Speaker 1: To us out. Brother, This is How Men Think with
Speaker 1: brooks Like and Gavin to grab and I heard radio
Speaker 1: podcast how do you everybody? My name is brooks Like
Speaker 1: and welcome to another episode of How Men Think. This
Speaker 1: is a Leaner addition. Thank you you noticed? Yeah, buddy,
Speaker 1: you look that's Dmitri. You look fantastic, buddy. But when
Speaker 1: I say Leaner, I'm not only referring to your extremely
Speaker 1: beautiful physique, my man, I'm also referring to the fact
Speaker 1: that Rick is gone. We're dropping like fly, We're dropping
Speaker 1: like five. Rick is in Alaska, Gavin's on tour, and
Speaker 1: then Ryan's appendix just decided to explode. Ye. Well, what
Speaker 1: happened was he you know how he's competitive with you.
Speaker 1: He heard that you still had your appendix, so he
Speaker 1: took his out. It was I was actually going to
Speaker 1: text text him. I got another one up on you.
Speaker 1: I have an appendix you don't know, but I didn't
Speaker 1: think it was quite time. He's still on the hospital, man,
Speaker 1: so I'll maybe let that wait till he comes back
Speaker 1: in studio. But it's just you and me today, buddy.
Speaker 1: We're rapping um. And so with the Leaner edition, we
Speaker 1: decided to bring in a very esteemed and special guest,
Speaker 1: very special, indeed, and one that you know quite well,
Speaker 1: one that I know very well. He is Let's see
Speaker 1: if you can guess this. He is a world champion dancer.
Speaker 1: Me uh not you okay okay, at the age of nineteen.
Speaker 1: A world champion dancer. He is a two time Emmy
Speaker 1: Award winner and nine time nomination nine nominations for an Emmy.
Speaker 1: He is a six time Dancing with the Stars champion
Speaker 1: six freaking times, six times. He's also current judge on
Speaker 1: World of Dance on NBC. He's a he has his
Speaker 1: own tour, dance tour. He's also a celebrated author. I
Speaker 1: could go on for days about this guy. He's also
Speaker 1: my most favorite thing. My brother in law, Mr. Derek
Speaker 1: Huff is here. That's my best intro. I do you
Speaker 1: bring family? And he doesn't really do it. Notice, say, Dmitri,
Speaker 1: you didn't get that intro. I got spelled or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then this resume comes flying down. Yeah. Man, No,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm happy to be here. Man, I'm happy to
Speaker 1: be here, and and it's uh yeah, I'm excited it.
Speaker 1: Let's get talking talking. I wanted, but I just wanted
Speaker 1: before we start. I want to say that this is
Speaker 1: because Derek has done all of that stuff. I don't
Speaker 1: want my brother in laws at home thinking like was
Speaker 1: it brother in law day? And you didn't strictly because
Speaker 1: he's way better than you. Guys, how many brother in
Speaker 1: law to Okay, well, Derek has four, he's got four.
Speaker 1: Brooks your favorite. Yes, um, I mean we're very close. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, it's it's a common question to be
Speaker 1: asked like who's your favorite sister, who's your favorite this?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I gotta I gotta be very uh
Speaker 1: very politically correct on that one. But I will say
Speaker 1: we have, we were very I'd say we're very close.
Speaker 1: We spent a lot of time together. We have spent
Speaker 1: in the past a lot of time together, been living
Speaker 1: together until recently when you moved out. But very similar
Speaker 1: in age. You're the same age as my younger brother.
Speaker 1: It was two years younger than me. So we have
Speaker 1: hit it off as brothers, and our relationship has certainly
Speaker 1: grown and expanded. And now it's which is which is
Speaker 1: kind of crazy because the thing is with Brooks and I, um,
Speaker 1: we are we were sort of polar opposites, um, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: just just in sort of the way we've lived their
Speaker 1: lives and just sort of our environments were so so different. Um,
Speaker 1: and so it was kind of it was interesting having
Speaker 1: him joined the family, and it was sort of like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is this is awesome. You know, this is great.
Speaker 1: And I mean, how is it for you? How is
Speaker 1: it for you joining the family because you're here, Because
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Here's the thing. There's so many there's
Speaker 1: so much, so many women in my family, so many
Speaker 1: they are like the dominant force, you know. And uh
Speaker 1: and usually, to be honest with you, the the guys
Speaker 1: who you know joined the family kind of kind of
Speaker 1: go with the flow. They just kind of like okay,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. And Brooks kind of you've got a locker
Speaker 1: room hockey guy who just comes back. He was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: this is why I live my life. This is what
Speaker 1: I do. Boom uh No, we're not doing that. And
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, that's what he did to us too,
Speaker 1: Like what is this He's he's being defiant towards this,
Speaker 1: this sort of like this pack of seriously and I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, respect, I like this, what is this? Okay?
Speaker 1: And then your sisters were like, Derek, be quiet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the first the first time I met all the
Speaker 1: sisters at once was at court a Lane. So we
Speaker 1: went to the your grandparents house boat hurricane. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: It was four sisters and there was just one talking
Speaker 1: over the other, over the other, over the other. And
Speaker 1: I just looked at this. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this is worse than a five on five hockey fight.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we have a line Sometimes we have a line
Speaker 1: brawl where all five guys fight all five guys. And
Speaker 1: there was more intensity in this conversation that I went,
Speaker 1: It's it's pretty amazy. But the thing is, and especially
Speaker 1: if you're not used to it, because when you're you know,
Speaker 1: as I call it a beautiful hurricane, because they're all beautiful.
Speaker 1: They're all wonderful, um, you know, human beings. But it
Speaker 1: is different. And so Brooks coming in with the dynamic
Speaker 1: of like just kind of honestly like a man's man,
Speaker 1: you know, like a fish play hockey, you know, buh
Speaker 1: blah blah blah boom. Um. It was different. We were
Speaker 1: just polar opposites. I feel like, you know, I had
Speaker 1: sort of been raised by women my whole life, Um,
Speaker 1: dancing with women, coached by women, like just surrounded by
Speaker 1: and it's been amazing. It's been incredible. But then to
Speaker 1: have that sort of um, that influence, that sort of uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, example of just like a dude, UM,
Speaker 1: definitely has been super beneficial to me. Uh, to this
Speaker 1: whole sort of relationship that we've we've built and grown
Speaker 1: and stuff. It's been awesome. I appreciate your brother and
Speaker 1: right back at you because I needed a lot of
Speaker 1: the lessons that I've learned through you and your sisters
Speaker 1: and being in the family, because coming from coming from
Speaker 1: I was my whole life. I spend in the locker room,
Speaker 1: so twenty three dudes, dudes, a lot of them alpha males.
Speaker 1: It was just the environment I was in. So I
Speaker 1: was actually I looked at you, and I was like, Damn,
Speaker 1: that guy's got the life. He spends his life around dancers,
Speaker 1: around beautiful women. I spend my life around naked dudes
Speaker 1: all day long. You know, Like, why did I choose
Speaker 1: this path plus hockey plus the locker room? But it
Speaker 1: was it was I've learned so much from d and
Speaker 1: I think, um, we really balanced each other out a lot.
Speaker 1: I learned a lot about how to be in contact
Speaker 1: with how to even speak with women. Is there an
Speaker 1: example you would be willing to share. Well, our first
Speaker 1: the first time so we met and stuff through so
Speaker 1: I through Julianne. We met, and then the first day
Speaker 1: that I went to his house to your old condo
Speaker 1: to hang out, like d and I are going to
Speaker 1: hang out just as dudes, one on one. UM, We're
Speaker 1: just chit chatting. And he I noticed he was like
Speaker 1: a little flustered, and I was like, what's up, dude?
Speaker 1: He's just like, is that a hard day? Had a
Speaker 1: hard more than just a bunch of stuff went wrong
Speaker 1: and I just had to like have a tear and
Speaker 1: get it out and stuff. And I was like it
Speaker 1: just caught me by it. I was like, whoa, that's
Speaker 1: a beer or here, um, but I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with out. I never hear
Speaker 1: that in a locker room, Like most guys would say
Speaker 1: the F word and stuff it and move on and whatever.
Speaker 1: That was the type of guy I was around. But
Speaker 1: here was a guy that that expressed his emotions, which
Speaker 1: was brand new to me. And I was a deer
Speaker 1: in a headlight because I had never done it. And
Speaker 1: now if I look at my life now, that was
Speaker 1: a kickstarter for me to be able to now emotionally
Speaker 1: express myself. Um, but before that, I was I was
Speaker 1: cold blooded. I didn't make uncomfortable that he was willing
Speaker 1: to cry and express that. That was how he dealt
Speaker 1: with whatever was going on. Let's not's not say he
Speaker 1: cried here, but he's just like he had by a
Speaker 1: sad clown. By the way, how by the way, how
Speaker 1: awesome though, how he's like trying to like he's like,
Speaker 1: hey man, he was he was still he was still okay.
Speaker 1: But no, let's be honest, I was crying. I was
Speaker 1: like in fetal position like no, but um but no.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because it is I've even seen sort of
Speaker 1: like and it's something we kind of talk about a
Speaker 1: little bit too, like you know, what is okay and
Speaker 1: acceptable or or perceived to be acceptable from like sort
Speaker 1: of the traditional masculinity, right and and at least for me,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been fortunate too, you know, express
Speaker 1: myself because I've been around women who you know, have
Speaker 1: no problem doing that whatsoever. So it comes very natural
Speaker 1: to me. Um, And it is like letting off sort
Speaker 1: of pressure off you know, the gauge, you know, if
Speaker 1: something is holding I'm holding something in I can release
Speaker 1: it um. But it it is interesting seeing like I
Speaker 1: have seen sort of a massive sort of growth and
Speaker 1: change in that within you. But at least for me again,
Speaker 1: it was almost I was almost like too far on
Speaker 1: that spectrum, you know what I mean, I almost like
Speaker 1: it was just almost too much. And so to be
Speaker 1: able to sort of have this sort of almost like
Speaker 1: structure you know of Brooks sort of in my life
Speaker 1: and you know, in my sort of environment and even
Speaker 1: living with him and having the routines that he has,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh man, this is I actually started
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit more like my not like true self,
Speaker 1: but kind of getting connected back to that like masculine Yeah,
Speaker 1: that energy, right energy. So it's like, you know, because
Speaker 1: you both have you have both energies right, like the
Speaker 1: masculing feminine you know, and whatever it might be. But
Speaker 1: I was definitely like off balance, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I was a little off balance. I I wished too
Speaker 1: we both were right and sounds like you guys needed
Speaker 1: each other. We did, We did. It was something very much.
Speaker 1: So dude, I think I believe that anything in an extreme.
Speaker 1: It is an imbalance, and I was extremely unemotional to
Speaker 1: the point where it affected my relationships. I was unable
Speaker 1: to emotionally connect with somebody. My whole life was about competition,
Speaker 1: about sensory deprivation, stuffing emotions, so that it was unfazed
Speaker 1: in competition, stuffing pain. So I was unfazed and can
Speaker 1: continue on um. But I don't think that's healthy and
Speaker 1: being cultured like that, undoubtedly it bleeds into to other
Speaker 1: areas of your life. So maybe it serves you well
Speaker 1: in your sport, which it at some point did for me,
Speaker 1: but it also inhibited any sort of personal connection or relationship.
Speaker 1: And for the bulk of that ten years until I
Speaker 1: met Julianne Derrick's sister, I was I was basically single.
Speaker 1: I was unable to connect with somebody. You know, it's interesting,
Speaker 1: It just kind of brought this up a little bit.
Speaker 1: But like just because you we're talking about relationships and
Speaker 1: you're talking about connecting. You know, it's interesting when I
Speaker 1: look back and I realized during my sort of like
Speaker 1: single years, I guess you could say I was on
Speaker 1: Dance with the Stars and I was teaching these women
Speaker 1: how to dance. I was connecting with them. I'm working
Speaker 1: with them, you know, all day, seven days a week
Speaker 1: for months at a time, and I get so connected
Speaker 1: with them it is like a relationship. So I felt
Speaker 1: like I was like satisfying the connection part with them.
