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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, hey, Lyral, what's up?

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Speaker 2: What's up? Man? What's your name?

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Speaker 1: Uh? My name is Sweet James.

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Speaker 2: Sweet James, Sweet James. To what do I owe the honor?

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Speaker 2: Sweet James?

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Speaker 1: Well, I was hoping I'm a text call your attention,

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Speaker 1: and luckily you did.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what you texted me. Uh I

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Speaker 2: just called this number randomly.

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Speaker 1: Oh no way, I'll feel honor. Man.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, well, what did you text me, Sweet James?

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Speaker 1: I forgot to be honest, it was a while ago.

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Speaker 2: But are you not You didn't forget. I know exactly

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Speaker 2: what you texted me. You texted me and you said

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Speaker 2: your show should be canceled.

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Speaker 1: Oh so you also lied to me and you say

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Speaker 1: you didn't see it, but you did see it.

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Speaker 2: I did. I lied to you. I lied to you

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Speaker 2: because I wanted you to. I wanted to hear it

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Speaker 2: from you.

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Speaker 1: I don't uh you know, I felt about it that

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Speaker 1: way when I first left into you. Don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: I did. But then like I just kind of like

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Speaker 1: got addicted to the show. I'm like, oh man, this

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Speaker 1: is some real life ship right here, you know.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I want to Here's the thing is I want

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Speaker 2: to like I called you, And then there was another

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Speaker 2: guy who was like, you need to get a real job,

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Speaker 2: and I want to have a conversation with someone who

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Speaker 2: like just actually genuinely really hates me. I think that

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Speaker 2: would be an interesting conversation, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I want to I want to fight someone on here.

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Speaker 2: Everything it's like it's always you know, therapy is nice,

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Speaker 2: but it'd be I wanted. I wanted. I like an argument.

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Speaker 2: I want to argue with someone.

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Speaker 1: You see, hate. Hate is such a strong word. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's not hate.

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Speaker 2: It's like, well, sorry, go ahead, I want to let

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Speaker 2: you finish.

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Speaker 1: No, I was gonna say, I think it was more

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Speaker 1: of like I said, at first, when I first started

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Speaker 1: listening to your podcast, I didn't like open my mind

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Speaker 1: to what you were trying to actually, you know, help

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Speaker 1: well I would say help people out, but you were

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Speaker 1: actually trying to listen to people and then give them

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Speaker 1: a bias if you can. At first, I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh man, this this guy is just you know, I guess,

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Speaker 1: exposing people in their things. But then like you can't

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Speaker 1: really expose them because they're the one calling. So I

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Speaker 1: was trying to Like I was, I was like, let

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Speaker 1: me see what you know, what this is about. And

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Speaker 1: I started going from episode to episode to episode, and

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Speaker 1: they just kind of got deeper and deeper and help

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Speaker 1: people have all these real life problems. And it made

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Speaker 1: me think, like, oh man, Like I I'm complaining about

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Speaker 1: the littlest shit, but there's people out there in the

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Speaker 1: real world that actually going through shit. And that's why,

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Speaker 1: you know, slowly started off getting uh, the attention of

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Speaker 1: listening to your show. I'm just like, oh man, I

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Speaker 1: gotta be real really lucky to be where I'm at

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Speaker 1: and and appreciate the little things because some people have

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Speaker 1: really bad you know.

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Speaker 2: So what's going on with you, sweet James?

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Speaker 1: Oh man, I I've been doing this better.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: I did went through some ship like two years ago,

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Speaker 1: three years ago, but I'm doing better. Uh two three

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Speaker 1: years ago, man, I I'm my fucking baby. Mama cheated

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Speaker 1: on me and she fucked this guy while we're still

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Speaker 1: living together, and she slept over at the guy's house

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Speaker 1: while we were still living together. That really fucked me up.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I got I got the press. I

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Speaker 1: became an alcoholic just to drown my demons. That led

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Speaker 1: to a d d U I and that was like

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Speaker 1: my wake up in jail.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I have this kid and he's

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Speaker 1: relying on me and I'm fucking here in the stale.

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Speaker 1: So that really woke me up. And I just been

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Speaker 1: kind of you know, I'm not saying I was sober,

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Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't. I barely drink now. So

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Speaker 1: it's definitely changed me a lot. And right now I'm

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Speaker 1: in a good spot. I have a good job, I

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Speaker 1: have my family that supports me with my kid. I'm

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Speaker 1: saving the money. I'm looking to get my own place.

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Speaker 1: It's been great, man, I can't complain.

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Speaker 2: How long ago were you in jail?

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Speaker 1: Just like like a night, like a day type of thing.

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Speaker 2: How long ago, dude?

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Speaker 1: I was like twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, So it's been a couple of years.

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Speaker 1: And the fucked up thing was that it was my

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Speaker 1: mom's birthday that day and I got sucked up that night,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't a good birthday present from my mom.

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Speaker 2: So you got a good job now, and you've got

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Speaker 2: families helping take care of your kid. How old are

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Speaker 2: your kid?

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Speaker 1: He's four, man, he's gonna be five in April. He's

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Speaker 1: gonna go to school this year, so time going by fast.

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Speaker 1: Once you have a kid, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, Wow, how old are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty eight? Man?

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Speaker 2: Cool?

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Speaker 1: Cool?

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Speaker 2: And what's up with the mom?

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Speaker 1: Ah, dude. I was just talking about it with my

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Speaker 1: homie last night, so I don't want to put it

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Speaker 1: out there. But she her mom. When we started dating,

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Speaker 1: she let me live with her and my baby mama

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Speaker 1: for a little bit. But I thought they were nice

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Speaker 1: and cool at first, but then I kind of really

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Speaker 1: started seeing what was going on with her family. It

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Speaker 1: was just like a lot of trauma back then, and

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Speaker 1: so I was like, all right, well, we need to

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Speaker 1: get out of here. So I got an apartment, Me

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Speaker 1: and my baby Ama moved to the apartment. But then

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Speaker 1: I slowly started saying that she was like being the

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Speaker 1: same as her mom, and she will tell me, She'll

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, I don't want to be like my mom.

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Speaker 1: So I started doing like, like, you know, like let

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Speaker 1: me know. But at the time, I was like, who

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Speaker 1: am I, you know, to tell you how to live

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Speaker 1: your life. And then once we had our kid, it

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Speaker 1: was it was kind of hard because she so her mom.

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Speaker 1: She uh, you know whatever. She has a couple of

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Speaker 1: kids sold from different dads, so she kind of grew

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Speaker 1: up around that kind of trauma and I didn't want

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Speaker 1: that for our kid, and apparently she did it either

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Speaker 1: at the time. So I try to work that out.

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Speaker 1: But it's just those people that are so traumatized that

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Speaker 1: they don't see it, you know what I mean, They

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Speaker 1: don't see how how fucked up their life was. She

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Speaker 1: just thinks it's any other regular day, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: And so on. Yeah. Oh, and I was just gonna

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Speaker 1: say so, like, yeah, that kind of that cycle kind

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Speaker 1: of repeat it between you and unfortunately it just didn't

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Speaker 1: work out.

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Speaker 2: So is she still like have an active role in

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Speaker 2: your in your kid's life.

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Speaker 1: So we we co parents. I have him half the week,

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Speaker 1: she hasn't the other half of the week. We we

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Speaker 1: definitely get along more as parents than a couple, which

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Speaker 1: is fine. Only the lemma is that once uh shit

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Speaker 1: happened between us and we broke it off, she kind

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Speaker 1: of just started partying and kind of you know, going

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Speaker 1: from God to guy and whatever, each on their own,

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Speaker 1: but she relies on guys financially. So she dates a

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Speaker 1: guy for like three four months. She moved. She moves

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Speaker 1: into their place and she brings my kid and that

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Speaker 1: kind of bothers me because she just bringing your kids

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Speaker 1: to random dudes.

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Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, I get what you mean. How does

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Speaker 2: I mean does that? Do you notice a way in

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Speaker 2: which that affects your kid?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, Like, at first, he was like

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Speaker 1: two when we first broke it off, so he, you know,

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Speaker 1: did really understand. But now that he's being five, he's

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Speaker 1: catching up with the world, so he definitely kind of

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Speaker 1: I know he sees, you know, dudes come in and

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Speaker 1: out of his mom's life. But I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: been affected because you know, he still calls me his dad.

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Speaker 1: He still knows that I'm there for him. You knows

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Speaker 1: I'm his real dad. But I know over time, he's

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Speaker 1: probably gonna go to the same trauma she did, and

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Speaker 1: I don't want that.

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Speaker 2: Well, what makes you feel like he's he's going to

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Speaker 2: go through the same trauma that she.

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Speaker 1: Did because she can't like how do I say, Like

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Speaker 1: she can't focus on herself, she has to rely on somebody.

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Speaker 1: She needs somebody's attention to move on with her life.

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Speaker 1: Because that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: You said she needs somebody's attention or like she she

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Speaker 2: needs a guy who will like take care of her

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Speaker 2: and her child.

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Speaker 1: I guess both in a way. Like I said, the

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Speaker 1: relationship doesn't work with whatever guy she's with, and she

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Speaker 1: quickly moves on to another, and so on and so on,

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Speaker 1: and it's kind of being a psycle now to this point,

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Speaker 1: like she can't be vayable, not even for her own

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Speaker 1: she can't even think about it for our own kid.

