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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Carly and this is Keyon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show running.

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Speaker 3: My husband refused to pick me up after surgery and

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Speaker 3: left me stranded.

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Speaker 2: You want you to walk home.

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Speaker 3: I recently had a baby and returned from maternity leave.

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Speaker 3: I have two kids under two and got a new

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Speaker 3: job working on part time remotely for really good money

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Speaker 3: ninety bucks an hour, twenty five hours per week from

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Speaker 3: twelve to five. By the way, this comes from regular

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Speaker 3: BlackBerry sixteen. If you want us something your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the our slash Okay Stories. I'm sub right it,

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Speaker 3: I'm Riley.

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I was chugging this, I'm key On Hi.

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Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice. Scoofully, that's our job.

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Speaker 3: Your job is. If you have anything you want to

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Speaker 3: add out of the comments, Obi says, we took our

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Speaker 3: kids out of daycare because we both work remotely and

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Speaker 3: coaflex our schedules around caring for them while spending time

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Speaker 3: with them and saving money. My partner, Bob just started

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Speaker 3: paternity leave today and it was the first time I

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Speaker 3: asked him to watch the kids, just for a few

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Speaker 3: hours so I could focus on meetings. He seemed okay

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Speaker 3: with this. In the morning the day before, on Sunday,

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Speaker 3: I was feeling so sick. I had been up since

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Speaker 3: two am with my two babies and had nausea and

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Speaker 3: the worst headache. I told my partner I needed to sleep,

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Speaker 3: and he took the babies along with his mom. I

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Speaker 3: couldn't really sleep, so I woke up around nine thirty.

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Speaker 3: My partner was playing video games while his mom had

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Speaker 3: the baby and the toddler was wandering around. He played

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Speaker 3: video games for most of the day. Another instance for

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Speaker 3: video games is ruin relationships.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I think it's pretty common.

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Speaker 1: This is the one time where you don't blame the game,

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Speaker 1: you blame the player.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good one, keyan, I agree. I agree. The next

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Speaker 3: day he told me he was starting his paternity leave.

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Speaker 3: I said that was great and asked him if he

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Speaker 3: could watch the babies for a couple hours while I

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Speaker 3: had meetings for my new job. He agreed and seemed

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Speaker 3: okay with this. I cooked him breakfast and he left

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Speaker 3: to do some work for his business. Around nine point thirty,

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Speaker 3: he knew my meetings started at two pm. At one

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Speaker 3: fifteen pm, I called him to see if he was

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Speaker 3: on his way back, and he questioned why I hadn't

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Speaker 3: called him yet. I'd been busy with a million things.

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Speaker 3: This made me think he stayed out all morning intentionally

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Speaker 3: to make me upset, like he expected me to call

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Speaker 3: him asking where he was. He then went on a

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Speaker 3: rent about how he can't do this every day because

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Speaker 3: he has things to do and watching them would impact this.

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Speaker 3: He said, if every day is like yesterday and today,

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Speaker 3: it'll be catastrophic. I got upset because I do ninety

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Speaker 3: percent of the childcare. His mom is helping for now,

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Speaker 3: but he's leaving soon. I told him I just needed

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Speaker 3: two hours and that that's not a lot to ask.

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Speaker 3: He got angry and duranting to turn around and not

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Speaker 3: come home to watch them. I told him that sounds

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Speaker 3: like he wants to sabotage my job, and he hung

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Speaker 3: up on me. He did end up coming home. I

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Speaker 3: was angry, so I stopped down the stairs, grabbed my

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Speaker 3: toddler until told him I don't need you. I can

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Speaker 3: take care of my own children. He said, get out

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Speaker 3: of my house. I said, I don't care. He came

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Speaker 3: upstairs upset that I disrespected him in front of his

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Speaker 3: mom and threatened to turn it the Wi Fi offer

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Speaker 3: disrespecting him. Instead of watching the kids, he went to

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Speaker 3: sleep and had his mom watch them anyways while I

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Speaker 3: did my calls. She couldn't handle them and hurt herself

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Speaker 3: trying to bring them outside. What is what?

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Speaker 2: I think we're already at the point of like, what

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Speaker 2: are we doing and we haven't even gotten to the surgery.

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Speaker 3: The whole premise of paternity leave is to what watch

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Speaker 3: the kids? Paternity paternal paternally the kids. That's the whole point.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't say vacation time. Oh go go go work

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Speaker 3: on your other side business and leave your wife with

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Speaker 3: the kids.

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Speaker 2: Time is other side business video games.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. This is wild, even though he apparently

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Speaker 3: had so much important work to do, which is what

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Speaker 3: started the whole argument in the first place. He always

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Speaker 3: says my job contributes nothing to the household, that I

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Speaker 3: should be watching the kids, not working. I may be paranoid,

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Speaker 3: but I offer to pay the boils towards house and

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Speaker 3: he refuses. I think he doesn't want me to have

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Speaker 3: my own money with how critical he is of me working?

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Speaker 3: Am I asking too much? Does it sound like he

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Speaker 3: wants to sabotage my job? Am I being ungrateful by

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Speaker 3: giving him an attitude even though he doesn't expect me

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Speaker 3: to pay bills except my own. I just feel so

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Speaker 3: much anger and resentment because I don't go off and

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Speaker 3: nap whenever I would like to like he does. He

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Speaker 3: never wants to give me time to do my work

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Speaker 3: like I do for him. I clean and cook, take

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Speaker 3: care of two babies, and I end up being the

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Speaker 3: one constantly criticized. On top of that, he was talking

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Speaker 3: about how he wants another kid but literally can't handle

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Speaker 3: caring for the ones we have on his own. We

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Speaker 3: have some comments, how is one hundred and twelve k

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Speaker 3: a year job not contributing to your household?

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Speaker 2: Cause he's afraid then he could be a stay at

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Speaker 2: home dad and he'd actually have to watch the kids.

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Speaker 3: Comment. Put your salary into a soul account in your

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Speaker 3: name so you have a buffer if he does throw

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Speaker 3: you out. Get a phone plan with a lot of

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Speaker 3: data so you can hot spot Wi Fi for your

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Speaker 3: work so if he turns the router off, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: Update he has been giving me the silent treatment all week,

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Speaker 3: which he knows triggers me divorce. I should have just

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Speaker 3: ignored him too, but he knows I had to get

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Speaker 3: a surgery today Friday. He said he will watch the kids,

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Speaker 3: but will not support me or pick me up from

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Speaker 3: my surgery. He also said he will be taking me

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Speaker 3: off his medical insurance.

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Speaker 2: Cool divorce.

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Speaker 3: What surgery is this divorce?

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Speaker 2: You're gonna be one less child to take care of.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be so freeing.

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Speaker 3: In the past, he tells me he gets joy from

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Speaker 3: talking to his ex wife, who is suffering from heart problems,

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Speaker 3: because he would be able to help her out, but

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Speaker 3: chooses not to and likes to see that she should struggling.

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Speaker 3: He also said he wouldn't care if his mother got

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Speaker 3: so upset about something. You got enough money, and you

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Speaker 3: work enough hours where you can probably take care of

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Speaker 3: the kids somewhat and do okay.

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Speaker 2: I think, yeah, full custody of those kiddos, Move out

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Speaker 2: and live a great life with your great job, and

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Speaker 2: never think of this man again.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward to today. Apparently I'm unable to get an

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Speaker 3: uber home from the hospital, and he's not responding to

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Speaker 3: any calls from me or the hospital. I have no

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Speaker 3: one else as all my family and friends are in

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Speaker 3: my home state across the country, so now I'm stuck

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Speaker 3: in the hospital as they try to figure this out.

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Speaker 3: I'm so embarrassed and made plans with my sister to

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Speaker 3: come home and leave him. Yes I can. I just

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Speaker 3: don't know what to do with my babies because we

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Speaker 3: have a custody agreement in place, and I won't be

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Speaker 3: able to take them with me until it's a mendoy.

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Speaker 2: You pre have a custody agreement.

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Speaker 1: Sounds planned, you crazy, bacod one. The fact that you

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Speaker 1: have a pre one like in you guys set that

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Speaker 1: up because he probably knew you would eventually.

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Speaker 3: Oh yikes, that was wild.

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Speaker 4: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

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Speaker 4: the next one.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend lost his job and now I'm supposed to

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Speaker 2: pay his bills.

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Speaker 3: Seems like how it should work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, For a bit of background, my twenty three female

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Speaker 2: boyfriend twenty eight male and I live in an apartment

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Speaker 2: which he owns, but the monthly fees are really high.

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Speaker 2: The apartment is under his name because he had it

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Speaker 2: before we got together, and I have never had my

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Speaker 2: own place, and legally still live with my parents. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Throwaway one seven seven, six

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Speaker 2: eighty seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the Arslage. Okay, storytime separad it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

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Speaker 2: Give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, so let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. As Op says,

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Speaker 2: I currently do not have a job because I quit

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Speaker 2: a little over a month ago due to personal reasons,

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Speaker 2: and I will be going back to school, so I'm

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Speaker 2: not looking for employment since my parents have funds for

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Speaker 2: my education. My boyfriend has a full time job and

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Speaker 2: has been there for almost ten years, but the owner

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Speaker 2: recently changed and he is pretty unhappy about it because

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Speaker 2: the new owner is not a good guy. Up until

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Speaker 2: this point, my boyfriend was fairly happy with this job

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Speaker 2: because he used to be able to nap most days

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Speaker 2: and did not really do a lot of actual work.