Speaker 1: But um, and so I don't I didn't feel like
Speaker 1: I could ever like fully connect to an actual like
Speaker 1: girlfriend or somebody like that on a deep or deeper level,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It was almost like it
Speaker 1: was like met through where with them, and then it
Speaker 1: was like I would go home and does this makes sense?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think it was. And it kind
Speaker 1: of reminded me a little bit because and at least
Speaker 1: for me, that the biggest change in my life has
Speaker 1: been being in a community relationship for a long period
Speaker 1: of time. It's been a massive, you know change, and
Speaker 1: it's been wonderful. It's been incredible. I love it so much.
Speaker 1: And and it was something I was actually kind of
Speaker 1: fearful of at the beginning. Um, And I think that
Speaker 1: and I kind of used this as a sort of
Speaker 1: an example. But my buddy was saying, like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't you know, I can't have a whole of relationship,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm always dating somebody new all the time,
Speaker 1: and you can see he really wants something. And I
Speaker 1: was kind of reflecting back on my time one dance
Speaker 1: at the Stars where I was like I was almost
Speaker 1: having these bite size relationships. It was like bite size.
Speaker 1: Its almost like the appetizers small pretty much, you know,
Speaker 1: and we were never dating, but it was like it
Speaker 1: was still like a relationship, right, so probably you're probably
Speaker 1: getting something out of it to fulfillment absolutely. And it
Speaker 1: was only really when I was like I left the show.
Speaker 1: Oh I was off like a year, like a year
Speaker 1: and a half something like that, and there's like the space.
Speaker 1: There's like this like gap, this you know, this hunger
Speaker 1: of like oh I need, I want. I crave like
Speaker 1: of the whole meal, like the the actual main course.
Speaker 1: And so I was telling my buddy, I said like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: try like stop having like these appetizers, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. You need to like just kind of stop
Speaker 1: for a while and just be on your own and
Speaker 1: just be with yourself for a while and get hungry
Speaker 1: and crave that like main course, that main relationship that
Speaker 1: you so much desired. At least for me, that's how
Speaker 1: it felt. Once I sort of created that space where
Speaker 1: I was just with myself for like a year year
Speaker 1: and a half. Then it was like I was ready
Speaker 1: for it, you know. Um, so it was like sort
Speaker 1: of a an interesting thing. But you were talking about
Speaker 1: you know, connecting and and uh and at least for
Speaker 1: me again going back to the masculinity part, you know,
Speaker 1: balancing it out. Um, that's made such a huge difference,
Speaker 1: you know, for me in being able to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship with that you know, that polarity. So is
Speaker 1: it possible too, because you said you felt connected to
Speaker 1: each person that you were training, so it was like
Speaker 1: a mini relationship. Is it possible that even each season
Speaker 1: would end? And so it was just so you just
Speaker 1: got used to whatever this relationship was. Not that I'm
Speaker 1: saying it was a physical relationship, but whatever it was.
Speaker 1: You're like, Okay, this ends and then I'll move on
Speaker 1: to another one. Yes, So in your mind you're like,
Speaker 1: this is what love is, or this is what that
Speaker 1: emotional connection with a woman is. That it just ends
Speaker 1: and then there's another one. Yeah. And by the way,
Speaker 1: always I was always like super down, Like the next day,
Speaker 1: even if I won. I remember like winning, you know,
Speaker 1: and we're celebrating and like, yeah, we're on a private
Speaker 1: plane in New York. We do all the morning shows,
Speaker 1: and I'll almost every single time, you know, every time
Speaker 1: that that day, I felt super down. Everything seemed dark.
Speaker 1: I was like because I think, well, I think part
Speaker 1: of it too. It used to happen when I used
Speaker 1: to compete as well, where I would be like building
Speaker 1: up to like the biggest competition in the world. I'm
Speaker 1: practicing and training and there's a goal. I'm like, boom boom, boom,
Speaker 1: boom boom, and then you compete, it all happens and
Speaker 1: then it's over. You're like, yeah, it's like, it's just
Speaker 1: it's an awful feeling, um, even when you won, even
Speaker 1: if you have one, because it's like that whole build
Speaker 1: up was like, you know, you were looking forward to something,
Speaker 1: you have this clarity that you're working towards something, and
Speaker 1: what's over You're like, oh now, what, like what do
Speaker 1: I do? Like almost and it's just it only lasts
Speaker 1: for a little while. But that's how I felt every
Speaker 1: year after Dance from the Stars. And but like you said,
Speaker 1: too is I think also subconsciously I almost kind of
Speaker 1: you know, equated relationships to that they're just temporaries. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's gonna end. It's it's it's inevitable, it's going
Speaker 1: to end, um so I might as well just accept
Speaker 1: that and not, you know, step over the line and
Speaker 1: put two feet in. It was always like one ft
Speaker 1: in and one ft out, you know. And also too,
Speaker 1: I was an emotional guy, so I didn't. I I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't ever want to feel heartbreak. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think every woman listening is relating to that part
Speaker 1: in that the fear of the breakup, the fear of
Speaker 1: what could go wrong, is so stabilitating that we have
Speaker 1: to prepare for it, and I think we sabotage because
Speaker 1: we're trying so hard to protect ourselves from that. How
Speaker 1: did you learn to switch that and not fear it? Well,
Speaker 1: you know, you know you're trying. You're trying to not
Speaker 1: be fearful of sort of the inevitable, right in the
Speaker 1: sense that you're gonna get hurt. There's gonna be things
Speaker 1: that are gonna happen, you know, right, But like do
Speaker 1: you leave this, if you leave the if you leave
Speaker 1: the house, right, it's you don't know, it's uncertain right,
Speaker 1: It's it's the uncertainty you're gonna go drive, there's that
Speaker 1: there's a yellow line, you know, dividing you between oncoming traffic.
Speaker 1: And so if you're gonna be fearful, you'll never leave
Speaker 1: the house. You just have to have faith essentially, like
Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay, It's gonna work out. But also
Speaker 1: to for me, the relationship part of it, the example
Speaker 1: of seeing like Brooks and Julianne the commitment, the commitment
Speaker 1: that they had firsthand on a day to day basis
Speaker 1: because I lived with them. UM was a great example
Speaker 1: to see something work and be successful as a relations ship,
Speaker 1: to see things work out, to see things be worked through. UM.
Speaker 1: It was really beneficial for me to see that as
Speaker 1: an example. But also for me too is I started
Speaker 1: I sort of like there's a great expression that if
Speaker 1: you trade your expectations or appreciation, it changes because I
Speaker 1: always had this expectation of the perfect girl, the woman
Speaker 1: I need to be with. This is what I want
Speaker 1: from a woman, this is what I want in a relationship,
Speaker 1: this is what I this is like, this is what
Speaker 1: I want right And the problem there's a good thing
Speaker 1: with that, because you know you have a vision, I suppose,
Speaker 1: but the problem with that is that you're probably not
Speaker 1: gonna get all those different things, but you can work
Speaker 1: with them. You can, you can, you can you know,
Speaker 1: develop them. And so for me, when I traded my
Speaker 1: expectation for like, well, why well, she's not doing this
Speaker 1: and she's not texting me back and she's not doing
Speaker 1: this and if she only if she did this, then
Speaker 1: I would love her more. I feel like, I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, she's not desiring me, and I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, blah blah blah blah. So then it was
Speaker 1: like that moment of like, okay, how can I trade
Speaker 1: the expectation for appreciation right now? Okay, you know what?
Speaker 1: And changed my focus. Okay, you know what, she actually
Speaker 1: does do a lot of things. You know what. Wow,
Speaker 1: you know I love it when she like touches my
Speaker 1: hand or she kisses me in a certain way or
Speaker 1: whatever it might be in. And then it's like those
Speaker 1: feelings of like focusing on what I don't have or
Speaker 1: what i's what we don't have. I started focusing on
Speaker 1: what we do have and building from that and keep
Speaker 1: building from that because I appreciated them more or for
Speaker 1: the things that they did give you and not looking
Speaker 1: at what they didn't. And by the way. It's not
Speaker 1: like that was it. You know, it's all good, It's
Speaker 1: like I have to There's there's moments where those expectations
Speaker 1: come up, and then I realized that, like, oh, maybe
Speaker 1: I'm not giving something because if I'm giving, if I'm
Speaker 1: giving something to her, you know she's gonna want to
Speaker 1: do those things anyways. Naturally. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's it's not sort of like a well if you
Speaker 1: do this, then I'll do that, or even giving something
Speaker 1: to yourself, the peace or the faith to say, appreciate
Speaker 1: just where I'm at instead of expecting someone else to
Speaker 1: determine my happiness. I'd also like to just point out
Speaker 1: for those of you who just tuning in or whatever,
Speaker 1: this is what some people consider the perfect man, Derek
Speaker 1: Cuff having very human emotion. Oh my gosh, far from her.
Speaker 1: By the way, anybody anybody listening to that, can you
Speaker 1: resonate with that? Because I'm listening to that, I certainly can.
Speaker 1: Um Like words of my Queen Oprah, I just said,
Speaker 1: for the better part of ten years from twenty to thirty,
Speaker 1: I was single in my professional career, and I developed
Speaker 1: some sort of expectation of what a girlfriend was going
Speaker 1: to be like, and I couldn't have been more wrong.
Speaker 1: I could not have been more wrong. And this just
Speaker 1: developed over time. I thought a girlfriend was going to
Speaker 1: do this for me, and this for me, and this
Speaker 1: for me and this, and I never thought about, geez,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do for this person? And what
Speaker 1: you said about the appreciation thing is dead on, man,
Speaker 1: because as soon as I became aware of that, UM,
Speaker 1: I've always said that everybody exit UM. People look for
Speaker 1: somebody to fix them. They look for what is this
Speaker 1: person going to do for me? Versus? How can I
Speaker 1: become such an amazing person to offer to somebody? And
Speaker 1: so when I figured that out, then everything in me
Speaker 1: changed to appreciation, like you said, and also acceptance, like, wow,
Speaker 1: this person is amazing. I thought I was gonna get
Speaker 1: married and live back in Canada, spend my rest of
Speaker 1: my life in hockey, and I married an American girl
Speaker 1: who's a dancer that knew nothing about hockey, and now
Speaker 1: I live in Los Angeles, like I can't imagine. And
Speaker 1: so we actually had this conversation with Gavin about like
Speaker 1: what does because he's single, like, what what does do?
Speaker 1: You have an expectation of what a partner is supposed
Speaker 1: to be. That's actually limiting you from being in a
Speaker 1: relationship instead of just looking at the person you meet
Speaker 1: is like, Wow, this person is amazing and anything else
Speaker 1: I can I can communicate if there's something else I
Speaker 1: want in this relation. But he's got a lot of
Speaker 1: what you were saying as well. Remember if you remember,
Speaker 1: Gavin said he has to get himself right so that
Speaker 1: he feels like he can be the right person for
Speaker 1: for his partner or whatever. And I think we told
Speaker 1: them that. It was one of the earlier episodes. We
Speaker 1: told him, do you think any of our dad's thought, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at me, I'm perfect. Now now is the
Speaker 1: time to have kids? No, because there's never that moment
Speaker 1: where you think I'm perfect and I'm ready. So it's
Speaker 1: a matter of developing along the way. And like you said,
Speaker 1: changing from expectation to appreciation absolutely, And I think too,
Speaker 1: you know um when I uh that goes also not
Speaker 1: just in a relationship too. I feel like that's like
Speaker 1: in general in general, it's just in life, you know.
Speaker 1: I think that we have SoC high expectations for anything.
Speaker 1: Like I was just joking around with my my brother
Speaker 1: in law, Michael he's married to one of my sisters,
Speaker 1: mayor Bathan cool if he talks about a different brother
Speaker 1: in law. Yeah, I love Michael. Hey, I just want
Speaker 1: to make sure he's amazing. He's the dude. But he
Speaker 1: was like, man, I just lose it when the plane
Speaker 1: doesn't have WiFi, I just lose it. I can't believe
Speaker 1: it that that play We're Living two thousand nineteen, and
Speaker 1: I was like, bro, we're flying in a metal bird
Speaker 1: hundreds of miles an hour. It's a miracle. You're in
Speaker 1: the air where takes two hours to get to this
Speaker 1: location that would have taken you three days. Like that's
Speaker 1: an example of And he's like, why can't I get
Speaker 1: a text from the ground from somebody on the phone
Speaker 1: in their pocket, which, by the way, I get it.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel sometimes when there's no TVs in there, right,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh. But but the thing is,
Speaker 1: and in those moments you go, okay, hold on, my
Speaker 1: my sort of my perspective is a little off right now,
Speaker 1: My focus is a little off right now. This is
Speaker 1: a miracle. I'm also the appreciation, Like I'm driving on
Speaker 1: roads I didn't have to pave. I'm reading books. I
Speaker 1: didn't write. I'm you know, we're living in this you know,
Speaker 1: amazing homes. I didn't have to do whatever it is.
