WEBVTT - Episode 1: The Warrior 0:00:15.356 --> 0:00:22.596 Pushkin. Hey, it's Jake. I hope you enjoyed our season 0:00:22.796 --> 0:00:26.356 The Truth About Sarah. We'll be having a live event 0:00:26.596 --> 0:00:29.876 later this year. It's going to be a conversation between 0:00:29.996 --> 0:00:33.876 me and my co host Jess McHugh, and we want 0:00:33.876 --> 0:00:37.396 to hear from you too. What questions do you have 0:00:37.556 --> 0:00:41.516 for us about this season? Send your questions to deep 0:00:41.636 --> 0:00:45.636 Cover at Pushkin dot fm. That's deep Cover All one 0:00:45.716 --> 0:00:49.836 word at Pushkin dot fm and stay tuned for more 0:00:49.876 --> 0:00:51.356 details on this event. 0:00:53.916 --> 0:00:57.716 Hey, I am just recording here is it in the 0:00:57.796 --> 0:01:00.836 car outside your English department? And I just got this 0:01:00.916 --> 0:01:05.996 letter which was sent to me by Sarah Kavanaugh. 0:01:07.516 --> 0:01:13.516 Okay, October twelve, twenty twenty four. Dear Jake, thank you 0:01:13.556 --> 0:01:16.556 for sending me the articles and book that you've written. 0:01:16.996 --> 0:01:20.596 You have a distinct style when imposing questions that really 0:01:21.156 --> 0:01:23.876 makes one think about the messages between the lines. 0:01:24.476 --> 0:01:27.196 Jess and I have spoken twice and emailed several times 0:01:27.236 --> 0:01:31.556 to talk about my actions and the consequences. It is 0:01:31.596 --> 0:01:36.036 important to me that you know I know and knew 0:01:36.156 --> 0:01:39.156 several months before my arrest what I was doing was wrong. 0:01:39.636 --> 0:01:42.196 I could not have imagined the laws I was breaking, 0:01:42.236 --> 0:01:46.476 but know now that I was always guilty. What is 0:01:46.516 --> 0:01:49.836 your opinion about my crime? I asked this, because no 0:01:49.916 --> 0:01:53.276 matter who we are, we bring biases, and I'd like 0:01:53.356 --> 0:01:57.316 to know what you are bringing to the conversation. Also, 0:01:57.356 --> 0:01:59.996 I have not always thought about others before myself, and 0:02:00.036 --> 0:02:03.276 will always be deliberately sensitive to other people for the 0:02:03.276 --> 0:02:05.876 rest of my life. I'm looking forward to meeting you, 0:02:06.316 --> 0:02:18.916 even if it's virtually Sincerely, Sarah. 0:02:13.676 --> 0:02:16.716 This letter that I just read you. It's written on 0:02:16.876 --> 0:02:20.356 lined paper, the kind I used in grade school, and 0:02:20.396 --> 0:02:24.196 the penmanship is flawless. When I read it for the 0:02:24.196 --> 0:02:27.756 first time, I was in my car outside my classroom 0:02:27.916 --> 0:02:32.036 at the university where I teach, and I found myself 0:02:32.596 --> 0:02:38.116 just sitting there reading and rereading this letter. What is 0:02:38.156 --> 0:02:39.756 your opinion about my crime? 0:02:39.956 --> 0:02:40.516 She asked. 0:02:41.356 --> 0:02:44.356 Now that was interesting to me. It was almost like, 0:02:44.836 --> 0:02:48.476 right from the jump, this woman, Sarah Kavanaugh, had flipped 0:02:48.476 --> 0:02:53.316 the script like she was interviewing me, and then there 0:02:53.396 --> 0:02:56.396 was this line, I'd like to know what you were 0:02:56.396 --> 0:03:00.436 bringing to the conversation. Funny because we weren't even having 0:03:00.436 --> 0:03:06.956 a conversation yet. But looking back, I understand now that 0:03:07.036 --> 0:03:12.356 the conversation had already started and she was already sussing 0:03:12.396 --> 0:03:17.956 me out, tuning in to me and Sarah. She's really 0:03:18.356 --> 0:03:26.316 really good at that. I know that now. Months before 0:03:26.396 --> 0:03:28.916 I got that letter, I got a call from my 0:03:29.076 --> 0:03:33.596 friend Jess McHugh. She's my co host this season. Jess 0:03:33.676 --> 0:03:36.516 is a journalist and an author. In fact, you may 0:03:36.556 --> 0:03:40.276 have noticed in Sarah's letter she makes a reference to Jess, 0:03:40.996 --> 0:03:44.436 and that's because Jess is the one who found this story. 