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Speaker 2: But with the owner change, he has not been able

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Speaker 2: to nap or relax at all. I understand it is stressful,

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Speaker 2: but now he wants to quit and unfortunately told that

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Speaker 2: to the new owner, even though everyone told him he

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Speaker 2: should not. Now the new owner is looking to replace him,

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Speaker 2: So my boyfriend is panicking that he will not have

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Speaker 2: any income and wants me to take from my personal

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Speaker 2: savings to cover his expenses. I love my boyfriend a

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Speaker 2: lot and want to spend my life with him, but

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Speaker 2: I am really uncomfortable taking from my savings because I

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Speaker 2: do not think I should have to. However, he thinks

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Speaker 2: I should since in the end it will be our

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Speaker 2: money anyways, and that is better than him losing the apartment.

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Speaker 2: It's also not necessarily true.

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Speaker 3: You gotta run, you gotta run, You gotta just run,

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Speaker 3: Please run right.

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Speaker 2: The thing that really irritates me is he is super

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Speaker 2: into crypto and has a bunch of money put into it,

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Speaker 2: but refuses to take anything out. When I was working,

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Speaker 2: I would regularly send him money to help out with

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Speaker 2: bills and other expenses. Opa Now that I do not

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Speaker 2: have a study income, I cannot send him as much

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Speaker 2: as I used to and am running low on funds.

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Speaker 3: You send him money? Why he still had a job, Well.

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Speaker 2: I think because she was living there. That was probably

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Speaker 2: like her contributing to the rent that he didn't pay

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Speaker 2: low key like paying him rent. Almost Luckily, because I

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Speaker 2: still partially live with my parents, I do not have

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Speaker 2: many expenses and no bills at least, so I've been

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Speaker 2: able to afford helping him. I'm just really stuck with

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Speaker 2: what to do because I want to help him more,

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Speaker 2: but I do not have the means to, and I

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Speaker 2: am starting to get pretty upset that he keeps pushing

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Speaker 2: me to either get a job or take from my savings.

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Speaker 2: He also could ask his family for money, which I

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Speaker 2: know is embarrassing, but I feel like he's putting this

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Speaker 2: all on me without exhausting other options. My parents are

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Speaker 2: really against me giving him money, especially from my savings,

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Speaker 2: and they refuse to help him because they have already

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Speaker 2: had to dig him out of multiple holes previously. I

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Speaker 2: love this man a lot, but it is starting to

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Speaker 2: get hard not to be upset with him. I know

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Speaker 2: he's struggling, but I am already stressed enough with going

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Speaker 2: back to school after completely changing my career path, and

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Speaker 2: I'm worried that this will break us.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry the fact that he's struggling when he has

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Speaker 1: money and in crypto and in investing all that stuff,

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Speaker 1: he's not struggling. He's just being negligent and he's letting

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Speaker 1: you do everything for him.

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Speaker 3: So I'm a big believer. And if you can handle

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Speaker 3: the little things, you'll be rewarded with bigger things. So

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Speaker 3: if you get a little bit of money every month

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Speaker 3: and you're able to manage that well and live off

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Speaker 3: of it and do good, then whenever the big things come,

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Speaker 3: you'll do good at that. This is not giving that

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Speaker 3: behavior whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: I am not always the best girlfriend. I am not

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Speaker 2: great at cleaning up after he cooks, and I am

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Speaker 2: not good at talking about my feelings. But I hate

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Speaker 2: how upset he gets at me while I still support

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Speaker 2: him constantly, even though pretty much all he does besides

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Speaker 2: go to work is sleep or complain or talk about Crypto.

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Speaker 1: This guy sounds so dull and boring.

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Speaker 2: By yeah, I'm still waiting for you to say anything

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Speaker 2: good about this man. I am sorry, I'm starting to ramble,

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Speaker 2: but any advice would truly be a blessing. I am

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Speaker 2: just so stuck right now, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: lose him or myself to this.

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Speaker 3: You are, yeah, well, date, Whenever you prioritize someone before yourself,

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Speaker 3: you end up losing them. And yourself, and you have

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Speaker 3: to rebuild from that.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to add some additional information because a lot

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Speaker 2: of people seem to misunderstand and think that I do

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Speaker 2: nothing for my boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Who whoa whoa who was saying that you do nothing

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Speaker 3: for your boyfriend. I would love to see the things

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Speaker 3: your boyfriend does for you, because you do things for

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Speaker 3: your boyfriend, like give him money while he still has

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Speaker 3: a job.

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Speaker 2: I do pay for things, and up until recently, I

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Speaker 2: had a job that I ended up having to leave

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Speaker 2: due to my mental health and a toxic environment. I

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00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,280
Speaker 2: do clean up after my boyfriend cooks, and I also

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00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,360
Speaker 2: pay for groceries and anything else we need or want.

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Speaker 2: I just have never paid rent because he owns the

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Speaker 2: apartment and never wanted me to pay or would not

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Speaker 2: let me pay rent. I am also the one with

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Speaker 2: the license, and I drive us everywhere because he refuses

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Speaker 2: to get his license.

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Speaker 1: Girl, you are enabling this man to be like this.

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Speaker 2: Up until recently, I have not been able to pay

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Speaker 2: for as much because I no longer have an income

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Speaker 2: and have made the decision to go back to school

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Speaker 2: so I will not be able to work while studying. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: I ended up speaking to him today and told him

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Speaker 2: I was not comfortable taking from my savings and asked

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Speaker 2: if he could ask his own family or take from

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Speaker 2: his investments. He still will not ask his family, which

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Speaker 2: I understand, but regarding his investments, he said he will

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Speaker 2: take from them in the new year if they still

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Speaker 2: do not go up right now. He wants to hold

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Speaker 2: on to them because they are down and he does

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Speaker 2: not want to take them at a loss.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like a personal problem, my guy. Wait, I don't

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Speaker 1: have any money. Sounds like another personal problem, my guy.

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Speaker 2: If he does end up losing his job, which we

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Speaker 2: should know about next week, then I will just cover

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Speaker 2: him for a couple of months until he can hopefully

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Speaker 2: go on employment insurance because we are in Canada. I

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00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,360
Speaker 2: am still not very comfortable taking from my savings, but

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Speaker 2: he explained that it is really his only option and

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Speaker 2: that it will be better for both of us in

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Speaker 2: the long run. I'm praying everything works out, and mainly

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Speaker 2: praying he does not lose his job so I will

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Speaker 2: not have to take for my savings at all. Yikes. Yikes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, best thing to do is to leave and stop enabling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, go back to school and focus on your school, yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm aware I'm a bit immature. I mean, I am

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Speaker 2: twenty three and have never lived by myself or had

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Speaker 2: to fend for myself.

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Speaker 3: Dude, you keep putting yourself down.

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Speaker 2: Stop so I'm still learning a lot as I go.

300
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 2: I know a lot of you will not be happy

301
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 2: about the update, and I'm not really either, But he

302
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 2: has always been there for me, and I am not

303
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Speaker 2: ready to give up just yet.

304
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

305
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,880
Speaker 2: We have gone through a lot, and if I need

306
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,800
Speaker 2: to financially support him at his lowest, then that is

307
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Speaker 2: what I have to do.

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Speaker 1: You know what, all right, we led the horse to water.

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Speaker 1: We can't force you to drink it.

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Speaker 2: Op.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

312
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 2: Maybe it's the wrong choice and could be due to

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00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,200
Speaker 2: my immaturity, but I know he would help me if

314
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 2: our roles were reversed, even if that sounds hard to

315
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Speaker 2: believe with what money, Yep.

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Speaker 3: That does sound hard to believe. All right? Cool, Well,

317
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,520
Speaker 3: that one sucked that person. Wow. I feel really bad

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00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,400
Speaker 3: for OP. They're stuck, but that takes a little bit

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00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,760
Speaker 3: for people to find out, and I hope you have

320
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,080
Speaker 3: the clarity too. One day we'll get there and that's

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Speaker 3: the end.

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Speaker 4: Of the story. We're going to read the next one.

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Speaker 3: My partner cheated during a typhoon and says he was

324
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Speaker 3: going to tell me later.

325
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 2: How did you find out about that?

