Speaker 1: If somebody's kicking a dog, I'm sorry. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to feel love and peace and feed that. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick your ass. Welcome to the one you feed. Throughout time,
Speaker 1: great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have.
Speaker 1: Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what
Speaker 1: you think ring true, and yet for many of us,
Speaker 1: our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity,
Speaker 1: self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't
Speaker 1: have instead of what we do. We think things that
Speaker 1: hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not
Speaker 1: just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent,
Speaker 1: and creative effort to make a life worth living. This
Speaker 1: podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in
Speaker 1: the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. Thanks
Speaker 1: for joining us. Our guest this week is Johnette Napolitano,
Speaker 1: an American musician best known as the lead vocalist and
Speaker 1: songwriter and bassist for the band Concrete Blonde. Johnette is
Speaker 1: currently a resident of Joshua Tree, California. She composes music
Speaker 1: for films and works as a gallery artist, specializing and
Speaker 1: discarded and reclaimed materials. She also takes care of rescue horses.
Speaker 1: Her latest record is called Naked and her book is
Speaker 1: called Rough Mix. And here's the interview. Hi Janette, welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I am really excited to have you on. Every
Speaker 1: once in a while we get a guest that has
Speaker 1: figured prominently in my mental landscape for a long time,
Speaker 1: and you are one of those. You flatter me. Your
Speaker 1: your music has been a source of consolation and in
Speaker 1: comfort to me for well longer than i'd like to admit,
Speaker 1: back since your first records came out. So it's it's
Speaker 1: exciting for me to get to talk with you. Well,
Speaker 1: then I've done my job. Thank you. So our podcast
Speaker 1: is called The One You Feed, and it's based on
Speaker 1: the parable of Two Wolves, where there's a grandfather who's
Speaker 1: talking with his grandson. He says, in life, there are
Speaker 1: two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
Speaker 1: One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness
Speaker 1: and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf,
Speaker 1: which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And
Speaker 1: the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second,
Speaker 1: and he looks up at his grandfather and he says, well, grandfather,
Speaker 1: which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed.
Speaker 1: So I'd like to start off by asking you what
Speaker 1: that parable means to you in your life and in
Speaker 1: the work that you do. Well, Um, that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I understand that, and I do I do agree with
Speaker 1: it to a point, um, But I don't think it's
Speaker 1: a human being you can be consistent all time. And
Speaker 1: I also would say that while you have let's say,
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't speak the same language you do and you
Speaker 1: have to speak their language to make your point, um,
Speaker 1: And that and that language is not necessarily kindness and
Speaker 1: love and poetry all the time. Some things need to
Speaker 1: be fought for and you have to fight sometimes. I
Speaker 1: mean the country, this country wouldn't be here if it
Speaker 1: hadn't been fought for. Um. On the on the other hand,
Speaker 1: as a human being, uh, I want to be and
Speaker 1: we all should want to be kind and generous and
Speaker 1: all that and and feel love all the time. It
Speaker 1: just doesn't happen. It's not gonna happen. And so it's
Speaker 1: really like surfing, you know. Um, I have a friend
Speaker 1: um whose wife is a psychiatrist, and we have we
Speaker 1: discussed this and we call them wobbles. I call them wobbles.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you are not going to be
Speaker 1: consistent all the time. There are a lot of factors
Speaker 1: behind that, life factors, even astrology, you know, and which
Speaker 1: I which I do believe it, you know, and if
Speaker 1: if if it's strong enough to pull the tides and
Speaker 1: your body is mostly water, then it's strong enough to
Speaker 1: pull you. So I do keep tabs on on on
Speaker 1: that stuff, but not in order to rule me. I
Speaker 1: find it consistent with the way I feel. But I've
Speaker 1: learned as a mature human being or trying to get there,
Speaker 1: uh that that I'm in control of that and if
Speaker 1: it's if it's if I'm not feeling all the love today,
Speaker 1: I'm fortunate enough that I can pull back and not socialized,
Speaker 1: not be around people. I can control that, and that
Speaker 1: that I think is the ultimate. It's it's all about balance, um.
