at a young age, and at twenty two,

1233
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: I lost my best friend. I can move forward, but

1234
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: what I would feel, and this maybe is just me,

1235
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: is a resentment. I would still move forward, that can happen,

1236
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 1: but I would carry on this this kind of like

1237
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 1: chip on my shoulder saying this isn't fair. Um. I

1238
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 1: think the death of my mom really really brought that

1239
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 1: side out of me where I was like, this is

1240
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,720
Speaker 1: both like this doesn't make sense, this isn't fair. Um.

1241
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: The Testical story was a big one too. I was like,

1242
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 1: this doesn't make it, Like why me? Why me? Of

1243
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 1: all people was I chosen? It's a funny story, but

1244
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 1: like really did hurt, Like you know, yeah, Like emotionally,

1245
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: I thought my life was like transformed in a negative

1246
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: way forever, more so than because I was young, I

1247
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 1: didn't know any better. Um, but with my mom too,

1248
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: It's it's tough losing a mother or a parent, especially

1249
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 1: obviously losing anyone is difficult. But like a lot of

1250
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: my friends that I was like super super close with

1251
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 1: in high school, like they all had families that were

1252
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 1: like super tight and they were always super supportive there,

1253
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 1: like if you ever need anything, like you can come

1254
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 1: to us and ask for it. But that was I

1255
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 1: think that's kind of a reason why I kind of

1256
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: didn't really ever feel the need to share my story

1257
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 1: post college or anything like that, like an adulthood was because, uh,

1258
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: no one really understands until they experience it. And so

1259
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 1: my friends, when I the people I was friends within college,

1260
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,919
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, in high school, they all had like very

1261
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 1: well off families. Everyone was wealthy, everyone was happily married.

1262
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 1: They didn't really deal with much adversity in their lives,

1263
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 1: and so I did. I didn't feel comfortable sharing my

1264
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: story with those people because they didn't they didn't get it,

1265
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, And so I kind

1266
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 1: of just swept it under the rug and and kind

1267
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 1: of kept quiet about it for a long time until

1268
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 1: obviously Bachelorrette when I shared it with However, many people

1269
00:56:56,239 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 1: watched the Bachelorrette. Um, but yeah, and it wasn't is

1270
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 1: the story of the your mom that was brought out.

1271
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: There's this master's storyline that I know you don't like,

1272
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 1: but but your dad was also highlighted then because there's

1273
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:14,959
Speaker 1: been this disconnect then that was at least portrayed during

1274
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 1: the show there. Well, what's funny about the my old

1275
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: Dad situation is it's like I've never really put myself

1276
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: in his shoes. I've never really considered what it was

1277
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 1: like to lose your wife at fifty years old. He's

1278
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,240
Speaker 1: never cooked a meal in his life for anyone, Like,

1279
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: he's never had to take care of anyone. He just

1280
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 1: made money and like funded our family for my mom

1281
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 1: to take care of us. Right, So it's not like

1282
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: he knew any better than to do what he did,

1283
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 1: which was basically disconnected, and do what he thought was best,

1284
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: and like he even asked him now he he doesn't

1285
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 1: think he did anything wrong, and I think he really

1286
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: believes that I didn't do anything wrong. But from my perspective,

1287
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 1: he did everything wrong. But that doesn't make him. That

1288
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: doesn't make what he did wrong. You know, he was

1289
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: just dealing with it the only way that he really

1290
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: knew how. And that's only something that I've kind of

1291
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: come around on recently where it's like I can't really

1292
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: blame the guy for for bailing out when I was

1293
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 1: fifteen or whatever, because that was like his way of

1294
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 1: dealing with his dramatic loss of his wife that he's

1295
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,960
Speaker 1: been married to for the past thirty years. Um sure,

1296
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: I always kind of considered like the loss of my

1297
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: mom to be like this weird everything obviously, but like

1298
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:14,919
Speaker 1: I always kind of wish that it brought our family

1299
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:16,919
Speaker 1: closer together rather than like it was kind of acting

1300
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 1: like a bomb that like put us put us all

1301
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: further apart um. And with my dad specifically, like he

1302
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 1: him and I had this this weird h dynamic on

1303
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 1: the show. And I remember being in high school and

1304
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: going to school every day, and like I got in

1305
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 1: trouble a lot. I was like always I was like

1306
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 1: the one obviously responsible for getting myself to school, which

1307
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: means I was late basically every single day, which means

1308
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 1: I was in detention and in suspension, etcetera all the time.

1309
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: I remember a couple of times the principle would pull

1310
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 1: me aside and be like, what's the deal, Like should

1311
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:45,040
Speaker 1: we get your dad in here to like talk about this,

1312
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: And I remember always being like, no, I hate my father.

1313
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 1: I never want to be like him, don't even talk

1314
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: to him, Like I don't even want to be part

1315
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 1: of this conversation, UM, and I was just like so

1316
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 1: vehemently like my dad sucks. I hate him so much.

1317
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: I hate him so much. And eventually, like the principle

1318
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 1: would be like okay, like I won't tell my I

1319
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: won't tell your father. Eventually obviously they tell my father,

1320
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 1: and it just like kind of continue to drive a

1321
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: wedge between us. And there were like moments where we

1322
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: were like put things aside bygones, be bygones, Like my

1323
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: father drove me out to my university on to like

1324
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 1: you know, what is it like visiting weekend where you

1325
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: go check out and makeu you want to go to

1326
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: school there. So like we like had salvage the relationship

1327
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: like weirdly a couple of times, but ultimately ended up

1328
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: falling back apart. I think I think it's just like

1329
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 1: the Angler curse where we can't really stay communicative with

1330
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,919
Speaker 1: each other and we don't really stay in touch with people. Um,

1331
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: and then through high school like or through I'm sorry,

1332
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: through college, we weren't never really close and then uh,

1333
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 1: we like when I moved to l A. I saw

1334
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: him for a couple of days before I moved to

1335
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,479
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Two years later, I go on the show,

1336
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 1: and I didn't really talked to him since seeing him

1337
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: on my way from Denver to l A like stopped

1338
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 1: by for like a day and I hung out with him.

1339
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 1: But then since then, like it was two and a

1340
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 1: half years between that and going on The Bachelorette, hadn't

1341
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 1: talked to him, hadn't seen him whatever. And I knew

1342
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: going into that hometown that he was going to act

1343
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 1: like everything was like hunky door, everything was like okay, um.

1344
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 1: And I was like so deep in my own two

1345
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 1: where I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna

1346
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: call him out for it right now on national television,

1347
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 1: which in hindsight probably wasn't the best idea, but I

1348
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: was just like I didn't like that necessarily the facade

1349
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: that was being put on that like we were like

1350
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 1: a loving family that we all looked out for each

1351
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 1: other and that we all like we're just super tighten it,

1352
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 1: because we weren't. And then the second I saw him

1353
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: like try to pretend that we were, I was like,

1354
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna like lean into this

1355
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 1: and be like this is just isn't right. Um. And

1356
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 1: so yeah, that that whole experience on the show what's

1357
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 1: funny is like my dad loves the experience on the show,

1358
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 1: you know, Like he he'll even be like, yeah, dude,

1359
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: you were bole to me on the show, but it

1360
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: was the best experience of my life. Why he he's

1361
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 1: an narcissist, just like just like me, just like my

1362
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: brother is just like my sister. He he loves the

1363
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 1: attention that the show gave him for for however much

1364
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 1: time it gave it to him, Um, good or bad.

1365
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 1: Like he just like loved being in the spotlight quote

1366
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: unquote for that short amount of time. Ah. I would

1367
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: like to think that I don't reach that level of narcissism.

1368
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 1: I hope I don't. But yeah, he's he's got a

1369
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: funny mentality on it. And like we've obviously like prepared

1370
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: our relationship to some extent between then and now, like

1371
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: he helped me rebuild my van and build out the

1372
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:15,919
Speaker 1: living quarters of it a little bit. I like see

1373
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 1: him maybe like one once or twice twice a year

1374
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 1: to two or three times a year now. Um, and

1375
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 1: there's not really any love loss. Like he's he's getting older,

1376
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 1: and I know that at some point he's gonna die

1377
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 1: before I die, hopefully, Like that's how it works. You

1378
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 1: obviously want your kids to outlive your parents. Um, and

1379
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 1: I I don't want to live with the regret of

1380
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: not having a better relationship with my father after it's

1381
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: no longer to be had. Like after I can't you know,

1382
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 1: salvage anything. So uh, I go back and forth and

1383
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 1: like I try to make it work. And you know,

1384
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 1: obviously he lives his life. I live my life, and

1385
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: whenever we get together, it's like him kind of catching

1386
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 1: me up on all of his things and him talking

1387
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 1: the whole time, and it's great and we like to

1388
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:55,320
Speaker 1: see each other. But then it's just like in a

1389
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 1: reminder of like Okay, ye'll see again in six more

1390
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: months or two more months or however long it is.

1391
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 1: Just it's just like, you know, obviously people kind of

1392
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 1: grew apart. I guess would there have been an option

1393
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: to bring it, to bring the family together, like because

1394
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: of the passing of your mom, was there ever a

1395
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 1: pivotal point where it did kind of break the family apart? Um? Well,

1396
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 1: I think that's just actual passing of it. So my

1397
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:20,680
Speaker 1: brothers and my father all but it heads constantly. My

1398
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: dad was like an alcoholic for a long time. He's

1399
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: since been sober for I think like ten years or

1400
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 1: something like that, but for a long time he drank

1401
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: a lot, and I think that like tensions were high

1402
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 1: because you know, my brothers were like maybe like eighteen

1403
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 1: to three or twenty four living in the house, and

1404
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 1: my dad was like, you guys need to move out,

1405
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 1: like get your own place, figure out, get your life

1406
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 1: together sort of thing. Um, And that like kind of

1407
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: created some tenacity between the three of them, more so

1408
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: one of my brothers and the other. But uh, that

1409
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: was kind of a challenging thing too, because it's like

1410
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 1: one of my brothers was like my best friend and

1411
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 1: like he you know, I like respected him a lot,

1412
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 1: I liked him a lot, and then to see him

1413
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 1: and my father getting such heated arguments to each other,

1414
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,560
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I love my brother and he's

1415
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 1: like he's my role models and really and if he's

1416
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,160
Speaker 1: fighting my dad, then I should probably fight my dad too,

1417
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 1: And like, you know, it's just kind of one of

1418
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: those things where it's like a slippery slope or like

1419
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 1: a snowball effect where things just kind of got progressively

1420
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,959
Speaker 1: worse for no one, and no one was at fault

1421
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: for any of it, you know what I mean, They're

1422
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 1: just one of those weird things. I hear all of this,

1423
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: and one of the you know we we mentioned at

1424
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 1: the beginning of the podcast, one of the criticisms that

1425
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 1: you um that you get the most, that you're not

1426
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 1: unfamiliar with is Dean's got to grow up. Yeah. You

1427
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:29,200
Speaker 1: know what's really interesting after I hear all this is

1428
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: it made sense to me is you you grew up

1429
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 1: at a really young age, and I wonder if you

1430
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 1: met and there's no this is gonna be a weak statement,

1431
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 1: but you mastered adulthood at such a young age that

1432
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 1: now you can play around with it a little bit.

1433
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: Uh may perhaps I like to think that I'm never

1434
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 1: gonna grow up, though honestly, I guess I see. I

1435
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:50,800
Speaker 1: see your point. Like I had to grow up, support

1436
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 1: myself whatever from fifteen until now. I had to grow

1437
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: up maybe a little earlier. But also it's like I

1438
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 1: don't ever really want to lose like that child like

1439
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: spark that I think that we all kind of look

1440
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 1: back and be like, thing, I wish I was like that,

1441
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 1: But you built in the you built in the necessities

1442
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 1: to at least making your life function at such a

1443
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 1: young age that now you know them so clearly that

1444
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 1: you like that, you may that you you you hold

1445
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:17,919
Speaker 1: you fight hard to hold onto that childlike spark because

1446
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 1: a lot of your childhood was taken from you. I

1447
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 1: can understand that makes sense, I will say one of

1448
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 1: the metapsychologist. I don't. I'm not like diagnosing that. I'm

1449
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 1: just saying I'm hearing this. I'm saying it ten years old.

1450
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: If I had to put myself in a position of

1451
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,959
Speaker 1: seeing my friend get hit on the side of road

1452
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 1: and then lose my mom a few years later, and

1453
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: then at twenty two, kind of like I would say

1454
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 1: my twenty early twenties were like late teens. Early twenties

1455
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: were the years that like literally had If I would

1456
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 1: have experienced pain during that time, like real pain, I

1457
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 1: don't think I would have processed it, because it felt

1458
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 1: like a year's almost wasted of just bliss in college

1459
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: and euphoria. Like if those things happen to be like

1460
01:04:56,320 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 1: they happened to you, and they dramatically changed your course

1461
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 1: leading up to who we know today, how old are

1462
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 1: you know you're not too far removed from those years,

1463
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: I will say one of the one of the most

1464
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,480
Speaker 1: challenging things, well, not the most challenging things, but like

1465
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 1: I said, I grew up with a lot of kids

1466
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:22,680
Speaker 1: who had like well to do families a basically like

1467
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:26,560
Speaker 1: security blankets, security nets, right, I guess I always kind

1468
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,240
Speaker 1: of looked around at them too and resented them in

1469
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 1: a sense where I was like, look, if you fail

1470
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 1: miserably at whatever you want to do, like reach for

1471
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 1: the stars, you fail, you have them to lean on

1472
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 1: or like, they'll support you, they'll put you up, they'll

1473
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: like bring you back into their home and take care

1474
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: of you. If I do that, I'm gonna be living

1475
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 1: on the streets because I don't have anywhere to go

1476
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 1: other than wherever I can put myself, you know what

1477
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 1: I mean. And so for the longest time, I was

1478
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 1: always like, I don't have I don't I don't have

1479
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 1: a safety net. I don't have anything to do unless

1480
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,440
Speaker 1: I do it now and figure it out. And so

1481
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe kind of what you're getting at.

1482
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,000
Speaker 1: Where I was like, I was, everything was so on

1483
01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 1: me for the longest time, where now I guess I

1484
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 1: have the relity to be like, Okay, I can kind

1485
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:02,880
Speaker 1: of do whatever I want, and so I'm gonna do that.

1486
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: You know, I completely get it, and I've never thought

1487
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 1: about that with you, Dean until now. I'm never half Um.

1488
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:15,880
Speaker 1: It's a good psychoanalysis. It's just it's the part of

1489
01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 1: this podcast that I enjoy the most because getting down

1490
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 1: and hearing your story. UM. I don't know if it

1491
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:24,959
Speaker 1: allows me things to make sense, because afterwards, we're gonna

1492
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 1: walk out of here and we're gonna still struggle, and

1493
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get upset with you because you do lack

1494
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:30,920
Speaker 1: in your communication now and then, and I don't hear

1495
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:34,600
Speaker 1: from you for days, um, which I still don't know why. Um.

1496
01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna blame it on the Angler curse. But

1497
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I have no excuses for that type

1498
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 1: of stuff now, so I would never be like, oh,

1499
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: I'm this way because of I don't know genetics or

1500
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 1: because of the traumatic experience that I had as a kid.

1501
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:47,600
Speaker 1: I have no excuse to not be communicative with you

1502
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: other than you don't like me, ben Um. But all

1503
01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:55,000
Speaker 1: of it makes sense, which is why this podcast means

1504
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,400
Speaker 1: so much for me. I'm glad I'm doing it with you, Uh, Dean.

1505
01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: I want to get into what led you to be

1506
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:02,040
Speaker 1: on The bachelorret but before we do, we're gonna take

1507
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:13,120
Speaker 1: a break. Before we come back with Dean. I'm gonna

1508
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 1: take a second. At the end of the podcast, you're

1509
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 1: gonna hear a segment with one of my buddies, Bob Dalton,

1510
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:21,720
Speaker 1: talking about sackcloth and ashes. Uh blanket company giving blankets

1511
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:25,720
Speaker 1: to um people without homes all across the US. UH.

1512
01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: Their partnership with my company generous. So make sure you

1513
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:30,880
Speaker 1: tune in and wait to the end of the podcast

1514
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 1: conversation with myself and Bob Dalton. But until that conversation,

1515
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:39,120
Speaker 1: I am here with Dean Ungler, fan favorite from The

1516
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:43,680
Speaker 1: Bachelor at Bachelor in Paradise two times over and Bachelor

1517
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 1: Winner Games. We've we've caught up with Dean so far,

1518
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 1: but now we're getting into this stuff that listeners, you're

1519
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:55,440
Speaker 1: familiar with Dean. How do you end up on the show? Uh?

1520
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 1: But how did you end up on the show? Why

1521
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:00,720
Speaker 1: do you turn this on me? I was signed up

1522
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 1: through a friend and then I just went through it

1523
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 1: with myself and I kept doing the process. After they

1524
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 1: sent in my first like application, I just kept did

1525
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 1: a video and I did all that stuff the normal way.

1526
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 1: To do it. Um, well, I guess we can go

1527
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:17,600
Speaker 1: back to your season of the Bachelor. So we were

1528
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: watching your season while we weren't watching I've never really

1529
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:22,240
Speaker 1: watched the Shop before going on it? Did you? Um?

1530
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: Off and on? Yeah, my mom and I spent time

1531
01:08:25,479 --> 01:08:27,719
Speaker 1: when I would be home. We loved watching it together.

1532
01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:30,320
Speaker 1: But when I was away at like I wouldn't, it

1533
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 1: was just like my thing with her, which is great.

1534
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,360
Speaker 1: That's a nice little tradition to have. So what one

1535
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 1: of my best friends loved the show. It was always

1536
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:40,880
Speaker 1: kind of this thing that we ragged on him for.

1537
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 1: He would watched it by himself. You know, he doesn't

1538
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: like doing things alone, so sometimes he would like rope

1539
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:50,160
Speaker 1: and coaxes coaxes friends into watching it with him. I

1540
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:52,920
Speaker 1: remember one time he made me watch Caitlin Bristow's season.

1541
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:56,519
Speaker 1: Funny enough, I think it was with her one on Nick.

1542
01:08:56,960 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 1: I hadn't watched it again. Um. He is the one

1543
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:03,280
Speaker 1: that I moved to Los Angeles with. So your season

1544
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:05,160
Speaker 1: was on and I remember he made me watch a

1545
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:07,320
Speaker 1: couple episodes of your season with you, and I was like, Wow, man,

1546
01:09:07,320 --> 01:09:10,040
Speaker 1: that Kaylea Quinn girl. There's something about her that I

1547
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 1: just like really adore and admire UM. And so I

1548
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:18,759
Speaker 1: was working one day downtown Los Angeles and my friends

1549
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: were like, dude, there's a casting call and like Rancho

1550
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 1: Cucamonga like an hour and a half away, and I

1551
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 1: didn't have a car at the time, and I was like,

1552
01:09:24,880 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 1: I think Kayla was like just maybe announced as the bachelorette.

1553
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:29,960
Speaker 1: And I was like I gotta go, like she's my girl.

1554
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:33,040
Speaker 1: I want to figure this out. Ended up obviously not going,

1555
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:34,720
Speaker 1: and then Judge got announce the next day anyway, so

1556
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:38,479
Speaker 1: it wasn't a big deal. UM put that to bed

1557
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 1: for like a year or something like that. And then

1558
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,920
Speaker 1: a year later, like I'm at work again and that

1559
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 1: same friend of mine calls me and he goes, Dean,

1560
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something, and I want you to do

1561
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 1: I wanted to follow through with it no matter what

1562
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 1: it is, and what that something was was. He got

1563
01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:55,519
Speaker 1: me on a phone call with Amy, the producer of

1564
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:58,479
Speaker 1: this podcast we had uh core so much, who has

1565
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:01,599
Speaker 1: a great relationship with this I was executive producer, and

1566
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 1: so Amy and I talked on the phone for like

1567
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: an hour and a half and she was like, I

1568
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,519
Speaker 1: love I love your story. I love everything about this.

1569
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 1: Let's figure this out, let's try to get you on.