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Speaker 2: You know, you know it's tough, man. I feel like

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Speaker 2: the only thing you can really like, Like, I feel

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Speaker 2: like you have a lot. I mean what you have?

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Speaker 2: Like what fifty to fifty custody?

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Speaker 1: No? I mean no, Well, she put me on child

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Speaker 1: support because they needed some kind of medicaid for the kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh there's another thing. By the time, she was living

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Speaker 1: with this guy, and she lied that she was a

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Speaker 1: single mom. So they were like, wor's the dad, and

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Speaker 1: they looked for me. And now I'm paying for his medicaid,

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Speaker 1: which I'm fine with that because we need a doctor.

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Speaker 1: And I'm also paying for his child support. But we

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Speaker 1: still copare, which doesn't really make sense.

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Speaker 2: You know, how often do you see your son?

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Speaker 1: I have the Thursday through Sunday, she has some Sunday

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Speaker 1: through Thursday.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's more or less fifty fifty.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, But the other thing is, like my family

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Speaker 1: never got involved with her problems. It's always always it's

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Speaker 1: always been myself against her and her family. Uh, you

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Speaker 1: know she's Asian, so you know her her parents always

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Speaker 1: gonna get involved. Oh they always you know, want to

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Speaker 1: get whatever the dad says it's gonna go. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's what it's been hard on me.

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Speaker 2: Well let'sten listen here. I mean, I don't know, man,

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Speaker 2: I kind of feel like, yeah, I know it's it's

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Speaker 2: definitely hard. But like, dude, there's this like you can

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Speaker 2: only really use so much, like well you could, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can only really play defense in this situation, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like like you legally relinquish fifty

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Speaker 2: of the custody of the child to your ex wife

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Speaker 2: or ex girlfriend or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And.

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Speaker 2: You know that you gotta you have to in some

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Speaker 2: way surrender to that unless if you like, unless if

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Speaker 2: you believe that there was like a legal basis by

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Speaker 2: which she is like actively bringing harm or neglect or

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Speaker 2: abuse to your child. If it's if there's something like

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Speaker 2: that going on, you have more options. But if it's

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Speaker 2: just like, oh, she's just bringing him to all these

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Speaker 2: like weird guys and like he's getting a lot of

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Speaker 2: like impressionable dudes, and it's just like kind of weird,

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Speaker 2: Like it's not it's not enough for it to be

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Speaker 2: like something you can fight against. And so in that situation,

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Speaker 2: all you can really do is play defense, which just

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Speaker 2: to me and which honestly is to me and exactly

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Speaker 2: what you're already doing from what it sounds like, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, being like, when he's with you,

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Speaker 2: you're like, I'm your father. You can always trust me,

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Speaker 2: you can always you always have my support, you can

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Speaker 2: tell me anything you can. I will always be there

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Speaker 2: for you, like all these things that you're telling me

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Speaker 2: that you're doing. He'll be fine, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 2: like I don't I don't know. I don't know exactly

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Speaker 2: what's going on with when he's not around, right right,

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Speaker 2: But but you but when he is around, he's with

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Speaker 2: you half the fucking week. That's a lot. That's a

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Speaker 2: lot of time to just do. Again, dude, just doing

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Speaker 2: exactly what you're doing, Like, don't like, dude, honestly, can

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Speaker 2: I be honest with like this is just speaking out

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Speaker 2: whatever you're fighting with this woman and her family. Don't

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Speaker 2: fucking do that. That's just gonna you like take all

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Speaker 2: your mental energy and focus it on like being the

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Speaker 2: best version of yourself that you can be and also

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Speaker 2: uh just being the best like fucking dad that you

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Speaker 2: can be to your kid. Like and it's everything that

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Speaker 2: you're already doing again, just like making sure that your

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Speaker 2: kid knows that you're there for them and and like

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Speaker 2: showing it right. But like what what, like are what

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Speaker 2: the fuck do you need to be arguing with your

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Speaker 2: ex girlfriend's mom about? You know what I mean? Like

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Speaker 2: like if I if.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I was gonna say, well, can I tell

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Speaker 1: you a quick story about one of her boyfriends and

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Speaker 1: why I started thinking that way? So Tuesday in this

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Speaker 1: zoo right and you know, she dated him for like

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Speaker 1: two three months, moving with him right away, brought my kids.

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Speaker 1: She lied about it. She said he was staying with grandma.

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Speaker 1: Of course I know he wasn't staying with grandma. The

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Speaker 1: dude was like bipolar, So that was one of my

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Speaker 1: concerns when she dropped them off and they were kind

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Speaker 1: of arguing. So I'm like, you know, like I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well try not to argue in front of my kid,

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Speaker 1: because me and her, we never argue in front of him.

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Speaker 1: Uh So, you know, I thought, you know that you

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Speaker 1: didn't want that around him. And one time she wanted

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Speaker 1: me to. She had a slow day at work, so

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Speaker 1: she was like, hey, can you can you guys come in.

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Speaker 1: I'll hook you up with some food and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: I just want to see him. I'm like, yeah, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: I brought him, man, you know whatever. We ate and

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Speaker 1: she clocked out and we're walking back to the parking lot,

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Speaker 1: and to do it was kind of like controlling because

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Speaker 1: he will drop her off and pick her up with

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Speaker 1: her own car, and I was carrying my kid and

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Speaker 1: you know whatever she w wasn't with her. Dude, I

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Speaker 1: was going back to my car and I just looked

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Speaker 1: at him for a second and then I looked back

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Speaker 1: and he jumps out the car. Dude, he jumps out

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Speaker 1: the car, and he's like, what what the fuck are

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Speaker 1: you looking at this?

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Speaker 3: This?

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Speaker 1: And that? All while I was trying to hold my kid.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, like, are you fucking serious? Like I'm

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Speaker 1: holding my kid and you're trying to find me while

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Speaker 1: I'm holding my kid, and then I told her, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: LOI is what the fuck I'm talking about? Like you

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Speaker 1: Kim been bringing this kind of dudes around him, and

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Speaker 1: so that kind of started me a little bit because

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Speaker 1: if he did that ship to me in front of

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Speaker 1: my kid, like, I can only imagine how the as

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Speaker 1: you know, when I'm out around. Yeah, and that's why

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Speaker 1: I got me thinking a lot, like man, like she's

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Speaker 1: just doing like.

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Speaker 2: You know, I feel like I still I still stand

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Speaker 2: pretty firm on everything I'm saying, which is like, well,

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Speaker 2: so for so for example, right like, uh, you know,

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Speaker 2: you're you pick up your kid and then you see

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Speaker 2: that your ex girlfriend and this guy like screaming fighting

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Speaker 2: at each other, right, and you're like, what the fuck

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Speaker 2: can you not be doing that in front of Like why,

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Speaker 2: Like I just like I want to fuck it. I

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Speaker 2: don't want my kid hanging out in this environment.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: You're you're you're crippled by the fact that you you

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Speaker 2: rightfully owe fifty percent custody to his mother to raise

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Speaker 2: him how she sees fit because she's his mother. You

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Speaker 2: know you got fifty percent. So listen, like in your situation,

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Speaker 2: the second you get your kid back you you know,

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Speaker 2: don't I the one You don't. What you don't want

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Speaker 2: to do, in my opinion, is like talk shit about

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Speaker 2: his mom, talk shit about like you don't want to

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Speaker 2: be like your mother. You don't. You don't want to

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Speaker 2: try to like pit your because because your kid's mom still,

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Speaker 2: because it's still because the kid's it still's mom. It's

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Speaker 2: stills mom. It's someone he loves and cares about. So

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Speaker 2: you don't want to be like, uh, pitting him against

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Speaker 2: her and being like, you know, like you don't want

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Speaker 2: to treat it like you're you're interrogating him or collecting

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Speaker 2: intel or anything like that. You know, but but you

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Speaker 2: do have an opportunity to sit down, to sit with

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Speaker 2: him and be like, hey man, listen just so you know,

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Speaker 2: if anything happens, you can always, dude, just what you're

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Speaker 2: doing already. If anything happens, I have your back. You

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Speaker 2: can tell me anything I got you, so like listen

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Speaker 2: till for example, like like God, God forbid, and I

328
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Speaker 2: don't know what's going on in your brain, but if

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Speaker 2: like God forbid, like one of her like crazy ex

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Speaker 2: boyfriends like puts a hand on your kid, right, like

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Speaker 2: I know it's it's it's a thing where you're like,

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Speaker 2: uh uh fuck, I don't even wanna be have my

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Speaker 2: kid be in fucking situations where I can imagine that happening, right,

334
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 2: But but you're that. But you're there in case if

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00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 2: he's over with his mom and some shit goes down,

336
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,399
Speaker 2: like he has someone he can he can talk to

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Speaker 2: about it and handle it like a fucking adult. You know,

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Speaker 2: he's that he doesn't feel like he's alone because he

339
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 2: we don't want him to feel like he's alone, But

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Speaker 2: you also don't want him to feel like he's he's

341
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Speaker 2: like at war or or that he's like you know,

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00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 2: being pit against you know, uh, each other, because that's

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00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 2: not fun either. You know, my my parents are divorced,

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Speaker 2: and I I I don't think I mean my parents

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Speaker 2: are are are good with each other now, but I

346
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 2: don't think it's a good healthy thing to like, uh,

347
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,880
Speaker 2: for parents to be like talking talking shit about each other,

348
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Speaker 2: you know. So so yeah, you're doing the best thing

349
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,239
Speaker 2: that you could be doing, which is just making sure

350
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,880
Speaker 2: you're there for him and letting him know that if

351
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Speaker 2: some shit goes down, uh, you got him. But also

352
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,160
Speaker 2: you know, having also in this way like for your

353
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 2: own mental clarity, like surrendering to the fact that, like

354
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:25,120
Speaker 2: when he's not with you, there's unfortunately like limited things

355
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 2: that you can do to protect him, which is which

356
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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not going I'm not going to lecture

357
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Speaker 2: you about being a father. I don't have kids.