Speaker 1: You know, we live in an amazing age and certain
Speaker 1: things that there's a lot to be appreciative of, including
Speaker 1: our relationships and also with my my family, you know,
Speaker 1: um or just in general. I hear parents, you know, kids,
Speaker 1: my my mom, she doesn't understand. Or my dad, you know,
Speaker 1: he just doesn't understand. I just, oh gosh, I said,
Speaker 1: well hold on, I said, well, wow, what what were
Speaker 1: you expecting them to say to you to make you
Speaker 1: feel good? Well, they should just understand me. But you're
Speaker 1: expecting them to pause for a second, trade that for appreciation,
Speaker 1: for a second, focus on all things that they have
Speaker 1: done for you. Okay, well, you know he has helped
Speaker 1: me out financially here or you know he did call
Speaker 1: me that one day, and and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: that focus changes, and then all of a sudden you're
Speaker 1: in You're in a space now to actually give love
Speaker 1: and to understand the situation. So powerful because expectation when
Speaker 1: I'm listening to you, and even when you said, like
Speaker 1: talking about winning Dancing with the Stars, and then feeling
Speaker 1: kind of blue the next day. Expectation can be our
Speaker 1: undoing because I am applying it and if only he
Speaker 1: would text me every day, I'll be happy. But by
Speaker 1: the way, every relationship, I'm kid to check this out.
Speaker 1: So check this out. And you're not even in a
Speaker 1: big metal flying bird. This is on the ground if
Speaker 1: you're not getting so check this out right with g
Speaker 1: my my my um. I was on tour and I have,
Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of dancers, and one of my
Speaker 1: dancers she was crying and I was like, what's wrong?
Speaker 1: You know, She goes, oh, my boyfriend. You know he's
Speaker 1: not He was out last night and he wasn't texting
Speaker 1: me back, and you know, and I was telling him
Speaker 1: like how upset I was and all these different things.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, by the way, totally warranted. I understand,
Speaker 1: I get it. But I said, just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say something you could work. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Just me being a guy, I know that if I
Speaker 1: was told if I had my girlfriend and she said
Speaker 1: to me, you need to text me more, you need
Speaker 1: to do this, part of me would be like as
Speaker 1: like I'm like hold on, Like I kind of go.
Speaker 1: I kind of like, hold on, uh, what are you
Speaker 1: saying that I should do? And I should do this?
Speaker 1: And and I said try this, I said, say to
Speaker 1: him instead, even though you feel that way, to say, like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I love it when you I love
Speaker 1: that when you text me. I remember that time when
Speaker 1: you text I love that so much. And as a man,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I am a man, I did something good.
Speaker 1: I will text you now and I would love you
Speaker 1: because I made you feel happy. I am mad. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: Instead of being like you need to do this, you
Speaker 1: need to that. Then as a dude, I'm like you
Speaker 1: or or just take a step back and think, Okay,
Speaker 1: this guy like he's texting when he wants to text.
Speaker 1: If he's not texting me more, he doesn't want to
Speaker 1: so accept the fact that this is who that guy is.
Speaker 1: And maybe that's not that that's not the guy for you,
Speaker 1: but you need this and this is what he does.
Speaker 1: Because if someone said to me, I want you to
Speaker 1: text him more, then I'd be like, oh, I gotta
Speaker 1: start thinking of stuff to text, and then it's just
Speaker 1: gonna be more like when really when I text and
Speaker 1: I say what I want, what I'm thinking and what
Speaker 1: I want to say, and that's a little more genuine.
Speaker 1: So it's like, we don't you don't want it to
Speaker 1: be obligation. But I also will say this though too.
Speaker 1: I will also say too that it's I also don't
Speaker 1: think it's since that they don't want to text. I know,
Speaker 1: for me, I just I'm just kind of oblivious. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm just like doing things. I'm like this, I'm like here,
Speaker 1: I'm having a great day. I'm like, hey, baby, you
Speaker 1: know she's like, you didn't text me today? Like I
Speaker 1: was just living my life. I didn't a question for you, guys,
Speaker 1: because this is such a thing in so many relationships,
Speaker 1: like and I know it's bad in quotes to do,
Speaker 1: like if he would just text me every day, i'd
Speaker 1: be happy, because I won't be happy. I gotta get
Speaker 1: my own whatever you do, you want to be dependent
Speaker 1: on that question? Is is there a way to say
Speaker 1: it makes me so happy when you text me like
Speaker 1: you're saying, or is there a way for me to
Speaker 1: just not be so needy for those texts to like
Speaker 1: fill me up so much? And I think I want
Speaker 1: the text for I think I don't know that the
Speaker 1: person I want the text oh Brooks, they're gonna make
Speaker 1: me cry. It's okay tonight, it's okay, you're coming the
Speaker 1: water works. It's okay, it's good. By the way, this
Speaker 1: is actually, this is actually my natural state. This is
Speaker 1: my natural state. Are you not going to start? I'm
Speaker 1: feeling her. I feel it. I think you want the
Speaker 1: text to know that everything is okay, and then you're
Speaker 1: okay security so that you don't have to live an uncertainty.
Speaker 1: And so the uncertainty is the fear. Right. And then
Speaker 1: here's the thing that we live if we if we
Speaker 1: live in the split of certainty where we know everything,
Speaker 1: where everything's gonna, you know, be fine, and you know
Speaker 1: we we unfortunately, Um, it's painful because life is uncertain, right,
Speaker 1: Situations are uncertain people are uncertain. Um. But I think
Speaker 1: that I think with this in this situation obviously, because
Speaker 1: if you feel tremendously that there was because I hate,
Speaker 1: I hate so much that I have to live like
Speaker 1: that where somebody else has so much control and I
Speaker 1: don't know how to find the certainty myself, and it
Speaker 1: happens over and over and over and over again. So
Speaker 1: I know it's me. It's not the so amy I
Speaker 1: think you should. I don't. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: should give any advice on this or not, but like,
Speaker 1: you're an amazing person, like I would start with that,
Speaker 1: like you you don't need whoever this guy is to
Speaker 1: text you, or the next guy or the one before,
Speaker 1: Like I think it comes with being confident and really
Speaker 1: thoroughly happy and fulfilled with who you are as a person.
Speaker 1: And expectation is the mother of all disappointment. That's what
Speaker 1: they say, right, So, if we're expecting somebody to make
Speaker 1: us whole, it could be a very long and very uncertain,
Speaker 1: as you said, d life. But you are I love you,
Speaker 1: like I've loved this project working on how men think
Speaker 1: because of you, because of Danielle Tory Easton, like I'm
Speaker 1: so at Dmitri, like I'm so by the way, check
Speaker 1: your phone, but like you're I think, And for anybody
Speaker 1: else listening that struggles with this, like I think, give
Speaker 1: yourself a pad on the back. Um, you don't need
Speaker 1: somebody else to fill your cup up to make you happy,
Speaker 1: And maybe look at that first. How can you, in
Speaker 1: the course of your day make yourself completely happy, irrelevant
Speaker 1: of anybody around you or circumstances, around you, and you're
Speaker 1: such an amazing person. You give so much to so
Speaker 1: many people, and I don't know if you give yourself
Speaker 1: enough credit for that. I think what with Derek said
Speaker 1: is because you have this expectation, it's like you're like
Speaker 1: a drug addict. So you're like, I need the drugs again,
Speaker 1: I need the drugs again, that you forget to even
Speaker 1: appreciate everything that and that everything is fine and you
Speaker 1: don't need that text or that call or whatever it
Speaker 1: is that we're seeking to be secure. It's it's accepting
Speaker 1: uncertainty and being okay with it. And it's like, um man,
Speaker 1: one of these years, I'll accept it because I've been
Speaker 1: working at it. But you know what part of that too?
Speaker 1: And Tony Robbins talks about this a lot, where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know where focus goes, your energy flows, Wherever your
Speaker 1: focus is, what you're gonna feel no matter what it is.
Speaker 1: And by the way it is, you know somebody talking
Speaker 1: bad about you, You hear something says, oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: so and so it said something about you, Like what,
Speaker 1: I can't believe that? And you're feeling all these expressions,
Speaker 1: all these feelings, and that's very real and then you realize, oh,
Speaker 1: they actually never said anything, but you experienced that very
Speaker 1: very real. That was real because you're focusing on something
Speaker 1: that didn't even exist. So as a good example for
Speaker 1: this again going back to the focus on the appreciation part,
Speaker 1: not the expectation, because for instance, say like you not
Speaker 1: might not be getting something that you feel like you
Speaker 1: need right um, because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you don't don't really need it at really like if
Speaker 1: you look kind of stop for a second, take stock,
Speaker 1: and kind of like to sit here and go, hey,
Speaker 1: we're in a room right now, We've got a c on,
Speaker 1: we're chilling here and just staying super super super present.
Speaker 1: Everything's fine, like in this exact moment, but what happened
Speaker 1: we're projecting about like, well, what's happening? Where, where is
Speaker 1: he at? Where she at? What's going on? Are they
Speaker 1: thinking about me? What's this? And so I'm so like
Speaker 1: out here that my all my focuses is out here
Speaker 1: and I'm feeling all this pain when in reality, I'm
Speaker 1: sitting here and there's absolutely nothing to be fearful or painful.
Speaker 1: There should be nothing. We're chilling right here, right here.
Speaker 1: But when we start going here and projecting out in
Speaker 1: the future and what are they doing all these things?
Speaker 1: So whatever you focus on is what you feel to
Speaker 1: change change your focus, change change at all. I find
Speaker 1: you very soothing, see why I'm happy to have this,
Speaker 1: Guys of all huffs make me cry, but it's so true.
Speaker 1: It's you get so focused on all this uncertainty and
Speaker 1: what does it mean and what's going on and the
Speaker 1: pain and the angst and this and that, that it's
Speaker 1: like nothing's even wrong, nothing's probably even wrong. And why
Speaker 1: does a text or call or someone else give us
Speaker 1: that fill us up when it's like chill out? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: can go ahead? Can I just sorry? I just gotta
Speaker 1: have to paint a picture of everybody. There's nothing Amy
Speaker 1: is sitting here in study with a shirt that says,
Speaker 1: I love love sobbing. There's nothing. There's nothing more heartwrenching
Speaker 1: than this right now, because I'm aware now that it's
Speaker 1: not the other person, because there's been a line of
Speaker 1: Brugs has heard me say this same thing for years
Speaker 1: and years, and it's not the same guy each time.
Speaker 1: So it's not the guy. It's me, right, you know.
Speaker 1: It's interesting to going back to the um, the being enough,
Speaker 1: being enough, feeling like you're enough. You know, that's by
Speaker 1: the way of fear that's universal, that's not just you
Speaker 1: or me, and that is like the entire population. One
Speaker 1: of the deepest fears is am I enough? And that
Speaker 1: starts from being a kid, you know, I mean animas
Speaker 1: to get older, and then it gets deeper. That groove
Speaker 1: gets deeper and deeper, and that's kind of I feel
Speaker 1: like what that fear is is like am I enough?
Speaker 1: Am I enough? And checking? Am I enough? Am I
Speaker 1: not good enough? Am I good enough? To love? Am
Speaker 1: I good? Am I enough? And the truth is And
Speaker 1: this is something that I kind of realized for me
Speaker 1: that helped me because for me growing up, I was
Speaker 1: didn't think I was ever enough ever. You know, I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: if I if I win, if I succeed, if I'm successful,
Speaker 1: then I'll be enough. And then I would win these
Speaker 1: competitions and I was like the world champion, and then
Speaker 1: they would finish and I was like, wow, I'm depressed.
Speaker 1: It's still not enough. It doesn't matter because it's not
Speaker 1: really about what we sort of achieve. It's about who
Speaker 1: we become right as people as side of the main thing.