1570
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,599
Speaker 1: And then so the next day I received a call

1571
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:13,240
Speaker 1: from one another executive producer. Talked to her for like

1572
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:14,839
Speaker 1: an hour and a half, and she goes, oh my gosh,

1573
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,800
Speaker 1: like this, you're You're fantastic. Let's get you streamlined it.

1574
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:19,880
Speaker 1: This is like in February of the show films in March.

1575
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 1: Um and I fortunately lived local in Los Angeles, and

1576
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,320
Speaker 1: so they're like coming into these uh, coming to the

1577
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,560
Speaker 1: office meet. Some of the producers will give you like

1578
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 1: the psych test, we'll give you the physical, we'll give

1579
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 1: you the background check. But we need to do it

1580
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:36,439
Speaker 1: as quickly as possible because the show starts filming in

1581
01:10:36,479 --> 01:10:38,800
Speaker 1: like a couple of weeks. Um and I was at

1582
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:40,160
Speaker 1: a point in my life where I was single. My

1583
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: girlfriend and I had broken up a few months prior.

1584
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:45,040
Speaker 1: We were still on like friendly terms, but obviously it

1585
01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 1: wasn't really gonna amount to anything. Um And so I

1586
01:10:48,320 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, why not? Like I don't

1587
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:51,360
Speaker 1: really think I'm gonna go on the show, don't. I don't.

1588
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,640
Speaker 1: I think they'll find a way to not want me

1589
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:56,120
Speaker 1: on the show. So I did everything the things started

1590
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:57,920
Speaker 1: like progressing, and they were like every time you get

1591
01:10:57,960 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 1: two dollar step in the process, You're like, is this

1592
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:02,320
Speaker 1: for real? I don't I know. Um. Everything happened so

1593
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,040
Speaker 1: fast and so eventually they were like, yeah, we like

1594
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:07,519
Speaker 1: we want you. March thirteenth is your first day filming. Um.

1595
01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:09,320
Speaker 1: And there's like March five when they told me this

1596
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 1: or something like that, and I go like, are you

1597
01:11:11,120 --> 01:11:14,560
Speaker 1: sure like me? Is this really like the real Bachelorette?

1598
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 1: So it's all, like, it is very confusing, especially if

1599
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:20,280
Speaker 1: for someone that's like not like I don't watch the

1600
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 1: show very often, but I knew about it. I watched

1601
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:25,200
Speaker 1: like a couple episodes of Jojo season the day before

1602
01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,080
Speaker 1: going on to like kind of get an understanding for

1603
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:29,439
Speaker 1: it a little bit more. Uh. But if I just

1604
01:11:29,479 --> 01:11:31,280
Speaker 1: like kind of did everything that they told me to do,

1605
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,200
Speaker 1: and every time I went in and talk to them,

1606
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:35,160
Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, you're great, we think you're fantastic. We

1607
01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 1: would love to have you on, And every time I

1608
01:11:36,439 --> 01:11:40,080
Speaker 1: was like, really, are you sure like me? Um? And

1609
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:43,040
Speaker 1: then I went on and yeah, I think pretty pretty

1610
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 1: public knowledge. I packed to be on the show for

1611
01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:47,559
Speaker 1: like I expected to be gone night one back to

1612
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:52,200
Speaker 1: like a small duffel bag backpack. Uh, two suits, and

1613
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,120
Speaker 1: I just like I thought I was gonna go home.

1614
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:56,960
Speaker 1: I didn't tell any of my friends until like three

1615
01:11:57,040 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 1: of my best friends obviously the one that nominated me, uh,

1616
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:03,320
Speaker 1: one of my roommates. And then like the day before

1617
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:06,479
Speaker 1: I left, were having like a barbecue and I told

1618
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:07,600
Speaker 1: my guy friends, was like, yeah, I'm going on the

1619
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:11,519
Speaker 1: Bachelorette tomorrow, and no one else knew. And then, funny enough,

1620
01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:13,800
Speaker 1: actually the first day that I was on the Bachelorette

1621
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:16,160
Speaker 1: was the live show with Rachel and so like everyone

1622
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 1: knew right away that I was on the show, but

1623
01:12:19,040 --> 01:12:20,439
Speaker 1: I didn't have my phone for the next two and

1624
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:21,680
Speaker 1: a half months, so I couldn't like really talk to

1625
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,559
Speaker 1: anyone about it. But yeah, that's how it happened. My

1626
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:26,439
Speaker 1: friend just nominated me through Amy funny enough, and uh,

1627
01:12:26,479 --> 01:12:28,120
Speaker 1: it turned into be a much bigger thing than I

1628
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:30,920
Speaker 1: ever expected it to be. Amy Sugman, who he's talking about,

1629
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:33,680
Speaker 1: who helped him also start his new career in podcasting

1630
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 1: with the help I Suck at Dating podcast. Uh, So,

1631
01:12:36,479 --> 01:12:40,760
Speaker 1: go to your um wherever you listen to I Heeart podcast, Spotify,

1632
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 1: iHeart dot Com podcast, iTunes, I don't know, and and

1633
01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:48,320
Speaker 1: that podcast help I Suck at Dating is fitting? Uh,

1634
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,560
Speaker 1: because of your time on the Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise,

1635
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:54,200
Speaker 1: your time on the Bachelotte, I would say we talked

1636
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:56,559
Speaker 1: a lot about kind of the pivotal moments of it.

1637
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,639
Speaker 1: Um your time with Rachel did end after hometowns um

1638
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:05,560
Speaker 1: any residual consequences good or bad from that season in

1639
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:08,880
Speaker 1: the Batcherette? Do you still have a relationship with Rachel Um? Well,

1640
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:10,479
Speaker 1: first and foremost, I was shocked. I got sent home

1641
01:13:10,479 --> 01:13:12,040
Speaker 1: and I did I thought I was. I was like,

1642
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:14,120
Speaker 1: because I saw a couple of my good friends at

1643
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 1: my hometown. They didn't air any of it, unfortunately, but

1644
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 1: I gotta hang out with him after like the night

1645
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:21,080
Speaker 1: portion of my family a little bit. It was like

1646
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,800
Speaker 1: an emotional time, so like they like, let me I

1647
01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:25,560
Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks with my friends, like decompress

1648
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:28,120
Speaker 1: and unlined a little bit, and I was like talking

1649
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,519
Speaker 1: to them, I was like, you, guys, I think she's

1650
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 1: gonna choose me, Like I'm pretty sure I'm the one,

1651
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:33,680
Speaker 1: And they're like, wow, man, that's crazy. And like three

1652
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,240
Speaker 1: days later I texted them I was yeah, because I'm

1653
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:38,599
Speaker 1: not the one. Were you ready to get engaged Rachel? Um?

1654
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:40,840
Speaker 1: I think at the time I will. I don't know.

1655
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,120
Speaker 1: In hindsight, it's easy to say no that I wasn't

1656
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:44,720
Speaker 1: ready to get in good, but it's it's hard to

1657
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:47,000
Speaker 1: put myself back in that situation and say one way

1658
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 1: or the other whether I was or not. Obviously Rachel

1659
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:50,800
Speaker 1: made the right choice. She's she's married to the level

1660
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:53,240
Speaker 1: life Brian. So it's weird even like put myself back

1661
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:57,360
Speaker 1: in that situation at all. Um, But do I have

1662
01:13:57,360 --> 01:13:59,280
Speaker 1: a relationship with Rachel now? Not really like she obviously

1663
01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:03,280
Speaker 1: leads her life and of my life. Um gee, yeah,

1664
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,600
Speaker 1: I don't know what was the next question that was it?

1665
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:09,000
Speaker 1: Do you still have any like any any residual things

1666
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 1: fro the Bachelor? I mean, I feel like your time

1667
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:14,080
Speaker 1: of the Bachelotte ended, and it's really we know you

1668
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:16,679
Speaker 1: best through your time on Bachelor in Paradise, in Bachelor

1669
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:19,240
Speaker 1: Order game more well, more well defined and known for

1670
01:14:19,320 --> 01:14:21,040
Speaker 1: my time in Bachelor Paradise. And I will say my

1671
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:24,479
Speaker 1: time on Bachelotte, I mean it went overarchingly incredibly well,

1672
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:27,759
Speaker 1: like I was with Peter Krauss. You know, a fan favorite.

1673
01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:29,920
Speaker 1: There were really no negative things that were said about me,

1674
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:33,240
Speaker 1: which was like and all honestly a bad first impression.

1675
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:36,960
Speaker 1: Like it sucks that the first taste of like publicity

1676
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:39,959
Speaker 1: that I've ever experienced my life was so overwhelmingly positive,

1677
01:14:40,240 --> 01:14:42,240
Speaker 1: because then that set me up to be so crushed

1678
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,200
Speaker 1: by any negative publicity that I would received later on,

1679
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:48,400
Speaker 1: which I obviously inevera believed did. Um. So my tagline

1680
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:52,160
Speaker 1: was the perfect bin you literally can't set yourself up

1681
01:14:52,160 --> 01:14:54,760
Speaker 1: for I get it, any more failure than that. The

1682
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:56,479
Speaker 1: perfect band. Well, you are a perfect tense. I guess

1683
01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I wonder what mine would have been,

1684
01:14:58,520 --> 01:15:02,040
Speaker 1: you think, m hm, Because I didn't. I didn't live

1685
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:03,280
Speaker 1: a vent at the time. I was like a normal

1686
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:06,080
Speaker 1: guy at the time. I mean you had yeah you

1687
01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:09,000
Speaker 1: still to this day you you have an aura and

1688
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:11,400
Speaker 1: a uniqueness about you that I think would have added

1689
01:15:11,439 --> 01:15:13,920
Speaker 1: some great taglines. And even then, people like you you

1690
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:15,960
Speaker 1: have the movie star thing going for you. I don't

1691
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:17,320
Speaker 1: know what that means, but I appreciate it. I think

1692
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:20,360
Speaker 1: it's Yeah, it's a huge compliment. Yea imilia at least

1693
01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:22,120
Speaker 1: minute as it so like they talked to me about

1694
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:25,720
Speaker 1: Bachelor for for a hot minute, Actually, would you've done it? Yes,

1695
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 1: I said I would. I absolutely would never not like

1696
01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:30,280
Speaker 1: refuse that opportunity. I think I talked to you actually

1697
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:31,760
Speaker 1: about a little bit, because we were talking about like

1698
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:33,000
Speaker 1: money and stuff like that, and I just wanted to

1699
01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:34,920
Speaker 1: make sure I was getting a fair value for whatever

1700
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:40,320
Speaker 1: the role entailed. Um, And when I met with thee

1701
01:15:40,439 --> 01:15:42,040
Speaker 1: I never met with like Flys or any of them,

1702
01:15:42,040 --> 01:15:43,800
Speaker 1: but I met with like a couple of the executives

1703
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:47,080
Speaker 1: for like m z K, the production team that makes

1704
01:15:47,080 --> 01:15:49,960
Speaker 1: The Bachelor, and I obviously met with the executive producers

1705
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:51,320
Speaker 1: of the show like a Lot and Bennett and all

1706
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:52,920
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I'm prettyure this is all fair

1707
01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:54,519
Speaker 1: to share. I don't really see why it wouldn't be.

1708
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,360
Speaker 1: But we were talking and this is a post Bachelor

1709
01:15:57,400 --> 01:16:00,160
Speaker 1: in Paradise filming pre airing, so they knew that things

1710
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:03,280
Speaker 1: weren't gonna go look good for me. Um, But they

1711
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:06,000
Speaker 1: they I think they sense that, like Peter, something wasn't

1712
01:16:06,040 --> 01:16:08,439
Speaker 1: gonna happen with him. W Obviously you in nevatively fell through.

1713
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:12,479
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly why, but um, they were talking

1714
01:16:12,479 --> 01:16:14,479
Speaker 1: to me about it and they were like, yeah, how

1715
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:15,559
Speaker 1: do you feel about this, And I was like, well,

1716
01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:17,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe in the institution of

1717
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:19,479
Speaker 1: marriage as much as I as you need me to.

1718
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:21,920
Speaker 1: I definitely don't believe in the idea of a diamond

1719
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,840
Speaker 1: engagement ring. Um. I don't want my family to be

1720
01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:26,920
Speaker 1: a part of it at all, because I saw how

1721
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:29,439
Speaker 1: you guys like made it a big ordeal and I

1722
01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,800
Speaker 1: know that they would like Dean and Dean's father meet

1723
01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:34,320
Speaker 1: again sort of thing like that would have been a

1724
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:37,920
Speaker 1: central storyline. I didn't want that, um. And I said

1725
01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:39,840
Speaker 1: all these things, like to the executive producers and like

1726
01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:43,280
Speaker 1: the studio heads, and they were like, well, that's not

1727
01:16:43,280 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: really what we want to hear. It just isn't gonna work.

1728
01:16:45,920 --> 01:16:48,360
Speaker 1: You don't like what the concepts about. You're not into

1729
01:16:48,439 --> 01:16:51,519
Speaker 1: the symbolic ring that is makes the show, and you

1730
01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:53,240
Speaker 1: don't we don't. You don't want to be part of

1731
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:56,599
Speaker 1: the main storyline that we want you Yeah, yeah, not cool. Um.

1732
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,400
Speaker 1: But they're still like it's funny because they have a

1733
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:01,800
Speaker 1: good way of making you feel like you're still like

1734
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:03,439
Speaker 1: the guy, you know what I mean. Like they still

1735
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:05,760
Speaker 1: I still after leaving every meeting, I was still like, Wow,

1736
01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:08,400
Speaker 1: that went really well, yeah, you don't doubt it. They

1737
01:17:08,560 --> 01:17:13,600
Speaker 1: they have mastered the art of human They have to

1738
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:18,639
Speaker 1: direct communicate and get people to where they want. And honestly,

1739
01:17:18,680 --> 01:17:21,519
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be the Bachelor, but I

1740
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:24,599
Speaker 1: would never have said note to the opportunity, no you can't.

1741
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:27,880
Speaker 1: And I mean, you know, today, the Bachelor holds very

1742
01:17:27,960 --> 01:17:30,680
Speaker 1: little role in my life. I mean I still get

1743
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:33,600
Speaker 1: asked about it every day and I still do a

1744
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:35,840
Speaker 1: podcast that is about the bat Like, so from the

1745
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:39,040
Speaker 1: outside looking in, it holds a tremendous role in my life.

1746
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:41,479
Speaker 1: For my day to day life, it holds very little. Right.

1747
01:17:41,479 --> 01:17:43,440
Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend that is not at all associated

1748
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:46,000
Speaker 1: with it. She doesn't even know a lot about the show. Um.

1749
01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:49,280
Speaker 1: I live in Denver that with with nobody that's from

1750
01:17:49,280 --> 01:17:51,080
Speaker 1: the Bachelor around me, and I haven't gone to a

1751
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:54,840
Speaker 1: Bachelor event in years, Like they're I'm very disconnected at

1752
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:59,559
Speaker 1: this point. Um, But I don't regret a second of

1753
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:03,559
Speaker 1: it because of the people I've met working on the

1754
01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:07,599
Speaker 1: show and outside of the show. And if I feel

1755
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:10,040
Speaker 1: like and for you too, and tell me if I'm wrong,

1756
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:15,720
Speaker 1: It's helped us live out our our biggest passions. Absolutely,

1757
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,920
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly grateful for the time that I had on

1758
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:20,800
Speaker 1: the show and the things that it's allowed me to

1759
01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:22,720
Speaker 1: be able to do. I remember like being a kid

1760
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:25,000
Speaker 1: when I was in middle school, thinking things like, man,

1761
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:26,960
Speaker 1: one day, I just really want to skydive, or like

1762
01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:28,479
Speaker 1: I want to scoop it, I want to learn how

1763
01:18:28,479 --> 01:18:29,960
Speaker 1: to fly, or I want to travel to Egypt, like

1764
01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:31,840
Speaker 1: all these things that I've always wanted to do since

1765
01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:33,400
Speaker 1: the super young age, but I never had the ability

1766
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:36,040
Speaker 1: to because I was making forty dollars a year, working

1767
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:38,280
Speaker 1: fifty hours a week, living in Los Angeles, spending two

1768
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:40,160
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a month on rent. It's just like there

1769
01:18:40,320 --> 01:18:43,439
Speaker 1: was no way to save money. And the Bachelor in

1770
01:18:43,479 --> 01:18:45,759
Speaker 1: it's some weird like in a way that I initially

1771
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:49,720
Speaker 1: never expected it to gave me, like the time to

1772
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:52,360
Speaker 1: do things I gotta quit my job, the financial freedom

1773
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:54,320
Speaker 1: to do got the places I wanted to go, and

1774
01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:58,920
Speaker 1: like the publicity you're notoriety to. I don't want to

1775
01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:01,360
Speaker 1: say be given things like to be to have doors

1776
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:03,040
Speaker 1: open for you to go places that you never really

1777
01:19:03,080 --> 01:19:04,280
Speaker 1: would expected to be able to go, You know what

1778
01:19:04,320 --> 01:19:06,559
Speaker 1: I mean. I want to take a second here and

1779
01:19:07,120 --> 01:19:10,360
Speaker 1: pause because I'm I'm sensing when we get to this

1780
01:19:10,400 --> 01:19:14,920
Speaker 1: point in the podcast, Um, everything leading up to this,

1781
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:21,240
Speaker 1: this conversation about the Bachelor feels so good and real,

1782
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:24,040
Speaker 1: and then the Bachelor hits and almost like I feel

1783
01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:25,880
Speaker 1: like it's it's a little bit weak, It's a little

1784
01:19:25,880 --> 01:19:27,960
Speaker 1: bit more shallow than what I'd want to do with you.

1785
01:19:28,320 --> 01:19:30,280
Speaker 1: But I think there is this and what we're talking

1786
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:33,080
Speaker 1: about here and like we're saying, is the Bachelor. Let's

1787
01:19:33,160 --> 01:19:36,120
Speaker 1: legitimize a little bit. The Bachelor has played a huge

1788
01:19:36,200 --> 01:19:39,160
Speaker 1: role in your life, like it or not, and it's

1789
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:42,400
Speaker 1: also allowed you to do and be a fuller version

1790
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:45,360
Speaker 1: than of yourself than you ever dreamed of. So it

1791
01:19:45,479 --> 01:19:47,599
Speaker 1: is important for us to talk about The Bachelor because

1792
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:50,679
Speaker 1: these things have helped define you for now how many years?

1793
01:19:50,760 --> 01:19:51,840
Speaker 1: How long has it been since you been on the

1794
01:19:51,840 --> 01:19:53,720
Speaker 1: show and half I think two and a half years

1795
01:19:53,720 --> 01:19:57,080
Speaker 1: of your life in your mid twenties. The Bachelor has

1796
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:59,200
Speaker 1: been a part of it. Leading up to this. After

1797
01:19:59,439 --> 01:20:01,959
Speaker 1: Rachel SE's in The Bachelor, we found you in Bachelor

1798
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:05,519
Speaker 1: in Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise this time, Bachelor in Paradise

1799
01:20:05,520 --> 01:20:08,360
Speaker 1: helped lead to uh, you now having the help I

1800
01:20:08,439 --> 01:20:11,639
Speaker 1: Second Dating Podcast, And I want to know why, Dean,

1801
01:20:11,880 --> 01:20:15,720
Speaker 1: your time on Bachelor Paradise was not great, not the

1802
01:20:15,720 --> 01:20:18,960
Speaker 1: first time around, right, the first time around was hard. Um.

1803
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,160
Speaker 1: There was a lot of things that happened during that

1804
01:20:21,960 --> 01:20:29,599
Speaker 1: that that season, um, that I think affected people's image

1805
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:31,960
Speaker 1: of you. And I don't believe it's at all why

1806
01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:33,880
Speaker 1: they want you on this in depth episode, but I

1807
01:20:33,920 --> 01:20:36,240
Speaker 1: want to. I think people want to know why. And

1808
01:20:36,240 --> 01:20:38,720
Speaker 1: there's a thousand questions I could throughout you, like why

1809
01:20:38,720 --> 01:20:39,840
Speaker 1: did you do it the way you did? And I

1810
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:41,559
Speaker 1: don't think that would that would be fair. I want

1811
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:44,400
Speaker 1: to know what was it about that season in Bachelor

1812
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:46,240
Speaker 1: in Paradise that you look back on and that you

1813
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:49,640
Speaker 1: either regret or that you're proud of, or why did

1814
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:53,000
Speaker 1: it go so wrong? Um? Yeah, I guess we can

1815
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:55,320
Speaker 1: kind of dive into that a little bit. So when

1816
01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:57,840
Speaker 1: you're on the Bachelorrette, obviously you're not working, you're not

1817
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,800
Speaker 1: getting paid, but you still have your bills to pay back. Um.