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Speaker 3: You do.

359
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 2: But the thing about like when he when your kid's

360
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Speaker 2: not with you, you can't protect him, isn't That's kind

361
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Speaker 2: of part of parenthood at a some degree, is being like,

362
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:52,399
Speaker 2: your kid's gonna go to school, your kid's gonna do

363
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 2: like your kid is their own person, in their own

364
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Speaker 2: Your kid is in like your kid as like a

365
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Speaker 2: citizen of the planet. Is like, imagine you have like

366
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Speaker 2: a friend or like someone you really care about that

367
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 2: has like a shitty girlfriend or a shitty mom. You're like,

368
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Speaker 2: You're like, it's like you know what I mean, It's

369
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Speaker 2: like this is a person. This, your kid is like

370
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Speaker 2: a fully fledged person you care about that's in a

371
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Speaker 2: shitty situation, which is that his mom is bringing him

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Speaker 2: around dudes who are like fucked up or whatever. And

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Speaker 2: just like if you have just just like if you

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Speaker 2: have a friend who has like a shitty girlfriend, it's

375
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: like this you could always tell you tell your friend.

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Speaker 2: That's what you tell your friend. Hey, brother, listen, if

377
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Speaker 2: you need something, I got you. If you need I'm

378
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: your friend, I'm your father or whatever. But you can't.

379
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 2: But you also surrender to the fact of like, fucking

380
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 2: nothing I can do. He's that's that's that's his that

381
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 2: is his mom.

382
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Speaker 3: You know.

383
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 2: So don't like I just I say this not to

384
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Speaker 2: be like defeatist, but I say it just to like

385
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 2: kind of spare you a little bit of mental energy.

386
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 2: I suppose do you get what I'm saying? Does ever listen?

387
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 3: Ask?

388
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 2: So I don't have kids that you do, So tell

389
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 2: me if any of this sounds fair, No.

390
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: It goes, it makes sense. I feel like at some

391
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: point he's going to see it himself, like, oh, like

392
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:32,919
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going I'm going around. Uh, I'm going around. No,

393
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 1: no bad.

394
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,639
Speaker 2: I feel like I want to hear what you had

395
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,120
Speaker 2: to say. But I'm just curious where you are.

396
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,880
Speaker 1: Oh I just got home, but my parents were living

397
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: so they asked me if I had keys to the house.

398
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 1: But okay, okay, But I feel like he's going to

399
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 1: see that himself, you know what I mean, Like I

400
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: wouldn't really have to explain much myself. I feel like

401
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,679
Speaker 1: he's going to see it. He's going to be like,

402
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 1: what the fuck is my mom doing bringing all these

403
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 1: dudes around, And meanwhile, I'm just chilling doing my thing.

404
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: I'm not bringing any woman around him. So he's gonna

405
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: see himself. He's gonna, you know, I see HS is

406
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: gonna acknowledge it, and you know, but it's gonna kind

407
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: of suck for me. I kind of feel bad, like,

408
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 1: you know, in a way, but yeah, of course, of course.

409
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean like it was harder for us.

410
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 1: It was definitely hard man. That was that was my

411
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: my darkest time, because she just moved on like nothing happened,

412
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: Like she just didn't bring her family. I'm like, you

413
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: y'all here partying and fucking dudes, and I'm over here

414
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: behind the press. You you you tear a friendly apart.

415
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 1: But I guess everybody coops different, you know, like, And

416
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 1: it's funny because at the time that all that shit happened,

417
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 1: or or least was uh coming up. So we're looking

418
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: for a new apartment and then I was like, well,

419
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: screw that, I'm gonna move back with my parents. So

420
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: we're we're packing stuff, and my kid had his own

421
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: room and we unpacked his room last, and it kind

422
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 1: of me up that we had to split had him

423
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: happen half his stuff, you know, And yeah, I know,

424
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: and she didn't care. I'm like, how do you not care?

425
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 1: And have you seen in the movies like how guys

426
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: just chilling and like the whole entire room just slowly disappears.

427
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 1: That's how kind of felt like, Damn, everything I worked

428
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 1: for for family, it's just gone in the day, you know,

429
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: Can I.

430
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Speaker 2: Can I I hope I'm not being naive by saying

431
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,199
Speaker 2: this stuff. But can I just say this and you

432
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 2: just tell me if it resonates with you? Because you're

433
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 2: talking about the families split up? Uh, this I might,

434
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 2: this might I'm this might be some hippi shit that

435
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 2: I'm about to say. But and I but I don't know.

436
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm feeling it as I'm talking to the families.

437
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 2: You're you're you're this fucking kid's dad and you you're

438
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 2: with him. You know. I grew up divorced parents too,

439
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 2: and my my dad feels like my dad, my mom

440
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 2: feels like my mom, you know, because they were there

441
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,199
Speaker 2: in my so like I have a fan. I I

442
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 2: have a family, you know what I mean? Your kid

443
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 2: is not going to feel like he doesn't have a dad,

444
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,639
Speaker 2: judging by what's up, judging by my my intuition for

445
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 2: how you exist in his life. So whatever happened in

446
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 2: this physical fracture that like he has to deal with

447
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: and you have to deal with is is is totally

448
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: a bummer and totally sad. But don't spiral into thinking

449
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 2: that the family is is gone, that everything you worked

450
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 2: for is gone. Because listen, brother, you're you're a good dad.

451
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 2: That's not going away. You get to see your kid

452
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 2: a good amount of his life. You're you're, you're gonna

453
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 2: be there, and so you you're gonna you The family

454
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 2: is not broken up. It's not like he had to

455
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: like move to you know, Indianapolis, or you're fighting for

456
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: custody or whatever. Like you're in a good you're in

457
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 2: a good spot. So I wouldn't spiral again too hard

458
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: about like, oh my family is gone, Like he's right there,

459
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 2: like he's gonna feel, he's gonna feel in his gut

460
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 2: that you're his his dad. You know, it's he's not gone.

461
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 3: Right.

462
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: Right? Well, I don't how do I say. I mean

463
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: that's how I felt at the moment. You know, like, damn,

464
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: everything worked hard for I was the main provider, you know,

465
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: I did everything for her. I I didn't want an

466
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: kid at first, to be honest, I was the type

467
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: of dude I was like, I don't want kids. Fuck that.

468
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: But like I met her, and it's just everything failed, right.

469
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 1: You know. We got an apartment, we got to the

470
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: nice cars, we were financially stable. It just felt right

471
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: to have a kid, you know, and we had him

472
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: the first year. Two we're great, and she fucking went

473
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: downhill after that, and it just kind of sucked that

474
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: it ended so early in his life. And just the

475
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 1: traditional type of dude that you know, she just wants

476
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: who have a family and in the fucking house and

477
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: why not.

478
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, I give what you mean. I give

479
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: what you mean. But look, man, you're look, you're a

480
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 2: young dude. You're are you dating?

481
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: Ah? Dude about that? Like I met some girls and

482
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 1: you know, dating apps and whatnot, but like it's not

483
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: the same dude, Like all these girls are just like

484
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 1: they want one and one things, so they want to

485
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: get back and or what do you what do you

486
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: a few things.

487
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: It's not When you say it's not the same, do

488
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: you mean it's not the same as your ex?

489
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: No, it's just it's just a girl. Oh no, girl,

490
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: Well girls now that I've talked to, whynot? Maybe I

491
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: haven't met the right one yet, but the girls that

492
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: I've talked to recently, it's just it's just, you know,

493
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: if they're not getting attention from social media or dudes,

494
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: they're just gonna move on. Like it's just like that.

495
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 2: What do you mean by that they're not getting attention

496
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: from social media? What does that mean? What does social

497
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: media you have to do with this? Are you okay?

498
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: All right? I'm gonna are you? Are you saying and

499
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 2: we could are are you saying that? Like you're on

500
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 2: dating apps and you feel like, and I get you

501
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 2: feel like the women that you're interacting with on dating

502
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 2: apps are not really there to get into the kind

503
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,959
Speaker 2: of serious relationship that you want to get into and

504
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 2: are mainly there for like dates and attention. Is that

505
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: basically yeah?

506
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, mmmm, Like it's a different it's a different it's

507
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: just a different world now, you know.

508
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: But is that? I mean, buddy, how true is that?

509
00:26:58,119 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: Like?

510
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: Where where do you live? You don't have to give

511
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 2: me your longitude latitude? But what do you Where do

512
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 2: you live?

513
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: I live in Central, well, not Central, I live in Texas, Dallas.

514
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: You live in Dallas. Yes, sir, you're telling me there's

515
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 2: no women. You're first, you're a great age, you can

516
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 2: you can date what like?

