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Speaker 1: This is a headgum podcast. Okay, I mean, Andy, we

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Speaker 1: already sort of got into it. I think that being

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Speaker 1: a parent is quite a journey, and so I'm excited

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Speaker 1: to talk to all the dads.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited to talk to you.

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Speaker 3: I'm very excited to talk to you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to well, it seems like a lack

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Speaker 3: of humility to even have children is to start with,

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Speaker 3: and then to presume that I can give advice to anyone.

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Speaker 3: Uh is It's just I feel insane, But I'm going

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Speaker 3: for it, and I'm just I'm going to embrace it.

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Speaker 1: You said yes, dress, and I'm so glad that you didn't.

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Speaker 1: The dress is being on this podcast, and you knew

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Speaker 1: I was going to end the podcast asking you for advice.

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Speaker 1: And here's the thing, Andy, given that you say it

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Speaker 1: is a lack of humility to have children.

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Speaker 3: It really is.

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Speaker 1: And moreover, furthermore, lack of humility to think you could

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Speaker 1: give advice yet having had children many moons ago, you

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Speaker 1: still said yes. So is it fair to call you

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Speaker 1: a cocky motherfucker?

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Speaker 3: I guess that's right. I truly believe, on some level

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Speaker 3: in my lizard brain, I believe I can do anything.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's right.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's got me into a lot of trouble, that's

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Ooh, legal, oh, legal trouble. Yeah, but

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Speaker 3: I shouldn't talk about things like that. I've made mistakes. Sure,

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Speaker 3: I've made a mistakes.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if I can get you to confess to

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Speaker 1: a crime on this podcast.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you could. You know, I've confessed. Weirdly enough, I've

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Speaker 3: confessed to this particular crime before on podcasts and it

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Speaker 3: gets edited out.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm we're keeping it in. I want to hear

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Speaker 2: what it is.

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Speaker 3: Okay, here's what I will say. And this is one

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Speaker 3: of the reasons that I have a seventeen year old now,

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Speaker 3: and I'm so terrified of people in this age range.

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Speaker 3: After I graduated college, I had a car and I

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Speaker 3: had a job at a place that served alcohol, and

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Speaker 3: I would get fairly inebriated.

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Speaker 1: I see other people. I see why they're edding it out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I see where I editing this out. Okay, yep, it

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Speaker 1: should be able to out.

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Speaker 2: But keep going.

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Speaker 3: And then I would and then I would say to myself,

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Speaker 3: I am good at this. I am good at being

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Speaker 3: fairly inebriated and driving myself home. Now and you were seventeen, right,

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, this was after college, so I'm twenty two.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you're twenty two.

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Speaker 3: It's just an example of the sort of thing that

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Speaker 3: sometimes you do need to recognize limitations, even if it

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Speaker 3: really seems like you're good. You're pretty good at something.

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Speaker 1: Okay, But Mike Maya asked, were did andy? Well, did

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Speaker 1: you have to face the law or you just kind

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Speaker 1: of got away?

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Speaker 3: I never did, And in some ways, no, I'm glad.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad I never faced the law. But it's I

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Speaker 3: look back on that time and I just say, oh,

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Speaker 3: I almost wait, something had stopped me sooner. Like everything

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Speaker 3: worked out fine in the end. No one was ever hurt,

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Speaker 3: that was ever significantly damaged, nobody, no legal consequences. But

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Speaker 3: but I look back on that and just say, why

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Speaker 3: how was I so stupid?

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Speaker 1: Youth is youth? You feel invincible as a young person, yes,

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Speaker 1: and well into your thirties, I feel. But that said, yes,

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Speaker 1: what's your official statement on driving while inebriated? Maybe this

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Speaker 1: will this soul, this will absolve you.

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Speaker 3: Never do it, never, not even even the littlest bit

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Speaker 3: particularly nowadays with ride shares, like whatever, leave your car,

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Speaker 3: you'll find it sometime.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I love that. That is great advice for you, Dad. Okay,

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Speaker 1: great advice from you, Dad. I'm going to do my

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Speaker 1: little intro and we do everything out of order here.

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Speaker 1: That's chaos, guys. Hi, Hello, Hello.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ago Odem and welcome to thanks Dad.

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Speaker 1: I was raised by a single mom, and I don't

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Speaker 1: have relationship with my dad.

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Speaker 2: Spoiler alert, he's also dead. Now.

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Speaker 1: Andy's laughing. He thinks it's funny. He has no sympathy

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Speaker 1: for me whatsoever. He's like this silly little girl and

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Speaker 1: her dead dad.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know he was.

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I know, you know. I didn't for

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Speaker 1: a little bit there either. I think I found out

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Speaker 1: eight weeks after, maybe anywhere from four to eight weeks after.

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Speaker 1: But it's okay, we didn't have a relationship, right, Why

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Speaker 1: would I be the first one alerting?

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Speaker 3: Well, so I'll just say it's very different to not

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Speaker 3: have a relationship with someone who's alive versus not having

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Speaker 3: a relationship with someone who's dead. Gonna talk more about that.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to you more about that, Guys,

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Speaker 1: You've seen my next guest on Veep, The Office, Blackish,

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Speaker 1: and Modern Family, just to name a few of his credits.

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Speaker 1: You've heard his voice on Rick and Morty, Bob's Burger's,

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Speaker 1: The Simpsons, and the list goes on and on. As

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Speaker 1: I previously suggested, he also hosts the Bananas for Bonanza podcast.

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Speaker 1: Bear in mind it is intentionally spelled wrong. It's intended

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Speaker 1: to confuse you. I'll stop there. Please welcome my dad

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Speaker 1: for the day, Andy Daily.

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Speaker 3: Hello, dear, it's good to talk with you.

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Speaker 1: It's wonderful to talk about. Oh my gosh, oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: I'm so thrilled. You're pure delight. Honestly, if I could

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Speaker 1: pick a dad, which I have and I do week

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Speaker 1: after a week, it'd be you.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so great and so yeah, this feels exciting

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Speaker 3: to me. It's like connecting with the child that I had,

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Speaker 3: you know, that I didn't know I was responsible for

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Speaker 3: as a seventeen year old. That's kind of you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean? Yes, And that's a fantasy. That's a

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Speaker 3: popular fantasy. There are a lot of movies about that,

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Speaker 3: about somebody discovering an adulthood that they have a child

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Speaker 3: and you sort of you got to skip the hard

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Speaker 3: part yep, and now this person comes into your life,

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Speaker 3: and right it's a thing.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of skipping the hard parts, I feel like as

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Speaker 1: an adult, people were like, are you going to pursue

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Speaker 1: a relationship with your dad? And I was like, he's

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Speaker 1: not exactly pursuing one with me, and the hard parts

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Speaker 1: are over. I feel like we're beyond the hard parts

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Speaker 1: and you get to slide in here where I'm this

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Speaker 1: fully formed woman who's such a vibe and now you

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Speaker 1: get to be my dad. I don't know, I don't know, man. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm glad it's you. You don't know what to

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Speaker 1: say to that, do you?

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Speaker 3: You're well, I'm just it's confusing because you really threw

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Speaker 3: me for a loop. When you reveal that he's dead.

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Speaker 3: That changes everything, It really does.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, you said a relationship. You said this

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Speaker 1: a relationship alive versus not having a relationship with someone

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Speaker 1: when they're dead is quite a difference.

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Speaker 2: What would you say that is in your mind?

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Speaker 3: Oh, just because it's impossible to have a relationship with

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Speaker 3: someone who's dead, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Or sure that can't be absolutely.

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Speaker 3: That's not an option. The other thing is an option,

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Speaker 3: you know, because.

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Speaker 1: Some people pray to their ancestors.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but it's not the same. I know

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Speaker 2: it's not the same.

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Speaker 3: Well I guess, I guess I have to be okay.

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Speaker 3: I suppose there is some version of someone that always

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Speaker 3: continues to exist in your head, whether they're with you

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Speaker 3: or not.

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Speaker 1: Right right, So yeah, yeah, well I will say it

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Speaker 1: what someone once communicated to me, because I kind of

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Speaker 1: expected that if my dad passed, I wouldn't really have

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Speaker 1: too much of a reaction because we didn't have a relationship.

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Speaker 1: My parents got divorced when I was a baby, and

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Speaker 1: someone had said to me, yeah, but you will care

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Speaker 1: because then the possibility of a relationship is no longer there.

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Speaker 1: And not to sound socio, but I didn't feel much

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Speaker 1: of anything, and I didn't feel like, oh darn, the

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Speaker 1: possibility's gone, because I wasn't abstaining from a relationship as

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Speaker 1: a means to punish or to send a message so

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Speaker 1: that I could get some alternative outcome.

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Speaker 2: Does that make sense.

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Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes people are because they're like trying

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Speaker 1: to prove a point, or because they are so upset

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Speaker 1: and angry. Understandably so and they're hoping the other person

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Speaker 1: will come around and be different. I think I didn't

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Speaker 1: have one, partially because I just from what I understood

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Speaker 1: my dad to be wasn't necessarily right for me.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah, it's great. It's interesting that there are

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Speaker 3: some people who grow up with truly no knowledge of

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Speaker 3: a biological parent or one or both, and those people

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Speaker 3: often seem very driven to find out who are those people?

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Speaker 3: Who were those people? How can I find them? And

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Speaker 3: they get into twenty three and meters and all that.

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Speaker 3: But your situation is different that you have you had

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Speaker 3: information about this person that made you say, Okay, that's

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Speaker 3: I know what I need to know. I don't have

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Speaker 3: to find anything out. And then yeah, so it takes

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Speaker 3: away the impetus to track him down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and I knew I know his family, I

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Speaker 1: know my cousins on my dad's side.

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Speaker 2: It's not some big mystery.

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Speaker 1: It's just we didn't have a relationship, and it was Frankly,

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Speaker 1: I know this is probably illegal to say, but it

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Speaker 1: was okay.