326
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:19,280
Speaker 3: Last Sunday, while super Typhoon Fumong was passing near our region,

327
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 3: I found out that my partner twenty two mail cheated

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00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,880
Speaker 3: on me. Twenty six non binary four context. We started

329
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 3: as friends way back January twenty twenty four, Matt for

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00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,200
Speaker 3: the first time February twenty twenty four, and came to

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00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 3: my place around March of twenty twenty four. We have

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00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,200
Speaker 3: officially been together since May of twenty twenty four, but

333
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,400
Speaker 3: we were long distanced during all of this and we

334
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 3: just visit each other every few months. By the way,

335
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,400
Speaker 3: this comes from Rude Avocado twenty six and if you

336
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 3: would a smit your own stories, go to the rstars

337
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 3: okay stories, I'm subright at, I'm Riley, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

338
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,480
Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice Schoolfully, we don't

339
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 3: really know that much, but anything you know and you

340
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 3: want to add to the comments, please do down below. Hope,

341
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 3: he says. The internet connection I was fluctuating at that time,

342
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 3: and I was charging my phone, so I decided to

343
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 3: borrow my partner's phone since he has offline games downloaded.

344
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 3: He was sleeping, so I wasn't able to ask for permission.

345
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,080
Speaker 3: And besides, we all borrow each other's phones all the time,

346
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,320
Speaker 3: and I have my biometrics saved in his phone and

347
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,520
Speaker 3: his in mind. So I got bored with the offline

348
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 3: games and so I decided to browse his gallery. I'm

349
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 3: really not the one type to go through another person's phone,

350
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 3: especially my partners, because I trust him. Something about this

351
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 3: day felt different, and for the first time ever, I

352
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 3: had this gut feeling to check the hidden stuff in

353
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,360
Speaker 3: his gallery. I checked the videos first, where it was

354
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 3: just intimate clips of us, but when I checked the photos,

355
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 3: I saw semi spicy picks of someone else. I felt

356
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 3: sick to my stomach. After seeing that, I investigated further.

357
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 3: I unhid the photos to see the time stamp, and

358
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,880
Speaker 3: it was saved this year, last August twenty twenty four.

359
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 3: I also saw a screenshot of his conversation with his brother,

360
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,199
Speaker 3: and there was a minimized call with the girl in

361
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 3: the hidden gallery. The time stamp of the screenshot was

362
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,639
Speaker 3: also around August, but I could not find the exact

363
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 3: conversation with his brother. I also try to search for

364
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 3: people on his messages who looked like the girl, but

365
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 3: I could not find it. But as I scrolled through

366
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 3: the messages, I also came across a different girl he

367
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 3: talked to last July twenty twenty four. Even went to telegram.

368
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:39,119
Speaker 3: There was not much obvious flirting in the messenger apps,

369
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 3: but no record of any Telegram conversation either, But I

370
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 3: think I knew what went on whenever he asked her

371
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 3: to check telegram. Look, there was a banana in your telegram.

372
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 1: And now we call it banana grams.

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Speaker 3: I was frantic and did not know what to do

374
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 3: with all that info. He was still sleeping soundly. I

375
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 3: also checked if he had other message in your accounts

376
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 3: logged in, but there was one. I could not access

377
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,400
Speaker 3: the full history since I was not sure of the password,

378
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 3: so I left it at that. He was only staying

379
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,280
Speaker 3: at my place for a week, so I was debating

380
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,639
Speaker 3: on confronting him while he was still here, or just

381
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,200
Speaker 3: leaving a picture of him sleeping in the hidden gallery

382
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 3: so he would know I already knew. I was almost

383
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 3: dizzy at first trying to decide what was next. I

384
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 3: tried to calm myself down, collect my thoughts, and once

385
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,400
Speaker 3: I did, I woke him up so we could talk. Oh,

386
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 3: right in the middle of the night.

387
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,679
Speaker 1: He can't sleep on it. You think you think, op,

388
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 1: he's gonna sleep on sleep. After that, you think, ope,

389
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 1: he's gonna sleep that.

390
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 3: I asked him about everything. I gave him the chance

391
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 3: to explain who the girl was in the screen shot

392
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,199
Speaker 3: with the minimized call. I asked who the person and

393
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 3: the photos in this Hillaton gallery was. I asked who

394
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 3: the girl he brought to telegram was, and I ultimately

395
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 3: asked him everything he lied to me about. Here was

396
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 3: a summary of what he did say. The screen show

397
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 3: was not recent, and neither was the photos in the

398
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 3: hidden gallery. He just went to his previous convo with

399
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 3: the girl who was apparently an ex.

400
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 2: Didn't they check the timestamps.

401
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 3: And decided to save the photos last August for reasons

402
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 3: I cannot even to begin to think about. I was

403
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,239
Speaker 3: adamant to find the convo with his brother just to

404
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 3: fact check the date, but apparently he just saved it

405
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 3: along with the spicy picks. It was sloppy work, but

406
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 3: he confirmed that it was taken away before I met him. Lawell.

407
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 3: Of course, he showed me the convo with the girl

408
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 3: and appears that we overlapped for a bit. He sent

409
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 3: photos of him taking inside my room to her and

410
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 3: even offered to give her a crocheted keychain I made

411
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 3: for him, which he watched me make. Okay, that's the

412
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 3: worst thing here. Forget about the pictures. She sending another

413
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,400
Speaker 3: girl a handmade gift that was made for you.

414
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 2: That's rough.

415
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 3: The giral he brought to the telegram was just a wild,

416
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 3: riffed playmate. And yep, they played a different game on

417
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 3: telegram too. Apparently there was another girl who's flirting with

418
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 3: this October of twenty twenty four. On another account, I

419
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 3: could not retrieve the messages history four. It was milder

420
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,919
Speaker 3: than the other ones, but still flirting. This was a

421
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,199
Speaker 3: lot to process, and I honestly did not know what

422
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 3: to do. But me being so good at keeping things

423
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 3: separate in my mind, or maybe just trying to rationalize things,

424
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 3: I tried to understand what the heck happened. He said

425
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 3: he did not know how to break it to me,

426
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 3: but was finally planning on doing this on his birthday

427
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 3: on the thirteenth of February of twenty twenty four. He

428
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 3: was afraid of losing what he had, so he kept

429
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 3: it in basically just the basic excuses. I tried to

430
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 3: pick his brain, asking his thought process when deciding to

431
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 3: go through with these decisions, but he said he really

432
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 3: didn't know. Okay, I'm just gonna stop you here. We

433
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: don't need to therapeutically conversate about why he thought about

434
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 3: doing this and what he was lacking. He cheated, all right,

435
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,239
Speaker 3: enough with the therapy talk fair. I feel like some

436
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 3: people are like Oh, I just felt like my inner

437
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 3: child was suppressed and I needed to do X y

438
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 3: Z so I felt like someone. I was being playful

439
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 3: with someone and I could actually express my true BS

440
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 3: that you, they didn't like you. That's it. During that time,

441
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 3: I was angry, disappointed, and hurt, but also numbing myself

442
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 3: so I could not lose control so we could just

443
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 3: talk about it. After considering the situation and trying to

444
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 3: understand the underlying factors that led up to this moment,

445
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 3: I decided to give him one final chance because I'm

446
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 3: kind of dumb. But I clarified one chance only full

447
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 3: transparency this time and set boundaries for now. I also

448
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 3: told him that I do not know when I will

449
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 3: forgive him. I just know that it will take time.

450
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 3: I feel kind of stupid for doing this, but I

451
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 3: want to believe that he could do it because I

452
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 3: do love him. We never really had any issues in

453
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 3: the relationship. We always communicated so well, or so I thought,

454
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 3: and he is my best friend first and foremost. Some

455
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 3: parts of me wants to root for him, so I

456
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 3: offered him the chance. I know things will be different

457
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 3: from now on, but it will take a lot of

458
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 3: work for both of us. But somehow, I just want

459
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: to believe. I want to understand. I want to repair.

460
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 3: You know what, Opie saying what I I. I want

461
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 3: to do this. I want to do that. I want

462
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: to repair.

463
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 2: He's got to be into it.

464
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 3: Try It's a two way thing. We have talked and

465
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 3: agreed on. Full transparency.

466
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 5: Yay, okay, good luck.

467
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 3: It's like a glass bathroom. It's just full glass see everything.

468
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: Yep.

469
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 3: Set boundaries and set up routines, and we'll check in

470
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 3: from the time being. We will see how I hold up.

471
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 3: I guess right now I cannot talk to friends since

472
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 3: everyone is still busy recovering from the typhoon, so I

473
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 3: cannot get any input from anyone one else but you, guys,

474
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 3: I guess, Holy cow, yes you can. If you could

475
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 3: post us on right you you could post a text

476
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 3: any of your friends and they'll tell you to break

477
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 3: up with them. Holy cow, what are you thinking that was?

478
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 3: That was wild?

479
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: Wow? Well, hopefully she's out of there by now.

480
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 4: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

481
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 4: the next one.

482
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: My fiance broke many of his promises, and now I

483
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 2: don't love him anymore.

484
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: Was his promise to love you and he broke that too.

485
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 2: I twenty three female, and my fiance twenty six mail,

486
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 2: have been together for four years. I got pregnant after

487
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 2: a year of dating, and we started renting a house together.