1818
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:02,600
Speaker 1: And like I said earlier, I was making fort k

1819
01:21:02,960 --> 01:21:05,519
Speaker 1: fort k a year, living in Los Angeles, a lot

1820
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:08,519
Speaker 1: of expenses, not a lot of income. I was flat

1821
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:10,360
Speaker 1: broke by the time I got off Bachelor atte, I

1822
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:13,519
Speaker 1: think I had like a hundred and forty dollars in

1823
01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:15,360
Speaker 1: my bank account and all all of my banking I

1824
01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:17,160
Speaker 1: had us checking in and saving account a hundred four

1825
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:19,240
Speaker 1: dollars across to my name, basically didn't own a car,

1826
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:22,760
Speaker 1: didn't own anything. Um, it's just a weird spot to

1827
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:24,920
Speaker 1: be in, Like you're basically starting at zero. And like

1828
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:26,439
Speaker 1: I said earlier, like I don't have a safety net

1829
01:21:26,479 --> 01:21:28,640
Speaker 1: or anything like that. So it's like if I hit

1830
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:31,400
Speaker 1: zero in my bank account and I am basically on

1831
01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:33,160
Speaker 1: the streets, right, I'm sure I could like find a

1832
01:21:33,160 --> 01:21:35,400
Speaker 1: friend to bring me into their house too, let me

1833
01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:36,880
Speaker 1: like couch sur for a little bit. But I don't

1834
01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:39,360
Speaker 1: want to do that. No one wants to do that. Um.

1835
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:42,960
Speaker 1: And so I was off the show and let's see

1836
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:46,640
Speaker 1: end of May and Paradise. He no, I'm sorry. End

1837
01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:51,200
Speaker 1: of the beginning of May. Paradise began filming end of May,

1838
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,639
Speaker 1: beginning of June. I don't know about those days. There's

1839
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:55,320
Speaker 1: it's something like that. That's off the show for a month,

1840
01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:58,640
Speaker 1: three to four weeks between Bachelorette filming and Bachelor and

1841
01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:02,559
Speaker 1: Paradise filming, and I to make a decision um go

1842
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:06,160
Speaker 1: back to work for three weeks and then leave again

1843
01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:11,960
Speaker 1: to potentially go to Bachelom Paradise or two. I guess

1844
01:22:11,960 --> 01:22:14,280
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what the decision was between. But

1845
01:22:14,439 --> 01:22:15,960
Speaker 1: I had to borrow money for my brother. I borrowed

1846
01:22:15,960 --> 01:22:18,759
Speaker 1: a couple hundred dollars tied me over. But the decision

1847
01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:20,680
Speaker 1: to go to Paradise, and this might sound messed up,

1848
01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:23,599
Speaker 1: it was entirely financial. They were like, we're gonna offer

1849
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:26,439
Speaker 1: you this much money to come onto a TV show

1850
01:22:26,439 --> 01:22:28,519
Speaker 1: where we're gonna feed you, give you drinks, in a

1851
01:22:28,560 --> 01:22:30,640
Speaker 1: place to sleep for however long you're here. And I

1852
01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:32,160
Speaker 1: was like, if I'm on that show for three days,

1853
01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:33,439
Speaker 1: I have more money in my bank acoun than I've

1854
01:22:33,439 --> 01:22:35,320
Speaker 1: ever had in my entire life. Absolutely signed me up,

1855
01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:37,679
Speaker 1: and I remember talking to my friends before I left.

1856
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:40,400
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, like I might make a thousand,

1857
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:42,519
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars on this show and then go, You're

1858
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:44,599
Speaker 1: gonna have two thousand dollars in your bank account. That's crazy?

1859
01:22:44,640 --> 01:22:48,040
Speaker 1: How I know? That's insane. So the motive to go

1860
01:22:48,040 --> 01:22:50,200
Speaker 1: on Bachelom Paradise, and again it might sound messed up,

1861
01:22:50,200 --> 01:22:52,720
Speaker 1: was entirely financial because I needed to find a way

1862
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,720
Speaker 1: to like obviously support myself there after. And this was

1863
01:22:55,760 --> 01:22:58,080
Speaker 1: before Bachelor already even aired, before I had even ever

1864
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:00,360
Speaker 1: known that song as things on Instagram WI the thing,

1865
01:23:01,280 --> 01:23:06,160
Speaker 1: and the I had entirely processed my relationship with Rachel.

1866
01:23:06,160 --> 01:23:09,160
Speaker 1: There was no hindrance going into Bachelo in Paradise that

1867
01:23:09,479 --> 01:23:12,360
Speaker 1: anything that was holding on too from that first yew Bachelorette, right,

1868
01:23:12,920 --> 01:23:14,400
Speaker 1: I just didn't know what was gonna happen again. I

1869
01:23:14,439 --> 01:23:16,920
Speaker 1: thought I would go into Bachelo in Paradise, not kiss

1870
01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:19,400
Speaker 1: a single person, not have anyone interested in me, uh,

1871
01:23:19,400 --> 01:23:21,280
Speaker 1: and then leave after a couple of days exactly how

1872
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:24,639
Speaker 1: I ended up going into Bachelorette and I'll go into

1873
01:23:24,640 --> 01:23:27,559
Speaker 1: Paradise hit it off with Christina. Christina is a beautiful

1874
01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:31,960
Speaker 1: girl at the time, the most like beautiful girl I've

1875
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:33,599
Speaker 1: ever seen in my entire life, you know, like I

1876
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:35,559
Speaker 1: still haven't really had a taste of anything that kind

1877
01:23:35,560 --> 01:23:37,519
Speaker 1: of comes after the fact. So I was like head

1878
01:23:37,520 --> 01:23:39,479
Speaker 1: over heels for this girl solely just because she was

1879
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:41,880
Speaker 1: so pretty. Um and we had both were able to

1880
01:23:41,920 --> 01:23:44,040
Speaker 1: like bond over our traumatic past and like these these

1881
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:46,920
Speaker 1: challenging things that we had to go through as children. Um.

1882
01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:51,800
Speaker 1: And then the shutdown happened, and instead of flying from

1883
01:23:51,880 --> 01:23:53,880
Speaker 1: Mexico to Los Angeles, where I lived at the time,

1884
01:23:54,120 --> 01:23:56,240
Speaker 1: I decided to fly to Los Angeles to Kentucky where

1885
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:58,240
Speaker 1: Christina lived. And I was just like, yeah, I liked

1886
01:23:58,240 --> 01:23:59,720
Speaker 1: this girl. Let's see, I hadn't known her for three

1887
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:01,200
Speaker 1: or four days at the time. Let's se if we

1888
01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:03,799
Speaker 1: can like hang out and see if anything goes anywhere. Um.

1889
01:24:03,880 --> 01:24:06,160
Speaker 1: So we fly back to Kentucky, spend a couple of

1890
01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:08,560
Speaker 1: days there, Like, I'm head over heels, like obsessed with

1891
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:10,519
Speaker 1: this girl. I might calling my best friends. I was like,

1892
01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:12,120
Speaker 1: I met the best girl, like the greatest girl in

1893
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:14,960
Speaker 1: the world. Um, and she was she is She wasn't

1894
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:17,679
Speaker 1: is great, She's a great person. Obviously things fell apart

1895
01:24:17,760 --> 01:24:19,760
Speaker 1: later on, but I remember we then decided to drive

1896
01:24:19,800 --> 01:24:21,920
Speaker 1: to Chicago. From Lexington to Chicago. It's like a six

1897
01:24:21,920 --> 01:24:23,800
Speaker 1: hour drive to meet up with a couple of our

1898
01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:26,040
Speaker 1: friends who lived in Chicago who wanted to go out

1899
01:24:26,080 --> 01:24:28,559
Speaker 1: and party with. So, like, we drove up there, We

1900
01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:30,720
Speaker 1: met up with them, partied a little bit. Things got

1901
01:24:30,760 --> 01:24:32,360
Speaker 1: a little tense between me and Christina, Like we went

1902
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:34,160
Speaker 1: out for the first time to like a club together

1903
01:24:34,479 --> 01:24:36,479
Speaker 1: and we started like it was like our first taste

1904
01:24:36,479 --> 01:24:41,920
Speaker 1: of like our incompatibility whatever. Um, and so I left that.

1905
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:43,760
Speaker 1: We left that to get she had to drive back

1906
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:45,840
Speaker 1: to Lexington, but I flew to Denver to meet up

1907
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:47,360
Speaker 1: with my friend to drive back to like kind of

1908
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:49,800
Speaker 1: a long story, weird story, but even to get from

1909
01:24:49,880 --> 01:24:51,960
Speaker 1: Chicago to Denver, I like had to call my friend Iggy.

1910
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:53,320
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, can I borrow eighty bucks to

1911
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:56,760
Speaker 1: get this flight from Chicago to Denver? Because that's how

1912
01:24:56,760 --> 01:24:59,400
Speaker 1: broke I was. And I think that drove a lot

1913
01:24:59,400 --> 01:25:01,559
Speaker 1: of insecurity in me as well, because it's like it's

1914
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:04,800
Speaker 1: hard to it's hard to consider yourself like a a

1915
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:07,639
Speaker 1: viable partner when you don't really have much money, enough

1916
01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:09,120
Speaker 1: money to support yourself, you know what I mean. So

1917
01:25:09,160 --> 01:25:11,679
Speaker 1: I think that that drove a lot of insecurity through me. Uh.

1918
01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:13,479
Speaker 1: And then on my way back from Denver to Los

1919
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:16,320
Speaker 1: Angeles with my with my buddy, I got the call

1920
01:25:16,840 --> 01:25:19,800
Speaker 1: saying that Bachelor and Paradise were to kick back up

1921
01:25:20,439 --> 01:25:22,640
Speaker 1: and we would like go back and resume filming in

1922
01:25:22,640 --> 01:25:24,599
Speaker 1: a couple of days. And again I was like, great,

1923
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:27,280
Speaker 1: Like I can, I was gonna make like three or three,

1924
01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:28,880
Speaker 1: like two or three thousand dollars, and I can go

1925
01:25:28,880 --> 01:25:32,600
Speaker 1: back and make even more than that, which is fantastic. Um.

1926
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:34,400
Speaker 1: And like, things with Christine and I were going fine,

1927
01:25:34,439 --> 01:25:36,519
Speaker 1: but there was this weird like after that night in Chicago,

1928
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,280
Speaker 1: things didn't really go well and like something just didn't

1929
01:25:39,280 --> 01:25:41,160
Speaker 1: sit right and I just didn't didn't really feel like

1930
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:43,720
Speaker 1: a long term thing. Um. And again I think that

1931
01:25:43,760 --> 01:25:45,360
Speaker 1: it just semmed from a lot of insecurities that I

1932
01:25:45,360 --> 01:25:48,640
Speaker 1: possessed at the time, and like uncertainty of what the

1933
01:25:48,680 --> 01:25:52,600
Speaker 1: future held. So you go back to Paradise, and I

1934
01:25:52,600 --> 01:25:56,080
Speaker 1: guess even before going to Paradise the first time, obviously

1935
01:25:56,080 --> 01:25:57,880
Speaker 1: I told the producers I was like super interested in

1936
01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:01,960
Speaker 1: me Danielle, and they obviously knew that, and they decided

1937
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:05,799
Speaker 1: to send her in. Right after that, the shutdown stopped

1938
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:08,600
Speaker 1: and the show resumed. And this is the girl that

1939
01:26:08,640 --> 01:26:12,200
Speaker 1: I like held so highly in my eyes. I was

1940
01:26:12,240 --> 01:26:13,920
Speaker 1: like super attracted to her. She seemed like a really

1941
01:26:13,960 --> 01:26:15,840
Speaker 1: interesting person. And then obviously we met on the show

1942
01:26:16,360 --> 01:26:19,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this beautiful girl is like

1943
01:26:19,080 --> 01:26:21,040
Speaker 1: super into me in the weirdest way. But she like

1944
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:23,479
Speaker 1: she expressed interest in me, but she still like pulled

1945
01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:26,040
Speaker 1: away a lot. UM, and I like for something like

1946
01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:28,479
Speaker 1: something about the chase, like really like ignited to spark

1947
01:26:28,479 --> 01:26:32,120
Speaker 1: and interest in me. Um. And then meanwhile, Christina obviously

1948
01:26:32,120 --> 01:26:33,640
Speaker 1: and I had this sistery together because we had just

1949
01:26:33,640 --> 01:26:36,479
Speaker 1: spent a couple of days in Kentucky together in Chicago, UM,

1950
01:26:36,600 --> 01:26:38,280
Speaker 1: and we had known each other for like a week

1951
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:41,360
Speaker 1: or a couple of weeks at that point. And I

1952
01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:43,479
Speaker 1: don't know, I think that I think that if I

1953
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,439
Speaker 1: could go back into it differently, I don't know if

1954
01:26:45,479 --> 01:26:47,840
Speaker 1: I would. It's hard to say. Obviously I would, I would,

1955
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:50,479
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I was ready to

1956
01:26:50,479 --> 01:26:51,840
Speaker 1: be in a relationship at the time. I guess, really

1957
01:26:51,880 --> 01:26:53,200
Speaker 1: is what it boils down to. I shouldn't gone a

1958
01:26:53,200 --> 01:26:55,160
Speaker 1: bachelor in Paradise because I didn't want to be in

1959
01:26:55,160 --> 01:26:57,360
Speaker 1: a relationship, like the fact that it was a financial

1960
01:26:57,360 --> 01:26:59,800
Speaker 1: move for me, rather than like I want to find

1961
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:02,120
Speaker 1: some one moved for me. I think really kind of

1962
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:05,599
Speaker 1: with me a lot. Sorry the language, uh, And that's

1963
01:27:05,680 --> 01:27:07,400
Speaker 1: kind of how I've always been in Los Angeles too,

1964
01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:08,920
Speaker 1: Like I would never go on dates with the intent

1965
01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:10,479
Speaker 1: to have a girlfriend, you know, Like before I went

1966
01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:11,920
Speaker 1: on the TV show, I would never go on dates

1967
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:13,519
Speaker 1: to like they're like, oh, I wonder if this girl's

1968
01:27:13,560 --> 01:27:17,360
Speaker 1: like a suitable partner for me, you know what I mean. Um,

1969
01:27:17,439 --> 01:27:19,280
Speaker 1: So I've always kind of sucked at dating in that sense,

1970
01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:21,320
Speaker 1: and then to just go on the show and have

1971
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:24,280
Speaker 1: it like kind of be nationally televised, it was it

1972
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:27,680
Speaker 1: was a long time coming, right, Like even throughout Bachelorette,

1973
01:27:27,680 --> 01:27:29,360
Speaker 1: I would get text from like X's or girls that

1974
01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:32,160
Speaker 1: I went on dates with, uh not girls I want

1975
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:35,200
Speaker 1: to dates with, but like a girl I dated. And

1976
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:38,519
Speaker 1: then even like my ex girlfriend, they're like, Wow, you're

1977
01:27:38,520 --> 01:27:41,160
Speaker 1: getting a lot of positive attention and like that's not

1978
01:27:41,280 --> 01:27:46,760
Speaker 1: really right, um because I just like in a in

1979
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:50,880
Speaker 1: a real world setting, I'm not that's like focused on

1980
01:27:50,880 --> 01:27:52,840
Speaker 1: one person, you know what I mean. And that's and

1981
01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,680
Speaker 1: and is do you believe that is the reason that

1982
01:27:54,680 --> 01:27:56,479
Speaker 1: you suck at dating? Is because it's hard for you

1983
01:27:56,520 --> 01:27:58,640
Speaker 1: to focus on one person. It's hard for me to

1984
01:27:59,720 --> 01:28:01,960
Speaker 1: actually then it's I'm getting better at this, but it's

1985
01:28:01,960 --> 01:28:05,240
Speaker 1: hard for me to. I enjoy the good times obviously,

1986
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:06,559
Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to like want to like

1987
01:28:06,560 --> 01:28:08,360
Speaker 1: stick around through the bad times. Like if you get

1988
01:28:08,400 --> 01:28:09,840
Speaker 1: an argument, I'm all right, well, if we're getting an

1989
01:28:09,880 --> 01:28:11,479
Speaker 1: arguments right now, like, there's no reason to stick around.

1990
01:28:11,479 --> 01:28:12,680
Speaker 1: I don't see the value in it, you know what

1991
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:16,400
Speaker 1: I mean. That's something I'm working on, and I think

1992
01:28:16,439 --> 01:28:19,040
Speaker 1: I've actually gone a lot from both the show, the

1993
01:28:19,080 --> 01:28:21,920
Speaker 1: podcasts and just life in general. Um But at the time,

1994
01:28:21,960 --> 01:28:24,760
Speaker 1: I was like, any any whiff of trouble, I'm out,

1995
01:28:24,840 --> 01:28:26,639
Speaker 1: you know, like there's no point in sticking around and something.

1996
01:28:26,680 --> 01:28:30,599
Speaker 1: It's difficult, what's the point of it? Um? So yeah,

1997
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:34,120
Speaker 1: So it was basically me like Para actually in Paradise

1998
01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:36,080
Speaker 1: was a more accurate representation of who I was at

1999
01:28:36,080 --> 01:28:38,200
Speaker 1: the time than Bachelorrette for me, you know what I mean.

2000
01:28:38,640 --> 01:28:40,040
Speaker 1: And so it was hard, Like I said earlier, it

2001
01:28:40,080 --> 01:28:42,960
Speaker 1: was hard to go from that uh pedestal of like

2002
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:47,360
Speaker 1: very well liked contestant to them like very heavily criticized

2003
01:28:47,400 --> 01:28:50,400
Speaker 1: contestant and rightfully so like I should have been criticized.

2004
01:28:50,439 --> 01:28:53,200
Speaker 1: I think I could have handled things obviously much better.

2005
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:57,759
Speaker 1: Um But but yeah, that was that was a challenging time.

2006
01:28:58,400 --> 01:28:59,519
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of it too, was like

2007
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:01,360
Speaker 1: it was just everything was so new, like I had

2008
01:29:01,360 --> 01:29:04,439
Speaker 1: never really had like an open bar to drink as

2009
01:29:04,520 --> 01:29:06,240
Speaker 1: much as I could possibly drink. I never had this

2010
01:29:06,320 --> 01:29:09,640
Speaker 1: much attention from two women that were just like way

2011
01:29:09,680 --> 01:29:11,400
Speaker 1: too attractive to be talking to me, you know what

2012
01:29:11,479 --> 01:29:13,599
Speaker 1: I mean. Um, And I think I was just kind

2013
01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,160
Speaker 1: of like a weird in a weird like a kid

2014
01:29:15,200 --> 01:29:16,880
Speaker 1: in a candy store. So I just didn't really have it.

2015
01:29:17,439 --> 01:29:21,320
Speaker 1: Like the paradox of choice is just kind of overwhelming me. Um.