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Speaker 2: It was okay.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think it's I think it was okay.

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Speaker 1: I know it's not the story people want. It's not

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Speaker 1: the stories the movies told us.

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Speaker 2: But it is mine. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you guess it sounds like you definitely get

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Speaker 3: the feeling that it was okay with him. He wasn't

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Speaker 3: looking for you.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, you weren't chasing me down? Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: mean he did call me when I was eighteen once

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Speaker 1: I had moved to LA to USC where I went

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Speaker 1: to college, and it was sort of like give it,

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Speaker 1: kind of just gave me a lecture, and I go, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: imagine imagine getting lectured by a person.

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Speaker 2: You haven't talked to.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what's happening? I would take a different approach.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what exactly is going on here? So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was so confused by it, and then I think

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Speaker 1: he was also probably confused by my like you know,

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Speaker 1: my response to that was very like, well, if you

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Speaker 1: want to foster a relationship, I am open to that,

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Speaker 1: but whatever, this is not so much. And then that

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Speaker 1: deterred him. That was enough to deter him, and I go, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm doing these voices now, and I wonder

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Speaker 1: if it sounds like I'm being guarded or silly about it,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not. I'm earnestly like yeah, Okay, understood.

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Speaker 3: That's an amazing skill to have. But yeah, it sounds

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Speaker 3: like he was like, here it is on my terms.

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Speaker 3: Oh you have terms? No, thanks, I.

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Speaker 1: Didn't expect you last I remember you were four. You

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Speaker 1: don't expect a four year old have terms and conditions. Andy,

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Speaker 1: I'm so so glad you're here. Enough about me for now,

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Speaker 1: I'm excited.

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Speaker 2: You presumably have a dad, right, I have a dad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 2: Okay, my dad.

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Speaker 3: He's going to be eighty next month.

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Speaker 1: Whoo wow, happy birthday, early birthday to your dad. He's

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Speaker 1: lived a life. Are you guys close?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I see my dad, well, not geographically close.

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Speaker 3: I grew up up in New Jersey and my parents

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Speaker 3: still live in the house that they moved to in

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Speaker 3: nineteen eighty, so they're still there, But I live in

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Speaker 3: Los Angeles now, and so I see them. We go

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Speaker 3: out there every Christmas time, and in the summer, we

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Speaker 3: take a trip out there for a big family reunion

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Speaker 3: annually in May, and then they usually come out here

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Speaker 3: once a year for a week.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's sweeten.

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Speaker 2: Are you on the phone a lot with them at all?

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Speaker 3: Or is it with them a lot? You know what?

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Speaker 3: Actually speaking of boundaries. When I was shortly after I

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Speaker 3: moved out of the house, my dad started calling me

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Speaker 3: every Sunday. And I remember that he had a conversation

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Speaker 3: with his parents. When I was growing up, he spoke

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Speaker 3: with his parents on the phone every Sunday and wrapped

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Speaker 3: it up in time for sixty minutes, and that was

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Speaker 3: the routine. And he started doing that with me every Sunday.

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Speaker 3: And I just felt like, I'm not enjoying this, like

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Speaker 3: something about it, like I would rather have a I'll

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Speaker 3: call you when something's going on relationship rather than a

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Speaker 3: weekly appointment on the phone. So I said that, and

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Speaker 3: that felt to me like a big deal at the time,

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Speaker 3: because he had this very rigid idea in his head

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Speaker 3: that Sunday you speak with your parents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, something about yeah, something about that feels like very dutiful,

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Speaker 1: which is not necessarily how you want your relationship with

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Speaker 1: your parents to feel, right, Yeah, that's not how it

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Speaker 1: should necessarily feel either.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, because he said at the time, he

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Speaker 3: was like, yeah, but then you forget if you only

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Speaker 3: call when something you have something to say, I feel

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Speaker 3: like we'll hear from you less. And I was like, yeah, well,

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Speaker 3: and that has turned out to be exactly.

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Speaker 2: Right, exactly right.

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Speaker 1: So now, how how often are we on the phone

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Speaker 1: if you had to? Okay, we're talking calling right before

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Speaker 1: that Christmas trip and right before that summer trip to

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Speaker 1: let him know you're on your way.

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Speaker 3: That kind of thing. We're texting, we're texting, we're emailing.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: Your dad's a texter.

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Speaker 3: Yes, he's not as good about it as my mom.

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Speaker 3: He texts out of the blue, strange things, strange observations.

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Speaker 2: Such as, can you eat any anything juicy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Still?

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Speaker 3: Okay, Yes, he just texted me that he was doing

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Speaker 3: something with his lawnmower or something like that, and there

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Speaker 3: was a piece that he needed and he went on

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Speaker 3: Amazon to order it and it arrived the same day.

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Speaker 2: So he was stunned.

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Speaker 3: This was Yeah, this was a group text to me

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Speaker 3: and my brothers and our wives and just amazing. This

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Speaker 3: service is amazing. It got here the same day.

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Speaker 1: It was just like, okay, well, was what was your

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Speaker 1: actual response to that when you saw that text? Truly?

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Speaker 2: What's the first thing you thought?

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Speaker 3: I had no response, and then my older brother left

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Speaker 3: him on red I did, and then my older brother

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Speaker 3: got in there and sayds, and he often does this.

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Speaker 3: He beats me too, like the what's the word? The

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Speaker 3: anadyne kind of wow, incredible, great, you know, and then

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh that one got taken that good? The

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Speaker 3: simple wow is God can't use it?

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Speaker 2: Tell her?

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Speaker 1: I mean, And then it causes you to kind of

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Speaker 1: be paralyzed and just go did you respond at all?

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Speaker 3: I did? Actually, it made me put more thought into it,

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Speaker 3: and so I responded saying, yeah, the same day delivery

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Speaker 3: from Amazon option hasn't appeared quite as often for me lately,

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Speaker 3: but yes, it is incredible.

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Speaker 1: I love the acknowledgment. Then I appreciate that you had

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Speaker 1: something to say, I really do. I've heard this concept

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Speaker 1: that in relationship sometimes the way relationships deteriorate is because

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Speaker 1: one partner or another or both are making these little

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Speaker 1: bids for attention and the smallest thing. I think your

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Speaker 1: dad's text could be deemed bids for attention and bids

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Speaker 1: to connect, like bids to like can we connect in

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Speaker 1: this moment? And that's nice that you respond in my

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Speaker 1: humble opinion, humble.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I I wish that. As soon as I read

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Speaker 3: the text. Well, they're in the East Coast too, so

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Speaker 3: often I wake up to texts from my family. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I'm bleary eyed, and I can't. I just kind

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Speaker 3: of go, I can't. I don't have an answer to

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Speaker 3: this right now. Yes, yes, yes, hours go by and

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Speaker 3: it's a problem.

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Speaker 1: That's the time difference thing in text messages is a

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Speaker 1: big we need.

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Speaker 2: To talk about this is it action we do?

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Speaker 1: You know, because I have a lot of friends on

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Speaker 1: the West Coast in LA I lived there before I

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Speaker 1: moved to New York for SNL, and those friends will

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Speaker 1: text me at like ten pm their time. That's not

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Speaker 1: so late, but I might be asleep over here because

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Speaker 1: that's one am East Coast time. Now I will wake

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Speaker 1: up and I'll see that text message at eight am,

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Speaker 1: and I go, it's too early for me to respond

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Speaker 1: to this quite And also I know it's now five

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Speaker 1: am on the West Coast. And then I don't respond,

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Speaker 1: and then I totally forget to respond.

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Speaker 3: It's a problem.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going, Oh, this isn't the right time to

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Speaker 1: be sending them a text.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a problem.

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Speaker 3: I operate on this assumption, which may be very faulty,

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Speaker 3: that if I send you a text message when you're

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Speaker 3: likely to be sleeping. I might there's a good chance

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Speaker 3: I'm going to wake you up, But if I send

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Speaker 3: you an email when you're likely to be sleeping, I

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Speaker 3: won't wake you up. Yes, ye, that's true. I don't

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Speaker 3: know if that's true.

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Speaker 1: I have the same theory. I just told someone I'm

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Speaker 1: working with who lives in Ohio. I said, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to email you tomorrow Monday, because i think I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be up really early East Coast time. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: really early, and it'll be a little earlier for you,

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Speaker 1: but still just kind of inappropriate any way to try

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Speaker 1: to wake someone. And I was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: email you instead of texting you because I would hate

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Speaker 1: to wake you. And he was like, you're not going

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Speaker 1: to wake me, so you could text, But in my mind,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, an email I probably won't wake you.

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Speaker 2: Here's a little secret. My phone is on silent.

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Speaker 1: It's maybe not a secret, but my phone is on

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Speaker 1: silent at all times. It does not vibrate, it does

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Speaker 1: not make any noise. It does not even alert me

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Speaker 1: that I've received a text message. I have to go

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Speaker 1: in my text messages to see that I have text

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Speaker 1: messages because that little red dot gives me anxiety, and

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Speaker 1: so friends will be like, I didn't text you because

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to wake and I go, I need

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Speaker 1: you to get it through your beautiful head. You could

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Speaker 1: never wake me up. You could never wake me up.

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Speaker 1: I don't even use do not disturb for that reason.

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Speaker 1: I'll use it if I have a zoom. But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: no one can ever disrupt I.

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Speaker 3: Think anybody that is in your context. We all need

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Speaker 3: to just have a whole thing of like what is

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Speaker 3: your policy? What are you doing? When can I text you?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: It should be like a section in the context part.

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Speaker 1: So like if I put Andy daily in my context,

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Speaker 1: I go, I can reference in the notes section, this

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Speaker 1: is Andy's policy on when he can be texted and

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Speaker 1: when he's awake. What would be disruptive to him? Your

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Speaker 1: preferred mode of communication because mine is FaceTime, Mine's FaceTime.