488
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: I warned him from five weeks into my pregnancy that

489
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: I would need help doing things around the house since

490
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: certain smells made me nauseous, and as I got farther along,

491
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 2: I was always exhausted. I asked him to do certain

492
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 2: chores during that time too. By the way, this comes

493
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 2: from Okay Freedom ninety seven ninety and if you want

494
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the RSASH okay,

495
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 2: storytime stub Rereddit. I'm Carly, I'm Riley, I'm key On,

496
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but we

497
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

498
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 2: would do, So let us know what you would do

499
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 2: in the comments and no Pie says he did some

500
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 2: of the cleaning and most of the cooking, since I

501
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 2: am a terrible cook, but I'm learning. The issue then,

502
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: was that I hated being the one assigning him chores,

503
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 2: like he didn't have eyes to see that the dishes

504
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: needed to be done or the laundry needed to be

505
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 2: put away. I let it go because I was only

506
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 2: working part time and he was working twelve hour shifts,

507
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 2: so I figured I should be grateful and put in

508
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: some more work. Right before our son came along, he

509
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: got a new job with better hours and higher pay,

510
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 2: which averaged out to be around the same he made

511
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,719
Speaker 2: at his previous job. I thought the eight hour workday

512
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 2: would free up some of his time and he would

513
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: help around the house more. I was very wrong. He

514
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 2: stayed home with me for one day after we brought

515
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 2: our son home, and then went back to work. I

516
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 2: did one hundred percent of the cleaning at this time

517
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 2: and about fifty percent of the cooking. He did not

518
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: lift a finger from day one of our son being home.

519
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

520
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 2: I packed his lunches, did his laundry spotlessly, cleaned the

521
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 2: house every night, and stayed up until three am to

522
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: do so what Once our sun was mobile, it was

523
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: harder to keep the house tidy. I was exhausted taking

524
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 2: care of him all day and then cleaning all night.

525
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: On nights when I would work, I would come home

526
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 2: to a disaster of a house and stay up even

527
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 2: later to clean just a bit. I stayed home with

528
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: him and worked two twelve hour overnight shifts a week.

529
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 2: He had promised me in the beginning of my pregnancy

530
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 2: that I would be a stay at home mom and

531
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 2: pay no bills. I own my car and my phone, insurance,

532
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 2: et cetera. Is paid by my parents until I'm twenty six.

533
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 2: But I did have a good chunk of savings in

534
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 2: case something changed. Moving in with him, I found myself

535
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: being the one to buy everything. I didn't expect him

536
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 2: to buy everything either, but I expected at least a

537
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 2: little bit of help. I bought our table, couch, and

538
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: many smaller things that quickly drained the savings I had.

539
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: I figured I would just save the money I made

540
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 2: working the two nights a week to rebuild my savings.

541
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 2: But when the baby, that one's not italics, that one's

542
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: got too little.

543
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 3: Baby that's interesting.

544
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 2: Needed something, I was the one always buying it. He

545
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: would complain about the groceries, so he did fifty to

546
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 2: fifty on the groceries. What then the rent was hurting him,

547
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 2: so we went fifty to fifty on the rents.

548
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

549
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 2: Mind you. I am related to the landlord. So we

550
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 2: got an amazing deal on this place, which was only

551
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: one hundred dollars more a month than he was paying

552
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 2: for the house he lived in before. It was a

553
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 2: crappy one bedroom compared to a nice three bedroom. I

554
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 2: was sick of paying the same amount as him while

555
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,959
Speaker 2: working half as much, all while doing one hundred percent

556
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 2: of the cleaning. He has also been going to the

557
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 2: casino recently and gambling. He would go lose two hundred

558
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 2: dollars and still complain about money like he wasn't just

559
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: throwing it away.

560
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 3: It sounds like he's almost there to double it. Do

561
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 3: not condemn this man's side hustle. I think he's on

562
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 3: his way to success.

563
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 2: And don't listen to rightly. I stopped doing certain things

564
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: that he needed, like packing his lunch, doing his laundry,

565
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 2: and washing all the dishes. He started doing that for himself,

566
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 2: but I was still annoyed that he only did things

567
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: that benefited himself and didn't help at all with what

568
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 2: benefited the household.

569
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 3: Yikes. This guy has the mentality of I want a

570
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 3: wife and kids, not I want to be a father

571
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 3: and a husband.

572
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: When I was pregnant, he said he would wash bottles,

573
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 2: bring me water you get really thirsty when it's feeding,

574
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 2: and said he would come home and take the baby

575
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 2: for an hour or so I could get some alone time.

576
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 2: That never happened. Bro. The only alone time I got

577
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 2: was from ten pm to three am when I was cleaning,

578
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 2: and if it wasn't too late, I would try to

579
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 2: get a shower. In got to the point where I

580
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: was showering about once a week and using baby wipes

581
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: as a touch up for when I leaked milk, didn't

582
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: have time to wash my face, spilled something on me, etc.

583
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,959
Speaker 2: When all of my anger built up, we would have

584
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: talks and they were always cut short because he would

585
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 2: fall asleep or have nothing to say. We had probably

586
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 2: had about ten serious talks that always ended the same.

587
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 2: I accepted his proposal a few months ago, thinking that

588
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: would make him try harder to earn me and change

589
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: his level of effort, but it didn't.

590
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 3: I really need to know what was his relationship like

591
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 3: with his father and how did his father treat his mother,

592
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 3: because this is being displayed right in front of us

593
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: right now.

594
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 2: Recently we had another talk about the same issue I

595
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 2: had been bringing up since the beginning. I decided I

596
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 2: was done, but I couldn't get the words out. I

597
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 2: regretted it not ending there because I was so close,

598
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 2: but I couldn't physically do it. Now he has finally

599
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,479
Speaker 2: listened to the things I've brought up in every past talk.

600
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 2: He picks up. He doesn't clean as far as wiping

601
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 2: down counters, sweeping the floor, or dusting, but picking up

602
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: really helps my late night cleaning go much faster. He

603
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 2: puts some laundry away and does most of the dishes.

604
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 2: This is all I wanted him to do in the past,

605
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 2: but now that he's fixed it, I resent him for

606
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: not fixing it sooner. Now that I'm not so focused

607
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 2: on being angry at the cleaning aspect of running a household.

608
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: I am annoyed with the financials. He has not bought

609
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: our son anything except fifty percent of his food and

610
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: a few small toys here and there since he was

611
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: three months old. He's now almost three. Christmas is coming

612
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 2: up and I've spent more than eight hundred dollars on

613
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 2: all of his gifts. I know it's excessive. I just

614
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 2: love buying him things. Now I am annoyed that he

615
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 2: doesn't have to buy, let alone think of anything to

616
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: get our sun. Yeah it's too little, too late, bud.

617
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 3: He this is ridiculous. See, we just keep having stories

618
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: about guys that don't unders, that don't do half chores,

619
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 3: half this. You know, work is tiresome and you should

620
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 3: be able to take a load off after work to decompress.

621
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: Sometimes you got other responsibilities at home you gotta do first. Though.

622
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe you don't need that much time to depress.

623
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 3: Some people think they need hours. Maybe you just need

624
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 3: twenty minutes of something. What I like to do when

625
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: I get home is that either work out, take a

626
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 3: little nap or shower, and then that kind of resets

627
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 3: me and then I'm ready to get hit the next

628
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 3: thing that helped, that has helped me do so many chores.

629
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: I was ready to end a relationship two weeks ago,

630
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 2: and I still feel the same way. But since he's

631
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: putting in the effort now, I don't know.

632
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 3: What to do well by it.

633
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: Will the love come back? Or will I have to

634
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 2: continue faking it forever? Do I stay for our sun

635
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: or leave for myself? I have resented him for over

636
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: two years, and I don't know if I have it

637
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 2: in me to be with him any longer. I want

638
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: to be happy, and I know I should should feel

639
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 2: better now that he has fixed what my biggest concerns were,

640
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 2: but I can't make myself feel something that isn't there.

641
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 3: Who knows what to do with these guys, I say,

642
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 3: I don't know. They need to go to class or something.

643
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 3: You know, they don't understand like issues. He you know,

644
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 3: how silly it is, like, Oh, I got divorced? What happened?

645
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 3: Why did you get divorced? Because I didn't clean up

646
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 3: around the house. That's probably the most reason why people

647
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:23,959
Speaker 3: get divorced.

648
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 4: Not that and cheating, And that's the end of the story.

649
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 4: We're gonna read the next one.

650
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Axelatel host.

651
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 5: Here.

652
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's

653
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister in

654
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: law said, I'm replacing her because I do things for

655
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: her daughter.

656
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 5: That doesn't make any sense.

657
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 2: I have my niece GG ten, who is the daughter

658
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 2: of my brother Chris and his wife Anna got it.

659
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 2: Anna became disabled when Gigi was four, triggered by an infection,

660
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 2: and ever since she has been mostly using a wheelchair.

661
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 2: By the way, this from Helpful is haunt. If you

662
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

663
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're

664
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: here to give good advice goufully, but we don't have

665
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: all the answers.

