1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: Bugle up, hold on pink, Tommy. Uh, all right, this 2 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: is about a cheating husband. It's called the subject is husband, 3 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: then brother in law. Now okay, here we go to 4 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: Shirley Stephen Crew. I need your help and advice badly. 5 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: About six months ago, I caught my husband and sister 6 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: in bed together. I come home early from a business 7 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: trip and heard a lot of noise coming from our 8 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: master bedroom. I ran upstairs and walked into our room, 9 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: and they were getting their freak on. I think I 10 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: maybe maybe have stopped breathing for a while, because the 11 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: next thing I know, I was gasping for air. Till 12 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: this day, I cannot get that image out of my head. 13 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: Surely and Steve, my sister and husband sucked the life 14 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: out of my heart. I know. I don't think I've 15 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: ever had anybody in this world to hurt me like 16 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: they did. I constantly pray and ask God to make 17 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: my heart whole again, but right now I am struggling. 18 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: I could not forgive my husband or my sister for 19 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: their actions, so my husband and I divorced. My sister 20 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: is basically dead to me. I no longer speak to 21 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: her or even acknowledge that she is my sister. The 22 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: worst part of all is I got an invitation in 23 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: the mail from the two of them announcing their wedding. 24 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, my ex husband, will soon be my brother 25 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: in law. This sounds like something on Jerry Springers Show. 26 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: The anger that I feel toward them the two of 27 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: them has now turned into hate. I have never had 28 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: this much hate, all capital letters in my heart for anyone. 29 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: My problem is my parents. My parents keep telling me 30 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: I need to let this go and forgive both my 31 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: ex husband and sister. What are your opinions? I made 32 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: it clear to both my ex husband and ex sister 33 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: to steer clear of me. I feel like the invitation 34 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 1: to their wedding was a slap in the face. I 35 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: am ticked off and hurt woman on the verge of revenge. 36 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 1: Do I forgive or let it go? Hurt in Georgia 37 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: Wa ha, Dear Hart in Georgia, I hurt for you. Um, 38 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: this is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. This, 39 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: of course, is the ultimate betrayal between two people you trusted. 40 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: And it doesn't get much worse than this. Mean you 41 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: know this is worse. What a scene to walk in 42 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: on I don't know a person alive who wouldn't feel 43 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: right now how you feel a lot of people would 44 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: have taken it even further than this, uh, if this 45 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: happened to them. But I do have to tell you this, 46 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: even with with everything that has gone down in your life, 47 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: you still have to get on with your life. And 48 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: as long as you stay in this rut and not 49 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: forgive and this anger and this hate, you won't be 50 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: able to move forward. You're gonna have to forgive them 51 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: at some point or else you're just gonna it's just 52 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: gonna fester like an untreated disease. You're gonna have to 53 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: be able to move on. And the way you move 54 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: on is to forgive them. It's gonna be hard. You 55 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: don't have to be friends with them, but just forgive them, 56 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: all right. Part two of Steve's response. He's coming up 57 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: at twenty three after the hour. Don't go anywhere, We'll 58 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: be right back. Come on, Steve. Finish your response to 59 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: part two of today's Strawberry Letter. Let's go, Stephen Crewe. 60 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: I need your helping advice badly. About six months ago, 61 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: I called my husband and sister in bed together. I 62 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: can came home early from a business trip and heard 63 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: a lot of noise coming from my master bedroom. I 64 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: ran upstairs and walked into our room, and there they 65 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: were getting their freak on. I think I may have 66 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: stopped breathing for a while, because the next thing I knew, 67 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: I was gasping for air. To this day, I cannot 68 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 1: get that image out of my head. Shirley and Steve, 69 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: my sister and husband, sucked the life out of my heart. 70 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 1: I don't think I have ever had anybody in this 71 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: world hurt me like they did. I constantly pray and 72 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: ask God to make my heart whole again, but right 73 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: now I'm struggling. I could not forgive my husband or 74 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: my sister for their actions, so my husband and I divorced. 75 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: My sister is basically dead to me. I no longer 76 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: speak to her or even acknowledge that she is my sister. 77 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: The worst part of it all is that I get 78 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: an invitation in the mail from the two of them 79 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 1: announcing their wedding. Stephen Shirley, my ex husband, will soon 80 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: be my brother in law. This sounds like something on 81 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,359 Speaker 1: Jerry Springer Show. The anger that I feel towards the 82 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 1: two of them has now turned into hate. I have 83 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: never had this much hate in my heart for anybody. 84 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: My problem is my parents keep telling me I need 85 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: to let this go and forgive both my ex husband 86 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 1: and sister. What are your opinions? I made it clear 87 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: to both my ex husband and ex sister to steer 88 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: clear of me. I feel like the invitation to their 89 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: wedding was a slap in the face. I am ticked 90 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: off and a hurt woman on the verge of revenge. 