Speaker 1: Non Berg and Ron Berg and Dan talking and say
Speaker 1: anything Berg and wrong back and he's not playing any game.
Speaker 1: Good morning, listeners, this is Ron Burgundy and I hope
Speaker 1: everyone is having a great morning enjoying the great weather
Speaker 1: with a little cup of Joe. Actually, I can't fake
Speaker 1: it today. I don't know what to say. I well,
Speaker 1: I just it just received some news before walking into
Speaker 1: the studio today. I wish I could say it was
Speaker 1: good news, but no, it's pretty dark, to be honest,
Speaker 1: and not funny dark like Lenny Bruce or or when
Speaker 1: a kid falls down. It's just it's just dark and
Speaker 1: full of despair. What's going on? Okay, I'll just say it.
Speaker 1: I got some results back from my doctor. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Ron and I have an announcement. I have a cavity?
Speaker 1: What is wrong with you? And yes, of course I'm scared.
Speaker 1: I mean, why me? If it if it had to
Speaker 1: happen to anyone, why not Carolina? You know because I
Speaker 1: brush my teeth. Excuse me, I brush my teeth. I'm
Speaker 1: not an animal. Well you have to brush twice a day,
Speaker 1: So do you brush twice a day? Okay, Carolina, A
Speaker 1: nice try. I wasn't born, do you mean you weren't
Speaker 1: born yesterday, because that's listen. I'm not trying to trick you.
Speaker 1: If you have to brush twice a day, when do
Speaker 1: you brush your teeth? When do I brush my teeth
Speaker 1: when everyone else does on holidays? You only brush your
Speaker 1: teeth on holidays, well, not all holidays, I mean Presents
Speaker 1: Day isn't really a holiday, is it? So? So I
Speaker 1: brushed during Christmas or New Year's I put on some
Speaker 1: nice slacks, I brushed the mustache with my ivory comb,
Speaker 1: and I brushed my choppers. It's the holiday, so you
Speaker 1: want to do it up, and sometimes I forget. I'm
Speaker 1: not perfect. Doesn't the smell of your breath bother you?
Speaker 1: You mean the smell of rare steak and aged whiskey,
Speaker 1: no Carolina, That doesn't bother me, just like the smell
Speaker 1: of top ramen and cold brew coffee must not bother you.
Speaker 1: Take it easy. Don't your teeth hurt? They felt fine,
Speaker 1: like normal teeth, with the texture of wool, And then
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, I felt a pain as sharp as
Speaker 1: zoos thunderbolt. So I went to the doctor. You went
Speaker 1: to your general doctor, yes, Then he referred me to
Speaker 1: a specialist you mean a dentist. Oh no, Carolina, are you?
Speaker 1: Are you a cabbage survivor as well? I wouldn't call
Speaker 1: myself a survivor, but yeah, what wicked webs we weave?
Speaker 1: I think we should move on. All right? What are
Speaker 1: we doing today? If anything? Well, are definitely doing something today,
Speaker 1: and that's that's why we're here in the studio where
Speaker 1: you're actually interviewing Clayton Kershaw. Oh right, okay, today we
Speaker 1: have Clayton Kersha, the famous Croatian circus cloud. No, no, wait,
Speaker 1: I didn't how many Clayton Kershaws are there? And I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the Dodgers picture. Well, Carolina, I specifically asked you,
Speaker 1: and I think I asked you upwards of fifty thousand
Speaker 1: times to get Clayton Kersha, the Croatian circus clown. He
Speaker 1: travels through Croatia in a wagon led by mules. And
Speaker 1: that's who you wanted to interview, the Croatian circus for
Speaker 1: the millionth time. Yes, I mean, does a baseball pitcher
Speaker 1: even know anything about Croatia? I'm not sure. I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe we just let's stay off the topic of Croatia.
Speaker 1: It might not make sense to ask about it. I know,
Speaker 1: but I when I think of Clayton Kersha, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: think of Croatia. Just keep thinking about baseball, baseball questions.
Speaker 1: So he's a baseball player for who the last Angels Dodgers. Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: Clayton Kershaw. That Clayton Kersha. Oh he's outstanding. You're very familiar,
Speaker 1: very familiar. I can't wait to talk to him. In fact,
Speaker 1: we will talk to him right after these messages. And
Speaker 1: welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We are very
Speaker 1: excited to have here in the studio with us from
Speaker 1: the Los Angeles Dodgers. Picture Clayton Kershaw. Clayton, welcome to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Thanks for having me wrong appreciate it. Carolina.
