Speaker 1: Well, let me say this about the no more host.
Speaker 1: I will say that you know you're seeing what's happening.
Speaker 1: We're seeing lifetime, what is happening with the NBA we
Speaker 1: have and the NFL E how they're struggling without homes.
Speaker 1: And so I don't know that we have sports without host.
Speaker 1: Sports and hosts go hand in hand. We're finding that out.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if we want to plan it
Speaker 1: without host. We can have our opinions of hosts as
Speaker 1: we please, but host might again be a crucial part
Speaker 1: of this ecosystem. Wrong. I think I think hose are essential.
Speaker 1: And I'd say this, and I want to be clear
Speaker 1: because some of our listeners are going to take this
Speaker 1: in the direction and say, you can't talk about women
Speaker 1: this way. Hoses everybody everybody's homes anybody, because everybody, everybody's
Speaker 1: everybody st Yeah, y'all, y'all homes they exist everywhere. Let's
Speaker 1: not try to to break this down to some gender
Speaker 1: or race thing. No all, y'all, are some homes. If
Speaker 1: we're trying to this side, how valuable you Holt are
Speaker 1: to our survivors in your quos are racist? The host money,
Speaker 1: she'stern stuff. I can't tell me. Oh, oh there it is. Hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: there is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another spectacular, amazing,
Speaker 1: incredible episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where
Speaker 1: we dive deep, We go deep, we splunk into the
Speaker 1: world of black conspiracy theories, and we agree, We collectively
Speaker 1: agree that you call her Janet if you are regular,
Speaker 1: miss Jackson if you're nasty, and Professor Jackson if you're
Speaker 1: really confused about how vacation works. Those are the names
Speaker 1: she prefers for all of her qualifications, her names. That's
Speaker 1: what Janet's going by now. Professor Jackson if you don't
Speaker 1: know how the school is. I'm your host, Langston Kerman.
Speaker 1: I'm here. I'm in my friend's house still because my
Speaker 1: WiFi doesn't work in my new home, and it is hot.
Speaker 1: Is fucking this house. I don't know why he keeps
Speaker 1: his home so hot, but I'm sweating already and the
Speaker 1: podcast hasn't even started. You know who's not sweating. You
Speaker 1: know who's keeping it coolest ship is my guest today.
Speaker 1: She's fantastic, she's hilarious. You know her from fucking Saturday
Speaker 1: Night Live. It's the coolest show. She's the coolest lady.
Speaker 1: She's hilarious. Give it up from my guests, Ms Eggo, Woda,
Speaker 1: thank you for having me, and that is yes. The
Speaker 1: crowd goes wild. Love it. I love it. What's going
Speaker 1: on with the temperature over there? I'm concerned about I
Speaker 1: am too. He's been my friends since we were in college,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what's going on with his body
Speaker 1: heat that so I think he explained it to me
Speaker 1: that his air conditioner previously did not work, and then
Speaker 1: for some reason he tried it like a year ago,
Speaker 1: it still wasn't working, and he had to try to
Speaker 1: get it fixed in between. Just to be clear, Oh no,
Speaker 1: he's he's begged endlessly for them to fix this air
Speaker 1: conditioner and they've refused. They said, no, you whore, you'll
Speaker 1: be hot, and then okay, you'll be a hot in
Speaker 1: your home. They love alliteration. The weather you speak to him, uh,
Speaker 1: And so he tried to get it fixed and then
Speaker 1: someday he I guess recently he turned it on and
Speaker 1: it did work. But I think his body has has
Speaker 1: calibrated now to the heat, if that makes sense. So
Speaker 1: now he would be too cold if the A C
Speaker 1: got turned on despite the heat waves, I believe, so
Speaker 1: I think he I think he's cold blooded. Now I
Speaker 1: think he's like one of those lizards on a rock
Speaker 1: if that kind of okay, that makes sense I feeling.
Speaker 1: Normally people say cold blood, it's like kill somebody just
Speaker 1: but yes, yes he is. I'm not sure he's not
Speaker 1: trying to kill me. This is I'm in a jungle
Speaker 1: heat that I am struggling to maintain. Maintain, say for
Speaker 1: your friend, though, because I feel bad complaining about I
Speaker 1: just went on a grand tour escaping New York, uh
Speaker 1: for a few months. Yes, and so people let me
Speaker 1: stay with them or stay at their spots, namely, and
Speaker 1: I had like notes everywhere I went, And I was like,
Speaker 1: you can't have notes when someone's letting you stay in there.
Speaker 1: You can't like thoughts. This isn't a luxurious getaway like
Speaker 1: people are doing. You don't get to show up with requests. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the couch is the couch. That's just what it's gonna
Speaker 1: be like. Or you figure out less cost effective way
Speaker 1: to you know, record with internet and in my case,
Speaker 1: all the other things agree. Wait, what was one of
Speaker 1: the requests that you made? What was one of the
Speaker 1: notes that you would leave behind for your Why are
Speaker 1: you gonna do this? Why are you gonna Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need hold on, let me think back because
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of whose feeling is I'll hurt
Speaker 1: the least, Okay, Okay, So this is exciting. So I
Speaker 1: feel like I need sunlight. I need natural light. I'm
Speaker 1: a play. A lot of people are lacking natural light
Speaker 1: for your girl, and I was. I was struggling because
Speaker 1: I was like, on one hand, this is a wonderful thing.
Speaker 1: Somebody's doing me a favor. But on the other hand,
Speaker 1: I'm dying inside because there's night this bitch, and you know,
Speaker 1: I could have gone and done my own thing and
Speaker 1: found my own spot. But it was like, no, like
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend that money. Can't you just
Speaker 1: install a better window in your home? Yes? Yes, obviously,
Speaker 1: let's get some. Should I be put out? Let's saying like,
Speaker 1: let's get some east facing, west facing even I'll take
Speaker 1: a south facing window, you know, but a lot of
Speaker 1: north facing windows and people's homes and it really messed
Speaker 1: with my mental So that would be my request, that
Speaker 1: my request, let's get some sunlight. Let's move this apartment
Speaker 1: to the to the east side of the building. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Hands up, that's all I requested. It's
Speaker 1: only temporary, a monk believe to come back, exactly right.
Speaker 1: But hearing you shift on your friend and his a
Speaker 1: C situation just made me feel like maybe I am
Speaker 1: going about it wrong. Maybe we can be out here
Speaker 1: given notes to people in their own homes. I think
Speaker 1: we should be giving notes, and I also respect that
Speaker 1: they're going to think that we're monsters afterwards. Okay, you
Speaker 1: know the two can exist, and that's sometimes I do
Speaker 1: a splitting thing in my brain that only one or
Speaker 1: the other can be true. But no exclusive here. I'd
Speaker 1: like to introduce you to the Venn diagram, where you
Speaker 1: can be you can be both preferential and an asshole
Speaker 1: at the exact same time. Okay, well that's me. That's
Speaker 1: me all the way. That's me. I got more notes,
Speaker 1: but we won't get into that because I don't know.
Speaker 1: My friends listen to this ship and we we can't
Speaker 1: afford to get into it because you sent over a
Speaker 1: conspiracy theory that I'm very excited to dig into. I
Speaker 1: personally had never heard this before. This is not one
Speaker 1: that I subscribed to, nor had even I hadn't even
Speaker 1: gotten a briefing on it before this. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: that you sent this. You said, and I'm quoting here,
Speaker 1: my mama told me, if you don't brush your teeth
Speaker 1: that night, aunts, we'll crawl around in your mouth. It's true,
Speaker 1: and I can't and I don't know her to be
Speaker 1: a liar, but I think about that all the time.
Speaker 1: I think, I still think about it, like I almost
Speaker 1: want to talk to her about it now that I'm
Speaker 1: an adult and be like, why were you telling me that?