91 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 1: Do I forgive or let go hurt in Georgia. I'm 92 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: glad to know that you told us where you're located, 93 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 1: so we don't do anymore broadcast from there because I 94 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: know some gunfire gonna break out any day now. Um, 95 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,119 Speaker 1: it's easy for all of us to read this letter 96 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: and say what this lady should do because we are 97 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: chair quarterback. It's after the fact that we all got opinions. 98 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: What Shirley says is absolutely correct. It's the only way 99 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: for her to move on with her life. She has 100 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: to let the hatred go. I'm a person who has 101 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: ex fears hate before. I hated a guy before for 102 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: something he did to me. It took me seven years 103 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: to let it go. When I let it go. I 104 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: can't tell you how much better I felt. See these 105 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 1: two people have gone on with their life. Now are 106 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 1: they wrong? Dead wrong? How can you imagine coming home 107 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: from work and the two people that you absolutely can 108 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: depend on, supposedly your mate that you took your wed 109 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: and vows with, and your blood sister or brother. I 110 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: can't imagine my brother doing this to me. This would 111 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: have broke my heart. But then for your wife to 112 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: do it to you, and your brother or your husband 113 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: do it to you and your sister. Can we not 114 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: see the pain, the real pain that this woman has 115 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: got to be in. Now she get invitation in the 116 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: mail we're having a wed and her mom and daddy 117 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: and told her to gone and get past it. Well, 118 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: people mad at the mom and daddy for saying this. Well, 119 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 1: daddy got to go to another way. You gotta get 120 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: a daughter away again. Only problem is she giving his 121 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 1: daughter away to the same dude that he gave his 122 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: other daughter too. Now I'm gonna tell you right now, 123 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: this letter gonna read different cause that's the daddy. This 124 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: is why I step in, because playboy, it's going to 125 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: take a survel or survel traumatized, whooping from me. Now normal, 126 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: get another email from kid down and making that's saying 127 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: I'm contributing to the black prison rate in this country 128 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: because I condoned violence. Okay, Kid, here I go again. 129 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: But I really see no other way a personally me, 130 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: I just don't see how when I tiptoe him stairs, 131 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: I hear all his noise coming from bedroom and open 132 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: the dope and it's my brother and my wife or 133 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: my husband and my sister. Well, I didn't guess what. 134 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: I ease right on back downstairs and get a kitchen 135 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: table lad. I snap it off and I go ain't 136 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: up to step or dining room table. I snap it 137 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: off and come back up stairs, and it's gonna be 138 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: some more noise in the room. But but with that said, 139 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: first of all, the title of this letter would have 140 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: been the funeral is Monday. Secondly, in all fairness, though, 141 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: what what what should this woman do? It is what 142 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: she wants to know. Shirley is absolutely correct. You can 143 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: forgive a person you ain't got to be their friend, 144 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: but the forgiveness ain't for them A lot of times, y'all, 145 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: the forgiveness is for you, because the hate that's burning 146 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: in this woman's heart is eating her heart. She the 147 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: one got to go to God to ask to make 148 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: her heart whole again because they had a tear in it. Well, 149 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: now you've compounded the tear. You've added the element of hate. 150 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: There's nothing more cancerous than hate. If you want to 151 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: waste some time, spend your time hating somebody, because guess what, 152 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: the very person that you normally hayten have gone on 153 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: about their business. They're skipping and enjoining their day. You're 154 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: letting this cancer eat at your heart. So, Shirley, it's 155 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: absolutely correct. You have to forgive them. Now. You can 156 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: forgive a couple of different ways. It's really only one 157 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: way to forgive. You ain't got to be a friend. 158 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: You ain't got to talk to him. You ain't got 159 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: to sit up and head it's messing your face. All right, 160 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: we have to go. Don't forget. You can email us 161 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at 162 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: my Girl surely and don't forget this Coming Thursday at 163 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: one o'clock Eastern time, please join me for Strawberry Letter 164 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 1: live on Facebook. After the show, we'll be talking about 165 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: that particular day Strawberry Letter. Your own personal Strawberry Letter 166 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: that you have excited about. Surely I think that's a 167 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: great face. Yes you can see, yes, you can see 168 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: my blond hair that Steve's talking about. Well, yes, of 169 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 1: course I've already invited the team can ask my question. 170 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 1: Working with these guys you just got home, don't let 171 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: you two foods come on here and have you off 172 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: the air for you get started. We're gonna get no no, no, no, 173 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: no no no no, you don't let these two get 174 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: the day on Facebook with the baby Dad anyway. It's 175 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: going to be this coming Thursday, one pm Eastern time 176 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: after the show Strawberry Letter Live on Facebook. You can 177 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: find me at Shirley Strawberry or at my girl Shirley. 178 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much, and uh you can't wait, Okay, 179 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: all right