Speaker 1: But then it was that realization for me that if
Speaker 1: if I was alone in a field, if you're alone
Speaker 1: in a field by yourself, with nothing, no possessions, nothing, nothing,
Speaker 1: just you, that you are enough, You always have been,
Speaker 1: and you always will be, no matter what, no matter what,
Speaker 1: you are already enough. And just knowing that and reminding
Speaker 1: yourself of that for me as if that's the foundation
Speaker 1: of where you can launch off and just conquer the
Speaker 1: world and do things instead of striving and chase seeing
Speaker 1: these small things to sort of, you know, validate, Am
Speaker 1: I enough? Yeah? Oh I am enough? Okay, cool for
Speaker 1: a moment, and then I go, oh, I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: enough enough? Oh I got text, I'm enough, I'm oh,
Speaker 1: I got this thing this I just want to I'm
Speaker 1: enough enough. And then the fleeting because you're dependent on
Speaker 1: other things outside, you're out of your control to make
Speaker 1: you feel like you're enough. I love this, dude. I
Speaker 1: think this is a bigger conversation. I want to dive
Speaker 1: more into this man enough, woman, enough? What is enough
Speaker 1: to an individual? And I want to get more of
Speaker 1: your story, but we gotta take a break first. Inspiration
Speaker 1: that looks the talent you make me sick. That's enough
Speaker 1: to me back from break. This is Brooks like on
Speaker 1: How Men Think, and we're in studio with Dmitri Amy
Speaker 1: and my brother in law Derek, and so far in
Speaker 1: the show, I think you guys have got a great
Speaker 1: taste of why I feel so fortunate to have this
Speaker 1: guy as my brother. I don't. I don't even like
Speaker 1: saying brother in law as my brother because of the
Speaker 1: the amazing and immense positive influence he's been on me.
Speaker 1: But I want to get more into enough. And you
Speaker 1: talked a lot about it on your tour, the recent
Speaker 1: dance to her that you had at which I which
Speaker 1: was freaking awesome, like a rock star freaking show. We
Speaker 1: can get more into that later, but um, enough, as
Speaker 1: a man, as a woman in this world, how do
Speaker 1: you develop the ability to be or to feel like
Speaker 1: you are enough? So you said you would win. You
Speaker 1: won Dancing with the Stars six times. You would go
Speaker 1: home that evening as celebrating the biggest possible high. And
Speaker 1: you told me you'd get to your house and the
Speaker 1: lights would be off and you'd get in and you
Speaker 1: would feel terrible. Absolutely. I mean often I would cry,
Speaker 1: honestly because I was like it just it just it
Speaker 1: was like as if it never happened. Right, it's just
Speaker 1: like you blinking, Like it doesn't even matter, Like does
Speaker 1: this even matter? What am I doing? Like what's what's
Speaker 1: what's what's the meaning of all this? Like who? And
Speaker 1: then I got to a point where I was like
Speaker 1: who cares? Like there's no desire to even continue what
Speaker 1: I was doing. Um And even at a certain point
Speaker 1: where I actually was like I wanted to just stop
Speaker 1: doing the show completely because I lost the meaning um
Speaker 1: of you know, why why why am I doing this? Um?
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you. Yeah, so, I
Speaker 1: I believe and I'm guilty of this. I believe a
Speaker 1: lot of people and anybody listening may resonate with this.
Speaker 1: We identify ourselves. Our sense of identity comes through what
Speaker 1: we do professionally. I was a professional hockey player, right,
Speaker 1: That's who I was. My sense of identity came through
Speaker 1: what I did as a career, and I needed to
Speaker 1: figure out that my sense of identity wasn't what I did,
Speaker 1: but who I am as a man. But how did
Speaker 1: that happen? Because it sounds like you went through the
Speaker 1: same thing where your sense of identity came from. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a world champion, dancer, I'm Dancing with the Stars champion,
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, when that's gone, you're
Speaker 1: left with a vacancy of well, who am I? Am
Speaker 1: I enough? So? How did you? How did you go
Speaker 1: through the process of one you became aware of it
Speaker 1: then too, what did you do? Are there books you
Speaker 1: read or the things you listen to? But what did
Speaker 1: you do to grow to where it didn't matter what
Speaker 1: happened career or professional or anything else in life where
Speaker 1: you just felt like you were in a field by
Speaker 1: yourself and you were enough well, by the way, to
Speaker 1: add to that too, not just professionally, but also relationship wise.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of heartbreaks where you know, previous
Speaker 1: girlfriends where they they broke up with me and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, I don't have enough money.
Speaker 1: I don't have enough success. It was all like superficial
Speaker 1: things too, by the way. It wasn't like I'm not
Speaker 1: a good enough person. It was always like I just
Speaker 1: don't have enough money. I don't I don't have this
Speaker 1: like they want somebody that has boats and cars and
Speaker 1: houses and all these things, right, and I'm just I'm
Speaker 1: a loser. Well and actually it drove me two for
Speaker 1: a while. That's powerful, powerful motivator fuel. And I was like, well, crap,
Speaker 1: I gotta like to to get love. It was almost
Speaker 1: like success equal love without equal then fulfillment and enough. No, no,
Speaker 1: I mean I thought it did. I thought it did.
Speaker 1: I thought that's success equal love. If I'm just successful,
Speaker 1: then I will be loved. If I'm just achieving something,
Speaker 1: then my even my family will love me, by the
Speaker 1: way my family loved me. But I would never even
Speaker 1: accept that love, and especially in a relationship. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be good enough for relationship unless I'm successful.
Speaker 1: And what I didn't realize was, you know, that sort
Speaker 1: of formula success equal love was a terrible formula, terrible
Speaker 1: formula formula that you know you're wearing, like I love love,
Speaker 1: like love is love, Like if I if I love,
Speaker 1: if I just love and I love myself, and I'm
Speaker 1: as as kind of like hippie dippies as sounds of course,
Speaker 1: you know, and but truly without the achievements, without the
Speaker 1: practical things and the trophies of the money or the house,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. If I just like love who I
Speaker 1: am as a person, then man, I'm gonna attract so
Speaker 1: much more. And it's and it's so much different because
Speaker 1: it's ah, I don't know, it's just that's where you
Speaker 1: guys kind of messed up, is because you had this
Speaker 1: successful career and now you're like, does this define me?
Speaker 1: Or do I define myself? See? The secret is what
Speaker 1: I did don't be very good at anything, and that's way,
Speaker 1: there's nothing to define you. Accept yourself. Like I'm freaking
Speaker 1: hard on this never great career, mediocre lover, I mean,
Speaker 1: this is it. So I'm like, I don't have a vote,
Speaker 1: but you know I can rent one probably by the way,
Speaker 1: don't buy a boat, which just random boat boats are
Speaker 1: just so okay. Well, I want to give our listeners
Speaker 1: some practical things to for anybody out there that's not
Speaker 1: feeling enough, because clearly you went and I watched this
Speaker 1: we live together, I watch you go through a massive transition,
Speaker 1: which I'm so proud of you for the work. You
Speaker 1: guys don't know. This guy works on himself daily and
Speaker 1: I don't mean his career. I mean his his thoughts,
Speaker 1: his minds, his his process in life, his philosophy and life.
Speaker 1: He works on you digest more information than Almo anybody
Speaker 1: I've ever seen. You always have something motivational and you're
Speaker 1: always watching this or learning this, or we have great
Speaker 1: discussions at the house. You're super way deeper than and
Speaker 1: then I, I mean, it's a negative way way deeper
Speaker 1: than I expected. Like you are very motivational and you
Speaker 1: started talking. I was like, oh, it's more than just
Speaker 1: more than fluff, more than Ryan Stones and keeps because
Speaker 1: he I see, I lived with him for almost four years.
Speaker 1: He digs into himself. And I give you credit for that.
Speaker 1: What are some what are some sources that you that
Speaker 1: you find really powerful that you could share with our
Speaker 1: listeners Where I read this and I watched this video
Speaker 1: or speakers that you really listen to. And that was
Speaker 1: That's the thing too. By the way that I got
Speaker 1: to a point so where I was in such a
Speaker 1: honestly a really dark place that I just kind of
Speaker 1: reached sort of a threshold of you know, um, I
Speaker 1: must change. You're not like, oh, you know what I
Speaker 1: should change. I should do this, I should do that,
Speaker 1: I should work on myself. I should It was like
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no, I must change. I must do this.
Speaker 1: I'm must And it became more urgent. It became more
Speaker 1: of like a priority, and I would listen to I
Speaker 1: listen to things on the daily, you know, on the
Speaker 1: way here, I listened to the YouTube video, whether it
Speaker 1: be like Les Brown or you know, Tony Robbins. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of his. Obviously, I went to
Speaker 1: a seminar when it's fifteen years old actually and still
Speaker 1: the few little nuggets, um forgot most of it, but
Speaker 1: just a feudle things. But as an adult, UM, I'm
Speaker 1: so thankful for those, for those like you know, um,
Speaker 1: little skills. Um. But that that's the thing too, going
Speaker 1: back to the focus. Whatever you focus on is what
Speaker 1: you feel. It's especially with this day and age where
Speaker 1: we're we're trained to to think we're not enough. On
Speaker 1: social media, everybody's having these amazing lives and doing this
Speaker 1: and doing that, and oh my gosh, and they have
Speaker 1: the perfect relationship and all these things are happening. I
Speaker 1: don't have that, and you're focused on what you don't
Speaker 1: have instead of what you do have. And so I
Speaker 1: think it's really important too to consciously, you know, say
Speaker 1: oh I'm gonna watch something that's gonna be it's gonna
Speaker 1: fill me up. I'm gonna listen to something that's gonna
Speaker 1: fill me up, it's gonna put me in the play
Speaker 1: used to to create the right decisions and to make
Speaker 1: the right decisions and to be able to focus on
Speaker 1: the right things. Have you learned in all your like
Speaker 1: sort of study of this why our default is to
Speaker 1: go to the negative? Like why or or is that
Speaker 1: just how I'm wired connection to somebody else? I think
Speaker 1: it's the way I think we just connect, Like imagine,
Speaker 1: like you know, you see, you see I've seen a
Speaker 1: lot at least you know, with my sisters or or
Speaker 1: people I'm dancing with. You know, somebody said walks in
Speaker 1: and goes like, oh man, I'm so tired. I might
Speaker 1: not be tired, but I'm like, oh yeah, man, me too,
Speaker 1: me too, because you're just like connecting you want to
Speaker 1: connect to each other. Oh man, I'm just paying and
Speaker 1: you connect yourself a lot of that way too, with
Speaker 1: like sadness and all the different emotions. Why do I
Speaker 1: go to the like, oh, I think we're falling apart
Speaker 1: and he's going to leave me and this is bad
Speaker 1: when all I really could just be doing with the
Speaker 1: same evidence that I have is I think we're good
Speaker 1: like everything's good, we're happy, Like, why do it does
Speaker 1: my mind? I think it's a defense too, because if
Speaker 1: you're here, if you're already down here, the fall is
Speaker 1: a lot less. If you're thinking everything's great, and then
Speaker 1: there's the same fall, it's in your mind. It's you've
Speaker 1: just crashed from this euphoric place. There's also I was
Speaker 1: reading this today. Um, there's a thing called loss a version.
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard a loss of version? So they
Speaker 1: actually I think that. I think the guy's names were
Speaker 1: Tversky and uh Kanaman, the guys that study don't quote
Speaker 1: me on that, but that's correct. Um Um. This is
Speaker 1: what it means is that the a negative emotion is
Speaker 1: so much more powerful than a positive emotion. So essentially,
Speaker 1: losing a hundred bucks at gambling is way more to
Speaker 1: In fact, they say, twice as powerful as winning. You'll
Speaker 1: remember that loss, but you won't remember the hundred dollars
Speaker 1: that you want. And it even they even found that
Speaker 1: it happens. This loss of version happens in kids. So
Speaker 1: a child, when looking at a parent with a happy face,
Speaker 1: they feel happy. When looking at a parent with a
Speaker 1: sad face, they feel sad when looking at a parent
Speaker 1: with a new, utral, feast face. They feel sad because
Speaker 1: they're like, how come, how come he's not happy? So
Speaker 1: that means like almost two thirds of our lives. Like,
Speaker 1: if we have an engagement, Amy, if we have we
Speaker 1: have a discussion, I don't leave you with a big
Speaker 1: smile on my face. You're probably thinking if I just
Speaker 1: leave you neutral, You're like, what's wrong? What's what's wrong
Speaker 1: with this guy's It's called loss of version. But also
Speaker 1: I think to add to that, I think, think about
Speaker 1: our brains, right, think about our brains. There's sort of
Speaker 1: these press ancient things, right, they've been thousands of years whatever,
Speaker 1: but we're still run on the same software. And back
Speaker 1: then we had a look for danger. We had to
Speaker 1: look for the saber streets, target tiger or this and that,
Speaker 1: and we had to look for the right berries and
Speaker 1: we didn't poison ourselves. We had to be super visionally.