Speaker 1: Like there was a period when I was younger it
Speaker 1: worked on me. I was legitimately, I don't want any
Speaker 1: ants crawling around in my mouth in my sleep, just
Speaker 1: like these niggas like crawling around while I trying to
Speaker 1: get rest, taking advantage of the real estate. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want that. I legitimately remember brushing my teeth
Speaker 1: many a night because of that. Just because of that,
Speaker 1: and then one day it occurred to me, I was like, man,
Speaker 1: because answer so little, You're not gonna feel But I
Speaker 1: was like, you would feel them, I and I feel
Speaker 1: like I said to my mom, and I confronted her
Speaker 1: as a child, and I was like, look, if they
Speaker 1: were really crawling around in my mouth, if ants were
Speaker 1: really crawling around in my mouth, I feel them, and
Speaker 1: how are they getting into my mouth? I don't know
Speaker 1: that I sleep with my mouth open. And she just
Speaker 1: kind of like let it ride, like she just she
Speaker 1: never I think for her it was a moment like
Speaker 1: finding out your kid, No, Santa Clause isn't real that
Speaker 1: She was like, well, it sounds like to some extent
Speaker 1: it was like a loss of power for her in
Speaker 1: that moment where it's like, damn, all right, this trick
Speaker 1: ain't gonna work no more. I just move on, right.
Speaker 1: She didn't even try to defend it, which I'm glad
Speaker 1: because that would have caused I'm sure a wedge in
Speaker 1: our relationship if I was looking back on this right now. No,
Speaker 1: but she fought me on it. She didn't, but it
Speaker 1: worked for a significant amount of time. I think that's
Speaker 1: the difference between like the things that our parents tell
Speaker 1: us that are all our parents lie to us. It's
Speaker 1: part of like it bringing a person up and trauma,
Speaker 1: right is like if you tell me answer crawling in
Speaker 1: my mouth and I believe you, fine, And then at
Speaker 1: the point that I say no, there are no ants
Speaker 1: in my mouth, and you go, okay, fine, we move on. Now,
Speaker 1: you're just being a decent parent. But if you beat
Speaker 1: me for it, now we've got trauma. Imagine my mother
Speaker 1: beating me when I found out there ants crawling around
Speaker 1: and by a mouth, and she beats me for that,
Speaker 1: and that would be that's actually, yes, that it would
Speaker 1: be actual trauma and other among other things, very problematic.
Speaker 1: You permanent. Now the ants are always there. They aren't
Speaker 1: even crawling in the mouth, there in the heart. Ants
Speaker 1: in my heart and not got my passwhip by my mother.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you. I just remember being like so
Speaker 1: scared of that, and like I don't know with ants
Speaker 1: like right now, I'm like definitely, uh it's it's actually
Speaker 1: obnoxiously and I don't find it amusing or like a
Speaker 1: cute personality quirk. Like I'm really scared of roaches and
Speaker 1: I wish I wasn't because I fancy myself a hard
Speaker 1: body human being. Sure, these streets all right, but like
Speaker 1: the roaches, roaches and mice, I can and rats, rats, mice,
Speaker 1: they're the one and same. I cannot do so hearing
Speaker 1: ants were calling around my mouth I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: I remember not being scared of ants, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: you just don't want those in your mouth, like a
Speaker 1: bunch of them, a gang ants in your mouth. Ants
Speaker 1: can't be that far from roaches, right on. It's not
Speaker 1: that they're the same, but it's if you got ants,
Speaker 1: you're not better than roaches, right, you're not above the
Speaker 1: possibility of roaches. Right You're probably kicking it with roaches,
Speaker 1: and so that's a different thing. If you're an aunt,
Speaker 1: you are probably at some point I had kicked it
Speaker 1: with a roach, like it's a symbiotic. Yeah. Yeah, y'all
Speaker 1: are kind of after the same ship. And so I
Speaker 1: feel like if there was one night where I specifically
Speaker 1: went to sleep, like, oh no about this ship, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be asleep and commit to my sleep, but I'm
Speaker 1: also gonna, like, in one sense, keep one eye open,
Speaker 1: like and I didn't actually the eye open, but it
Speaker 1: was just this, like I decided, like tonight's the night
Speaker 1: that I want to put in my mind that if
Speaker 1: I feel ants crawling around in my mouth, like I
Speaker 1: might be ants crawling around in my mouth, God, wake
Speaker 1: me up, Like wake me up. I want to I
Speaker 1: want to wake Oh, I love that you're the prayer
Speaker 1: that you said before you went to bed. It was
Speaker 1: just Lord, uh, please bless me with the power the
Speaker 1: strength to wake up in the of the ants crawling
Speaker 1: in my mouth. Lord. Yes. And then I was like, look,
Speaker 1: that was a smooth sleep. And they remember like waking
Speaker 1: up and me like, I slept just fine. There were
Speaker 1: no ants because in my mind I also remember just
Speaker 1: being like, Okay, I feel them. But also they got
Speaker 1: to come inspect to see if I brushed my teeth.
Speaker 1: They're not they're not gonna know. I know. She wasn't
Speaker 1: selling me on that, Like ants have this superpower to know.
Speaker 1: I was like, they're gonna come and inspect to see
Speaker 1: if I brushed my teeth, and and like like at
Speaker 1: least one of them is gonna come check up and
Speaker 1: see what the situation is. And then, well, this is fascinating.
Speaker 1: Now you're introducing a part of this that I had
Speaker 1: never even considered. These ants are not crawling around for
Speaker 1: their pleasure. Now suggesting that these ants are going in
Speaker 1: as an inspectors of your teeth. Yes, because they're trying
Speaker 1: to find out if they can find something. They're not
Speaker 1: gonna tell the whole the whole crew to come unless
Speaker 1: there's something to be found, right, so they're not just
Speaker 1: like they're not like on the bed, And that was
Speaker 1: the other thing. I'm like, i'd see you know, Like
Speaker 1: I mean, now I know about bedbugs. We don't have
Speaker 1: to get because that's the whole other thing that stresses
Speaker 1: me out. But I'm like, aunts, you'd like see them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't see ants in our house on
Speaker 1: a normal basis. I haven't seen ants in the house.
Speaker 1: So you're telling me aunts are going to crawl in
Speaker 1: my mouth. I'm like, they're gonna send one or two
Speaker 1: to check up on if I brushed my teeth, And
Speaker 1: are we telling the whole crew like it's a party
Speaker 1: over here. She's still got hot dogs in her in
Speaker 1: between her teeth, like you know, just come let us feast.
Speaker 1: And so when I realized, I was like, I would
Speaker 1: feel at least even if I did brush my teeth,
Speaker 1: i'd see an ant crawling away from the bed in
Speaker 1: the morning or getting ready at night. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't see them here. And so yeah, I thought they
Speaker 1: would come inspect and let everybody else know it was
Speaker 1: popping off in my mouth that's so funny because well,
Speaker 1: on a number of levels, because the suggestion here is
Speaker 1: that the ants are seeking the crumbs in your mouth
Speaker 1: more than like the in your garbage, than the crumbs
Speaker 1: that have probably fallen in your kitchen floor, even somehow
Speaker 1: maneuvering into your refrigerator and eating the fucking food, Like no,
Speaker 1: we need that sweet too already, you know, just already
Speaker 1: e at that two thoughtop because it's already like and
Speaker 1: it's chewed up for them, ready to be ingested, little
Speaker 1: little bites. I'm just like, this is what they want.
Speaker 1: I've done the work for them in a sense. It's
Speaker 1: in my mouth that's ready to go. I'm asleep none
Speaker 1: the wiser while they feast. And sort of like maybe
Speaker 1: ants are like little sneaky bastards, but I don't ants
Speaker 1: are that sneaky though. Ants don't be that sneaky, Like
Speaker 1: they're pretty straight up. They're straight up there like we
Speaker 1: are in here, like we're in here, and like they'll
Speaker 1: so many ants gathered to look like one big bug.
Speaker 1: Whereas like roaches you come home, Yeah, they sneak and
Speaker 1: they fall. That's how they get you. Because the roaches,
Speaker 1: they there's some mels. They some motherfucker's wait till the
Speaker 1: lights are off and they yeah, they don't bunch of independently. No,
Speaker 1: But I will say, speaking on roaches, if we want
Speaker 1: to touch over, I talk a lot about roaches. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm so sorry so I think too much
Speaker 1: about them. I want to speak on a specific roach.