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Speaker 2: How do you feel about face times?

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Speaker 3: Uh? No, no, okay, all right, understood, Okay, what is

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Speaker 3: it about?

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Speaker 2: Just feels intrusive to have to hold.

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Speaker 3: It away like that to keep myself in the frame.

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Speaker 3: It's just it's too much work.

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Speaker 1: Anytime I face time, a friend who I can tell

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Speaker 1: doesn't like it, but is trying to appease me. I

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Speaker 1: can see in the way they're sort of like jittery

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Speaker 1: about where the phone is and what angle and where

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Speaker 1: to rest their arm. I'm like, oh, they're hating this.

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00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 1: They're not telling me, but they're hating this. And I

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Speaker 1: have all my methods for being comfortable. Prop it up

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Speaker 1: on a water bottle, like lean it against a water bottle.

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Speaker 3: But you're prepared. It's very differently. An outgoing FaceTime call

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Speaker 3: is so different from an incoming FaceTime. An incoming FaceTime call,

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Speaker 3: it's like, what now, what's going on television? Suddenly?

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Speaker 1: Would your dad FaceTime? No, it sounds like you're not

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Speaker 1: a FaceTime family.

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Speaker 3: No, but he'll make an appointment to you know, during

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Speaker 3: the whole pandemic, we did appointment zoom appointments.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, we.

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Speaker 3: Did that, so beautiful. That'll but that has tapered off.

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Speaker 3: We're not doing that now.

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Speaker 1: Given the way you're describing him with the appointments, the

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Speaker 1: phone call appointments with his own parents and the zoom

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Speaker 1: appointments with you, would you describe him as super organized type.

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Speaker 3: A Oh, yes, very much so okay, yes, okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he's very serious, very serious about the departure time from

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Speaker 3: the house for okay, to get to someplace on time. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he likes to be He's one of these guys. He

401
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 3: likes to be at the airport way before the flight.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

403
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Speaker 2: See he and I are oil and water. I do not.

404
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 1: I like to arrive to the airport as my flight

405
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 1: is boarding.

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Speaker 2: Oh I want to arrive.

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Speaker 1: Really, the ideal time is fifteen minutes before my flight boards,

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Speaker 1: enough time to get through security. I have tsa pre check,

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Speaker 1: I got digital ID, and I want to walk from

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Speaker 1: security onto the plane.

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Speaker 2: Those are That's how I moved.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we wouldn't be able to travel together your dad

413
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Speaker 1: in no.

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00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 3: In fact, he and I we were both going someplace

415
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: and we were waiting for the car to take us someplace.

416
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 3: And I looked up on the GPS that the place

417
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 3: we were going was ten minutes away, and this was

418
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Speaker 3: like twenty five minutes before we had to be there,

419
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Speaker 3: and we're just waiting for a car that's probably going

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Speaker 3: to come in the next five minutes. And I said, oh,

421
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 3: we're in good shape, and my dad said, no, we're not. Actually,

422
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Speaker 3: what do you mean.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean we are in good shape?

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Speaker 3: Shape.

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Speaker 2: What kind of work did he do?

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Speaker 3: Well? Funny enough, he was when I was very young,

427
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 3: he worked for the phone company when there was one

428
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 3: phone company, doing some management me. And then he worked

429
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 3: for eighteen Toll Atlantic?

430
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Speaker 2: Was it Bell Atlantic?

431
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 3: I was, Oh, maybe it was just Bell Telephone.

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Speaker 1: I think it was Okay, okay, because I think maybe

433
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: they merged or something.

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00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 3: Anyway, go well, in the mid eighties the government split

435
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 3: up the phone company into AT and T and Bell

436
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 3: all this stuff, so he went toward braking. But anyway,

437
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 3: the part that I was saying was ironic is that

438
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Speaker 3: he's from the mid eighties to his retirement fifteen years ago,

439
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 3: he was a salesman of video teleconferencing equipment.

440
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: Okay, jaws on the ground because I'm like, are we

441
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: talking Zoom before Zoom?

442
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: Yes, So this was like, okay, nineteen eighty five, you

443
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 3: would have a way of video conferencing in a conference

444
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 3: room to some other place that has the same equipment.

445
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 3: And it was very rude of it.

446
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, it was very really.

447
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: This is fascinating truly to me because in my mind

448
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 1: Skype was a thing before Zoom, but they somehow fumbled

449
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: the ball and then Zoom took over during the pandemic,

450
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 1: and that was in my mind the skype was sort

451
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 1: of among the.

452
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: First of its kind.

453
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: But that's not true because this sounds like your dad

454
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 1: was on a pioneer to this.

455
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 2: Yes he was, okay and okay.

456
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 3: He put a lot of them in like courthouses so

457
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: they can arrang people from the county jail without bringing

458
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 3: them to the courthouse, like weird.

459
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 2: Oh stuff like that.

460
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: You kind of want the person to be present to

461
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: get ra if they're getting arraigned, right, I would.

462
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 3: Think so, But there's some there's some reasons that you

463
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 3: want a video link from the court to the jail.

464
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 3: I don't know why, some circumstances. Oh, you know what. Else,

465
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: he was very busy after nine to eleven, when every

466
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 3: municipality got all this money to set up like an

467
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 3: underground emergency response bunker. He sold a lot of video

468
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 3: teleconferencing equipment during this.

469
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: Really business was booming. Business was booming for him the

470
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: height of his career.

471
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 3: Every little town had like a nerve center under the

472
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 3: city hall emergency response the.

473
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: Things you learned, Okay, wait, is this something he was

474
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: passionate about?

475
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 3: He maybe he really he had a lot of pride

476
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 3: in being a good salesman, yes, okay, and in being

477
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 3: a real expert in the subject matter. In fact, he

478
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 3: published a book on the subject matter called we have

479
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 3: to Start Meeting like.

480
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 1: This and I love Okay, did you read the book?

481
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: You know, I'm not sure. I definitely thumbed through it.

482
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 3: It's on my bookshelf somewhere. For sure.

483
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: You have the book. You've skimmed the pages. The content

484
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 1: is not alluring to you, Is that accurate?

485
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 3: It's quite technical. It's quite technical.

486
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 1: So he was very passionate about being a good salesman.

487
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: Does he ever impart any of that wisdom in terms

488
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 1: of being a good salesman to you and what it entails?

489
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: Well, he definitely, okay. He's a real hustler, a real

490
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 3: go getter. There was a period of time when he

491
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 3: was out of work. He was between jobs for a

492
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 3: period of time, and he would wake up earlier than

493
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 3: if he had a job and go down to his

494
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 3: desk and he would be working the phones and making connections.

495
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 3: And that's when actually when he wrote the book. So,

496
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 3: when I graduated college to become with the intention of

497
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,439
Speaker 3: becoming an actor, he number one brought me to the

498
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 3: to the men's warehouse to buy me a suit for

499
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 3: job interviews.

500
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like, for acting auditions.

501
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 3: No, he's thinking job interviews. He's thinking, you know.

502
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: Really wait, so he knew you wanted to be an actor,

503
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: but he's like was He kind of like, okay, very cute,

504
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: but what you're going to do, young man, is you're

505
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: going to have to go on job interviews. He kind

506
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: of treated it as like that's a hobby. You're going

507
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: to get into business as a man? Yes, yes, okay, yes, okay.

508
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 3: In fact, he would tell me. He would say things

509
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 3: to me like, you know, when I worked at EIGHTE

510
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 3: and T, there was a guy he actually did quite

511
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: a few plays and he had a regular job at

512
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 3: AIGHTE and T. So that's an option. Interesting, all right,

513
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 3: all right.

514
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: Okay, so when user we have to be meeting like this,

515
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 1: just do you know what the premise was?

516
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 2: Was it like, on we need to be meeting on video?

517
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, that was the idea.

518
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, got it. He really was a pie. This

519
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 1: is incredible because he's right because here we are on video.

520
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 3: That's right, you and I we are.

521
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: I mean, he did know some things, but he sounds

522
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: like he didn't know much about your pursuit of acting.

523
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 3: Really no, And I have a hard time knowing whether

524
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 3: how much to judge that, because sure, well, okay, here's

525
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 3: what I've arrived at, and now I'm getting into a

526
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: little bit of advice, uh I have. I would say

527
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: that if there's something that your child is passionate about pursuing,

528
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 3: and you think, like, particularly if it's show business or

529
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 3: even if it's sports, something that seems like that's a

530
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 3: long shot, and that's how you feel about it, there

531
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 3: is no point whatsoever in being discouraging, because the pursuit

532
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: itself will discourage them, you know what I mean.

533
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 2: She's a really great point, Andy, put that on. Put

534
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 2: that in a book you need to write.

535
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,719
Speaker 3: Show business will talk you out of doing show business.

536
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

537
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: If you've ever talked to an actor who is trying

538
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: to make it, trying to get that first job, trying

539
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: to make rent this month, you will know that everything

540
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 1: inside of them, besides some tiny little voices like yeah,

541
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 1: you don't got what it takes and this isn't going

542
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 1: to happen.

543
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah.

544
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,439
Speaker 3: So your role, I think as a parent is just

545
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: to say, great, how can I help, you know, but

546
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 3: my parents, like nobody in our family ever did anything

547
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 3: like that. My dad, I believe my dad was the

548
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 3: first person in his family to go to college and

549
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 3: he got, you know, he got a respectable job, a

550
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 3: management job, and I think in his mind the intergenerational

551
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 3: upward mobility would have led to lawyers and doctors and

552
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 3: stuff like that. Right, not, I would like to follow

553
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 3: David Letterman's path and beat him, which was what I

554
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 3: told him.

555
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 2: Which, Oh, how did he react to that when you

556
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 2: told him that?

