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Speaker 1: Remember when you like sneezed. Did you sneeze your cough

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Speaker 1: like right in my mouth that one time when you

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Speaker 1: were sick. I didn't cough.

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Speaker 2: I laughed and a little bit in my mouth. A

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Speaker 2: tiny piece of spit went into Stephanie's mouth. And it

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Speaker 2: was right before her wedding.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I conducted myself very well in

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Speaker 1: that moment. I wasn't like you did you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I could tell that you maybe wanted

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Speaker 2: to kill me, but you restrained yourself.

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Speaker 3: More and more Better, More and Better, got a little bit.

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Speaker 1: More better, more and more. Welcome to More Better, a

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Speaker 1: podcast where we stopped pretending to have it all together and.

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Speaker 2: Embraced the journey of becoming a little more better every day,

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Speaker 2: or at least trying to. That's most of a marrow,

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Speaker 2: and that's Stephanie vadris Hi.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back. First episode back for the new season. Yay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I cut my hair again? He did? I did? I

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Speaker 1: cut it again? That Bob on you. It's so good,

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Speaker 1: so much. You know. Here's how you know here. Here's

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. Social media it's awful. It can be

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Speaker 1: really great, but it can be really awful too, because

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Speaker 1: I was Fela butt coming on.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I really like my new hair. I

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Speaker 1: really am enjoying it. And someone coming, why do you

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Speaker 1: keep cutting your hair and then growing it back out?

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Speaker 1: Don't you realize that this look is really bad on you?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's that's how you know

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Speaker 1: that you like your own haircut, because I was like

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Speaker 1: I don't care what this or something like yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then I immediately blocked them, right, but like, I really

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Speaker 1: like my haircut. I really I'm enjoying this.

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Speaker 2: When did we lose the If you have nothing nice

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Speaker 2: to say, don't say anything at all.

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Speaker 1: Oh assume we don't have to stand in front of

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Speaker 1: someone and like be a peron, you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: no one's gonna come up to you and stand there

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Speaker 1: and be like, why did you cut your hair again?

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look good, you know, Like because I would

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Speaker 1: be like, what's fucking wrong with you? What the hell

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Speaker 1: is wrong with you? Just keep your opinions to yourself. Also,

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Speaker 1: I don't give a shit what you think about my hair.

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Speaker 1: Like they would have to deal with somebody stepping up

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Speaker 1: to them, stepping up? Oh my god, do the kids.

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Speaker 1: I still know that no step, step up, like and

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Speaker 1: what you got. One time on the bus when I

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Speaker 1: was little, there was a new girl on the bus.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think I was like in sixth grade.

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Speaker 1: There was a new girl on the bus and I

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Speaker 1: didn't have glasses yet, so I was like squinting and

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out like her face and like whether

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Speaker 1: or not I could like come up walk up to

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Speaker 1: her and be like, Hi, do you wanna be friends?

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Speaker 1: And she was from a distinctly different let's say she

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Speaker 1: was tough and she came up to me on the

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Speaker 1: bus and was like, why do you keep mad dogging me?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to step up? And I was like

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Speaker 1: I don't know what either one of those things mean.

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Speaker 1: Like in my mind, I was like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know me We're gonna hang out? What is that?

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Speaker 1: Anyway? How have you been? What's been going on? Give

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Speaker 1: me a little update?

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Speaker 2: Download what has been going on? I have summered really

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Speaker 2: hard this year and it was great and it was

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Speaker 2: also exhausting, but it was great. It was the first

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Speaker 2: summer that I'm out of the toddler years officially, and

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Speaker 2: it was the first summer where I packed them so

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Speaker 2: quickly for our trips because I just had to take

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Speaker 2: a lot less shit.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no diaper, there's no like.

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Speaker 2: No diapers, no white not even excessive snacks, like I

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Speaker 2: know what they're gonna tell you. What can you guys

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Speaker 2: read like yeah, like or I know I can get

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Speaker 2: at like I don't need you know, they're pretty they're

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Speaker 2: so used to the cross country flight too, that they

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Speaker 2: pretty much stay on their iPads the whole time, like

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Speaker 2: watching movies and whatever. And I'll maybe bring like one

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Speaker 2: activity for Axle for the little one in case he

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Speaker 2: gets bored of the iPad. But so travel was like

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Speaker 2: so easy, casey.

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Speaker 1: It's bored in case he gets bored of the iPad.

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Speaker 1: Is so funny to me, in case he gets bored

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Speaker 1: of me that the universe had his fingertips. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: go onside. It was very funny, no truly.

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Speaker 2: And then like they also they they on trips, they'll

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Speaker 2: play together or they'll play by them, like you don't

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Speaker 2: have we don't have to hover. They know how to swim,

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Speaker 2: like so I can like lay on a lounge chair

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Speaker 2: while they're swimming or playing and I'm not you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm keeping an eye on them, but I don't have

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Speaker 2: to watch them like a hawk anymore. Like, and I

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Speaker 2: actually could rest. They're also big enough where like we

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Speaker 2: could sleep in in a bunch of mornings because they

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Speaker 2: would go to the kitchen and grab a banana and

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Speaker 2: just like wait for us to get up, like unbelievable, whole.

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Speaker 1: New life, like a whole new.

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Speaker 2: And I there were a few times this summer where

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Speaker 2: I turned to David I was like, we're doing so

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Speaker 2: many I mean we did like five trips with them

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Speaker 2: this summer.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm not

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Speaker 2: completely exhausted. I'm having a good time with them because

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Speaker 2: they're really like people now, Like we're having conversations and like,

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Speaker 2: it just was such a difference. And I never would

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Speaker 2: have imagined that we would have done that many trips

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Speaker 2: with them. I mean, we did a weekend trip to

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Speaker 2: New York, like an in and out trip with New York.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: You took them to New York City?

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Speaker 2: Did it was a real quick Any family members listening

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Speaker 2: to this, I'm sorry I didn't call you.

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Speaker 1: We were literally there for three days.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: Oh, well that's impossible, so okay, wait list off the

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Speaker 1: places you went, and then did you stay with friends

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Speaker 1: or did you.

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Speaker 2: Stay with No, we got a hotel, Okay, Fat went

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Speaker 2: for our very good friends Michael and Harris were celebrating

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Speaker 2: their thirtieth wedding anniversary at Tavern on the Green and

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Speaker 2: it was beautiful and it meant so much to them

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Speaker 2: that we made the effort to go. But I also

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Speaker 2: was like, you know, I feel like, especially the last

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Speaker 2: few years, I've shifted to just like we got to

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Speaker 2: show up for the big moments, like yeah, for sure,

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Speaker 2: just got to make it work. And there's just one

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Speaker 2: of them where I was like, it's gonna be crazy,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna suck. We're going to take the kids, we're

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Speaker 2: going to go for a weekend, and we're just gonna

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Speaker 2: show up to his party. And we're so glad we did.

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Speaker 2: But they were so freaking happy to see the fucking

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Speaker 2: Statue of Liberty.

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Speaker 1: They really they were like super into it, so into it. Well,

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Speaker 1: was it about it? Is it like the life side

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Speaker 1: like or bigger than life?