666
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 6: We only know what we would do, So let us

667
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 6: know what you would do in the comments, and op says,

668
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 6: obviously this has been hard on their family. Anna was

669
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 6: the center of their home, even though she had a

670
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 6: demanding job.

671
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: She had to quit the job, which was tough on

672
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: their finances, and she is no longer able to be

673
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: as involved with Gigi's school and extracurricular activities due to

674
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: her fatigue and accessibility issues. I help as much as

675
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 2: I can school pickup, driving her to dance practice, going

676
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 2: to school events if Chris can't make it, such as

677
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 2: chaperoning field trips. My husband and I even took Gigi

678
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: to Disneyland with us over the summer. I only do

679
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: what I'm asked to do and within the boundaries of

680
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 2: what I have time for, as I have my own child,

681
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: just whatever I can do to make things easier for

682
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: their family and for gig so she doesn't miss out.

683
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 2: Gigi's school is organizing a Christmas market, and she and

684
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: her friends volunteered to run a booth, which basically means

685
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 2: the parents end up helping. She asked me to be

686
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: part of it because Chris is really busy with work

687
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: around the holiday period. I confirmed with Chris that this

688
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 2: was the case, and he was really enthusiastic about me

689
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: doing it because it involves crafts which he doesn't have

690
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: time for. He is helping construct the physical booth, though, Okay.

691
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 5: That seems like way more intensive than some crafts and

692
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 5: crafts like I don't have time, but building an entire booth,

693
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 5: you want a whole booth I'm on now, I'm your guy.

694
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 2: So I got my daughter involved, and Gigi and her

695
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: friends came over to my house to make stuff for

696
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: the booth. Altogether, we are even making costumes. I thought

697
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 2: I was doing a good thing, and Gig seems so excited.

698
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 2: But on Friday, Anna called me and chewed me out.

699
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 2: Apparently she was never okay with me being involved with

700
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: the booth. She said, Chris building it was enough and

701
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: I should have just stayed out of it. I said

702
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 2: that Gigi asked me because they needed adults to help

703
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 2: out on the day, but Anna said she was sick

704
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: of me taking over all the mom stuff and that

705
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 2: Gigi needed to learn that if her parents couldn't make it,

706
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 2: that's just the way it is. She can't just replace

707
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 2: Anna with me.

708
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 5: That's so messed up.

709
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 2: I feel like that, like obviously was a very mean thing.

710
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

711
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 2: I do think it just comes from a place of feeling.

712
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 5: So left out.

713
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely, And I almost want to be like,

714
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: maybe instead of just going to all those things, could

715
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: we have just been like, how can I help you be?

716
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 5: At those times?

717
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 2: I told her that seems unfair to Gigi to not

718
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 2: be able to do things just because one of her

719
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 2: parents isn't able to be there. There have been times

720
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 2: I've taken Gigi to birthday parties that need supervision at

721
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 2: places like Trimple Parks, or taken her to dance competitions

722
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 2: where she didn't want to be the only one there

723
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 2: without a female adult to telp her change or do

724
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 2: her hair and makeup. If I hadn't done those things,

725
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: Gigi probably would have missed out. Anna said, well, that's

726
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,760
Speaker 2: Gigi's reality. She can't just ignore the fact that Anna

727
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 2: is her mother and this is the family that she

728
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,280
Speaker 2: was born into, not mine. I ended up telling Anna

729
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 2: that I'd never meant to disrespect her, but I made

730
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 2: a commitment to Gigi and the other parents, so I

731
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 2: was going to do the booth after that. If she

732
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: and Chris want me to step back, then I will. Honestly,

733
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 2: I'm really upset about the whole thing. I have my

734
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 2: own child. It's not like I'm trying to play mom

735
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: to Gig. I just want her to feel supported and

736
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 2: not miss out on anything. Chris does his best, but

737
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 2: he works crazy hours to support Anna and Gigi. I

738
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 2: thought I was doing the right thing by giving them

739
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 2: a village to help out as Anna's family isn't local.

740
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 2: I thought, since Gigi would come to me for these things,

741
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: we were doing right by her. It seems unfair that

742
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: she should not have the same experiences as her friends

743
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 2: because of something out of everyone's control. But I'm not

744
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,439
Speaker 2: her parent. Anna is. If Anna doesn't mind Gigi missing out,

745
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 2: maybe that's not my business. My own mom thinks Anna

746
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 2: is being unfair to Gigi with this request. But my

747
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 2: mom was the super involved type, and I know there

748
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,760
Speaker 2: are tons of kids whose parents don't make it to everything.

749
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 2: So maybe we're just an overbearing type and I went

750
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: too far? Am I the A hole come in one,

751
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 2: not the a whole. Hopefully Anna will cool off and

752
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 2: be able to see it from your point of view.

753
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 2: I think you've got to approach this generously and see

754
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: it as a part of being disabled. It's not about you.

755
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 2: It's her grief at the life she could have had.

756
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 2: Anne expected to before this life destroying infection. Now she

757
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 2: feels like she can't be a good mother to her daughter,

758
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 2: and she feels like you're out doing her with her

759
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 2: own kid. It's not about you. It's about Anna's powerlessness

760
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: and grief. It's about the illness and disability, let it

761
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 2: cool off, and then see if you can approach it

762
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 2: from a place of support and understanding. An edit, because

763
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: I see this coming a lot. The reason the craft

764
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: session was at my house is that one of the

765
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,280
Speaker 2: other girls was supposed to host it, but their house

766
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: is small for all the girls to take over the

767
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 2: whole living room, and mom also has another child and

768
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 2: was worried about supervising all the kids the whole day.

769
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: She messaged me privately and asked if I had the

770
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 2: space and time to host, and I did. Anna and

771
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 2: Chris's place doesn't really have the space in the common

772
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,399
Speaker 2: area to accommodate the craft making, and I know how

773
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: stressed Chris is by play dates and probably wouldn't have

774
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 2: wanted it at their house. I thought I was helping

775
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 2: out that mom by saying, yes.

776
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 5: I think that you came from place of good intentions.

777
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 5: And Anna is unable to see that because she's hurting emotionally,

778
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 5: and I think, yeah, I think you just go. You

779
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 5: go to Chris, You and Anna have a little conversation,

780
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 5: and you say, hey, I realize now that I've overstepped

781
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 5: and I should have checked in with both of you

782
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:08,959
Speaker 5: and you know whether or not you think that's true.

783
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 5: I think I think it's just nice for Anna to

784
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 5: hear it.

785
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 2: This is a good thing to do. Now. Yeah, I

786
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 2: don't think you really.

787
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 5: I don't personally think you overstepped, but I think Anna

788
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 5: would appreciate it and just say, like I want to

789
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 5: do what's right for Anna I or what's right for Gigi.

790
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 5: I don't think that just not having her parents show

791
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 5: up to things is the answer, but I want to

792
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 5: help you be there for her too.

793
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 2: I say yes to most things, not because I'm trying

794
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 2: to push anyone out or take over, but I guess

795
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 2: being a stay at home mom to one kid, I

796
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 2: feel like it's only fair I should take on a

797
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 2: bit of extra kid stuff for the other parents where

798
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 2: I can, and edit too. For anyone asking about Anna

799
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: being driven to things, driving Anna would mean I would

800
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 2: need Chris's car, which he needs for work because he

801
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 2: needs to haul stuff around. We can't swap cars because

802
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 2: mine can't be used for that stuff. So for me

803
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 2: to drive Anna and Chris's car, Chris needs to also

804
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 2: not be busy, in which case he wouldn't need help.

805
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 2: Chris does drive Anna to dance recitals, and sports activities

806
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 2: when he is available, and that's the end of that story.

807
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 5: I'm assuming that Anna needs the space for like a

808
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 5: wheelchair and stuff, and maybe that car, like maybe Chris's

809
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 5: car is already you know, accommodating and stuff and it's

810
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 5: got that whole thing that you can do with wheelchairs

811
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 5: and stuff and cars. I would say the answer here

812
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 5: is that you have to start working towards getting a

813
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 5: car or they have to work towards getting a car.

814
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 2: That Yeah, you know that one makes it a lot tougher.

815
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, that which is really hard, but like.

816
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 2: But hopefully that's something that y'all can figure out some

817
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: more there And that's the end of this story. We're

818
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 2: gonna go to the next one.

819
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 5: My parents are way better than my wife's and she's

820
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 5: loving it for her. Me and my wife are both thirty.

821
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 5: After dating for two years, we got engaged in April

822
00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 5: of twenty four. The conversation happened on the couch and

823
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 5: I used a Chinese website to build the ring she wanted.

824
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 5: When we let everyone know, you mentioned we were going

825
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 5: to have a small wedding at a park later in

826
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 5: the year date to be decided to save some cash

827
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 5: by the way, this comes from snow Ducks five six

828
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 5: five and if you want to smit your own stories

829
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 5: good at the arslash. Okay, storytime separated at I'm Sophia,

830
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 5: I'm Carly, and we're here to give goodvice scoofy. But

831
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 5: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

832
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 5: we would do, So let's know what you would do

833
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 5: in the comments, and Nop says we were dealing with

834
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 5: two cars, a decade old and a house from the

835
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:38,399
Speaker 5: eighteen hundred's shick whoa Saving money for the next big

836
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 5: thing is always a priority for us. My parents were

837
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 5: ecstatic and wanted to know how many of my family

838
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 5: could fly out to us. They're all on the East Coast.