0:03:47.276 --> 0:03:49.556 I first heard about Sarah when I read a few 0:03:49.636 --> 0:03:53.876 articles about her online, just snippets, really, But what I 0:03:53.876 --> 0:03:58.116 read about her was so bizarre, so unusual, I had 0:03:58.116 --> 0:04:02.516 a million questions, so I tracked her down. We started 0:04:02.516 --> 0:04:06.556 sending emails, talking on the phone, getting to know each other, 0:04:07.876 --> 0:04:10.636 and right from the start she felt familiar to me. 0:04:11.556 --> 0:04:14.516 We have a few things in common. Actually we're about 0:04:14.516 --> 0:04:17.516 the same age, both from small towns in New England. 0:04:18.516 --> 0:04:21.236 But also, I've become a bit of an expert on 0:04:21.276 --> 0:04:25.436 women like her. I've spent years digging into historical research, 0:04:25.876 --> 0:04:29.876 reviewing court documents, and immersing myself in the world of 0:04:29.916 --> 0:04:34.236 women who managed to live multiple lives. Found so much 0:04:34.316 --> 0:04:39.436 that I'm now writing a book about it all. So yeah, 0:04:39.796 --> 0:04:43.676 Sarah felt familiar to me, but in the most unsettling way. 0:04:44.796 --> 0:04:47.276 I clearly remember one of the first things I wrote 0:04:47.276 --> 0:04:51.676 to her after reading those headlines. I told her, I 0:04:51.716 --> 0:04:54.156 suspect that there is so much more to your story. 0:04:55.636 --> 0:04:58.636 I had no way of knowing just how true that 0:04:58.676 --> 0:04:59.476 would turn out to be. 0:05:04.756 --> 0:05:07.356 There's so much that we've learned since we first started 0:05:07.396 --> 0:05:11.796 talking to Sarah jelous that she's told us, and we've 0:05:11.836 --> 0:05:15.956 spent the last eight months trying to figure out how 0:05:16.036 --> 0:05:20.436 much of her story is true and what, if anything, 0:05:20.796 --> 0:05:25.636 we could trust, because this story is all about trust. 0:05:26.796 --> 0:05:30.476 It's about what it means to know someone or think 0:05:30.516 --> 0:05:35.756 you know someone, and what happens when reality itself seems 0:05:35.796 --> 0:05:57.276 to dissolve. I'm Jake Colbern and I'm Jess McHugh and 0:05:57.356 --> 0:06:16.476 this is deep Cover, Season six, The Truth About Sarah, 0:06:16.956 --> 0:06:19.076 Episode one, The Warrior. 0:06:27.436 --> 0:06:29.876 One of the first people we interviewed for this story 0:06:30.156 --> 0:06:34.276 was Catherine Dexter. She goes by des Des initially met 0:06:34.316 --> 0:06:37.516 Sarah Cavanaugh in the mountains in Montana at a retreat 0:06:37.516 --> 0:06:38.876 for veterans. 0:06:39.556 --> 0:06:40.956 You got to see the sunrise and you got to 0:06:40.956 --> 0:06:45.196 see mountains and the air was like amazing, and crisped 0:06:45.196 --> 0:06:46.716 and smelled a little bit like a campfire. 0:06:47.276 --> 0:06:48.516 So you woke up every. 0:06:48.316 --> 0:06:50.876 Single morning and you saw these mountains and they were beautiful, 0:06:50.916 --> 0:06:52.676 and you were just like awestruck because you were like, 0:06:52.676 --> 0:06:55.436 why don't I live here? And that's where you were 0:06:55.516 --> 0:06:57.276 drinking your coffee at five am. 0:06:57.916 --> 0:07:00.996 Dex had served in the Marines as military police in 0:07:01.076 --> 0:07:05.236 Japan a couple other bases. When she got out, she 0:07:05.316 --> 0:07:06.996 felt a bit lost. 0:07:08.436 --> 0:07:10.636 So I had kind of kind of steered away from 0:07:10.636 --> 0:07:14.236 the veteran community when I got out, and I was 0:07:14.396 --> 0:07:16.276 really really isolated. So that was one of the big 0:07:16.276 --> 0:07:18.756 things that I struggled with because I had dealt with 0:07:18.796 --> 0:07:20.036 a lot of life transitions. 