Speaker 1: L A roaches are a little more thuggish, ruggish. They
Speaker 1: don't scatter. They don't scatter. Wait, you think l A
Speaker 1: roaches are worse than New York roaches because you're in
Speaker 1: New York. I'm in New York. But let me tell
Speaker 1: you most of your year, I am in year for
Speaker 1: most of the year. But so I should give you
Speaker 1: some backstory here, Lankston, if we have time for your story,
Speaker 1: so everything. So I feel like I maybe have told
Speaker 1: the story. But before I left Los Angeles, I lived
Speaker 1: on the west side of l A. And that's a
Speaker 1: little she she or whatever. My last five months in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, I moved into my own little apartment in
Speaker 1: Los Spelis adjacent. I'd say, like, right on the board,
Speaker 1: they're important because I was like dirty East Hollywood. But
Speaker 1: it was right on the board, okay, right now, I
Speaker 1: was like, I want to be a hipster. I think
Speaker 1: I am a hipster. I wear birken stocks. Uh So
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm a little bit I fancy, but
Speaker 1: I'm kind of a hipster. So I haven't I can
Speaker 1: handle this town? Yeah, right, move in my apartment. I
Speaker 1: signed this lease. Um so, first time I'm living alone.
Speaker 1: I signed this lease. And the day I signed, I
Speaker 1: go downstairs to like leave the building. My unit that
Speaker 1: I've signed for is right above the laundry room, and
Speaker 1: the baund room is sort of like outdoors. There's it's
Speaker 1: not outdoors, it's under the building. But the door leading
Speaker 1: to the street is like not touching the ground. We're
Speaker 1: right on the street. It's like access to the street
Speaker 1: is right there. That being said, I looked down in
Speaker 1: the laundry room. I see like ten big roaches on
Speaker 1: their backs. They were laid out in the laundry room,
Speaker 1: which is under the unit I have just signed up
Speaker 1: to it. I have a little bit of a panic,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what have I done? I don't
Speaker 1: know what have I done. I'm having and my d
Speaker 1: was like doing extensive research on places. My friend lived
Speaker 1: in this building in the Lake twenty units, but he
Speaker 1: lived on the other side of the building and up
Speaker 1: on the upper level. So he lived there for five years.
Speaker 1: So he has this experience and he's like, I had
Speaker 1: no problems, not a single problem ever, not once now.
Speaker 1: But he's not in the roach on the road of
Speaker 1: the building. The roach sector, oh a lot. So so
Speaker 1: so these roaches were on their back where they liked
Speaker 1: tanning or were they dead? Were these dead roaches that
Speaker 1: you were? I think some some more dead guys, and
Speaker 1: some of them were dead guys, and some of them
Speaker 1: were tanning. I do think because you could see them.
Speaker 1: There's still some movement, right, so there's still life in there.
Speaker 1: They were tanning, But I'm like, you're not even in
Speaker 1: the sun, you know. So that being said, the apartment
Speaker 1: had roaches, and uh, that caused me quite a bit
Speaker 1: of anxiety, and as a person who is deathly scared
Speaker 1: of them, and so I moved out of the apartment
Speaker 1: very abruptly. I say this to say that when I
Speaker 1: moved to New York, my number one Crichier was like,
Speaker 1: I know this is New York. I know New York
Speaker 1: is far dirtier. Uh. My number one thing was this,
Speaker 1: wherever I live, I cannot have vermin at all, Like
Speaker 1: it just I can't happen. And I talked to people
Speaker 1: at work, and some of them wealthy, presumably living in
Speaker 1: very nice places, and they'd be like, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to help it here. You're going to have roaches.
Speaker 1: It's gonna happen. But check this is like it's standard
Speaker 1: in New York City. As a former person in New
Speaker 1: York there was no apartment I was in that didn't
Speaker 1: at least have some roaches. Now, I was blessed to
Speaker 1: have times where there were way fewer roaches than other times.
Speaker 1: But we baby, they were all up in like I
Speaker 1: hate to hear it. No, I was like, and I
Speaker 1: was on something like, no, my faith will prevail you
Speaker 1: by there are roaches, but my God says I will
Speaker 1: have none. Okay, I was on. So I was like, no,
Speaker 1: you could say that. I know you probably live in
Speaker 1: a nice glass place. One of the people that I
Speaker 1: work with, she and her husband had just bought an
Speaker 1: apartment in the city and she's like, girl, we have
Speaker 1: rats in this, bitch like, and she was like, don't
Speaker 1: live on this. She's like seventh floor or up or
Speaker 1: eighth floor above. She's like so I live on the
Speaker 1: ninth floor of my building. But here's the thing, lean
Speaker 1: that's like low key all I cared about willing to
Speaker 1: forego the sun, you know, I said, I with son,
Speaker 1: willing to forego that. I just knew I couldn't handle
Speaker 1: the roaches literally down to take a box with no windows,
Speaker 1: just a shell of concrete. Get yes, absolutely, because I
Speaker 1: knew that New Yorkers too. I was like, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna call my super in New York and
Speaker 1: be like, hey, so there's a couple of roaches and
Speaker 1: the unit because I knew I was gonna get like okay.
Speaker 1: And I was in a hotel before I started my
Speaker 1: job before was it before I started? No, I just
Speaker 1: started my job. I was in a hotel for like
Speaker 1: thirty days. On day twenty five, there is a roach
Speaker 1: in my hotel room and I call the front desk
Speaker 1: and I'm like, first of all, I'm like, did I
Speaker 1: bring these bitches with me from l A Because I
Speaker 1: haven't ever been in a hotel room. This motherfucker's trying
Speaker 1: to give me. I recognized you, Joseph, Joseph, get your
Speaker 1: grass out of here. I know you. I really was.
Speaker 1: I was like, this was like a cousin because it
Speaker 1: was a different style, it was a different it was
Speaker 1: different shade and shape. But I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the roach. And so I called down the front desk
Speaker 1: and again, this is New York City, and here's my thing. Though,
Speaker 1: to be fair, I've never been in a hotel room
Speaker 1: where I found a roach in my hotel room. I
Speaker 1: have not had that experience. I've also never been in
Speaker 1: a hotel before that time for thirty days, and mind you,
Speaker 1: I'm finding this on day like, and so I called
Speaker 1: down the front desk. I was like, hey, there's a
Speaker 1: I knew I had to lie. I said there's a
Speaker 1: bunch of roaches in my room, because if I said
Speaker 1: it was run roach, I knew that I was gonna
Speaker 1: get like, I'm being overtaken by roach piling up everywhere,
Speaker 1: and we need to get there's a couple of roaches
Speaker 1: in here. I don't know what's going on. So they
Speaker 1: come up. Who comes up first? The housekeeper comes up first,
Speaker 1: and she's like I loved that that. They were like, look,
Speaker 1: just saying Martha will start the real issue. Will actually
Speaker 1: get the professional send the lady that we don't pay
Speaker 1: very much to get deal. What's fucking roaches? I'm like,
Speaker 1: they say, what she's signed up for? So she comes
Speaker 1: and she's like where is it? And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's behind the arm war. I was like, it crawled
Speaker 1: behind the arm and I said, I couldn't move it.
Speaker 1: I was like, I couldn't move it to try to
Speaker 1: grab it because I don't want to look like a
Speaker 1: little bit and I know I love looking like I
Speaker 1: don't want to look like a little bit on and
Speaker 1: I mean that in both senses of the words. So
Speaker 1: I was like, So I was like, yeah, I can't
Speaker 1: move it. So she's like I can't either, So she
Speaker 1: calls like the maintenance guy. This becomes a whole ordeal
Speaker 1: for this one, like medium sized rop and I was like,
Speaker 1: he comes. I remember him coming and being like, what's
Speaker 1: the problem. She's like, there's a roach. And first of all,
Speaker 1: this woman trying to tell me they've never had this,
Speaker 1: never had a roach in any of the rooms before.