Speaker 1: Balance is basically what it's all about. And if i
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not in the most loving mood, I've
Speaker 1: learned how to control that, or I'm very close to it,
Speaker 1: you know, I do have a lot of Italian blood
Speaker 1: in me. So you know, I have learned that, and
Speaker 1: not all people deserve my love. I'm sorry. It's you know,
Speaker 1: if somebody's kicking a dog, I'm sorry, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to feel love and peace and feed that. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick your ass, you know. So, I I really think
Speaker 1: that it's not that simple. You know, I wish it were,
Speaker 1: but it's not. Yeah, I mean I think that that
Speaker 1: what I like about that that parable. I mean there's
Speaker 1: a lot of things. I think the main thing I
Speaker 1: like is it just becomes I think it just speaks
Speaker 1: to the fact that we have a choice in any
Speaker 1: moment to think about how we want to act and
Speaker 1: how we want to react. What you were just saying
Speaker 1: made me think of something, and I thought I'd be
Speaker 1: interested in getting your take on. So one of the
Speaker 1: things on the show that that comes up a lot
Speaker 1: is there seems to be a couple of responses to
Speaker 1: emotions that people have. I mean, on one side, there's
Speaker 1: the indulgence of the emotion, whether that be lashing out
Speaker 1: in anger or you know, drinking ourselves into despair or
Speaker 1: you know, watching t channeling it into channeling and into art, right,
Speaker 1: and so then there's the other end, which is repressing it,
Speaker 1: which is all I don't feel that or all those
Speaker 1: different things. I think there's a middle ground. And it
Speaker 1: sounds like to you that middle ground is channeling in art.
Speaker 1: What are other ways that you try and find that
Speaker 1: balance between repression and indulgence in emotion? Well, a lot
Speaker 1: of it depends on what is the root of that.
Speaker 1: A lot of it is chemical, um if and that
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about alcohol or drugs. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: what you eat, the world we live in, of the
Speaker 1: excess stimulation um and and now when you see what
Speaker 1: all these these kids are going crazy because they're over medicated,
Speaker 1: they're shooting up places and and that, you know, I
Speaker 1: just had an email from somebody in Australia the other
Speaker 1: day who was really hypercritical about the gun control thing
Speaker 1: and everything else, which of course is a mess. But
Speaker 1: there's always a route to that. It's a route to
Speaker 1: dysfunctional behavior. And whether the alcoholism, whether it be shooting
Speaker 1: up at school, whether it be anything, what is the
Speaker 1: root of it? You know? And you have to look
Speaker 1: at that, you know, um And it's a difficult question.
Speaker 1: Uh And and a kid doesn't know how to how
Speaker 1: to process these emotions or channel them in any way.
Speaker 1: You know. Um, that's why I think they draft eighteen
Speaker 1: year olds because eighteen year olds are full of angst.
Speaker 1: You know, you either wanna fuck or fight, and basically
Speaker 1: and when you get them at that age, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get him at that age, you know. So um, it's
Speaker 1: it's really a very complicated question. Or But to me also,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been studying dance for many, many years
Speaker 1: flamenco and that seems to tap into something in me,
Speaker 1: which is, you know, whatever anger there is or rage
Speaker 1: or upset, dance is very important. But we've taken all
Speaker 1: that out. I think especially kids need to be physically
Speaker 1: active to work out that adrenaline. I learned a lot
Speaker 1: about adrenaline from a friend of mine who is a neurologist,
Speaker 1: and that can old up for years and explode when
Speaker 1: you least expect it. And as human beings in a
Speaker 1: physiological sense, the changes that you go through, especially women, Um,
Speaker 1: you know your body for the first trimester of your life,
Speaker 1: the second trimester is different, and then you have a
Speaker 1: whole different thing that happens you know, after a certain period.
Speaker 1: So it's it's no pun intended, but it's a good one. Um.
Speaker 1: So there's there's so many factors. It's it's just not
Speaker 1: that simple, you know, it's not that simple. And you
Speaker 1: have to have some kind of awareness, and that's difficult
Speaker 1: because there's if you have no guidance, you don't have
Speaker 1: that awareness. And we don't have that awareness because as
Speaker 1: long as we're processed into machines and taking our drugs
Speaker 1: and and uh and I walking in line and staying
Speaker 1: in line, that's all that's expected of us. And it's
Speaker 1: not humanly possible. It's not who we are. And if
Speaker 1: you like to deny the spiritual part of us and
Speaker 1: not feed that, getting back to the parable, what are
Speaker 1: we feeding? You know, are we going to feed the art,
Speaker 1: the art side of us, the spiritual side of us,
Speaker 1: the creative side of us. We're not nobody's feeding that.
Speaker 1: We're cutting that back all the time. And what does
Speaker 1: what what is left a whole side of our brain
Speaker 1: that we're discouraged from using that is natural? Uh and
Speaker 1: and and that's just creating a monster. And it is
Speaker 1: creating monsters. Yeah, you mentioned a little bit about about
Speaker 1: shooting and as I was going back through your your catalog.
Speaker 1: I listened to God as a bullet, which that's painfully,
Speaker 1: painfully relevant right now. Painfully I know. I was really
Speaker 1: just this is almost more relevant now than it was
Speaker 1: when you wrote it that decade on the back of
Speaker 1: the sea. There is not a moment those forever. I
Speaker 1: had a lot of great plans. The man so bred
Speaker 1: my gone crazy because the baby get down my phone
Speaker 1: days time, say why it was the wrong, wrong, wrong?