557
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 3: Well, actually, that's a memorable conversation because I had read

558
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 3: an unauthorized biograph of David Letterman where it said that

559
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 3: he went to college and studied television and radio. And

560
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 3: so I said to my dad, Hey, I heard about

561
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 3: this major television in radio, and it feels like, for

562
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 3: the first time in my life, I can imagine myself

563
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 3: going to college if you can major in television. And

564
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,640
Speaker 3: he was so happy.

565
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Oh, he was happy because because you were

566
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: thinking about not going to college or that was kind

567
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: of your vibe.

568
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 3: Was not able to imagine myself going to college. So

569
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 3: this was like, Okay, this gets us the bachelor's degree.

570
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 3: Then after that I'll buy him the suit and he'll

571
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: go on top interviews. Yes, yes, we're on our way.

572
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: I also want to say to your point, you know,

573
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: the notion that you're like your dad's perspective informing how

574
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: he was responding to what it is you said you

575
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: wanted to do, you have some grace for it. It

576
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: sounds like. And I also want to say, as a

577
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 1: person whose family wanted me to be a doctor because

578
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: that's just what they knew, I think some people I

579
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 1: get interviewed from time to time and people will go, oh, like,

580
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,239
Speaker 1: that's we were this supportive and that must be hard

581
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: because they didn't like jump at the idea of you

582
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: pursuing acting. But I'm like, I don't know nine times

583
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: out of ten and made that stat up. Guys, don't

584
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: quote me. I do feel like the parent's intention is good,

585
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: and I wasn't getting like no one was telling me

586
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: it wasn't going to happen for me. That's not a

587
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: thing anyone ever said to me. But it was sort

588
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: of like, uh, oh, what path is she going to

589
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: go down and how is it going to impact her?

590
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 1: Being on these really unstable journey that is the pursuit

591
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: of acting or career in entertainment, and so I think parents,

592
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: by I just have a lot of grace for it.

593
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: And I'm always like the inclination that it's like, oh,

594
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: mean parent that didn't go, oh, you want to be

595
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: an actor or you want to be an artist? Heck, yeah,

596
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: is a bad parent. I don't agree with that notion.

597
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 3: I guess I don't either, because I would say that

598
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 3: my parents did not believe that I could have a

599
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 3: career in this business, but not it. It wasn't personal.

600
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 3: It wasn't like they saw my performances and said, you know,

601
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 3: relative to the other kids and relative to what I

602
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 3: think it takes to do it, he doesn't have it.

603
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 3: It was more like, just it's so impossible. It's so competitive.

604
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: I don't know how you do it. I can't visualize it.

605
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 3: It's right, so many people try and fail. I don't

606
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 3: see it happening right.

607
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: There's nothing linear about it. And so you can't go, Okay, well,

608
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: if Andy does X, Y, and Z, it will produce one,

609
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: two three for him. That's just not how the industry works.

610
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: And if they can't wrap their head around it, of

611
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: course they're a little reticent to go Heck, heck, yeah,

612
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: you go down that path. And so to your point too,

613
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: that no one in your family had been in entertainment

614
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: before you, similar, that's my experience as well, and so like, yeah,

615
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: when you haven't experienced a thing or seen a thing

616
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: or seen it work out, or even begin to have

617
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: a concept of how it could work out, I feel

618
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: like that is a fairly reasonable response, if I may

619
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: say so, you know.

620
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 3: I think so. Yes. Yeah. Another thing my dad did

621
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 3: after buying me the suit that drove me crazy and

622
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: I had to put a stoph was that.

623
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: Was it just one suit? Andy?

624
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 3: It was one suite suit.

625
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: Okay, but it really peed you off?

626
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, No, I did wear it on auditions. It

627
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: did come in handy on commercial auditions.

628
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 2: Okay, good, okay, very good.

629
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 3: Okay. He also once he knew that I had a

630
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 3: commercial agent and that I was doing some things, he

631
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: would he would call me all the time and say

632
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 3: things like, what's that agent doing for you? Why don't

633
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 3: you call that a whyre's their office? Well, why don't

634
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 3: you go buy their office and tell them? What have

635
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: you done for me today? You know? What do you so?

636
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 3: Bringing a very business man's hustle to this world that

637
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 3: he doesn't know anything about, and it's hard to explain

638
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 3: to somebody like, no, if I just show up unannounced

639
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 3: at my agent's office and say, what have you done

640
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 3: for me this week? I'm done into business?

641
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: Yes you're done, and word, we'll get around.

642
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: Do not sign that guy.

643
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: Let me tell about how you used to come up

644
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: to our office huffing and puffing asking me to show receipt. Yeah, yeah,

645
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: you're right, it wouldn't have. Did you ever try telling

646
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: him that, like, it doesn't work that way, or would

647
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: you be like, oh, yeah, totally, dad, I'm gonna you know,

648
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that.

649
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 3: Somewhere in between I found I think I found some

650
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 3: way of just being like yeah, yeah, no, I don't know.

651
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 3: I might call him, Yeah, I'll call them soon. Yeah,

652
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 3: I don't know. Okay, just kind of let's move on.

653
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 3: So let's change the subject.

654
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 2: Where did you go to college?

655
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: Andy?

656
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 3: I went to Ithaca College in upstate.

657
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: Okay, upstate New York. Yes, and then you moved to

658
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: La How soon after college?

659
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 3: Well, first, because my parents lived in New Jersey, I

660
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: moved back in with them after college and commuted into

661
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: New York to do improv and sketch and stand up

662
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: and so, and then I moved into the city in

663
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 3: ninety four and lived in New York until two thousand

664
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,719
Speaker 3: and one. Then I was by coastal for a year

665
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: and a half, and then I've been full time in

666
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 3: LA since O two.

667
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 1: Okay, So, while you were like taking classes at in

668
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: New York City and doing improv and sketch, was it UCB, Well, No,

669
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: that wasn't around.

670
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, is that around usually? He came to town

671
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 3: in nineteen ninety six. I was one of the first

672
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: YEP students there, but I had already been in town

673
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 3: doing this company called Chicago City Limits that worked out

674
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 3: of a church originally on the Upper East Side.

675
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: I can only imagine the kind of blasphemy that was

676
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: going on during improv practice. I've been in improv practice.

677
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: I know the types of things that are said.

678
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 3: Yes, what you're right?

679
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: When you were in going to New York and commuting

680
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: and doing the classes, What was your relationship with your

681
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,479
Speaker 1: dad like at that time? Was he very invested in

682
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: that journey? Was he sort of like, oh Andy's hobby

683
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: and he's really loving this hobby or.

684
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that was the period when he was

685
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 3: just like you need to approach this like I would

686
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 3: approach getting a job as a salesman, you know, And yeah,

687
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: there was a lot Well what are you doing about this?

688
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 3: And why didn't you call that person? How about this connection?

689
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 3: You know that guy didn't he have a sister who

690
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 3: did this.

691
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: Or in that case, because he's like trying to wrap

692
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: his head around what you're doing. He's trying to apply

693
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: the way he operates in his industry to your industry

694
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: and your life. Did you feel supported?

695
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say so. I mean, I guess I

696
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 3: should now in retrospect, I should say that that was

697
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 3: a definitely a form of support. But the part of

698
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 3: it that at the time was most notable to me

699
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 3: was just like it's like you're assuming a degree of

700
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 3: expertise in an area that you don't know anything about.

701
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 3: And believe it or not, I've been in this world,

702
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 3: even just a little while, that I've been in this world,

703
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 3: and that I've been interested in this world, I have

704
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 3: some sense of how to how to do how often

705
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: you should appear in front of someone that you're hoping

706
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 3: will give you stage time, You know what I mean?

707
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: Like, yes, right, right?

708
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 3: That sometimes it's just smiling and being unobtrusive, and you know,

709
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 3: just a decent hang as opposed to, yes, a firm

710
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 3: salesman for yourself. You know, like I actually, yeah, I

711
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 3: have sense of what it's going to take for me

712
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 3: to move a little forward from this place that I am.

713
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 3: And I kind of I got it. I got this.

714
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 1: Yes, you might be an expert at what it is

715
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: you do and what you've experienced, but this thing over

716
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: here that you have really no concept of, I might

717
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: be a little more of an expert than you. And

718
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 1: I felt that too, even people giving me advice on

719
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: how to navigate SNL. And given how many years it's

720
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: been around, it is an institution unto itself. And every

721
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: once in a while someone will engage with me in

722
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: a way that they're like, well, surely it's got to

723
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: go this way.

724
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: Well I wouldn't it just worked this way? And I go,

725
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: and you should just and I go.

726
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: Trust that my being there gives me a level of

727
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: expertise or knowledge that you just would never be able

728
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: to begin to wrap your head around. And so, yeah,

729
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know, and that's okay.

730
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 3: I was once talking to a lawyer who works in

731
00:34:56,320 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 3: international content, not show business, and explaining the the screen

732
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 3: test situation, you know how, like, Okay, I've auditioned for

733
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 3: a TV show, they like me, they send me the

734
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 3: contract that locks me in to their rates for five

735
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 3: or six years, and then I go for my final audition.

736
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 3: And I was telling that to somebody and he was like, no, no, no, no, no,

737
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: that you've signed that contract under duress. It's unenforceable.

738
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 2: Imagine bringing that to the industry.

739
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: Imagine the next test you go to to screen test,

740
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: you go, I won't be signing this contract for I

741
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: feel diressed.

742
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, you would be out of a job.

743
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 1: So you just can't apply some of that stuff from

744
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: these other industries to this one.

745
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 2: And that's just a fact.

746
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to say, I have no idea about

747
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 3: what your world, how your world works.

748
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: Exactly, and I trust that you, being in it, know

749
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: a little, at least a tiny bit more than I do.

750
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: And so we're gonna defer to you a little. Now,

751
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: did your dad ever come to shows of yours when

752
00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: you were doing improv sketch?