2016
01:29:21,360 --> 01:29:23,960
Speaker 1: And yeah, that that whole saga was like pretty taxing

2017
01:29:23,960 --> 01:29:26,960
Speaker 1: on me mentally, um and obviously on the two girls

2018
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,960
Speaker 1: as well. But so even though all this stuff that's

2019
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:32,439
Speaker 1: happening you could watch and say, yeah, this is true,

2020
01:29:32,479 --> 01:29:35,960
Speaker 1: this is happening, this is just my own issues, it

2021
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:38,479
Speaker 1: was still taxing on you mentally. Oh, I was like

2022
01:29:38,520 --> 01:29:45,200
Speaker 1: super depressed throughout the whole process and walks my girlfriend. Um,

2023
01:29:45,560 --> 01:29:47,120
Speaker 1: there was a there was a lot of like depression

2024
01:29:47,120 --> 01:29:48,960
Speaker 1: and anxiety and stress that were going through my head

2025
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:50,479
Speaker 1: with all that all that was airing. But again, it

2026
01:29:50,560 --> 01:29:53,680
Speaker 1: was like it wasn't like unjust like it's not that

2027
01:29:53,720 --> 01:29:56,000
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been receiving that it was it was

2028
01:29:56,040 --> 01:30:01,760
Speaker 1: me because I was just acting uh wrongly. I think

2029
01:30:01,760 --> 01:30:02,800
Speaker 1: a lot of it too, was like I said, I

2030
01:30:02,880 --> 01:30:04,280
Speaker 1: was like, I would get really drunk when I was

2031
01:30:04,280 --> 01:30:06,880
Speaker 1: on the show, and I think, in hindsight, like if

2032
01:30:06,880 --> 01:30:08,360
Speaker 1: I could go back, I would just not drink because

2033
01:30:08,360 --> 01:30:11,679
Speaker 1: I would make a lot more conscious decisions, just better decisions. Um.

2034
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:14,000
Speaker 1: Even now, Like I like, when I was twenty six,

2035
01:30:14,040 --> 01:30:16,040
Speaker 1: I was like partying a lot a lot. Now I

2036
01:30:16,080 --> 01:30:18,160
Speaker 1: don't really go out ever, you know. And we went

2037
01:30:18,200 --> 01:30:19,800
Speaker 1: to the party the other day and I was like

2038
01:30:19,840 --> 01:30:23,240
Speaker 1: the first time we got really party together Kalen and I. Um,

2039
01:30:23,320 --> 01:30:25,479
Speaker 1: and four or five months of dating, which I think

2040
01:30:25,560 --> 01:30:28,800
Speaker 1: is great, but well, like watching that stuff back, I

2041
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:31,479
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, yes, this is me who

2042
01:30:31,560 --> 01:30:33,559
Speaker 1: I This is like who I am now in this

2043
01:30:33,600 --> 01:30:36,240
Speaker 1: moment of life or whatever in this in this snapshot

2044
01:30:36,240 --> 01:30:39,120
Speaker 1: of life. And it's just like it wasn't very obviously

2045
01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:43,080
Speaker 1: the best version of myself, you know. That's That's one

2046
01:30:43,120 --> 01:30:45,360
Speaker 1: thing that I don't think we've seen out of you

2047
01:30:45,920 --> 01:30:50,040
Speaker 1: through television, is you upset. And I think that's the

2048
01:30:50,120 --> 01:30:53,080
Speaker 1: one thing that people probably like I want to ring

2049
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:55,360
Speaker 1: your next sometimes and be like you're you aren't showing

2050
01:30:55,680 --> 01:30:59,719
Speaker 1: any emotion here. Um, There's been moments, but it's quickly

2051
01:31:00,520 --> 01:31:03,000
Speaker 1: moved on. From and I think to hear that this

2052
01:31:03,120 --> 01:31:06,360
Speaker 1: really hurt you or affected you or allowed you to

2053
01:31:06,439 --> 01:31:09,800
Speaker 1: look inward, I think, I don't know, there's a there's

2054
01:31:09,800 --> 01:31:15,479
Speaker 1: a it's it encourages me as a friend maybe, but

2055
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:17,880
Speaker 1: also it hurts because I know that it was just

2056
01:31:18,120 --> 01:31:21,559
Speaker 1: I mean, that season of life is so confusing because

2057
01:31:21,560 --> 01:31:23,639
Speaker 1: there's a thousand things coming at you. You're dating people

2058
01:31:23,640 --> 01:31:26,040
Speaker 1: that you never imagine that you'd be dating in your life, right,

2059
01:31:26,680 --> 01:31:29,599
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're batting way out of your league

2060
01:31:29,600 --> 01:31:31,560
Speaker 1: every time you talk to a woman in Paradise or

2061
01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:34,840
Speaker 1: on the show, and then when it comes back and

2062
01:31:34,880 --> 01:31:37,680
Speaker 1: it feels like you're alone in it and everybody's criticizing

2063
01:31:37,720 --> 01:31:42,720
Speaker 1: you it, it does get depressing. And and to know

2064
01:31:42,800 --> 01:31:45,360
Speaker 1: that that's how it affected you opens my eyes to

2065
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:48,760
Speaker 1: something I've never seen. Yeah, it's it's hard to kind

2066
01:31:48,760 --> 01:31:50,599
Speaker 1: of put myself back in that situation too, because there's

2067
01:31:50,680 --> 01:31:54,280
Speaker 1: so it was challenging. And I think that the people

2068
01:31:54,280 --> 01:31:56,600
Speaker 1: that I was surrounded by, like the people from the

2069
01:31:56,640 --> 01:31:59,880
Speaker 1: show specifically, I had I hadn't really had the chance

2070
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:01,519
Speaker 1: get to know a lot of people from the show,

2071
01:32:01,880 --> 01:32:03,479
Speaker 1: like Super Well, like I've gotten to know you over

2072
01:32:03,479 --> 01:32:09,080
Speaker 1: the past two and a half years. Um, I don't.

2073
01:32:09,120 --> 01:32:10,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't really know how to say this,

2074
01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:16,120
Speaker 1: but like, I like because I continue to date Christina

2075
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:18,680
Speaker 1: after Bachelor in Paradise, Right, I did a deal for

2076
01:32:18,720 --> 01:32:21,760
Speaker 1: like a short amount of time after the Paradise um,

2077
01:32:21,800 --> 01:32:23,439
Speaker 1: but then I called that off because I still have

2078
01:32:23,520 --> 01:32:25,760
Speaker 1: feelings for Christina. The reason I called Christina off the

2079
01:32:25,800 --> 01:32:28,479
Speaker 1: first time was because I like didn't like a lot

2080
01:32:28,520 --> 01:32:30,759
Speaker 1: of the things that I had heard from other people.

2081
01:32:30,800 --> 01:32:32,559
Speaker 1: But then I realized that I shouldn't be upset by

2082
01:32:32,560 --> 01:32:36,680
Speaker 1: those things, and so, um, it was just like this

2083
01:32:36,760 --> 01:32:39,320
Speaker 1: weird bit of confusion that I was constantly but throughout

2084
01:32:39,360 --> 01:32:43,040
Speaker 1: Paradise airing. And I don't want to like put Christine

2085
01:32:43,080 --> 01:32:45,160
Speaker 1: on the spot or anything like this, but like there

2086
01:32:45,240 --> 01:32:47,600
Speaker 1: was just no support from this person that I was

2087
01:32:47,640 --> 01:32:50,840
Speaker 1: like trying to invest into and like supposedly cared about me.

2088
01:32:51,160 --> 01:32:53,320
Speaker 1: There was no support from her at any moment throughout

2089
01:32:53,320 --> 01:32:57,920
Speaker 1: those times, maybe like maybe glimpses and very privately, but publicly,

2090
01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:00,479
Speaker 1: she was like very critical of me because I don't

2091
01:33:00,520 --> 01:33:04,880
Speaker 1: know exactly why she wanted to play that role I suppose, um,

2092
01:33:04,920 --> 01:33:07,000
Speaker 1: and that really took a big toll on me, as well,

2093
01:33:07,000 --> 01:33:09,280
Speaker 1: where I was like going through this really challenging time

2094
01:33:09,720 --> 01:33:14,000
Speaker 1: publicly and and and and openly, but then I wasn't

2095
01:33:14,040 --> 01:33:15,680
Speaker 1: really receiving much support on the back end or like

2096
01:33:15,720 --> 01:33:18,439
Speaker 1: the behind closed doors. Um, And so that was like

2097
01:33:18,479 --> 01:33:21,040
Speaker 1: a super I don't know, it was just a really

2098
01:33:21,120 --> 01:33:22,639
Speaker 1: weird time in my life where I like I thought

2099
01:33:22,680 --> 01:33:26,200
Speaker 1: that things were supposed to be this way with this person,

2100
01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:29,440
Speaker 1: and like I was like trying to convince myself consistently

2101
01:33:29,439 --> 01:33:32,160
Speaker 1: that like what was happening was normal and it was okay,

2102
01:33:32,200 --> 01:33:33,960
Speaker 1: and it was like easy to look past. But then

2103
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:36,840
Speaker 1: like the longer, like the more time we're on, I

2104
01:33:36,880 --> 01:33:39,000
Speaker 1: just began to realize that wasn't normal and it wasn't

2105
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:43,280
Speaker 1: like right, it wasn't okay right. So it leads you

2106
01:33:43,320 --> 01:33:44,920
Speaker 1: to where you're at now. We we had a stint

2107
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:47,760
Speaker 1: on Bachelor Winter Games. Um, you did walk away from

2108
01:33:47,760 --> 01:33:51,000
Speaker 1: Bachelor with Games in a relationship with Leslie we publicly

2109
01:33:51,360 --> 01:33:53,559
Speaker 1: Actually I was able to be with you and Hunters

2110
01:33:54,080 --> 01:33:57,960
Speaker 1: um at one point. Um, that's ended, and it leads

2111
01:33:57,960 --> 01:34:01,320
Speaker 1: you up to this paradise this season, um, which was

2112
01:34:01,560 --> 01:34:06,840
Speaker 1: another shocking twist for Dean Angler. Um. But here's where,

2113
01:34:07,880 --> 01:34:09,719
Speaker 1: here's where I want to sit at for one second.

2114
01:34:09,880 --> 01:34:12,600
Speaker 1: Is all these things that we've talked about leading up

2115
01:34:12,600 --> 01:34:15,720
Speaker 1: to this point have helped me understand you better as

2116
01:34:15,720 --> 01:34:19,200
Speaker 1: a friend, and this season on Paradise helped me understand

2117
01:34:19,240 --> 01:34:21,600
Speaker 1: you better because yes, from a viewer's perspective, it was

2118
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:25,880
Speaker 1: entertaining you going down there. Uh, your relationship with Kalen,

2119
01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:30,000
Speaker 1: you leaving the pain that that cause, and going Dean,

2120
01:34:30,120 --> 01:34:33,960
Speaker 1: You've done it again. Bring on the criticism, Bring on

2121
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:40,040
Speaker 1: the critics. The charming man is deceitful, because charm is deceitful.

2122
01:34:40,160 --> 01:34:43,720
Speaker 1: But the man I knew was missing there and you

2123
01:34:43,840 --> 01:34:50,640
Speaker 1: came back and you're dating here today. Um, through the

2124
01:34:50,720 --> 01:34:52,120
Speaker 1: years and years that you've been on the show and

2125
01:34:52,160 --> 01:34:53,920
Speaker 1: now your second time on Paradise in a time and

2126
01:34:53,960 --> 01:34:56,479
Speaker 1: winter game and you're time about Sorry, why did you

2127
01:34:56,520 --> 01:35:02,479
Speaker 1: want to come back for calin? Uh? Why did I

2128
01:35:02,520 --> 01:35:05,120
Speaker 1: want to come back? What did you learn through those

2129
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:08,880
Speaker 1: things about the relationships that have failed, the people that

2130
01:35:08,920 --> 01:35:11,120
Speaker 1: you've lost contact with them? Assuming at this point Christina

2131
01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,479
Speaker 1: and Daniel are no longer a part of your life, Rachel,

2132
01:35:14,520 --> 01:35:16,880
Speaker 1: isn't we've clarified, is not really a part of your life?

2133
01:35:17,600 --> 01:35:20,719
Speaker 1: What is it about these relationships publicly that you've dated

2134
01:35:20,760 --> 01:35:23,639
Speaker 1: within that's allowed you to lead learn enough about who

2135
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:25,320
Speaker 1: you're looking for, what you're looking for, and what you

2136
01:35:25,360 --> 01:35:28,360
Speaker 1: wanted to say. I'm gonna take the risk. It's not

2137
01:35:28,400 --> 01:35:29,840
Speaker 1: gonna be easy. I'm gonna fly all the way back

2138
01:35:29,840 --> 01:35:32,559
Speaker 1: down to Mexico to pick a girl up off a

2139
01:35:32,600 --> 01:35:36,760
Speaker 1: beach because I need to know something more about her. Yeah,

2140
01:35:36,760 --> 01:35:39,040
Speaker 1: that was an interesting time, um to start, kind of

2141
01:35:39,040 --> 01:35:40,840
Speaker 1: from the beginning of going to Batch. I think I

2142
01:35:40,840 --> 01:35:43,280
Speaker 1: got the call for this Bachelor in Paradise around February.

2143
01:35:43,320 --> 01:35:45,320
Speaker 1: I was in Japan with my friend. They called me,

2144
01:35:45,800 --> 01:35:47,080
Speaker 1: and at the time I was like, absolutely not. I

2145
01:35:47,120 --> 01:35:48,720
Speaker 1: don't want to be in a relationship right now. Like

2146
01:35:48,760 --> 01:35:51,720
Speaker 1: I've got these plans to move into a van and

2147
01:35:51,760 --> 01:35:55,719
Speaker 1: focus on myself and like explore every avenue of interest

2148
01:35:55,760 --> 01:35:57,920
Speaker 1: that I could possibly have, So like, Paradise not gonna

2149
01:35:57,920 --> 01:36:00,160
Speaker 1: happen unless you, like pay me more money, you know.

2150
01:36:00,240 --> 01:36:03,120
Speaker 1: I literally said, I found out the most money that

2151
01:36:03,120 --> 01:36:05,240
Speaker 1: anyone's ever made on the show, and I requested one

2152
01:36:05,280 --> 01:36:07,800
Speaker 1: dollar more than that person made. I said, I'm not

2153
01:36:07,840 --> 01:36:09,680
Speaker 1: doing it for a dollar less than this number. You

2154
01:36:09,800 --> 01:36:15,720
Speaker 1: are a nurse. And eventually it came like I got

2155
01:36:15,760 --> 01:36:18,000
Speaker 1: laughed at and hung up on. Basically, they called me

2156
01:36:18,000 --> 01:36:19,679
Speaker 1: back a couple of months, a month or two later

2157
01:36:19,760 --> 01:36:21,880
Speaker 1: and they're like, Okay, have you reconsidered. I go, yes,

2158
01:36:21,920 --> 01:36:24,080
Speaker 1: I'll do it for this much money, still an exorbitant,

2159
01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:28,240
Speaker 1: ridiculous amount that is just never gonna be approved. Hung

2160
01:36:28,320 --> 01:36:30,600
Speaker 1: up on me again. And then eventually I was like

2161
01:36:30,600 --> 01:36:32,200
Speaker 1: talking to my friends about it, and they're like, you know,

2162
01:36:32,360 --> 01:36:33,760
Speaker 1: like whatever I think. I was talking to Nick about it,

2163
01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:35,600
Speaker 1: actually he goes, what do you have to lose? Like,

2164
01:36:35,640 --> 01:36:37,120
Speaker 1: you're not You're not like going to miss out or

2165
01:36:37,160 --> 01:36:39,240
Speaker 1: anything by going down to the beach. It's it would

2166
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,760
Speaker 1: be another fun experience, just like you know yourself better,

2167
01:36:41,800 --> 01:36:44,559
Speaker 1: behavirself better this time too. So like, yeah, I guess

2168
01:36:44,560 --> 01:36:47,479
Speaker 1: I'll give it a go. We'll see what happens. Um.

2169
01:36:47,520 --> 01:36:49,559
Speaker 1: I had grown out like my facial like my goute

2170
01:36:50,200 --> 01:36:53,120
Speaker 1: a lot randomly, and I like walked the carpet with

2171
01:36:53,200 --> 01:36:55,840
Speaker 1: Wells and I saw how disgusting my chin hair looked,

2172
01:36:56,160 --> 01:36:57,479
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I'm gonna shave off

2173
01:36:57,479 --> 01:37:00,000
Speaker 1: this little under part of my goutique. Keep the must

2174
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:03,559
Speaker 1: dash um. And then I got to Mexico and I

2175
01:37:03,560 --> 01:37:05,080
Speaker 1: still have the mustache for the more or less, and

2176
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:06,160
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna keep

2177
01:37:06,160 --> 01:37:10,599
Speaker 1: this mustache. Walked down unto the beach, um, and let's

2178
01:37:10,920 --> 01:37:12,839
Speaker 1: and it's also the confidence that we talked about earlier.

2179
01:37:14,680 --> 01:37:19,160
Speaker 1: Yeah I suppose Okay, yeah, no, you're right. I don't know.

2180
01:37:19,200 --> 01:37:21,040
Speaker 1: It's it's hard to It's easy to like paint a

2181
01:37:21,080 --> 01:37:22,599
Speaker 1: picture of what you expect to happen, but then when

2182
01:37:22,600 --> 01:37:24,080
Speaker 1: you get down there, it's like, obviously, never really gonna

2183
01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:26,920
Speaker 1: happen how you expected to. Um. I thought I was

2184
01:37:26,920 --> 01:37:28,200
Speaker 1: gonna be a gimmick, you know. I thought I was

2185
01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:30,240
Speaker 1: gonna walk down to the beach and be like, oh,

2186
01:37:30,280 --> 01:37:32,840
Speaker 1: here's Dean back for the fourth time. Like he's gonna

2187
01:37:33,040 --> 01:37:35,120
Speaker 1: hang out for a couple of days, maybe like kiss someone,

2188
01:37:35,120 --> 01:37:37,000
Speaker 1: and then probably go home because he's not taking it seriously.

2189
01:37:37,680 --> 01:37:41,920
Speaker 1: Uh So I walked down and see a lot of

2190
01:37:41,920 --> 01:37:43,839
Speaker 1: people I don't know, but I see it like obviously

2191
01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:46,800
Speaker 1: Christina Blake and Derek, who I am friends with for

2192
01:37:46,840 --> 01:37:50,320
Speaker 1: the most part, all of them. Um, and then I

2193
01:37:50,400 --> 01:37:52,840
Speaker 1: was like, oh, it's like it's weird being back here.