0:07:20.956 --> 0:07:24.076 The retreat was organized by a nonprofit called Patrol Base 0:07:24.196 --> 0:07:29.236 Abate also known as pb Abate. Founder started the organization 0:07:29.556 --> 0:07:32.436 because he was concerned about the mental health of veterans 0:07:32.956 --> 0:07:37.036 and their difficulties readjusting to civilian life, and this was 0:07:37.116 --> 0:07:40.956 kind of the exact crossroads Decks was at. So she 0:07:40.996 --> 0:07:43.236 applied to go on one of their all expense paid 0:07:43.276 --> 0:07:46.716 trips to Montana, and that's how she ended up drinking 0:07:46.716 --> 0:07:50.036 her coffee in Big Sky Country with all these other 0:07:50.156 --> 0:07:54.596 vets and meeting Sarah what were your. 0:07:54.516 --> 0:07:57.196 First impressions of her At the time, I liked her. 0:07:57.556 --> 0:07:58.236 I liked her a lot. 0:07:58.476 --> 0:07:59.956 It's all in the context of like what I know 0:07:59.996 --> 0:08:04.556 about her now, But back then I liked her because 0:08:04.596 --> 0:08:07.916 she put out, because she worked really hard, and she 0:08:08.196 --> 0:08:12.036 was really homeble, and she didn't walk around saying, oh, 0:08:12.116 --> 0:08:14.476 I'm a woman and I was in combat. She was 0:08:14.556 --> 0:08:19.596 injured and everybody knew it, but she was still running. 0:08:21.796 --> 0:08:24.796 Part of the ethos of this retreat was you didn't 0:08:24.836 --> 0:08:28.876 brag about the past, focused on now, and you exercised 0:08:28.996 --> 0:08:31.876 a lot. The whole point of this retreat was actually 0:08:31.916 --> 0:08:36.116 strength building. The Vets built a platform that became their 0:08:36.156 --> 0:08:41.876 outdoor gym. They lifted weights here, did squats, deadlifts, power cleans, 0:08:42.876 --> 0:08:46.876 and apparently they were also carrying giant slabs of rock 0:08:47.236 --> 0:08:47.876 up a mountain. 0:08:49.596 --> 0:08:55.876 Come on, oh shit, leyam push that woman. 0:08:55.996 --> 0:09:00.156 You can hear saying push it. That's Sarah Kavanaugh. We 0:09:00.236 --> 0:09:03.676 found this video of her on YouTube from this same retreat. 0:09:04.516 --> 0:09:07.036 She's in a sweaty gray tank top, has on these 0:09:07.076 --> 0:09:11.116 mirrored sunglasses and leather work woman's gloves. She has blonde 0:09:11.156 --> 0:09:19.116 hair and a runners build, slim and athletics and that 0:09:19.316 --> 0:09:23.276 soft inspirational music that's in there because this is a 0:09:23.276 --> 0:09:27.796 promotional video for Patrol Base of Bate, And in that 0:09:27.916 --> 0:09:31.716 video we see Sarah giving an interview with the wild 0:09:31.836 --> 0:09:33.876 Mountains of Montana in the background. 0:09:34.276 --> 0:09:39.116 Because there's such an open discussion about what's really happening 0:09:39.156 --> 0:09:41.756 to veterans, right, you know, what are we going through? 0:09:42.076 --> 0:09:45.396 How can we, you know, refit and refresh the skills 0:09:45.436 --> 0:09:47.356 we have and the skills we learned while we were 0:09:47.356 --> 0:09:49.796 serving and apply them to our lives and make our 0:09:49.836 --> 0:09:52.476 lives better now. I think I was expecting just to 0:09:52.516 --> 0:09:55.156 come together and have some fun and work out, but 0:09:55.236 --> 0:09:56.316 it was so much more than that. 0:09:57.716 --> 0:10:00.716 The person who started these retreats was concerned about all 0:10:00.756 --> 0:10:03.756 the challenges that vet's face as they transitioned back to 0:10:03.796 --> 0:10:07.116 civilian life, and he wanted this time in the woods 0:10:07.236 --> 0:10:09.996 to be healing transfer me even. 0:10:10.596 --> 0:10:13.356 And to the veterans who are coming out here, be 0:10:13.476 --> 0:10:16.396 ready to talk and not talk out loud. But maybe 0:10:16.396 --> 0:10:17.996 you need to talk to yourself, Maybe you need to 0:10:18.036 --> 0:10:20.516 hear what other people are saying and process that and 0:10:20.756 --> 0:10:23.436 come back to yourself and work through some things. 