Speaker 1: My god Frey? Hi, yeah, say I had Frank kill
Speaker 1: your lady. Lad yourself and know God is a fool
Speaker 1: that have my say honest every world. I actually had
Speaker 1: thought of that the other day in my exchange with
Speaker 1: with someone in Australia. I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: it's not that simple. You know, it's not that simple.
Speaker 1: It's not just a matter of taking guns away. I
Speaker 1: know many gun owners. Hell, if you come onto my property,
Speaker 1: I'll blow you away myself. But that doesn't mean is
Speaker 1: that's not the reason, you know what I mean, it's
Speaker 1: not the reason that once again, get back to the
Speaker 1: root of it. Why is someone going going on and
Speaker 1: shooting up a school as a kid. I know people
Speaker 1: out here with guns that have never had to use them.
Speaker 1: You know, but I live in a rural area, you know,
Speaker 1: And and that's that's very, very different, And it's just
Speaker 1: not a blanket. It's not an easy solution. But taking
Speaker 1: away everybody's guns, I have to say, And having written
Speaker 1: that song, it surprises me to hear myself say that.
Speaker 1: But since I've lived out here, I know many people
Speaker 1: with guns, carry guns, always have guns, and have never
Speaker 1: shot them. So, you know, what is that? And in
Speaker 1: the Swiss Army, by the way, uh, never mind a knife?
Speaker 1: They they are they have to meet weekly I think
Speaker 1: once a year. They keep their guns in their homes
Speaker 1: after they're out of the army at which is mandatory service.
Speaker 1: The Swiss don't go shooting up each other, you know,
Speaker 1: with guns anyway. But but what is why? Why? Why not? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think it's definitely a very nuanced debate. It's not
Speaker 1: as simple. There's no easy answers to any of these things.
Speaker 1: Speaking of where you live, I saw you, uh in
Speaker 1: your Twitter feed sometime over the last week mentioned something
Speaker 1: about um the Desert Land Trust. Could you tell me
Speaker 1: a little bit about what that is and what role
Speaker 1: your what role you're playing there? Well, I've willed my
Speaker 1: property to the doest the Mojabi Desert Land Trust. Because
Speaker 1: I've lived here a while. The desert is isn't a
Speaker 1: delicate ecosystem. It's not the waste land people think it is.
Speaker 1: It's always alive. Um. I've pulled four tortoises off the
Speaker 1: road since I've lived here. Um never mind. Um, but
Speaker 1: but I anyway, the trend out here is because it's
Speaker 1: Joshua trees. Trending now is to do air b and
Speaker 1: bes and Um. I was out here all by myself
Speaker 1: for a long time and now I have people on
Speaker 1: either side of me. Everybody thought it was cool to
Speaker 1: come out and flip property. Well it's not. It's not
Speaker 1: that simple either. But people don't know how to be
Speaker 1: in the desert and it's ruining, ruining the ecology of
Speaker 1: the desert. And uh, never mind the carnage that I've
Speaker 1: seen on the road, human and animal of people that
Speaker 1: don't know how to be, how to drive, They come
Speaker 1: out here and get their party on. You know, I
Speaker 1: just got on somebody's case and about them not living
Speaker 1: here and coming up and selling L S D at
Speaker 1: the music festival. That's not cool at all. People die
Speaker 1: from that. Those kids are young You're not gonna blow
Speaker 1: into my neighborhood and sell LSD at the music festival
Speaker 1: and then blow out. It's not gonna happen. And boy
Speaker 1: I got ripped a new one for that, but I
Speaker 1: don't care. I'll stand up for that. That's not right.
Speaker 1: These kids are too young. You shouldn't be taking stuff
Speaker 1: like that at that age anyway, or any age for
Speaker 1: that matter. I've seen it do damage that that it does.
Speaker 1: And the desert at its best is a very volatile environment.
Speaker 1: It's a harsh environment if you don't know how to
Speaker 1: be here, whether you're on drugs or not. It's easy
Speaker 1: to get lost within five ft of your car, you know,
Speaker 1: And it's and I know people that have done it,
Speaker 1: who know the desert. You know, you get a dust
Speaker 1: storm in here, you're screwed. You know, you can't find it.
Speaker 1: And it's just really a harsh environment. It doesn't take
Speaker 1: long to get sunstroke and die um and wander off
Speaker 1: because it all looks the same. If you're not from here,
Speaker 1: you don't know where you are. And I know a
Speaker 1: search and rescue, I know what they go through. I
Speaker 1: know people who train the Black Rock Rangers, you know
Speaker 1: who go to burning man to to to look after
Speaker 1: people and the emergency stuff there. You just got to
Speaker 1: be careful and people don't know how to do that,
Speaker 1: and um, it's a it's a very So anyway, I
Speaker 1: thought the best thing to do, and I've been talking
Speaker 1: about it a long time. But since I'm not twenty
Speaker 1: one anymore. And when my dad passed, God bless him,
Speaker 1: and he's never far from me. Um didn't leave a will,
Speaker 1: and and it was a bit of a mess. And
Speaker 1: I decided nobody likes it to think about making a will,
Speaker 1: because none of us want to think about dying. But
Speaker 1: you know what, I've seen enough out here in a
Speaker 1: split second. You know, people go down, people die, It
Speaker 1: happens all the time. And and I want my stuff straight.