Speaker 1: Are you excited to meet Clayton Kershaw. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: I just learned about baseball and Ron walked me through
Speaker 1: a game. Clayton, you're a lefty. I'm a lefty. Were
Speaker 1: you always a lefty? Yes? The whole time, the whole time,
Speaker 1: whole time. Never you never thought about switching to write.
Speaker 1: I thought about it, but I just didn't work. It
Speaker 1: didn't work, could not work. Does that give you an
Speaker 1: upper hand? Um? You know there's less of us so
Speaker 1: it's a little bit more unorthodox. So it definitely helps
Speaker 1: a little bit. For sure. The the left hander is
Speaker 1: very valuable in Major League Baseball. Yes, but there are
Speaker 1: no left added third baseman or catchers. Are you a
Speaker 1: lefty wrong? I'm a yeah, I right lefty. So you
Speaker 1: didn't play third base? I did? You did? That's why
Speaker 1: we lost every game that I couldn't make the throw
Speaker 1: across the diamond. You also read while you're on third base?
Speaker 1: I did. I would read. I'd have a paperback novel
Speaker 1: my back because I got base. I mean, you have to.
Speaker 1: It's it's kind of a boring game if you're if
Speaker 1: you're not paying attention on the action, is you know,
Speaker 1: intermittent at best? Yeah, you're right. I want to write that.
Speaker 1: I'm glad I fit that word in intermitted. That was
Speaker 1: I have a word a day. I tried to fit
Speaker 1: into my language. You were saying ardently a lot. I
Speaker 1: said ardently times. Whether it's fit or not, it was
Speaker 1: very intermittent. Did you play last night? We did? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we played? And who who did you guys? We played
Speaker 1: the Mets, New York Mets, and we won. I think
Speaker 1: the final school was eight to five. And were you
Speaker 1: at home or were you in New York? We were
Speaker 1: in l A. Ok, yes, we were home. And how
Speaker 1: are the Mets this year? Um, honestly, I don't know
Speaker 1: what the record is. I think they're okay because you
Speaker 1: don't care, right, you just play your game, Just play
Speaker 1: down there, and yeah, they're a good team. I think
Speaker 1: they'll be all right. Right, Yeah, what how many innings
Speaker 1: did you throw through? Six? Things? I didn't throw very well? Wrong,
Speaker 1: I had a rough game. Really, Yeah, it wasn't super great.
Speaker 1: Well talk about thanks for asking? Yeah, no, it was good.
Speaker 1: We did win. The main point when you when you
Speaker 1: don't have a game that you feel great about, how
Speaker 1: were you able to just you just gotta forget about it? Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's tough, you know, but as a starting pitcher, you
Speaker 1: play once every five days, so you got like four
Speaker 1: days to think about it and get back at it
Speaker 1: that fifth day. So what's your advice to players whatever age?
Speaker 1: In high school, middle school, we have a rough day, exactly, Well,
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen. I think you know, everybody's gonna have
Speaker 1: their bad days in baseball, right, But I think more
Speaker 1: than anything, it's just about how you go about it.
Speaker 1: And then baseball is a lot about how you handle failure.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of failure in baseball, so
Speaker 1: it's really important to be able to compartmentalize that. And
Speaker 1: um go from there. And you have a son. So
Speaker 1: when your son gets older, Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: super hard on him. I'm gonna keep the pressure, keep
Speaker 1: turn up the heat, let him know. Yeah. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: got a lot to live up to. That's good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. No, I just I just want to
Speaker 1: have fun, you know. I just as long as he's
Speaker 1: loving baseball, he can play as long as he wants.
Speaker 1: But what if he's like dad, Sorry, I like Badminton.
Speaker 1: I like leather bound books. What if he enjoys be great.
Speaker 1: In fact, I have some leather band books around here somewhere.
Speaker 1: I also have a loaf of bread. There it is.
Speaker 1: That's my lucky loaf of sour dough. There the listeners,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a giant loaf of sour dough bread.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like when a Laddin would bite into
Speaker 1: a sour dough in the cartoon. I don't remember that, Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: scratch that, you know, Carolina, make it count Okay, we've
Speaker 1: got Clayton Kershaw in here. I brought the future Hall
Speaker 1: of Famer and you bring up a Laddin and the
Speaker 1: bite into the bread and he's about to leave. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna leave right now? Okay, Well we'll get back
Speaker 1: to um. Let me ask you this question. What's the
Speaker 1: worst city to play baseball in? What's the place you
Speaker 1: hate the most? I don't know if I can answer that. Um, sure,
Speaker 1: go ahead, let me let me. I'll throw some names
Speaker 1: out and you can just either I'll not or Cleveland.