0:10:23.476 --> 0:10:24.836 And I think that's happening here. 0:10:26.156 --> 0:10:26.996 It definitely is. 0:10:27.076 --> 0:10:30.396 But I think if you can at least be prepared 0:10:30.436 --> 0:10:34.196 to do the work, I think you'll. 0:10:34.036 --> 0:10:40.076 Get a lot out of it. Beck says that on 0:10:40.116 --> 0:10:43.516 this retreat there were just a few female vets. It 0:10:43.556 --> 0:10:48.156 was her, Sarah, and another former marine named Natalie. The 0:10:48.236 --> 0:10:49.476 three of them worked out together. 0:10:50.476 --> 0:10:53.556 Dex has this way of like she calls it, gassing 0:10:53.596 --> 0:10:57.596 you up, of like being your biggest cheerleader, and so 0:10:57.636 --> 0:10:59.596 she'll be like, man, look at those guns. 0:10:59.676 --> 0:11:00.156 Natalie. 0:11:00.956 --> 0:11:04.156 That's Natalie Markham. She was a clarinetist in the Marine 0:11:04.156 --> 0:11:08.396 Corps band, a self described band nerd. At the time 0:11:08.436 --> 0:11:12.076 of the retreat, Natalie was struggling. She owned a CrossFit 0:11:12.156 --> 0:11:15.356 gym that had been hit hard during the pandemic and 0:11:15.396 --> 0:11:18.116 she was worried that it might go bust. So for 0:11:18.196 --> 0:11:21.996 her to be here in Montana doing something she loved 0:11:22.276 --> 0:11:25.636 under the open sky with new friends, it was like 0:11:25.676 --> 0:11:29.116 she could breathe. She asked someone to take a picture 0:11:29.156 --> 0:11:32.476 of her with Dex and Sarah to commemorate the moment. 0:11:34.436 --> 0:11:39.756 The three of us are lined up and being female 0:11:39.756 --> 0:11:42.716 and in the military, like do you stand tough? 0:11:42.796 --> 0:11:43.916 Do you stand feminine? 0:11:43.956 --> 0:11:46.036 And then you know we're in a strength retreat, so 0:11:46.396 --> 0:11:48.276 we should take one that looks kind of cute, but 0:11:48.316 --> 0:11:51.076 then we should take one that looks kind of tough, 0:11:51.116 --> 0:11:54.676 and so will flex, and Dex is always one to 0:11:54.716 --> 0:11:56.596 be like, oh, we have to flex. 0:11:57.756 --> 0:11:59.956 In the picture, the three of them are standing against 0:11:59.956 --> 0:12:04.716 the backdrop of the mountains, all flexing, biceps and triceps bulging. 0:12:05.276 --> 0:12:09.636 Natalie and Sarah are smiling, Dex is all business, serious 0:12:09.676 --> 0:12:13.676 as can be, and looking at the photo, I could 0:12:13.756 --> 0:12:17.236 kind of feel their energy. I'd never guess they just met. 0:12:17.796 --> 0:12:21.556 They look like they could be sisters, joking, competing, giving 0:12:21.596 --> 0:12:26.116 each other shit, like the Three Musketeers or something. Dex 0:12:26.156 --> 0:12:29.556 told us that this kind of camaraderie is not a given. 0:12:30.396 --> 0:12:34.716 When you're a woman in the military, the competition among 0:12:34.716 --> 0:12:36.716 other women is really intense. A lot of the time. 0:12:36.956 --> 0:12:38.956 You're all trying to be the best, not just be 0:12:38.996 --> 0:12:40.916 the best woman, but you're trying to be the best 0:12:41.036 --> 0:12:42.796 so that the men think you're the best, because that's 0:12:42.836 --> 0:12:46.396 what matters. And you know, men are the ones who 0:12:46.436 --> 0:12:48.796 are always in charge of you. It's their opinion that 0:12:48.836 --> 0:12:52.796 gets you promoted. So if you're falling short, I mean, 0:12:52.836 --> 0:12:54.796 you're already doing one thing wrong because you're a woman, 0:12:55.036 --> 0:12:56.636 so it's like you can't do two things wrong. 