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Speaker 1: I don't care if my wife's pregnant.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to clean up her cat's poopies.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, I want to have one baby with you.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have pool babies. You know, a

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Speaker 3: cat's essentially a little little baby boy.

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Speaker 2: You know, if imagine just a baby a human baby,

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Speaker 2: except they shrunk down, they grew claws from their baby fingertips, and.

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Speaker 3: Just are literally can't tell the difference between a human

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Speaker 3: baby and a cat, honestly indistinguishable. Ask me, like, regardless,

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Speaker 3: I'm punting both four Okay, I get it. I only

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Speaker 3: punch babies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I leave cats alone. Cats alone. I have some

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Speaker 1: animal God.

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Speaker 2: So my wife twenty eight and I thirty six, are

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Speaker 2: expecting our first baby.

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Speaker 3: Congrats a gas. Congrats, I guess, I guess whatever.

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Speaker 1: You know. Oh you got knocked up? Congratulations? Wow. I

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Speaker 1: can do that too. Yeah, put seemen in a vagina.

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Speaker 3: It's not that hard, stupid, Yo, I've basted a turkey.

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Speaker 1: Wow, delicious.

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Speaker 3: You know moist they call me when they're eighteen and

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Speaker 3: in Harvard, then I'll be proud.

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Speaker 1: There we go that. I'll be proud. How about you

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Speaker 1: raise your kid into.

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Speaker 3: Adulthood to be a good human seriously, Yeah, how about that?

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Speaker 3: Then then we'll we'll give you a round of applause,

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Speaker 3: but for just dumping some little little little baby ghosts

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Speaker 3: and in sad a little meat kid. I don't think

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Speaker 3: so no congratulations here nuts not it none, So that's

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Speaker 3: not it.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 2: Now, three years ago, my wife decided she desperately wanted

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Speaker 2: a cat.

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Speaker 3: I thought you were gonna say kid. Nope, no, no,

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Speaker 3: not a kid, a kid, book a kid. We're talking

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Speaker 3: about cats, the real children. What's great about a cat?

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Speaker 3: And you always choose to have a cat. That's true.

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Speaker 3: That is so true. Like a lot of times, do

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Speaker 3: you have like cats that just like come around? I

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Speaker 3: guess you have an apartment complex.

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Speaker 1: We don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, actually there's a neighborhood cat there. Yeah, we we

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Speaker 3: have a cat, Sammy. So Sammy at my place in

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Speaker 3: Sterling and they're like come in and be like, yo,

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Speaker 3: what's up?

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Speaker 1: I love that? Is that the fat orange one?

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Speaker 2: I love that cat is great cat, A very very nice,

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Speaker 2: cuddly cat. Now I hate cats and all animals in

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Speaker 2: the house really, so I was against children and children.

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Speaker 2: I hate them all. I look at my wife's stomach

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Speaker 2: and I'm like that's disgusting. Later, could you could you

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Speaker 2: get it out of my face?

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Speaker 1: Please?

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Speaker 2: Now she wouldn't stop talking about it, so we finally

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Speaker 2: made a deal.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what's the deal, John?

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Speaker 2: She would get a cat and it was her responsibility

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Speaker 2: and I would have nothing to do with it, to

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Speaker 2: which she agreed.

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Speaker 1: I think those are good parameters, you know.

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Speaker 2: No, Now she's stuck to her word and I stuck

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Speaker 2: to mine, and I mostly ignore this stupid cat.

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Speaker 1: Fuck that cat.

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Speaker 2: Fuck it, not literally, but uh, you know, metaphoric metaphorically.

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Speaker 3: Now she's pregnant, and one excuse me after another with

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Speaker 3: this woman?

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Speaker 1: Can you that just reason?

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Speaker 2: Can you just get this out of my face while

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Speaker 2: it's like growing inside you?

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Speaker 1: Like it's it's just too much. The deal is a deal.

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Speaker 3: I don't care if you're carrying our future son or daughter.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a shit. You're taking care of that cat. Sam.

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Speaker 2: I think your no sterdamis because you're foreshadowing of what's

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Speaker 2: about to happen too. Now she's pregnant, and she asked

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Speaker 2: me if I can scoop the litter until she gives

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Speaker 2: birth because of toxoplasmosis.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, you know what's toxic? This fucking cat. No way

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Speaker 3: in the hell I clean it up after this guy.