Speaker 1: And I'm probably I think I'm the first one in
Speaker 1: my family to really ever have done that. And the
Speaker 1: Mojave Desert Land Trust has acquired great tracts of land,
Speaker 1: a lot of land, and the single reason it's preservation.
Speaker 1: And I thought, what better could I do with my
Speaker 1: five acres? I only have one acre fenced off, but
Speaker 1: the four acres that I have need to be left alone.
Speaker 1: And that is what I want. That is was my
Speaker 1: intention when I bought my place, and that is my
Speaker 1: intention when I leave, and that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: And I was just proud to do that. I was
Speaker 1: really nervous because, like I said, nobody wants to make
Speaker 1: a will this is you know, and um no, but
Speaker 1: I do go on too, or I do get on plane.
Speaker 1: I do have less and less confidence about that the
Speaker 1: whole thing. You know, Am I gonna land? Am I
Speaker 1: going to make it? You know? I mean I kissed
Speaker 1: the ground whenever I come home, even just going to
Speaker 1: the store, because I've seen I've seen such horrible ship
Speaker 1: on the highway, you know. So I really was proud
Speaker 1: to do that, and I'm I'm I'm pleased that they
Speaker 1: were glad about it, you know, and I'll probably be
Speaker 1: I'll probably be playing a show in the building before
Speaker 1: the end of the year. So I'm really, I was
Speaker 1: really it really made me feel good to do that.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was doing something definitely worth while. Well,
Speaker 1: that's that's wonderful. One of the songs, if I had
Speaker 1: to say, it was one of your very early songs,
Speaker 1: and yet I think it it speaks for you kind
Speaker 1: of who you've been and who you've remained for so
Speaker 1: long is true? That's my horse's name. Okay, Well, so
Speaker 1: clearly tat duode on my left hand tru w to
Speaker 1: when I play guitar, you get to see that. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And you've you've written you know, there's the original True,
Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite songs of all time.
Speaker 1: Then there's you've got the instrumental version, and then you
Speaker 1: did uh true. Three reason that I need to interject
Speaker 1: that the music was written by Jim Manky. He gave
Speaker 1: me if he gave me a cassette of music um
Speaker 1: that included about as a Bullet, which he wrote the
Speaker 1: music for and included True. And he hated it. He
Speaker 1: hated it. He didn't like it. And I said, this
Speaker 1: is so good. I'm not only going to put it
Speaker 1: on the record once I'm putting it on twice he
Speaker 1: hated that. So it was a good check and balance system.
Speaker 1: But that the credit for that song definitely goes to him.
Speaker 1: But you put the lyrics to it, yes, And then
Speaker 1: they talked you love and then they come down and down.
Speaker 1: That's the reason seems a very farrow way breath in
Speaker 1: the day. Yea, we have been rejected by everyone, uh
Speaker 1: in except Miles Copeland. In the early days, um that
Speaker 1: song was that what we submitted it to everybody. We
Speaker 1: had started making the record, and I actually had one
Speaker 1: record executive who is, well, the record business isn't what
Speaker 1: it used to be and this is this is why,
Speaker 1: because the dude was I mean hugely important VP who
Speaker 1: actually told me that I couldn't write songs and Jimmaka
Speaker 1: couldn't play guitar and he couldn't write songs either, and
Speaker 1: you know, there's not much I know in the world.
Speaker 1: But I just looked at him and went, what the
Speaker 1: hell are you doing in this job? And turned around
Speaker 1: and slapped him in and I walked away from a major,
Speaker 1: major record deal. And at the time I was I
Speaker 1: was I think I was thirty two or thirty three.
Speaker 1: And then what went around town was that I was
Speaker 1: getting old, and that's uh yeah, I think about that now.
Speaker 1: It corrects me up, but it wasn't funny then. But
Speaker 1: I stuck up for it. And I'm glad that you
Speaker 1: appreciate that song as much as I do. And that
Speaker 1: was the reason for the lyrics of that song, is
Speaker 1: because we had been rejected by everybody, and I had,
Speaker 1: you know, it was a lot of soul searching, and
Speaker 1: I just said, if I can't, if I can't make
Speaker 1: the music that is in my heart that comes to
Speaker 1: me is that I just don't want to do it
Speaker 1: at all. I'd I'd rather you know, work, you know,
Speaker 1: anywhere else. I'd rather go back to waitressing, you know. Yep.