839
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 5: We're in the Midwest. Her family said that was cool,

840
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 5: then launched into all the drama happening at her mom's

841
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 5: job as an admin for a city. We determined the

842
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 5: date would be a Veteran's Day because I'm a veteran

843
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 5: and I do what I want and we both get

844
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 5: the day off work. My parents and an aunt bought

845
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 5: their tickets. My wife's family said they'd see if they

846
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 5: could make it, because your parents normally do a cookout

847
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 5: or something that weekend. That's so funny to be like,

848
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 5: I don't know. We were like thinking about hosting a.

849
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 2: Party, so we didn't have any set plans. Yeah, I

850
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: still don't think we're gonna make it.

851
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 5: We just kind of want to keep our options open.

852
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 2: But if they say they're definitely not doing a cookout,

853
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 2: then they like, they sure be there.

854
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 5: My wife told them if they couldn't make it, it

855
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 5: wasn't a big deal. We'd text them picks of the wedding.

856
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 5: That's insane. That's insane. They're like, Oh, your wedding, that's

857
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 5: a pretty big deal. We'll let you know. I knew

858
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 5: your parents were pretty difficult and had been encouraging her

859
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 5: not to take crap from them because she wasn't financially dependent.

860
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 5: I'll be damned if some and I love gets their

861
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 5: feet hurt. But this really set the tone for any

862
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 5: future relationship I have with them. Her dad offered to

863
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 5: be the efficient, and my wife was pretty happy about

864
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 5: that because she had seen him do other weddings and

865
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 5: really liked how he did them. She sent him a

866
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 5: little three to five minute script of what we wanted said,

867
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 5: and I figured that was that. Two weeks before the wedding,

868
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 5: mother in law told my wife they may not be

869
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 5: able to make it to the wedding because they had

870
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 5: to work and didn't want to pull her two brothers

871
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 5: out of school. Side note neither of them worked on

872
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,879
Speaker 5: Veterans Day and there was no school. It was an

873
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 5: easy three hour Midwest drive for the afternoon. At the

874
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 5: end of the call, mother in law talked about how

875
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 5: father in law officiating might mean the whole plan had

876
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 5: to change. Little did that witch, No, My brother is

877
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,720
Speaker 5: effing officiated. Mother in law had made noise a couple

878
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 5: of times, but possibly not making it to something we

879
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 5: told them about six months in advance. I figured mother

880
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 5: in law and father in law were going to attempt

881
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 5: some control game, so I asked my brother if he

882
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 5: would back up officiate in case they did. My brother

883
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 5: is a huge fan of telling off a old parents.

884
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 5: He's a teacher, so he was chomping at the bit.

885
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,760
Speaker 5: In law's tune changed over the course of fifteen minutes

886
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 5: when we told him it wasn't a big deal and

887
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 5: that my brother would officiate. Part of the reason we

888
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 5: were doing the wedding cheap was that our roof had

889
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 5: started to have a lot of shingle issues and was

890
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 5: about twenty years old. Getting it replaced wiped out our

891
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 5: savings accounts, so we were rebuilding as best we could.

892
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 5: Whenever a member of my wife's family gets married, father

893
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 5: in law gives them a couple thousand dollars. He said

894
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 5: he'd do the same for us when we announced our engagement.

895
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 5: That never materialized, and when my wife mentioned it four

896
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 5: or five months later, he said it was because we

897
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 5: went with a free wedding so we wouldn't need the money.

898
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 5: He knew about the roof, he knew it drained the accounts,

899
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 5: he knew both our cars were over a decade old.

900
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 5: We aren't living paycheck to paycheck, but a down payment

901
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 5: for a new car or major house car work would

902
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 5: wipe us out. I just realized that the only wedding

903
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 5: gift we got from anyone on our side of the

904
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:21,479
Speaker 5: family was a plank of wood shark guoderie board, an

905
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,919
Speaker 5: effing real must have been having too much fun getting

906
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 5: married to give a crap. Two days before the wedding,

907
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,919
Speaker 5: mother in law said she wouldn't be able to help

908
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 5: my wife get ready because hotels were two expensive, so

909
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 5: they'd drive down in the morning and get there an

910
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 5: hour before the wedding. My wife said it was whatever,

911
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 5: and she was good at doing her own makeup. She

912
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 5: cried a bit at that one. Oh, I feel.

913
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 3: So bad for your wife.

914
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 5: Mother in law later found a hotel, but still wasn't

915
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 5: going to help with my wife getting ready because my

916
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 5: mother in law is a sea word.

917
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 2: I was like, I thought your mom was cool.

918
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 5: I hope his mom's cool. Mother in law not cool.

919
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 5: Any interaction I have with her insures she leaves frustrated

920
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 5: and understands. If I were allowed to fight her, I would.

921
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 5: By this point, I had already given my parents a

922
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 5: heads up that my wife's parents are crap and a

923
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 5: short rundown. My dad advised me not to instigate until

924
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 5: after the wedding. My mom said she'd help my wife

925
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 5: get ready because she loves my wife more than her

926
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 5: own parents do, because her parents suck at being parents

927
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 5: to her. The wedding went off more or less as expected.

928
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 5: Father in law officiated, but the three to five minute

929
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 5: val thing turned into about ten minutes because he decided

930
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 5: to add lib about some crap. I wasn't listening at

931
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 5: that point except for the I do part. Her family

932
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 5: except her sister, skipped the reception because they just wanted

933
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 5: to go home after shopping the entire day prior. Why

934
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 5: did you shop the entire day prior? What was the

935
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 5: point of that.

936
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 2: They just don't make sense that was.

937
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 5: More important than hanging out with their daughter the day

938
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 5: before her wedding. Any final thoughts, No, no, no, you've

939
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 5: got parents.

940
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 2: No, it's pretty straightforward. Parents, pretty cool, her parents, pretty bad?

941
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 3: Pretty uncool.

942
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't change your wedding. Your brother can officiate.

943
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 5: Well, they're already at the wedding. Father in law officiated.

944
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 2: But you had your backups that you seemed like you

945
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 2: were prepared for the worst if it was to happen,

946
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 2: and you also were gonna stand your ground. And maybe

947
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: we could just start.

948
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 5: To distance from these people.

949
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, and congrats you're married.

950
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 5: Congrats got a new family now. Oh, he says. They

951
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 5: lived about four hours from us. At the time, we

952
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 5: had visited twice. They had never visited us. When they

953
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 5: started pestering us to visit more, we told them they

954
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 5: could come up and we would visit down. Mother in

955
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,240
Speaker 5: law said, she isn't the kind of mom that goes

956
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,760
Speaker 5: to visit our kids. They can come to her, except

957
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 5: my three sister in laws who get visited regularly and

958
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 5: are further away. My parents are about eighteen hours by

959
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 5: car and kind of piss me off because they come

960
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 5: visit us all the day time. I have to make

961
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 5: sure I'm not a hypocrite. So we visit them back,

962
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 5: which is okay because they and my brother love hanging

963
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 5: out with my wife. It's like that, He's like, yeah.

964
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 2: They live eighteen hours away and they're making the drag

965
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 2: they're over all the time. Me. Yeah, I can see

966
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:28,399
Speaker 2: how it could be a lot.

967
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it seems like you got you got good

968
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 5: people around, you.

969
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 2: Got a support and I bet your wife is just

970
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: so happy to have those good people after just not

971
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 2: feeling that support from self.

972
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 3: Family.

973
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 2: Absolutely, let her have it.

974
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 5: Let her have it, please.

975
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

976
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,399
Speaker 2: to the next one. My sister in law made an

977
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:53,839
Speaker 2: insensitive comment about my husband, so I answered back, just.

978
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 3: Talk behind your back, Honestly.

979
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 2: Last night, my husband, our two year old daughter, and

980
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,919
Speaker 2: I were at my in laws. My sister in law

981
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,280
Speaker 2: and her husband and kids were there too. The topic

982
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 2: of one of their cousin's kids going to university came up.

983
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Active Storage twelve seventy five.

984
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

985
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

986
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 7: I'm Carly, I'm Riley, and I'm Vincent.

987
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but we

988
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

989
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 2: would do, so let us know what you would do

990
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: in the comments and op says. We talked about how

991
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 2: going to a good university helps in networking. I mentioned

992
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 2: how I had gotten my first business analyst job because

993
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 2: my interviewer had also gone to UFT. At this point,

994
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 2: my sister in law chimed in with the University of

995
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 2: Toronto missus Auga. Right, so not the actual one. My

996
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 2: husband said politely that it's the same thing, and she

997
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: just shrugged. I asked her where she went. She said

998
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 2: she went to University of Toronto and added Saint George campus.

