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Speaker 1: I bought my wife a fristia, and now she thinks

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Speaker 1: I don't love her anymore. You know, I think that's

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Speaker 1: totally fair. It depends on the kind of bra, right.

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Speaker 1: If it's like a sexy, sexy bra, it's like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that's great. What if it's like a like

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Speaker 1: a medical bra. I don't know what a medical bra

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Speaker 1: looks like. I'm not a very broad. Trash bags, ye,

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Speaker 1: trash bags, and you gotta cover you gotta cover those.

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Speaker 1: I really actually don't think I've done anything wrong. My

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Speaker 1: wife disagrees. First f up there right there, baby. If

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Speaker 1: you think you haven't done anything wrong and your wife does,

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Speaker 1: you are wrong.

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Speaker 2: Burn all right.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, all summer, my wife has been complaining about her

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Speaker 1: sweaty tits.

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Speaker 2: Come on, they be dripping, they'd be dripping. It's like

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Speaker 2: but also it's like hard.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, if you've got a flap over

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Speaker 1: a skin, yep, it's like, bro, my ass sweats exactly,

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Speaker 1: I get it. I mean, imagine having asses on your chest, dude,

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Speaker 1: and it drips down at least the ass drips down

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Speaker 1: like only it can only drip down to your feet.

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Speaker 1: This this trips down like you're you're covered back in front.

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Speaker 3: Also, it's worse because like my ass isn't fat enough

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Speaker 3: to be just like drooping down stump truck I have.

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Speaker 3: I have more like a like a Prius Prius. If

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Speaker 3: we're talking vehicles, I've got an econo.

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Speaker 1: No, no, you got the most efficient ass Anyway. All

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Speaker 1: summer she's been complaining about these sweaty tits, how she's

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Speaker 1: ruining all her good bras with this chest sweat. She's

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Speaker 1: paranoid about her under boom, sweat lines, et cetera, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: It's like Niagara falls over there. It's just gushion. Now,

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Speaker 1: this isn't my first rodeo, so I stuck to just

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Speaker 1: sympathetically listening and nodding at the appropriate times. Yes, that

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Speaker 1: sounds terrible. Chest sweat awful. No comments that could be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as me criticizing her breasts or her sweatiness anything

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Speaker 1: like that. She's not even more sweaty than the average person.

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Speaker 1: She just has massive fire trucks, geese, they're incredible. Of

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Speaker 1: all those freaking that scared, I'm not gonna lie. I

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Speaker 1: kind of need to know how big.

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Speaker 2: Started. We went from Prius.

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Speaker 1: To fire truck over gotta turn bigger than a dump truck,

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Speaker 1: that huge, bro. Yeah, and absolutely no way in hell

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Speaker 1: was I going to solve her problems. Only a husband

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Speaker 1: who's an idiotic massochists would do that, right blow exactly.

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Speaker 2: Essential.

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Speaker 1: Yeahs sexual dude, I think I think that might lead

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Speaker 1: to some bedroom time.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: Also, as any man knows who's had a girlfriend for

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Speaker 1: long enough, sometimes they just want you to listen. You

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Speaker 1: don't want that. They don't want their problem solved. They

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Speaker 1: want to keep the same problems. But just have you

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Speaker 1: listened about those problems? Exactly open tip, hot tip. But

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Speaker 1: then last week I got an email from the company

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Speaker 1: she buys her period pants from. Why op subscribe to

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Speaker 1: this company emails? I do not know, but you got

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Speaker 1: an email and each newsletter sign up gets money off

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Speaker 1: their order. So a while back she had signed up

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Speaker 1: using my email address to get an extra promo code.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a menstrual product, fetish or anything, I swear.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for the clarification, very helpful.

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Speaker 1: I was where you're like into that, like you know

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Speaker 1: that like like Japanese used panty market kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you could buy them from vending machines over there. God,

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Speaker 1: don't look at my collection.

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Speaker 2: It's my collection. Okay. So anyway, the subject line caught

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Speaker 2: my eye.

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Speaker 1: The sweat proof bra a match made in a leak

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Speaker 1: proof boob heaven.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm freaking clicking on that email. Damn. I

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Speaker 2: will never have clicked on anything faster than that.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I dude, I mean even even just for

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Speaker 1: my titties. Like, dude, can I bro Our titties are like, yo,

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Speaker 1: you want to see these titties we have.

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Speaker 2: We have hot hot wheels. Look at that titty.