Speaker 1: And I was like, why are you gonna do me
Speaker 1: like that? And she are we doing? Are you? It's
Speaker 1: just me and you? It's just me? Why are you
Speaker 1: doing this? And mind you, they're above a restaurant like
Speaker 1: it's not even their restaurant. The hotel itself is above
Speaker 1: a restaurant. I'm like, you never had a roach, and
Speaker 1: she's like, never had this? And I look at her,
Speaker 1: but not even like mad, because I can't process it
Speaker 1: because what I am still dealing with is like did
Speaker 1: I bring this? There are these roaches in my luggage
Speaker 1: and so so she sees my face, but it's not
Speaker 1: like again, I'm not angry with her, and she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, Like I'm kidding, She's like, but she wasn't
Speaker 1: she It was a very weird moment because it wasn't
Speaker 1: like that I'm telling a joke. She wasn't kidding. I
Speaker 1: think she was worried about my response and that I
Speaker 1: was about to get mad or something. You know what
Speaker 1: that is that' said Nelly. Uh unless you're gonna do it? Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: take them close. You know I'm trying to see you
Speaker 1: make it unless you ain't cool with that, and then
Speaker 1: I'll chill. But it's your gas lighting me. You're playing
Speaker 1: a game where you pretend like you're worried about my feelings. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was that. It was exactly that because she wasn't joking,
Speaker 1: so then maintenance guy comes. He comes and he's like,
Speaker 1: what's up. She's like, there's a roach and he was
Speaker 1: like so killing and he tried to walk away. He
Speaker 1: was like every day he's like whatever, New York, you know,
Speaker 1: New York X, saying that what we what are we
Speaker 1: doing here? I was like, it's behind the thing, and
Speaker 1: she was like, yeah, neither of us can move it.
Speaker 1: So now she's in on it. I don't even ask
Speaker 1: her to be in on this. She's like, we can't
Speaker 1: move it. So he kills it with a towel. He
Speaker 1: moves the thing. He's kind of piste off. He kills
Speaker 1: it with the towel. He's like, there has it. Takes
Speaker 1: the dead roach in the towel with him and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is happening? But I said all this, I'm looking
Speaker 1: for apartments in New York. I was like, I refuse,
Speaker 1: I can't have it. But I have to tell you,
Speaker 1: by the way, just real quick, what I did. I
Speaker 1: was really proud of myself because I had to stay
Speaker 1: in this hotel for five more days. I I see
Speaker 1: that bitch out. I was like, they don't like because
Speaker 1: I like the temperature to be that kind of warm.
Speaker 1: I'm not like, so I I see that shipped out.
Speaker 1: I was like, I had it like the lowest the
Speaker 1: a c after that day, the lowest temperature possible. It
Speaker 1: felt like iglu in that bitch, and I was like,
Speaker 1: never again. I was like, this will work. And every
Speaker 1: time a housekeeping would come in to clean, like when
Speaker 1: I was away at work, they would like turn the
Speaker 1: temperature to like a normal temperature, like seventy two, and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, you're sucking up the plant. If
Speaker 1: I make it so cold in here that I might die,
Speaker 1: the roaches too will die. So if it feels like
Speaker 1: I'm keeping pork shops hanging from the ceiling and here
Speaker 1: I can't live here, they will want to be in here.
Speaker 1: And so I was really proud of myself for that.
Speaker 1: But when I went looking for an apartment, I had
Speaker 1: this whole like ninth Flora, But it can't be an
Speaker 1: old building because if it's an old building, that bitches
Speaker 1: live in the walls Already they've they've they've settled down.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna tell you right now, in my two
Speaker 1: years in New York, I don't have I stayed in
Speaker 1: the same apartment and I refused to move, even though
Speaker 1: my neighborhood sucks because I don't want roaches. I haven't
Speaker 1: had any roaches. But here's no roaches in two years
Speaker 1: in New York City. But let me explain in New
Speaker 1: York City. In Manhattan, they spray every single week in
Speaker 1: my building like a preventative treatment, every single week in
Speaker 1: the pandemic. I did call the front desk to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: are you guys still spraying? I love I love the
Speaker 1: idea that you found the one building that doesn't have roaches,
Speaker 1: but it also gives you cancer because they're spying every week,
Speaker 1: just straight into your mouth. Yes, And I was willing.
Speaker 1: My friends were like that can't be healthy for you guys,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't care. Every Wednesday they
Speaker 1: ship glows so, you know, radioactive. I'm like, what was
Speaker 1: that Alex Mack. I'm like, Alex mack nicola. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: she turned into like water right, like she'd be a puddle. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you a story about Alex Mack. I
Speaker 1: got in trouble as a child because my cousin, who
Speaker 1: was like a year apart from me, were like sisters,
Speaker 1: grew up like sisters. She used to throw up all
Speaker 1: the time when we were younger, just like everything would
Speaker 1: make her throw up, everything would make her throw up.
Speaker 1: I don't know, like honestly, like she threw up, she
Speaker 1: threw up. We were watching Alex Mack. When Alex turns
Speaker 1: into the puddle, but the puddle looks like a puddle
Speaker 1: of ship, she throws up. I got in trouble, like
Speaker 1: what did you do? I love? I love that her
Speaker 1: superpower is throwing up and her one like Alex Mack
Speaker 1: is her weakness. Yeah, I would. I got in trouble
Speaker 1: like what did you do? What were you guys doing?
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know how to explain to
Speaker 1: these Nigerian adults that we were watching Alex Mack. I
Speaker 1: was watching a white girl with a brimless hat turned
Speaker 1: into a puddle and she started throwing up. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't do anything. So many times
Speaker 1: I got in trouble as a child for just like
Speaker 1: the disconnect of a Nigerian board parent and me being
Speaker 1: an American board an American board child was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know how to explain this teath. I can't explain
Speaker 1: this to you, and you can't explain ants in my mouth.
Speaker 1: So let's just so get the antswer in my mouth.
Speaker 1: I remember telling confronted my mom about that, though, like
Speaker 1: I remember, like that's a lie. There were no ants
Speaker 1: in my mouth last night. I would feel them if
Speaker 1: they were running around my mouth. She left it alone,
Speaker 1: and then I think I can't remember if I kept
Speaker 1: brushing my teeth that night or if it was like
Speaker 1: a rebellious like I'm not brushing my teeth that night
Speaker 1: anymore after this, because y'all and like, I'm not, but
Speaker 1: I do now, to be clear, I do now, in fact,
Speaker 1: I brush You heard it her first, folks, Ego went
Speaker 1: years without brushing her teeth, and we've learned more about that.
Speaker 1: After our next break. We'll be back with more egg more,
Speaker 1: my mama told me. And we are back. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: back here with more of my mama told me more
Speaker 1: Eggo WoT them. We're still talking about those ants in
Speaker 1: your teeth if you don't brush them, uh, crawling through
Speaker 1: your mouth when you're sleeping. Uh. And so you were saying,
Speaker 1: and this is very exciting for me that at a
Speaker 1: certain point you were rebelling against the possibility of this
Speaker 1: by not brushing your teeth that you became likes. Okay,
Speaker 1: to be clear, anti Knight Brusher, anti Knight Brusher, we're
Speaker 1: not spreading lives like, we're not saying lies. I know
Speaker 1: this was that you weren't going to school with a
Speaker 1: hot tongue. You were just saying in my dreams, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to your hot, white, cakey tongue. Know I
Speaker 1: was not. I was not. I just had to decide.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't have to do this.
Speaker 1: I don't have to be living in fear that if
Speaker 1: I don't do this, there will be ants, there will
Speaker 1: be bugs making home in my mouth. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: went some period of time where I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't have to do this. Plus these little ships are
Speaker 1: going to fall out. I was brushing like teeth that
Speaker 1: weren't gonna be ever on top of it, I don't.
Speaker 1: These weren't your permanent So you're like, yeah, I had
Speaker 1: to risk it. Who cares? These was carrot? For all
Speaker 1: I care? Out of here in a matter of time,
Speaker 1: burning hell, you shitty teeth. I'm gonna get new ones,
Speaker 1: and your motherfucker's won't mean ship ship. I don't even
Speaker 1: remember you, and I are you exactly, but you're not
Speaker 1: even really part of me, by the way, Like my
Speaker 1: mom never told me again Nigerian mom, don't think we
Speaker 1: did the tooth fairy thing. I don't. Yeah. So I
Speaker 1: was also the kid at school who knew Santa wasn't real,
Speaker 1: the tooth fairy don't exist. But so she never lied
Speaker 1: to me about like the fun pleasant stuff in life.