Speaker 1: It's a survival mode to look for all the bad,
Speaker 1: dangerous things. We live in a day and age where
Speaker 1: we don't have to worry about saber street tigers jumping
Speaker 1: out and all these things. Our lives are pretty pretty
Speaker 1: easy in that sense, but our brains are still in
Speaker 1: the same software, So we're looking for the bad things.
Speaker 1: We're looking for the person saying something about us. We're
Speaker 1: not giving us this sort of validation. We're looking for
Speaker 1: all the bad and the negative, right because we run
Speaker 1: on the old software. So it's sort of that that
Speaker 1: our brain isn't designed to make us happy. It's designed
Speaker 1: to make it survive, and it's designed to look for
Speaker 1: all the bad things. So we have to sort of
Speaker 1: get out of our heads and like into sort of
Speaker 1: like our bodies and our hearts. And it's funny actually,
Speaker 1: because Julian's working a lot on this like movement sort
Speaker 1: of thing, and you know, um, but keenergy energy. There's
Speaker 1: a plug energy dot com. You're welcome love energy on
Speaker 1: Instagram exactly. But it's but it's interesting and then you
Speaker 1: realize that your brain is it's just in survival mode
Speaker 1: essentially and looking for all the wrong things and the
Speaker 1: bad things. And that's kind of what we go to,
Speaker 1: these these sort of defaults of like bad like what
Speaker 1: Dmitri said about the fall being lower if you're prepared
Speaker 1: for something bad. But what I want is to just
Speaker 1: go I'll just take the fall from the high dive
Speaker 1: and be happy. For as long as I can. What
Speaker 1: are you happy? Are you thinking about the fall from
Speaker 1: the high dive? Like, are you up there thinking, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm happy? Are you thinking I'm happy? But at any
Speaker 1: moment it's all going to be taken from me. Well,
Speaker 1: I'd like to say, I want to not go to
Speaker 1: the dark place and know that I can survive the
Speaker 1: fall from the high dive. So just stay in the light,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And survived the fall from
Speaker 1: the high dive. You can, So it's not a question
Speaker 1: of can I. You can and you will whenever you
Speaker 1: do fall. So I think think of it more um
Speaker 1: that way, in the sense of when I fall, I
Speaker 1: will survive, not can I? And not will it come? Yes,
Speaker 1: and you're going to have a fall from the high dive.
Speaker 1: No one stays on the high worrying and protecting myself
Speaker 1: so much from things that don't even exist. But also
Speaker 1: to is the timing of it too. I always find
Speaker 1: this interesting, to the timing of the way we allow
Speaker 1: ourselves to feel a certain way, And at least for me,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work on that myself personally. You know,
Speaker 1: where something happens to me, It just recently happened. Actually,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've noticed what we at the lake.
Speaker 1: I was kind of in my head. I was in
Speaker 1: my head a little bit because there's been some issues
Speaker 1: at my house, you know, and crazy neighbor, and I
Speaker 1: just was telling in this place of honestly of like
Speaker 1: rage and compassion and confusion and all these things. I
Speaker 1: was like, what is happening? But what happens that it's
Speaker 1: too shortening that which I mean conscious be Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna feel this, honor those emotions. Okay, I feel this.
Speaker 1: This sucks pretty cool? All right? All right? Now the
Speaker 1: time to change and get out of this and go
Speaker 1: into my you know, go somewhere else with this instead
Speaker 1: of like and giving yourself sort of like a almost
Speaker 1: like an honor of the emotions. Don't ever stuff them,
Speaker 1: don't ever like ignore them, feel them even for me,
Speaker 1: Like I used to think anger was like a week
Speaker 1: a week emotion. I never wanted to be angry, and
Speaker 1: I didn't like seeing people angry. I thought that they
Speaker 1: were like, like not good people. And I realized I
Speaker 1: was stuffing a lot of anger I had, and I
Speaker 1: actually worked on myself a lot. I did with this
Speaker 1: whole thing, and I actually released a lot of anger
Speaker 1: in a healthy way, in a good way, and whether
Speaker 1: it be like listening to certain music and whatever might be,
Speaker 1: but being angry, Yeah, listen was like that I don't
Speaker 1: normally listen to well no, but like I mean, like,
Speaker 1: you know, so I have a question on that. So
Speaker 1: anxious or worried, like oh, he's not connecting with me.
Speaker 1: You say, yes, it's scary to be vulnerable, and it
Speaker 1: is scary, but acknowledge it and then say okay, and
Speaker 1: then now I'm gonna be appreciative of how lucky I
Speaker 1: am that I change of change the focus on or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. Yeah, and just change the focus and
Speaker 1: started to sort of focus on all the things. Like
Speaker 1: gratitude is sort of like the antidote to fear. Boom
Speaker 1: very Well said, gratitode is the antidote to fear. You
Speaker 1: start immediately you start to feeling fearful of something, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, when we say we're stressed, we're fearful.
Speaker 1: When we're saying we're have anxiety, we're fearful of something,
Speaker 1: it's just fear right at the bottom line of it.
Speaker 1: So if you start getting grateful, that's the antidote. You go,
Speaker 1: you know what, Wow, what I have great friends. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm hanging out with these amazing dudes and these amazing
Speaker 1: ladies and and wow, what suns out today? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I put some songs, you know what. I'm I'm in
Speaker 1: a car, I'm driving somewhere, like the little things, and
Speaker 1: you start stacking this feeling of gratitude, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, like the fear starts to dissipate. And it's
Speaker 1: just and honestly, it's a technique. It's like practice. It's
Speaker 1: not just like a thought like Okay, cool, that's a
Speaker 1: cool concept, and then like then that's it. It's like
Speaker 1: just like working out your physical muscle, you gotta work
Speaker 1: on your emotional muscle every day consistent, you know, every
Speaker 1: single day. I gotta work with my emotional muscle. I
Speaker 1: gotta practice. I gotta do these things. And that's what's
Speaker 1: really important. I feel. And I noticed when I start
Speaker 1: to slip, when I started, when my emotional muscles start
Speaker 1: to getting a little bit like at your fee like
Speaker 1: me right now, I'm hardly I can I can exactly
Speaker 1: attest to what he's saying. So he nailed it, and
Speaker 1: a way to feel more confident or comfortable about yourself,
Speaker 1: and isis is to feel grateful for the opportunity. So
Speaker 1: great gratitude for the whatever opportunity, the opportunity to engage
Speaker 1: with somebody, all these little things you talked about, driving
Speaker 1: a car suns out, the opportunity to do this podcast. Whatever.
Speaker 1: Gratitude for the opportunity removes all kinds of self doubt
Speaker 1: and fear, uncertainty, expectation. Yeah, you just live. You're actually
Speaker 1: a lot more present and a lot more composed. But
Speaker 1: I also want to get into what you said, Amy,
Speaker 1: what you talked about about the fall from the top.
Speaker 1: Will I survive that? Well, here's my story. From the
Speaker 1: time of thirteen until the age of thirty five, I
Speaker 1: pursued winning a Stanley Cup. That was my whole. Every decision,
Speaker 1: every single decision in the course of my day revolved
Speaker 1: around what was going to make me a better hockey player, training, diet, nutritions, sleep, everything.
Speaker 1: From the age of thirteen to win a Stanley Cup.
Speaker 1: And I didn't win it. That's a to me, that's
Speaker 1: a massive failure. Like I look at that, like I
Speaker 1: almost look at my is Wow, that's my career might
Speaker 1: have been a huge failure. Even though I played in
Speaker 1: the NHL for thirteen years, I played three times longer
Speaker 1: than the average career. Um, so I'm left and I
Speaker 1: went through this you were with you're at the house
Speaker 1: there when I when I was done playing hockey, I
Speaker 1: went through a stage of like and I'm still going
Speaker 1: through it. I'll be completely vulnerable and honest, I'm not
Speaker 1: completely at peace with it. But am I enough because
Speaker 1: of all of the twenty two years that I deem
Speaker 1: a failure, Like, oh not not a total failure. But
Speaker 1: when I my good days, I'm looking at, man, I
Speaker 1: lived the life, the greatest life I ever played hockey.
Speaker 1: I did at thirty five what I did when I
Speaker 1: was five? Like how great is that? Like I played
Speaker 1: a game my entire life. What a blessing? Those are
Speaker 1: my good days. I look at the opportunity that I had.
Speaker 1: The bad days, I look at damn it, I didn't
Speaker 1: win a Stanley Cup. I want to I want to
Speaker 1: fight somebody, like you know, and I get piste off
Speaker 1: of the people that were in the game that might
Speaker 1: have had an involvement in me being traded and this
Speaker 1: and that, and I look at I aim stuff versus
Speaker 1: being grateful for every single day that I had to
Speaker 1: express myself through playing the sport that I loved. Get
Speaker 1: so angry, he wants to listen to bad music, but
Speaker 1: just tapping. That's what I think that will just be
Speaker 1: forever that you'll have days where you feel that. Certainly,
Speaker 1: I think there's always going to be some part of
Speaker 1: me that will always feel that vacancy. Um. But I
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you this because you've had the successes
Speaker 1: and I didn't feel enough. What about somebody that's had
Speaker 1: a massive, not set back, but a massive loss or
Speaker 1: didn't have the success How do how do I feel
Speaker 1: enough on the daily? Well, for me like listening to
Speaker 1: you say that, and it's it's actually interesting because to
Speaker 1: be completely honest, Brooks, I never really saw that vulnerable
Speaker 1: part in Brooks after he you know, stopped playing hockey
Speaker 1: um professionally, and it's it was actually been really interesting
Speaker 1: to me to hear you know what I mean? Did
Speaker 1: you hear you say and out loud? And for me
Speaker 1: it actually like okay to me with a lot. But
Speaker 1: it's interesting about that. I think it's because at a
Speaker 1: young age, we we go okay, Derek. For me at
Speaker 1: least it's like you're gonna be you want to be
Speaker 1: a world champion. You know, this is what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: And so we equate like that to being like the
Speaker 1: definition of who of of who I am and what
Speaker 1: successful and what success is. But what's interesting for me
Speaker 1: when I even just be on an outsider look looking in,
Speaker 1: you know, at your career for instance, you know I
Speaker 1: think of like, oh, you scored like a hat trick.
Speaker 1: How many people have done that in their whole entire career?
Speaker 1: Not very many that percentage wise, that's unbelievable. Not only
Speaker 1: that you were beloved by you know, all the stories
Speaker 1: about you from fans from the city were like, wow,
Speaker 1: you know there was a time when Brooks, you know,
Speaker 1: they won this big game and he was a driving
Speaker 1: home in the rain and he pulled everywhere's partying and
Speaker 1: doing all these things. We lost that game. Okay, makes
Speaker 1: a story better at all? Okay, he lost the game
Speaker 1: and people are people are you know that they're doing
Speaker 1: things it is raining, and he stops over the shoulder
Speaker 1: and helps us. Lady, I think she's pregnant right now.
Speaker 1: She had a little she had a daughter with her daughter.
Speaker 1: Helps change her tire always and like the city like
Speaker 1: knew him as this great guy, great man. And by
Speaker 1: no means do I look at at least for me
Speaker 1: looking in and looking at sort of a piece of hardware,
Speaker 1: you know, that's the thing for me, Like when I
Speaker 1: go home and I look at because it's not about
Speaker 1: what you achieve, it's about who you become, who you
Speaker 1: become as a man, as a person. And so when
Speaker 1: I would go home and I'm looking at these Emmy
Speaker 1: awards and I'm looking at the hardware right in this
Speaker 1: sort of lonely room, I'm by myself, and I'm like
Speaker 1: crying because I'm like, Wow, this sucks because I've achieved
Speaker 1: the ultimate and what I thought was the ultimate. Now
Speaker 1: what that's like? What it's like? Tony says, success without
Speaker 1: fulfillment is the ultimate failure. So achieving achieving a professional
Speaker 1: success without any sort of happiness or fulfillment is the
Speaker 1: ultimate failing. And you see many people um that are millionaires, billionaires,
Speaker 1: very successful people. Uh some unfortunately commit suicide, Some have
Speaker 1: substance abuse problems or marriage problems. They don't live a
Speaker 1: fulfilled life because they're not balanced. Because also too, it's
Speaker 1: about me achieving this right, it's about me. It's about me,
Speaker 1: It's about I need to do this. And then when
Speaker 1: I realized, I was like at that moment, I was like, man,
Speaker 1: I ain't gotta like I want to. I want to
Speaker 1: give a little bit more. I need to serve a
Speaker 1: little bit more. I need to make this less about
Speaker 1: me and more about we. And you know, for me personally,
Speaker 1: seeing you know, the growth and the sort of the
Speaker 1: development and and uh, at least personally for me, that
Speaker 1: has been the most rewarding, fulfilling aspect sort of my life.