Speaker 1: It's it's not my favorite. Yeah, it's okay, rock and
Speaker 1: roll Hall of Fame. Yeah. Wait, you guys don't play
Speaker 1: in Cleveland ever, do you? Very rarely? Milwaukee? I like
Speaker 1: Milwaukee sleeper city, sleeper um Albany? Is there a professional
Speaker 1: team in Albany? Never been all right? Ah, Miami, it's
Speaker 1: it's a fun city, right The team's not great right now?
Speaker 1: So the fan atmosphere lacks a little bit, like there's
Speaker 1: no one there, not a lot what would you say,
Speaker 1: like a thousand people in the stands. It feels like that,
Speaker 1: it really does. Can you you guys can hear individual
Speaker 1: fans It is way worse when there's less people, because
Speaker 1: you can hear the youth sucks way more like way more.
Speaker 1: That's what I've heard. I heard. I heard someone was
Speaker 1: saying that professional ball players you can never acknowledge anything
Speaker 1: that the fans say to you. You're right, but because
Speaker 1: if you do, they'll know you can hear them. Yes,
Speaker 1: but sometimes you can't help it. Some of it's so
Speaker 1: funny though, wrong. What's the weird? Well, some of them
Speaker 1: do their research, right, Like they know your wife's name,
Speaker 1: your kids names. Yeah, I mean, they know where you're born.
Speaker 1: You know, they know anything that Wikipedia has, they'll find
Speaker 1: it and say it. And you've got to give them
Speaker 1: a little credit. They've done their research. But you know,
Speaker 1: I just appreciate a good old you know, you suck,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean that's just yeah, it's good. You
Speaker 1: can't can't fight that, Just say thank you and move on.
Speaker 1: You appreciate the fact that they're as tough of fans
Speaker 1: as you would want it. Dodger Stadium, exactly right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope we give it give it right, yeah, give
Speaker 1: it back. You've you've won three Cy Young Awards? Is
Speaker 1: that correct? Correct? Who is Cy Young? Does anyone know?
Speaker 1: And then and and my research shows me. And so
Speaker 1: in two thousand eleven, you won Baseball's pitching Triple Crown.
Speaker 1: What what is that? Exactly? Wins, wins versus losses, E,
Speaker 1: R A, and U, strikeouts, strikeouts. So you were the
Speaker 1: league leader in all three of those. And then that
Speaker 1: next year in did you just did you brag to everyone,
Speaker 1: all the other opposing players like triple Crown winner last year?
Speaker 1: Everybody I saw. I just kind of wrote it on
Speaker 1: my forehead. I mean, you've been described throughout your career
Speaker 1: as the best picture in baseball? Do you ever just
Speaker 1: scream that at people? Like if you can't get into
Speaker 1: you know, Chili's Friday Night, I'm sorry, Mr, Do you
Speaker 1: just scream at the hostess, I'm the best pitcher in baseball?
Speaker 1: Absolutely great. You can't borrow that for Chilies, by the way,
Speaker 1: it's for Clayton. You can't just yell that. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: now going to say I know the best pitcher in baseball.
Speaker 1: You can see that, give me a booth. You know
Speaker 1: what I like about Chilies, though, is they don't play favorites.
Speaker 1: So you say that, well, yeah, and you're gonna wait
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. Everybody cannot fault chilies for that. That's right,
Speaker 1: they don't they The only democracy laugh is chilies are Um.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, what's it like to be
Speaker 1: a Dodger with all that baseball history. It's awesome, It's
Speaker 1: got to be. It's great. I love it. One of
Speaker 1: these storied franchises in base not on baseball, but all
Speaker 1: of sports. So cool when you put that uniform on,
Speaker 1: do you do you sometimes wet your pants? I do? Yeah, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's so many cool people that have been
Speaker 1: part of the Dodgers. It's really special. I can think
Speaker 1: of all of them, Burt hooting Um, who else? Ah,
Speaker 1: mostly Burt hooton all of them, Doug raw Um, I
Speaker 1: haven't heard of Doug Doug rawl Burt hooting Um book
Speaker 1: who wrong name? Sorry, No, I don't. Here's here's something
Speaker 1: that always drives me crazy. I don't think Sandy Kofax
Speaker 1: gets enough credit. Four no hitters, a perfect game, all
Speaker 1: this while being the first and last Jewish woman ever
Speaker 1: to pitch in the big leagues. Why is that overlooked?
Speaker 1: It should not be. I mean, no one brings that up.