517
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 3: What like?

518
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: You're telling me there's no women in Dallas who want

519
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 2: to have a real relationship.

520
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: I'm not saying there's not. I'm just saying I haven't

521
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: met one.

522
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just I just I guess I'm passionate about

523
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 2: this only because I'm a big I'm really big on

524
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 2: like what you believe about yourself and the world and

525
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 2: women and men and fucking whatever. Is like what you find?

526
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: I really feel that way?

527
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 1: And where do you find that? I guess because you know,

528
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: you can go to a bar and you only go

529
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 1: to meet a girl to like going out and partying whatever.

530
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 1: Or you can go to like a library and I

531
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: meet a girl that goes to school and text a

532
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: live series. Sure. Yeah, And I guess I feel like

533
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 1: I'll be looking at the wrong places sometimes too.

534
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I'm not, I'm I'm truly, I'm truly

535
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 2: no dating expert. But my big thing is, like I try,

536
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: I try not to develop negative schemas about, uh, what

537
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 2: the people in the world are are like in general.

538
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: Wat you want to be open, you know, trying to

539
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: be like, oh you like doing this, Okay we can

540
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: do that, or oh I don't know. I just feel like,

541
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: like I guess the type of woman I've talked to,

542
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: they just have options and there's just no longer no interest.

543
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: Then they just cuts you off and move on to

544
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: the next which is fine, you know, but it seems

545
00:28:58,560 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: to be like a psycho at this point.

546
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you might have Here's the thing is that might

547
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 2: have to happen to you about fifteen more times before

548
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: you find something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to happen

549
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: to you about thirty seven more times. That might have

550
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 2: to happen to you about seven hundred and forty more

551
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: times before you find the person that you're really gonna

552
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 2: be happy with. But just you gotta just but you

553
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 2: have to just fucking you have to just eat that,

554
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 2: you know, you know, you just eat it. Yeah, yeah,

555
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 2: I mean you sometimes sometimes in life, like it with

556
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 2: dating or whatever, like sometimes when things happen, you just

557
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: have to continue. You just have to keep eating it,

558
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 2: and then while you're eating it, believe like you have

559
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 2: to just shovel diarrhea into your mouth. And while you're

560
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: like your cheeks are like coiled, you look like ed

561
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: Ed and Eddie when they have the jawbreakers that you're

562
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: just cheeks with diarrhea and you have to I'll be

563
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: looking like that and going soon its gonna that some

564
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 2: some something good is gonna happen. You have That's how

565
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: you have to do it. You have to just take

566
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: it and fully believe that something good is gonna happen,

567
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: because that's that's your only maybe you know what I mean,

568
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: I really believe. I believe that's so uh strongly. My

569
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: I've talked about this on here before. My dad my

570
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:32,719
Speaker 2: mom got divorced after eleven years of marriage and then

571
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 2: each of them found better partners than each other when

572
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: they were in there like mid to late forties. So

573
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 2: it might take ten years before you find a woman

574
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 2: that you're happy with. I know that's not fun to hear,

575
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 2: but actually just yeaheah. Time time will come, but it

576
00:30:55,360 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: but it guaranteed won't come if you're not able to

577
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: have that optimism while you're eating the diarrhea because if

578
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: you're eating the day, because if you're eating diarrhea and

579
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 2: then you start being like all food is diarrhea, then

580
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 2: it's then you just eat diarrhea until you're uh, you know,

581
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: until you die. You just can't let your just you

582
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: really like in all things, can't let your prior. I

583
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,959
Speaker 2: know it's weird, right, you're you're in life. We do

584
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: pattern recognition things and we take what's happened thus far,

585
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: and we take ourselves and we take whatever and we

586
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: use it to form our idea of what the future

587
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 2: is going to be like. But that's not a good

588
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: way to do things. I mean, you can learn and

589
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 2: you can adapt, but when you start developing schemas in

590
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: your head of like all women uh are are the same,

591
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 2: or like the like the whole flation thing, or like

592
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 2: you like you just you, but you just build a

593
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: scheme that doesn't lead you anywhere.

594
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: Good.

595
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, if I'm being honest, man, like dating

596
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: is not really a priority right now. Like I'm content

597
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: with life. Like I said, I have a pretty good job,

598
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: saving enough money, pay off the ball whatever they have

599
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: to have to Oh, happy with my kid. My kid

600
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: is my purpose.

601
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 3: You know.

602
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: If I find the person, that's just a plus one

603
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: at this point, Like, I'm content with being alone by myself,

604
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: you know my kids. He makes me happy, so I'm happy,

605
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: and so I'm good.

606
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 2: Ricky Bobby. Wait, you're not Ricky Bobby. You're a sweet James.

607
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm sweet James.

608
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: Fuck I talked to another guy before you called Ricky Bobby. Okay,

609
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: we'll cut that out or we won't. Whatever it's Brandon

610
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 2: can decide if he wants to cut that out or not.

611
00:32:54,960 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 2: Sweet James. H thanks thanks for sharing all this stuff.

612
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 2: I also I know that you. I know, I appreciate

613
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: you believing I'm here to expose people and then and

614
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: then going through the process of exposing yourself, and I

615
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: I appreciate I appreciate you exposing yourself to us. It's

616
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 2: been helpful.

617
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: I just yeah, I just did it to my sol huh.

618
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: Well na, Like, like I said, that was my first thoughts,

619
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: and you know, I just got into your show. I'm

620
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: just like, damn, there's some real life ship right here.

621
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 2: But yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

622
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: Are you coming to Dallas?

623
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm definitely coming to Austin. And I'm

624
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 2: eighty percent sure, I'm coming to Houston, and I might

625
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 2: if enough people, if enough people want me to do it,

626
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: I'll come to Dallas. Yeah, I usually did. I've done Dallas.

627
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: I've done Dallas twice before, so I might. I might

628
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: come back. We'll see. If I started like, really, I

629
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 2: the material real I have for the shows so far,

630
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 2: I'm pretty jazzed on. I still I still have a

631
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 2: lot more left to do. But if I start being like, yo,

632
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: I think this material and these shows are really popping off,

633
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: then I'll probably add a bunch more.

634
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 1: But I think you have are I think you'll have

635
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 1: a great audience for Dallas. There's a lot of crazy

636
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:20,479
Speaker 1: ship over here.

637
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 2: Well, I hope to see you there, sweet James, and.

638
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: Be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm the guy that

639
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: balks myself. I'm trying to you.

640
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: If you say that, I won't remember. But if you

641
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 2: say if you talk about uh uh the stuff that

642
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: we talked about, I'll remember.

643
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll hope. I'll hope to see you soon, man,

644
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 1: and and and I like your work now. I like

645
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: what you do. Oh, just keep doing what you're doing. Man,

646
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: You're a good person.

647
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, Sweet James. Hey, you too, man. Keep

648
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 2: being her good fucking dad, all right, don't don't beat

649
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: yourself up, and don't lose sleep at night.

650
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: You know, I I really appreciate from the botto my heart.

651
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: It makes me happy that you to hear from somebody

652
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: that I'm being a good dad.

653
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 2: And it's a lot beautiful man. Take care of sweet James.

654
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: There's something I can say for the people on the internet. Yeah,

655
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 1: of course, don't forget to wipe your ass and wash

656
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: your hands, because a lot of people wipe their ass

657
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: and then wash their hands.

658
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 2: Do a lot of people do that?

659
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: I hope not. Shit.

660
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 2: Wait, hold on, what if you're I don't wait, why

661
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,919
Speaker 2: are you supposed to wash your hands after you I've

662
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: had dude? Okay, So by like muscle memory. I wash

663
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 2: my hands every time I use the bathroom. But there's

664
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 2: been a couple of times where like I raise my

665
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: hands up and I sit down on the toilet and

666
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: I pee, and then I go like I have to,

667
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 2: you know, and then I go, and then I go,

668
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: and then I go. I wash my hands. My hands

669
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 2: feel dirty if I don't, but I'm like I didn't.

670
00:35:55,040 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 2: My hands didn't interact with any bathroom stimulus us. What's

671
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: the point.

672
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: Well, you see, you're you're still in the air where

673
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: it's contaminated with dookie. There's still dookie particles in the air.

674
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's dooky particles in the air everywhere.

675
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: Especially in the bathroom.

676
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, they're I mean they're everywhere. You know,

677
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: when you walk every all the people that you see

678
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 2: walking around you there and in any place, they all

679
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: have assholes that have poop, have poop that particles of

680
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 2: it float into the air.

681
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel more comfortable they watch their hands

682
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,280
Speaker 1: off of this ship than not washing their hands, because

683
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: you know, you know you've been I'm pretty sure you've

684
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: been there. You wipe your butt, you get a little

685
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: bit on your finger, and you wipe it off, and

686
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: you still wash your hands. A lot of people will

687
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: just walk off to the bathroom. Off the bathroom.

688
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna let you go, Sweet James, all right, Laro.

689
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 1: Have a good one, be served.

690
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 2: I hope you you too. Man, You take care, thanks

691
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 2: for calling man all right? By man, No, Sweet James,

692
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 2: Sweet James, what sweet you know what, I'll say it.

693
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 2: I'll say it. I'll say it. Fuck you, I'll say it.