0:12:57.836 --> 0:13:02.116 Dex was especially impressed with Sarah. She was somehow doing 0:13:02.196 --> 0:13:06.596 all these really intense workouts while also dealing with what 0:13:06.796 --> 0:13:08.916 seemed like a pretty serious leg in. 0:13:10.156 --> 0:13:13.556 She also was taking injections of some kind, some type 0:13:13.556 --> 0:13:18.156 of medication for her hip, and she was like telling us, like, 0:13:18.196 --> 0:13:21.236 if she doesn't, you know, put this shot in her hip, 0:13:21.476 --> 0:13:22.796 like her leg goes numb. 0:13:23.756 --> 0:13:27.276 Because Sarah was so modest, because she didn't boast or 0:13:27.316 --> 0:13:30.716 advertise about who she was and what she'd done, there 0:13:30.796 --> 0:13:34.956 was an air of mystery about her. Sarah said she 0:13:35.036 --> 0:13:39.036 was a crypto linguist. She'd served in both Iraq and Afghanistan. 0:13:39.756 --> 0:13:42.596 She came from a military family. Her brother had been 0:13:42.596 --> 0:13:46.196 a marine too. He was killed in combat and buried 0:13:46.236 --> 0:13:51.356 at Arlington Cemetery. In private moments, Sarah began to open 0:13:51.436 --> 0:13:52.716 up two decks. 0:13:53.476 --> 0:13:57.676 She told me that she had been in a convoy 0:13:57.996 --> 0:14:00.236 and her vehicle was hit by nid you know, the 0:14:00.316 --> 0:14:02.636 humby blew up the door from the humphy like crushed 0:14:02.676 --> 0:14:05.956 her hip, and somehow she was able to like get 0:14:05.996 --> 0:14:06.756 out of the humby. 0:14:07.596 --> 0:14:10.796 As Sarah told it, her hip never healed properly from 0:14:10.836 --> 0:14:15.236 the knee down. Her leg was basically dying. But that's 0:14:15.276 --> 0:14:15.676 not all. 0:14:16.436 --> 0:14:18.116 Will sitting in the tent, she's about to leave or 0:14:18.116 --> 0:14:24.156 we're talking, and she tells me that, like, she just 0:14:24.196 --> 0:14:29.756 got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. And I like 0:14:29.836 --> 0:14:32.956 remembered this because she cried because I got up to 0:14:32.996 --> 0:14:33.636 give her a hug. 0:14:37.716 --> 0:14:42.076 So just a recap. Here's this woman, Sarah, who at 0:14:42.076 --> 0:14:45.316 the time was just thirty years old, already a decorated 0:14:45.316 --> 0:14:51.556 war veteran, strong, modest, whietly brave, sprinting down these mountain 0:14:51.596 --> 0:14:55.836 trails and giving herself these injections to stem the pain. 0:14:57.076 --> 0:14:59.916 And on top of it all, she also has stage 0:14:59.916 --> 0:15:04.196 four lung cancer. Dex had to coax it out of 0:15:04.236 --> 0:15:09.076 her because Sarah's story came out in dribs and drabs, 0:15:09.836 --> 0:15:14.196 and it got more tragic incrementally, like a kettle on 0:15:14.276 --> 0:15:19.196 a stove that heats up slowly until all of a 0:15:19.196 --> 0:15:40.116 sudden it starts to boil. So the retreat in Montana 0:15:40.396 --> 0:15:43.396 comes to an end, and the three Musketeers say goodbye 0:15:43.436 --> 0:15:46.716 to one another, but they stay in touch. And this, 0:15:46.916 --> 0:15:49.956 by the way, is exactly the goal of this program. 0:15:50.476 --> 0:15:54.396 Veterans forming real bonds that last long after the campfire 0:15:54.436 --> 0:15:59.276 goes out. A few months after the Montana Retreat, in 0:15:59.316 --> 0:16:02.436 December of twenty twenty one, Dex happened to be in 0:16:02.516 --> 0:16:08.476 Virginia visiting Arlington National Cemetery and suddenly Dex remembers that 0:16:08.556 --> 0:16:11.596 Sarah's brother was a Marine who was killed in action. 