Speaker 1: And uh not this sort of the hardware and the
Speaker 1: trophies and most things to hear you guys talk about
Speaker 1: your careers and the fulfillment it brings. And I know
Speaker 1: if this is a woman thing versus a man thing,
Speaker 1: because I've achieved a lot in my career and it's great,
Speaker 1: and I've failed a lot in my career and it's great.
Speaker 1: Like it's very on a scale of one to ten,
Speaker 1: they both kind of have a right sort of close together.
Speaker 1: But in my relationships there's so much more impactful and
Speaker 1: they mean so much more, and the losses are so
Speaker 1: hard and the good moments are such a high that
Speaker 1: I think it's so fascinating because it's like for me
Speaker 1: so great, Like yeah, it's it's not that I take
Speaker 1: it for granted or I don't appreciate it. It just hovers.
Speaker 1: The failures and the successes are real close together, and
Speaker 1: they all sort of ebb and flow, and it's all good.
Speaker 1: And I have absolute, total security and faith in it.
Speaker 1: And I would love to be able to translate that
Speaker 1: peace two relationships. Whether I succeed or fail. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: I want to dig more into that right after this break. Okay,
Speaker 1: further in this conversation, let's get more into that, Aimy.
Speaker 1: How you mentioned that a loss in your in your
Speaker 1: professional career does not the emotional toll it takes on
Speaker 1: you is not even close to a loss or even
Speaker 1: uncertainty in your in your personal life. So I think
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a male or female thing,
Speaker 1: and I want to open this up to you guys
Speaker 1: to discuss that. But I think the what Derek and
Speaker 1: I are talking about, how the professional thing makes us
Speaker 1: not feel enough, I think it's the same emotion at
Speaker 1: the base of your emotion in the relationship, it's just yours.
Speaker 1: It's just a different forum yours relationship, ours is maybe career.
Speaker 1: But what do you guys think on this? And I
Speaker 1: don't think it's necessarily male female. I think that it's
Speaker 1: just basically I think that in our just particular cases,
Speaker 1: we just were brought up competitive and that sort of
Speaker 1: environment where it was like winning equal you know, love
Speaker 1: for some people's competitive sort of environment. Yeah, what you
Speaker 1: guys do. Some people may grow up and think, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to have a family and I want to
Speaker 1: be a great dad, and that's that's where they put
Speaker 1: their press so and that that's their ultimate goal. Men
Speaker 1: feel that because I find a lot of men determine
Speaker 1: so much based on their success in their career. I'll
Speaker 1: touch on this my and I've voiced that many times before.
Speaker 1: People that know me know me very well. My greatest
Speaker 1: destiny in life, the most important thing to me is
Speaker 1: to be a great man, a great husband, and a
Speaker 1: great father. That's that's my greatest if I could, that's
Speaker 1: my greatest destiny. That's what's most important to me. At
Speaker 1: the root of it, at the root of the purpose
Speaker 1: of my life. That's what I want to be. I
Speaker 1: want to be an impactful man, husband and father, friend,
Speaker 1: family member, all of that too. But I want to
Speaker 1: be a very good man and I always have a
Speaker 1: concept of a better man than I am about six
Speaker 1: months out for me that I'm working towards that I want.
Speaker 1: And you do this a lot. Do you personally grow
Speaker 1: and challenge yourself and you have a partner that challenges
Speaker 1: challenges you to grow as well. So that for me,
Speaker 1: even though I've been looked at a lot for my
Speaker 1: career as a professional athlete, UM, most important to me
Speaker 1: is family and Dmitri, I'm sure you can attest to
Speaker 1: this as well. Yeah, I've been married fifteen years and
Speaker 1: I have four kids, and all I ever wanted to
Speaker 1: be as a hockey player U now and and to
Speaker 1: me it's like, yeah, I didn't have that. For those
Speaker 1: of you that don't know, I'm not a professional athlete
Speaker 1: and I don't have any mirrorball trophies or Emmy's. But um,
Speaker 1: growing up, it was like, yeah, I wanted to do
Speaker 1: certain things. But in the back of my mind, maybe
Speaker 1: it was from I have a very close family, and
Speaker 1: and maybe it was from seeing my dad and and
Speaker 1: and having the closest with my siblings. I was like,
Speaker 1: that's that was my goal was like I want to
Speaker 1: have I want to have a family, and I want
Speaker 1: to have kid multiple kids that get together like I
Speaker 1: do with my brothers and sisters. And so that was
Speaker 1: kind of that was always one of the bright things,
Speaker 1: one of the things that I held up there as
Speaker 1: something for success. Absolutely. And you're talking in the break
Speaker 1: about a situation that might have happened when you were younger.
Speaker 1: So I was just kid. I was curious what that
Speaker 1: was about. Yeah, you're gonna get me to open up,
Speaker 1: damn you, Derek. It's a can opener. I'm my god,
Speaker 1: it's a can I'm like one thing of Hawaiian punch
Speaker 1: over here. Um. So you made me think of it
Speaker 1: is I had something happened recently that um it started
Speaker 1: when it was when I was eight years old. I
Speaker 1: had something happened. I'll get into it in a minute.
Speaker 1: But my entire life I've seen it one way and
Speaker 1: something happened recently that made that made me see the
Speaker 1: other something that I missed, something that I could have used.
Speaker 1: Um in brightness. So, like I said, I have a
Speaker 1: very close family. And when I was eight, I had
Speaker 1: a brother that passed away. Um, he was fifteen and
Speaker 1: he had been sick um from when he was born.
Speaker 1: But UM, so when I was eight and he was fifteen,
Speaker 1: he um, he passed away in that whole day. Um,
Speaker 1: I guess he was asking when I was coming home
Speaker 1: from school. I was in third grade. I came home
Speaker 1: from school and I was reading a book in the
Speaker 1: in the same room as him and Um. As I
Speaker 1: was it was James and the Giant Peach. And as
Speaker 1: I was reading this book at that moment, I happened
Speaker 1: to stop, and I looked up and I saw him
Speaker 1: pass away. And so in my mind, the part of
Speaker 1: the book that I was in, obviously there's a terrible experience,
Speaker 1: especially for an eight year old, doesn't matter what age.
Speaker 1: So that's always stuck with me. But in I always
Speaker 1: remembered in that book, I was at the point where, Um,
Speaker 1: the sharks were biting at the peach. So the sharks
Speaker 1: were taking big chunks out of the peach, and I thought, God,
Speaker 1: that's so such a negative thing, and that's the thing
Speaker 1: that's always been there with me. Um. And so I
Speaker 1: closed the book and I never read it again. And
Speaker 1: then when I was um in college, I came across
Speaker 1: the book and I picked up the book and I
Speaker 1: opened it up, just flipped it open, and I happened
Speaker 1: open up to that exact page and I saw the
Speaker 1: sharks biting the peach and I thought, all right, well,
Speaker 1: that's enough of that. Put the book away. And you know,
Speaker 1: so my in my mind, although that was obviously a
Speaker 1: negative experience, that's also been something that I've held in
Speaker 1: my life as something that has pushed me through things
Speaker 1: because nothing is going to like, nothing's gonna phase me, Like,
Speaker 1: no one's gonna make a comment about me about me
Speaker 1: not being funny or me not being whatever. That's gonna
Speaker 1: trump the things that I've gone through my life. So
Speaker 1: I can shrug off a lot of stuff in life. Um.
Speaker 1: But recently so my daughter, Um, after school, I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, clean out your backpacks and everything was at
Speaker 1: the end of the year. Um, and she didn't do it.
Speaker 1: And so in the summer I was like, hey, clean
Speaker 1: out your backpack and don't leave it there. Put everything away,
Speaker 1: and so she did. But then she left it there
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I was like,
Speaker 1: I said, don't leave it there. So I went, I
Speaker 1: picked up the there's a paper too, and then I
Speaker 1: found in that pile was James and the giant Peach.
Speaker 1: So I opened up the book again, and while I
Speaker 1: didn't open up to the page this time, I just
Speaker 1: opened up to a different page. I did flip two.
Speaker 1: I found the page with the picture that I always
Speaker 1: remember that and that was on the right side. And
Speaker 1: so this this is what long story short, this is
Speaker 1: what made me think of this. As you're saying this,
Speaker 1: take the bright stuff and not the negative stuff. So
Speaker 1: that picture is on the right side of the page.
Speaker 1: If you look at the left side, which is what
Speaker 1: I was reading, the words are actually and then suddenly,
Speaker 1: but slowly, majestically, like some fabulous golden balloon with all
Speaker 1: the seagulls stranding at the strings above, the giant peach
Speaker 1: rose up, dripping out of the water and began began
Speaker 1: climbing towards the heavens. So it says, in a flash,
Speaker 1: everybody was up on top. Oh isn't it beautiful? They cried,
Speaker 1: what a marvelous feeling. Goodbye sharks. So that was that's
Speaker 1: what I was reading while that was happening, and I
Speaker 1: missed it, and I never and instead I just shut
Speaker 1: down emotionally and I never went back to look because
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, it's that picture, that book is that picture,
Speaker 1: and so I know, but and it's not that it
Speaker 1: would have changed the overall picture. And I think I've
Speaker 1: done pretty good over the last you know, thirty six
Speaker 1: years or whatever. But it's like I went back and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's a lesson that I missed
Speaker 1: because I was so blinded by this. Oh this is
Speaker 1: the this is a negative thing that I take from this,
Speaker 1: and I just missed a completely positive thing that was
Speaker 1: actually literally speaking to me at that moment. Well man,
Speaker 1: first of all, thanks for sharing that. That was a
Speaker 1: beautiful and powerful story man, really really amazing. And you
Speaker 1: know it's going to cut it out, no, no, but
Speaker 1: you know what, that was such a good example to
Speaker 1: about how important meaning is the meaning that we give
Speaker 1: things in this life. You know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: think that's that's what we That's what we always have.
Speaker 1: The choice, that's our gift, right as the one gift
Speaker 1: were given is the power of choice. We always have this.
Speaker 1: We always have that power to choose what something can mean,
Speaker 1: what something can you know what I mean? And so
Speaker 1: for this is a perfect example of how it could
Speaker 1: easily mean. Starts are taking something and it's quite you know, violent,
Speaker 1: almost to it being Wow, it's actually funny that the
Speaker 1: sharks actually released released the peach from the seas into
Speaker 1: the heavens and actually was the catalyst for their freedom.
Speaker 1: Almost um, and like what a different meaning and how beautiful,
Speaker 1: How how I came around beautifully? And now I think
Speaker 1: that that's the thing too, is that we have the
Speaker 1: choice of how we can look at certain situations and
Speaker 1: what they might mean to us, you know. And you
Speaker 1: know Amy Purtty, you know, I danced with her, paralympian
Speaker 1: she lost her two legs agent at nineteen years old,
Speaker 1: and she's an incredible sort of inspiration because she when
Speaker 1: she at nineteen, by the way, you're a nineteen year
Speaker 1: old girl, and you you know, the nineteen old girl
Speaker 1: you lose your legs. Unbelievable. And she, while she's in
Speaker 1: the operating room looking up at the florescent light, says,
Speaker 1: I'm in a snowboarding year. I'm not gonna feel sorry
Speaker 1: for myself. I'm gonna do all these things. Like she
Speaker 1: made this choice, she decided. She goes, this isn't the
Speaker 1: end of me, this is the beginning of me. She's like,
Speaker 1: I don't. It's not that I don't have legs. I
Speaker 1: have prosthetic legs. She's changing that language, not that what
Speaker 1: I don't have, I have prosthetics. And also the meaning
Speaker 1: of like, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna turn this
Speaker 1: in is something where I'm gonna actually gonna do good
Speaker 1: for others. I'm gonna help, I'm gonna do open this
Speaker 1: sort of adaptive sport, you know, company. And it's the
Speaker 1: idea of like, letal life doesn't happen to you, it
Speaker 1: happens for you. And if you find those whatever you
Speaker 1: focus on right, it's like, what are you looking at?