694
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:11,720
Speaker 2: Sweet James, sweet guy. I like sweet James. It's interesting,

695
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: it's interesting talking about the kids stuff. I like thinking.

696
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 2: I like the thinking exercise of it. You know, uh yeah,

697
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: I hope he doesn't lose sleep at night if you

698
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 2: ship though, and the paper doesn't. If you shop, You're like,

699
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: I'm touching clean toilet paper. Why do I have to

700
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: wash my hand? I do I do it? By the way,

701
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I don't, but I'm just kind of,

702
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 2: I don't know, just thinking about it. Hello, Hello, what's

703
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 2: up man?

704
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: This is wild?

705
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 3: Right?

706
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, who is this?

707
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give a fake name. I'm gonna I'm gonna

708
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 3: say my name is Jeremiah.

709
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 2: Jeremiah. That's a lot of syllables for a fake name.

710
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 3: Well is that? Are you gonna be able to remember that?

711
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: Definitely not, But it doesn't matter. I'll call you a

712
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: bunch of different names. No, well, Jeremiah, how about call.

713
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: Me Jerry for short, Jerry.

714
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 2: Like Jed fake name. Jerry's a good fake there. I

715
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 2: feel like fake names have no business being anything more

716
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 2: than one syllable fake names that we both Okay, So

717
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 2: if you're like coming up with an alias to trick somebody.

718
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 2: Then the more syllables the better, right, Like what is

719
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 2: it from? Art? Oh? Fuck Art? Vandala?

720
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:39,240
Speaker 3: It's multiple syllables, but the last name is multiple syllables.

721
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: Art, last names multiple syllables. But if if we're just

722
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 2: doing we both know that it's a fake name. To

723
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: keep it, keep it simple, okay, Jerry, Yes, you texted

724
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: me and you said, Hello, Lyle, I am currently in

725
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 2: a sex Addicts anonymous meeting and would like to be

726
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 2: on your Gecko show. You texted me that a half

727
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 2: hour ago. Are you still okay? Multiple questions A, are

728
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 2: you still in this meeting? And then B why are

729
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 2: you taking phone calls during the meeting?

730
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: Uh?

731
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 3: Well, one, no, it actually just got over. And two

732
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 3: Uh I that's a good question. I suppose it's because

733
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 3: there's there's some so it's a zoom call and I

734
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 3: there there's some readings in there that I've heard a

735
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 3: million times. I wasn't exactly sure when you would call me,

736
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 3: so I I kind of just left left it out

737
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 3: in the open to see to see if you would listen.

738
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 2: Listen, brother, listen, brother. You can hear the readings time

739
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 2: after time, But do you do you understand the readings.

740
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

741
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 3: I I think that sometimes whenever I'm hearing the readings,

742
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 3: they feel they feel I feel more connected to them.

743
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: It just depends on the day, you know what I mean,

744
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 3: Like some days the readings hit. Other days it's just

745
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 3: like I'm just they're listening, waiting for my prind to share. Yeah.

746
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: I think I feel like the readings portion of those

747
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: kinds of meetings is not the not the sauce.

748
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 3: No, And I mean sometimes it is. And lately because

749
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 3: I've been trying to go about or been trying to

750
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 3: come to the meetings about every day for the last

751
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 3: like month to month and a half. And most of

752
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 3: the time I try to make it a point too,

753
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 3: because we all take turns reading, and I try to

754
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 3: make it to at least read a portion of it

755
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 3: so that I'm present in that moment of the reading. Yeah,

756
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 3: but it's definitely like if I'm not reading, I'm probably

757
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 3: tuning out. And there's definitely been times where I'm like

758
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:28,240
Speaker 3: there's somebody reading and I'll like turn off my camera

759
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 3: or something and go grab some more coffee, or maybe

760
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 3: I'll go like say, what's up to my girlfriend who's

761
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 3: in the other room, or something like that, and it

762
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: definitely feels less present. But whenever it gets to the

763
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 3: shares and stuff, I definitely try to sit down and

764
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 3: like listen to everybody and everything.

765
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 2: Do you only go online, yes, so you don't have

766
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 2: to talk about it. I assumed you texted me with

767
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 2: this information because you wanted to talk about it. But

768
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 2: if you do, what sparked you to want to start

769
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: going to these meetings every single day?

770
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: Well?

771
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 3: I started going to the meetings in general in the

772
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 3: middle of December following a discovery from my girlfriend. She

773
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 3: found out I was cheating on her and I was

774
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 3: doing a bunch of shady shit on social media, dming

775
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 3: people behind her back and things. I'm very not, very

776
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 3: much so not proud of things that I've struggled with

777
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 3: my entire life, with all of my relationships, and I

778
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: have always had an inkling that I am a sex addict.

779
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: But it's like, like how an alcoholic, you know, just

780
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 3: has trouble facing the problems of being an alcoholic, Like

781
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: it's hard to take that first step to get into

782
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 3: the room and to try and get into some sort

783
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 3: of recovery and so, and I love her very much despite.

784
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 1: All of the mistakes I've made.

785
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 3: Despite all the lies I've told, I definitely feel a

786
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 3: lot of love, care, and a lot of emotion regarding

787
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 3: her and our relationship. And I think that the regret

788
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 3: that I felt from hurting her so deeply with my

789
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 3: addiction set me to finally take that step into those

790
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 3: rooms and finally admit to myself that I need help

791
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 3: because I'm completely powerless over this addiction, like how somebody

792
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,399
Speaker 3: would be addicted to cigarettes or alcohol or something like that.

793
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:08,720
Speaker 3: And it honestly set me down a very crazy path

794
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 3: of discovery, even outside of the sexual addiction, like I've

795
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 3: I am now over three weeks sober from weed, which

796
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 3: I have not taken a break from weed in over

797
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 3: eleven or twelve years, and I'm currently working at an

798
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 3: autism clinic, working with kids and doing these things to

799
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:43,479
Speaker 3: improve my life and try, and I don't know, make

800
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 3: like I finally wanted to be in service of others

801
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 3: instead of continuing to be selfish. And because it's like

802
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 3: a path and a journey to recovery, like I slip up.

803
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 3: I have lapsed since being in the program, and I've

804
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 3: continued to make mistakes, but I'm still showing up today,

805
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 3: I actually acquired a sponsor for the first time and

806
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,399
Speaker 3: reached out to somebody may made a phone call and

807
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 3: talked about actually starting to work on the twelve steps,

808
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 3: which I feel was a very big thing for me

809
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 3: because I had been sitting on that for a couple

810
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 3: of weeks now. And yeah, so, I mean it's like

811
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 3: it's like getting caught stealing. You know, you face the consequences.

812
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 3: But I also just wanted to do this for myself,

813
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 3: like outside of the relationship, Like I told her, like

814
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 3: even if she were to break up with me today,

815
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 3: I would still be wanting to show up to the

816
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 3: essay meetings and doing it for my And there were

817
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 3: times where like she wasn't talking to me, or like

818
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 3: she was taking her space, and I was at my parents' house,

819
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 3: sitting in my car on those Zoom meetings, trying to

820
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 3: trying to do something to improve these problems that I'm having.

821
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 2: So what how long? How long have you been with

822
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 2: your girlfriend for?

823
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 3: So we technically got together for the first time in

824
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, off and on for a little over

825
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 3: a year, and then broke things off around Christmas of

826
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 3: twenty three. I ended up dating another girl, moving down

827
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 3: south and being in that relationship for about a year

828
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 3: and a half. But because I'm a sex addict, I

829
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 3: did a lot of things I regretted in that relationship

830
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 3: as well, and I ended up feeling disconnected from that

831
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:18,720
Speaker 3: girl and me and my girlfriend reconnected during that time,

832
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 3: and I started to realize that, oh shit, I still

833
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 3: want to be with her. So I broke things off

834
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 3: with the girl down south and moved back home too.

835
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 3: Well for a lot of reasons, but I mean, ultimately

836
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 3: it was to be with my girlfriend and to give

837
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,240
Speaker 3: the relationship a shot after a year and a half

838
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 3: of being a part. And then I ended up making

839
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 3: the same mistakes that I keep on making throughout my

840
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 3: entire life.

841
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 2: So m h how So I mean after she discovered this,

842
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: what was her reaction and how did she.

843
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 3: What?

844
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,839
Speaker 2: What made her come back?

845
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 1: That is?

846
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,280
Speaker 3: Uh that second question is a good question.

847
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: Uh.

848
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: I still ponder that every day because that I'm sure

849
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 3: is still very hard for her.

850
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:31,839
Speaker 2: Does she does?

851
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 3: She?

852
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 2: Does? She seem happy?

853
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: I think?

854
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: So? I mean, we have our moments.

855
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: We we have good moments, we have bad moments.

856
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: We still fight.

857
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 3: Ah sometimes it's just about small things. But we've always

858
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 3: thought about like kind of small things because the way

859
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 3: that we communicate is kind of different.

860
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 2: How how old are you?

861
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 3: I'm twenty nine nine?

862
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 2: What? Uh so? What? How if you? I mean, if

863
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: you want to talk about it, we can. We can

864
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 2: talk about it. Like how does your sex addiction like

865
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 2: manifest itself?

866
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:26,439
Speaker 3: Uh well, I won't get into like super detailed specifics.

867
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 2: A lot of it, yeah, yeah, a lot of it.

868
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 3: A lot of it's porn.