Speaker 1: Nobody There's there hasn't been a female pitcher in baseball
Speaker 1: before or since? And and this lady, have you ever
Speaker 1: seen a picture of like? I can't. I can't say
Speaker 1: that I have. You might want to just google that, Oh,
Speaker 1: check that out? Okay, Yeah, anyway, I just don't know
Speaker 1: why people don't make a bigger deal. I agree about
Speaker 1: the fact that you know, Sandra ko Fax amazing player,
Speaker 1: one of my favorites, even though I don't know what
Speaker 1: she looks. I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
Speaker 1: if I had to. If if they said to me,
Speaker 1: Sandy Kofax is down the building, I'd be really nervous
Speaker 1: and I'd say, where is she? What sort of dressing? Sandy?
Speaker 1: Raise your hand? Now? Is it true that your your
Speaker 1: great uncle discovered the planet Pluto? Is very true? Yes, Clyde, Tomball,
Speaker 1: Clyde is he really was? He really pissed when they
Speaker 1: said Pluto wasn't a planet. He the family was sure.
Speaker 1: We've got a lot of you know, we have for
Speaker 1: those listeners. Clayton's great uncle was I assume an astronomer
Speaker 1: or astrophysicists or something. Yeah, he discovered Pluto would be
Speaker 1: great if he's just an insurance silver and he just that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it Pluto. But he discovered Pluto did
Speaker 1: and then when they said it was not a planet,
Speaker 1: devastating to the my mom's maiden name Tomba family went crazy. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think it's mean to take it back. I think
Speaker 1: it is too. I mean what, yeah, who who gets
Speaker 1: the authority on planet naming or finding? You know, what's
Speaker 1: the governing body that can take that away? I don't know.
Speaker 1: So they think that Pluto is just a ball of
Speaker 1: inert gas, don't laugh, run run you know where I
Speaker 1: get a ball of inner gas. After after I eat
Speaker 1: a chilies. I was waiting for that one. Good. Okay,
Speaker 1: got that joke in. That was good. Um. I mean
Speaker 1: when you retire, do you feel like you need to
Speaker 1: discover a planet? I would love to. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like everything's I mean, when you're out of baseball,
Speaker 1: what is Clayton Kershaw? I think he's gonna do? Can
Speaker 1: I can I maybe help you out with the podcast? Wrong?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would love it. I think all
Speaker 1: positions are Oh they're final. I could be an intern,
Speaker 1: non paid. You know what, worked your way up from
Speaker 1: the bottom, right, I'll pay to learn the craft of
Speaker 1: podcasting Roun constantly threads to replace me. So I'm just
Speaker 1: really need I won't take your job. I won't do that.
Speaker 1: I won't do that. I gotta ask you this. So, Carolina,
Speaker 1: you may not know this, but the Dodgers are in
Speaker 1: the National League, yes, and the pictures in the National
Speaker 1: League have to hit with a sad sack American League.
Speaker 1: They don't have to hit what's called a designated hitter.
Speaker 1: What do you enjoy hitting as a picture? I love
Speaker 1: taking batting practice. Okay, so that's fun because you get
Speaker 1: to hit maybe a home run in batting practice and
Speaker 1: it's really fun. But then when it comes to the game, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's more difficult. It takes you out of your rhythm. Well,
Speaker 1: it's just it's hard and it's hard. Yeah. Hitting is
Speaker 1: like really hard, like the hardest thing to do in
Speaker 1: sports in my opinion. And I don't practice a lot
Speaker 1: um and it's you're facing guys that throw really hard
Speaker 1: and it's just hard. It's hard to do. The batting
Speaker 1: practice is fun. They throw it right there for you,
Speaker 1: right down Broadway, as they say, beautiful stadiums. You get
Speaker 1: to be a kid again, no pressure. It's awesome. Do
Speaker 1: you ever yelled at the opposing picture like, hey, just
Speaker 1: come on, throw it. Throw easy and I'll throw easy
Speaker 1: on you. No, because then I have to throw easy
Speaker 1: to them, and that's no fun. I gave up a
Speaker 1: hit to a picture yesterday. Oh jeez, you get you
Speaker 1: get ribbed in the clubhouse for that. I told you
Speaker 1: how to rough game yesterday. Note for our listeners, the
Speaker 1: game reference by Clayton Kershaw took place in May, not
Speaker 1: in the fall when this podcast is airing. Therefore, if
Speaker 1: there's any confusion, that's what happened. The game happened earlier
Speaker 1: in the season. Thank you for your patience. Good thank you.
Speaker 1: Jacob deGrom didn't he used to beautiful flowing locks of hair.