2194
01:37:53,080 --> 01:37:55,679
Speaker 1: I made a conscious decision to stay sober the whole

2195
01:37:55,720 --> 01:37:57,679
Speaker 1: time too, just because that's kind of been a downfall

2196
01:37:57,720 --> 01:38:03,600
Speaker 1: of mine through season's past, and it was if you

2197
01:38:03,680 --> 01:38:06,320
Speaker 1: ever think about going on the show, do not drink alcohol,

2198
01:38:06,560 --> 01:38:08,360
Speaker 1: just like you have like a glass of wine maybe

2199
01:38:08,360 --> 01:38:10,240
Speaker 1: every once in a while, But like the first couple

2200
01:38:10,240 --> 01:38:12,679
Speaker 1: of seasons, I was getting like black out drunk almost

2201
01:38:12,680 --> 01:38:15,120
Speaker 1: every episode. They're almost every day, I mean, because I

2202
01:38:15,160 --> 01:38:16,720
Speaker 1: just like it. There was nothing really else to do,

2203
01:38:16,760 --> 01:38:18,719
Speaker 1: and I didn't really have much else to do other

2204
01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:21,680
Speaker 1: than that. This time, I didn't drink, and it was

2205
01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:24,200
Speaker 1: the best experience out of all of them by a

2206
01:38:24,280 --> 01:38:27,400
Speaker 1: landslide um. And obviously Caylin and I go on that

2207
01:38:27,400 --> 01:38:28,840
Speaker 1: first date, and Caylin and I have a bit of

2208
01:38:28,840 --> 01:38:31,040
Speaker 1: a history, right, like she d MS me before she

2209
01:38:31,080 --> 01:38:34,080
Speaker 1: even went on the Bachelor, uh, and so like I

2210
01:38:34,120 --> 01:38:36,360
Speaker 1: knew that there's interest there. I like randomly saw her

2211
01:38:36,360 --> 01:38:38,559
Speaker 1: do an interview before I even went down to Paradise

2212
01:38:38,560 --> 01:38:41,280
Speaker 1: of her saying like, oh, Dean so attractive, and I

2213
01:38:41,320 --> 01:38:44,120
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, this girl really like likes me weirdly, um,

2214
01:38:44,120 --> 01:38:46,880
Speaker 1: which in hindsight like it's I don't know, I really

2215
01:38:46,880 --> 01:38:49,040
Speaker 1: appreciate the fact that she reached out to me before

2216
01:38:49,080 --> 01:38:52,280
Speaker 1: even going on The Bachelor, uh, because like I think

2217
01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:53,960
Speaker 1: that there's a lot of insecurity that's driven from the

2218
01:38:53,960 --> 01:38:55,720
Speaker 1: fact that, like, sometimes you feel like people are just

2219
01:38:55,800 --> 01:39:00,479
Speaker 1: using you for whatever reason, and um, I don't know. Anyways,

2220
01:39:00,560 --> 01:39:03,559
Speaker 1: we're going a date goes well, chemistry is there. I

2221
01:39:03,600 --> 01:39:05,200
Speaker 1: didn't expect to like this girl. I thought that we

2222
01:39:05,200 --> 01:39:06,599
Speaker 1: were just going to go on a date and be like, yeah,

2223
01:39:06,640 --> 01:39:08,439
Speaker 1: you know whatever, this girl sucks. It turns out like

2224
01:39:08,439 --> 01:39:11,840
Speaker 1: I actually do really like her, and time kind of

2225
01:39:11,880 --> 01:39:14,200
Speaker 1: starts to continue to go on, and I like I

2226
01:39:14,200 --> 01:39:15,960
Speaker 1: started liking her, but I was like so convinced in

2227
01:39:16,000 --> 01:39:18,040
Speaker 1: myself that I was not going to leave that beach

2228
01:39:18,080 --> 01:39:20,800
Speaker 1: in a relationship, and the producers all knew that too,

2229
01:39:20,800 --> 01:39:22,160
Speaker 1: and Caylin even knew that too. I told her every

2230
01:39:22,160 --> 01:39:23,280
Speaker 1: single day. I was like, look, I'm not gonna I'm

2231
01:39:23,280 --> 01:39:24,479
Speaker 1: gonna break up with you in the last day of

2232
01:39:24,479 --> 01:39:27,280
Speaker 1: the Passion in Paradise, like just understand that. And she

2233
01:39:27,600 --> 01:39:30,280
Speaker 1: I think she like said that she understood it, but

2234
01:39:30,320 --> 01:39:32,080
Speaker 1: I think she kind of thought that I was like

2235
01:39:32,120 --> 01:39:36,479
Speaker 1: just joking around. Obviously I wasn't um And eventually one

2236
01:39:36,560 --> 01:39:38,920
Speaker 1: night the producers were like, look, man, like you're not

2237
01:39:38,920 --> 01:39:42,040
Speaker 1: taking this seriously, you know you're gonna leave. Uh. Caylin's

2238
01:39:42,040 --> 01:39:44,120
Speaker 1: expressed interest in this other guy who's probably gonna come

2239
01:39:44,160 --> 01:39:46,120
Speaker 1: down in the next couple of days, like it would

2240
01:39:46,120 --> 01:39:47,439
Speaker 1: probably be smart of you to get out of here

2241
01:39:47,479 --> 01:39:49,200
Speaker 1: now so she can explore that relationship. And I was like,

2242
01:39:49,200 --> 01:39:50,240
Speaker 1: you know what, that makes a lot of sense. And

2243
01:39:50,240 --> 01:39:53,200
Speaker 1: I agree with it because I was like, again, still

2244
01:39:53,240 --> 01:39:57,120
Speaker 1: convinced that I wasn't gonna leave in a relationship. And

2245
01:39:57,200 --> 01:40:01,760
Speaker 1: so I leave. I I back to San Diego, where

2246
01:40:01,760 --> 01:40:05,719
Speaker 1: my van was, and I drive out to Horseshoe Bend

2247
01:40:05,760 --> 01:40:08,559
Speaker 1: and think about things. And when I landed actually in

2248
01:40:08,600 --> 01:40:10,920
Speaker 1: San Diego, I like even I texted my producer friend

2249
01:40:10,920 --> 01:40:12,400
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, man, I'm like, really sad,

2250
01:40:12,400 --> 01:40:14,240
Speaker 1: I think I might have made the wrong choice. And

2251
01:40:14,280 --> 01:40:15,840
Speaker 1: he was like, just think about it, like dwell on

2252
01:40:15,880 --> 01:40:18,639
Speaker 1: it for a little bit. Process it. Uh. He's something

2253
01:40:18,680 --> 01:40:21,040
Speaker 1: like a full on list of things like coping ideas

2254
01:40:21,080 --> 01:40:24,080
Speaker 1: of like go here, think about this, like do this,

2255
01:40:24,439 --> 01:40:26,840
Speaker 1: eat this, like things just like the kind of like

2256
01:40:27,479 --> 01:40:29,679
Speaker 1: put my mind at ease a and be like allows

2257
01:40:29,760 --> 01:40:33,600
Speaker 1: a lots of introspection. H And he's like and I

2258
01:40:33,640 --> 01:40:34,840
Speaker 1: was like, look, man, like come sad, I think I

2259
01:40:34,880 --> 01:40:37,200
Speaker 1: made the wrong decision. He goes, well, hey, listen obviously

2260
01:40:37,280 --> 01:40:39,320
Speaker 1: for for ratings wise, we would love to have you

2261
01:40:39,320 --> 01:40:41,360
Speaker 1: come back on the show. It's up to you, obviously

2262
01:40:41,360 --> 01:40:42,240
Speaker 1: at the end of the day if you want to

2263
01:40:42,280 --> 01:40:44,080
Speaker 1: come back on or not take the night to sleep

2264
01:40:44,120 --> 01:40:45,840
Speaker 1: on it. Text me in the morning if you want

2265
01:40:45,840 --> 01:40:47,599
Speaker 1: to come back. We'll book you a planet to get

2266
01:40:47,600 --> 01:40:50,960
Speaker 1: and we'll foll you back down. Ah. So I drive

2267
01:40:50,960 --> 01:40:52,840
Speaker 1: out to hors you Bend, stay there for a couple

2268
01:40:52,840 --> 01:40:54,559
Speaker 1: of hours, drive down to Phoenix, book a flight from

2269
01:40:54,600 --> 01:40:58,120
Speaker 1: Phoenix to Los Angeles, wake up the next day, and uh,

2270
01:40:58,880 --> 01:41:02,160
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what I miss? Hanging around

2271
01:41:02,160 --> 01:41:04,120
Speaker 1: this person that I spent the past eight days basically

2272
01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:07,400
Speaker 1: attached at the hip. I don't know if you remember

2273
01:41:07,560 --> 01:41:10,559
Speaker 1: Bachelor and Paradise that in its entirety, but this girl

2274
01:41:10,600 --> 01:41:12,160
Speaker 1: was like a piece of velcrow to me. She was

2275
01:41:12,160 --> 01:41:17,559
Speaker 1: stuck on me. Uh, like Elmer Fudd's strongest gripping glue. Yeah,

2276
01:41:17,680 --> 01:41:21,040
Speaker 1: she wouldn't leave you, She wouldn't leave me alone. Obsessed.

2277
01:41:21,240 --> 01:41:23,799
Speaker 1: They say, yes, they absolutely do say that, and it's accurate.

2278
01:41:23,840 --> 01:41:26,800
Speaker 1: It's accurate. Um, it was hard to go from that

2279
01:41:27,000 --> 01:41:29,080
Speaker 1: eight days, twenty four hours a day to being around

2280
01:41:29,120 --> 01:41:31,840
Speaker 1: this person who I like, actually genuinely enjoyed hanging Like

2281
01:41:31,840 --> 01:41:34,479
Speaker 1: it wasn't this weird, like me convincing myself that I

2282
01:41:34,520 --> 01:41:36,040
Speaker 1: enjoyed spending time with this person. It was like I

2283
01:41:36,040 --> 01:41:38,360
Speaker 1: actually genuinely like enjoyed it. And there wasn't really like

2284
01:41:38,400 --> 01:41:41,240
Speaker 1: many lapses in conversation, and when there was, it felt natural.

2285
01:41:41,280 --> 01:41:44,960
Speaker 1: It felt normal, you know. Um. And then I left

2286
01:41:45,120 --> 01:41:48,040
Speaker 1: and I I got to thinking. I was like, well,

2287
01:41:48,080 --> 01:41:51,200
Speaker 1: I could wait until Bachelor Paradise has done filming and

2288
01:41:51,240 --> 01:41:54,000
Speaker 1: like just text her and like ask her if she

2289
01:41:54,040 --> 01:41:55,679
Speaker 1: has the time to talk to me, and like see

2290
01:41:55,680 --> 01:41:57,840
Speaker 1: if we can figure this out off camera. Like there's

2291
01:41:57,880 --> 01:42:00,519
Speaker 1: less risk that way because I'm not putting myself out

2292
01:42:00,520 --> 01:42:03,880
Speaker 1: there so publicly again. But also I knew that she

2293
01:42:03,880 --> 01:42:05,760
Speaker 1: would really liked Connor and she was really interested in

2294
01:42:05,760 --> 01:42:07,960
Speaker 1: meeting him. So I was like, well, like the more

2295
01:42:08,000 --> 01:42:09,320
Speaker 1: I duelled on it and actually called the cup of

2296
01:42:09,320 --> 01:42:11,240
Speaker 1: my friends, I was like, what should I do? None

2297
01:42:11,240 --> 01:42:13,200
Speaker 1: of them were supportive of me going back, by the way,

2298
01:42:13,320 --> 01:42:16,880
Speaker 1: but I knew that like if I had if I

2299
01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:19,080
Speaker 1: didn't go back, she would have left the beach more

2300
01:42:19,160 --> 01:42:21,720
Speaker 1: more likely than not in a relationship with Connor, and

2301
01:42:21,720 --> 01:42:24,920
Speaker 1: then I would be infringing upon that relationship at the time,

2302
01:42:25,040 --> 01:42:27,080
Speaker 1: and it would eventually become public when they left the

2303
01:42:27,080 --> 01:42:29,559
Speaker 1: beach together when the show aired. So I was like,

2304
01:42:30,160 --> 01:42:32,599
Speaker 1: this girl is great, She's gonna get swooped up sooner

2305
01:42:32,680 --> 01:42:34,800
Speaker 1: rather than later. If I don't go back now, I'm

2306
01:42:34,800 --> 01:42:37,200
Speaker 1: probably never gonna have a chance to see if this

2307
01:42:37,240 --> 01:42:40,080
Speaker 1: would like actually work out. Um, So I fly back,

2308
01:42:40,360 --> 01:42:42,880
Speaker 1: walked down to the beach, and yeah, obviously things went

2309
01:42:43,600 --> 01:42:46,960
Speaker 1: well for me. But that whole decision process, it wasn't easy. Man.

2310
01:42:47,000 --> 01:42:49,680
Speaker 1: Like I talked to uh like Alex and Mike, some

2311
01:42:49,720 --> 01:42:50,920
Speaker 1: of my best friends, and then I came into the

2312
01:42:50,920 --> 01:42:52,840
Speaker 1: studio and recorded a podcast like to Jared, and Jared

2313
01:42:52,880 --> 01:42:54,320
Speaker 1: was actually one of the few that was like super

2314
01:42:54,320 --> 01:42:59,200
Speaker 1: supportive of the idea and I'm glad I did it.

2315
01:42:59,720 --> 01:43:02,479
Speaker 1: It was uh yeah, I don't know. It wasn't easy,

2316
01:43:02,520 --> 01:43:04,519
Speaker 1: even like walking back down onto that beach that second time,

2317
01:43:04,880 --> 01:43:06,360
Speaker 1: I was like I almost like turned around a couple

2318
01:43:06,400 --> 01:43:08,559
Speaker 1: of times. I almost like told the producers. I was like, look,

2319
01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:09,840
Speaker 1: you know what, actually, on second thought, this is a

2320
01:43:09,840 --> 01:43:13,880
Speaker 1: bad idea, Like let's let's not do this. Um but yeah,

2321
01:43:13,960 --> 01:43:16,639
Speaker 1: and and you know, kind of to bring everything full circle,

2322
01:43:16,680 --> 01:43:18,679
Speaker 1: like I'm sick of I'm sick of like running away

2323
01:43:18,680 --> 01:43:20,000
Speaker 1: from all the problems in my life, like all the

2324
01:43:20,000 --> 01:43:21,439
Speaker 1: bad things that happened to me. All I do is

2325
01:43:21,439 --> 01:43:23,920
Speaker 1: like basically either run away from them, uh physically or

2326
01:43:24,200 --> 01:43:27,360
Speaker 1: or figuratively in so many ways. And even like living

2327
01:43:27,360 --> 01:43:28,680
Speaker 1: in a van you could look at is like me

2328
01:43:28,920 --> 01:43:31,920
Speaker 1: literally physically running away from everything that's important to me

2329
01:43:32,040 --> 01:43:34,400
Speaker 1: or has value in my life. Um So coming back

2330
01:43:34,400 --> 01:43:36,640
Speaker 1: down to the beach was kind of like a symbolic

2331
01:43:37,800 --> 01:43:39,559
Speaker 1: version of me saying like, look, I'm gonna stop running

2332
01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:42,960
Speaker 1: away from these things. I'm gonna stop like running away

2333
01:43:43,000 --> 01:43:44,519
Speaker 1: from the good things in my life and figure out

2334
01:43:44,560 --> 01:43:47,599
Speaker 1: exactly what I want to do and where I'm gonna go.

2335
01:43:47,760 --> 01:43:49,559
Speaker 1: And I want you to be part of that with me.

2336
01:43:50,400 --> 01:43:53,880
Speaker 1: And I'm grateful I did. I don't think that she's

2337
01:43:53,920 --> 01:43:57,920
Speaker 1: upset that she did either. But it wasn't easy. What

2338
01:43:57,960 --> 01:44:02,080
Speaker 1: was it about, Klin? There's there's something I've caught on

2339
01:44:02,200 --> 01:44:03,720
Speaker 1: here and I want to tell you, tell me. I

2340
01:44:03,720 --> 01:44:06,120
Speaker 1: want you to tell me if I'm wrong. Every other

2341
01:44:06,120 --> 01:44:09,280
Speaker 1: person you've dated in the Bachelor franchise. You've explained the

2342
01:44:09,320 --> 01:44:12,320
Speaker 1: very first thing is a bit a physical compliment. Klin

2343
01:44:12,400 --> 01:44:15,720
Speaker 1: is obviously gorgeous. It's not a secret to anybody. But

2344
01:44:15,800 --> 01:44:18,639
Speaker 1: with Klin, your very first comment to her about her

2345
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:22,280
Speaker 1: is about who she is as a person. Do you

2346
01:44:22,320 --> 01:44:26,760
Speaker 1: feel that change in yourself? Um, what I've experienced in

2347
01:44:26,800 --> 01:44:29,559
Speaker 1: relationships is obviously, I think the first thing that brings

2348
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:31,240
Speaker 1: us to like want to talk to someone is a

2349
01:44:31,280 --> 01:44:32,960
Speaker 1: physical attraction, or like you see someone at a bar,

2350
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:36,240
Speaker 1: like even you with Jess Jes caught your eye on Instagram, right,

2351
01:44:36,240 --> 01:44:37,400
Speaker 1: so you just go out of your way to try

2352
01:44:37,439 --> 01:44:39,040
Speaker 1: to try and find it, get to know her deeper.

2353
01:44:39,960 --> 01:44:41,639
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a bad thing to be physically

2354
01:44:41,640 --> 01:44:44,640
Speaker 1: attracted this someone off the bat. Um. I think my

2355
01:44:44,960 --> 01:44:47,200
Speaker 1: kind of like Achilles heal and relationships is I kind

2356
01:44:47,240 --> 01:44:52,040
Speaker 1: of let that override my other um I guess way

2357
01:44:52,040 --> 01:44:55,000
Speaker 1: of thinking, and what I've like slowly began to realize

2358
01:44:55,000 --> 01:44:57,760
Speaker 1: it is like I'm I'm this is gonna sound kind

2359
01:44:57,760 --> 01:45:01,040
Speaker 1: of silly and maybe a little melodramatic. I'm like, I'm

2360
01:45:01,080 --> 01:45:05,760
Speaker 1: like probably on the spectrum of a sexuality. Really, I like,

2361
01:45:05,840 --> 01:45:08,760
Speaker 1: don't I'm not like motivated by sex, but like the

2362
01:45:08,760 --> 01:45:10,840
Speaker 1: novelty of like meeting someone new and like seeing if

2363
01:45:10,840 --> 01:45:12,400
Speaker 1: you can like kiss them or hook up with them,

2364
01:45:12,439 --> 01:45:15,400
Speaker 1: Like that's exciting to me. Um. But like if I

2365
01:45:15,520 --> 01:45:18,240
Speaker 1: date someone that's just just solely beautiful, like the main

2366
01:45:18,280 --> 01:45:22,040
Speaker 1: reason I'm dating dating them is beauty that fades incredibly quickly.

2367
01:45:22,479 --> 01:45:24,679
Speaker 1: And I've experience with Kalen is, yes, she's an incredibly

2368
01:45:24,720 --> 01:45:28,559
Speaker 1: beautiful person, but it's a lot more than that, and

2369
01:45:28,600 --> 01:45:30,280
Speaker 1: like I can actually enjoy it, Like I spent a

2370
01:45:30,280 --> 01:45:33,400
Speaker 1: lot of freaking time with this girl, right, And there

2371
01:45:33,439 --> 01:45:35,240
Speaker 1: are times where I'm like I need to get out

2372
01:45:35,240 --> 01:45:37,200
Speaker 1: of here, but it takes a lot longer for me

2373
01:45:37,280 --> 01:45:39,120
Speaker 1: to get to that point than it has for anyone

2374
01:45:39,120 --> 01:45:42,840
Speaker 1: in the past, where like I'm running from these relationships,

2375
01:45:42,840 --> 01:45:44,880
Speaker 1: like this is pretty Kalin. I'm running from these relationships,

2376
01:45:45,200 --> 01:45:46,600
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm running from them because I

2377
01:45:46,600 --> 01:45:48,240
Speaker 1: got into them for the wrong reason, you know, like

2378
01:45:48,280 --> 01:45:53,479
Speaker 1: for some superficial, shallow reason. Um. And what's nice about

2379
01:45:53,479 --> 01:45:55,639
Speaker 1: obviously my relationship with Kalin is it goes a little

2380
01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:57,840
Speaker 1: bit deeper than that, and there's like a little bit

2381
01:45:57,880 --> 01:46:00,920
Speaker 1: more of I guess, like banter back and forth that

2382
01:46:00,960 --> 01:46:02,720
Speaker 1: we're able to have, and so yes, she is a

2383
01:46:02,760 --> 01:46:05,000
Speaker 1: beautiful woman and I'm very lucky to be able to

2384
01:46:05,000 --> 01:46:06,679
Speaker 1: call her my girlfriend. But it goes on. It goes

2385
01:46:06,760 --> 01:46:10,320
Speaker 1: a lot deeper than just that physical beauty, which I

2386
01:46:10,360 --> 01:46:12,960
Speaker 1: typically would place ahead or in the past had placed

2387
01:46:13,000 --> 01:46:15,920
Speaker 1: ahead of, like a deeper connection, I suppose. Yeah. Then

2388
01:46:16,360 --> 01:46:18,400
Speaker 1: the thing with Kylyn is, for at least the time

2389
01:46:18,439 --> 01:46:21,639
Speaker 1: being no pressure on you, guys. Um is that when

2390
01:46:21,640 --> 01:46:23,000
Speaker 1: you do start to feel that like I need to

2391
01:46:23,000 --> 01:46:25,160
Speaker 1: get out of here, which I get I feel that too, right,

2392
01:46:25,360 --> 01:46:29,519
Speaker 1: I love my girlfriend, but it happens. The interesting part

2393
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:31,639
Speaker 1: is once you do leave and you can collect your

2394
01:46:31,640 --> 01:46:34,439
Speaker 1: thoughts there, when I know it's right, is there's an

2395
01:46:34,479 --> 01:46:37,960
Speaker 1: excitement also go back. Yeah it sucks. Yeah. We just

2396
01:46:37,960 --> 01:46:40,360
Speaker 1: spent like nine days together in a row, like literally

2397
01:46:40,560 --> 01:46:43,920
Speaker 1: every waking moment together and every unwaking moment, like we

2398
01:46:43,960 --> 01:46:47,559
Speaker 1: start obviously in the same bed and everything, and uh,

2399
01:46:47,840 --> 01:46:49,920
Speaker 1: I was like it was yesterday. I was like, dude,

2400
01:46:49,920 --> 01:46:51,240
Speaker 1: I just gotta get the hell away from you for

2401
01:46:51,240 --> 01:46:52,280
Speaker 1: a little bit, you know what I mean. So I

2402
01:46:52,360 --> 01:46:54,240
Speaker 1: drove out to Paris. I wanted to skydive all day,

2403
01:46:54,280 --> 01:46:56,559
Speaker 1: but the winds weren't didn't allow me to skydive. So

2404
01:46:56,600 --> 01:46:58,280
Speaker 1: I basically it's like kind of hung around, like worked

2405
01:46:58,280 --> 01:47:00,439
Speaker 1: on things like watching Netflix a little bit, watch football.