869
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,800
Speaker 1: A lot of it is uh.

870
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 3: Reaching out to people on like Instagram or Snapchat or

871
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 3: even X, you know, like sliding into d MS, trying

872
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 3: to initiate some sort of sexting, and a lot of

873
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 3: it was like OnlyFans and paying for.

874
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 1: Stuff like that.

875
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 3: And I would do it while I was in these relationships,

876
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 3: but I would do it while I was single as well,

877
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 3: And it was something I was never open about with

878
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 3: anybody really.

879
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: And when.

880
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 3: It was about it was December. It was the middle

881
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 3: of December. We were coming back from the gym, and

882
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 3: I had just pulled my car into her driveway and

883
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 3: it was super snowy out, or she had just pulled

884
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 3: her car into the driveway. It was super snowy out,

885
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,720
Speaker 3: and so she wanted me to like shovel the driveway

886
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 3: so she can get into her driveway, and so I

887
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 3: gave her my phone to hold because I didn't want

888
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 3: my phone to get wet. And while I was shoveling

889
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 3: the driveway and she went inside, she ended up looking

890
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 3: through my phone and seeing the messages and seeing so

891
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 3: much and ah, she told me that I needed to

892
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 3: leave and gave me all of my stuff and I

893
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 3: had to go to my parents, and uh, as far

894
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 3: as the sex addiction goes, it'd be like seeking out

895
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 3: that or like like the only fans stuff. I mean,

896
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 3: like I said, a lot of it's just born, and

897
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:37,959
Speaker 3: like seeking out like sex workers, some sex workers I knew,

898
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 3: like personally and that was a real like hard thing

899
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 3: too for her to see as well, because she knew

900
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: that I was like friends with.

901
00:51:53,120 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: These people and uh it uh.

902
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 3: And then she would also see like these messages of

903
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 3: me secting these people, uh and like sending pictures and

904
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 3: videos and stuff, and it escalated. I would still try

905
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 3: to lie and hide things, and I would even try

906
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 3: to lie about like my relapses, and when I would

907
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 3: be they call it acting out an essay. I uh I,

908
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 3: I would still try to hide the truth from her

909
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 3: because I was. I guess I feel like I was

910
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 3: hiding the truth for myself as well, Like even even

911
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 3: in the SAA meetings, like I wouldn't be fully honest

912
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 3: about my sobriety, and so it would be like if

913
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 3: you know here, hear no evil, see no evil. If

914
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 3: I if I don't see it anymore, if I just

915
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 3: delete it from my history or delete it from my

916
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 3: phone or whatever, then it doesn't exist. And so I

917
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 3: wasn't fully honest with myself or with her, and then

918
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 3: you know, problems just kept getting worse and worse.

919
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 2: So in the months since you've been going to these meetings,

920
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 2: have they been helpful?

921
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 1: Yeah?

922
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 3: I think so. The first meeting that I went to

923
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 3: or that I attended, I said a lot of things

924
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: that I hadn't said out loud before.

925
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

926
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:52,919
Speaker 3: And hearing people talk about their experiences and their addictions

927
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 3: and the way that it manifests in them made me

928
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: feel connected to people in a way that I had

929
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 3: never felt before. And it made me feel like I

930
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,439
Speaker 3: could be honest maybe with myself and with her more

931
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 3: because there's people that are struggling with this addiction more

932
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,320
Speaker 3: than more than they even realize. More than anybody realizes.

933
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,720
Speaker 3: And I feel like the way that the world works

934
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 3: nowadays is kind of like cultivated to these addictions, and

935
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 3: like there's things out in the world that like are

936
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 3: are like triggering for alcoholics, triggering for like people who

937
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: are addicted to weed or coke or whatever, you know.

938
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 3: But sex sells and the selling of sex is so

939
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 3: triggering for so many people and make it so hard

940
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 3: for relationships to be honest. And there's so many people

941
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 3: that's with themselves about like what they do, what they feel,

942
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,799
Speaker 3: you know, behind their partner's back, or what they do

943
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 3: in their bed alone in the middle of the night

944
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 3: while they're scrolling on their phone, you know. And to

945
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 3: be in those rooms talking to these people and listening

946
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 3: to these people and hearing their stories is like, I

947
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 3: don't know, it was I cried a lot that day.

948
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 3: I remember crying a lot that first meeting because it

949
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 3: was just it was it was pretty life changing, and

950
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how much I had held in from

951
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 3: uh like just keeping those things to myself. But you know,

952
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 3: you hold on to it for so long and then

953
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:44,479
Speaker 3: you kind of just feel a little bit more free

954
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 3: after after you let it go.

955
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:51,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean a lot of these addictions and these

956
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 2: things like there's it's ship that you uh feels very

957
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 2: m hm yeah, you you you hold you hold it alone,

958
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 2: like addictions in general, Like there's a lot of ship

959
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 2: with them where you hold them alone. And then you

960
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 2: get into Yeah, the whole point of these things. You

961
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 2: get into a room with a bunch of other people

962
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 2: who you know, whatever weird fucking thing you have going

963
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 2: on in your brain, that you can talk to them

964
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 2: about it, and that makes you feel like you're not

965
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:27,879
Speaker 2: this uh individual with unique problems and uh no matter,

966
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: no matter who you are, none of your problems are

967
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 2: are in fact unique. She's which is good.

968
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 3: Hm hmm, so right, I mean sorry, you go ahead?

969
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 2: So do you are you still living with your girlfriend

970
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 2: or you? She like you're living with your parents now?

971
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 3: So funny enough, I was still living with my parents

972
00:56:54,320 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 3: whenever the discovery was made and after some time. Actually,

973
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 3: she's calling right now, do you mind if we cut

974
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:10,280
Speaker 3: this short?

975
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,839
Speaker 2: Go ahead? I think that's a call you should take.

976
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 2: But thanks for sharing with us, man. I appreciate your

977
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 2: vulnerability absolutely.

978
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 3: Thank you for calling.

979
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 2: Of course, take care man, you too. Hey, what's up everybody?

980
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 2: How's it going, how's life. I'm still wearing the headphones

981
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: that I was using to talk to the callers, so

982
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take them off, and this is okay. So

983
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 2: this is uh, I'm doing. Gek mail. If you're new

984
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:42,160
Speaker 2: to the podcast, gek mail is when I end the

985
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 2: phone call part of the podcast by taking a few

986
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 2: viewer emails and reading them and maybe providing some feedback

987
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 2: on them, maybe just reading them. I don't have to

988
00:57:55,400 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: have feedback about everything. I don't know everything. So this

989
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 2: is a gekmail. If you want to submit a gekmail,

990
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 2: you can send an email to therapy gecko mail dot com.

991
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 2: That's therapy geckomail dot com. If you want to send

992
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 2: an email Therapy Gecko. Wait, crap, No, I'm an uh okay,

993
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 2: therapy go goo mail at gmail dot com. I'm an idiot,

994
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 2: all right, you send it email, So therapy gotomail at

995
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 2: gmail dot com. Sorry, I'm tired. Therapy got go tour

996
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 2: dot com is where you go to buy tickets to

997
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 2: my tour. But I did not actually I did not

998
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 2: mean to promote the tour right now. I wanted to

999
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 2: actually tell you where you could send an email. All right,

1000
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 2: let's just let's read a few of these emails and

1001
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 2: then you guys can go home. All right. This is

1002
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 2: from Lily, subject line our friends supposed to kind of suck. Oh,

1003
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 2: it's an interesting topic. I like this topic. Let's get

1004
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 2: into this.

1005
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 1: Okay.

1006
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 2: Hello, ghak, Hope you're doing well. Currently sitting on the

1007
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 2: kitchen floor pondering about friendships. I remember as a kid

1008
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 2: that my friends and I could just get along and

1009
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 2: things were kind of easy. Now that I've turned twenty,

1010
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 2: I feel as though every friend I make there's always

1011
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 2: a downside or things they do that make me annoyed

1012
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 2: or upset. Examples being being pushy and crossing boundaries, making

1013
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 2: me feel bad for not enjoying certain things, getting pissed

1014
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 2: off at minor disagreements we have, etc. Maybe it's just

1015
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 2: part of growing up, and now that we are more mature,

1016
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 2: we notice these things more. But I'm hoping this isn't

1017
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 2: just something you have to deal with in friendships. I

1018
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 2: feel like for quite a while, I haven't found someone

1019
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 2: who I just click with and isn't a mean person

1020
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 2: in one way or another. Maybe I'm too picky or

1021
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 2: overly sensitive. Maybe every human is too multifaceted to have

1022
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:58,640
Speaker 2: perfect relationships to begin with, I'm not sure. I'm probably

1023
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: a bit blinded by nostala, But even then, my main

1024
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 2: question still stands are we meant to just put up

1025
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 2: with things here and there like this to have friends

1026
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 2: love the podcast? As a psychology major, I'm very jealous

1027
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: of you, as you have my dream job of talking

1028
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 2: to people stay safe, glowing regards, how nice, how nice

1029
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:27,640
Speaker 2: glowing regards, Lily, I have a I have a multifaceted

1030
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 2: way of thinking about this because here's the thing I have.