753
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: She ever can watch you?

754
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 3: Yes? So when I Chicago City Limits was a review,

755
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 3: they had a playbill. They paid us a couple hundred

756
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,720
Speaker 3: dollars a week and it was song parodies and short

757
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 3: form improv of the whose line Is It any Way? Style?

758
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 3: And we did six shows a week on the Upper

759
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 3: East Side and we dressed in like shiny shirts and

760
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 3: ironed Chino's.

761
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 2: And okay, your dad would like this.

762
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 1: He had.

763
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 3: My parents loved this show. They came again and again.

764
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 3: They brought all their friends. It seemed like they were

765
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 3: making friends to bring them to this show. They had

766
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 3: a favorite restaurant that they would go to before each show,

767
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 3: and ye, so they love that. But then UCB came

768
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 3: to town and I was like, no, that's where it's at.

769
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: Oh, and we were not wearing suits and iron shirts.

770
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: No UCB, No, no, no.

771
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 3: They never understood the transition from Chicago City limits to

772
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: uc B.

773
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: What happened to that one nice theater? Yeah, you know,

774
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: everyone was dressed in business casual attire and now what

775
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: holes in your jeans and dirty sneakers? What's that about?

776
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 3: We're theds and jackets and the entrances and exits and

777
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 3: the piano player on the stage, what's what's happening? You're

778
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 3: just you're all you're all standing there, slouching on the

779
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 3: back wall and stepping forward, and what is this?

780
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 2: Some of it's not funny?

781
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: And what's going on? What's going on?

782
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 2: They never they didn't get it.

783
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: They didn't. And but then, were you two particularly close

784
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: during this period? If you're like, in retrospect, you maybe go,

785
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 1: this was his way of showing support by trying to

786
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: apply what he knows to what I'm doing. Did you

787
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 1: feel close to him at the time that you were

788
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: in pursuit of all this?

789
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 3: I don't. I know. I wouldn't say particularly, because it

790
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: truly was at the time it was just like, all right,

791
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 3: let me change the subject, because it was not We

792
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 3: were not bonding over his shared enthusiasm for my success.

793
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: What would you say at the time you felt like

794
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: your dad was this sounds so insensitive what I'm about

795
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 1: to say, but just for the sake of brevity, like

796
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: good for when you go, if you go, my mom's

797
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: really good at this thing relationally with me, What did

798
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: you feel like, well, my dad's really good.

799
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: At this thing relationally with me. What would you say?

800
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:28,320
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow, oh god, uh, I don't know. I don't

801
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: know how I would have answered that question. At that

802
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 3: time because I was not quite able to see his

803
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 3: efforts as well intentioned and as best as you could do.

804
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 3: So I don't know what I would have told you

805
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 3: at that time. What is he good for?

806
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing besides being a pioneer to Zoo. I mean,

807
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 1: the man sounds.

808
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 3: Smart, yeah, very smart.

809
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 2: What's something that you learned from him? Though?

810
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,959
Speaker 1: So if you feel like you can't quite answer that question,

811
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: is there anything that you would go even now in retrospect,

812
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: I did learn this watching you, and it's part of

813
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: who I am now and how I conduct myself.

814
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 3: Absolutely. The period of time that he was between jobs

815
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 3: and working out of the house is something like it's

816
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 3: burned into me permanently. That like, because I work out

817
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,439
Speaker 3: of the house most of the time, I'm usually I'm

818
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 3: always pretty much out of work, and I'm alway, no,

819
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 3: you know what.

820
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 1: I mean, somebody exactly exactly. I'm out of work from

821
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 1: May to September every year, and I'm honest exactly.

822
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I go between feeling like I'm semi retired

823
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 3: and I haven't quite gotten off the ground yet, you

824
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: know what I mean?

825
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: Right?

826
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: Same?

827
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: But I guess that doesn't change. Good to know, Yeah,

828
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: to know.

829
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 3: Okay, so, but but that spirit of like, uh, I'm awake,

830
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 3: it's a new day. I have a goal in mind,

831
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 3: and I'm everything that I do today is going to

832
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 3: be in service of that goal. Uh, and it's up

833
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 3: to me to do it.

834
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 2: Mm hm that's it again.

835
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: That's incredible and I do think very you. So it's

836
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: interesting for all considering all the kinds of advice he

837
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: would give you concerning how to show up as an

838
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: aspiring actor who was auditioning and put on a suit

839
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: and knock on an agent store and say what have

840
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: you done for me lately? It's interesting that just by

841
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 1: observing him, it seems you got this bit of wisdom

842
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: that is applicable to what you're doing now that is

843
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: quite unlike the industry he was in, and just going, oh,

844
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 1: look at me. Now, I'm working from home a lot,

845
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: and I need to self motivate and I need to

846
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 1: wrap my head around each day because it's very easy

847
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: if you're working from home to not do no work.

848
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 2: You could be busy all day and not be working.

849
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: Absolutely yeah, yea yeah, big, big time.

850
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,879
Speaker 3: I have an uncle who after he retired, he said,

851
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 3: if I have all day to make it to the

852
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 3: dry cleaner. It will take all day to make it

853
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: to the dry cleaner.

854
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: That's a very real thing.

855
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes I respond to one email some days and I go, oh.

856
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 2: Wow, you really e fing did it today?

857
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 3: Girl?

858
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: Held your own Well, that is fascinating. Your dad close

859
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: to your siblings, would you say, does anyone any of

860
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: your siblings have a closer relationship to him than you do?

861
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well, I would say both of my brothers still

862
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 3: live in New Jersey, and so they definitely see my

863
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 3: parents a lot more. And I think that they Yeah,

864
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 3: that makes a huge difference, just that they're like, my

865
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 3: older brother has kids, and so my parents are their grandparents,

866
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 3: and they go to every performance and every graduation and

867
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 3: every you know, and so it just puts you in

868
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: proximity for all kinds of conversations and discussions that I

869
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 3: am out of the loop on.

870
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, So do you feel like you want to be

871
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 1: closer and like geographically or emotionally, et cetera.

872
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I'm starting to feel that way now

873
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 3: now that they're they're getting older. It would be you know,

874
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 3: and I had I had a job in New Jersey

875
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 3: a couple of years ago, and so I said, don't

876
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 3: put me up in a hotel. I'll stay at my

877
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: parents house. And it was really interesting to be there

878
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 3: as like a fifty year old and to kind of

879
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,359
Speaker 3: feel like, hey, these I don't see how these two

880
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 3: function when I'm not here, like yeah, but in a

881
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 3: kind of a good way, like you know, yeah, I'll

882
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 3: go for a walk with my mom. She has a

883
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 3: lot that she needs to get off her chest to me,

884
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 3: and I don't know how she manages what I'm not here.

885
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. I have a friend. He goes home. I'm to

886
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 1: his parents' place in Nebraska, and he'll often be like,

887
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: I don't know how I tell my mom. He goes

888
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 1: on walks with his mom and he's.

889
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 2: Like, how do you deal with dad? I'm like.

890
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's like, well, that's your dad and that's

891
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 1: who I'm married to, and yeah, I know that's my

892
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: best attime at a Midwestern accent, I have to or

893
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: I know, don't. Don't you know if you remember Bobby's World,

894
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: that was big for me.

895
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 3: No, I don't know Bobby's world.

896
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,439
Speaker 1: You don't know Bobby's world. It was a cartoon and

897
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: I don't know much more beyond that. And I'll leave

898
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: it to you to look at. I'm bad at recounting things.

899
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: It's not even a matter of not wanting to tell you.

900
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,479
Speaker 1: I think I fear I'll embarrass myself because I can't

901
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: provide any further details. Okay, And that's just that, Okay,

902
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: and I apologize to everyone listening. I'm asking you to

903
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 1: go to Google.

904
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 3: Okay, and I'll do it.

905
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: Okay. His mom just's be like Bobby, don't you know?

906
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: That's the Midwestern woman. So, then being at home with

907
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: your parents as an adult while you had that job

908
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 1: shift in perspective of sorts of at least you felt like, yeah,

909
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: how are they doing this without me?

910
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 3: And also that it's kind of nice to feel helpful,

911
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, which I think I would feel often

912
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 3: if I lived thirty minutes away from them, you know

913
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 3: what I mean?

914
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: Right? Okay?

915
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,720
Speaker 2: Do you feel helpful as a dad yourself?

916
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 3: Though to my own kids?

917
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 2: You mean you're your own kids?

918
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, very much. So. I consider myself to be

919
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: a uh, what's the word, a mission critical asset in

920
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 3: our household?

921
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: Oh? I love that.

922
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 3: That's a phrase from a from okay productivity book I

923
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:10,959
Speaker 3: read once.

924
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: Okay, not written by your dad Okay, mission critical asset.

925
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: I like that, what ways are you helpful from in

926
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: your point of view?

927
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 3: Well, I'm practically helpful as a chauffeur and askay just

928
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 3: doing things around the house and for them. I definitely

929
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 3: all sorts of practical ways. But I also my twelve

930
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 3: year old is in the next room, but I don't

931
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 3: think she can.

932
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 2: Okay, so whisper, whisper, whisper. Okay, we're going to a whisper.

933
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,959
Speaker 3: I have always been quite good at motivating them through

934
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 3: humor and getting past difficult things by making them laugh.

935
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 1: It's almost like telling the kid Santa Claus doesn't exist,

936
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: or that the fairy tent, the what's that bitch? Just

937
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 1: the fair gosh, the tooth fairy?

938
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 2: Doesn't it? Why she a bitch? She didn't have to

939
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 2: be a bitch. She didn't even do it, she didn't

940
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 2: do anything to me. Doesn't exist.

941
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: You're like, I like that you don't understand what's exactly

942
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: happening here, And I enjoy the wonder and awe.

943
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 2: Really yes, right, yeah, something.