Speaker 1: So a lot of times on the show we talk
Speaker 1: a lot about you know, life is paradoxical. What paradox
Speaker 1: or contradiction in your life have you had to learn
Speaker 1: to accept or embrace? Let's see which one? All of it?
Speaker 1: All of it? Yeah, all of it. I'm pretty much.
Speaker 1: You know, the Chinese have a great saying you have
Speaker 1: to learn to dance on a moving carpet. And there's
Speaker 1: you know, to bring in more cliches. But I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what cliches and cliches for a reason. Um, you
Speaker 1: have to you know. A recent paradox is you know,
Speaker 1: I've all I've wondered living out here for for as
Speaker 1: long as I have and taking myself out of Hollywood,
Speaker 1: the city I was born in. Um and my missing
Speaker 1: out on anything. Uh, the answer is no, I'm not
Speaker 1: missing it on anything, but a very strange thing happened
Speaker 1: recently as I was listening to Brian Eno Radio and uh,
Speaker 1: I heard this beautiful piece of piano music. And for
Speaker 1: the first time in my life that I can remember,
Speaker 1: I went who is this and went over and wrote
Speaker 1: it down and it was Harold Bud and I said wow.
Speaker 1: And I posted something on my Facebook and said, I'm
Speaker 1: listening to Harold bug music. Well, I got an email
Speaker 1: two days later from his son Terrence, that said, you know,
Speaker 1: we're doing a retrospective on my dad's work and they're
Speaker 1: one of the first names that came up. And I
Speaker 1: was amazed because not only has Harold Budd worked with Eno, Fripp,
Speaker 1: all kinds of people, but he's at a house up
Speaker 1: the up and near the National Park for the last
Speaker 1: ten years. He lived here forever. And I'm like, how
Speaker 1: did I not know you were here? And Harold and
Speaker 1: I are working on a on a beautiful book, and
Speaker 1: and he came out and recorded at my house and
Speaker 1: we have gorgeous music. And I'm just thinking, now, that's
Speaker 1: one of the strangest things that's ever happened. So I
Speaker 1: don't think it matters, especially in this day and age
Speaker 1: where a lot of people can get really especially my age,
Speaker 1: can get really down on the Internet and on the
Speaker 1: Facebook and all that sort of stuff. But the role
Speaker 1: of that social media has played, I mean politically, socially,
Speaker 1: just I mean just on every It's a tool and
Speaker 1: you can use it the way you want, you know.
Speaker 1: But that was the strangest thing to happen to me
Speaker 1: for a long time, because Harold and I should have
Speaker 1: known each other for years and he's just like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we're just soul mates and um and he's
Speaker 1: and he's just wonderful. So that is one of the paradoxes.
Speaker 1: It's like the further you get away, the closer you are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I find that. I found that amazing. I found that
Speaker 1: absolutely amazing. So uh and and and I think that's
Speaker 1: that's an example. You know, it's just life is like
Speaker 1: you say, you know, life is full of them, and
Speaker 1: there's just that's the mystery, you know, the mystery is
Speaker 1: what makes life with living really you know, we're not
Speaker 1: going to know it, you know. But that was a
Speaker 1: great example of like, am I missing something? Not only
Speaker 1: was I not missing anything, but here is a man
Speaker 1: who was a professor at cal Arts, and I was
Speaker 1: I always felt bad that I never got to go
Speaker 1: to college because my parents divorced. He's not only a professor,
Speaker 1: he's a professor one of the best art schools in
Speaker 1: the world. And and he's my best friend. And here
Speaker 1: we are collaborating, and and I just can't get over that.
Speaker 1: I still can't get over that. I was going to
Speaker 1: ask you about that. There's some really lovely pictures of
Speaker 1: the two you guys out there at your place recording.
Speaker 1: It looks like it's so much fun. Will Will Will
Speaker 1: the rest of us get to hear that music at
Speaker 1: any point? Yes? Absolutely. I'm actually in Chicago. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: having a meeting with um, with the gentleman who is
Speaker 1: in charge of taking care of Harold's business and and Aarons,
Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm in touch with with him every day,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna sit down and figure out how to
Speaker 1: do this because, uh, you know, I went to Pasadena,
Speaker 1: where HAIRB spent most of his time. He had a fall,
Speaker 1: so his son isn't crazy about him driving around by
Speaker 1: himself like a madman, although he does anyway, I can't
Speaker 1: keep up with him. And he's gonna be eighty years old.
Speaker 1: I love that so yeah, oh no, it's just amazing. Um.
Speaker 1: But yes we will, but we'll figure out how to
Speaker 1: do it, how to do it right. We'd want to
Speaker 1: do a live performance out here in the desert, and
Speaker 1: I would love to do it at the Hobby Desert
Speaker 1: Land Trust, and I talked to the parents about and
Speaker 1: so we're talking about quite a few things to do
Speaker 1: this fall. Absolutely excellent. Well, you've got a new three
Speaker 1: song EP out. One of the songs on it is
Speaker 1: called here. Yes, I know I'm complicating, comes out bad,
Speaker 1: dispose be a mess, but a lot of love and
Speaker 1: hard Sometimes I just can't start. Sometimes I just can't start. Well,
Speaker 1: I never had a man, I never had a plan.