Speaker 1: It was that antswer we're going to crawl it by
Speaker 1: about So I knew Santa wasn't real, and I knew
Speaker 1: the tooth fairy didn't exist, but I didn't spoil that
Speaker 1: for any of my friends. I don't know how where
Speaker 1: with all, but she was like, the stuff you will
Speaker 1: tell me is that there will be bugs in my
Speaker 1: mouth should I not brush my teeth that night. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of sucked up now that it is. But
Speaker 1: it's great that you didn't become that person who goes
Speaker 1: to school like some sort of like weird type of
Speaker 1: woke where you're like, Santa Claus ain't real. You know
Speaker 1: what is real? Ants send your teeth, they go in
Speaker 1: there at night. If you don't brush, all right, let's
Speaker 1: go play jump rope. It's like this is I don't
Speaker 1: know how I knew to do that and not be
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've never
Speaker 1: been a bit like I've been a bit you know
Speaker 1: besides that moment, that and the room I've been cooling
Speaker 1: my whole life is you know what that deserves. That
Speaker 1: deserves a little celebration, bacon anyway, that's tight. Ego has
Speaker 1: never been a bit. Y'all celebrate, celebrate the good things
Speaker 1: in the world. Up, I can't fathom. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't like being controlled. So I don't know that sounds
Speaker 1: like so rudimentary, Like who does I have such an
Speaker 1: aversion to being told what to do and being manipulated.
Speaker 1: It's like beyond I think what's normal. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not out here brushing my teeth at night. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna let the man dictate how I brush and
Speaker 1: when I brush just because of ants potentially over crawling
Speaker 1: over my mouth mouth. I'm straight, And so I did.
Speaker 1: I do just want to be clear here because leg
Speaker 1: since out here trying to spread lies. He falls, we
Speaker 1: went on commercial break. He left it on a lie,
Speaker 1: and we left on a lie. This is a podcast
Speaker 1: about conspiracy theory. There's there's no lies. We just all
Speaker 1: have alternative true that I put in the world. I
Speaker 1: can't fathom. We're not going to be saying I didn't
Speaker 1: brush my teeth for years, but I will say that
Speaker 1: I did start brushing my teeth at night again when
Speaker 1: I got braces when I was six to fourteen. When
Speaker 1: I was fourteen, and I'll tell you why. No one
Speaker 1: had to tell me. No one had to tell me
Speaker 1: any fucking lies about it. What had happened was I
Speaker 1: saw several friends who got bracest before I did, get
Speaker 1: their joints taken off, and they all had white squares
Speaker 1: in the middle of their teeth. They weren't taking care.
Speaker 1: They weren't taking care. And so when I got braces,
Speaker 1: I began to care way more about my dental hygiene
Speaker 1: than I ever had, because I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: look like so and so out here. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to yeare of it. So then I was like, we
Speaker 1: funk with brushing our teeth at night, having ship multiple
Speaker 1: times a day, Why not lost lost every day? I've
Speaker 1: lost multiple times a day. So I just want to
Speaker 1: defend my name and my character and what I stand
Speaker 1: for as far as hygiene goes, because the lengthy was
Speaker 1: out here trying to spread alternative truth. Listen, CNN tries
Speaker 1: to refute Fox News every night. It don't work out here. Wow,
Speaker 1: Let's dig into some of this research that I did.
Speaker 1: I wanted to look up exactly where this comes from
Speaker 1: and who claims to have experienced it, And fascinatingly enough,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of people on the internet asking
Speaker 1: the exact same question that a childhood ego was asking
Speaker 1: about ants crawling in mouths. Specifically, this is where it
Speaker 1: gets especially fascinating. They're less concerned with the possibility of
Speaker 1: them just hanging out in the mouth, but there's a
Speaker 1: ton of questions about ants crawling in their mouths to
Speaker 1: get to their brain. That's like an ongoing theme in
Speaker 1: all of these questions, So I'm gonna read off some
Speaker 1: of them to you. The first question that pops up
Speaker 1: on a website called Cora, which I think is just
Speaker 1: a space where people can ask questions. I tated a
Speaker 1: guy who was big on Cora and yet questions a
Speaker 1: real nerd. Yeah, that's yes, that's exactly what it is.
Speaker 1: Sorry that work out? How was that was that he
Speaker 1: actually turned out to be full crazy and told me
Speaker 1: had cancer when he didn't. But we can come back
Speaker 1: and another child. Okay, So not a great resource for
Speaker 1: for healthy thinkers. And I think this question is probably
Speaker 1: a good example that the person asked, if I sleep
Speaker 1: with a candy in my mouth, will ants get inside
Speaker 1: the brain and feed on it? Seriously? Is it possible?
Speaker 1: Should I be careful? I'm presuming this is a child
Speaker 1: because turning out on Cora children is a lot of
Speaker 1: grown people. Like anybody who's listening go to court, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of grown people. Oftentimes they're asking questions that
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have a single friend in your
Speaker 1: life to ask You couldn't just google this yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What I find wild about that question is that why
Speaker 1: do you want to sleep with? Like? Why do you
Speaker 1: want listen, you're talking to person with the sweet tooth
Speaker 1: right now, try to sleep with candy in my mouth?
Speaker 1: Why does this person want to sleep with candy in mouth?
Speaker 1: Why are they so curious if they can bait ants
Speaker 1: into getting into their brain. Most of us are trying
Speaker 1: to protect our skulls. Well, that that is his concern.
Speaker 1: Is he is saying like, I don't want ants in
Speaker 1: my skull. I don't want ants in my brain, but
Speaker 1: I do want that candy in my mouth when I sleep,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to balance the two, which
Speaker 1: is insane. I don't know why you want candy in
Speaker 1: his mouth. And a lot of the people who responded
Speaker 1: to him had the exact same concerns you did. They
Speaker 1: were like, hey, man, please stop doing that. You could choke.
Speaker 1: It's not healthy. And he was like, nah, funk that
Speaker 1: the candy stays. What about these as? This is see
Speaker 1: this is the Also this is a person who perhaps
Speaker 1: my mom got it here. I mean, cor didn't exist
Speaker 1: back then in the early nineties, But this is the
Speaker 1: person who does not give a funk about his dental hygiene.
Speaker 1: If we're just going to tie in the dental hygiene
Speaker 1: aspect of because if you did, you certain you would
Speaker 1: not be sleeping with candy in your mouth. So it's
Speaker 1: something there is some sort of common thread here about
Speaker 1: like aunts will funk with you if you had bad
Speaker 1: dental hygiene, That's what I'm gather. Like that actually brings
Speaker 1: me to a really fascinating route of where a lot
Speaker 1: of this comes from, because I, like you just assumed
Speaker 1: that this was parents offering up stuff to scare kids, right,
Speaker 1: like my mom. This is a great example my mom
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, whenever I did something wrong,
Speaker 1: she would have one of her friends pretend to be
Speaker 1: one of the Ninja Turtles on the phone. So like,
Speaker 1: if I was like acting up in the house, she'd
Speaker 1: be like, Hey, I'm gonna call down to Tello. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell him you're being an asshole. And then I'd
Speaker 1: be like, you can't. You don't know, Donna Tello, you
Speaker 1: can't call him, And then she would literally like call
Speaker 1: up her friend Furl, and then Furl would be on
Speaker 1: the phone like, hey, listen, it's me Donna Tello. Looks
Speaker 1: like you can't be in Ninja Turtle no more. And
Speaker 1: I no devastated, crying, And she did it to me
Speaker 1: for years because yeah, that's why Pharaoh, why I was
Speaker 1: Parrel So, But I don't want to derail this here,
Speaker 1: but I think why I was Farrell so willaid how
Speaker 1: Farrel so? I think for I think, well, Farrel was
Speaker 1: her best friend and she now Farrel is is she?
Speaker 1: But my mom was a supportive friend in Farrel coming
Speaker 1: out and sort of like discovering herself in the world.
Speaker 1: And I think Farrel for that reason, was just down
Speaker 1: for whatever my mom asked for. Ride will a child
Speaker 1: for you? What's crazy that? I do? Think my mom
Speaker 1: had a friend, Um, if I remember correctly, her friend
Speaker 1: had also told me this live. I remember both of
Speaker 1: them being like, yeah, it's true to me at one point.