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Speaker 3: You expect me to help out with this kid and

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Speaker 3: your cat. I'm only one man, only one man. You

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Speaker 3: go be pregnant over there. Don't go take care of

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Speaker 3: your cat. Let daddy watch some sports on the sports television.

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Speaker 1: I built you a nice box. Into the room.

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Speaker 2: You walk into the box. I do my sports, my beer.

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Speaker 2: You stay in the box.

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Speaker 1: Stay in the box. Don't leave the box.

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Speaker 3: Now you get the deal. Hey, hey, I'm not a

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Speaker 3: cruel man. You could have the cat in the box

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Speaker 3: with you. What are you really gonna be that generous?

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Speaker 3: I mean, wow, yeah, they.

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Speaker 1: Show me the Malala of our generation. But oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: this is terrible.

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Speaker 2: But I looked it up and Sam, as long as

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Speaker 2: she wears gloves and washes her hands, she should be good.

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Speaker 3: So get to pick it up that ship, wifey.

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Speaker 1: What hold?

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Speaker 2: Let me see really quick, what toxic plasmas is. It's

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Speaker 2: an infection caused from a parasite, and the parasite can

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Speaker 2: pass to a baby during Pregnancyikes.

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Speaker 1: This this guy, what is wrong with this guy? Just

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Speaker 1: wear some gloves, Just wear some gloves.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, he is so out of it, take

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Speaker 3: care of the cat that he would rather his child

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Speaker 3: be like die plain dead then have to pick up

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Speaker 3: a piece of poop.

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Speaker 1: Bro. It comes out like a mix between a baby,

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Speaker 1: a cat, and a worm, and he's like everything I hate.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking of like something from like, there's got to

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Speaker 2: be a Rick and Morty of some sort.

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Speaker 3: Of think of the fly, you know, like when he

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Speaker 3: like he like gets combined with the fly.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that was the one where Jerry got to

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Speaker 2: Jerry right what Jerry was combined with the fly?

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Speaker 1: No, No, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Talking about like the fly of the movie with Jeff

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Speaker 3: Jeff Goldblum.

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Speaker 1: No I did.

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Speaker 3: John has not seen anything before like thousand, I don't

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Speaker 3: watch I don't watch a fly. I've never even heard

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 1: You ever heard of the fly? I never heard of it? Goldbloom?

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Speaker 1: Who Wow.

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Speaker 2: Back to the parasite about to rock this baby's world.

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Speaker 2: So she wasn't happy when he told her that he

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Speaker 2: wouldn't pick up the cat feces.

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about? You talking about?

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Speaker 2: But I reminded her of our agreement when we got

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Speaker 2: the cat. I told her it was her responsibility and

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Speaker 2: if she didn't want to take care of it anymore.

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Speaker 2: With the new baby coming, then we can get rid

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Speaker 2: of it and find it a new home.

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Speaker 1: The baby, the cat. I know, I was like, interesting

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Speaker 1: word choice, my friend.

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Speaker 3: He does not want to take man is not such

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Speaker 3: a dog person.

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Speaker 1: Like it's it's not that serious.

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Speaker 3: Also, like in terms of work load, cat's like probably

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Speaker 3: the least workload.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely the least, Absolutely the least. It's it's the litter

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Speaker 2: box every three days. Maybe if you want to make

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Speaker 2: sure it's staying.

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Speaker 3: Well, how about you get a self cleaning litter box.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I'm sure those exist. She said no, and has

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Speaker 3: been scooping up the litter. Her sister was over and

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Speaker 3: saw her doing this and flipped out at me, telling

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Speaker 3: me how dangerous it is. But of course her sister

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Speaker 3: is going to be on her side and overreact. Yow,

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Speaker 3: how is this this woman with this man?

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Speaker 1: Ope, he's a dick.

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Speaker 2: Listen, he's he had an agreement as he's a man

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Speaker 2: of his word. He's like Perry, this contract of this

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Speaker 2: conversation I wrote down. I never wanted the cats, So

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Speaker 2: I don't see how I'm wrong.

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Speaker 1: You can't see it, Sam, Yeah, with as big as

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Speaker 1: dumb as head.

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Speaker 2: You know he's he's blinded by he can't do no wrong.

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Speaker 1: He can't do no wrong, dude. I okay.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like, is this not like a red flag

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Speaker 3: that you're like, maybe I shouldn't have a child with

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Speaker 3: this man that won't lift a finger to carry some

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Speaker 3: cat poop.

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Speaker 2: You would think you would think, like, girl, get out

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Speaker 2: of this please. If anything, please run