999
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 2: I then asked how she's using her degree. I knew

1000
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: she's a stay at home mom, so maybe that was

1001
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 2: an a whole thing to do. Uh. She said she

1002
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 2: chose to be at stay at home mom and kind

1003
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 2: of stopped talking.

1004
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 7: To me.

1005
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: My husband thinks I was out of line. Admittedly I

1006
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 2: didn't think it through when I said it. I just

1007
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 2: said what came to mind. He says her question was tactless,

1008
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 2: but not malicious. I said it was rude and that's

1009
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 2: what mattered. The premise of it was just wrong. I

1010
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 2: have been reconsidering it. She has texted him about how

1011
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 2: out of line I was. I told her it was

1012
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 2: a misunderstanding between everyone and to let it go. And

1013
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: we have some relevant comments comment one not the A hole.

1014
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 2: She had something to say about the campus you went to,

1015
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 2: And one's one hundred percent being rude because she felt

1016
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 2: like hers was better. Your question was valid. What is

1017
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 2: she doing with her degree? She sounds like one of

1018
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 2: those people who like to talk about everyone but can't

1019
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 2: stand it when it's given back. Commentary two says and

1020
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 2: not the A hole. The UFT thing might not make

1021
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 2: sense to a lot of redditors. The Saint George campus

1022
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 2: is the main one. Well, Miss is Zouga and Scarborough

1023
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 2: can be seen as lesser, which is what the sister

1024
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 2: in law was likely implying. Yes, Op went low, but

1025
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 2: really only after the sister in law did first.

1026
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 3: I just want to say missus Auga. Sounds like they

1027
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 3: heard Mississippi and it wanted something like that in their

1028
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 3: own country. Maybe that's my theory.

1029
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 7: It sounded like they were trying to take Mississippi like

1030
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:29,320
Speaker 7: missus Salda.

1031
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,799
Speaker 1: Missus Alga just put a really heavy drawl on it.

1032
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,760
Speaker 2: Comment three. She started it, she deserved it. F around

1033
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 2: and find out. Comment four says, not the a hole.

1034
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: I will always hate people who can dish it out

1035
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,399
Speaker 2: but cannot take it. She wanted to put you down

1036
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 2: and couldn't deal with the clapback. In my opinion, rude

1037
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 2: is only the person who started it. Sure, we could

1038
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 2: all be perfect adults and be above it all, but

1039
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: that just reinforces the rude behavior. Your husband is like

1040
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 2: those teachers that turn a blind eye until the bullied

1041
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 2: kids fight. Commander five says, soft everyone sucks here. She

1042
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 2: was rude to imply your degree is worth less than hers.

1043
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 2: You were rude to imply that you think she's wasted

1044
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 2: her degree. You didn't have to take the bait. OPI responds,

1045
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 2: I know if I could do it again, I'd probably

1046
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 2: be more graceful. In my response, we acted like immature

1047
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 2: kids in front of our own kids comment six. You

1048
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: were both being snarky and catty, but she started it

1049
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,240
Speaker 2: and you finished it, or so you thought you both

1050
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: should apologize, Opie says, I'm honestly ready to apologize if

1051
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 2: she is. Oh, and we have an.

1052
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 3: Update, here we go. I'll apologize if she does.

1053
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 2: This is the issue here, op He didn't start this, though, Stop.

1054
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 3: Get out of here.

1055
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 2: Okay, he did it.

1056
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 3: I can't with this mentality, Corny, It's too toxic for me.

1057
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 2: I was heartened by all the not the Ahole votes.

1058
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,879
Speaker 2: I read a lot of the comments and really appreciated

1059
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: those saying I wasn't the instigator, so I was in

1060
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 2: the clear. As I read more comments and the way

1061
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: my sister in law was being mentioned, it made me

1062
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 2: feel bad. I don't blame the comments, they were only

1063
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: going by the context I had provided, But I took

1064
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 2: the fact that my sister in law being criticized heavily

1065
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 2: was making me uneasy as a cue to mend the relationship.

1066
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 2: She isn't a bad person. She and I aren't BFFs,

1067
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: but I've always been cordial. The not the a whole

1068
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 2: verdict gave me peace of mind that my reply wasn't

1069
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 2: totally uncalled for.

1070
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 3: You also went on a platform where everyone's a little

1071
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 3: petty too much. Just apologize, this is something to be upset.

1072
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 3: We should have not posted about this.

1073
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 2: If this was like a first interaction and she doesn't

1074
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,439
Speaker 2: do this all the time, it's like, yeah, we could

1075
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 2: have just been like, yes, I'm sorry and hopefully you

1076
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 2: just getting I'm sorry back. If she does this all, that's.

1077
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 3: Her personality, that's her way of life.

1078
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 2: Then she then it was more called for. So I

1079
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 2: asked my husband if she was still messaging him. He

1080
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 2: said she just sent a final wall of text about

1081
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 2: how hurt she was and then gone quiet. He told

1082
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: her that her remark was thoughtless. I told him I

1083
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 2: was willing to apologize if she did too. Last night

1084
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 2: I got a call from her. She said she realized

1085
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 2: that her comment about UTM had come across as insulting

1086
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 2: and that was not her intention. There we go, We

1087
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 2: got it. She said she was really proud of me

1088
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 2: and my career and how I juggled it with being

1089
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 2: a mother, and apologized for her remark.

1090
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 3: Now let's jiggle it, guys, let's go. I love forgiveness.

1091
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 3: I love it. This is really a minimal thing to

1092
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 3: forgive someone over.

1093
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with you. We probably didn't need to

1094
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 2: go to Reddit for all this. We could have just

1095
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 2: like waited a day and it would have kind of

1096
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:35,280
Speaker 2: just like fixed.

1097
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, But in the moment, dude, you get so like,

1098
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 3: what am I supposed to do with all these emotions,

1099
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 3: especially when.

1100
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 2: You're it's your husband's sister, so he has to kind

1101
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: of like listen to her a little bit too, Right?

1102
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 3: How's it go? Do they make up to the kiss?

1103
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 3: What happens?

1104
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 2: Definitely kids, Oh, he continues. I thanked her and said

1105
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 2: my comment about her degree was out of line, that

1106
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 2: she's an awesome mother, and my remark had zero thought

1107
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 2: behind it. It was just me saying whatever came to mind.

1108
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 2: She broke down a bit, and that honestly made me

1109
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 2: feel terrible. I teared up too, and we just agreed

1110
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 2: to put this behind us. As I mentioned in my

1111
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 2: original post, my reply was instinctive. I don't think she's

1112
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 2: wasting her degree, and I hope her comment had equally

1113
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 2: no thought behind it. But I'm glad I patched it

1114
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 2: up with her. And some final comments. Comment one, There

1115
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:29,359
Speaker 2: really wasn't another way to interpret that, was there? Comment two? Says,

1116
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 2: sister in law feels little, so she wants to make

1117
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: op feel little too. There's lots of degrees of this

1118
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 2: from veritable strangers trying to make people feel little, which

1119
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 2: is prime a whole behavior. Then there is your family,

1120
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 2: where someone may be feeling little for dozens of reasons

1121
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 2: and lashes out and then gets KOed by the response.

1122
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,399
Speaker 2: It's not cool to lash out, It's not unexpected when

1123
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 2: you get a proportional response back. But with the people

1124
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 2: you care about, there's always room for apologies and correcting

1125
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 2: behavior going forward. Someone replies, can we please just encourage

1126
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 2: people to be kind and forgiving? This wasn't some years

1127
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 2: long harmful pattern of which this was the latest example of.

1128
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 2: At least no such thing was mentioned. She did apologize

1129
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 2: and it seemed sincere, and went on to compliment Opie.

1130
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 2: I'm even on board with Opie's initial comment, as I

1131
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:24,399
Speaker 2: really think rude people, even unintentionally rude people, should not

1132
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,880
Speaker 2: be protected from consequences of their behavior. Why are people

1133
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 2: so quick to hurt others and keep grudges?

1134
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 3: Katie made a really good point. Ah, that was actually sincere.

1135
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 3: That's how apologies go. You gotta go to the level too. Now,

1136
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 3: just don't stay on the surface. You gotta go down

1137
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 3: a little bit.

1138
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,799
Speaker 4: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

1139
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 4: the next one.

1140
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keelan, your residential nerd. We're going to get

1141
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads

1142
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,280
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

1143
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 5: I snapped at my father in law all because a

1144
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 5: tub of manners, because what little bit weird title. But

1145
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:03,359
Speaker 5: it's true and I'm perplexed. Lol. This happened last night

1146
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,399
Speaker 5: when my wife thirty five and I thirty mail, had

1147
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 5: plans to get together with both of our families and

1148
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 5: have dinner at our house. By the way, this comes

1149
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 5: from fun mais ten seventy six and if you want

1150
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 5: to submit your own stories, go to the rslash Okay,

1151
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 5: story time separate it. I'm Sofia, I'm.

1152
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 3: Riley, I prefer dukes mats, and I'm vincent I prefer vegannies.