Speaker 1: So yeah, their parents friends be out here riding to
Speaker 1: lie children, to terrorize children. Okay, So I thought it
Speaker 1: was just that right, But it turns out that the
Speaker 1: actual route of this comes from an article that was
Speaker 1: published in eighteen seventy three. All the way back in
Speaker 1: eighteen seventy three, this wreck putable at the time, very
Speaker 1: reputable medical journal called The Clinic UH published this article
Speaker 1: called the tooth Ant. The tooth Ant. It's published in
Speaker 1: this reputable medical journal. But here's the caveat here's where
Speaker 1: it gets crazy is they didn't do any science attached
Speaker 1: to this. They just pulled this article from a New
Speaker 1: Jersey newspaper that they found that some guy basically wrote
Speaker 1: about himself and said like, Hey, this happened to me,
Speaker 1: y'all should publish it. And then they did. And so
Speaker 1: the tooth Ant, as it UH plainly, sort of sounds basically,
Speaker 1: this dude claims that he goes to a doctor complaining
Speaker 1: about a toothache. They pull the tooth and it's rotten.
Speaker 1: It's like a bad tooth. It's eighteen seventy three. You know,
Speaker 1: either you had rotten teeth or you stole them from slaves,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like pretty much that was
Speaker 1: the only option back then. But so he had he
Speaker 1: had this rotten tooth. They send him home with his
Speaker 1: rotten too and when he gets home, he's like, I
Speaker 1: gotta know what was so bad about this tooth. I
Speaker 1: gotta know why it was hurting me so bad it
Speaker 1: made me want to cry. I need to know. And
Speaker 1: so he cracks the tooth open, and the tooth opens,
Speaker 1: and an aunt crawls out and then runs for its
Speaker 1: life towards off his kitchen table. Uh. And apparently this
Speaker 1: aunt had been living in his tooth the entire time. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. We think this man is lying, right like,
Speaker 1: because we do have to get on the same box
Speaker 1: and Sanna need to get on the same page. We
Speaker 1: think this man is lying. I do believe he's lying,
Speaker 1: but I'd love to hear why you think he's lying.
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, so it's living in his tooth the
Speaker 1: whole time. All right, I just want to unpack it, unless, sir,
Speaker 1: you have a cavity, which maybe it does sound like
Speaker 1: you did, because okay, at least that's why I'm rotting,
Speaker 1: and it hurts so bad. So so the ant crawled
Speaker 1: into the cavity, he never got it, so it rotted, right,
Speaker 1: But the ant just stayed in that bitch for whatever
Speaker 1: period of time from when the cavity formed to the
Speaker 1: point where it rotted, to then it was removed from
Speaker 1: your mouther had fallen out to you preserved it and
Speaker 1: then like got curious. This is a stretch of time
Speaker 1: we're talking about. So here's where it gets even more
Speaker 1: upsetting for you is that his claim is that there
Speaker 1: was like a tiny hole in the tooth that he
Speaker 1: found and that something had basically crawled in there and
Speaker 1: then grown as it was inside of there, like nourishing
Speaker 1: itself off of his like leftovers, And so he basically
Speaker 1: had built a home in his tooth, not had like
Speaker 1: crawled through the cavity, but like had just burrowed in.
Speaker 1: And I don't know it's to cocoon like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know it's personally either. But I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not only talk like I know these men, i'd be
Speaker 1: talking to him, but like I don't know them to cocoon,
Speaker 1: and I don't know them to like be parasitic in
Speaker 1: that way. He's like sort of describing what feels like
Speaker 1: a tape worm or something in a sense like instead
Speaker 1: of it being in your intestines, it's in your tooth.
Speaker 1: Like but just I just, I mean, Okay, if it
Speaker 1: grew when you drank water, wouldn't it have washed down
Speaker 1: It's presumably he drank some liquid at some point. Wouldn't
Speaker 1: it get washed down into your throat. That's the part
Speaker 1: that really confuses me, is like, Okay, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna follow you along the possibility that maybe this thing
Speaker 1: burrowed into your tooth. I find I'll make that. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. It's just it's in my nature to listen
Speaker 1: to these people and kind of agree. But even if
Speaker 1: we follow that entire journey, why does it just stay
Speaker 1: inside of the tooth? Why isn't it like how is
Speaker 1: it eating? Because then you're just telling me it's eating
Speaker 1: the root of your like nerve, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: what is it eating? That's sustaining it so much that
Speaker 1: it's grown own to the point that it's causing pain.
Speaker 1: That it's not pain, then a little aunt would be
Speaker 1: causing pain. Remember, still, how big could it have grown? Right,
Speaker 1: let's okay, we'll go on the walk. We'll go on
Speaker 1: the walk with him. Welcome, welcome, welcome. No, no, unfortunately no,
Speaker 1: But how big could it have grown? Most teeth are
Speaker 1: I was, I mean, most people's teeth besides Steve Harvey's
Speaker 1: are like roughly the same. Everybody's like roughly the same size.
Speaker 1: Let's say, like at best an inch or two if
Speaker 1: something's really gone awry with you. So how big did
Speaker 1: this ant grow? That? I again, that it would not
Speaker 1: have gotten washed down with a liquid and that it's
Speaker 1: going to stay burrowed in your two to the point
Speaker 1: that it is causing pain. And it's like, what is
Speaker 1: it eating? I don't know ants to like you're saying
Speaker 1: it was eating the root of your tooth, your nerve endings.
Speaker 1: It was it was like thriving on your nerve endings.
Speaker 1: We don't have evidence of that one. Yeah, there's no
Speaker 1: history of that in the ant's community. Yeah, at best,
Speaker 1: this aunt is like a two inch ant Okay, two
Speaker 1: inches in leng that's pretty big. That's that's a big
Speaker 1: fucking ant. Yeah, that's right. Hold on, okay, so that's
Speaker 1: the aunt is one because the two inch tooth is
Speaker 1: a problem. I know, not even see so not even
Speaker 1: not even they would be like, what's wrong with you? Man?
Speaker 1: Come on, man, imagine Steve Harvey truly get shipped on
Speaker 1: somebody else's teeth. He got some choppers on. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't get to do this. You're not allowed. Steve,
Speaker 1: so a one inch ant and it's just going to
Speaker 1: and you never felt it. Let's also go to say that,
Speaker 1: let's touch on that, because it's eating your nerve endings.
Speaker 1: You're going to feel. The nerve endings exist to receive
Speaker 1: signals um and you're going to feel that. You're gonna
Speaker 1: feel that. You also feel if your nerve ending is
Speaker 1: kind of cut off. So again, if it's eating the
Speaker 1: nerve endings, I think you would have at some point
Speaker 1: felt it eating those nerve endings aside them, you don't
Speaker 1: sense a living thing inside your mouth. That is let's
Speaker 1: call it one inch. It got that's a big that's
Speaker 1: a big ant. We're giving him a lot of friend here,
Speaker 1: you don't feel a one inch living thing in your
Speaker 1: mouth for around time, just moving around, just moving around,
Speaker 1: at least when it's eating. You've seen Aunt, little Hands.
Speaker 1: We've seen the movie Ants, like how the little feet
Speaker 1: their feet work together and get the mail up in there.
Speaker 1: Like we've seen you know that anatomically correct movie Ants
Speaker 1: with the little because side. We've seen Aunts, we've seen
Speaker 1: them singing songs. But like, I just it's absurd. I
Speaker 1: just it's absurd. I think this person was clearly lying.
Speaker 1: But I think the danger that sort of existed was
Speaker 1: this medical journal deciding that they were going to publish
Speaker 1: it and make this potentially a story that parents could
Speaker 1: then turn into something they weaponize against children. Uh and
Speaker 1: in particularly because in my research I looked up how
Speaker 1: many times ants crawl into our mouths, and it turns
Speaker 1: out that that's not a thing at all. That apparently
Speaker 1: ants are pretty smart and they know that a thing,
Speaker 1: a living thing breathing out carbon dioxide is probably a
Speaker 1: threat and not something you want to crawl into and
Speaker 1: burrow at night. You know what I mean. I mean,
Speaker 1: you see how they organize. Ants are so organized, like
Speaker 1: legitimately they go take food back to a queen or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then like, when they're trying to transport a big thing,
Speaker 1: they know how to organize and mobilize. Like that's a
Speaker 1: smart that's a smart insect. And so I'm like, in
Speaker 1: a sense, that journal, by posting that too, you know,
Speaker 1: is calling aunt stupid and I didn't. They don't have
Speaker 1: to tell you. I just like, why are you calling
Speaker 1: aunt stupid? We don't You're like, first of all, I
Speaker 1: don't like what they're saying, but I, more than an anything,
Speaker 1: don't like them disrespecting ants. Ants are smart? And how
Speaker 1: dare you? I want to be taken seriously here because
Speaker 1: I don't even like ants, right, I don't hate them
Speaker 1: like I hate. I don't like them, um one aunt whatever.