Speaker 1: He did, he can, and he cut it all off.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I trust me. If you've got
Speaker 1: a luscious mane of hair, don't don't get rid of it,
Speaker 1: because once it's gone, there's a good chance it's never
Speaker 1: coming back. Sometimes it grows. I never cut my hair,
Speaker 1: and it never grows. It's the same link all the time.
Speaker 1: It's a genetic imperfection. Oh my god, I was born
Speaker 1: with this head of hair. Yes, as a baby. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's so insane and the doctor was like, this is
Speaker 1: one gorgeous kid. Um. How many Dodger dogs have you
Speaker 1: had in one sitting? I've wanted to join the hot
Speaker 1: dog eating contest. I think I would do well, but
Speaker 1: I think two is probably the most I've had in
Speaker 1: one sitting. Did you ever want to meet Kobe Ashi,
Speaker 1: the professional hot dog eater? That's amazing. He's what did
Speaker 1: he eat sixty or something like that? Yes, amazing, Caroline.
Speaker 1: How many hot dogs have you eaten today? In general?
Speaker 1: I've eaten three or four hot dogs. There's nothing. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is about a dodge or dog.
Speaker 1: If you eat it fast enough, your body can't tell
Speaker 1: you your fault. And that's their slogan. You really do. Um.
Speaker 1: You know what. Sometimes I'll go to and all you
Speaker 1: can eat sushi and just sit there for six hours.
Speaker 1: I can't kick you out. I put a do not
Speaker 1: disturb side at my table and they get pissed at me.
Speaker 1: It's pretty crazy, and I'll just point to their sign
Speaker 1: all it says all you can eat, not even a
Speaker 1: time limit. You know what, don't call yourself all you
Speaker 1: can eat. They've taken you out and you've been literally
Speaker 1: punching in the air, just dragged out by L A. P. D.
Speaker 1: But gosh, darnett if I didn't eat two th dollars
Speaker 1: with the sushi. Yeah, not great sushi, not great sushi,
Speaker 1: but you can't resist deal. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: I'll go to the places with the be Health Code rating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know why, because they're happy to have me.
Speaker 1: They'll let me stay as long as they want. Um.
Speaker 1: The minor leagues. How many years were you in the
Speaker 1: minor leagues? Clayton too, Just two years. Yeah, that's pretty quick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a little quick, Yeah, but it was. It
Speaker 1: was a good experience. I had fun. But the minor leagues,
Speaker 1: I mean it's it's you know, you're riding busses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're it's not glamorous and not glamorous. No, not good.
Speaker 1: But you get to see some places you never see.
Speaker 1: Like have you ever been to Burlington, Iowa? I love it? Okay,
Speaker 1: well most people I say that I've got I've got
Speaker 1: a summer place there right on the lake. Burlington has
Speaker 1: a lake, doesn't Well, maybe it's a reservoir, the man
Speaker 1: made lakes. Maybe it's somewhere completely different, could be, could
Speaker 1: be but it's it's a good time. You get to
Speaker 1: hang out. And Burlington, I what were some of the
Speaker 1: other cities, Clinton, A lot of places in Iowa. Shockingly, um, Appleton, Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: This is the Midwest League. And would this have been
Speaker 1: uh single A double this was? This was single A
Speaker 1: and and then the other league was called the Southern League.
Speaker 1: And so I went to places like Jackson, Mississippi, Sebulon,
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Um, yeah, just and just You're staying in
Speaker 1: motels and yeah, you get what with a roommate, you
Speaker 1: share a room forty bucks a day for meal money,
Speaker 1: for meal money. They might it might have pushed up,
Speaker 1: but it was twenty. So you're in a lot of
Speaker 1: subway sandwiches and yeah subway actually, yes, all the time. Wow,
Speaker 1: anytime during that stent, we're like this blows. Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: for sure a lot. But that's why you try to
Speaker 1: go fast get out of there. Did you ever set
Speaker 1: a timetable? In other words, if if it's five years
Speaker 1: and I'm still a double A, forget it, hang it up,
Speaker 1: I'll go. Well, so I don't go to be a
Speaker 1: substitute school teacher? Yeah, I see, I would have need
Speaker 1: school for that, which would have been a problem because
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't. You went straight out of high school.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to college, so that was kind of
Speaker 1: my Hey, I've got four years. I would have been
Speaker 1: in college. So I got four years and then I
Speaker 1: would have had to think about some things probably, but
Speaker 1: thank god it worked out. It did work out. Scouted,
Speaker 1: how old were you when you started getting scouted? High school? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you were like a senior, junior, senior, and you
Speaker 1: get a choice. We probably were being offered college scholarships.