1153
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,240
Speaker 5: We have bi weekly hangouts, so this isn't anything special,

1154
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 5: only only only twice a week. We made burgers with

1155
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 5: a few sides, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, steam veggies

1156
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 5: and fries that people could choose from. My wife is

1157
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 5: the main cook in the house and has always been

1158
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 5: a fan of it since she was a child, so

1159
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 5: she makes delicious meals all the time with outstanding ingredients.

1160
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 5: Last night, she made Swiss cheese burgers with homemade mayo,

1161
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 5: minced garlic, finely chopped onion, pepper, salt, and Italian seasoning,

1162
00:56:57,360 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 5: paired with lettuce or basil, whichever family member preferred. That

1163
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 5: sounds so good.

1164
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,359
Speaker 3: It sounds really good, and Swiss cheese is hard to

1165
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 3: do if you don't bake it, so good luck on.

1166
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,279
Speaker 5: That her father has taken home leftovers before, since we

1167
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 5: would not only cook a decent amount, but because as said,

1168
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 5: her parents love her food that much. I can't blame

1169
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 5: them because I eat what we save is leftovers every

1170
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 5: single time. Ahha. When her and I were cleaning up

1171
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 5: and putting away the food for leftovers, her father asked

1172
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 5: if he could take home my wife's tub of homemade mayo,

1173
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 5: since he thinks it'll pair well with the food he eats,

1174
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 5: mainly a bunch of meats. Her dad is a huge

1175
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 5: grill guy. My wife told him no, that she's saving

1176
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 5: it for when she needs it for other dinners. The

1177
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 5: tub isn't even a regular size Mana's jar. It's a

1178
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 5: one gallon size container because she stalks in bulk with

1179
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 5: not only singular ingredients, but when she makes homemade foods

1180
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 5: such as sauces, she will bulk up on it like

1181
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:59,479
Speaker 5: it's no tomorrow because she knows she'll use it all

1182
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 5: in about him month and a half to two months.

1183
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 3: Two questions I need right now? One, how much do

1184
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 3: you have left to this mayonnaise?

1185
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1186
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 3: And two? Do we not have a little containers? If

1187
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,120
Speaker 3: I'm from the South, then I made something real sweet.

1188
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 5: I could put a little bit, but he was asking

1189
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 5: for the whole thing.

1190
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 3: Oh heck, well, Na.

1191
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 5: Her father said that she couldn't possibly need the entire

1192
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 5: container if she's only used what looks like a fourth

1193
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 5: of it, and that he'd make sure it's used. But

1194
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 5: my wife told them basically what I just said, that

1195
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 5: she stocks up because she knows she'll use it. She

1196
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 5: also told him that if he took it for himself,

1197
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 5: then she would have to go out and buy more ingredients,

1198
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 5: which would be a waste of money.

1199
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:37,959
Speaker 2: Why doesn't he just make his own?

1200
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 5: He scoffed and said that what she buys is cheap anyway,

1201
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 5: that him taking the sauce wouldn't hurt our bank accounts.

1202
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 5: He then opened the fridge, took out the gallon container,

1203
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 5: and searched around our cabinets for storage containers. While we

1204
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 5: were asking him what he was doing. He's just stealing it.

1205
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 5: He's just stealing it out in the open. He didn't

1206
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 5: bother to answer, which was irritating. He got a medium

1207
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 5: sized plastic container and a spoon from our utensil drawer.

1208
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 5: I asked him what he was doing, and he started

1209
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 5: untwisting the gallon's lid to dip out some. He told

1210
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 5: me that since he won't be able to take the

1211
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 5: whole gallon, oh, he'll scoop out a good push for

1212
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 5: him and my mother in law. I could tell that

1213
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 5: my wife seemed pissed off over this, and I was

1214
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 5: already on my breaking point because I can't stand when

1215
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 5: someone doesn't want another person to do something and that

1216
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 5: person completely disregards their please that. I think most people

1217
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 5: can't stand that.

1218
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 3: What's your deal here? Also? Do you want this gallon

1219
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 3: of mayonnaise over a relationship with me?

1220
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 5: I feel like that's what's on the line here. I

1221
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 5: feel like it's dad or the mayonnaise yep.

1222
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 3: And if he's like mayonnaise, I would give him a

1223
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 3: gallon and say I'd never want to see you again.

1224
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 5: You clearly want it more than anyone.

1225
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 3: Man it. This is such a random thing to be.

1226
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 5: He's pretty manic about it.

1227
00:59:56,680 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get if it was like steak sam, like

1228
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 3: a good cut of meat.

1229
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 5: What is in this mannaise? Presumably just eggs and oil.

1230
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 7: Also like he eats a lot of meat, which he's like, Oh, yeah,

1231
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,480
Speaker 7: this mayo is gonna go really well with all the

1232
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 7: meat that I've been eating.

1233
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 3: See, that's what I'm not buying too. Because he's definitely

1234
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 3: selling it on the side.

1235
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 5: Ooh, I told him with a stern tone. Yet you

1236
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 5: could clearly tell I was frustrated. Father in law's name

1237
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 5: wife said no, it's literally that simple, and for you

1238
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 5: to disregard her request to not take her food is

1239
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 5: actually a thing ridiculous. If you scoop any of it out,

1240
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 5: then I won't have you, mother in law, or any

1241
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 5: of my wife's siblings over again. You truly won't be

1242
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 5: able to have any homemade sauces. We really don't need

1243
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 5: people disrespecting us, even if they think it's not a

1244
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 5: big deal. My mother in law came in just as

1245
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 5: I was speaking to him. She stated that I'm an

1246
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 5: ungrateful host because my wife's father just appreciates his daughter's

1247
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 5: cooking so much, and he backed her up. But I said,

1248
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 5: we both appreciate that, but when someone doesn't want you

1249
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 5: to do something, why the f do it? That's like

1250
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 5: a basic following that a child in kindergarten can even comprehend.

1251
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,919
Speaker 5: Both of them just scoffed, grabbed their things, and left.

1252
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 5: My wife doesn't have an issue with what I said,

1253
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:26,560
Speaker 5: but I personally do. Was I being too harsh? It's

1254
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 5: really not like it'd be a huge deal if someone

1255
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 5: wanted a bit of my wife's homemade food or ingredients.

1256
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 5: But he didn't even ask, and when we both explained

1257
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 5: to him why he couldn't have any, he still disregarded

1258
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 5: it and tried to get some. I think what I'm

1259
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 5: ticked off at was that disrespect towards his own, fully

1260
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,200
Speaker 5: grown daughter. I'm ticked off at my mother in law

1261
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 5: and what she said to me too. How can I

1262
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 5: be ungrateful when he was the one who was being disrespectful.

1263
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 5: My wife got a text about an hour ago from

1264
01:01:56,640 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 5: her mom saying, well, after rethink, if we come to thanks,

1265
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 5: if we do, make sure. Ope, isn't there a shame

1266
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 5: we couldn't get a grab of the mayo? Stop bringing

1267
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:08,760
Speaker 5: up dang mayo?

1268
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 3: Uh dab it? I think I have an idea what's

1269
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 3: actually happening that is annoyous because I've recently been around

1270
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:19,800
Speaker 3: one in a family complex. Yeah, and after realizing the

1271
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 3: type of person they are, everything that they do and

1272
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 3: say has to be geared and aimed towards their pure happiness.

1273
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 3: And if it's not and it's slightly off, then nope,

1274
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 3: I'm done with this. And you mean nothing to me

1275
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 3: because you cann't please me.

1276
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, which is what we're saying here. She hasn't responded

1277
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 5: to it, but she's baffled by it. And so am

1278
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 5: I all of this because my mother in law's husband

1279
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 5: decided to act childish? Am I the a hole for

1280
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 5: the way I responded and for now causing this drama?

1281
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 5: What should my wife and I do about her parents?

1282
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 5: And edit? For anyone wondering or asking, it's not homemade mayonnaise? Whoa, whoa,

1283
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,040
Speaker 5: she didn't even make it homemade.

1284
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 3: Shut the front. That was the old thing, she said,

1285
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 3: earlier said she made homemade manaise.

1286
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:05,479
Speaker 5: You're freaking lire.

1287
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 7: Did I lead you guys astray?

1288
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 5: What she buys store bought in bulk so it can

1289
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 5: last longer, so she went up to keep buying or

1290
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 5: worry about having to use x amount and X amount

1291
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 5: of time. Comment once, it's not the a hole your

1292
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 5: wife said no, simple as that her father was disrespectful

1293
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 5: and childish. He caused the drama and her mother is

1294
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 5: continuing it. You simply stood up for your wife when

1295
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 5: she was being bullied, replied, This isn't about Mayo, It's

1296
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 5: about her dad doing whatever he wants like an a hole.

1297
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 5: I wouldn't respond and only make a small Thanksgiving without

1298
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 5: them on the guest list. If they decide to show,

1299
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 5: I tell them that we rethought Thanksgiving too and we

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Speaker 5: didn't make enough to share and close the door in

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Speaker 5: their faces. But that's the end of the story, folks,