Speaker 1: But if you see one, there's many others. When I
Speaker 1: see a gang of them, then I start to get
Speaker 1: deeply uncomfortable and uneasy. But that being said, I'll never
Speaker 1: call them stupid, and so I do feel I'm like,
Speaker 1: we can all agree ants are stupid, So that this
Speaker 1: journal publish something that would be suggesting that ants are dumb,
Speaker 1: I'm like, that is irresponsible. That's irresponsible. You lost credit
Speaker 1: in egos book, and I think that means a lot
Speaker 1: for the clinic. And if I don't know that they're
Speaker 1: still around, they existed in eighteen seventy three. But if
Speaker 1: they do, fuck you the clinic, you're glad to us
Speaker 1: the one the clinic, the clinic. Okay. This is this
Speaker 1: is where the research got especially fascinating for me, though,
Speaker 1: because I basically found out that ants don't crawl in
Speaker 1: your mouths a night. That whole argument that people make
Speaker 1: about like you swallow so many spiders a year, it's
Speaker 1: completely bullshit. We're not actually eating spiders. Spiders have no
Speaker 1: interest in being swallowed, Like that's not a thing. Um.
Speaker 1: But what I did find especially fascinating is that apparently
Speaker 1: ants communicate through mouth and mouth contact. That like they
Speaker 1: do little like kisses with each other with like us,
Speaker 1: they like low kisses, but that's how they like tell
Speaker 1: each other, like, hey, don't go over there is some
Speaker 1: wild ship over there. Oh we got some food. This
Speaker 1: way they like through little mot canceled. If I just
Speaker 1: want to say, I'm like, dang ants consent. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that the ants are just out here, like
Speaker 1: it's like you didn't ask me, and you didn't need
Speaker 1: to ask me you're trying to get me information all
Speaker 1: on my mouth, Like, but okay, I'm sorry, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm thinking that so much. But okay. So the ants
Speaker 1: communicate through mouth and mouth contact, and a part of
Speaker 1: me and I don't know if you'll follow me down
Speaker 1: this train, but I'm excited to see how you'll responding
Speaker 1: the way. A part of me wonders if, in fact,
Speaker 1: ants do go in our mouths, are they trying to
Speaker 1: communicate something to us that we don't know? Are they
Speaker 1: trying to tell us something? The ants? I mean, here's
Speaker 1: an interesting thing is that the ants don't necessarily to
Speaker 1: the extent that they have thrive without us the ecosystem
Speaker 1: at play, so it does behove ants to try to
Speaker 1: protect us in a sense, right, And so perhaps they
Speaker 1: would be trying to communicate something to us as well.
Speaker 1: If they were crawling in mouth, it would be like
Speaker 1: they communicate by mouth to mouth. They can recognize our
Speaker 1: mouths and they're like, you, look, we don't really eat
Speaker 1: unless you buy these groceries. These grocers don't get made
Speaker 1: if y'all don't exist. Really a dog, we're a little
Speaker 1: lower on Captain crunch, and I'm gonna need you to, right,
Speaker 1: That's That's what I'm saying. Like, So, on one hand,
Speaker 1: you wonder if like answer, like, I recognize that we
Speaker 1: need these people because otherwise we'd be eating grass, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, we'd be eating grass and perhaps whatever vegetation
Speaker 1: happens to grow naturally without any sort of human hand
Speaker 1: in the in the matter. But then every non human
Speaker 1: organism would be trying to get those few tomatoes, every
Speaker 1: non human organism would be trying to get those few pineapples.
Speaker 1: So we do we need each other? And so maybe
Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, we want to communicate with you all
Speaker 1: like one office. Like, I think that's a real possibility.
Speaker 1: The other thing that I was sort of battling with
Speaker 1: is I've seen like this alien documentary, right, I was
Speaker 1: watching this alien documentary. I think it's called Unacknowledged. It's
Speaker 1: on Netflix. It's insane, but it basically suggests that aliens
Speaker 1: do exist. We've known about them for years and they
Speaker 1: won't tell us because the government blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But the thing that it's sort of positives is that
Speaker 1: aliens are not in fact coming to Earth to terrorize us.
Speaker 1: Aliens are coming to Earth to teach us how to
Speaker 1: be more like efficient and thus not kill each other.
Speaker 1: That like, they're trying to stop the end of humanity,
Speaker 1: And so a part of me wonders if these little
Speaker 1: bitty ants are giving us these sweet little kisses in
Speaker 1: our mouth at the possibility that, like, yo, this is
Speaker 1: how you stop murdering the earth? Yes, is it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is how you work together. This is how you build.
Speaker 1: That's how you work as a community. This is how
Speaker 1: you you know, we we have a leader too, we
Speaker 1: know what that's like. There's a chance there's a chance
Speaker 1: I am concerned about the alien thing only in that Like,
Speaker 1: if aliens main thing is to try to teach us
Speaker 1: how to be more efficient, I'm like, I think our
Speaker 1: problem is not necessary our desire for efficiency or are
Speaker 1: figuring out how to be efficient? It's maybe is I
Speaker 1: think like capitalism? Right? So there coming to like capitalism
Speaker 1: it then I go like, okay, I will like to
Speaker 1: vide that they are just. But then of course that
Speaker 1: documentary you would watch would be deemed propaganda, and so
Speaker 1: you know it's a big web. Well, I have to
Speaker 1: assume the aliens don't give a funk about our money,
Speaker 1: you know what, I mean, they're not coming down like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is how you make your planet more carbon neutral,
Speaker 1: but you better respect that George Washington dollar bill, that
Speaker 1: that means something to us that's valuable. They don't give
Speaker 1: a ship I know, But I'm just like, teach us
Speaker 1: something more. Efficiency sometimes, like efficiency feels like part of
Speaker 1: the root of like capitalism, the way like productivity, how
Speaker 1: we value productivity and efficiency so so much. I'm like
Speaker 1: teach us something good, like to be better people. It
Speaker 1: feels like such a vague, sort of like umbrella statement
Speaker 1: that it it fall into like eugenics, where you're like, well,
Speaker 1: that's not an efficient person, so you should kill them,
Speaker 1: And yeah, I get that. No, I don't know aliens
Speaker 1: have a heart, you know, that's I guess I'm not
Speaker 1: sure that we know that. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: ants have hearts, So maybe we can't listen to these motherfucker's.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying to think of ways
Speaker 1: to fix this. There is a chance that ants stand
Speaker 1: to benefit or gain from making sure that we are straight,
Speaker 1: like humans are straight, and we're all in a sort
Speaker 1: of like symbiotic relationship in the ecosystem here, so it
Speaker 1: is not so far fetched, you know those um Peter
Speaker 1: billboards that's like where do you draw the line as
Speaker 1: far as like what do you eat? And it starts
Speaker 1: to cow, pig, whatever, then it's dog and it's like
Speaker 1: most people who eat meter like yeah, and I draw
Speaker 1: the line right there, right, it's the one that I like,
Speaker 1: I wonder like it's trying to send the message that
Speaker 1: like all living things right are feel and are worthy
Speaker 1: of their life and living. So I'm like, do ants
Speaker 1: go on that as well? I want to do do
Speaker 1: you know vegans kill aunts? I'm sorry now I'm like
Speaker 1: kill ants. I don't think they're supposed to, but I
Speaker 1: have to assume that there are some vegans in New
Speaker 1: York who are stopping the ship out of some roaches
Speaker 1: that like they didn't want in their own Like, if
Speaker 1: you're vegan in New York, you're not being cool about
Speaker 1: the road, you know what I mean? Come in your
Speaker 1: apartment because you love all living things, right, Okay? So
Speaker 1: I just I want to just say as far as
Speaker 1: the ants go, for like looking at it in the
Speaker 1: peta sense of it, like ants should be on that
Speaker 1: billboard too, if the billboard could spand Miles over several states.
Speaker 1: I feel at the end of it would be like ants,
Speaker 1: because I like when people try to tell people they're
Speaker 1: smaller and significant, they'll be like that person is an aunt.