Speaker 1: And um, what if it was the meaning you give
Speaker 1: something is what you're going to feel? Um? But man, yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for sharing that. Man, that was that was I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel the same way. I don't think it was
Speaker 1: a coincidence that Derek is here today. I think it
Speaker 1: was meant to be. You know, I think you have
Speaker 1: so many powerful things to share, and I love I mean,
Speaker 1: we've known each other such a long time, and I
Speaker 1: love you so much because there is so much more
Speaker 1: to Derek and Julianne than being the best answers in
Speaker 1: the world. That's not I don't even think of either
Speaker 1: of you as as that. There's so much to who
Speaker 1: you are, and I appreciate you both. I mean, I
Speaker 1: love you too, Brooks, but I'm not looking for Brooks.
Speaker 1: You were raising your hand about me. But I love
Speaker 1: how open you both are and how much you it is.
Speaker 1: It's it's about more to you, but not but not
Speaker 1: professionally you are like you're absolutely correct, but more fulfillment,
Speaker 1: more joy. I will say this about Julianne and Derek.
Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of time with both of you guys.
Speaker 1: Obviously they search daily and seek, like go on an
Speaker 1: assault daily for the greatest quality of life, not the
Speaker 1: greatest achievements, but the greatest quality of life. And they
Speaker 1: are not willing to tolerate things that don't add to
Speaker 1: the greatest quality, the greatest emotions of their life. And
Speaker 1: I've seen a massive change in you in the last
Speaker 1: year and a half on not looking for any sort
Speaker 1: of external anything and just looking internally and saying I'm
Speaker 1: going to have the best day ever because I'm going
Speaker 1: to make it the best regardless what happens outside of
Speaker 1: me or circumstances influences on me that doesn't control my choices,
Speaker 1: how I show up in this world and how who
Speaker 1: I am as a man, and our relationship has really
Speaker 1: grown really and it's funny you mentioned the shark thing
Speaker 1: Dmitri in in a week, Derek and I go to
Speaker 1: do some great white shark diving. Don't face didn't look
Speaker 1: exactly like yours, Brooks, I despect smile and Derek was like,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. No, I'm I'm actually super excited. That's what.
Speaker 1: Actually one thing with Brooks and I which has been
Speaker 1: awesome because we've you know, we have similar interests. We
Speaker 1: love adventure and we love you know, just that that
Speaker 1: sort of we love it, man, we love it, we
Speaker 1: love it, you know, just one little thing real us too,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to dive because this is a
Speaker 1: whole like our topic and subject, but especially with men
Speaker 1: in general, just you know how men think that shame
Speaker 1: is I would say, probably one of the most just
Speaker 1: poisonous and poisonous emotions that men experience and unfortunately experienced
Speaker 1: often and and which has led to a lot of
Speaker 1: unfortunate you know, suicides and things like that, and the
Speaker 1: especially continue to grow. But it's the idea again going
Speaker 1: back to the shame and not being enough and and
Speaker 1: doing certain things and equating sort of like you know,
Speaker 1: because the difference between being guilty feeling guilty is like, oh,
Speaker 1: I did something bad, you know, feeling shameful as I
Speaker 1: am something bad. And when you believe that you are bad,
Speaker 1: you it's a it's a terrible, terrible spiral. And you know,
Speaker 1: when we see, at least for me, when I see
Speaker 1: people struggling or myself, if I'm struggling with something and um,
Speaker 1: on a deep level, um, and maybe you can do
Speaker 1: something bad you know that I'm not proud of or
Speaker 1: whatever might be sort of just stream. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a phrase that I just love that really spoke um
Speaker 1: to me when I heard it, and it's we're not
Speaker 1: bad people trying to be good. We're wounded people trying
Speaker 1: to heal because because really those decisions that we've made,
Speaker 1: it in, those choices we made don't just happen. They've
Speaker 1: come from something that has possibly wounded us in the
Speaker 1: past or traumatize us in the past in some way
Speaker 1: that shaped us. And to make this sort of decision perhaps,
Speaker 1: you know, and to remind ourselves that like, I'm not bad,
Speaker 1: I might have done something bad, But I'm not bad.
Speaker 1: I'm still good. I'm still good, I'm still who I am,
Speaker 1: I'm still me um. And you can always recover from that,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, you can always overcome. And just
Speaker 1: for any guys who are out there you know listening,
Speaker 1: that if you do feel that shame, just remember that
Speaker 1: that you know that that you are not bad. You
Speaker 1: are not bad. Um. Anyways, I can touch on something
Speaker 1: very similar to that. I learned this through hockey. I'd
Speaker 1: come back to the bench and a coach would just
Speaker 1: be in my ear, just giving it to me in
Speaker 1: my ear. And what I had to learn because of
Speaker 1: a mistake I made or a play I made that
Speaker 1: he didn't like. And what I had to learn over
Speaker 1: the course of my career was it wasn't that the
Speaker 1: coach didn't love me. He just didn't love that act.
Speaker 1: So and it applies into relationship to like maybe my
Speaker 1: wife does something or something and it really frustrates me.
Speaker 1: It's not that I don't love her, it said, I
Speaker 1: just don't like that act or that behavior. So we're
Speaker 1: all human, We're all gonna make mistakes. There's things that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. Make a mistake here whoops. It's not
Speaker 1: that I'm like you said, I'm not a bad person,
Speaker 1: just maybe that behavior there was improper and to learn
Speaker 1: and to grow from that. So anybody feeling shame who
Speaker 1: they are or not enough. UM, I love this discussion.
Speaker 1: I love this topic of just opening this up a
Speaker 1: place for men to discuss this or women too, but
Speaker 1: also for men to to voice these concerns. You and
Speaker 1: I have talked a lot about this. And to have
Speaker 1: somebody in your life, whoever it is, if you're going
Speaker 1: through this, pull somebody in. Friends are here to help you,
Speaker 1: Families here to help you. If you're struggling with something
Speaker 1: or not feeling this, share this podcast with them, have
Speaker 1: a listen to it with them. Pull somebody in and
Speaker 1: and open up the discussion. And I think you'll see
Speaker 1: that that guy or girl that you're talking to has
Speaker 1: men of the same emotions and feelings that you do.
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you guys before we
Speaker 1: have to go. That kind of is like something that
Speaker 1: weighs on me a lot, especially in a relationship, but
Speaker 1: you could apply it to everything. Should we ask for
Speaker 1: what we need? However we ask for it? You guys
Speaker 1: kind of dove into that a little bit earlier, or
Speaker 1: should we find a way to not need so much
Speaker 1: from from someone else and find it in ourselves. And
Speaker 1: how do you make that decision? I think, I mean
Speaker 1: because that's the thing too, Because to be completely honest,
Speaker 1: I was sort of taught the sort of first phase
Speaker 1: in my sort of learning about relationships of lesson was
Speaker 1: always like, oh, just tell your significant other what you want,
Speaker 1: what you need, communicate, right, that's like healthy, tell them
Speaker 1: what you want, tell them what you need, communicate, communicate.
Speaker 1: That's healthy, it's good, it's good. I think that, yes,
Speaker 1: that it can be beneficial and of course and it's
Speaker 1: it is good to can kay absolutely, But I also
Speaker 1: think that you can actually pull it out of somebody
Speaker 1: without actually having to ask them. I think there was
Speaker 1: a way of doing that as well. I think that's
Speaker 1: also by you giving, by you, um loving even like
Speaker 1: loving yourself, and you being in a certain energy and
Speaker 1: in a certain space that it will draw that person
Speaker 1: you know to do those acts, to do those certain
Speaker 1: things in a certain way. And and by the way,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, then maybe it's not the right match.
Speaker 1: I think you're right, you know what I mean, Perhaps
Speaker 1: I think, um and that's the thing I think. But then,
Speaker 1: of course, if I'm completely honest as well, you know
Speaker 1: when you talk about like love languages and the whole thing,
Speaker 1: of course, I you know, I'm words of affirmation. I
Speaker 1: like to hear I love you, you know, I like
Speaker 1: to hear it. So good a combination. Yeah. Well, And
Speaker 1: by the way, my girlfriend she just needs to she's
Speaker 1: touched so by me, just like holding, touching her hand
Speaker 1: or her shoulder, tells her that I love her. I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: I need to hear the words, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's like Ryan. That's like Ryan said he wanted gifts
Speaker 1: and words about it. Gifts and words of it was
Speaker 1: like a juicer. And to say that in a hospital, Ben,
Speaker 1: We're just like, I think it's both. I think it's
Speaker 1: exactly what he said. I think I think if you're
Speaker 1: so fulfilled and happy in who you are, you're going
Speaker 1: to attract that energy out of a person. And exactly
Speaker 1: like you said, less and if they don't gravitate to
Speaker 1: you in your best state, they're probably not your person.
Speaker 1: Because also too, by the way, think about it, that's
Speaker 1: sort of a trade. It becomes a trade if you
Speaker 1: think about it. Right, it becomes a trade. Okay, if
Speaker 1: you give me this, then I'll give you this. Okay,
Speaker 1: I just need to feel this way, then I'll feel
Speaker 1: that way. So you're just constantly just well, you're just trading.
Speaker 1: You're just trading things. And by the way, without being
Speaker 1: sort of like harsh or brad, but like, what else
Speaker 1: is there that you trade somebody for? Love? Essentially? What
Speaker 1: is that? I don't love that? No, but you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, right, So the idea, the idea, by
Speaker 1: the way, for me, at least, that's what I did. Um,
Speaker 1: I do, by the way, continually to do. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying like I'm perfect by any means at all. Um, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a real wreck. No, but like trust listen, trust me, man.
Speaker 1: I mean there you know, Um, we can do another episode,
Speaker 1: we can go into some of stuff, but um, but
Speaker 1: at least, like I I just know I have I
Speaker 1: have far more success with just focusing on what I
Speaker 1: can give, what I can do. That's just there's I
Speaker 1: have more success in that place and that there's more
Speaker 1: that's come from that than me thinking like well if
Speaker 1: they just did this, then I can do That's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta so that leads perfectly. D you just tied
Speaker 1: me up perfectly. Um, I have a question that I've
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you, but I also want to ask
Speaker 1: you Dmitri and Amy um and trying to just keep
Speaker 1: We've been We've had here for like an hour and
Speaker 1: a half already, so I don't want to keep you
Speaker 1: much longer. But I'm curious on everything we touched on
Speaker 1: today about being enough on six time, Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 1: two Emmy's, I mean, all the success money on NBC,
Speaker 1: all this kind of stuff, what do you think is
Speaker 1: your greatest success? Not your biggest, not your most publicly celebrated,
Speaker 1: like the one that means the most to you, And
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be professional. I just mean in
Speaker 1: your life, what do you believe is your greatest success? Um?
Speaker 1: I mean honestly, you know, if I if I'm on
Speaker 1: just on a personal level, I think that you know,
Speaker 1: I made a distinct choice, um about you know a
Speaker 1: while ago to basically change my identity, you know, my my, my,
Speaker 1: my sort of of who who I to sort of
Speaker 1: start to be congruent with what I knew was right
Speaker 1: and living that instead of knowing what I was right
Speaker 1: for me and maybe saying the things but not really
Speaker 1: living by those things. UM. So for me, that was
Speaker 1: a moment where I felt really sort of like I
Speaker 1: gets hard to explain, like in myself, like like like grounded,
Speaker 1: like present centered, because I was like, I'm actually doing
Speaker 1: and living the things that I feel like are aligned
Speaker 1: with who I want to be and what I want
Speaker 1: to do instead of just saying it and then and
Speaker 1: not you know, UM, that was That's been a huge
Speaker 1: achievement for me personally privately. Um, but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I think that would be That was a big That's
Speaker 1: a bit a big one for me. So knowing you
Speaker 1: and having spent a lot of time with you, I
Speaker 1: I have seen that shift in you. I believe I
Speaker 1: know somewhat what you're talking about. I've seen that shift
Speaker 1: with you. And when we first met, I somewhat had to.