Speaker 1: I didn't have some. I could have gone to college.
Speaker 1: I was actually gonna go to Texas A and M University,
Speaker 1: and then you just decided, let's just go for it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I decided, Yeah, why not. I want to play baseball.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go to school. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: did it the whole time. Though. You were still going
Speaker 1: to night school, right, yeah, still doing that. But to
Speaker 1: to study to become a dermatologist, you don't have to
Speaker 1: go to college for that. I don't think so. No,
Speaker 1: I think it's the one medical fieldlogist. My dermatologist never
Speaker 1: went to school. I know he In fact, he a
Speaker 1: double a baseball. Yeah. He was a catcher and you
Speaker 1: have a huge mole. Yeah, I have. I have a
Speaker 1: mole on the back of my neck. I think he
Speaker 1: referred to it as a home run. I also have
Speaker 1: a cavity. We have to let that one go. It's
Speaker 1: not as bad as you and and my dentist was
Speaker 1: also a former minor league ball player, so life is
Speaker 1: funny that way. Do you have a good dermatologist? Do
Speaker 1: you need one? You should see My guy sounds good
Speaker 1: oddly enough. You know what his name is, Sandy. He's
Speaker 1: a guy though, he's a guy. Okay, okay, which is
Speaker 1: a weird name for a guy. Um, do you ever
Speaker 1: get jocketch. I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I've learned.
Speaker 1: I've learned my lesson. Yeah, um, yeah, you have the
Speaker 1: baby powder is a must. I once got jocketch right,
Speaker 1: and then I made the mistake of scratching my eyes
Speaker 1: and I had jocketch all in my eyes. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: chockic in my eyeballs. Never heard of that. But then
Speaker 1: I went to eat all you can eat sushi. It
Speaker 1: was a hell of a weekend, Oh my god. In fact,
Speaker 1: that was one of the places that had an A rating.
Speaker 1: And they're like, thanks to you, Mr Burgundy, we've gotta
Speaker 1: be rating. We've got jockeys all in our sushi. But
Speaker 1: you've heard that phrase, I got jockey itch all up
Speaker 1: in my sushi. I don't think I think that's a
Speaker 1: bad situation. I feel like I heard it in a
Speaker 1: hip hop song. That's something that's new in baseball. Everyone
Speaker 1: has a play on like, so when you go to
Speaker 1: the plate, a walk up. So what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? I'm more of a purist. I
Speaker 1: just like a little organ music, maybe a little organ
Speaker 1: Casey in the Sunshine band, Dent d d d Dan
Speaker 1: Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan. That's the way I like it. Uh,
Speaker 1: take me out to the ball game. And that's about it.
Speaker 1: But now there's all everyone's got a song. It's a
Speaker 1: it's a it's a bit of a thing. Do you
Speaker 1: guys change their song if they're slump? Okay, it's a
Speaker 1: it's a whole ordeal. Yeah yeah. Do you have any
Speaker 1: good luck? Ritual it's a very ritualistic game. Yes, you
Speaker 1: probably have a hole. You don't want to share them? Well,
Speaker 1: you don't have to talk about it, Okay, I've worn
Speaker 1: the same glove for a long time. Yeah, that's no
Speaker 1: big deal. Like ten years it's yeah, not a big deal.
Speaker 1: Like do I wear like my same underwear like all
Speaker 1: that stuff? Oh? You do? I do? I mean I
Speaker 1: wash them. But I've warned the same ones for a
Speaker 1: while when I pitched you do that, I war the
Speaker 1: same underwear washed. I only have three pair of underwear
Speaker 1: we got for your birthday and they're not lucky yet.
Speaker 1: What's the craziest superstition you've heard of? Any of your teammates?
Speaker 1: You don't have to say who? Let me think here?
Speaker 1: Um well, actually you know the craziest guy. I can
Speaker 1: say a name here because they're okay with it. Yes,
Speaker 1: he's retired, Um no more. Yeah, I played with No Maar.
Speaker 1: And the amount of stuff that he did with his
Speaker 1: batting gloves and his bad and he had that it
Speaker 1: was a whole thing. I mean, how do you remember
Speaker 1: all that? It's amazing. He probably just naturally does it.
Speaker 1: Just twitched all the time. Yeah, I mean it was.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. I don't sleep well at night, partly
Speaker 1: because I get up every fifteen minutes, circle three times
Speaker 1: and go back to the bed every fifteen minutes. That's
Speaker 1: my ritual. That's tough. To help me have a good
Speaker 1: night's sleep, but it really backfires. Yeah. Yeah, baseball is
Speaker 1: a lot of guys do weird stuff, Yes, no doubt.