Speaker 1: Like so I'm like they feel like at the end
Speaker 1: of that list that Pete has created. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: they are part of the ecosystem and they are living.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I don't know hands up links,
Speaker 1: I don't know hands up. I love it. Well, we
Speaker 1: figured it out. Ants need to be included on your
Speaker 1: peda posters. Otherwise we're gonna keep eating these fucking pigs.
Speaker 1: That's the deal that Eggo and I made. And we're
Speaker 1: gonna take a break and we'll be back with more,
Speaker 1: my mama told me. And we are back. We're back
Speaker 1: here with more. My mama told me more. Eggo WoT them.
Speaker 1: We're out here. We're enjoying very deep conversation that possibly
Speaker 1: saves the planet. I think we're potentially saving the planet here.
Speaker 1: I think we are. I'm not sure, and I don't
Speaker 1: know that if we ever learned to talk to ants,
Speaker 1: it's over for you host. That's how we see and
Speaker 1: who are you host? Though? That's the thing though, if
Speaker 1: we're trying to save the planet and say all lives. Yeah,
Speaker 1: right now, Okay, now you're getting into something because now
Speaker 1: we gotselves that it's over for the right Host suggests
Speaker 1: that somebody is less than and we can't have them
Speaker 1: be less than. They have to be valuable the same
Speaker 1: way that these ants are. I'm just saying, you got Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is tough because either either we heal the planet
Speaker 1: and we save everyone's lives. But here's the caveat no
Speaker 1: more hopes, and that's still I'm gonna say homes are valuable.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say hose are valuable. Um As a progressive yeah,
Speaker 1: we can't say it's over for these homes. We need
Speaker 1: to cut that out of our vocabulary. I'd say it's
Speaker 1: offensive language. It's open for you, Host, Come on, it's
Speaker 1: a continuation for you. Host. We're gonna keep letting you
Speaker 1: be because you're valuable. You mean the world to me. Host.
Speaker 1: I'm good with that. See I can. I can rest
Speaker 1: with that. I love that. We're gonna we're gonna play
Speaker 1: a game. And this game is called Okay, And this
Speaker 1: is a fun game where I am going to introduce
Speaker 1: to you a standard fact in the world, a fact that,
Speaker 1: for the most part, it seems like everybody agrees with right.
Speaker 1: And then I would like for you, using whatever skills
Speaker 1: you need uh to hotep that fact, to make it
Speaker 1: as hotep as you possibly can. Feel free to go
Speaker 1: as wild and crazy as you possibly want. All Right,
Speaker 1: the fact that I want to introduce to you, and
Speaker 1: I learned this one today. This is new for me.
Speaker 1: I learned that Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise has been married
Speaker 1: three times to three different women, Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman,
Speaker 1: and Katie Holmes. He married three women, all of which
Speaker 1: he divorced at the age of thirty three. Thirty three
Speaker 1: they with out do what you want with it. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you this right now. Off tops. The
Speaker 1: thing about it is thirty three. That is a significant number.
Speaker 1: That's the age of white Jesus. And that's them. You
Speaker 1: remember the time Tom Cruise was all in the news
Speaker 1: and all you know he jumping on Oprah's couch. That's
Speaker 1: because they wanted you to accept white Jesus. They're trying
Speaker 1: to send a message at thirty three. In fact, none
Speaker 1: of us would turn thirty three if it weren't for
Speaker 1: the man trying to control us. It's actually intended that
Speaker 1: our ancestors in Africa, they went from thirty two to
Speaker 1: thirty four three. When you learn if you study your
Speaker 1: own history, if you study your own history lengths, and
Speaker 1: young man, listen to me, I'm trying to and you giggling,
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to give you the rail if you
Speaker 1: studied your own history. The way numerology even works, thirty
Speaker 1: three was not a number, alright, thirty three wasn't a number.
Speaker 1: And you know some of my brothers and sisters argue
Speaker 1: that same way. Twenty two and eleven are not numbers.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go so far as to say that
Speaker 1: when they when they doubling up the numbers, and you
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying, eleven, you see what eleven have
Speaker 1: in common. This is an attempt for them to thirty
Speaker 1: three was significant. Jesus died at age thirty three. This
Speaker 1: is an attempt for them to make us accept some
Speaker 1: form of their Christianity. And Tom Cruise and knows he's
Speaker 1: in the know. This is one of the biggest movie
Speaker 1: stars in White America. And I'm gonna be distinct here
Speaker 1: in White America and everybody's movie star. No not everybody's
Speaker 1: movie star. He ain't my movie star. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: right now, okay. And so he is in on it,
Speaker 1: all right. He's in this agenda to brainwash our brothers
Speaker 1: and sisters into thinking like they have to think like
Speaker 1: the man thinks. They elevated him. He made a deal
Speaker 1: you see, with the head white man, the head one, yeah,
Speaker 1: the one in charge, that he would marry three women
Speaker 1: three lengthston you're following three women, three and he would
Speaker 1: divorce them at thirty three each of them to send
Speaker 1: a message I am for you. I'm all about this
Speaker 1: agenda to get me. Do you understand what I'm I
Speaker 1: don't know, Okay, I get it. Listen, you did it
Speaker 1: thirty three three. He's just showing off for the man.
Speaker 1: He's just demonstrating to the man. Look here, white man
Speaker 1: in charge, I bow to you, and I will service
Speaker 1: all of your needs. And then meanwhile, y'all watch his
Speaker 1: movies Mission impossible, this that, watch him on the couch
Speaker 1: Mission impossible three, Yeah, exactly, and y'all revere this man.
Speaker 1: But his agenda is not for you. His agenda is
Speaker 1: not simply to entertain you. It is to brainwash you, y'all,
Speaker 1: falling for it all along, y'all falling for it house
Speaker 1: in my house. Nobody in here has the period, so
Speaker 1: there it is, there, it is. You know nothing about that.
Speaker 1: That's called motherfucking bars and that's homemade hope up with
Speaker 1: egg that would be tried. Thank you so much. I've
Speaker 1: only seen a couple of those videos. I saw that
Speaker 1: they were I've seen a couple of them. You did
Speaker 1: it exactly the way it was supposed to go. I've
Speaker 1: seen a few, and truly they make me laugh every time.
Speaker 1: But they're dead serious. Well, you got all the essential parts.
Speaker 1: They go into numbers. They love to break down numbers,
Speaker 1: and then uh, they love to uh at some point
Speaker 1: degrade women in the midst of whatever that is. As
Speaker 1: long as you're doing that, you're blaming white people, you're
Speaker 1: breaking down numbers, then you hate women. You nailed it.
Speaker 1: It's perfect. It's perfect. I feel like I did it,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, given the opportunity again in the
Speaker 1: future to do a HOTEP situation, I would only I
Speaker 1: would only get stronger and better. But yes, thank you
Speaker 1: so much, thank sure, Look, thank you, thank you for
Speaker 1: being here today. What a spectacular episode of my Mama
Speaker 1: told me ego, could you tell everybody where they can
Speaker 1: find you what cool ship you got going on all that? Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: you can find me guys on Instagram at Eggy Boom
Speaker 1: that's e g g y b o o M. On
Speaker 1: Twitter at Eggie underscore Boom. The underscore is because someone
Speaker 1: else has the Eggy Boom handle and girl, give it up.
Speaker 1: Why are you playing? I'm like, why are you playing?
Speaker 1: You don't even use it? Just give me the handle.
Speaker 1: And as I recently said on another podcast, I will
Speaker 1: not offer money for it. I'm not that best, but
Speaker 1: I will plead and I will plead with you on
Speaker 1: every podcast. Do you know all those podcasts you're not
Speaker 1: listening to, Well, guess motherfucker, I am going to make
Speaker 1: my case. I'm just gonna I'm listening. I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: to say, you know, maybe someone she knows is listening.
Speaker 1: But anyway, find me on there, catch me on SNL
Speaker 1: when we return, and what else. Just keep an eye.
Speaker 1: I'll kept all my stuff on my social So yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for Yeah, you were great, And as always,
Speaker 1: you can follow me at lengthston Kerman and follow the
Speaker 1: podcast and subscribe and say nice things on the internet.
Speaker 1: If you so choose, and if you don't, I'll never
Speaker 1: fucking forgive you. Okay, Bye, chips in your qual racists,
Speaker 1: mostly money stuff I can't tell me.