2406
01:47:00,880 --> 01:47:03,200
Speaker 1: Then I was like like sorry language again, but like

2407
01:47:03,240 --> 01:47:05,320
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I just want to

2408
01:47:05,439 --> 01:47:06,680
Speaker 1: kind of want to get back and hang out with her,

2409
01:47:06,680 --> 01:47:08,559
Speaker 1: you know what, which is like it's it's a really

2410
01:47:08,880 --> 01:47:11,000
Speaker 1: thing to feel, and it's a really weird feeling because

2411
01:47:11,000 --> 01:47:13,000
Speaker 1: I haven't felt it many times in my life. Yeah,

2412
01:47:13,080 --> 01:47:15,840
Speaker 1: it's like it's like, dang it, like I I think

2413
01:47:15,880 --> 01:47:21,040
Speaker 1: I've found something. Gosh, I've I've been really good at

2414
01:47:21,120 --> 01:47:24,040
Speaker 1: running away and feeling like, oh yeah, I can't do

2415
01:47:24,120 --> 01:47:26,639
Speaker 1: this is getting annoying, and then all of a sudden

2416
01:47:26,640 --> 01:47:29,200
Speaker 1: you found something that you're like, I kind of like it. Yeah.

2417
01:47:29,880 --> 01:47:31,240
Speaker 1: And that was the big thing too, where it's like

2418
01:47:31,520 --> 01:47:33,519
Speaker 1: a lot of the reason that I wanted to live

2419
01:47:33,520 --> 01:47:36,680
Speaker 1: in a van was because I wanted to experience ah,

2420
01:47:36,880 --> 01:47:40,920
Speaker 1: not like individuality, but like seclude just like complete freedom

2421
01:47:40,920 --> 01:47:42,920
Speaker 1: and every facet of the word. Right, that's what the

2422
01:47:43,160 --> 01:47:47,280
Speaker 1: appeople of living in a van expressed. I thought of it, asked, well,

2423
01:47:47,280 --> 01:47:49,200
Speaker 1: that was a weird way to say that sentence. Um,

2424
01:47:49,320 --> 01:47:51,320
Speaker 1: And then so like the idea of a girlfriend kind

2425
01:47:51,320 --> 01:47:54,280
Speaker 1: of is counterintuitive to that same idea, and so that's

2426
01:47:54,280 --> 01:47:56,000
Speaker 1: why I left the beach in the first place, where

2427
01:47:56,000 --> 01:47:58,320
Speaker 1: I was like, look, I have this very clear picture

2428
01:47:58,320 --> 01:47:59,280
Speaker 1: of what I want to be doing for the next

2429
01:47:59,280 --> 01:48:01,160
Speaker 1: whole months in my life. That's completely not her for you, don't.

2430
01:48:01,160 --> 01:48:02,240
Speaker 1: I want to be able to drive where I want

2431
01:48:02,240 --> 01:48:04,320
Speaker 1: to drive to. I want to be able to skydive

2432
01:48:04,320 --> 01:48:05,800
Speaker 1: where I want a skydive, ski where I want to ski,

2433
01:48:05,880 --> 01:48:08,800
Speaker 1: scoobar where I want a scooba, etcetera, etcetera. Um, and

2434
01:48:08,840 --> 01:48:11,160
Speaker 1: the idea of having a girlfriend is only going to

2435
01:48:11,280 --> 01:48:15,200
Speaker 1: hinder that idea. And then so coming back, I think

2436
01:48:15,240 --> 01:48:17,120
Speaker 1: like a lot of my reservations about coming back, we're

2437
01:48:17,120 --> 01:48:18,519
Speaker 1: like okay, well, like I'm still not gonna be able

2438
01:48:18,520 --> 01:48:20,000
Speaker 1: to do those things. But what's great about Kalin is

2439
01:48:20,040 --> 01:48:23,439
Speaker 1: she's very like supportive and encouraging of that. And sometimes

2440
01:48:23,479 --> 01:48:25,000
Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, like I'm gonna come along with you

2441
01:48:25,040 --> 01:48:27,160
Speaker 1: on this trip wherever you want to go. But then

2442
01:48:27,160 --> 01:48:29,479
Speaker 1: she also like, tomorrow I'll leave for Ptaro, Chico for

2443
01:48:29,520 --> 01:48:32,439
Speaker 1: two weeks, and she's like, okay with me going away

2444
01:48:32,479 --> 01:48:34,760
Speaker 1: for two weeks. Whether she has the option to not

2445
01:48:34,840 --> 01:48:36,360
Speaker 1: be okay with it or not. Maybe he's a little

2446
01:48:36,400 --> 01:48:39,400
Speaker 1: bit for debate, but the fact is she like she's

2447
01:48:39,439 --> 01:48:43,839
Speaker 1: not making me hinder my uh explorative side of myself.

2448
01:48:45,000 --> 01:48:47,320
Speaker 1: Like I feel like some relationships kind of like kind

2449
01:48:47,320 --> 01:48:50,160
Speaker 1: of really back in a little bit, and she's just

2450
01:48:50,200 --> 01:48:51,840
Speaker 1: as keen to get out there and do the things

2451
01:48:51,840 --> 01:48:53,720
Speaker 1: that I want to do for the most part um

2452
01:48:53,760 --> 01:48:55,759
Speaker 1: in terms of at least like going places. She's obviously

2453
01:48:55,840 --> 01:48:58,320
Speaker 1: on board with a lot of that stuff. But uh, yeah,

2454
01:48:58,360 --> 01:49:02,320
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little different than past relationships. It's funny. Actually,

2455
01:49:02,320 --> 01:49:04,519
Speaker 1: we were just talking the other day, uh and I

2456
01:49:04,520 --> 01:49:06,640
Speaker 1: can't remember exactly the context that it came up in,

2457
01:49:07,360 --> 01:49:11,360
Speaker 1: but we're talking about me. I shaved my legs for Halloween,

2458
01:49:11,840 --> 01:49:14,439
Speaker 1: just as a as a beautiful girl for Halloween, the

2459
01:49:14,520 --> 01:49:16,559
Speaker 1: most beautiful girl I've ever seen, second most beautiful girl

2460
01:49:16,560 --> 01:49:19,760
Speaker 1: I ever seen. And we're talking about shaving my leg hair.

2461
01:49:20,120 --> 01:49:21,920
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, like this leg hair has

2462
01:49:21,920 --> 01:49:24,439
Speaker 1: been with me my entire life. It's been with me

2463
01:49:24,479 --> 01:49:26,680
Speaker 1: through good girlfriends and through bad girlfriends. And I was like, well,

2464
01:49:26,680 --> 01:49:28,280
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna shave it off and start over new,

2465
01:49:28,320 --> 01:49:30,600
Speaker 1: because like, I actually like my girlfriend for once, not

2466
01:49:30,640 --> 01:49:32,320
Speaker 1: for once, but like, you know what I mean, Like

2467
01:49:32,360 --> 01:49:34,519
Speaker 1: it's basically like like a fresh start of sorts in

2468
01:49:34,560 --> 01:49:38,439
Speaker 1: a weird leg hair centric way up to the belly button. Um.

2469
01:49:38,560 --> 01:49:40,519
Speaker 1: I actually I went about four inches down in my thigh.

2470
01:49:40,520 --> 01:49:41,680
Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't go all the way up,

2471
01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:43,120
Speaker 1: but I didn't feel right to go all the way up.

2472
01:49:43,520 --> 01:49:45,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was like this weird Uh. I had

2473
01:49:45,680 --> 01:49:50,320
Speaker 1: never really audibly said like like I like my girlfriend

2474
01:49:50,360 --> 01:49:52,040
Speaker 1: more than I've liked a girlfriend in a long time,

2475
01:49:52,160 --> 01:49:53,920
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It was just like a

2476
01:49:54,000 --> 01:49:55,280
Speaker 1: weird I don't know, like I didn't really I don't

2477
01:49:55,280 --> 01:49:57,519
Speaker 1: think she registered it. I don't think I really registered it.

2478
01:49:57,720 --> 01:49:59,240
Speaker 1: But for me to like say that was just like

2479
01:49:59,280 --> 01:50:02,400
Speaker 1: a weird thing, you know what I mean, I know

2480
01:50:02,439 --> 01:50:04,599
Speaker 1: what you mean. Yeah, to like say it and mean

2481
01:50:04,640 --> 01:50:07,960
Speaker 1: it and feel The other day somebody asked me with Jessica.

2482
01:50:10,000 --> 01:50:11,760
Speaker 1: My dad did Actually He's like, so what do you

2483
01:50:11,840 --> 01:50:14,000
Speaker 1: what's going on there? Like? Where is this gonna go?

2484
01:50:14,600 --> 01:50:16,720
Speaker 1: I said, Dad. The craziest part about it is like

2485
01:50:16,840 --> 01:50:20,400
Speaker 1: I have so much peace around this relationship, Like it's

2486
01:50:20,439 --> 01:50:23,800
Speaker 1: exciting for me to say things like I like my girlfriend,

2487
01:50:24,479 --> 01:50:26,720
Speaker 1: which hasn't happened many times in my life. It's not

2488
01:50:26,800 --> 01:50:29,040
Speaker 1: the only time it's happened, it's not many. But the

2489
01:50:29,080 --> 01:50:31,240
Speaker 1: thing with Jessica is like, there is this like enormous

2490
01:50:31,240 --> 01:50:33,240
Speaker 1: amount of piece that follows it that has never been

2491
01:50:33,240 --> 01:50:36,080
Speaker 1: the case. I thought it is too And obviously, like

2492
01:50:36,800 --> 01:50:40,720
Speaker 1: we have our differences Kylen and I, Um, she's a

2493
01:50:40,720 --> 01:50:43,200
Speaker 1: little bit more traditional and a little bit less traditional

2494
01:50:43,360 --> 01:50:47,400
Speaker 1: of course, but uh yeah, it's just it's a it's

2495
01:50:47,439 --> 01:50:52,040
Speaker 1: a it's a nice feeling, Dean, You're in a relationship.

2496
01:50:52,560 --> 01:50:54,559
Speaker 1: Life has changed for you since we were last introduced,

2497
01:50:54,560 --> 01:50:58,880
Speaker 1: first introduced to you on The bachelorat I have a

2498
01:50:58,920 --> 01:51:01,639
Speaker 1: few emails from me your biggest fans. They're not gonna

2499
01:51:01,640 --> 01:51:03,760
Speaker 1: be easy to answer. And then I leave with this.

2500
01:51:03,840 --> 01:51:06,800
Speaker 1: In every in depth episode we do this, we say, hey, Dean,

2501
01:51:06,880 --> 01:51:09,200
Speaker 1: give us a message to send our listeners out on

2502
01:51:09,240 --> 01:51:12,160
Speaker 1: because we've got to know you through this podcast. And

2503
01:51:12,160 --> 01:51:13,920
Speaker 1: I think everybodys sitting around would say, yeah, we've got

2504
01:51:13,960 --> 01:51:17,080
Speaker 1: to know Dean a little bit better today, Greed, all

2505
01:51:17,120 --> 01:51:19,640
Speaker 1: the heads are shaking. Yeah, well, you guys know that

2506
01:51:20,120 --> 01:51:22,280
Speaker 1: about my testicles now, So I guess a little bit

2507
01:51:22,280 --> 01:51:26,360
Speaker 1: at least Dean uh This emails from Susan soon says,

2508
01:51:26,360 --> 01:51:28,400
Speaker 1: I was wondering how Dean feels about the way Rachel

2509
01:51:28,439 --> 01:51:32,120
Speaker 1: has been talking about Klin without even meeting her the

2510
01:51:32,240 --> 01:51:35,680
Speaker 1: Calan listened to his interview on the Rachel's podcast. What

2511
01:51:35,720 --> 01:51:38,040
Speaker 1: were her thoughts? When does he think the two will

2512
01:51:38,040 --> 01:51:42,320
Speaker 1: ever meet? Caitlin and Rachel have Matt post I think

2513
01:51:42,360 --> 01:51:44,559
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't

2514
01:51:44,600 --> 01:51:45,920
Speaker 1: really want to have much of an opinion on this.

2515
01:51:46,040 --> 01:51:49,800
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't need to. Okay, cool, if

2516
01:51:49,840 --> 01:51:51,559
Speaker 1: you don't want to, you don't need to. I think

2517
01:51:51,600 --> 01:51:53,200
Speaker 1: my girlfriend's great, and I think that's really all that

2518
01:51:53,240 --> 01:51:56,080
Speaker 1: matters as it pretends to the relationship, And I think

2519
01:51:56,160 --> 01:51:59,799
Speaker 1: Rachel should focus on our relationship. Next emails from Vanessa

2520
01:52:00,040 --> 01:52:03,599
Speaker 1: not the Vanessa we know. Back during Courtland's season, there

2521
01:52:03,640 --> 01:52:05,960
Speaker 1: was dramas for ending Kalin sighting into Dean's d m

2522
01:52:06,040 --> 01:52:09,000
Speaker 1: s and not being there for the right reasons. Is

2523
01:52:09,000 --> 01:52:11,880
Speaker 1: it ironic that the next chance she gets to date him,

2524
01:52:11,920 --> 01:52:14,200
Speaker 1: they walk off on the show together. Was this a

2525
01:52:14,280 --> 01:52:17,080
Speaker 1: red flag for Dean knowing that she was cast for

2526
01:52:17,120 --> 01:52:20,600
Speaker 1: Colton season while interested in you? Also the timeline of

2527
01:52:20,680 --> 01:52:23,400
Speaker 1: Kalin's being in a relationship with Blake doesn't add up

2528
01:52:23,439 --> 01:52:26,240
Speaker 1: because she was in talks to be the potential bachelort.

2529
01:52:26,320 --> 01:52:29,000
Speaker 1: So if that were true, there's no reason why she

2530
01:52:29,040 --> 01:52:31,720
Speaker 1: would be committed in a committed relationship with Blake, like

2531
01:52:31,760 --> 01:52:36,000
Speaker 1: she told people in Paradise was a red flag for you, Dean. Um, No,

2532
01:52:36,200 --> 01:52:40,719
Speaker 1: I don't think that really made much sense. Uh. Calin

2533
01:52:40,840 --> 01:52:44,120
Speaker 1: was cast for Colton's season. Yes, I think that you're

2534
01:52:44,160 --> 01:52:46,360
Speaker 1: allowed to have a crush on someone and then also

2535
01:52:46,479 --> 01:52:48,800
Speaker 1: you're allowed to go and date someone else too. I

2536
01:52:48,800 --> 01:52:50,920
Speaker 1: don't think there's much issue with that. I will say

2537
01:52:50,920 --> 01:52:53,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak on Kalen's behalf. She wanted Jason Tartick

2538
01:52:53,240 --> 01:52:55,040
Speaker 1: to be the Bachelor, and she's she went on Colton season.

2539
01:52:55,080 --> 01:52:56,640
Speaker 1: I don't think that's an issue either. It's not like

2540
01:52:56,680 --> 01:52:58,639
Speaker 1: I need someone to be like I've only had eyes

2541
01:52:58,640 --> 01:53:00,120
Speaker 1: for you since the day that I was born, and

2542
01:53:00,200 --> 01:53:02,320
Speaker 1: like she's a free woman to do what she wants.

2543
01:53:02,360 --> 01:53:05,519
Speaker 1: It's like, um, the Blake stuff. Man, that stuff's been

2544
01:53:05,600 --> 01:53:07,760
Speaker 1: beaten like a dead horse. Like a dead horse. Is

2545
01:53:07,800 --> 01:53:11,320
Speaker 1: it like a dead horse? It's been beaten to death? Um,

2546
01:53:11,360 --> 01:53:12,639
Speaker 1: And I don't think we really need to talk about

2547
01:53:12,640 --> 01:53:15,800
Speaker 1: that anymore, I would agree. So here's the truth to it.

2548
01:53:15,960 --> 01:53:20,519
Speaker 1: In summary, Dean and Kiln are together. Things are going well.

2549
01:53:20,600 --> 01:53:21,960
Speaker 1: You were the hard emails you were telling about. I

2550
01:53:21,960 --> 01:53:23,840
Speaker 1: feel like there has to be something harder than that. No,

2551
01:53:23,880 --> 01:53:27,160
Speaker 1: that's pretty hard, especially hard because Kalin is in the room.

2552
01:53:27,280 --> 01:53:34,000
Speaker 1: I know you're right. Um, okay, Dean, this is the

2553
01:53:34,120 --> 01:53:36,960
Speaker 1: end of the in depth episode one that we were

2554
01:53:37,040 --> 01:53:38,760
Speaker 1: very thankful that you came on. Thank you first off

2555
01:53:38,760 --> 01:53:41,479
Speaker 1: for coming on here and sharing, um who you are

2556
01:53:41,560 --> 01:53:43,920
Speaker 1: with us, allowing us to to fill in the gaps

2557
01:53:44,000 --> 01:53:45,720
Speaker 1: of where we might have missed it during your time

2558
01:53:45,720 --> 01:53:49,240
Speaker 1: on The Bachelor, I think hopefully, and tell me if

2559
01:53:49,240 --> 01:53:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. These podcasts help give a clearer picture of

2560
01:53:52,040 --> 01:53:55,559
Speaker 1: who Dean is. Um. Yeah, What's funny about podcast to

2561
01:53:55,600 --> 01:53:58,160
Speaker 1: me is I always I don't always listen to them back,

2562
01:53:58,160 --> 01:54:00,439
Speaker 1: but sometimes I listen back to a podcast that either

2563
01:54:00,520 --> 01:54:02,360
Speaker 1: I was on or a friend of mine was on,

2564
01:54:02,960 --> 01:54:05,320
Speaker 1: and I'll always like look back and be like, well,

2565
01:54:05,360 --> 01:54:07,080
Speaker 1: I wish we would have dived into this a little

2566
01:54:07,120 --> 01:54:09,120
Speaker 1: bit deeper or went down this alley a little bit

2567
01:54:09,200 --> 01:54:11,640
Speaker 1: longer kind of thing. Um, And I'm sure like it

2568
01:54:12,479 --> 01:54:15,400
Speaker 1: if I listened to this podcast back, I might obviously

2569
01:54:15,439 --> 01:54:17,360
Speaker 1: not because it's kind of embarrassing for me in a

2570
01:54:17,400 --> 01:54:20,280
Speaker 1: lot of ways. I hope that I don't feel that way.

2571
01:54:20,320 --> 01:54:23,599
Speaker 1: I don't expect to. UM. Whenever you like think about

2572
01:54:23,640 --> 01:54:27,000
Speaker 1: your story to yourself and for whatever reason you're doing it,

2573
01:54:27,040 --> 01:54:29,360
Speaker 1: you always like kind of plan the things that you

2574
01:54:29,400 --> 01:54:31,960
Speaker 1: want to talk about and like what you want to

2575
01:54:31,960 --> 01:54:34,440
Speaker 1: touch on. And so I feel like obviously conversation flows

2576
01:54:34,440 --> 01:54:36,280
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows and doesn't necessarily allow at all times.