Speaker 1: Does Ellen your wife ever say okay Clayton cut it out? Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah she does. Yeah. I mean I think since I've
Speaker 1: had kids, I've probably toned down my because when I
Speaker 1: used to pitch, like when I on my start days,
Speaker 1: I used to not be like a very pleasant person
Speaker 1: to be around, just kind of like super serious. Now
Speaker 1: with kids, they don't let that happen. So it's been
Speaker 1: it's been better, but still a little bit. So. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you let the kids know daddy's got to work. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they know. I mean, yeah, I try to be better,
Speaker 1: but they know, get your hands off my pitcha glove.
Speaker 1: I'm your father, Clayton Kershaw. You know I haven't said
Speaker 1: that to him yet. Okay, Yeah, Well to their own, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to teach their own. Before you go in to deliver
Speaker 1: the news, what do you tell Walter, Well, I tell
Speaker 1: everyone on the news team, don't forget I'm Ron Burgundy
Speaker 1: and you're not have a great show. That's yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not really wishing them well, but no, but it just
Speaker 1: sets the tone. Do you ever say to your your
Speaker 1: do you ever gather up the team before and and say, guys,
Speaker 1: if you make an air, I'm gonna punch you in
Speaker 1: the nutsack um. I haven't tried that method before. I
Speaker 1: don't know if fear is the best thing for guys
Speaker 1: playing behind you. Do you say that to your news team?
Speaker 1: Like if they mess up? If they mess uh, they don't,
Speaker 1: I say, guys, don't mess up, you know you'll be
Speaker 1: in the dog ours with me. And if I mess up,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about it. That seems wildly unfair. Well,
Speaker 1: I've got the I've got the juice. You know they
Speaker 1: don't yea, So now they don't really like me that
Speaker 1: much they want to hang around with me. But I
Speaker 1: think we deliver a great product. I would agree. What
Speaker 1: is behind the superstition of when a picture is throwing
Speaker 1: a no hitter, the team will not talk to that picture.
Speaker 1: And when is that determination made? Right around the fifth inning?
Speaker 1: Sixth inning? Yeah, I would say fifth or sixth inning.
Speaker 1: It's probably fair at that point. And then I don't
Speaker 1: know when that started, like you just kind of let
Speaker 1: them have their own space and the dugout. I don't
Speaker 1: know when that starts. It's it's a little bit freaky
Speaker 1: because you see the guy just sitting there. You don't
Speaker 1: you don't want to mess with him. If I was
Speaker 1: on your team, I would be like, Clayton, how are
Speaker 1: you doing? Do you need? Do you want like a
Speaker 1: hot dog? Hot dog, old towel or anything? Can I
Speaker 1: give you a shoulder rub? You'd probably punched me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, intentions are good there, but I think if
Speaker 1: you're the guy that talked to him and then he
Speaker 1: gave up a hit, you're that guy. It's not his fault,
Speaker 1: it's your fault. Wow. Yeah, I have to cut two.
Speaker 1: I love you and your wife have been together since
Speaker 1: you were Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: So did you go to prom together? We went to
Speaker 1: prom together? Yeah? She went to college though. What was
Speaker 1: the hit song at prom? Do you remember? I don't
Speaker 1: really might have been Backstreet? Yeah maybe yeah, maybe, or
Speaker 1: like Christina Aguilera possibly something in there. Yeah. And how
Speaker 1: did you ask her out? When you're fifteen? Passing period?
Speaker 1: Like after one class, so that way you only have
Speaker 1: five minutes so you don't have to like talk around
Speaker 1: with small talk after Hey, you want to go out. Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I gotta go to class. And then did you say, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Clayton Kershaw. I'm one day going to be a
Speaker 1: dominant pitcher in Major League Ill would you like to
Speaker 1: go on a date? I didn't know that at the time. Okay,
Speaker 1: that would have been a very That's true. That's true,
Speaker 1: and the rest is history. That's it. She stuck around.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll go back to high school. It's never too late.