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Speaker 3: We went it from fire truck dump truck prius to

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Speaker 3: hot wheels.

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Speaker 1: Those are or no, we got we got hot wheel today.

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Speaker 1: They're still hot, but they're tiny. Yes, obviously, any sane

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Speaker 1: person would delete the email, but as I said, I'm

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Speaker 1: an idiotic masochist. Plus, the email said this bra would

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Speaker 1: be my wife's new best friend. Actually no, I didn't

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Speaker 1: say new best friend. It said new breast friend you

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Speaker 1: got for days? Baby?

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Speaker 2: Who was I to keep her from her breast friend?

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Speaker 1: Now? You know you aren't anyone to keep them from

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Speaker 1: a breast friends act. So I checked out the sizes

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Speaker 1: of her other bras and then placed an order, thinking

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Speaker 1: I was going to be a husband of the year

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Speaker 1: over here. It arrived an hour or so ago. I

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Speaker 1: knew what it would be, so I handed it her unopened.

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Speaker 2: Here, babe, this is for you, for your big old

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Speaker 2: fu truck. Oh what is it? It's a broad babe.

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Speaker 1: At this point I see a glint in her eyes

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Speaker 1: and I realize my mistake. Sure enough, instead of what

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Speaker 1: she was expecting, which was sexy lingerie, that's what she

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Speaker 1: was hoping for, she pulls out these large, beige, utilitarian.

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Speaker 2: Looking sweatproof bra. Well, I'm sure you.

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Speaker 1: Can imagine how it went from there, and my foolish

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Speaker 1: muttering of but but the ad said it would be

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Speaker 1: your new breast friend. It didn't help the matters because

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Speaker 1: apparently I'm the only sweaty tit here.

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Speaker 2: She's like, you don't find me sexy anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'll have you know, those sweaty breast fed and nourished

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Speaker 1: our children by you getting even.

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Speaker 2: Look at me.

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Speaker 1: Oh this is way too and just what exactly am

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Speaker 1: I getting out anyway? Am I trying to say that

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Speaker 1: she has saggy boobs, that she needs a new bra,

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Speaker 1: a more supportive one for aging sandbags.

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Speaker 2: Dude, she's hurt. She's hurt, made a huge mistake.

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Speaker 1: This is just like me trying to solve a problem

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Speaker 1: rather than let her vent. But you know what needs venting, John,

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Speaker 1: those freaking fire truck titties.

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Speaker 3: Read baby, and you know it's so tragic. Literally listening

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Speaker 3: up to the point where after she opened the package,

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Speaker 3: I was racking my brain thinking what did he do wrong?

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Speaker 2: Like I still I thought he was a great husband,

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Speaker 2: but I.

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Speaker 3: Knew going into the story from a title that it

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Speaker 3: was going to turn out bad. Yeah, my tiny reptilian

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Speaker 3: fucking peanut brain just could not comprehend.

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Speaker 2: You're an idiot. You're an idiot.

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Speaker 1: I need to get a fire truck brain, fire truck brain, dude,

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Speaker 1: for those fire truck titties. So, yeah, that went well.

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Speaker 1: She has taking the kids to a swimming lesson and

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Speaker 1: then for ice cream. So I have two hours of

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Speaker 1: salvage things. Maybe I buy some crotchless pants. Maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: I have a curveball for him. Curveball what he gets

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Speaker 1: his own big tits ah and then wears them from

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Speaker 1: the dude, Just eat, dude, you got to eat that

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Speaker 1: ice cream. Grow some titties, wear the bra, get some

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Speaker 1: use out of that ship, bro, or better yet, have

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Speaker 1: a threesome with your wife then she'll feel sexy again.

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Speaker 1: A threesome, yeah, but it has to be a two

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Speaker 1: dudes three so she's like, right, right, right, two girl threesome.

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Speaker 1: That would be too fun for him.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, it has to be like or

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Speaker 2: or what about ten dudes? I mean, what a train ride?

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Speaker 2: Forget the fire truck, let's run the train.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, well, I just don't understand why we need

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Speaker 3: to Why limit ourselves?

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Speaker 1: You know, you're not about limiting. We're not about empowering

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Speaker 1: men and women to live their sexiest sake.

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Speaker 3: Exactly if if ten dudes want to uh run your

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Speaker 3: guy's wife's fire fire truck titties, who truly, who am

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Speaker 3: I to stop them?

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Speaker 2: You are not? Who am I? No one