Speaker 1: All I have is back too, And why I think
Speaker 1: I am and I am a little less and you
Speaker 1: are a little more. And I've never really seen my
Speaker 1: life and quite this light before. But if you ever coming, no,
Speaker 1: I will be here. And if you ever want me, no,
Speaker 1: I will be here. And if you ever need me,
Speaker 1: you know I will be here. I know what you
Speaker 1: need and no you need from me in to be
Speaker 1: quite place. Can you tell me about that song? I
Speaker 1: really like it. Yes, it's that's that's the paradox is
Speaker 1: that Um, you know, there was a relationship I would
Speaker 1: I would have really loved to maintain, but I couldn't
Speaker 1: live in l A anymore for many, many reasons, and
Speaker 1: creatively financially. You know, my father Um passed away and
Speaker 1: he helped build a lot of Hollywood. I mean, he
Speaker 1: put neon signs on the top of the Hollywood Rosevelt
Speaker 1: Hotel and several landmarks, and it's it's kind of I've
Speaker 1: got to get over really being there, but I don't
Speaker 1: want to live there anymore. It's it looks more like
Speaker 1: New York than Hollywood now. And moving out of the
Speaker 1: city was a drag because I had to forfeit some
Speaker 1: time with somebody I really wanted to spend time with UM.
Speaker 1: And the only message that I can say is that
Speaker 1: you know, whenever you want, I'll be here. That's all.
Speaker 1: I'll just be here. And I've never felt like that
Speaker 1: about a relationship in my life. It's a very unconditional thing.
Speaker 1: And I guess that means that maybe finally I'm maybe maturing,
Speaker 1: although I never maturing and growing up or two different things,
Speaker 1: but that was that was what I meant. And I mean,
Speaker 1: it's like you know if you ever want me, I'll
Speaker 1: be here. And I'm no conditions, no rubles, no nothing.
Speaker 1: But if you ever need me, I will never be
Speaker 1: away from you. And I've that's more than uh most
Speaker 1: married people say each other, you know, or even do.
Speaker 1: So I was pretty happy making that statement. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not happy, but I mean just satisfied, you know,
Speaker 1: fulfilled making that statement, just being able to say that,
Speaker 1: no matter what you do on your own time, I
Speaker 1: just don't care. But if ever you need me, I
Speaker 1: will be here. That's a beautiful sentiment. So what do
Speaker 1: you do? You know, we were talking earlier about emotions.
Speaker 1: You know, we all get down or feel sad. What
Speaker 1: are the things that you do to find comfort when
Speaker 1: when you're feeling that way? Pick up my gets a yea, yep,
Speaker 1: that's what I do. And and uh and that's it.
Speaker 1: That's everybody perceives me. Is this sad tragic person? And
Speaker 1: I'm not. But if because if the weather is good,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be out playing with my horse, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be out painting. I'm gonna be out you know, pounding
Speaker 1: tin or or you know, sculpting or something. Um and
Speaker 1: and it's a drag too, because the water is almost
Speaker 1: always great here, but it's not. But if the first thing,
Speaker 1: if I if I'm sad about anything, and and that
Speaker 1: is a very human thing, it's normal. I Um, I
Speaker 1: picked my guitar and I write a song because that's
Speaker 1: that's soothing and and it's it's it's it's channeling in
Speaker 1: a productive way, you know. I just I've been talking
Speaker 1: about it for years, but I finally wrote a Christmas
Speaker 1: song and I posted it for my dad. Um and uh,
Speaker 1: I was really happy to do that, you know, because
Speaker 1: because it's I've never done it. I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: do it, always wanted to do a Christmas song and
Speaker 1: find we did that. So it's just it's just a therapy.
Speaker 1: That's why music therapy so essential. Music and dance therapy
Speaker 1: is absolutely essential, and it's therapeutic for me, you know,
Speaker 1: it really is. But I'm not sad all the time.
Speaker 1: It's just that's where that's when I need to make music.
Speaker 1: That's when I need to play. And it's been difficult
Speaker 1: because in the Concrete Blond days, especially when we did
Speaker 1: the blood Letting album, Oh my God, to go out
Speaker 1: and play that every night, I'm a bit of a
Speaker 1: method actor when it comes to performance. I don't believe
Speaker 1: in faking it um and I can't just sit there
Speaker 1: and strum away, you know. It's it's tough for me.
Speaker 1: Touring is tough for me. It's always been tough. But
Speaker 1: to go out and play that record for a year, Jesus,
Speaker 1: I was suicidal. I mean it was just tough, you know,
Speaker 1: to relive all that stuff every night was really difficult.