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Speaker 2: What is it that they've seen so many pictures of

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Speaker 2: it and now they're seeing it in real life, more

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Speaker 2: so for the older one than the younger one. Axel

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Speaker 2: was like a little bit less impressed, but Enzo was

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Speaker 2: like mind blown. Took a gazillion pictures of the Statute

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Speaker 2: of Life, pretty so so happy, picked out this really

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Speaker 2: cool antique looking pocket watch at the gift shop.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: That he like treasures, and like when you ask him

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Speaker 2: about New York, he's like.

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Speaker 1: That was my favorite thing. And I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And just like seeing who we could meet up with

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Speaker 2: in a park. And we went to a bunch of

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Speaker 2: playgrounds and walked around and and so did say the

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Speaker 2: pizza was the best pizza he's ever had in his life.

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Speaker 1: Good, we said, good man. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The bagels though, he was like, the bagels were okay.

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Speaker 2: He said he likes Hank's bagels more.

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Speaker 1: Oh snap, Okay, so he's showing out to LA's Hanks bagels.

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Speaker 1: He's a little la baby, Yeah, La Baby, I know

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Speaker 1: it's amazing. So you really have crossed You've crossed the

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Speaker 1: line over. You've crossed the line over like a trip

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Speaker 1: or vacation, right, that thing that they say that you're

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Speaker 1: not you can't take a vacation with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of it still feels like a trip, but

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Speaker 2: it definitely Yeah, there were there were moments of like,

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Speaker 2: this feels like a vacation.

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Speaker 1: If you had to give your if you had to

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Speaker 1: give it a overall score with like x percent vacation,

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Speaker 1: x percent trip, what would you give it this summer?

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Speaker 2: I would say this summer was maybe at like sixty

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Speaker 2: percent trip, thirty percent vacation.

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Speaker 1: That's good, that's good. I would And in the past

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Speaker 1: I would have said like ninety percent trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah. I don't take this child places.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's so hard with a toddler. But I

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Speaker 2: feel like I see the light. I feel like I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we could maybe think about doing bigger trips or longer

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Speaker 2: trips or yeah.

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Speaker 1: Like something.

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Speaker 2: It feels now real. Yeah, I mean so it's I

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Speaker 2: mean it's coming. You're you're on the cusp.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're clot we're getting. I mean she does

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Speaker 1: really well when there's like activities and stuff, like we

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Speaker 1: took ros to Cleveland to see her aunt and uncle

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Speaker 1: and like that was fabulous and like we were there

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Speaker 1: for like literally a day and that was amazing and

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Speaker 1: she did really well. But I know, New York City,

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Speaker 1: whoof I don't think I could do it with her

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Speaker 1: I mean I barely do it with Brad, Like yeah,

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Speaker 1: very Brad has a hard time with the New York.

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Speaker 1: Like we were there for three days, three days just

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Speaker 1: over Labor Day for the US Open, and like the

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Speaker 1: reason that he had a good time was because like

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Speaker 1: got to go to the US Open. We saw a

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Speaker 1: play and he ate everything everything ever. You know, he

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Speaker 1: had like a list of places that he was going

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Speaker 1: to go and and you got to take a must

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Speaker 1: girl up. Helton class was pretty fun one. It was

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Speaker 1: really fun. Yeah, because like I don't know, I mean

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Speaker 1: I used to teach workout classes, like uh, there's something

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Speaker 1: that happens like in the studio when like everybody's like

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Speaker 1: you're about to kind of like feel you know, when

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Speaker 1: you're at home alone working out and you hit that

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Speaker 1: point where were like I could just stop here, like

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Speaker 1: I did, I did enough. You know, literally em a

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Speaker 1: love well. The teacher was like I know how you

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Speaker 1: feel right now. You're like I could stop, I've done enough.

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Speaker 1: And I was like she's in my mind, you know,

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Speaker 1: like she she's a witch's She was fabulous. She was

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Speaker 1: very very good at like just making us feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know those teachers are really gifted.

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Speaker 1: They I hope they paid them a lot of money.

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Speaker 1: I really do, because they deserve it, because they just

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Speaker 1: make you feel like you could do anything. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't pay attention to like my

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Speaker 1: leaderboard scores and shit, because like, fuck you, I'm on

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Speaker 1: the bike working out. I don't need to look at shit.

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Speaker 1: I don't. We don't need that. No Brad does. He's

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Speaker 1: like all about it. After class. He was like, you

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Speaker 1: know who was first in the class leader board? And

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Speaker 1: I was like, let me guess. Oh my god, shut up, Brad.

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Speaker 1: I know it's really hard sometimes m m. But I

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Speaker 1: mean that I get it. Can come. Competition can push

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Speaker 1: people harder. Listen, when I'm in a pilates class, do

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Speaker 1: I pay attention to what the woman next to me

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Speaker 1: is doing? Absolutely? If she's holding that plank, I am

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Speaker 1: trying to also hold that plank. That's why I like

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Speaker 1: to sit, you know, like I like to get on

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Speaker 1: the machine. That's like next to the girl that looks

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Speaker 1: really strong, So I'm like, what's she gonna do? Can

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Speaker 1: I be as strong as her? Usually the answer is no,

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Speaker 1: but at least I get pushed a little harder. Yes,

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Speaker 1: versus at home where I'm just like I've done enough,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm good, you know, although you stand up here

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Speaker 1: and like I'm in a stretch, stretch, I feel like, wait, okay,

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Speaker 1: so you answered the question of like what have you

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Speaker 1: done lately? That's more better, which is like you've traveled

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Speaker 1: with your children and it's been not as hellish. By

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Speaker 1: the way, for those of you listening that don't have kids,

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Speaker 1: enjoy your time, yeah, because it really does shift a lot.

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Speaker 1: And it was magical to have some days with Brad

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Speaker 1: where my sister was watching Roz because yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: just nice. I mean, like I haven't slept in like

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Speaker 1: that in a long time. I mean it was you know,

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Speaker 1: it was really nice. It's just different. Uh.

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Speaker 2: And again toddler years, like they don't let you sleep in.

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Speaker 2: They eventually do our kids let us sleep in a

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Speaker 2: bunch of the summer. He does sleep, but she does.

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Speaker 2: She's asleeper.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't go to bed, but she does sleep. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's like her bedtime is like nine thirty or ten.

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Speaker 1: Like she's a fucking party and in that room. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's a little night owl. Yeah, what have you done

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Speaker 1: that's more better? Yeah? No, girl, like I've been very

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Speaker 1: I have continued my therapy journey. We're still taking our meds.

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Speaker 1: Great tis the Metal came out. If you guys haven't

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Speaker 1: watched it, it's on Peacock right now. All the season

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Speaker 1: has dropped.

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Speaker 2: I have watched the first two episodes and very behind him. Sorry,

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Speaker 2: I'm a very bad friend. Okay, it's okay, watched anything

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Speaker 2: all summer, but you got a.

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Speaker 1: Dude's head off in the episode two, and it's so bad.

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Speaker 1: I did. That's me jumping. That's me doing almost everything there.