2577
01:54:36,280 --> 01:54:37,560
Speaker 1: But I think that this was really good and I

2578
01:54:37,560 --> 01:54:40,600
Speaker 1: think that you did a great job of navigating the conversation.

2579
01:54:41,440 --> 01:54:42,920
Speaker 1: You got the ball story out of me for the

2580
01:54:42,960 --> 01:54:46,760
Speaker 1: first time in public that's ever happened. That's a big one.

2581
01:54:46,920 --> 01:54:49,440
Speaker 1: And I thought about every every platform that I would

2582
01:54:49,440 --> 01:54:52,080
Speaker 1: have had to share that story. I never never expected

2583
01:54:52,120 --> 01:54:53,680
Speaker 1: it to be this, but you did a fantastic job.

2584
01:54:53,680 --> 01:54:56,320
Speaker 1: You made me feel comfortable, You made me feel like

2585
01:54:56,320 --> 01:54:59,480
Speaker 1: I was at home. So I appreciate that. But is

2586
01:54:59,560 --> 01:55:01,600
Speaker 1: there any thing right now that you do look back

2587
01:55:01,640 --> 01:55:03,120
Speaker 1: on during this and you're like, I wish you would

2588
01:55:03,120 --> 01:55:08,120
Speaker 1: have gone deeper. Um, I'm grateful that we didn't go

2589
01:55:08,240 --> 01:55:14,600
Speaker 1: deeper on Bachelor Winter Games. I'm grateful that the thing

2590
01:55:14,640 --> 01:55:18,000
Speaker 1: about all these stories, right is that there whatever I say,

2591
01:55:18,040 --> 01:55:20,640
Speaker 1: whatever story I share, it's never going to be the

2592
01:55:20,640 --> 01:55:23,200
Speaker 1: full truth, whether I think it is or not, it's

2593
01:55:23,240 --> 01:55:26,120
Speaker 1: never gonna be a pent accurate And so it just

2594
01:55:26,120 --> 01:55:28,320
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily make sense to kind of go into a

2595
01:55:28,360 --> 01:55:29,880
Speaker 1: lot of like the he said, she said type of

2596
01:55:29,920 --> 01:55:32,680
Speaker 1: stuff because it's never gonna be right. And so I

2597
01:55:32,720 --> 01:55:34,800
Speaker 1: appreciate that we didn't dwell on that stuff very long

2598
01:55:34,840 --> 01:55:39,120
Speaker 1: because my experience with Bachelor in Paradise is my experience

2599
01:55:39,560 --> 01:55:41,520
Speaker 1: and everyone else's is everyone else is. So it's just

2600
01:55:41,560 --> 01:55:44,440
Speaker 1: like it's kind of a challenging thing to navigate when

2601
01:55:44,480 --> 01:55:45,680
Speaker 1: you want to open up about it, And like I

2602
01:55:45,680 --> 01:55:48,440
Speaker 1: don't want to put anyone in blast ever either, so

2603
01:55:48,480 --> 01:55:51,360
Speaker 1: like while you're trying to be respectful of their privacy,

2604
01:55:51,720 --> 01:55:53,480
Speaker 1: you also want to share your side of the story,

2605
01:55:53,520 --> 01:55:56,080
Speaker 1: even though you know that that's maybe not exactly like

2606
01:55:56,080 --> 01:55:57,839
Speaker 1: if you were to go with a third party objective

2607
01:55:57,880 --> 01:55:59,440
Speaker 1: view to that stuff, like maybe you would see things

2608
01:55:59,440 --> 01:56:01,200
Speaker 1: a little bit differ. Only so it's just always like

2609
01:56:01,200 --> 01:56:03,800
Speaker 1: a weird, challenging dynamic. But um, I don't think that

2610
01:56:04,440 --> 01:56:07,400
Speaker 1: we could have gone deeper into anything than we did.

2611
01:56:08,920 --> 01:56:14,320
Speaker 1: I I am a little upset that. Um. We talked

2612
01:56:14,320 --> 01:56:17,160
Speaker 1: a little bit about how there were only a few

2613
01:56:17,200 --> 01:56:19,360
Speaker 1: moments that I were to show emotion during this podcast

2614
01:56:19,400 --> 01:56:21,320
Speaker 1: that you said because I wanted to show more, and

2615
01:56:21,320 --> 01:56:23,920
Speaker 1: I do want to show more, and I obviously you know,

2616
01:56:24,000 --> 01:56:25,920
Speaker 1: we've we've gotten there a couple of times as friends.

2617
01:56:26,360 --> 01:56:28,040
Speaker 1: But it's kind of, I guess hard to be like

2618
01:56:28,040 --> 01:56:30,400
Speaker 1: that performative and be like, let's dive into this and like,

2619
01:56:30,480 --> 01:56:33,240
Speaker 1: let's get super emotional about it, especially when when when

2620
01:56:33,240 --> 01:56:35,600
Speaker 1: it comes to things like talking about my mother passing

2621
01:56:35,680 --> 01:56:38,120
Speaker 1: away or Hunter or Alex. It's kind of gotten to

2622
01:56:38,120 --> 01:56:40,360
Speaker 1: the point where I've just began to recite like a

2623
01:56:40,360 --> 01:56:42,000
Speaker 1: script in my head, you know what I mean. You

2624
01:56:42,000 --> 01:56:44,160
Speaker 1: you explain it enough times, you basically just spit out

2625
01:56:44,160 --> 01:56:45,920
Speaker 1: the facts as quickly as you can and then you

2626
01:56:46,120 --> 01:56:48,720
Speaker 1: hope to move on to the next topic. And this

2627
01:56:48,920 --> 01:56:51,800
Speaker 1: was it was that, but it was like a maybe

2628
01:56:52,000 --> 01:56:54,120
Speaker 1: a more water down version of that where we dove

2629
01:56:54,120 --> 01:56:56,440
Speaker 1: a little bit deeper into which I appreciate, but I

2630
01:56:56,440 --> 01:56:58,000
Speaker 1: still feel like there were times where I was kind

2631
01:56:58,000 --> 01:56:59,960
Speaker 1: of like going into autopilot mode and just like saying

2632
01:57:00,040 --> 01:57:01,680
Speaker 1: things that I've said a thousand times, you know what

2633
01:57:01,720 --> 01:57:04,400
Speaker 1: I mean, and so ill if I were to listen

2634
01:57:04,400 --> 01:57:06,240
Speaker 1: back to this, I would I would probably be critical

2635
01:57:06,240 --> 01:57:11,000
Speaker 1: of myself for not being more I guess, like spontaneous

2636
01:57:11,040 --> 01:57:14,240
Speaker 1: with my emotions and like figuring out exactly what might

2637
01:57:14,240 --> 01:57:16,760
Speaker 1: have been causing those like words that I was saying,

2638
01:57:16,840 --> 01:57:20,160
Speaker 1: you know, And and I don't know how to respond

2639
01:57:20,200 --> 01:57:23,160
Speaker 1: to that, because I feel like it's it is one

2640
01:57:23,200 --> 01:57:26,280
Speaker 1: of the detriments to doing a having a public life

2641
01:57:26,320 --> 01:57:28,200
Speaker 1: at any level is you get asked about the things

2642
01:57:28,200 --> 01:57:31,080
Speaker 1: that have been most pivotal in your story, like a

2643
01:57:31,200 --> 01:57:33,840
Speaker 1: mother passing or best friend passing, and you could ask

2644
01:57:33,880 --> 01:57:37,920
Speaker 1: about it so consistently even today, like different thing. But

2645
01:57:37,960 --> 01:57:39,840
Speaker 1: for me, some pivotal points in my life are my

2646
01:57:39,880 --> 01:57:42,440
Speaker 1: times in hnderous and like my relationship with Lauren. I

2647
01:57:42,480 --> 01:57:43,640
Speaker 1: just did a press to her today and I was

2648
01:57:43,640 --> 01:57:45,800
Speaker 1: asked about Lauren getting married on every single one of

2649
01:57:45,840 --> 01:57:50,320
Speaker 1: my stops, Like that's my ex who I spent two

2650
01:57:50,360 --> 01:57:52,440
Speaker 1: years of my life with, who like has held a

2651
01:57:52,480 --> 01:57:54,280
Speaker 1: big piece of my heart for a while, Or your

2652
01:57:54,400 --> 01:57:57,120
Speaker 1: your mother who has a huge role in your life,

2653
01:57:57,160 --> 01:57:59,280
Speaker 1: but you talk about it so consistently that you've become

2654
01:57:59,400 --> 01:58:02,080
Speaker 1: numb to the answers, and it does become routine, and

2655
01:58:02,120 --> 01:58:05,240
Speaker 1: it's scary. It's scary, but it's also healthy because I

2656
01:58:06,160 --> 01:58:11,360
Speaker 1: know that in my own time there is a deep

2657
01:58:12,720 --> 01:58:15,880
Speaker 1: sensitivity and caring for those moments that like I can't

2658
01:58:15,960 --> 01:58:18,320
Speaker 1: highlight publicly because I just I do, I turn into

2659
01:58:18,280 --> 01:58:20,440
Speaker 1: a robot right well, And also think about it this way,

2660
01:58:20,480 --> 01:58:23,200
Speaker 1: like in my case, what would it be like if

2661
01:58:23,240 --> 01:58:24,960
Speaker 1: every time someone asked me to talk about my mother,

2662
01:58:25,000 --> 01:58:26,240
Speaker 1: like I broke down and started crying, you know what

2663
01:58:26,280 --> 01:58:29,880
Speaker 1: I mean? Like that just doesn't really seem healthy. I

2664
01:58:29,920 --> 01:58:31,520
Speaker 1: don't know, but maybe it is. Maybe it's not. I

2665
01:58:31,560 --> 01:58:34,160
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know exactly. It's just it's like likely,

2666
01:58:34,200 --> 01:58:35,520
Speaker 1: like you said, you kind of become numb to it

2667
01:58:35,560 --> 01:58:37,320
Speaker 1: and you just basically recite the things that you've learned

2668
01:58:37,320 --> 01:58:39,640
Speaker 1: to recite just so you can kind of either get

2669
01:58:39,680 --> 01:58:42,080
Speaker 1: off a topic you're uncomfortable talking about and move on

2670
01:58:42,120 --> 01:58:44,880
Speaker 1: to something else, or for whatever other reason, I don't know,

2671
01:58:46,040 --> 01:58:51,160
Speaker 1: deing um close out here. Thirty second message to our listeners.

2672
01:58:51,560 --> 01:58:55,240
Speaker 1: Before we do, Ashley has written some rapid fire questions

2673
01:58:55,240 --> 01:58:56,720
Speaker 1: for you. We're gonna bring on Bob Dalton at the

2674
01:58:56,800 --> 01:58:59,320
Speaker 1: end of the podcast. But thirty second message to our

2675
01:58:59,360 --> 01:59:02,200
Speaker 1: listeners of who you're becoming, who you want to be,

2676
01:59:03,080 --> 01:59:08,240
Speaker 1: and how they can live their best life. Wow, best life.

2677
01:59:08,240 --> 01:59:10,680
Speaker 1: That's a good one. Um. Who am I becoming? I

2678
01:59:10,720 --> 01:59:13,080
Speaker 1: think every day I grew up to hopefully become a

2679
01:59:13,120 --> 01:59:14,880
Speaker 1: better version of myself. I don't really know. This is

2680
01:59:14,920 --> 01:59:17,800
Speaker 1: kind of a weird thirty second segment. Um. If you're

2681
01:59:17,800 --> 01:59:19,160
Speaker 1: listening to this, be sure to listen to help I

2682
01:59:19,160 --> 01:59:22,280
Speaker 1: second dating on I Heart Radio. Also if you're listening

2683
01:59:22,280 --> 01:59:24,200
Speaker 1: to this. A big thing that people reach out to

2684
01:59:24,200 --> 01:59:26,760
Speaker 1: me often about on Instagram is about the traveling that

2685
01:59:26,840 --> 01:59:28,160
Speaker 1: I do. And I think that I've learned a lot

2686
01:59:28,240 --> 01:59:31,040
Speaker 1: about myself through the travels that I've done, both by

2687
01:59:31,080 --> 01:59:34,080
Speaker 1: myself and with friends and significant others. Um. And if

2688
01:59:34,120 --> 01:59:36,720
Speaker 1: you're ever questioning whether you should do something along those lines,

2689
01:59:36,760 --> 01:59:38,520
Speaker 1: I fully support it and encourage you to do it

2690
01:59:38,600 --> 01:59:41,800
Speaker 1: because I've learned a lot about myself. I've gained Uh.

2691
01:59:42,240 --> 01:59:44,160
Speaker 1: I would say almost all the confidence I have nowadays

2692
01:59:44,280 --> 01:59:47,480
Speaker 1: is just through traveling, especially as of lately, by myself

2693
01:59:47,480 --> 01:59:52,400
Speaker 1: with my friends, and it's invaluable experience and it's incredibly fun.

2694
01:59:52,640 --> 01:59:55,240
Speaker 1: Be sure to check out my website www dot Danie

2695
01:59:55,280 --> 01:59:58,560
Speaker 1: babies dot com. I'm writing about my travels a little

2696
01:59:58,600 --> 02:00:01,560
Speaker 1: bit more, and I want to be able to share

2697
02:00:01,600 --> 02:00:03,040
Speaker 1: with you kind of like the nitty gritty side of

2698
02:00:03,040 --> 02:00:05,240
Speaker 1: traveling and not really like the puffed up like I

2699
02:00:05,520 --> 02:00:08,760
Speaker 1: share about my costs and my planning and all that

2700
02:00:08,800 --> 02:00:10,360
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I kind of want to shed

2701
02:00:10,400 --> 02:00:12,920
Speaker 1: some light on that side of things to hopefully allow

2702
02:00:13,000 --> 02:00:14,720
Speaker 1: you to understand it better to be able to do

2703
02:00:14,760 --> 02:00:17,200
Speaker 1: it yourself, because it's changed me a lot as a human.

2704
02:00:17,320 --> 02:00:19,600
Speaker 1: So that's it. So where can they find the blog?

2705
02:00:19,840 --> 02:00:23,640
Speaker 1: Danny babies dot com, Deanie babies dot com Coming at you, Dean,

2706
02:00:24,040 --> 02:00:26,720
Speaker 1: send us out here. Ashley's Rapid Fire Questions TV show.

2707
02:00:26,760 --> 02:00:31,720
Speaker 1: You're loving right now? Oh, living with yourself? You can

2708
02:00:31,800 --> 02:00:34,560
Speaker 1: only have one of these toothpaste flost soap. Which one

2709
02:00:34,600 --> 02:00:39,520
Speaker 1: do you pick? Oh Man toothpaste artists? You want to

2710
02:00:39,560 --> 02:00:44,600
Speaker 1: have play at your wedding? Oh John craigy good choice?

2711
02:00:44,640 --> 02:00:47,320
Speaker 1: Widing know. I just saw him live, did you? Oh? Yeah?

2712
02:00:47,400 --> 02:00:51,400
Speaker 1: Love John Grays. That's I like that about you. Hey,

2713
02:00:51,400 --> 02:00:56,680
Speaker 1: celebrity crush Kaylyn Miller Keys can't choose her Jamie Chunk,

2714
02:00:58,720 --> 02:01:04,960
Speaker 1: not Surprised, Jared or Nick Jared and Nick. I don't know, Ben.

2715
02:01:05,640 --> 02:01:10,240
Speaker 1: That's a messed up question that you can only listen

2716
02:01:10,280 --> 02:01:11,960
Speaker 1: to one of these bands forever. Which one do you pick?

2717
02:01:12,040 --> 02:01:15,520
Speaker 1: In sinc Backstreet Boys or Jonas Brothers. I'll go deaf,

2718
02:01:15,560 --> 02:01:18,920
Speaker 1: thank you very much. And this one is easy. Which

2719
02:01:18,920 --> 02:01:21,680
Speaker 1: one did you rather give up? Drinking or traveling? Drinking?

2720
02:01:22,560 --> 02:01:32,640
Speaker 1: Dean and glared everybody, it's holiday season. We're up in flying,

2721
02:01:32,680 --> 02:01:36,640
Speaker 1: we're driving, we're playing trains, automobiles, walking. I don't know

2722
02:01:36,680 --> 02:01:38,240
Speaker 1: what you wanna do. You can do a lot of

2723
02:01:38,280 --> 02:01:41,360
Speaker 1: things during your travel, but make sure you've got a

2724
02:01:41,360 --> 02:01:46,040
Speaker 1: bag to go with it. Away luggage. This luggage is

2725
02:01:46,040 --> 02:01:49,880
Speaker 1: for modern travel. Away luggage is the perfect suitcase with

2726
02:01:49,920 --> 02:01:54,880
Speaker 1: all the features that make travel easier. We are constantly traveling,

2727
02:01:55,040 --> 02:01:57,680
Speaker 1: and the perfect luggage is so important. You just heard Dean.

2728
02:01:58,400 --> 02:02:00,920
Speaker 1: He is now picking me. He's going to Mexico for

2729
02:02:00,920 --> 02:02:04,080
Speaker 1: two weeks. I'm on a flight again tomorrow. Things happen

2730
02:02:04,120 --> 02:02:07,160
Speaker 1: in life that you just you gotta move and groove

2731
02:02:07,200 --> 02:02:11,000
Speaker 1: in today's world, and in a sense, your luggage is

2732
02:02:11,040 --> 02:02:14,280
Speaker 1: your home on the road. You get a hundred day

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Speaker 1: personalized item for a full refund free shipping on any

2737
02:02:26,680 --> 02:02:30,280
Speaker 1: way order within the contiguous US, Europe, in Australia. It

2738
02:02:30,320 --> 02:02:34,000
Speaker 1: makes the perfect gift I'm taking to carry on to

2739
02:02:34,200 --> 02:02:41,160
Speaker 1: Napa Valley yet this weekend. A lightweight and durable shell

2740
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2741
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Speaker 1: sigree spinner wheels guaranteed a smooth ride, t s A

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2743
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Speaker 1: battery to keep your phone charged. A removable laundry bag

2744
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Speaker 1: to separate dirty clothes from clean clothes. The Way suitcase

2745
02:02:59,880 --> 02:03:03,680
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2746
02:03:04,160 --> 02:03:06,560
Speaker 1: I want something that is durable and great quality, and

2747
02:03:06,520 --> 02:03:10,120
Speaker 1: anything breaks, the Away customer service team will have it

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02:03:10,240 --> 02:03:13,440
Speaker 1: fixed or replaced. You can visit their Way stores in

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Speaker 1: New York, Austin, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Chicago, and London.

2750
02:03:19,080 --> 02:03:22,920
Speaker 1: Listen up for twenty dollars office suitcase. Visit Away travel

2751
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Speaker 1: dot com, back slash famous and use promo code Famous

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Speaker 1: during checkout again for twenty dollars off a suitcase, visit

2753
02:03:30,120 --> 02:03:33,760
Speaker 1: away travel dot com, backslash famous and use promo code

2754
02:03:33,800 --> 02:03:40,920
Speaker 1: famous during checkout. You heard us talk about it many

2755
02:03:40,960 --> 02:03:44,760
Speaker 1: times before. Just for a little reminder, two years ago,

2756
02:03:44,880 --> 02:03:46,440
Speaker 1: I started on a journey with a few my buddy

2757
02:03:46,440 --> 02:03:49,280
Speaker 1: starting company called Generous International. I'm not gonna bore you

2758
02:03:49,320 --> 02:03:50,600
Speaker 1: with it because if you're a fan of the show,

2759
02:03:50,600 --> 02:03:53,680
Speaker 1: you've probably heard it many times before. But Generous sells coffee,

2760
02:03:54,120 --> 02:03:57,520
Speaker 1: t shirts, bracelets, mugs, other products of stories behind them

2761
02:03:57,520 --> 02:04:01,680
Speaker 1: and we donate the profits of them back to nonprofits,

2762
02:04:01,680 --> 02:04:07,200
Speaker 1: social causes, etcetera that are making uh life change in

2763
02:04:07,240 --> 02:04:10,120
Speaker 1: the world. So it's fighting human injustice that are affecting humans.