944
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: Magical about it, where it's like, this is a little

945
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: tool of mine. And if you see how the sausage

946
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: gets made, you lose a bit of the wonder here

947
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: and so okay, so that's why we're whispering.

948
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 3: Okay, got what I relate to with my kit because

949
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 3: I feel this way too. I guess everybody feels this way.

950
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: There are things that like you're really torn about doing,

951
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 3: like putting on your shoes to go out to the

952
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 3: farmer's market, like you know, like part of you is like,

953
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 3: I know we agreed to do that, and I know

954
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 3: everybody else wants to do it, and I think I

955
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 3: can look ahead and know that from past experience. Once

956
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 3: I'm there, I'm glad I went because there's all this

957
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 3: stuff but I don't wanna. And then that's a moment

958
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 3: when like making you laugh, having some fun, changing the

959
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 3: energy in.

960
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 2: The worm, that's powerful.

961
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, it can get you pass that like oh into

962
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 3: all the other stuff.

963
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: It's giving mission critical asset for sure. To me, You've

964
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: sold me. I'm like, that is I wonder, you know

965
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 1: if all dads feel that useful? And it's sincere wonder,

966
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 1: Like I have no take on it, but I'm like,

967
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: that does seem really important? And if your kids grow

968
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: up and they look back and they go, man, my

969
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: dad always made us laugh. My dad you know, when

970
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 1: I was feeling down or dubious about something, you had

971
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 1: to like change the vibe and uplift us. That's such

972
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: a that is really important, I think more than money.

973
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: I have friends whose dads were so not present but

974
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: very rich, and they'd like just toss money at things,

975
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, yeah, my dad's a dick though, like, yes,

976
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: I have zero student loans, but my dad's a dick.

977
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, you're kind of like a TV dad, Andy, Oh.

978
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 3: Yes, very much so yeah. Yeah, Well but you know

979
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 3: what's funny, Like I am I'm saying that, and I'm

980
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 3: at a place now where I'm really proud of it.

981
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 3: But for a long time I have said it like

982
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 3: out of the corner of my mouth, almost like I

983
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 3: can't leave town. They would never get to school, you.

984
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: Know what I mean, Like, wait, what do you think

985
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 1: the motivation behind that was to be like I'm a

986
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 1: little I'm hush hut, like out of the side of

987
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: your mouth. I'm not.

988
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,760
Speaker 2: I really exproud I say this.

989
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 3: At the outset of parenting, I did not expect to

990
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 3: be so integral through the process and so kind of

991
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 3: needed in a weird way. I don't know what I had. Well,

992
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 3: my dad traveled a lot as a salesman. He was

993
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 3: gone a lot, and he worked full schedule when I

994
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 3: was a kid. So in some way, even though I'm

995
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 3: a man of the modern world, I think I did

996
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 3: have in my mind, like my wife is going to

997
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 3: do like ninety percent of the parenting and I'm here

998
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 3: for something else.

999
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 1: I just made my life deposit and I'll be here

1000
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 1: if she can't handle something.

1001
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, somehow I'll find a way to defer back to her.

1002
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting is that what you're saying

1003
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: I think I've heard reflected over and over again, even

1004
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: as friends now are having kids with their partners and

1005
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: you hear it they go and I've read it online.

1006
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 2: It's like, you know that.

1007
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: Dad, we can't really be useful till X point in

1008
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: their lives. Are we're kind of the with the guy

1009
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 1: the dad, there's not really much to be done, we

1010
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 1: really think about it. The woman is carrying so much

1011
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: of the responsibility physically, literally, and otherwise. I find this

1012
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 1: incredibly fascinating because you're like, I expected that sounds like

1013
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: based on your experience and perhaps what's the way people

1014
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: talk about fatherhood and what how fathers can show up

1015
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: and how they can can or can't be useful in kids' lives,

1016
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: and how important a mother is. Which agreed, But you

1017
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: seem to have a different experience for yourself and different

1018
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: from you what you expected and from what you'd heard.

1019
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 3: Very much cool, And it's partly that I am around.

1020
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 3: It's partly that doing this thing for a living has

1021
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 3: meant that I'm I don't have a regular schedule, and

1022
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 3: so I have been able to jump in and find

1023
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 3: things to do in ways to be helpful that then

1024
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 3: have become quite necessary to the functioning of our house.

1025
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: I love to hear that. I love to hear that.

1026
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: Do you think that your kids feel close to you?

1027
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 3: I do?

1028
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, great? And how many do you have? If

1029
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 2: you don't mind me asking?

1030
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 3: Two kids? Seventeen and twelve? And actually this is I mean,

1031
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 3: this just happens, so it's kind of perfect timing that

1032
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: are my seventeen year old? I think, Yeah, how do

1033
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 3: I explact? My My wife mentioned to my seventeen year

1034
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,879
Speaker 3: old that when she and I first got together, I

1035
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 3: was like, uh, not so sure about having kids for

1036
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 3: various reasons, and I at the time was like, I

1037
00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:00,800
Speaker 3: don't think you should tell that to our child. Ye. Yes,

1038
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 3: but she, our seventeen year old, has hung on to

1039
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: that piece of information and recently said to me in

1040
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 3: front of all all of us, she was like, I

1041
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 3: was just thinking about how lucky I am to have

1042
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 3: such a great dad, particularly for someone who wasn't so

1043
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 3: sure he wanted to have kids. I was just amazing.

1044
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:22,320
Speaker 1: It's at your your birthday party, retirement. But for someone

1045
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: who didn't know he wanted to have me. Was there

1046
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: a sarcastic tone.

1047
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,720
Speaker 3: No, No, she really liked She appreciated that it wasn't

1048
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 3: a given that I was going to get into this

1049
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 3: parenting game, and that she feels like I feels that

1050
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: I've showed up for it.

1051
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool, That's wonderful, right, Can I may I

1052
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:53,399
Speaker 1: ask why you weren't sure you wanted to be a dad? Okay,

1053
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: there's a lot, bearing in mind, Andy, there's I'm sure

1054
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: there's a lot, but bearing in mind that, like what

1055
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: I think, I've never had children, but I imagine one

1056
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 1: of the best feelings in the world is hearing your

1057
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: child say that about you, like I acknowledge and see

1058
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 1: the effort you've made as a parent and it has

1059
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: impacted me and I am deeply grateful for it.

1060
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 2: And the way you show up, I don't take it

1061
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:16,240
Speaker 2: for granted.

1062
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: So knowing that Dad is so glad you're here, both

1063
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 1: of your children, I'm like, I am curious why, especially

1064
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 1: if you're such an exceptional dad and you feel like

1065
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 1: one and your children at least one of them has

1066
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: said you are.

1067
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 2: Why did you feel reticent?

1068
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 3: Partly it was like practical stuff, and at that time

1069
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 3: in my life in particular, I was very like focused

1070
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 3: on money and feeling like I don't know what is

1071
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 3: going to happen next year and stuff like that. But

1072
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,800
Speaker 3: partly it was also like I had a terrible fear

1073
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 3: of having kids who at some point hated me like

1074
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 3: I just I could just imagine that, I could just

1075
00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 3: imagine a teenage into twenties age kid who was just

1076
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 3: like get out here, old man, like yeah, for whatever

1077
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:10,760
Speaker 3: reason or for no reason, and the idea of that

1078
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 3: just seemed terrible, and it almost seemed, it almost seemed

1079
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 3: in a way like an inevitable period of time between

1080
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: particularly a son and a father. Even though I can't

1081
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 3: say my dad and I didn't really have well we

1082
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 3: had some Yeah, we had some friction.

1083
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 2: I had some friction, had some friction.

1084
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 3: Didn't get as bad as what I was envisioning. But

1085
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 3: I was envisioning like a true like a moment will

1086
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,359
Speaker 3: come when a son has to like separate from there.

1087
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 3: As it turns out, I did not have sons but

1088
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 3: separate from their dad in some way, and it's gonna

1089
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 3: be so ugly and brutal.

1090
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying it never got that dark or ugly

1091
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: with you and your dad. But did any part of

1092
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 1: you like resent the way he was or the way

1093
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 1: he showed up for you or didn't show up for you.

1094
00:52:55,120 --> 00:53:00,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, Like you know, yes and no. But

1095
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,919
Speaker 3: I was a very bad student in high school, and

1096
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 3: looking back on it now with this vantage point, like

1097
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 3: there were things I was good at and there was

1098
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: things I was not good at, and I think it

1099
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 3: was obvious that I was smart and that there were

1100
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 3: certain things I could do, even if the report cards

1101
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 3: were coming home and they were really disappointing and they

1102
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 3: seemed to like limit my options going forward, you know,

1103
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 3: but look at the big picture, and I'm not a

1104
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 3: hopeless case. I'm not going to end up in jail

1105
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 3: or pumping gas, you know, at the gas station, like

1106
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 3: I you know what I mean, Like look at the

1107
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 3: whole picture. But and my parents were so so upset

1108
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 3: at my grades and where I was with and so

1109
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 3: that was a lot of conflict and a lot of

1110
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 3: being grounded and punished and and yeah, a lot of

1111
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 3: a lot of conflict around that.

1112
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,359
Speaker 1: Yeah. Can I ask where you fell in the birth order?

1113
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 1: Because I feel like by the time they get to

1114
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 1: the youngest, it's a little a lot more lax. So

1115
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:56,879
Speaker 1: where do you fall?

1116
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:01,359
Speaker 3: My older brother is three years older than me, my

1117
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 3: younger brother eight years younger than me, So I'm in

1118
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 3: the middle. But for eight years of the baby.

1119
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 2: You were the baby.

1120
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: But still you were only three years apart from your

1121
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 1: older brother. Okay, now, is given how strict your parents

1122
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 1: were about academia and their expectations for you, are you

1123
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 1: that sort of strict with your kids?