1031
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 2: There's people in my life that I have been in

1032
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 2: my life for a long time who I consider some

1033
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 2: of my best friends. There's people in my life I

1034
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 2: consider some of the people I love, people who if

1035
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 2: I don't call them for the next twenty years and

1036
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 2: I call them, they'll pick up and be like, Hey,

1037
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,000
Speaker 2: what's up? What have you been doing? You know that

1038
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 2: I there's people like out of my life and those

1039
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 2: people are deeply, deeply important to me. And some of

1040
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 2: those people are fucking assholes. They just are assholes. There's

1041
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 2: just you have Sometimes you just have an asshole in

1042
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 2: your life. Who you are They're just one of your

1043
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 2: best friends. You don't have to if you you don't

1044
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 2: have to be around them twenty four to seven or

1045
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 2: take everything to them, or you know, spend an amount

1046
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 2: of time with them that makes you feel sad, Right,

1047
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 2: But uh, sometimes it's it's okay to just have someone

1048
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 2: in your life who's kind of an asshole. I don't

1049
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 2: think that that's I don't think you should be like

1050
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 2: married or dating an asshole, or like in biz in

1051
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 2: direct business with an asshole, or or like, uh, you know,

1052
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 2: I'm talking about like people who are like really like

1053
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:01,960
Speaker 2: in the every day to day facet of your life.

1054
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 2: Those people shouldn't be assholes. But it's okay to have

1055
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 2: people in your life that you're great friends with that

1056
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 2: you kind of think are jerks.

1057
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 3: It's it's.

1058
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 2: Something that you can put up with. Now the problem

1059
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 2: becomes okay. So if we don't want those kinds of

1060
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 2: people to be like our literal, like day to day people,

1061
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 2: if we want better out of our day to day people,

1062
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:30,360
Speaker 2: well then that's a different story. That is something where

1063
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 2: we want those people to be people with Click with now, Lily, specifically,

1064
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 2: you're twenty so as of yours. So here's the thing, Lily,

1065
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 2: when you're twenty. As of pretty much your entire life,

1066
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: the people around you have been the people around you

1067
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:53,840
Speaker 2: because they're the people around you. You get what I'm saying, Like,

1068
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 2: when you're in high school, you're with those kids and

1069
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 2: you're friends with them because because they are they're literally

1070
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 2: because they're the people around you. I grew really close

1071
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 2: with my high school friends because we all grew together,

1072
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 2: and we all grew our senses of who we are

1073
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 2: and what we are find funny and our sensibilities together.

1074
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 2: But now that I'm like an adult in the world,

1075
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 2: I tend to intentionally put myself in certain places and

1076
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 2: situations where it is likely for me to find people

1077
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 2: who are, you know, more suited to my sensibilities and

1078
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 2: who I might have better relationships with, as opposed to

1079
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 2: in high school and some of college where it's just

1080
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 2: whoever's fucking around. So, of course you haven't found someone

1081
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 2: that you click with just yet. But also the good

1082
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 2: news is, and the thing you have to keep in mind,

1083
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 2: is that the people you went to high school with

1084
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 2: are not a sample size of the universe. They're pretty

1085
01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:01,400
Speaker 2: your high school friends are a terrible sample size of

1086
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 2: the universe, and you should absolutely, in no way, shape

1087
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:09,920
Speaker 2: or form. When you're twenty take the people you went

1088
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 2: to high school with and use them as the sample

1089
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 2: size of the universe. It's a bad thing to do

1090
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 2: if you do that. It goes back to what I

1091
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 2: was saying to you know, I'm always talking about it,

1092
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,520
Speaker 2: and I really do feel this way of like finding

1093
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:24,440
Speaker 2: what you're looking for, you know what I mean. So

1094
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 2: if you again go into the world being like well,

1095
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 2: friendship is when somebody is an asshole to you and

1096
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 2: you put up with it, then those are the friendships

1097
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 2: that you're going to find. Also, again, balance that with

1098
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 2: the political reality that sometimes there's just an asshole in

1099
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 2: your life and that's fine. You know, you'd know your

1100
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 2: life doesn't have to be perfect, you know what I mean,

1101
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,439
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be Uh you said maybe even

1102
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,080
Speaker 2: you said here yourself, you said, maybe every human and

1103
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 2: is too multifaceted to have perfect relationships. I agree with that. Yeah,

1104
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 2: having perfect relationships is not We're too human to be perfect.

1105
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 2: But you should at minimum enjoy being around the people

1106
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 2: that you're around regularly. So go do some shiit with

1107
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 2: your life that involves being around to the people and

1108
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 2: being around to the people who like the same things

1109
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 2: that you like, and then naturally you'll make friends. But

1110
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 2: you're probably too young to fully have developed a proper

1111
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 2: idea of what people are capable of, of what people

1112
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 2: are capable of being to you. You know you have.

1113
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:54,480
Speaker 2: If all your friends are kind of jerks, then you again,

1114
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 2: you you'll you're, you're, you'll be closed off to the

1115
01:05:57,720 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 2: mere idea that you could be friends with someone that

1116
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 2: it's not a jerk. So that's just my thought on

1117
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 2: that where we're gonna do it. Oh, okay, here we go.

1118
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:18,440
Speaker 2: This is from Mike. Subject line, am I insane? All right?

1119
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 2: I like this, dude, Fuck this fucking goddamn fuck fuck Meta,

1120
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 2: fuck fuck Gemini AI fuck AI. Dude, this is bullshit.

1121
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 2: It's I hate this. There's like a suggested reply underneath

1122
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 2: the email. I think that shits so fucking annoying. All right,

1123
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 2: hold on, let me read the email. Uh okay, hi, gek,

1124
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 2: I got my license today. But that's not the topic.

1125
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 2: All right then, whatever. I'm seventeen. When I was thirteen,

1126
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 2: the day I got off of suspension for fighting someone,

1127
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 2: my mom got into an argument with our neighbors. A

1128
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:04,640
Speaker 2: fight happened, their kid beat my mom with a stick.

1129
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. She had huge lumps on her head for weeks.

1130
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 2: I saw her after the cops got there, and I screamed.

1131
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 2: I was so mad. I promised her right there I

1132
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 2: wouldn't let them get away with that. That fucking sucks

1133
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 2: and I still think about it to this day. I

1134
01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:26,160
Speaker 2: think insane thoughts about how I would get back at them.

1135
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 2: I feel crazy.

1136
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 3: Ghek.

1137
01:07:28,600 --> 01:07:31,240
Speaker 2: It keeps me up at night. I just don't want

1138
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 2: my mom hurt again, and it hurts me I couldn't

1139
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:42,920
Speaker 2: help her. Please let me know if you respond. Okay,

1140
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 2: the AI suggested this is annoying. Yet Google. Google has

1141
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,880
Speaker 2: a thing where you can Google has a stupid fucking

1142
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:56,720
Speaker 2: thing where they can suggest it suggests replies to the

1143
01:07:56,800 --> 01:08:01,720
Speaker 2: email Hey, it says, hey, my congrats on the license.

1144
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 2: Know you are not insane. Man. It sounds like a

1145
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,320
Speaker 2: really intense and upsetting thing to witness as a kid.

1146
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 2: It makes total sense that you still think about it

1147
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,240
Speaker 2: and feel protective of your mom. It's okay to have

1148
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:14,760
Speaker 2: those feelings when you feel like someone was wrong and

1149
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 2: you can step in. I hate reading a thing that

1150
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:21,519
Speaker 2: AI wrote, but I'm just reading it. Blah blah blah blah.

1151
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 2: Keep listening, man, we got you know that's fucked up.

1152
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:28,280
Speaker 2: Just write the fucking I've talked on this podcast for

1153
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:31,120
Speaker 2: I talked to AI like it, like it's helpful in

1154
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 2: a lot of ways, but I don't like it. I

1155
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:35,559
Speaker 2: don't like. I don't this feels like weird, Like this

1156
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 2: feels like fake, weird, annoying shit, like like I'll use

1157
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 2: it to like help me fucking figure out knowledge of

1158
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:47,880
Speaker 2: things that I don't know, but like with what I

1159
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 2: don't like it? Like, I don't. I don't like it

1160
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:55,479
Speaker 2: mimicking being a person and like using it to like

1161
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,320
Speaker 2: fake someone out that you replied to them. I think

1162
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:02,520
Speaker 2: it's stupid. How do I get rid of this? Send feedback?

1163
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:05,759
Speaker 2: How do I make it so this doesn't pop up again?

1164
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 2: There's no fucking dude, fuck Google. There's no button that

1165
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 2: I can just press that goes, hey, don't do this

1166
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 2: stupid shit anymore? Okay, hold on, how do I turn

1167
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,720
Speaker 2: this off? Whatever? All right? Who cares? I don't like

1168
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:25,120
Speaker 2: I don't like looking at I don't like what it's

1169
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 2: on this. I don't want it to be underneath this

1170
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:31,840
Speaker 2: email as I try to respond to it all right, Mike,

1171
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 2: let's team up. You go get revenge on the people

1172
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 2: who fucking coded this feature into my Gmail account, and

1173
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:45,960
Speaker 2: I'll go beat up those kids. You Mike, you I'll

1174
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:48,000
Speaker 2: do a deal with you. It's like strangers on a train.