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Speaker 1: I probably love to jumping so much.

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Speaker 2: I've known you for so long. I try to like.

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Speaker 2: The stunt work is really really good, though I can't

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Speaker 2: always tell when it's there's a swap, and I think

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Speaker 2: only I can tell in small moments because I know

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Speaker 2: you so so well. Yeah, but yeah, I saw that

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Speaker 2: jump and I was like that.

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Speaker 1: That was me. That was me. I'm really proud of it.

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Speaker 1: It's really I think the thing that's kind of hard

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Speaker 1: is that like a we don't know if we're gonna

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Speaker 1: get us a third season and be like, you know

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Speaker 1: that feeling for those of you that don't work in

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Speaker 1: television and film, which I think is probably a lot

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Speaker 1: of ourst listeners are just like cool normal people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's you know, the feeling when like you take a

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Speaker 1: picture and or someone takes a picture of you and

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Speaker 1: post it on Instagram or Facebook or something, and you're like, no,

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Speaker 1: I look stupid, and uh, that is the feeling that

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Speaker 1: I have when I watch myself on TV. Really every

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Speaker 1: episode of the show, I have a really hard time.

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Speaker 1: Oh good, I like it's it's more like and like

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Speaker 1: rubbing my case. You guys, if you're not watching this

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Speaker 1: on you, I don't know. It's really hard for me.

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Speaker 1: And it's not even like how I look that part

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Speaker 1: is not even it's whatever. It's more like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: the disconnect between I thought I was being a good

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Speaker 1: actor in this scene and now I'm watching the scene

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm kind of bad. Like I'm watching

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Speaker 1: it my work is not good. Well, continue watching this season.

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Speaker 1: I mean, listen, here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to watch Hypercriticals and I'm gonna I know

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Speaker 2: you are. I know you are because I know you

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Speaker 2: and we all do. We're all guilty of it. I

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Speaker 2: do the same thing. You go, oh why did I

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Speaker 2: make that choice? Or what would that take like I

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Speaker 2: get it. It's you know, there's a lot that is

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Speaker 2: out of our control, especially if we're not but.

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Speaker 1: Not the acting, and the actings in my control. And

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Speaker 1: I'm bad. I'm not bad.

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Speaker 2: My grand was like cakes that they use and stuff

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Speaker 2: like we we don't, you know, we do our thing

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Speaker 2: and then and then it's out of our hands. But

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to watch the rest of the series.

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Speaker 2: And I'm gonna I'm gonna flood you with fucking compliment.

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Speaker 1: I mean, here's what I was gonna say that I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to get more better at, which is just like

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Speaker 1: accepting somehow understanding that like, Okay, I'm not as good

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Speaker 1: as I wanted to be. That can be true at

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Speaker 1: the same time that the thing that I did I'm

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Speaker 1: really proud of, Like I am proud of the thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of the show. I think it's so funny.

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Speaker 1: Everyone else is so great in it. It looks fucking fantastic,

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Speaker 1: like and how I felt when I was making it

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Speaker 1: was like that was such a special experience. It was

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Speaker 1: so special and like fun and like that can exist.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be more better out letting that exist

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Speaker 1: while also understanding like maybe I'm not as good as

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Speaker 1: an actor I thought it was, and I need to

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Speaker 1: like work on some stuff to get to the place

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Speaker 1: that I feel really really confident about the work that

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Speaker 1: I am looking at. Or I just do you know

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Speaker 1: what Adam Driver does, which does never watch anything that

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Speaker 1: I do. I don't know what the answer is here,

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Speaker 1: but I'm trying to be more fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, I was going to add I also think that

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Speaker 2: part of what you're describing is true for almost any artists,

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Speaker 2: except maybe the really crazy narcissistic ones. But like we're

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Speaker 2: it's like that Martha Graham quote, Like there's this divine

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Speaker 2: dissatisfaction because you are because actually, when you're a brilliant

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Speaker 2: artist the way you are, you're you're always trying to

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Speaker 2: be better, Like you know what I mean. Like I

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Speaker 2: think I think it's accepting that it's always going to

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Speaker 2: be weird to watch ourselves. It's always going to be like,

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Speaker 2: you know, not enough. At the same time, that's also

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Speaker 2: the thing that pushes us to keep like trying to

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Speaker 2: be better, trying to get better at this thing, trying

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Speaker 2: to hone our craft, trying to evolve as an artist,

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Speaker 2: like and be better every single job. Like I don't

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Speaker 2: think this is the kind of thing that you ever

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Speaker 2: go like, I got it, Like I'm like, I know

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Speaker 2: exactly what I'm doing and what I'm gonna do, Like

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Speaker 2: I think any I think the actors, oh think like that,

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Speaker 2: like usually are not that good.

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Speaker 1: I would agree with you. I would agree I agree

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Speaker 1: with you. I think the thing I'm missing is the

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Speaker 1: divinity is the thing that I'm missing. The piece is

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Speaker 1: the thing that I'm missing. The her quote that is

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Speaker 1: a fantastic quote which I've heard before, but like the

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Speaker 1: divinity in it, the divine sat dissatisfaction is the thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm missing.

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Speaker 2: I am just sitting in the distisfaction. Divine the divine

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Speaker 2: dissatisfaction keeps us marching on or something like that. That's

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Speaker 2: exceptional fire. It's the thing that keeps like pushing you

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Speaker 2: forward to.

356
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Speaker 1: Get which is like, oh, I want to get better,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to like, oh my god, I'm horrible in this.

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Speaker 1: I hate myself, you know, which is like, yeah that is,

359
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Speaker 1: and that's actually not true. I don't hate myself in it.

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Speaker 1: I just hate my face. No, I'm just kidding. I

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Speaker 1: ah more better. Anyway, what are we talking about this week?

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Speaker 2: We are talking about on our very first episode back

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Speaker 2: making decisions.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, this is a hard one for me sometimes

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Speaker 1: other times I'm a master at it. So I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to get into this because, like, I really feel

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Speaker 1: like this is a this is something that we get

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Speaker 1: challenged by all the time. Yeah, what's your experience with

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Speaker 1: making decisions? I can be really good at it if

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Speaker 1: like so both of us have directed, or you've directed

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Speaker 1: a lot more than me. But I found that one

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Speaker 1: of the things that was easiest for me directing television

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Speaker 1: was making choices. I was just like, oh, this that

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Speaker 1: the other You know, people will come up to you

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Speaker 1: all day and ask you, like, what do you think

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Speaker 1: about this? What is this choice?

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Speaker 2: You know, all day you have to make decisions.

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Speaker 1: Whether it was like all day you know, do you

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Speaker 1: want the window brighter? Do you want the do what

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Speaker 1: do you want her to wear? What do you want

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Speaker 1: to like?

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Speaker 2: Do you like the darker blue shirt or the lighter

383
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Speaker 2: blue shirt?

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Speaker 1: For this, I was like bing bang boom, boom, boom boom,

385
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Speaker 1: Like those choices were so easy for me. Decorating my house,

386
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Speaker 1: I was like this, this, this, this, like I knew

387
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Speaker 1: things were when things were wrong immediately like I was like, no,

388
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Speaker 1: that's not right. I mean we need to change that

389
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Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm really good at it if I'm passionate

390
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Speaker 1: about the thing that's happening, but like I get totally frozen.