1124
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 3: Or I literally don't know how to look at my

1125
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 3: daughter's grades. I actually don't. I don't know where the

1126
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 3: year over here. They're some kind of parent portal that

1127
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 3: I don't know the password to.

1128
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: Okay, you don't care, you don't care to know. That's

1129
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: the honest to god truth. Isn't it You don't really care?

1130
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 3: No, I mean I have definitely tried to explain that,

1131
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 3: like the higher that gray point averages, the wider the

1132
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 3: vista of options is. But so don't not get good

1133
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: grades just as a matter of like casual choice. Okay,

1134
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 3: there's every incentive to do your best. But and it's

1135
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 3: hard to like envision the future. So I get it,

1136
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,479
Speaker 3: but it's please understand you have every you have every

1137
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 3: incentive to do your best here. Okay, okay, but I'm

1138
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 3: not sitting there going we gotta bump this up to

1139
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 3: a B plus at least, you know.

1140
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: You literally don't even know what it is for all

1141
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: you know it, You have no idea. And does your

1142
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: your wife know?

1143
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she knows, she's she sometimes yeah, sometimes she'll

1144
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,839
Speaker 3: track it a little bit. Although but yeah, our daughter

1145
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 3: just recently did. She mentioned her GPA and I was like,

1146
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 3: oh great, okay, good.

1147
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: Hands, Okay, lais fair. It actually is effective. That's amazing.

1148
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 2: Are you a disciplinarian? Would you say with your kids?

1149
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 3: No? No, No, I mean I definitely I get angry

1150
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:03,799
Speaker 3: when they're or if I am lied to, I get

1151
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 3: really that's my only thing. Okay, like I think I

1152
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 3: can be reasonable being told almost anything, but to find

1153
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 3: out that I've been lied to.

1154
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: I get Yeah, that's that's tricky.

1155
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's same with me again, and I'm

1156
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 1: not a parent, and I'm like, that's something about that

1157
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 1: really gets under your skin. How do you handle those

1158
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 1: moments you obviously get angry, they know you're angry. Do

1159
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:31,359
Speaker 1: you think it changes like if if the if your

1160
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: kids know you're angry about something that they've done, namely

1161
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 1: for you know, being lied to. Do you think the

1162
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 1: next time the opportunity to lie to you arises, or

1163
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 1: the inclination arises, they will choose different course? Or have

1164
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 1: you seen that be effective being angry about it?

1165
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think so, But I guess I can't draw

1166
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 3: a direct line from the anger to the okay, to

1167
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 3: the different choices.

1168
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 1: Being angry works. There's righteous anger, they say, ye anger.

1169
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's I guess it's probably been more or

1170
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,280
Speaker 3: helpful to have, you know, the conversations after the anger

1171
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 3: about like why that was, why that hurts so much?

1172
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 1: And right?

1173
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 3: You know, right, Okay, Yeah, I actually believe I also, yeah,

1174
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,439
Speaker 3: I believe that our seventeen year old has become more

1175
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 3: respectful of our desire to be told the truth.

1176
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds again like effective parenting, and I

1177
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: truly believe no one really knows what they're up to.

1178
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: Everyone sort of trying their hand as you go.

1179
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll tell you where you go, right It Like

1180
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 3: I would say, ninety percent of the parenting conflict. And

1181
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 3: I'm sure you've heard this is all about devices and

1182
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 3: screen time and Instagram and TikTok and all of that.

1183
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah.

1184
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 3: So that is the ultimate like carrot. You know what

1185
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 3: I mean?

1186
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 2: And what's interesting? I hadn't heard that.

1187
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: It does make sense, It makes me under Okay, if

1188
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,919
Speaker 1: it's that, now, what was it thirty years ago?

1189
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 2: Was it TV?

1190
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 1: I feel like we liked playing outside. I liked playing outside,

1191
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, like, what was I getting in trouble for?

1192
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: It's all a distant memory, which is to say to

1193
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 1: you and hopefully comfort you, that you don't remember a

1194
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 1: lot of it.

1195
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't remember.

1196
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do I used to get in trouble for? Attitude?

1197
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 1: Which is probably not surprising anyone as much as I talk.

1198
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm like I could see that now, But

1199
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: what do you think it was I'm like devices, iPads, homes.

1200
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean when I think like when I was younger,

1201
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 3: me and my older brother would fight and get into

1202
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 3: stupid arguments about stuff, and that's what we got in

1203
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 3: trouble for.

1204
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 2: Okay, fighting, Yeah, that's for sure.

1205
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 3: And then yeah, and then once I was past ninth grade,

1206
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 3: it was all about grades.

1207
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 2: Okay.

1208
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I can't remember what else I got in

1209
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 3: trouble for. We were a pretty TV positive house.

1210
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like sit Down and Washington TV. Some

1211
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: people were in fact raised by TV and I kind

1212
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 1: of was one. And now look it all worked out

1213
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 1: in it. Now, Look, do your kids get along with

1214
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 1: one another?

1215
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, they do. They're actually five years apart. So it's

1216
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 3: it's it's good and bad, you know, Like they're okay,

1217
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 3: they don't have a lot of the same interests a

1218
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 3: lot of the time, okay, but they also don't seem

1219
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 3: to have the they're not competing over the exact same resources.

1220
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: Right, It's kind of nice the staggered, staggered life they're living.

1221
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 1: Is there something that feels really important to you as

1222
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 1: a dad to impart to your kids in terms of

1223
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: what kind of people they become, what sort of values

1224
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 1: they have.

1225
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 3: It's I mean, there's never been a better bumper sticker.

1226
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 3: Then you have to treat other people the way you

1227
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:51,920
Speaker 3: want to be treated. Like it's so simple and it's

1228
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 3: but it's so true, and you do have to actively

1229
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 3: remind yourself of it from time to time, like, oh,

1230
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 3: how would I feel if somebody did to me? But

1231
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,959
Speaker 3: it's the main thing that I've tried to get it, Puss,

1232
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 3: But I don't know, that's not very satisfying because it's

1233
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 3: such a common piece of wisdom.

1234
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is satisfying to me. I'm like, I

1235
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,439
Speaker 1: just I'm curious when it's like, you bring a human

1236
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,479
Speaker 1: into the world, you're responsible for the human at least

1237
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: till they're eighteen in theory, and you're literally rearing this person.

1238
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 1: What are you trying to teach them? Has it occurred

1239
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 1: to you what it is you really want to teach them?

1240
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 1: And if that is satisfying, I want to teach them

1241
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 1: to treat others how they want to be treated.

1242
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 3: I would also really love for my kids to acquire

1243
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 3: as effortlessly and easily as possible a clear sense of

1244
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 3: what they want. You know what I mean, because I

1245
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 3: think what you want can so often get muddied up

1246
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 3: by what other people want from you and what the

1247
01:00:56,480 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 3: expectations of your peers and all that stuff, and your

1248
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 3: inability to predict how something's going to make you feel,

1249
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 3: you know, so I yeah, that's one thing I would

1250
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 3: love to foster in my kids, Like, just have a

1251
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 3: clear idea of who you are and what you want,

1252
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: and then from there you can build on so much.

1253
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and would you say your kids consider you

1254
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 1: a confidant.

1255
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 3: Some times, not as often as I would like, But

1256
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 3: every once in a while the teen will surprise me

1257
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 3: with like an outpouring of the personal stuff that I'll

1258
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 3: be like, I'm so glad you're telling.

1259
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 1: Me this, Oh good, good good, And you react well,

1260
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: you know you feel equipped to respond well in those moments.

1261
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,800
Speaker 3: Yes, and no, I think I know well enough at

1262
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 3: this point that like what I should not do is

1263
01:01:57,040 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 3: jump in with all kinds of like forcefully experts advice.

1264
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 2: Sure, okay, do you what you was able to ask

1265
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 2: more questions?

1266
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1267
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 2: If you ask more questions of that sort of it, okay, Okay.

1268
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: Ask questions and sympathize and empathize.

1269
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't really go wrong if you ask questions

1270
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: and go, oh, I'm so glad you said that. And

1271
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:21,479
Speaker 1: now that thing you just said has brought another question

1272
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 1: to the surface for me. How about this, and let

1273
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: me give you the space that's really invaluable. I think Andy,

1274
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead. This isn't something I do typically

1275
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 1: on the podcast, but go ahead and say pretty damn

1276
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 1: good dad. And this is not to say the other

1277
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 1: dads we're not good.

1278
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,440
Speaker 3: You should have a rating system of pipes and slippers.

1279
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 3: We should.

1280
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I now have to go back and go, oh,

1281
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 1: my goodness, I think all the dads are good. No,

1282
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 1: cut that part out. Let's pretend I never called Andy

1283
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 1: a good dad. It's not to say Andy is not

1284
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 1: a good dad. It's not zero sum. To say Andy

1285
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,440
Speaker 1: is not a good dad is not to say the

1286
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 1: other dad's are not good dads. In fact, I think

1287
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 1: all the dads, truly that I've spoken to thus far

1288
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 1: are remarkable. I think it's so cool to show up

1289
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 1: as a father, to not know exactly what type of

1290
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: role you will play in a young person's life, but

1291
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 1: knowing you have this responsibility and knowing that you can

1292
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 1: have an impact, and learning as you go navigating it

1293
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 1: and trying your damn best.

1294
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:26,920
Speaker 2: It's worth celebrating.

1295
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: I end each episode by asking my dad for the

1296
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 1: day for a piece of advice. So I'm going to

1297
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 1: ask you for a piece of advice. I'm asking you

1298
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: simply because you're my dad for the day. Yes, And

1299
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 1: it's not a function of me thinking you're an expert

1300
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 1: in any regard. So if you're not an expert, you

1301
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: don't have to pretend to be one.

1302
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 3: Well, so go come, no please, I'll give you a

1303
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 3: piece of advice inspired by something that was in one

1304
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:58,479
Speaker 3: of the emails about like how to buy a cart.