0:16:12.756 --> 0:16:15.476 So she sends Sarah a text and says she'd like 0:16:15.556 --> 0:16:19.876 to lay a wreath at his grave. Within minutes, Sarah 0:16:19.876 --> 0:16:24.036 texts back with a plot number. But when Dex gets 0:16:24.076 --> 0:16:27.916 to the grave, she notices that this marine he has 0:16:27.956 --> 0:16:31.116 a different last name than Sarah's, and when she looks 0:16:31.156 --> 0:16:34.196 up his obituary, she sees that they're not even the 0:16:34.236 --> 0:16:38.916 same race. When she sends Sarah a picture of the grave, though, 0:16:39.236 --> 0:16:42.076 Sarah confirms that yes, this is him. 0:16:44.036 --> 0:16:48.996 So I'm thinking, if he's not her actual physical brother, 0:16:50.676 --> 0:16:53.036 I don't think she mentioned ever having an adopted brother, 0:16:54.716 --> 0:16:58.516 And then I'm thinking maybe she just meant brother, like 0:16:58.596 --> 0:17:02.356 in the colloquial where all Marines were brothers typeway, and 0:17:02.396 --> 0:17:04.676 I was like, maybe that's it. 0:17:06.076 --> 0:17:09.516 You can hear Dex trying to make sense of this, 0:17:10.236 --> 0:17:12.956 but she said she didn't ask Sarah too many questions 0:17:12.996 --> 0:17:13.396 about it. 0:17:14.796 --> 0:17:16.996 That's kind of like if you had a friend that 0:17:17.036 --> 0:17:19.796 told you that she'd had a miscarriage, the very last 0:17:19.836 --> 0:17:21.396 thing that you're going to do to that friend while 0:17:21.436 --> 0:17:23.996 she's crying about losing a baby is ask heurage that 0:17:24.036 --> 0:17:27.316 actually happened. Like this is so insensitive. So I was 0:17:27.396 --> 0:17:29.636 not going to ask this woman these questions because I 0:17:29.636 --> 0:17:31.556 didn't want to be insensitive because we were friends. 0:17:34.596 --> 0:17:39.596 So Dex just didn't say anything. Besides, at this point, 0:17:40.156 --> 0:17:43.396 Sarah was fighting lung cancer and from time to time 0:17:43.556 --> 0:17:46.796 she'd mentioned to Dex that her medical bills were piling up. 0:17:47.316 --> 0:17:51.316 Now the VA wasn't covering everything, Dex wanted to help, 0:17:51.596 --> 0:17:55.076 even from far away. That's when she heard about this 0:17:55.196 --> 0:17:59.996 charity called Hunter seven. Hunter seven helps veterans who struggle 0:18:00.036 --> 0:18:04.316 to pay their medical bills. The reality is many veterans 0:18:04.396 --> 0:18:08.116 face huge gaps in the healthcare. The VA provides a 0:18:08.156 --> 0:18:13.036 long wait time denied claims, and charities like Hunter seven 0:18:13.076 --> 0:18:17.276 come in as a stopgap. So Dex tells Sarah she 0:18:17.316 --> 0:18:22.476 should apply for financial assistance. At first, Sarah seemed reluctant. 0:18:23.276 --> 0:18:26.396 Maybe she was just underwater with everything she had going on, 0:18:27.436 --> 0:18:30.676 so Dex offered to step in and submit an application 0:18:30.836 --> 0:18:32.556 for Sarah. 0:18:32.956 --> 0:18:34.596 I was like, this is what I would do for 0:18:34.676 --> 0:18:38.316 my friends, like especially a friend who's like struggling at 0:18:38.356 --> 0:18:41.356 this level. I was like, I understood really clearly, like 0:18:41.876 --> 0:18:44.236 having a million things going on and all of them 0:18:44.276 --> 0:18:47.596 feeling very intent. So I was like, let me help 0:18:47.636 --> 0:18:49.596 you out because I have a minute, and it's no 0:18:49.676 --> 0:18:51.476 skin off my back to send an email. 0:18:53.036 --> 0:18:56.276 She couldn't know this then, but this simple act of 0:18:56.396 --> 0:19:01.796 kindness would set something in motion, something that would forever 0:19:01.916 --> 0:19:12.876 alter the way Decks saw Sarah. 0:19:13.276 --> 0:19:19.836 Remember Natalie, the third Musketeer from the Montana Retreat, the clarinetist. Yeah, well, 0:19:20.156 --> 0:19:23.916 Natalie also stayed in touch with Sarah. In fact, right 0:19:23.916 --> 0:19:27.156 around the time that Dex was visiting the cemetery in Arlington, 0:19:27.796 --> 0:19:31.076 Natalie and Sarah were actually hanging out in person. A 0:19:31.116 --> 0:19:34.036 bunch of vets, including a few from the Montana Retreat, 0:19:34.556 --> 0:19:38.396 gathered at a CrossFit gym in California to have a 0:19:38.436 --> 0:19:43.156 little competition. Well not so little, even for Natalie. It 0:19:43.196 --> 0:19:43.716 was a lot. 0:19:44.476 --> 0:19:47.436 There was one workout every hour on the hour for 0:19:47.516 --> 0:19:51.316 eight hours. Just the grueling nature of eight hours worth 0:19:51.316 --> 0:19:54.276 of workouts is enough to make most people go yeah, no, 0:19:54.356 --> 0:19:55.196 I'm not doing that. 0:19:55.916 --> 0:20:01.236 Yeah, pretty insane. This was like an ultra marathon for weightlifters. 