Speaker 1: It was it was just I was just crying all
Speaker 1: the time, you know. But I can't fake it. I
Speaker 1: just can't. I either have to feel at all. And
Speaker 1: people know the difference, you know, they know the difference.
Speaker 1: You know. If I go out and clock it in,
Speaker 1: I'll be called on it and uh and rightfully. So
Speaker 1: you know, if I can't get out there and give
Speaker 1: a d everything, you know, it's not you know, they
Speaker 1: said something about Marlon Brando that when he wasn't acting,
Speaker 1: you should have been kept in a cage um and
Speaker 1: that's and that's probably that probably applies to me as well,
Speaker 1: a desert cage at this point. Yeah, but it's it's
Speaker 1: it's all right. So you were just talking about blood letting,
Speaker 1: and there's a you know the song that you're probably
Speaker 1: best known for his Joey on that on that record,
Speaker 1: and I've always related with that song. I've related to
Speaker 1: it as a recovering drug addict and alcoholics as I
Speaker 1: related to it as the Joey in that song. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of speculation about who that song
Speaker 1: was about, and you can feel free to defer this question.
Speaker 1: In my book, Mark, I read it Mark Morland, and
Speaker 1: then I went along to read that he you know,
Speaker 1: he passed When you wrote Joey, was it before or
Speaker 1: after he passed? Okay, so that song is even more tragic.
Speaker 1: What a great time we had or something like that
Speaker 1: was the was the final line something to that extent,
Speaker 1: looking back on your time together? Yeah, so does that song?
Speaker 1: Is that song gotten harder for you to play after
Speaker 1: he passed? Much easier? Okay? What is the lesson in
Speaker 1: your life that you think is taking you the longest
Speaker 1: to learn? That it could end any minute. I just
Speaker 1: lost a very dear friend, Octavio Hernandez Diaz, who was
Speaker 1: a major, major, major journalist in Mexico music journalists, but
Speaker 1: more than that, he was a very dear friend and
Speaker 1: passionate about life and a brilliant writer and his wife
Speaker 1: was also a very dear friend of mine. And how
Speaker 1: this um came very strange. What happened is a rastaba.
Speaker 1: She's a brilliant jeweler. It just doesn't have a bad
Speaker 1: bone in her body. The woman is a saint and
Speaker 1: she was struck by paralysis and nobody knows why. And
Speaker 1: so Octavio was putting on all these amazing gigs in
Speaker 1: Tijuana with all these major major bands, and he had
Speaker 1: he had written me saying, UM, can you send this
Speaker 1: can you help out case? She said? And I said,
Speaker 1: of course, of course, And I drove around and finally
Speaker 1: found a Western Union and sent some money down to
Speaker 1: San Cathedral Um where I needed to for him. And
Speaker 1: I wonder why you didn't pick it up? And it
Speaker 1: just it didn't picked up and get picked up. And
Speaker 1: you know, Octavio just stopped breathing and died out of
Speaker 1: nowhere one day, and it just ripped all of us apart.
Speaker 1: And uh Rosalba is a typical thing, apologized that he
Speaker 1: didn't pick the money up. My god, you know, that's
Speaker 1: the typical of her, you know, but that came out
Speaker 1: of nowhere, and the carnage I've seen on this highway.
Speaker 1: Highways sixty two got to be one of the most
Speaker 1: dangerous highways in the world. And um, what I've seen
Speaker 1: on this highway is that somebody went to work one
Speaker 1: day got slammed off his motorcycle. I I just don't
Speaker 1: want to get too deep into that because I'm not
Speaker 1: That's that's where the control comes in. I don't want
Speaker 1: to upset myself. I've seen it. I was there. It's cool.
Speaker 1: It just happens all the time, every day, all the
Speaker 1: time out here. And um, and you know, gone through
Speaker 1: people's stuff when they've passed away, when there were no
Speaker 1: provisions made. I mean, you know, I've done it two
Speaker 1: or three times with different people, and that every minute
Speaker 1: is your last minute and if you don't appreciate it
Speaker 1: and treat it right, you don't deserve it. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: such a powerful statement and so hard for so many
Speaker 1: or it's so hard to to know that intellectually, or
Speaker 1: it's easy to know that intellectually, and it's a lot
Speaker 1: harder to really take that in and learn to appreciate
Speaker 1: every moment. I know that I wrestle with that. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: it's easy to you know, you would let the past
Speaker 1: be the past. The only thing is the present. I
Speaker 1: mean even on a physics level, you know, the only
Speaker 1: thing is the present. You know, there is no future,
Speaker 1: there is no past. There's only now, and all these
Speaker 1: little moments make our lives, and every little moment is important,
Speaker 1: and that's it is. It is difficult to digest, and
Speaker 1: I think that calls for a certain amount of experience
Speaker 1: or a certain amount of There are people who know that,
Speaker 1: you know, people who send their sons and husband's away
Speaker 1: and wives a way to war know that, um, And
Speaker 1: the things that you remember always the little things. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're laying or dying, you can remember the little things,
Speaker 1: not the big things that they call accomplishments in in
Speaker 1: in this time that we live in and what we're
Speaker 1: encouraged to do. I was talking to somebody who really
Speaker 1: got sick um the other day. And he's going and
Speaker 1: you know, just got a promotion and has a huge
Speaker 1: job and and just a huge responsibility and certain just
Speaker 1: all of a sudden is sick. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I was joking around. And when you're joking around, I'm like,
Speaker 1: Who's who's racing faster to death? You were me let's go,
Speaker 1: let's go, let's the compet accomplish. Just make more money.