Speaker 1: I felt like I worried about you a little bit
Speaker 1: on certain things, and I haven't had any of that
Speaker 1: like I've I'm so proud and I was so fortunate
Speaker 1: that I got to witness a transition in you and
Speaker 1: the growth in you, and so proud of the man
Speaker 1: who you've become and who you are, not what you do,
Speaker 1: and I tell Jules same thing. I don't give a
Speaker 1: damn if you're on NBC, if you're on the shore,
Speaker 1: Like I don't care if you're a school teacher. I
Speaker 1: don't care what you do. I care who you are,
Speaker 1: and I love who you are. And that's why I
Speaker 1: believe our relationship has blossomed even more. Uh. And now
Speaker 1: if I'm doing anything anything, you're one of my first
Speaker 1: phone calls. Yeah, me too, Man, you too, brother, You're
Speaker 1: gonna be one of mine too. Now after this, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Man, this has been no honestly, this has
Speaker 1: been a pleasure. Man. I've I've really enjoyed this and
Speaker 1: I uh, I love it. Man, Thank you guys for
Speaker 1: having me. Dmitri. Yeah you can. You got five more minutes?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Dmitri had to say. And he's out the door.
Speaker 1: He's like, peace, we'll get you valid or what is
Speaker 1: you We'll we'll get validated. What's your parking? Dmitri's like,
Speaker 1: if I go over this hour, it's gonna be the
Speaker 1: next or eight dollars I got, I got I changed
Speaker 1: in my meter? Dmitri, what would you say is your
Speaker 1: greatest success? Um? Well, obviously we've talked about this before.
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of my family, so that but if
Speaker 1: I were to move past that, I think that UM,
Speaker 1: I think that I'm very aware of other people and
Speaker 1: I think I'm very aware of other people's feelings, and
Speaker 1: I think that makes me a pretty decent um friend.
Speaker 1: I think I'm I'm. I think I'm a pretty good
Speaker 1: person that I try and be there for people and
Speaker 1: I listen to them, and I think I kind of uh,
Speaker 1: I think I provide them, you know, what they need
Speaker 1: in a friendship, and I think it's not something that
Speaker 1: I do just for them. It obviously makes me feel good,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm aware of when people may be uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: or people maybe going through a hard time or need
Speaker 1: someone to talk to. And I think I I think
Speaker 1: I have the ability to um to address that and
Speaker 1: to and to be there for people. And I think
Speaker 1: that's I'm pretty proud of that awesome man you have.
Speaker 1: As as knowing you as a friend now, I'll completely
Speaker 1: attest to that you are everything you just said, that's awesome.
Speaker 1: I commend you. Remember I send you the email said
Speaker 1: I think Derek needs to talk. Should we bring him
Speaker 1: in a no one cares about my here she has
Speaker 1: talked so much, not at all. My greatest success is
Speaker 1: not achieved yet. I mean, I honestly mean it when
Speaker 1: I'm saying I will feel content. I don't want to
Speaker 1: use the word happy, because happy such a sort of
Speaker 1: I will feel content when I do not call you
Speaker 1: Brooks and say why did he not text me? Like truly,
Speaker 1: I know it sounds so dumb, but I hate the
Speaker 1: fulfillment and like the hit I get from that that
Speaker 1: I want to not need that from someone else that
Speaker 1: somebody else does not determine. Somebody else is not determined
Speaker 1: if I am happy or not. But by the way,
Speaker 1: and did you notice, by the way, just just watching
Speaker 1: you in the body, your body language, and in the
Speaker 1: whole thing of how obviously when you start to talk
Speaker 1: about it, you know again it's like it becomes very real.
Speaker 1: The focus is all right there, and it's like it
Speaker 1: becomes super real. We feel that you feel it. And
Speaker 1: even now you're closing your arms, your shoulders are shrugged,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, you're physically even feeling it too.
Speaker 1: I hate it. I hate it, right, I understand, but
Speaker 1: I think just just just just just just for fun,
Speaker 1: try to just try this. Please please show us back,
Speaker 1: be deep, open, honest, but I guess open, Come on
Speaker 1: open um yea. Love is love, baby, love us, love
Speaker 1: it and all is well. All is well, it really is.
Speaker 1: And I've I've honestly am thankful for you being so
Speaker 1: open and vulnerable and courageous right um to even spur
Speaker 1: this conversation um with your sort of whatever you're going
Speaker 1: through at the moment, you know what I mean? So, uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you get baby, I said you have. So you said
Speaker 1: you haven't reached your achieved your greatest success. So until then,
Speaker 1: can we just call this podcast your greatest success. We
Speaker 1: started on our numbers, share those with your friends, and
Speaker 1: we hit our numbers. So this is the greatest greatest success. Okay,
Speaker 1: can you Instagram about this? Yes, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: let you off the hook here, Amy. And what goes
Speaker 1: to what Derek talked about before, where the focus goes
Speaker 1: the energy flows. So I asked you your greatest success?
Speaker 1: You said something that that wasn't what what is something
Speaker 1: you are extremely proud of that is a great success?
Speaker 1: In with Derek in that I've had a million successes
Speaker 1: at work and a million you know all that stuff.
Speaker 1: I think it's figuring out who you really are and
Speaker 1: what you really want and feeling at peace. I don't
Speaker 1: need that high high because I don't like feeling bad.
Speaker 1: It's just feeling. But is that something you've you've done. No,
Speaker 1: I'm working on it my I want to touch on
Speaker 1: mine for a setcause I want people to hear this
Speaker 1: so I hope they can do it in their lives.
Speaker 1: My greatest success in my blight, in my life, I
Speaker 1: believe is following my instincts. So every single day of
Speaker 1: my life, I have gravitated and done what I want
Speaker 1: When I want, how I want. Doesn't mean I've always
Speaker 1: got the vaults I wanted, but I have followed whatever
Speaker 1: instinct I've had. I've followed and created the life that
Speaker 1: I want. So I never let fear or struggle or
Speaker 1: obstacle or uncertainty or anything overcome me. I always pursued
Speaker 1: the life that I want and continue to have the
Speaker 1: choice and choose every day what I want and for myself.
Speaker 1: I hope that's my life's mission I want. I always
Speaker 1: say my life's mission is to help inspire people to
Speaker 1: create the white life that they want. Know that you
Speaker 1: have the power to create the life that you want.
Speaker 1: That has been my greatest success. This has been freaking awesome.
Speaker 1: This has been awesome. Um what you got to meet trains.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're wrapping it up. And you remember
Speaker 1: I said I'm aware of what people think and what
Speaker 1: people want. It's I know that I'm gonna get ridiculed
Speaker 1: if I let this session end without at least bringing
Speaker 1: up apologize in advance. Was it weird for you to
Speaker 1: hear either the podcast or see the headlines that says
Speaker 1: that Brooks likes to suck Julianne's tough. I can't in
Speaker 1: the same room, right, what? Okay, So first of all,
Speaker 1: you will say this, I will say this. I would
Speaker 1: not have probably seen that. And like my friend like
Speaker 1: a forwarded to me. It's like, Yo, what is this?
Speaker 1: Try it play around a little listen, let me again again.
Speaker 1: Let me just go into this. It's it's kind of
Speaker 1: weird because it doesn't It didn't even phasee me. My
Speaker 1: response was like, hey man, you gotta give him credit
Speaker 1: from just being out there, like like it's like I
Speaker 1: wouldn't personally be like, but you gotta give him credit
Speaker 1: for that. Um. Yeah. So and also like I lived
Speaker 1: with him for three years, so I see there's a
Speaker 1: lot of pizza that goes on. Wait was that public?
Speaker 1: So private? I was aware. I would leave the room propertly,
Speaker 1: but I was also you know, it was fine. It's
Speaker 1: not like it goes on everything. By the way, where
Speaker 1: focus goes, energy flow, so my focus changes quickly, that's all.
Speaker 1: I'm like, there it is, and by well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much Dmitri for bringing that up. But I really appreciate.
Speaker 1: But by the way, you know, it's uh, it's funny,
Speaker 1: I have to say to even just with with Jewels. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, we're we're like super close, We're like best friends.
Speaker 1: We you know, we were we have this great relationship
Speaker 1: and it's funny for me like seeing certain things that
Speaker 1: might happen or say or whatever that she does, and
Speaker 1: I know her so well that it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: funny because I can see some people's reactions to certain
Speaker 1: things and I'm like, oh, okay, it's just because it's
Speaker 1: just articulated differently. And if you need translation, feel free
Speaker 1: to ask me. I'll tell you exactly what. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you exactly what she meant by I'll tell you I'll
Speaker 1: translate for you. Yeah, I know, let's talking about that. Um,
Speaker 1: well talk well, uh dude. I want to commend you,
Speaker 1: uh one. I just want to say thank you for
Speaker 1: coming in today. Thank you, um. But I also want
Speaker 1: to commend you just for so much of your life.
Speaker 1: People look at you for your successes, but I see
Speaker 1: you as somebody that has a gift. And I truly
Speaker 1: mean this, a gift to impact and inspire others. And
Speaker 1: I've seen that there's people in their life that can
Speaker 1: maybe do it with a few of their friends or
Speaker 1: their family, or maybe within their community. You have a
Speaker 1: global gift to inspect and impact and inspire others. And
Speaker 1: it's something I've learned immensely from and try and um
Speaker 1: apply to my life. You've inspired me in that way.
Speaker 1: You're such a person of service, um. And I just
Speaker 1: commend you for the challenging yourself, challenging me, your sister,
Speaker 1: who you are in the world, your friendships, how you
Speaker 1: show up. I love your creativity. You've pulled so many
Speaker 1: things out of me and impacted my life in ways
Speaker 1: I could never imagine. And I just want to say
Speaker 1: I'm thankful for it, for our relationship, and for having
Speaker 1: you as a brother and for everything you shared with
Speaker 1: our community today. Um for more for people that that
Speaker 1: are just learning you or are can't find you yet,
Speaker 1: or just how did people follow more because you do
Speaker 1: so much positive messaging on your social on your tour,
Speaker 1: like where can people find and connect and engage with you?
Speaker 1: Well recently? Thanks for that, brother, I appreciate that, man. Um.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm sure, I'm sorry. I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: people that thought they were going to tune in today
Speaker 1: and hear us talk about like the Passo double or
Speaker 1: the Rumba, So I think they are blown away, just
Speaker 1: jumping on what Brooks said, blown away by by the
Speaker 1: person that you are and how deep you are. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry to cut you off. Go no where can people
Speaker 1: find you? Oh? Um? Well now it's just my I
Speaker 1: was gonna say in my social media, but now it
Speaker 1: just consists of my new cat who's opening doors now
Speaker 1: honestly opens doors. It's insane, man, it's insane. I'm moving
Speaker 1: into fatherhood um with animals. Um. Yeah, just just add deircuff.
Speaker 1: It's just my social just Instagram, you know, and things
Speaker 1: like that. And I try, you know, I try to
Speaker 1: put some stuff out there, but also just to have fun.
Speaker 1: And just be lighthearted. You know. Check check out Derek's
Speaker 1: Instagram because he's got these real serious pictures with the
Speaker 1: cheesiest thoughts. They're the greatest. Love the first one you posted,
Speaker 1: I text you right away. You have to keep doing that.
Speaker 1: I got one. I got one locked and loaded, ready
Speaker 1: to go. I know the tennis one. So so check
Speaker 1: about at Derik Houff on all the socials at deircuff
Speaker 1: dot com right or deercuff dot com um and NBC
Speaker 1: World of Dance. He's also got a book out, very
Speaker 1: celebrated author. Love what you do man, love your mission
Speaker 1: in the world. Thank you for coming in. Uh, we
Speaker 1: want to hear what you guys think. What do you
Speaker 1: think of this episode? We would love to hear any
Speaker 1: comments and questions insights that you have. Thank you, Dmitri. Amy,
Speaker 1: Oh girl, it's done. You're through it. Gavin and Rick
Speaker 1: and Ryan, so I can step away from the mic.
Speaker 1: Sending love to Ryan. We hope you're well. Sending love
Speaker 1: to Gavin. Good luck on the tour, Buddy, we miss you,
Speaker 1: and also Rick who's up in Alaska stay away from
Speaker 1: the bears. Thank you everybody for listening. Uh, Dmitri, do
Speaker 1: you want to do it. Should I do it? I
Speaker 1: think you should do it. I should do it. Okay,
Speaker 1: take care of one another, love one another, and we'll
Speaker 1: see you right back here next week for another episode
Speaker 1: of How Men Think