1175
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 2: You go beat the shit out of whoever engineered this

1176
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:57,320
Speaker 2: stupid AI tool, and I'll beat up those kids that

1177
01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:02,519
Speaker 2: fucked with your mom. We have a deal. Uh no,

1178
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:06,240
Speaker 2: m yeah, of course, you know. Listen, that's fuck. I

1179
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 2: don't want to just say what AI said. I was

1180
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:17,080
Speaker 2: gonna say something similar beforehand. M Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. No,

1181
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:20,759
Speaker 2: you're not You're not insane. I Your rage makes perfect sense,

1182
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:25,720
Speaker 2: and you're you're you're a sweet kid for wanting to

1183
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 2: protect your mom, you know what I mean. I mean,

1184
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:34,439
Speaker 2: don't go kill bill on these motherfuckers. Uh. That's probably

1185
01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:38,600
Speaker 2: only gonna put you guys in more danger. So no,

1186
01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:41,479
Speaker 2: you're not insane. You gotta go talk to a real therapist. Man,

1187
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:43,519
Speaker 2: I don't know how you get those feelings out. I

1188
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:46,920
Speaker 2: mean you you know, look, you're you're seventeen, You're still

1189
01:10:46,960 --> 01:10:48,640
Speaker 2: like living with your mom and being with her, so

1190
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,240
Speaker 2: like fucking here's what I would suggestify were you, Mike,

1191
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:56,200
Speaker 2: is all this rage that you have just transmute it

1192
01:10:56,320 --> 01:11:01,400
Speaker 2: into like being with your mom, dude, and like just

1193
01:11:01,439 --> 01:11:03,760
Speaker 2: you know, spending time with her, being there for her,

1194
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 2: trying to take care of her the best that you can.

1195
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:11,599
Speaker 2: And that way, you know you're filling yourself with love

1196
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:15,400
Speaker 2: instead of like rage and anger. However justified the rage

1197
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:20,920
Speaker 2: and anger may be so, so hang in there, Mike

1198
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:25,480
Speaker 2: and let me know how it goes. Finding and destroying.

1199
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:33,439
Speaker 2: Whoever added this fucking apocalyptic piece of shit suggest a

1200
01:11:33,479 --> 01:11:39,920
Speaker 2: reply thing in my Gmail? Okay? Is that it? No,

1201
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:40,760
Speaker 2: let's read it one more.

1202
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 3: We can't.

1203
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:50,160
Speaker 2: I can't be it. All right, let's see. This is

1204
01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:54,200
Speaker 2: from Fuck. It's on this one too. Fuck you God?

1205
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 2: All right, I'm not going to read it this all right? Sorry, Sorry,

1206
01:11:56,600 --> 01:11:59,639
Speaker 2: this is derailing the podcast. This is from Donald, subject

1207
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 2: line crazy Love. Hey Gecko Man, I love your podcast.

1208
01:12:03,240 --> 01:12:05,240
Speaker 2: I always listen while I'm at work and it's amazing.

1209
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:07,559
Speaker 2: You can call me don or Donald, I don't mind.

1210
01:12:07,880 --> 01:12:10,120
Speaker 2: I wanted to email about my love story and maybe

1211
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,120
Speaker 2: if you have some advice that would be lovely. I'm twenty,

1212
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:15,720
Speaker 2: I will be twenty one this year. My girlfriend is

1213
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:19,320
Speaker 2: nineteen she lives a thousand miles away, and it sucks.

1214
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 2: But she came to my home state of Michigan, and

1215
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 2: it felt so natural and so perfect. I'm planning a

1216
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,360
Speaker 2: trip this year to Colorado, which is where she's from.

1217
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm reading it in this accent,

1218
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,960
Speaker 2: but this is what I imagine this guy sounds like. Now

1219
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm a little worried for the future. But now I'm

1220
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,400
Speaker 2: doing the accent more now that I'm aware of it.

1221
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:39,479
Speaker 2: I'm a little worried for the future because she wants

1222
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 2: to move to Alaska or Missouri. I personally don't want to,

1223
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:49,519
Speaker 2: especially not Lit. I personally don't want to, especially not Alaska.

1224
01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:52,879
Speaker 2: Too cold for me. I want her to move to Michigan.

1225
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 2: This is not even what people in Michigan sound like.

1226
01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:59,080
Speaker 2: I want her to move to Michigan because it's a

1227
01:12:59,120 --> 01:13:02,040
Speaker 2: mix of super cold and sometimes super hot. She did

1228
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 2: say she'd enjoyed it here, so that's a good thing.

1229
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:06,840
Speaker 2: We really love each other and I've been together for

1230
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,840
Speaker 2: over six months and it feels great. I'm just asking

1231
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 2: your opinion on what to do if I should take

1232
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,600
Speaker 2: the leap and move in with her, or should I

1233
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:21,000
Speaker 2: try to have her come here. Thank you sincerely. Don, Well,

1234
01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:24,080
Speaker 2: here's what I would do if I were you? Is

1235
01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:29,160
Speaker 2: I would kind of You're twenty, she's nineteen. What do

1236
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:30,160
Speaker 2: you want to do with your life?

1237
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:30,599
Speaker 3: Donald?

1238
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 2: What do you want to do with your life?

1239
01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:32,400
Speaker 3: Right?

1240
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:39,040
Speaker 2: You should have a bit of an idea of what you,

1241
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:44,240
Speaker 2: independently of this woman want to do with your life.

1242
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 2: She should have an idea of what she, independently as

1243
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:50,559
Speaker 2: her own person, wants to do with her life. I mean,

1244
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:52,680
Speaker 2: are you guys going are you going to college? Are

1245
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:54,640
Speaker 2: you getting a job? Are you gonna do it?

1246
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:54,720
Speaker 1: Like?

1247
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:55,640
Speaker 2: What do you what do you like? What are you

1248
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:58,840
Speaker 2: gonna do? You know what I mean? So, like, here's

1249
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:02,280
Speaker 2: what you should do each You should map out what

1250
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:04,880
Speaker 2: you two want to do with your lives separately from

1251
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:09,320
Speaker 2: each other, Okay, and really really don't think about each

1252
01:14:09,360 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 2: other at all until you've mapped that out. And then

1253
01:14:13,360 --> 01:14:18,000
Speaker 2: once you have that mapped out, come together and go,

1254
01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:25,800
Speaker 2: do we feel like each of our individual ideas of

1255
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:29,559
Speaker 2: what we want to do with our lives are somehow

1256
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:33,519
Speaker 2: compatible for us to have a shared vision of our

1257
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:38,320
Speaker 2: future together? And if so, then fucking great. And the

1258
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:41,519
Speaker 2: details of where to live and what to fucking do

1259
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:44,920
Speaker 2: and blah blah blah will work itself out, and if not,

1260
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:51,679
Speaker 2: it's okay because you're fucking will be because you're twenty

1261
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 2: and nineteen. So just have your own ideas of what

1262
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:01,400
Speaker 2: you want each other with, what you want your life

1263
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:03,719
Speaker 2: to be as individuals, and then you might get lucky

1264
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 2: and there's a shared vision of the future there and

1265
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 2: that could be an amazing, beautiful, awesome thing. But you

1266
01:15:10,120 --> 01:15:11,720
Speaker 2: should have your own ideas of what you want your

1267
01:15:11,760 --> 01:15:14,439
Speaker 2: life to be like so that you don't end up

1268
01:15:14,479 --> 01:15:20,559
Speaker 2: having regrets or resentments towards each other. All right, that's

1269
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:24,040
Speaker 2: this was a very serious episode of Therapy Gecko. I

1270
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:25,600
Speaker 2: gave a lot of advice. I don't know why I

1271
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 2: did that. I'm in a room with no windows. It's

1272
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:38,799
Speaker 2: ten pm, it's Saturday night, and I'm gonna I'm gonna

1273
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:45,839
Speaker 2: go destroy a building. No, I'm not go to therapy

1274
01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:49,840
Speaker 2: geckotour dot com. I there's tickets available to some of

1275
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:53,000
Speaker 2: the dates. Some of the dates are just RSVP, but uh,

1276
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:56,200
Speaker 2: hopefully by mid February I'll have a full announce of

1277
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:58,400
Speaker 2: all the cities and all the dates and whatnot. But

1278
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,519
Speaker 2: some some places you can get tickets to and now.

1279
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,360
Speaker 2: But just go to therapy Gecko tour dot com and

1280
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:08,800
Speaker 2: go check if your thing is on the thing, if

1281
01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:10,640
Speaker 2: your city is on the thing, and you should come

1282
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:12,559
Speaker 2: to the shows. They'll they'll be fun. I'm working on

1283
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:14,360
Speaker 2: material for them and they will be a good time.

1284
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:19,519
Speaker 2: I just got back from Ukraine on Tuesday and I

1285
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:22,880
Speaker 2: am working on a documentary about that that I should

1286
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:26,439
Speaker 2: fucking hopefully get done in the next two months on

1287
01:16:26,479 --> 01:16:31,880
Speaker 2: YouTube dot com slash lyle Forever. Uh. That's it for me.

1288
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:35,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go home. Thank you guys for listening to

1289
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:38,920
Speaker 2: this podcast. Ghek bless you all and have a good

1290
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:42,720
Speaker 2: rest of your entire life. Weak and goes on the

1291
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:46,320
Speaker 2: line taking your phone calls every night every week and

1292
01:16:46,479 --> 01:16:49,719
Speaker 2: goes to just teaching news your line

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01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:53,120
Speaker 1: An expert