Speaker 1: Let's make more money. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna die first? It's a race? And uh and
Speaker 1: that's pretty much what it is, you know. And and
Speaker 1: and to slow down literally means to slow down time.
Speaker 1: You know. Um, the thing that the thing that has
Speaker 1: struck me because I like to be out for a
Speaker 1: week out of the month, but you have to work
Speaker 1: when you're touring, you have to work three months in advance.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, I'm I know what I'm doing
Speaker 1: in February, and I used to get tremendous anxiety over that, like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, say, oh chee, February. What am I
Speaker 1: gonna do? Who am I going to get to watch
Speaker 1: the horse? Where am I gonna do? And then I'm
Speaker 1: just like whatever, you know, I'm not gonna worry about
Speaker 1: February if I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Speaker 1: through today, and it's up to God whether I make
Speaker 1: it through today, not me. So I've learned to manage
Speaker 1: that anxiety. But I see that whether people are planning weddings,
Speaker 1: whether they're planning vacations, but they're planning, planning, planning, And
Speaker 1: I think John Lennon ripped off the Dali Lama when
Speaker 1: he said life is what happens when you're making other plans. Well,
Speaker 1: it is, you know. And uh And I've learned to
Speaker 1: just kick back and just go today. We'll take care
Speaker 1: of itself. And I'm just going to enjoy half an hour.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can wake up in a hotel and
Speaker 1: and check out time is eleven, and if I have
Speaker 1: twenty minutes to sit there by myself, I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is going to be the best twenty minutes ever, my
Speaker 1: favorite piece of time. And it is, you know, I can.
Speaker 1: I can get more in five minutes. I can get
Speaker 1: more out of it than a lot of people can.
Speaker 1: And that's one of the reasons I did move out.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, the reason I did move
Speaker 1: out of l A was because I found most of
Speaker 1: my quality time sitting in traffic. And I and I
Speaker 1: realized that God did not invent me to sit in
Speaker 1: traffic all day, you know, And this is just not right.
Speaker 1: This isn't this isn't good, this isn't real life. If
Speaker 1: I'm gonna if I'm going to point A and point B.
Speaker 1: I want to get from point A to point B.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to sit there in the
Speaker 1: in the twilight zone of whatever. And and it just
Speaker 1: it just wasn't normal to me. It wasn't right, it
Speaker 1: wasn't holistic. And I have to leave, and to leave
Speaker 1: one's hometown, it depends on where you're from. But I
Speaker 1: do love Hollywood very much, and so it's not that
Speaker 1: far away, but it's not the same, and it's still
Speaker 1: too much traffic. You know. I just can't deal with it.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm sitting here waste of my time.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're supposed to spend a thirty of your
Speaker 1: life sleep in any way, you know, And I'm grateful
Speaker 1: if I can do that, because leaping is pretty much
Speaker 1: A friend of mine said back in the nineties, sleep
Speaker 1: will be the new sex of the new millennium. You'll
Speaker 1: be lucky if you get any that's awesome. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know he was right, And uh, and I got to say,
Speaker 1: that's just the priority. You know. I'm up at five,
Speaker 1: and I try to be in bed by ten. If
Speaker 1: I wake up at three, that's cool, which I usually do.
Speaker 1: And if I want to go back to sleep for
Speaker 1: an hour. That's cool. But I feel like I'm fortunate
Speaker 1: enough to pay attention to my body's rhythms, and I
Speaker 1: don't think that we have that luxury anymore in this
Speaker 1: we're in the culture that we're in. A lot of
Speaker 1: people do not, that is for sure. I don't certainly
Speaker 1: at points. Yeah, yeah, Well, Jeannette, thanks so much for
Speaker 1: taking the time. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I I have a big fan of your music, So
Speaker 1: thank you for all that. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much, and good luck with everything. Thanks,
Speaker 1: take care, bye bye. Yeah. You can learn more about
Speaker 1: Johnette Napolitano and this podcast and find links to the
Speaker 1: songs that are featured in this episode at one you
Speaker 1: feed dot net slash John Nett