391
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Speaker 1: Like yesterday we had the whole day free in New

392
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Speaker 1: York until we had to take the peloton class at five.

393
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Speaker 1: Brad was like, what do you want to do? And

394
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Speaker 1: I was frozen, locked into my phone like looking for

395
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Speaker 1: like what do I want to do? I don't know,

396
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Speaker 1: I just want it for an hour in New York

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Speaker 1: City or city. What about you?

398
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Speaker 2: I think I'm very similar. Yeah, I was going to

399
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Speaker 2: say that I feel like I operate in the two

400
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Speaker 2: extremes when it comes to decisions of either being incredibly

401
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Speaker 2: decisive or completely frozen, like there's no in between. I

402
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 2: wish I could find more in between, but I don't

403
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 2: know how to live in the in between. I'm either

404
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 2: so annoyingly indecisive or I'm just like no, we should

405
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 2: do this, Like yeah, definitely, that same experience with directing,

406
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Speaker 2: like all day, answering all those questions was like so easy, easy,

407
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 2: and and even just like in work or yeah, I

408
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: just I'm I'm so decisive in the moment, but when

409
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 2: it comes to like what should we have for dinner tonight,

410
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Speaker 2: I will become catatonic, Like I will catatonic.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I will.

412
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Speaker 2: Just this blank stare takes over my face and I

413
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 2: just stare at my husband or my refrigerator, and I go, yes,

414
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Speaker 2: I don't know.

415
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Speaker 1: I don't open the open and stair the open and

416
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Speaker 1: stair is I have so much trouble like making lunch

417
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Speaker 1: for myself because I'll just open the fridge and stare

418
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Speaker 1: and be like, well, there's a package of turkey and

419
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Speaker 1: there's a package of cheese, and I can make a

420
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Speaker 1: turkey cheese roll up, but I have to open both

421
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Speaker 1: packages and I slowly close the refrigerator and grab and

422
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Speaker 1: grab like a bar something that I don't have to

423
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Speaker 1: do more than two steps. Have such a hard time.

424
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Speaker 1: Why why is it so hard? I just the hardest

425
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Speaker 1: decision you've ever had to make, Like what's the hardest

426
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Speaker 1: thing that you've ever had, Like that you had to

427
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Speaker 1: like really marinate on for a long time or it

428
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 1: was a quick one, but it was just so hard

429
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Speaker 1: to make.

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Speaker 2: Maybe moving to la oh snap, Yeah. I feel like

431
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Speaker 2: David was very like this is what we got like

432
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Speaker 2: it was very clear and decisive for him, and I

433
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Speaker 2: was like, I need a minute, because I was turning

434
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Speaker 2: thirty and starting over in a whole new place felt

435
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 2: overwhelmingly terrifying. Yeah, even though I'd spent a lot of

436
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 2: time in LA And I was like, you know, pilot

437
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 2: season still existed then, so I would fly out every

438
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 2: year a couple times a year.

439
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 1: Side note for the listeners at home, Oh yeah, Melissa,

440
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: will you explain to us what pilot season was.

441
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 2: Pilot season used to be this magical, stressful time of

442
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 2: year where all the television networks would put all the

443
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 2: potential new shows that they were going to they were

444
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 2: going to do the first episode of, and you would

445
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 2: and it would happen February through like March, and of

446
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 2: March early April, and you would just audition for a

447
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 2: fuck load of pilots and then maybe you would test

448
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 2: for one, and then maybe you would book one, and

449
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: then maybe that pilot would get picked up and become

450
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 2: an actual show. Those are like all the steps, cliff

451
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: notes of all the steps, but they would all happen

452
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 2: the same time of year to be ready for fall schedules.

453
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 2: When we used to have TV schedules back in the day.

454
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 2: Now we don't have that anymore, and now pilots happen

455
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 2: throughout the year, which I don't miss pilot season because

456
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 2: it was such a stressful time.

457
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 1: Every year did it. It was dated, it hated it.

458
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 2: And then especially as like a minority, most years were

459
00:23:53,240 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: like bad. There was one year where I had thirty auditions, incredible,

460
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 2: only one year. I think the average before that was

461
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 2: like eight to ten.

462
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: It's still incredible. My pilot season was like two if

463
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: I was lucky too.

464
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, but all the people I went to college with

465
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: were like that was their average, Like that was that

466
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 2: was what if you were a working actor. That was

467
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 2: what most non minority i'll put it actors experienced. And

468
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 2: then yeah, and I remember one year there. I had

469
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 2: a friend who would audition a lot of your pilot

470
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: season and there was one pilot season where you know,

471
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 2: diversity was in and I probably was the same year

472
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 2: that I had the thirty auditions and like there was

473
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 2: more opportunity and he was like, ah, I only have

474
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 2: like fifteen auditions this pilot season, and I was like,

475
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 2: that's still a lot. And sometimes equality feels like oppression.

476
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: You're so nice. I would have been like eat ship man,

477
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: that fucking I wanted to do.

478
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 2: But it was a very like sweet friend, but I did.

479
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: I gently you gently told you were like not on

480
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: some feces, just very not. So that's violot season, guys. Uh. Anyway,

481
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: that was a tangent, but I got big, just a decision,

482
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: move your whole life. All your friends were in New

483
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 1: York and still.

484
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: Are are like your close close buddies. Yeah, m hmmm,

485
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, some of them actually live other places now.

486
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 2: But but at the time, yeah, it was like all

487
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: my people, my cousins, my family.

488
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: Your family, family's all eat both.

489
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I it felt like a really daunting

490
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 2: decision that I just had to sit on for a minute.

491
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: And then I finally came around, you know. I mean,

492
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: David kept reminding me. He was like, we're going to

493
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 2: run out of money so fast.

494
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: Because La was at that time.

495
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm still like LA caught up to New York the

496
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 2: first two years we were here, but at the time

497
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: it was still like cheaper, and I think in a

498
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: lot of ways like it is you can still. I mean,

499
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 2: it's so expensive now, but there there were a good

500
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 2: number of years where like if you were crafty, you

501
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: could live way cheaper. Like our rent was so much

502
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 2: cheaper when we moved here than we've ever been in

503
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 2: New York for a two bedroom apartment that we got

504
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: in Hollywood, like in a shape of Hollywood.

505
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's like a bigger issue though, right, Like

506
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: economy wise, I think, sorry, I'm just picking some fluff

507
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: off my microphone, guys, as one does. Economy wise, I

508
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: think everything's gotten harder in the last seven years. Everyone's

509
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: money is having to stretch so much further. So like

510
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 1: it isn't just our city that's gotten more expensive. It's

511
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: like literally everywhere everyone and the cost of like living

512
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: has gone up while the median income has stayed exactly

513
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:04,479
Speaker 1: the same. And that's on billionaires guys. A A. I

514
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 1: feel like the biggest decision that I ever had to make,

515
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: the biggest one that was like, oh my god, okay, okay, okay.

516
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: It was like probably both like around life and death,

517
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: was like am I gonna have a baby, and then

518
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: am I going to bring my dad? Like my dad's

519
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 1: my dad. When my dad was dying, it was like

520
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 1: am I gonna what do I do? And that did

521
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,199
Speaker 1: feel like it wasn't like a hard decision. It was

522
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: just like Okay, we're doing this, but it felt it

523
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: felt like a big decision, you know, like Okay, he's

524
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna bring him here, and then like whatever happened,

525
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: like he's gonna be with us, like he and my

526
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: mom are gonna be with us. And then it's like

527
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: whatever happens is gonna happen, Like if he lasts another

528
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: six months, if he lasts a year. He ended up

529
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: lasting a month, you know, but it was like he's

530
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: coming here, He's coming here, like, but it felt very

531
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: big because I knew it was gonna it was the

532
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: rest of my life. You know. It's like, no matter

533
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: what happens here from here on out, it's going to

534
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: be different because like whether or not he lasts, you know,

535
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: lives another six months, like it's going to affect all

536
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: of our lives on the day to day, you know,

537
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: And it did for the last month that he was alive.

538
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,199
Speaker 1: It affected everything for the day to day. That was

539
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: That was like a hard one because I it wasn't

540
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: like a hard like choice, but it was hard. It

541
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: was like this is the choice, and it's hard, kind

542
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: of like having a baby. It was like it wasn't like,

543
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,479
Speaker 1: oh am I gonna am I not? It was like

544
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,880
Speaker 1: I want to and I know it's going to be hard.

545
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: You know.

546
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 2: Do you have like an approach to making those big decisions, like,

547
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: I don't know.

548
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: Do you journal about it? Do you make a list?

549
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: Do you talk? As we've discussed on this podcast.

550
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 2: I fucking hate you fucking hate journals. Yeah, I'm so

551
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 2: sorry that. I'm so sorry that I said the words.

552
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: It's okay. I write things down. I do make lists

553
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: sometimes I make lists. I think for those big things,

554
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: I try to just talk it out with my partner.

555
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: I talk it out with Brad a lot, but especially

556
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: if he's involved, you know, because yeah, I think with

557
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: those big things, I don't know that you're solitary necessarily

558
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: when you're making those kinds of those kinds of decisions

559
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: like moving.

560
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 2: Right, Like because that one didn't just affect you, it

561
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: affected multiple people.

562
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: Right, So like then you have to kind of take

563
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: into account everybody's, like how everybody's going to feel about

564
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: this thing. But like, I think group decisions are hard

565
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: like that, and it's not a group, it's more like

566
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 1: a partnership, right, Like although I guess with my dad.

567
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: It was a group decision. It was like me, my mom, my, sister, Anne,

568
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: Brad all kind of going like we're gonna have to

569
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: like band together to do this and like we don't

570
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen. All hands on deck. Yeah right,

571
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: But like I'm really bad when I'm such a control freak,

572
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: like when it comes to like group group things, like

573
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: like when we take the whole girl, like when we

574
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: go on I mean like when you're talking about like

575
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: we went with multiple families to Palm Desert. I was like,

576
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: this sounds like my naightmare. I mean, I I cannot

577
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: I have. I'm like, I mean, you've been with me

578
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: to Disneyland, and I'm like, no one leaves a group.

579
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: The group doesn't separate, you know what I mean? Like

580
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 1: I get really like the group doesn't separate. We say together,

581
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: we're going to the bathroom, We're all going together. Okay.

582
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: I might have a hard time. This is when we're

583
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,719
Speaker 1: eating and this is where we're eating.

584
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 2: I have a hard time. But here's the thing. I

585
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 2: think that's okay. So I can be that person if

586
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: I see that no one else is taking that role,

587
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 2: I'm I can I can plan, I can buy default

588
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 2: by default, by default. This trip we went on to Lakinta.

589
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: It was for uh four families. It's my little like

590
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: mom group. We all met in prenatal yoga. We did

591
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 2: any class together and we've just like they've been the

592
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 2: group of women that have helped me like navigate especially

593
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 2: the early years of motherhood, which shout out to them

594
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: every I hope every mother has that in their life

595
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: because there's been so many times where it's like my

596
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 2: kid is doing this and it's fucking annoying and then

597
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 2: they're like yup, and you're like, oh, okay, it's normal

598
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 2: and anyway. But one of the moms in the group

599
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 2: is like a super type a planner. She find she

600
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: found the deal for the hotel, She booked all our

601
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: rooms and sent the vouchers to us. She made all

602
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 2: their dinner reservations like she would like in our Oh fucking.

603
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: Love her, yeah, I love her yeah.

604
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: And she'll be like you know, she'll go to the

605
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 2: group for little decisions. But she's so good too because

606
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: like restaurants. We the last time we went, because we

607
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: went to this place two years ago for Labor Day weekend,

608
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: we had dinner one night at the steakhouse and it

609
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 2: was terrible because we all had toddlers and it's like

610
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 2: a nice steakhouse and they it just wasn't family friendly

611
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: and everybody was stressed out and like shoving food down

612
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: their mouth and like trying to get the fuck out

613
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 2: of there. Yeah, and so she was like, we don't

614
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 2: want to do the steakhouse again, right, and we were

615
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 2: like fuck no. And then she was like, okay, so

616
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: we love the Mexican place, and like there's this other place.

617
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 2: You want to do Mexican two nights and we were

618
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: like no, yeah, let's do Mexican. Let's do the other place,

619
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 2: like let's try it. And it was great. It was

620
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: like a bistro kind of burgers and bar food kind of.

621
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: It was good.

622
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: Perfect, And so she was like done and she was

623
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: like five thirty good because we hit there's some very

624
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 2: littles and you know, and we were like, yeah, great

625
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 2: early dinner, love it, and she's just like and then

626
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: she was like, okay, this is what we're bringing, like

627
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 2: here's some ideas, like if you guys want to bring

628
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: some floaties, like.

629
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: She just handled it.

630
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 2: Oh my god, amazing. And we all just showed up

631
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 2: and we did our parts and like brought you know,

632
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 2: extra snacks and extra floaties for the kids and games

633
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: and like, you know, we all like chipped in. We

634
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: also weren't like fucking assholes.

635
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: That's the other thing. If you're in a.

636
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 2: Group, you also like have to contribute, not just like

637
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: let the person do every you know what I mean.

638
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 2: I was like, I got board games, I got this,

639
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: I got you know, I'm gonna bring this.

640
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,239
Speaker 1: That's the thing. She she she shaped it so that

641
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: you guys could make some choices like oh, I'll bring

642
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: this or I'll bring this. Yeah, I'm gonna I want

643
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: to make a choice about where we're gonna eat. But

644
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: she did. She wasn't like where do you guys want

645
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: to eat? She was like Mexican Okay, you know what

646
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: I mean. Like she she had a handle on it,

647
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: but still had flexibility, so it didn't feel like, oh

648
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: my god, we're doing everything, yes she wants to do.

649
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: Would you rather like your life? I know the answer

650
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: for myself. Would you rather have more choices or less

651
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: choices in your life? Oh? My god, less choices.

652
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: Nothing stresses me out more than when I go to

653
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,919
Speaker 2: a fucking restaurant and the menu is more than.

654
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: A page long. Oh my god.

655
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 2: I if I see a book, I need to decide

656
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 2: what I'm going to eat before I walk into a

657
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 2: cheesecake factory because that fucking book stresses me out so much.

658
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real. That's real.

659
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 2: If I walk into a restaurant and there's like four

660
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 2: or five entree choices, I am so happy. Yeah, I

661
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:38,240
Speaker 2: like this place is amazing. I love it. Yes, I cannot.

662
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 2: I need less choices. Give me two or three options.

663
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: I'm good to go. If you give me ten, I'm

664
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 2: that catatonic look on my face is gonna come and

665
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like I don't know what tox. That's

666
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 2: how New York City feels to me.

667
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: It's like I don't know where I'm going, Like there's

668
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: so many funny vintage choices. There's so many, Like I

669
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: was like, I want to go to a store, I

670
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: want to go to I want to go And then

671
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 1: it was like ooh, like I felt like I was

672
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: gonna have an aneurysm. There's so many choices about where

673
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: to look at things, and like, yeah, and also me,

674
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 1: I love I love choices too. In that like I

675
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: was thinking about, like I was thinking about for you.

676
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: You know, you and I share a stylist and Ariel

677
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: and I always joke, but like you'll come in and

678
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: try on like three things and like if they fit great,

679
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: You're like, yes, done, We're done. Like we're done.

680
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 2: Like she literally asked me to drive try on more.

681
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: Me, try on a couple more things. Meanwhile, She'll have

682
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: like a rack of clothes for me, and I'm like,

683
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,919
Speaker 1: is this it there? What about that? Can I try

684
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 1: that on? Is that someone else's Did they say no

685
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: to it? Can I try it on? Like I love

686
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: choosing things to wear, like I love it. Meanwhile, I'm

687
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 1: always in the same thing. I'm always in like a

688
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: vintage T shirt, Levi's jeans. But like, I love having

689
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: the choices, right, Like my closet is full of Like

690
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: so if you want to do and.

691
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 2: You see a small rack, you're immediately stressed out.

692
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: If I see a small rack, I'm not stressed. I'm

693
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: just like, oh okay, Oh it's very curated today. I

694
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: wonder what is here? You know, I prefer to see

695
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: I prefer to see a rack that looks hefty so

696
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh, there's gonna be a lot of

697
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: choices here. And that's also because like I know that

698
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,240
Speaker 1: clothes are hard. Clothes are I mean, this is something

699
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: that we can talk about bodies on a future episode.

700
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 1: But like clothes are hard because they're not. They're all

701
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 1: made on different fit models. They all fit us differently.

702
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: All of our bodies are different, and like sometimes something

703
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: will fit, you know, on the top for me, but

704
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,760
Speaker 1: then like the butt, just like my booty is Listen,

705
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 1: I've been doing my my pilates, I've been doing my peloton,

706
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: and my booty is booty ing right now, you know. Okay, Okay,

707
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: I mean listen, I'm really trying to battle the side.

708
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 1: Note my mom, My mom doesn't listen to this, so

709
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: it's okay. But like my mom came over like Labor

710
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: Day weekend, which we were all in the pool and stuff,

711
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: and my mom's so cute in her little leopard bathing suit.

712
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 2: But she's got like a slat.

713
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, like I call her SpongeBob square butt, and

714
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: like I've inherited the SpongeBob square butt. And sometimes I

715
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: see my own butt and like in a picture or something,

716
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like that's SpongeBob score butt. So I have

717
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: to really battle the SpongeBob scare butt. You know exactly

718
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. It looks like fucking square and

719
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: yeah thistical genetically, sometimes my booty be looking like a square.

720
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: Shout out to wrang those jeans that never make my

721
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: booty look like a square. Thank you wranglers. Yes. How

722
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: do you teach your boys to make choices? Do you

723
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: give them choices? Is this something that you like with them?

724
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 1: I do.

725
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 2: I have two pretty wilful boys. One is much more

726
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: willful than the other and needs choices. Like if you

727
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: only give him one choice, he's like what else is available?

728
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: It's like living total little lawyer. So I do as

729
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: often as I can. But then also I see the

730
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 2: other side of it, like sometimes sometimes David will say

731
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: like what do you want to eat to lunch to

732
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 2: the children, and I'm like, nope, nope, no, I'm like,

733
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 2: that's like that's a terrible question. They're going to tell

734
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 2: you they're they're going to go into paralysis, or they're

735
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 2: going to ask for a pizza or candy or like

736
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: you know. I was like, give them two choices, or

737
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 2: just make something and give it to them. Yeah, so

738
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a time and a place I

739
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 2: do try to give like two or three decisions. Now

740
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: having a nine year old, it's really interesting because we're

741
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 2: getting into like tween years. Like literally, I had this

742
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 2: realization the other day where I was like, oh my god,

743
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 2: I think I have a tween and then somebody like

744
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 2: confirmed it for me. They were like, yeah, that like

745
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 2: that's that's nine to twelve. Those are the tween years.

746
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, ugh, but my god, I was

747
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 1: still playing with when I was nine, I know, but

748
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: it is I was like playing with dolls bro. Yeah,

749
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 1: I mean I was like Samantha from the American Girls,

750
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I was like reading Girls. Yeah,

751
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: Like no, you're still a kid.

752
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 2: But it like biologically, it's when like the first little

753
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 2: bits of hormones like start coming in and I've seen

754
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 2: it in some moodswings like yeah, okay. So he oh

755
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 2: so he had to pick an elective for the first

756
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 2: time in school and there was four or five choices okay,

757
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,959
Speaker 2: and it was the first time where uh we really

758
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 2: had to like talk it out. I was like, oh, shoot,

759
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: he has to like decide something kind of big and

760
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 2: we have to like weigh the pros and cons, and

761
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 2: like what was hard was he didn't really want to

762
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: do any of them because we thought we thought debate

763
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 2: was going to be one of the choices and it wasn't.

764
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 2: And so oh he was because when I told him that,

765
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 2: he was like, what's debate? And I was like, you

766
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 2: just argue with people to like prove your right.

767
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god. He was like he was like wow, wow, wow, wow,

768
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: wow wow, my life's calling. Oh god, that's so funny. Goddamn,

769
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 1: that's funny.

770
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 2: So he had a pick, like, you know, two of

771
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 2: them were music based, and then there's like drama and dance.

772
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 2: He was like, definitely not dance. Definitely not drama. So

773
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: he's like, I know, I thought maybe there would be

774
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 2: no he was like hard pass on the drama ross

775
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 2: well from him, he was like getting up in front

776
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 2: of people and like acting. God, no, okay, okay, yeah.

777
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 2: I was like, well, what if part of drama is

778
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 2: like making up the things for people to do. He's like,

779
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 2: it's not. I already asked that and I was like okay, ah,

780
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 2: but yeah, so yeah, it's just beginning. And I and

781
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 2: I it wasn't something I put a lot of thought into,

782
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 2: but I guess I approached it the way I like

783
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: you were saying, like, I think I make a lot

784
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 2: of decisions by like talking it out, Like I need

785
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: to talk it out, like whether it's with David or

786
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 2: friend or you know, it's like it depends on what

787
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: the decision is that I find, Like I'll go to

788
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: a person that I feel like maybe an expert or

789
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,720
Speaker 2: is going to be smarter than me in that world.

790
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.

791
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: You know, like I've got I go to you sometimes

792
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 2: for work decisions, or I've gone I've gone to Andy

793
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 2: sometimes for work decisions, like and uh, and I just

794
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 2: have to talk it out and then I'm usually talking

795
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 2: it out. By the end of talking it out and

796
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 2: you're like weighing pros and cons, it just becomes clearer

797
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 2: what you want to do.

798
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: So what you're talking about right now, I think is

799
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: so fascinating because what you're talking about is is accessing

800
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 1: and practicing your critical thinking skills, your actual like brain

801
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: going like what do I want when I critically look

802
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: at this decision that I'm gonna make, I want to

803
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: talk about it. It's like, and then I want to

804
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: that thing that I like to say, which is like

805
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: I want to not just play the trailer, I want

806
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: to watch the whole movie, Like what happens at the

807
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: end of this if I choose this right? Yeah, And

808
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: like this is where I think letting chat GBT and

809
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: like I just went like this with my hands. But

810
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: like when you're asking, when you're asking your phone like

811
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 1: to make these choices for you, that's when it gets

812
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 1: really sticky, because like critical thinking is a practice. It

813
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: is a it's yeah, is a practice, and it's like

814
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: it is like working out. It's like working out these

815
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 1: parts of your brain that are looking at something and

816
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: act assessing whether or not you agree or disagree and

817
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 1: what you like and what you think about it, as

818
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,479
Speaker 1: opposed to just giving it over to something like AI,

819
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 1: which is like make this choice for me an AI

820
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: is listen. AI is great for a lot of things.

821
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,240
Speaker 1: Chatgybts really can be really helpful, but it does always

822
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: come with a disclaimer, which is like most of this

823
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:11,280
Speaker 1: stuff is wrong, Like you have to follow up more better,

824
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: more better. So like something that isis our producer looked

825
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:24,799
Speaker 1: up for us in our nerve time is dependence and

826
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,439
Speaker 1: reliability over reliance on AI could lead to a loss

827
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: of critical thinking skills and judgment among individuals. The inability

828
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: to discern between AI generated and human generated insights can

829
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: be detrimental in situations requiring independent decision making, which is

830
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 1: like really scary and not to get too dark about it,

831
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: because this podcast is called more Better, but there there

832
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: are a lot of teenagers that are relying on chat,

833
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 1: GYBT and different forms of AI to help them make

834
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 1: decisions because they're really like confused or unable to sort

835
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: of move forward, right, And that's where I think parental

836
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,800
Speaker 1: guidance or like mentor guidance can really come in handy

837
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: because talking things out with a kid, talking things out

838
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: with friends, and being able to be vulnerable and say

839
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: like I don't know what the right decision is. I

840
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: actually don't know. Can you help me with a real

841
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: person versus a computer? You know, an artificial intelligence is

842
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: is is not going to come at you with like

843
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:37,399
Speaker 1: maybe the empathy or sympathy or or human experiences that

844
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: haven't been distilled down into like you know, BuzzFeed articles

845
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 1: that AI is grabbing outs information from, right, Like, I

846
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: think that that's a big that's big that you're helping

847
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 1: your kid through these like first steps of like what

848
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: choices do I want to make that reflect who I

849
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: want to be? Slash am what I do don't like,

850
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: which is like I don't want to get them in

851
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: running people right now? You know, like that might change?

852
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: What did he end up deciding bad banned? Yeah he

853
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: knew it, so he knew it. Has he watched School

854
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: of Rock by the way, Oh no, that's a good

855
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: Oh good, it's so funny, dude, it's such a great movie. Oh,

856
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,760
Speaker 1: such a great movie. Oh my god.

857
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 2: We sort of went with, you know, like so much

858
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 2: back and forth, and I finally just went just ask

859
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 2: your friends what they're doing, and be with your friends again,

860
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 2: real the people they really like, spend like more time

861
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 2: with during the day, Spend more time with those with friends, go,

862
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 2: spend more time with them and pick the same elective. Yeah, yes,

863
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 2: I was like, and then you know you're gonna have

864
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: a good time regardless of what it is.

865
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: Yes, you know. Yeah that also brings me to this

866
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: other part of your time, which is the good enough rule.

867
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 1: In his twenty sixteen book The Paradox of Choice, Why

868
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 1: More is Less, psychology professor Barry Schwartz says people tend

869
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 1: to make decisions in one of two general ways. Maximizers

870
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,919
Speaker 1: try to find the perfect choice and compare everything. Satisfiers

871
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 1: pick good enough. The paradoxes, maximizers make objectively better decisions,

872
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: but might feel more regret and dissatisfaction. That's hilarious. That's

873
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: that can be really true, because like sometimes I'm like,

874
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, I'm my got And

875
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: then I finally settle on and I'm like, oh, but

876
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 1: what if I'd done the other thing as opposed to Eh, whatever,

877
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: I'll just do this right, yeah, just kind of what

878
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 1: we ended up doing on what was yesterday? Whatever yesterday was. Oh, girl,

879
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: I don't know what day it is anymore. Girl, did

880
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: I tell you our flight was delayed? I'm doing this

881
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: on like four hours of sleep. Nothing. Oh my flight

882
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 1: was delayed on the tarmac. Speaking of choices, we had

883
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 1: a choice whether or not to get off the plane

884
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: at one point, and I was like, no, I'm not

885
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: getting off this plane. I can ride this plane all

886
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 1: the way to LA. We were on the tarmac, or

887
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: not even the tarmac. We were at the gate for

888
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 1: two hours and then we had another hour wait on Oh,

889
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 1: I watched Dirty dancing holds up, great movie?

890
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:06,479
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh ahead of okay, ahead of its time,

891
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: truly ahead of time time.

892
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to do this thing? Wait, hold on,

893
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,399
Speaker 1: where is it? I just found us this thing. Let's

894
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: end with this. Which is this rapid fire game called

895
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: the this or that question Generator. It's like a team

896
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: building exercise. We can link it on the story in

897
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: our stories or something great. This post contains what you

898
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: found our list of this or that questions. This or

899
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 1: that questions are prompts to ask participants to choose for

900
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: one or two of two options. The purpose of these

901
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: questions is usually to help adults break the ice or

902
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: service quick and fun game for friends. These prompts are

903
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: also known as either or questions. Oh, I'm going to

904
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 1: scroll down to the click and the click for the

905
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: randomized questions. Are you ready Melissa? Okay, I'm ready? Okay.

906
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: Messy desk or clean desk? Clean dusk cleaned? Us? Mowing

907
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 1: the yard or the garden? Oh?

908
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 3: Weating?

909
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 2: Weating cookies are brownies, brownies cookies? Watch sports or play sports?

910
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 2: Watch sports?

911
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: Okay? Sun or moon moon? Ooh sun Son? Robots are dinosaurs.

912
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: Oh oh, they'll both kill us TV or movies TV TV,

913
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,760
Speaker 1: owe money or oh a favor. I'd rather owe money, honestly,

914
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,800
Speaker 1: I would. Also, I don't want to owe nobody in

915
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 1: a favorite, you know what I mean? Like, I don't

916
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna ask me to do.

917
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, It's like when school asked you to

918
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: do shit, and I'm like, can I just give you money?

919
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: Just get Can I just give you money I don't

920
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 1: want Can we.

921
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 2: All just not do this thing that we all don't

922
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 2: want to do and.

923
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 1: Just give you money? Oh my god? Would you rather

924
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: be embarrassed or be afraid?

925
00:48:53,080 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 2: I'd rather be afraid rather be be is like, wow,

926
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 2: I don't know that's and I feel like I gave

927
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 2: a tricky answer though, because it's really hard to embarrass me.

928
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's just no, no, it just means I

929
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: don't I challenge accepted. Wow. Okay, so I'll remember that.

930
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 3: Okay.

931
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: Fruits are vegetables. Vegetables. Fruits. Words are actions words. Actions.

932
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: I love romance. I mean I'm thinking about it romantically.

933
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 1: Chocolate or vanilla, vanilla.

934
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 2: Chocolate, Hot coffee or iced coffee. I know your answer

935
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 2: depends on the hot, but I did have an ice

936
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 2: latte today.

937
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 1: Oh, because it's fucking hot out, call first thing in

938
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 1: the morning or call in the middle of the night.

939
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: Let's say it's someone calling you, I'd rather call first

940
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. If it's the middle of the night,

941
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 1: that's an emergency, that's scary.

942
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, first in the morning, right, But I am talking

943
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 2: not useful for no, please don't call me for an

944
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 2: emergen the morning.

945
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 1: No, I'm going to change.

946
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 2: My answer to the middle of the night because I'm

947
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,240
Speaker 2: actually going to be more useful.

948
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: And then you'll be like, what's going on.

949
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm in, I'm locked in, I will go, I've

950
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,240
Speaker 2: got I will I'm British shovel, I will do whatever.

951
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: Would you a speeding ticket or parking ticket? Parking ticket? Yeah,

952
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to be I don't want uh uhh no.

953
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: Sneezing or coughing, ew, coughing, disgusting both of them laughing you.

954
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: I hate sneezing so much. My whole family makes fun

955
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,439
Speaker 2: of me because I will yell the F word after

956
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 2: I sneeze, because.

957
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: Everyone you like sneezed. Did you sneeze your cough like

958
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 1: right in my mouth? That one time when you were sick.

959
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

960
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 2: I just told that story on Angela Johnson's podcast. I

961
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 2: had strep throat and I laughed.

962
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 1: I didn't cough.

963
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 2: I laughed and a little bit in my mouth, a

964
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 2: tiny piece of spit went into Stephanie's mouth, and I

965
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 2: was like, for her, wedding was before your wedding or

966
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 2: before your botch Ratt party. It was right before, like

967
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 2: a wedding event. I don't remember if it was the

968
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,280
Speaker 2: wedding itself or a wedding event.

969
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 1: I conducted myself very well in that moment. I wasn't

970
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: like you did you?

971
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 2: I was like, I could tell that you maybe wanted

972
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 2: to kill me, but but exact way, what can you do?

973
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 2: What can you restrange yourself? And you think like you

974
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 2: didn't get sick? God, that was the worst case of

975
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 2: strap and I can't believed and get it.

976
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 1: I had a pimple that I manifested away the morning

977
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: of my wedding. I was like, no, you're not you're not, No,

978
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: you're not here, You're not invited to this. You have

979
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 1: to go away.

980
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 2: We're going to You're gonna go back into the body

981
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: and you're yeah at a later time.

982
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 1: And it did. It dissipated.

983
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that. Shit, that's the power of mine.

984
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 1: I do too, That's that's the power of me making

985
00:51:54,800 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: a decision. Okay, last question, Christmas or your birthday? Oh Christmas?

986
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 1: That Christmas? Yeah, listen, I love not you Juanna. Okay,

987
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,439
Speaker 1: that was fine. It reminded mad like a BuzzFeed quiz. God.

988
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,280
Speaker 1: I used to love those. Oh my god, that was fun. Well,

989
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 1: we will link that somewhere for you guys to do,

990
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: because that is a fun kind of game for people.

991
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, more better.

992
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 1: Okay, what'd you learn today? And I learned?

993
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 2: Well, I think I learned that maybe I'm better at

994
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: decisions than I thought I was when we started this conversation. Yeah,

995
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 2: and like that, there's not really a right way or

996
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 2: a wrong way to make a decision.

997
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 1: No, not really works for you. I want to start

998
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: calling this part takeaway because that's what the Brits call takeout.

999
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,319
Speaker 1: Oh we're gonna do what's your takeaways? What's your takeaways?

1000
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 1: I like that? Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. My

1001
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 1: takeaway is like, I'm not this is okay. The way

1002
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 1: that I'm doing this is all right. I don't have

1003
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 1: to get upset at it's really the judgment around the

1004
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 1: decision making. Yeah, that is the worst part. It's like

1005
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 1: me judging myself as doing a bad job on my

1006
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: trip by being a little bit paralyzed. Like, so what,

1007
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,280
Speaker 1: I still had a great day. It was really fun.

1008
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: I did stuff that like I didn't plan for but

1009
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 1: was still fun and exciting.

1010
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you were in a place where there's like

1011
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 2: too many decisions.

1012
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: It's fine.

1013
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 2: So it's fine. That was a very human reaction. Incredible

1014
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 2: an overwhelming place, New York City.

1015
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: It's not for the week. Do you feel a little

1016
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 1: more better? I always feel a little way better. Yeah,

1017
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 1: I do.

1018
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 2: I do.

1019
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: It's a good guys, season two. We're up to a

1020
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 1: great start. We're so excited to continue doing this podcast.

1021
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for listening. We're so excited to bring

1022
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: you more stuff. Please continue sending us your questions and

1023
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: stuff like that, because we love talking about it and

1024
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 1: we'd love giving advice, even though we're totally unqualified. Anyway.

1025
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 1: We'll see you guys next time. See next Dame Baby,

1026
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 1: more more better. Do you have something you'd like to

1027
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: be more better at that you want us to talk

1028
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:22,280
Speaker 1: about in a future episode?

1029
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

1030
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 2: one of our tips and tricks?

1031
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

1032
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

1033
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

1034
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's

1035
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: Mikuntura podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Beatrice, and Melissa Fumero.

1036
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,720
Speaker 1: More Better is produced by ISIS Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zabels.

1037
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Kumero, along

1038
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 2: with Wilmore Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and

1039
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 2: ISIS Madrid.

1040
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by

1041
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and

1042
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: Hello Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and

1043
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: photography by David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

1044
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever.

1045
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 2: You listen to your favorite shows. See you next week,

1046
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 2: Sugas Bye,