0:20:01.956 --> 0:20:06.476 They broke down into teams of two. Now, at this point, 0:20:06.836 --> 0:20:10.676 Natalie didn't know about Sarah's cancer her and this is 0:20:10.716 --> 0:20:14.316 because Sarah had never told her. She just confided this 0:20:14.396 --> 0:20:18.436 to Decks, which, as we've come to learn, is kind 0:20:18.436 --> 0:20:21.956 of how Sarah operated. She shared details about her life 0:20:22.236 --> 0:20:26.236 one on one in these small private moments, and so 0:20:26.316 --> 0:20:33.676 the secrets remained compartmentalized. Natalie was aware that Sarah had 0:20:33.756 --> 0:20:36.916 some issue with her leg, but that was about all. 0:20:37.796 --> 0:20:40.836 Then in the middle of the competition, during one of 0:20:40.876 --> 0:20:45.476 the breaks, they're all kind of just sitting around resting, Natalie, 0:20:45.596 --> 0:20:48.636 her teammate, Sarah, her teammate. 0:20:49.276 --> 0:20:51.916 All four of us are sitting on the floor together 0:20:52.676 --> 0:20:56.036 and Sarah says. 0:20:57.156 --> 0:20:59.196 That she's going to have to have her leg amputated. 0:21:00.596 --> 0:21:05.956 And I was blown away, Like, you are in the 0:21:06.036 --> 0:21:09.236 middle of doing an eight hour workout and you you 0:21:09.316 --> 0:21:13.276 have to have your leg amputated. 0:21:14.476 --> 0:21:16.796 It was absolutely unfathomable to me. 0:21:16.916 --> 0:21:21.556 But I distinctly remember her saying, if I'm gonna have 0:21:21.676 --> 0:21:25.196 to have my leg amputated, then I'm gonna make this bitch, 0:21:25.276 --> 0:21:28.996 give me every last ounce of what it's got to give. 0:21:30.916 --> 0:21:35.956 Natalie is looking at Sarah's leg and it's trembling, and 0:21:36.036 --> 0:21:38.836 she thinks to herself, you are like. 0:21:39.476 --> 0:21:42.876 A whole other level of badass ory than I have 0:21:42.956 --> 0:21:43.476 ever known. 0:21:44.596 --> 0:21:47.396 And the proof was Sarah's team then goes on to 0:21:47.556 --> 0:21:54.396 beat Natalie's team in the competition, and Natalie she's in awe. 0:21:54.676 --> 0:21:57.636 The two women went to another retreat together not long 0:21:57.676 --> 0:22:01.116 after this, and it seemed like Sarah's leg was in 0:22:01.196 --> 0:22:01.916 bad shape. 0:22:03.156 --> 0:22:07.556 We did one workout where Sarah was having a really 0:22:08.076 --> 0:22:12.076 hard time and like at the end of the workout, 0:22:12.436 --> 0:22:16.676 her leg was shaking so badly, and she's like, Natalie, 0:22:16.716 --> 0:22:17.716 will you please help me? 0:22:17.996 --> 0:22:19.436 Can you please help me? Stretch? 0:22:20.116 --> 0:22:23.196 I took her shaking leg and placed it up on 0:22:23.236 --> 0:22:26.476 my shoulder and am holding her quad in one hand 0:22:26.476 --> 0:22:29.196 and her foot up here and kind of leaning in 0:22:29.276 --> 0:22:32.356 and I'm talking her through, like breathe into the muscle, 0:22:32.516 --> 0:22:36.876 like take some breast exhale slowly, picture your leg relaxing, 0:22:36.996 --> 0:22:43.716 and just remember her like having this moment of her 0:22:43.956 --> 0:22:47.876 leg finally relaxing, and this is the leg that she's 0:22:47.916 --> 0:22:53.676 supposed to have amputated and feeling some sense of gratitude 0:22:53.676 --> 0:22:57.596 that I could help somebody in that situation to have 0:22:57.676 --> 0:22:58.636 some kind of relief. 