1305
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 3: But I'm going to expand it out from there and

1306
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:05,920
Speaker 3: just say, in my opinion, some people love it, but

1307
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 3: I think you should avoid haggling situations as best you

1308
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 3: can throughout your life.

1309
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:14,200
Speaker 2: We are connected.

1310
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: I think that we share DNA because what you're going

1311
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: to realize, I was just about to I kidch you

1312
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 1: not about to ask you a piece of advice about

1313
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 1: how to negotiate what.

1314
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 3: I didn't know you were going to have a specific question.

1315
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 1: I was gonna It's okay. A few people have it,

1316
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: and I think it's kind of fun to be like,

1317
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: have them jump in and say here's a piece of

1318
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 1: advice for you.

1319
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 2: I'm going to dish out because I think dads do that.

1320
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 1: By the way, you've had that experiences as a son

1321
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 1: of a father, which sounds like a slur, you son

1322
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 1: of a father. But how do I negotiate my salary?

1323
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,720
Speaker 1: Do you essentially just said, don't do it?

1324
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:54,320
Speaker 3: Yeah? Don't ever, man. I mean, I'm so I'm so

1325
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:58,120
Speaker 3: glad that like I have and you have people who

1326
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 3: actually do that for you, and that I get to.

1327
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,920
Speaker 3: Let me tell you about I have found this person

1328
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 3: who is a car broker and when I if I

1329
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,800
Speaker 3: want a new car, because I lease a car so

1330
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 3: the lease will be up, and then I'll say to him, like,

1331
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 3: here's the car I want, and he just finds it

1332
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 3: and I don't. I don't know if the price I'm

1333
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 3: paying is good or bad.

1334
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 2: I understand what kind of dad you are?

1335
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I can't get involved. I

1336
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 3: can't get my feelings hurt by feeling like I I

1337
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 3: paid too much, or that I got screwed, or that

1338
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:35,080
Speaker 3: I fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

1339
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:35,840
Speaker 1: Like I can't.

1340
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:38,440
Speaker 3: It hurts too much, Like I can't put that on

1341
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 3: the line.

1342
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 2: Get involved.

1343
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:42,480
Speaker 1: I love, you don't know your daughter's grades and you

1344
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 1: don't know how much money you're paying for your car. Again,

1345
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:49,439
Speaker 1: the hands off approach is working so well.

1346
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 3: I mean I'm very hands on on some things, but

1347
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 3: there's certain things that I'm just like, there's no no

1348
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 3: good can come of me getting deep in the weeds

1349
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 3: on this and like, yeah, so when it comes to negotiating,

1350
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 3: I love to just take my agent's word for it

1351
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 3: that like, this is the most I could get out

1352
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 3: of them. I mean, they really they came in here

1353
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,960
Speaker 3: and I went up there, and this is either we

1354
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:09,160
Speaker 3: walk away or we accept this, you know, and I

1355
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 3: just don't. Yeah, whatever you tell me.

1356
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 1: Can I ask Andy, when a job offer comes in

1357
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 1: for you, if it's a number that you're like, oh,

1358
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,720
Speaker 1: this feels like less than what I'm worth, will you

1359
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 1: say to your reps, hey and reps, guys, agents, managers,

1360
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: et cetera. Will you say to your reps, I think

1361
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:28,840
Speaker 1: we need to push for more money, or do you

1362
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 1: go I like the sound of this job. I'm in.

1363
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 3: No, I have said more money. I have said that.

1364
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:35,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

1365
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:38,680
Speaker 3: Sometimes, well, why are you telling your daughter me wait

1366
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 3: telling me well, because I guess I'm saying, all right,

1367
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 3: all right, that's what you're shit, because I'm imagining you

1368
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:50,200
Speaker 3: sitting across the table from Lord Michaels slipping pieces of paper. Job, No,

1369
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 3: you don't want to know, so okay, given that there's

1370
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 3: an intermediary, Given that there's an intermediary, yes, absolutely, you

1371
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,440
Speaker 3: can say the intermediary.

1372
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 1: Can't we do a little bit better than that?

1373
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:06,720
Speaker 3: Or I you know, sometimes there are jobs where it's like, uh, yeah,

1374
01:07:06,840 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 3: the the amount of money is so wrong that I'll

1375
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,680
Speaker 3: just say, clearly they don't.

1376
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 2: Have on principle you wouldn't do it, or no, you

1377
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:15,400
Speaker 2: will do it.

1378
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 3: I would do it. But like we're in such different

1379
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:21,560
Speaker 3: universes that there's no point continuing to discuss it, you

1380
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like if you're starting here more, yes, yeah.

1381
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 1: I'm somewhere else in some other world. I'm in Wakanda. Okay, yeah, Okay.

1382
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:36,920
Speaker 3: There be times like that. Yeah, I guess I have

1383
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:39,880
Speaker 3: found mostly in my career it's it's kind of take

1384
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:40,960
Speaker 3: it or leave it, and sometimes you.

1385
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 2: Leave it okay, Okay.

1386
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:46,000
Speaker 3: Occasionally my agent will be like I'll go back and

1387
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 3: ask if you want and see.

1388
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 2: What they say, and then yeah, okay, I understand.

1389
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm not trying it, guys, I just wanted advice from

1390
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: from my dad. You don't have to dad, Honestly, his

1391
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 1: advice was a bit contradict, which feels very human and

1392
01:08:02,840 --> 01:08:03,720
Speaker 1: feels really dad.

1393
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 2: Like, you sound so disappointed. Okay, I wish No, I

1394
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 2: don't know.

1395
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,720
Speaker 3: I like, I don't know. I don't have all the answers.

1396
01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:14,440
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm wanting all the dads to say.

1397
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:16,120
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm wanting them to say. But that's

1398
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:18,960
Speaker 1: also a really good dad answer. A really good out

1399
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 1: is like, look, I don't have all the answers. Also,

1400
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:24,880
Speaker 1: I'm always confused about how to handle those situations, and

1401
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to get your take on it, and that's

1402
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 1: helpful to me. And your take and everything is case

1403
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:33,439
Speaker 1: by case, I will say, right, okay, right, so I

1404
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 1: know that much, but I will have your conflicting advice

1405
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 1: at top of mine next time it comes time to negotiate.

1406
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 1: It's sort of like, don't haggle, but.

1407
01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 3: Don't haggle over buying and selling things.

1408
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, that's good.

1409
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:55,240
Speaker 1: I'm selling some items in my home from my home

1410
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I guess you know, people are like, well,

1411
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 1: you come down on the price, and a little like,

1412
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 1: I don't know. The price is the price, and the

1413
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 1: price is just the price, and I didn't price it

1414
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 1: in a way that I was like, I'm leaving room

1415
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 1: for haggling because I don't want to do that, nor

1416
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:10,800
Speaker 1: do I have time.

1417
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 2: Right, I see what you're saying.

1418
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,680
Speaker 3: I once sold a television at a garage sale for

1419
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 3: thirteen dollars and that was like two thousand year was

1420
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:21,920
Speaker 3: this two thousand and five? And I'm still mad about it?

1421
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:23,800
Speaker 2: Are you still thinking about it?

1422
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:25,599
Speaker 3: I got talked to fifteen dollars?

1423
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:27,639
Speaker 2: But okay, this which is why?

1424
01:09:27,720 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're saying that's so upsetting too that you're like,

1425
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 1: never again will I haggle or be haggled with?

1426
01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:32,799
Speaker 3: Exactly?

1427
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:36,439
Speaker 1: Yes? Understood? All right, wonderful Andy? Is there anything you

1428
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:37,680
Speaker 1: would like to plug before we go?

1429
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 3: Oh? Just my podcast Patreon at patreon dot com slash

1430
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:44,880
Speaker 3: Andy Daly. You can find all kinds of podcasts there,

1431
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 3: including the aforementioned Bonanas for Bonanza.

1432
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:53,200
Speaker 1: Oh no, did I say okay? Bonanas for Bonanna two?

1433
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:53,640
Speaker 2: No?

1434
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,120
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, it's it's bananas for bonanza, but

1435
01:09:56,200 --> 01:10:00,839
Speaker 3: I'm I'm accentuating the bow for the purposes he people understand.

1436
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:03,680
Speaker 1: Oh yes, low and find helping people locate it on

1437
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 1: the patron because oh no, never mind. Okay, well, I've

1438
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 1: absolutely walked and shipped myself, and thank you so much

1439
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:13,240
Speaker 1: for being my dad for the day.

1440
01:10:13,479 --> 01:10:13,639
Speaker 3: Boy.

1441
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,479
Speaker 2: Is that all the plugs? Is that all the plugs

1442
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,200
Speaker 2: your heart designs?

1443
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 3: Yes, all the plugs.

1444
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: That's it? Okay, all right, wonderful. Thank you so much

1445
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 1: for your time. I really really appreciate you having this

1446
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 1: conversation with me.

1447
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 3: I enjoyed it. So get get good sleep and eat well. Please,

1448
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 3: Thank you dad.

1449
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:32,160
Speaker 2: Thanks.

1450
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:35,400
Speaker 1: Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me

1451
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:39,240
Speaker 1: Iego Wodem. This show is engineered by Rochelle Chen and

1452
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 1: Anya Kanskaya and edited by Rochelle Chen with executive producer

1453
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 1: Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum.

1454
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:51,080
Speaker 1: Thanks to Jason Methini for our show art and Faris

1455
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:54,519
Speaker 1: Manshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum,

1456
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:56,439
Speaker 1: visit headgum dot com or.

1457
01:10:56,439 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 2: Wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

1458
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 1: Leave us a review on apple pot and maybe, just

1459
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:06,479
Speaker 1: maybe we'll read it on a future episode that was

1460
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:06,760
Speaker 1: a hit.

1461
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:07,559
Speaker 3: Gum Podcast