2764
02:04:10,560 --> 02:04:14,000
Speaker 1: And here right now, we're partnering with a campaign with

2765
02:04:14,040 --> 02:04:17,560
Speaker 1: Sackcloth and Ashes. Uh. Sackcloth and Nashes is a blanket

2766
02:04:17,560 --> 02:04:22,160
Speaker 1: company that is a give one How would you explain

2767
02:04:22,200 --> 02:04:23,880
Speaker 1: that bob by one give one model? Is that what

2768
02:04:23,920 --> 02:04:28,160
Speaker 1: you call that? One local local model? Uh? We're partnering

2769
02:04:28,160 --> 02:04:30,960
Speaker 1: cyck Cloth Nash is because for every blanket you buy

2770
02:04:31,000 --> 02:04:37,200
Speaker 1: between October through October, a blanket will be donated to

2771
02:04:37,360 --> 02:04:41,080
Speaker 1: your local homeless shelter along with you will receive a

2772
02:04:41,080 --> 02:04:44,640
Speaker 1: twelve ounce bag of coffee and the proceeds will be

2773
02:04:44,640 --> 02:04:48,120
Speaker 1: donated to the l A Mission. And right now, my

2774
02:04:48,200 --> 02:04:50,880
Speaker 1: good buddy, one of my greatest friends, one of my

2775
02:04:50,920 --> 02:04:53,640
Speaker 1: newest friends, Bob Dalton, is in studio talking to us

2776
02:04:53,640 --> 02:04:58,880
Speaker 1: about the campaign right now. Bob, obviously I know uh

2777
02:04:58,960 --> 02:05:01,280
Speaker 1: the story behind Sackcloth Nashes. But for the listeners out

2778
02:05:01,280 --> 02:05:05,680
Speaker 1: there that do not, um, why was that Claus started? Yeah?

2779
02:05:05,680 --> 02:05:08,400
Speaker 1: So I launched the company five years ago and it

2780
02:05:08,480 --> 02:05:10,280
Speaker 1: was inspired by my mom who ended up living on

2781
02:05:10,320 --> 02:05:14,160
Speaker 1: the streets for a short period of time, and it

2782
02:05:14,240 --> 02:05:16,839
Speaker 1: completely changed my paradigm of how I view and understand

2783
02:05:16,840 --> 02:05:18,920
Speaker 1: homelessness because I was always the guy that would drive

2784
02:05:18,960 --> 02:05:20,840
Speaker 1: by people on the street and whisper under my breath,

2785
02:05:20,840 --> 02:05:24,240
Speaker 1: go get a job. And she ended up in that situation,

2786
02:05:24,360 --> 02:05:27,000
Speaker 1: and it um changed my paradigm because she has two

2787
02:05:27,040 --> 02:05:29,560
Speaker 1: college degrees, she raised my sister and I by herself.

2788
02:05:29,600 --> 02:05:32,320
Speaker 1: She's the hardest working woman I know, and so the

2789
02:05:32,360 --> 02:05:35,560
Speaker 1: idea that she would end up in that situation, it

2790
02:05:35,640 --> 02:05:37,840
Speaker 1: inspired me to call my local home of shelters and

2791
02:05:37,880 --> 02:05:40,320
Speaker 1: ask what they needed, and they all said blankets. And

2792
02:05:40,360 --> 02:05:42,360
Speaker 1: I was familiar with the one for one model. But

2793
02:05:42,480 --> 02:05:44,280
Speaker 1: I felt like the evolution to the one for one

2794
02:05:44,320 --> 02:05:48,520
Speaker 1: model was to evolve it and make it local and um,

2795
02:05:48,560 --> 02:05:51,080
Speaker 1: giving people all around the United States an opportunity to

2796
02:05:51,120 --> 02:05:53,160
Speaker 1: make a difference down the street from where they live.

2797
02:05:53,640 --> 02:05:55,080
Speaker 1: And so I came up with the idea that for

2798
02:05:55,120 --> 02:05:58,280
Speaker 1: every blanket purchased, will donate a blanket to that person's

2799
02:05:58,320 --> 02:06:01,240
Speaker 1: local home of shelters. So if you live in Austin, Texas,

2800
02:06:01,240 --> 02:06:02,760
Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to

2801
02:06:02,760 --> 02:06:05,760
Speaker 1: a homeless shelter in Austin. If you live in Nashville, Tennessee,

2802
02:06:05,760 --> 02:06:07,160
Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to

2803
02:06:07,200 --> 02:06:10,280
Speaker 1: a shelter in Nashville. And the whole concept was, let's

2804
02:06:10,280 --> 02:06:12,960
Speaker 1: empower people to make a difference in their local communities

2805
02:06:13,240 --> 02:06:15,640
Speaker 1: to help an issue that is in all of our backyards.

2806
02:06:16,240 --> 02:06:18,560
Speaker 1: You actually brought in I think two blankets from market

2807
02:06:18,640 --> 02:06:20,720
Speaker 1: Easton to day. You want to pass those out real quick? Yeah,

2808
02:06:20,800 --> 02:06:25,959
Speaker 1: that'd be great. Check these out as we're talking. Uh, yeah,

2809
02:06:26,000 --> 02:06:28,400
Speaker 1: we're passing on the blankets right now. Um for Mark

2810
02:06:28,440 --> 02:06:30,760
Speaker 1: and Easton to take home, keep cuttle up with tonight

2811
02:06:31,240 --> 02:06:35,120
Speaker 1: with their their lovely wives. Easton has the biggest male space.

2812
02:06:35,160 --> 02:06:38,120
Speaker 1: There's that one man that loves getting gifts more than

2813
02:06:38,160 --> 02:06:42,520
Speaker 1: easton Um Bob. As as they open up these gifts here,

2814
02:06:42,520 --> 02:06:44,200
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit. Then

2815
02:06:44,960 --> 02:06:48,360
Speaker 1: you see a need, um, you hear a need from

2816
02:06:48,360 --> 02:06:51,040
Speaker 1: the local shelters. You start this blanket company, and then

2817
02:06:51,080 --> 02:06:53,160
Speaker 1: what is the story of sackcloth and ash has been?

2818
02:06:53,200 --> 02:06:57,840
Speaker 1: Because that's where it starts, but it's definitely not There's

2819
02:06:57,840 --> 02:06:59,720
Speaker 1: a lot that's happened to get you to this place

2820
02:07:00,040 --> 02:07:02,920
Speaker 1: you are now. Yeah, So the quick overview is I

2821
02:07:03,000 --> 02:07:05,280
Speaker 1: launched the company with a sewing machine and a roll

2822
02:07:05,320 --> 02:07:08,440
Speaker 1: of fabric from Joe Ann's Fabric and shout out to

2823
02:07:08,520 --> 02:07:11,080
Speaker 1: Joe Ann's. I still get the discount codes on my phone.

2824
02:07:11,600 --> 02:07:14,520
Speaker 1: And I realized really quickly that I can't sew, and

2825
02:07:14,560 --> 02:07:17,560
Speaker 1: so I found a lady in my community that could.

2826
02:07:17,640 --> 02:07:19,920
Speaker 1: So she started making me blankets. I'd box them up,

2827
02:07:20,200 --> 02:07:22,920
Speaker 1: started driving up and down the Oregon coast and getting

2828
02:07:22,960 --> 02:07:25,600
Speaker 1: into as many shops as I could. And my only

2829
02:07:25,640 --> 02:07:28,320
Speaker 1: business strategy was post on Instagram once a day. So

2830
02:07:28,360 --> 02:07:30,880
Speaker 1: I'm posting on Instagram. This is back in two thousand fourteen,

2831
02:07:30,920 --> 02:07:33,720
Speaker 1: when Instagram was just at the early stages of kind

2832
02:07:33,720 --> 02:07:36,200
Speaker 1: of at the bottom of the wave. November of two

2833
02:07:36,200 --> 02:07:40,280
Speaker 1: thousand fourteen, five months into business, Instagram emailed me and

2834
02:07:40,280 --> 02:07:42,080
Speaker 1: they're like, Bob, we love your story, we love what

2835
02:07:42,120 --> 02:07:45,200
Speaker 1: you're doing. We want to feature you on Instagram's Instagram account.

2836
02:07:45,440 --> 02:07:47,160
Speaker 1: And that was kind of our kickstarter. That was our

2837
02:07:47,200 --> 02:07:49,840
Speaker 1: big break as a company. They post about us, we

2838
02:07:49,880 --> 02:07:52,840
Speaker 1: go out to forty two million people and we grew

2839
02:07:52,880 --> 02:07:55,960
Speaker 1: like twenty thou followers overnight. Ultimately, what that did was

2840
02:07:56,040 --> 02:07:58,040
Speaker 1: it gave us the ability to work with pretty much

2841
02:07:58,080 --> 02:08:01,360
Speaker 1: any content creator on Instagram. So there was a time

2842
02:08:01,560 --> 02:08:03,760
Speaker 1: like two thousand fourteen, two thousand fifteen, I was working

2843
02:08:03,760 --> 02:08:06,440
Speaker 1: with over a hundred influencers at one time and just

2844
02:08:06,480 --> 02:08:09,280
Speaker 1: built the brand on social media for the first four years.

2845
02:08:09,680 --> 02:08:13,320
Speaker 1: Two thousand eighteen, we launched our first major campaign called

2846
02:08:13,320 --> 02:08:16,160
Speaker 1: Blanket the United States, where our goal is to donate

2847
02:08:16,200 --> 02:08:18,640
Speaker 1: one million blankets a home of shelters by two thousand

2848
02:08:18,680 --> 02:08:21,040
Speaker 1: twenty four. And we're gonna do that by partnering with

2849
02:08:21,040 --> 02:08:23,360
Speaker 1: people individually who buy a blanket from our website will

2850
02:08:23,360 --> 02:08:25,640
Speaker 1: send a blanket to their local Homer shelter. And we're

2851
02:08:25,640 --> 02:08:28,200
Speaker 1: gonna do that by partnering with companies that want to

2852
02:08:28,200 --> 02:08:30,560
Speaker 1: give gifts to their employees of their customers. They can

2853
02:08:30,560 --> 02:08:32,760
Speaker 1: now give a blanket as a gift and make a

2854
02:08:32,760 --> 02:08:34,800
Speaker 1: difference in their local home and shelters. So it's answering

2855
02:08:34,840 --> 02:08:37,600
Speaker 1: a huge question for tons of corporations around the United

2856
02:08:37,600 --> 02:08:39,760
Speaker 1: States that are like, how can we make a difference

2857
02:08:39,760 --> 02:08:41,760
Speaker 1: in our local communities. You can now give a blanket

2858
02:08:41,760 --> 02:08:43,800
Speaker 1: as a gift and make a difference in your local community.

2859
02:08:44,040 --> 02:08:45,960
Speaker 1: So what that's done is it's opened up the door

2860
02:08:46,000 --> 02:08:48,240
Speaker 1: for us to work with organizations all around the United

2861
02:08:48,240 --> 02:08:51,640
Speaker 1: States and partner with people like ben UH to run

2862
02:08:51,680 --> 02:08:57,240
Speaker 1: a specific awareness campaigns to bring exposure and light to

2863
02:08:57,640 --> 02:09:00,320
Speaker 1: organizations that are actually doing really good work on a

2864
02:09:00,360 --> 02:09:04,680
Speaker 1: grassroots level. It's you know, prettybody out there listening. Cyclous

2865
02:09:04,720 --> 02:09:07,920
Speaker 1: nash Is has quickly become one of the most um

2866
02:09:08,200 --> 02:09:12,920
Speaker 1: prominent for purpose companies UH in the US, and UH

2867
02:09:12,920 --> 02:09:16,640
Speaker 1: and obviously Generous is working really hard um to continue

2868
02:09:16,640 --> 02:09:19,200
Speaker 1: to do good as well. You know for somebody like

2869
02:09:19,240 --> 02:09:23,880
Speaker 1: Sackcloth nash Is, who have you have a platform, you

2870
02:09:23,920 --> 02:09:25,720
Speaker 1: have a product, things are going well, why do you

2871
02:09:25,720 --> 02:09:28,680
Speaker 1: partner with a company like Generous? I just had a

2872
02:09:28,720 --> 02:09:32,320
Speaker 1: lot of respect for you personally, because you know, anybody

2873
02:09:32,360 --> 02:09:35,800
Speaker 1: that gains following really quick, it's really fascinating to see

2874
02:09:35,840 --> 02:09:38,320
Speaker 1: what they ultimately do with that platform. And I had

2875
02:09:38,320 --> 02:09:40,240
Speaker 1: a lot of respect for you because you actually use

2876
02:09:40,280 --> 02:09:43,720
Speaker 1: your platform to start something from the ground up. And

2877
02:09:44,280 --> 02:09:46,200
Speaker 1: you know, I just have respect for anybody that's out

2878
02:09:46,200 --> 02:09:48,120
Speaker 1: there trying to start something from the ground up. Is

2879
02:09:48,400 --> 02:09:52,440
Speaker 1: entrepreneurship is incredibly difficult and of the time doesn't work out.

2880
02:09:52,720 --> 02:09:54,640
Speaker 1: So the fact that you use the platform that you

2881
02:09:54,720 --> 02:09:57,200
Speaker 1: had to actually start something from the ground up and

2882
02:09:57,240 --> 02:09:59,920
Speaker 1: specifically start something from the ground up, that actually is

2883
02:10:00,040 --> 02:10:02,640
Speaker 1: making a difference. That's what really drew me to what

2884
02:10:02,680 --> 02:10:06,080
Speaker 1: you're doing. And you know, I'm a fan, I'm I'm

2885
02:10:06,120 --> 02:10:08,640
Speaker 1: a supporter of anybody out there that's actually showing up

2886
02:10:08,640 --> 02:10:11,440
Speaker 1: and trying to make stuff happen like that. And so yeah,

2887
02:10:11,480 --> 02:10:13,760
Speaker 1: it's been a privilege to be able to partner with

2888
02:10:13,800 --> 02:10:17,400
Speaker 1: you in Generous and being able to do this specific campaign. Yeah, well,

2889
02:10:17,440 --> 02:10:18,960
Speaker 1: it sounds like I just teed myself up for a

2890
02:10:19,000 --> 02:10:22,120
Speaker 1: really nice compliment there, Um, that's not you know, I

2891
02:10:22,160 --> 02:10:24,160
Speaker 1: think Bob and I have got along really well because

2892
02:10:24,160 --> 02:10:27,280
Speaker 1: I think Generous Mission to donate profits back to and

2893
02:10:27,360 --> 02:10:30,200
Speaker 1: kind of be the engine that fuels nonprofits. They are

2894
02:10:30,240 --> 02:10:32,560
Speaker 1: trying to make life change and Sackcloth and Nash is

2895
02:10:32,840 --> 02:10:36,320
Speaker 1: a mission to blank the US and to help UM

2896
02:10:36,440 --> 02:10:40,880
Speaker 1: people without homes feel known, be loved and have that blanket. Uh.

2897
02:10:40,920 --> 02:10:42,680
Speaker 1: As we close out here, Bob, you said something this

2898
02:10:42,760 --> 02:10:44,960
Speaker 1: morning as we had coffee that I think, is it

2899
02:10:45,040 --> 02:10:49,520
Speaker 1: really hits home for me? Um, because blankets are so

2900
02:10:49,640 --> 02:10:52,680
Speaker 1: much more uh than just a material item to have

2901
02:10:52,760 --> 02:10:55,160
Speaker 1: in the whole. Why was blankets and why has been

2902
02:10:55,200 --> 02:10:57,520
Speaker 1: blankets been so important to you? Yeah, we kind of

2903
02:10:57,560 --> 02:11:00,920
Speaker 1: hit the jackpaw with blankets just because blankets was or

2904
02:11:01,120 --> 02:11:05,040
Speaker 1: is a universal product. Everybody has blankets. Everybody deserves to

2905
02:11:05,160 --> 02:11:07,879
Speaker 1: have a blanket, and blankets are an item of dignity

2906
02:11:07,880 --> 02:11:12,600
Speaker 1: and comfort, you know. And and beyond that, ultimately, blankets

2907
02:11:12,640 --> 02:11:15,960
Speaker 1: have become a third party object that's connecting me with

2908
02:11:16,040 --> 02:11:19,960
Speaker 1: people that have incredible amount of resources and influence and

2909
02:11:20,120 --> 02:11:23,880
Speaker 1: companies that have influence, and connecting me with the organizations

2910
02:11:23,920 --> 02:11:26,280
Speaker 1: on a ground level that are showing up every single

2911
02:11:26,320 --> 02:11:28,480
Speaker 1: day and actually doing the work on a grassroots level.

2912
02:11:28,800 --> 02:11:31,120
Speaker 1: And I get to be the bridge builder. The blankets

2913
02:11:31,120 --> 02:11:34,200
Speaker 1: become the connector where I actually get to have conversations

2914
02:11:34,240 --> 02:11:36,760
Speaker 1: with these people that have resources and have a platform

2915
02:11:37,080 --> 02:11:39,920
Speaker 1: to bring exposure and resources to the people that actually

2916
02:11:39,920 --> 02:11:42,760
Speaker 1: need it right now. And the more that we focus

2917
02:11:42,800 --> 02:11:46,400
Speaker 1: on issues in our society and our media, the more

2918
02:11:46,440 --> 02:11:49,160
Speaker 1: issues we create, the more that we focus on solutions,

2919
02:11:49,480 --> 02:11:52,839
Speaker 1: the better society we create. And so the blankets ultimately

2920
02:11:52,840 --> 02:11:55,200
Speaker 1: are creating an opportunity for me to be able to

2921
02:11:55,280 --> 02:11:57,640
Speaker 1: use my platform and invite other people to use their

2922
02:11:57,680 --> 02:12:01,200
Speaker 1: platform to highlight solutions that are being created all around

2923
02:12:01,240 --> 02:12:03,960
Speaker 1: the United States, UM that are doing good work to

2924
02:12:04,000 --> 02:12:07,680
Speaker 1: help solve and UM bring some aid to the issue

2925
02:12:07,680 --> 02:12:11,800
Speaker 1: of homelessness. So in summer, here's what's happening October through

2926
02:12:13,200 --> 02:12:14,880
Speaker 1: UM and we'll probably let it run out a little

2927
02:12:14,920 --> 02:12:16,600
Speaker 1: bit longer. UM. So if you listen to this and

2928
02:12:16,600 --> 02:12:18,480
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, it's the thirty feet, it's okay. You

2929
02:12:18,520 --> 02:12:21,920
Speaker 1: can still play UM. Type in the code generous when

2930
02:12:21,920 --> 02:12:24,960
Speaker 1: you purchase a blanket online at sackcloth nash dot com.

2931
02:12:25,320 --> 02:12:28,400
Speaker 1: With that, your local homeless shelter will receive a blanket.

2932
02:12:29,320 --> 02:12:32,840
Speaker 1: Along with you will receive a bag of Generous coffee,

2933
02:12:33,600 --> 02:12:35,280
Speaker 1: and then the l A mission is going to receive

2934
02:12:35,320 --> 02:12:41,360
Speaker 1: twenty five of the proceeds from this campaign. We've talked

2935
02:12:41,360 --> 02:12:43,160
Speaker 1: about it before and I want to say it again.

2936
02:12:43,360 --> 02:12:46,200
Speaker 1: The only heroes in this are the consumers, and so

2937
02:12:46,280 --> 02:12:49,600
Speaker 1: you have to purchase to make this campaign successful. Uh,

2938
02:12:49,680 --> 02:12:53,120
Speaker 1: it's the holiday season. These are great holiday gifts. Um.

2939
02:12:53,200 --> 02:12:55,960
Speaker 1: We're excited to be doing this together. And thank you

2940
02:12:56,000 --> 02:12:57,760
Speaker 1: to I Heartful Attingness come on and talk about it

2941
02:12:57,800 --> 02:13:00,000
Speaker 1: and also thinks that I heard for helping set up

2942
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Speaker 1: kind of the press tour today. It's been a great

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Speaker 1: partner with people like Bob and his team of sack

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Speaker 1: that's sack Cloth Nash's dot com typing the code generous.

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Speaker 1: Follow the Bennon Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart

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Speaker 1: Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.