0:23:01.436 --> 0:23:05.156 Looking back, Natalie still recalls the intensity of this moment 0:23:05.276 --> 0:23:09.476 with Sarah, the tenseness of her hamstring, the trend and 0:23:09.476 --> 0:23:13.836 her muscles, the pain on Sarah's face. It all seems 0:23:13.876 --> 0:23:20.756 so real. In the coming weeks, Natalie texted Sarah about 0:23:20.756 --> 0:23:24.276 the amputation to see if it had been scheduled, and 0:23:24.516 --> 0:23:28.916 Sarah eventually gave her a date, January twenty sixth. The 0:23:29.036 --> 0:23:32.436 date sticks in Natalie's mind. She keeps thinking about it 0:23:32.596 --> 0:23:36.596 as it draws closer, and then the night before the surgery, 0:23:37.356 --> 0:23:43.036 Natalie can't sleep. She just keeps thinking about Sarah. 0:23:41.756 --> 0:23:45.316 And like, I'm so genuinely worried about her that in 0:23:45.356 --> 0:23:46.796 the middle of the night, I wake up and I 0:23:46.876 --> 0:23:49.156 the first thing I think of is I must be 0:23:49.196 --> 0:23:52.196 waking up because I've got to pray for Sarah. 0:23:52.276 --> 0:23:55.036 I should text her and let her know that I'm praying. 0:23:55.076 --> 0:23:57.436 And so I text out my prayer to her and 0:23:57.476 --> 0:23:58.276 send it to her. 0:23:59.116 --> 0:24:01.356 I asked Natalie to read me that text. 0:24:02.636 --> 0:24:06.196 January twenty sixth, twenty twenty two. A prayer for you 0:24:06.276 --> 0:24:10.236 today is what I wrote, God, thank you for Sarah. 0:24:10.716 --> 0:24:16.996 Thank you for her intelligence, kindness, humor, bravery, courage, and 0:24:17.076 --> 0:24:20.276 service to the United States, and for her gift of friendship. 0:24:21.236 --> 0:24:23.436 I pray that you will give her and her family 0:24:23.956 --> 0:24:26.676 a deep sense of peace today, even as she is 0:24:26.756 --> 0:24:31.396 under anesthesia, though she already has such a deep sense 0:24:32.196 --> 0:24:35.996 of drive and determination, Pour into her an extra dose 0:24:36.116 --> 0:24:40.596 of perseverance and purpose. Heal her body Lord from this 0:24:40.916 --> 0:24:42.556 and all illness and disease. 0:24:44.596 --> 0:24:45.836 Did she write anything back? 0:24:48.236 --> 0:24:50.996 She wrote, thank you so much. I can't tell you 0:24:51.036 --> 0:24:51.956 what this means to me. 0:24:55.196 --> 0:24:59.236 The next day, Natalie shot Sarah another text to see 0:24:59.276 --> 0:25:04.516 how the surgery went, and Sarah explained that they had 0:25:04.556 --> 0:25:05.996 to call off the amputation. 0:25:06.916 --> 0:25:12.316 She said that when she was going into her surgery 0:25:12.436 --> 0:25:19.276 that her blood pressure had dropped and they couldn't They 0:25:19.276 --> 0:25:21.796 weren't able to perform the surgery because of that, and 0:25:21.796 --> 0:25:23.356 I remember thinking at the time. 0:25:23.236 --> 0:25:25.316 Like, that's really weird. You would think that if you're 0:25:25.356 --> 0:25:26.156 going to go have your. 0:25:26.116 --> 0:25:30.236 Leg cut off, that your blood pressure would be sky high. 0:25:30.676 --> 0:25:33.436 The next day, I was like trying to reach out 0:25:33.476 --> 0:25:36.316 to her, but thinking that she's still in the hospital 0:25:36.876 --> 0:25:38.716 and it's in the middle. 0:25:38.476 --> 0:25:40.516 Of me trying to get a hold of her. 0:25:41.076 --> 0:25:45.916 Then I receive a message from Tom through WhatsApp. 0:25:46.956 --> 0:25:51.276 That guy, she mentions Tom, that's Tom Schumann. He's the 0:25:51.316 --> 0:25:55.236 founder of Patrol Base ABATA, the nonprofit that organized those 0:25:55.236 --> 0:26:00.116 retreats up in Montana. Tom also knew Sarah, and now 0:26:00.396 --> 0:26:02.996 he was texting with an urgent message. 0:26:03.156 --> 0:26:07.116 And he's like, Hey, Sarah is not who she says 0:26:07.116 --> 0:26:07.476 she is. 0:26:09.316 --> 0:26:12.156