Speaker 1: I mean. Well, on that note, Clayton Kershaw, we cannot
Speaker 1: thank you enough for such a pleasure for joining us
Speaker 1: here in the studio. We wish you the best of
Speaker 1: luck for the rest of the season. And boy, I
Speaker 1: just can't wait to come to a Dodger game and
Speaker 1: heckle you this information. I have so much information now
Speaker 1: to specifically ask you about. I can't wait. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much. Remember when you were in Burlington, Iowa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that'll be one of the heckles. It won't be It'll
Speaker 1: just be questions. It will just be a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: it will be impolite. Okay, Clayton Kershaw, thanks again, We
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Right back on the Ron Burgundy podcast,
Speaker 1: And we are back here on the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
Speaker 1: What a light Clayton Kershaw turned out to be? And
Speaker 1: dare I say a Wonka Wonka come again? Hubba hubbay
Speaker 1: goga Google. Handsome baby, that's a little much. I mean,
Speaker 1: gave me a sweet tooth, if you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Kind of right? I mean, Carolina, he's handsome, he's he's
Speaker 1: a Yeah, he's a handsome human. We gotta take it easy, No,
Speaker 1: I'm saying for you. Yeah, I mean he's very happily married.
Speaker 1: His wife is lovely. Allen, still right, you gotta layoff this.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying. Who it was hard for me to
Speaker 1: not get lost in those dreamy eyes. Is you had
Speaker 1: dried up drool on the corner of your mouth? Did
Speaker 1: I interview? That's embarrassing. You got to give me a
Speaker 1: signal next time. Well, kept on refreshing. Did I get
Speaker 1: those little white spit corners that Donald Trump develops after
Speaker 1: he's snorted too much? Adderall? Yeah, exactly? Okay, Well, okay,
Speaker 1: what's wrong? What are you thinking about? No, I'm just
Speaker 1: starting to think about my cavity again. Should I tell
Speaker 1: my friends? I mean, I don't want people to worry.
Speaker 1: I promised you nobody will worry. I'll need you to
Speaker 1: pick me up from the surgery, of course, and bring crutches.
Speaker 1: It's not like that. I don't know what information you
Speaker 1: have is. It's not like I need the crutches necessarily
Speaker 1: to walk. I just need people to know, Oh, he's
Speaker 1: had surgery. Stay away from me. Creates like a force
Speaker 1: field around here. You'll be completely fine. How will my
Speaker 1: sight be after the procedure? Is there a chance I
Speaker 1: will lose my sight? No, you will have the same
Speaker 1: exact Well, that's a relief in fact in some instances.
Speaker 1: I wonder if when you get cavity surgery does your
Speaker 1: does your vision get better? I've never heard of this,
Speaker 1: like when you hit your head and you've all of
Speaker 1: a sudden learned a foreign language. Again, never heard of
Speaker 1: that happening. I might vision perhaps well, oh Ron, before
Speaker 1: I forget. Yes, we spoke multiple times about Clayton's game
Speaker 1: last night with the Mets. Right. This podcast will be
Speaker 1: airing in the fall, So maybe we just I'm so stupid.
Speaker 1: Not that's not necessary. Maybe we just you can seamlessly
Speaker 1: stupid and the stupidest man on planet Earth. I hate
Speaker 1: when I do that, so I'll fix it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know exactly what to do. Are you sure you don't
Speaker 1: want me to? I know a seamless way to fix it. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: no offense to the Dodge's picture. But next week in
Speaker 1: the studio we will have Croatian clown Clayton Kersha. It's
Speaker 1: going to scare all the little children into brushing my teeth.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a little army of children that brush
Speaker 1: your teeth. Yes, well, you said I needed to brush
Speaker 1: my teeth more. Is that easier than brushing your own teeth?
Speaker 1: It's just something I won't have to child labor. It's
Speaker 1: not child labor. Just some children coming over your house
Speaker 1: in morning and at night on a regular cycle to
Speaker 1: brush my teeth because they want to do it, because
Speaker 1: they know the ramifications of the Croatian clown showing up
Speaker 1: in their closet while they sleep. If they don't perform
Speaker 1: their task, terrible, terrible myth to spread to children. Is
Speaker 1: it more terrible to have a mouth rotting with tooth
Speaker 1: the cay? No, your honor, I rest my case, Thank you, No,
Speaker 1: that was law and order. We'll see you next time
Speaker 1: on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio and Funnier Die. I'm
Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer, Carolina Barlow
Speaker 1: is my co host, writer and producer. Our producers are
Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien, Nick Stump, Miles Gray, and Whitney Hode. Our
Speaker 1: executive producer is Mike Ferret. Our exulting producer is Andrew Steele.
Speaker 1: Our coordinating producer is Colin McDougall. Our associate producers are
Speaker 1: Hannah Hosnier and Sophie Lichterman. Our writer is Jake Vogelness.
Speaker 1: Our production coordinator is Hannah Jacobson. This episode was engineered, mixed,
Speaker 1: and edited by Nick Stop. Until next time, this is
Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy.