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Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.

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Speaker 2: It's your favorite real life Bessie's Yes we are still

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Speaker 2: single is Thelma and Louise. But on this podcast today,

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Speaker 2: we thought it would be really interesting to pivot off

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Speaker 2: of our story and bring on another non celebrity gal

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Speaker 2: who went through some serious heartbreak out of her marriage,

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Speaker 2: navigated the dating world, and has found herself happily remarried,

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Speaker 2: living her amazing Chapter two. Welcome Jennifer. Would just like

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Speaker 2: to quickly point out that Jennifer and I have been

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Speaker 2: best friends since we were in high school.

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Speaker 3: She ruled the school.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to be her and I still want to

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Speaker 2: be her because she has absolutely been I muse as

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Speaker 2: I've watched her gracefully, go through divorce, date like a fiend,

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Speaker 2: and now get remarried to the most amazing man. So Jennifer,

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Speaker 2: take it away, teach us what to do and how

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Speaker 2: we can live the life that you are living well, and.

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Speaker 1: Before we actually I want to interrupt before we begin.

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Speaker 4: I also know Jennifer through Louise, and I have not

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Speaker 4: known her nearly as long as Louise has, but have

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Speaker 4: formed a friendship with her over the last couple of

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Speaker 4: years and really only know her in her life today,

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Speaker 4: so don't know well, I've heard, but don't know a

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Speaker 4: lot about her history. So this is going to be

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Speaker 4: equally as interesting to me as it hopefully will be

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Speaker 4: to all of you listeners. Jennifer getting to your story,

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Speaker 4: take us back to the beginning and tell us a

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Speaker 4: little bit about your love journey and your chapter one.

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Speaker 5: Okay, first off, I just need you both to know

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Speaker 5: you could give my eulogy.

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Speaker 2: Well, let's hope you're not going anywhere unbelievable. We're not

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Speaker 2: doing life without you, but carry on.

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Speaker 5: All right, Okay, in a like a cliff note version.

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Speaker 5: I was married young, but back then it didn't feel young.

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Speaker 5: So I was married, had two kids, fully in love

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Speaker 5: with my husband at the time, and after about six

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Speaker 5: years marriage, ten years together, we have two kids in

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Speaker 5: diapers and I wake up one day.

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Speaker 1: It's important to give some color to the age.

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Speaker 2: What age were you when you got married and how

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Speaker 2: old were your babies when all this was going on.

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Speaker 5: So I was married at twenty six, I had children

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Speaker 5: at twenty eight and thirty. When I woke up one

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Speaker 5: day and realized the marriage was over, I had an

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Speaker 5: eleven month old.

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Speaker 1: And one and a half year old, right, yes.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so I had like a two and an eleven

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Speaker 3: month old.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's definitely the clipnote version. Take us back

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Speaker 4: a little bit.

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Speaker 1: How was your marriage so prior.

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Speaker 5: To I would say it was a healthy relationship that

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Speaker 5: had its normal problems, certainly nothing that I ever saw coming.

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Speaker 5: That we were you know that we were done. But

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Speaker 5: when you go through a process like that throughout the

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Speaker 5: next months and years, you start things start to click

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Speaker 5: and you go, oh, okay, I'm reading now I understand

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Speaker 5: what that was where I didn't understand to look for

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Speaker 5: certain things at the time.

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Speaker 1: But what were what were some of the normal problems.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's see.

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Speaker 5: So I have a pew, kids and diapers, and we

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Speaker 5: didn't have sex enough. We I wasn't emotionally affectionate enough.

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Speaker 2: That according to him or how you felt towards him,

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Speaker 2: that you weren't bringing me you know, this.

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Speaker 5: Was according to him, and why he left me, So

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Speaker 5: I you know, of course all those things. It's kind

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Speaker 5: of like when you're younger and someone a teacher or

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Speaker 5: a family member tells you something and it sticks with

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Speaker 5: you for the rest of your life. So now here

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Speaker 5: I am when I find out why he's left me

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Speaker 5: or his reason for why he left me, I'm now

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Speaker 5: all messed up in my head because I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I'm not affectionate enough, I'm not emotionally available enough, we're

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Speaker 5: not having sex enough. So I was using all of

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Speaker 5: those is like why I wasn't a good enough wife

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Speaker 5: and why he left me? Did you think you were

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Speaker 5: having problems or were.

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Speaker 1: You kind of in la la land about it?

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Speaker 2: And we're completely surprised because everything you just said were

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Speaker 2: basically kind of complaints.

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Speaker 1: He was blaming you for.

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Speaker 5: I remember speaking to one of my friends that I'm

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Speaker 5: very close with and telling her that I wasn't very

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Speaker 5: happy about how I was feeling. I wasn't I was

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Speaker 5: not sure what I was feeling. I just knew I

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Speaker 5: wasn't totally happy. And one of the things, the main

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Speaker 5: thing I thought was we have two kids, and diapers

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Speaker 5: were really busy, and right now some of our own

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Speaker 5: one on one relationship is going to be on the

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Speaker 5: back burner because here we are, like, you know, racing

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Speaker 5: around with you know, this one needs diaper change, this

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Speaker 5: one needs a feeding, like you just life is.

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Speaker 3: It was hectic at that time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't always see yourself or your relationship, at

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Speaker 4: least in the short term. With young children, maybe is

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Speaker 4: the priority. And so it's hard to make sense. Is

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Speaker 4: this a relationship issue or just a time of life

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Speaker 4: change in our relationship?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I didn't.

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Speaker 5: You know, I will take credit in maybe I didn't

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Speaker 5: give him the kind of attention he needed, but I

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Speaker 5: didn't know I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: So you began to sense the you know, the unraveling

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Speaker 1: was happening.

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Speaker 2: But you know, everything had the babies, you just bought

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Speaker 2: that brand new house, and.

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Speaker 5: By the way, there was no one raveling. That's the

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Speaker 5: part that was so crazy is that I literally was

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Speaker 5: like I thought I was going crazy when he basically

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Speaker 5: told me he was leaving, Well, he didn't.

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Speaker 3: Tell me who was leaving.

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Speaker 1: He gaslated you. He was a trainer and you.

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Speaker 2: Helped him through a relationship land what became his biggest client. Now,

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Speaker 2: as listeners, do we all see where this is going?

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Speaker 6: Probably not.

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Speaker 1: So let's hear it from you, Jennifer.

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Speaker 6: So what happened? So to speak? Like how did this

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Speaker 6: bomb go off?

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Speaker 5: So again, you know, I think a few months before

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Speaker 5: I found out, I remember being on a trip with

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Speaker 5: him and realizing that we weren't connecting. And the one

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Speaker 5: thing I always knew about our relationship was we always connected.

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Speaker 5: It just took a minute if we were busy with

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Speaker 5: our lives. But when we would go out to a

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Speaker 5: party or go out to dinner with a couple, we'd

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Speaker 5: come home and like regroup to our what our night

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Speaker 5: was like, even though we were experiencing the night differently.

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Speaker 5: And whenever we went on trips, we really bonded.

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Speaker 3: And so we went on this trip and I.

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Speaker 5: Came home and I remember coming downstairs and saying to him,

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Speaker 5: we didn't bond on this trip.

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Speaker 3: You were so distant.

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Speaker 5: Something wasn't right. I don't feel good at all. And

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Speaker 5: one of the things we used to do is play

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Speaker 5: rummyque and so I remember going upstairs and being sad.

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Speaker 5: And then he came downstairs and he had the rummy

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Speaker 5: que out on the kitchen table, like he was extending

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Speaker 5: an olive branch to our conversation.

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Speaker 3: So here I was thinking, Okay, he.

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Speaker 5: Acknowledges that we weren't vibing on this trip, and he's

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Speaker 5: trying to make better for it, and like, you know,

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Speaker 5: make make it go away, Like let's start from here.

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Speaker 5: So for me, there was no awareness of that he

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Speaker 5: was having issues with me.

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Speaker 1: But was he staying out? Was he coming home late?

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Speaker 5: Like, well, I guess when you are somebody who has

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Speaker 5: a day job as a trainer. He was home at night,

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Speaker 5: so it was the daytime that I would have no

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Speaker 5: idea to question where he was and all of that.

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Speaker 5: But there was one moment that we were at we

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Speaker 5: were at an amusement park and we ran into the

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Speaker 5: person that he had started to train when all of

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Speaker 5: this distance started to take place, and I thought that

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Speaker 5: was very weird that we ran into her, only because

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Speaker 5: if he wasn't with me at this amusement park and

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Speaker 5: one of my boys, then he would have been seeing

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Speaker 5: her to train her that day, so there had to

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Speaker 5: be some sort of awareness of what their day was.

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Speaker 2: I think at this point, let's just rip the band

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Speaker 2: aid off on that and quickly say that he started.

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Speaker 1: Having an affair with this person.

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Speaker 2: So can you tell us about how you found out

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Speaker 2: kind of what happened, how the explosion happened, Because it

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Speaker 2: was a shock, the babies were young. I watched all

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Speaker 2: of this, so why don't you share with our listeners

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Speaker 2: what happened?

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Speaker 5: So I remember, you know, not to get like I mean,

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Speaker 5: I could tell you the day, and I can tell

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Speaker 5: you the time, the actual time of day, and what

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Speaker 5: I was doing in my kitchen when this happened. And

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Speaker 5: I remember it was probably the second or third time

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Speaker 5: in that process of about a month and a half

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Speaker 5: that I said to him on the phone, because he

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Speaker 5: was on his way to go train his client. I said,

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Speaker 5: I'm not happy, and it wasn't the first time I

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Speaker 5: said it to him. And this time, instead of him

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Speaker 5: gaslighting me, bringing out the rummy cue table, you know, game,

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Speaker 5: telling me nothing's wrong, he said on the other line,

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Speaker 5: neither am I, and those three words.

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Speaker 3: Right then and there, I knew my marriage was over.

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Speaker 5: And I remember saying, you need to come home and

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Speaker 5: I and we need to talk about this.

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Speaker 3: And I remember him saying to me, I.

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Speaker 5: Can't right now, like there were other priorities, which to

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Speaker 5: me was baffling, because how could there be anything else

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Speaker 5: important other than God forbid something happens to your child.

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Speaker 5: You come home after a conversation like that, And he

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Speaker 5: he finished his day or his client and then came home.

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Speaker 3: Obviously it makes sense now what he was doing. But

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Speaker 3: when he came home.

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Speaker 5: I kind of grilled him like is there another person? No,

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Speaker 5: there's no other person, is there?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: What is going on? I don't understand?

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Speaker 5: And he just told me that he wasn't happy, but

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Speaker 5: you couldn't tell me why he wasn't happy. And so

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Speaker 5: I can't remember exactly the chronological way it came about,

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Speaker 5: but it definitely, you know, lended itself to I'm not affectionate,

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Speaker 5: I'm not emotionally available, that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: And again it didn't line up because.

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Speaker 5: We I mean, we were celebrating our tenure together and

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Speaker 5: we kept the same anniversaries or as a wedding date,

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Speaker 5: so we were celebrating almost seven years of marriage, whatever

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Speaker 5: the years were. So for me, I couldn't make sense

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Speaker 5: of it. I mean I went so far as to like,

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Speaker 5: heck the vitamins he was taking? Like is he is

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Speaker 5: there something wrong? I couldn't make sense of it.

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Speaker 4: Well, because you would ask the questions, you'd ask the

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Speaker 4: poignant questions, and it sounds like they weren't He didn't

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Speaker 4: really answer them.

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Speaker 6: He kind of put them back on you.

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Speaker 2: That's what they all do, right, I mean, all these

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Speaker 2: men get caught, they they flip it around and they

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Speaker 2: say no, you didn't do this, or you didn't you know,

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Speaker 2: you didn't show me the love or the affections.

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Speaker 1: They try to like deflect it. Did you did you.

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Speaker 2: Ever, like from when you found out versus you know,

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Speaker 2: having a weird feeling, were you doing any like snooping

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Speaker 2: or kind of searching around or obviously there was no

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Speaker 2: life three sixty or anything.

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Speaker 5: Well, so remember this is two thousand and two, so

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Speaker 5: we didn't have the same like texting hadn't even really

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Speaker 5: happened yet, so it was different. So the only thing

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Speaker 5: I could have done is waited for a bill to

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Speaker 5: come in the mail for credit card, and it didn't

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Speaker 5: even dawn on me to do that, so we didn't

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Speaker 5: have that kind of snooping around.

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Speaker 3: However, I do remember, well, I.

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Speaker 5: Do remember seeing one credit card bill, but it was

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Speaker 5: after I had already found out, so it was irrelevant.

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Speaker 5: And it was flowers, and I knew they weren't for me,

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Speaker 5: but at that point it was just another like, you know,

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Speaker 5: pain in my heart, but I had already.

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Speaker 1: Known at that point, how did you actually find out?

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Speaker 5: So he we had friends that we shared, but most

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Speaker 5: we both came to the table with you know, I

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Speaker 5: came with a lot of friends, and he came with

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Speaker 5: a small group of friends. And I always kept my

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Speaker 5: distance from some of his friends because I knew about

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Speaker 5: certain things that I just I always thought it was

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Speaker 5: a little safer that, like, they were his friends. Plus

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Speaker 5: I have so many friends, it was good for him

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Speaker 5: to have his own friends. But there was one friend

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Speaker 5: that I became friendly with, the wife and prior to

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Speaker 5: us splitting about probably several years before, they had had

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Speaker 5: a marriage miss miss like.

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Speaker 3: They definitely had a moment hiccup.

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Speaker 5: And while that was happening, my husband asked me if

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Speaker 5: the husband could live with us, and of course we

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Speaker 5: had the space, and he lived with us, and thankfully

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Speaker 5: they worked out their marriage. They had a young kid

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Speaker 5: in diapers at the time, and so living with us

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Speaker 5: helped him get back on his feet with what he

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Speaker 5: needed to do in his marriage.

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Speaker 3: So they are still together.

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Speaker 5: And what happened was for about two weeks from that

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Speaker 5: day that he told me he wasn't happy, and me

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Speaker 5: trying to figure out, like, is this a midlife crisis?

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Speaker 5: There's not another person, he said, what is happening? What

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Speaker 5: is my role in this? What can I do to

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Speaker 5: make it better? He went and he stayed with a

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Speaker 5: mutual family friend and I about twelve days into this nightmare,

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Speaker 5: I get a phone call and it's from this couple

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Speaker 5: and the husband had told the wife, and the wife

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Speaker 5: was like, she helped us during our hardest times. Got

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Speaker 5: to know that she came and she said, he's having

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Speaker 5: an affair with this person.

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Speaker 1: Oh, were you sucker punched?

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Speaker 5: It didn't surprise me, but it gutted me. So I

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Speaker 5: don't know. I mean, I knew there was an inkling

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Speaker 5: of something wasn't right with this person in him. But

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Speaker 5: when he told me that there was no affair, I

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Speaker 5: believed him.

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Speaker 3: I really did. I did not think he was a liar.

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Speaker 1: And you wanted to believe him, right.

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Speaker 2: We all have that kind of voice in our head

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Speaker 2: where something just kind of raises the hairs on our neck.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time we choose to not want

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Speaker 2: to see things or we want to believe somebody's words.

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Speaker 2: Because your whole life, as you knew with young it

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Speaker 2: was getting blown up, you know, saying like, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean absolutely blown up.

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Speaker 5: And one of the things I'll say is I also

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Speaker 5: come from you know, my parents now have been together

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Speaker 5: over sixty two years, and yes they've had problems, and

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Speaker 5: yes they've you know, I don't know everything that's happened

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Speaker 5: in their marriage, but I always I came from stability

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Speaker 5: of this, this, this example of two people that truly

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Speaker 5: loved and liked each other, and so getting cheated on

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Speaker 5: was like not in my repertoire.

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Speaker 2: I need to now bring something up because it's something

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Speaker 2: you and I have now since discussed and we look

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Speaker 2: at it differently.

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Speaker 6: Yes, I don't know if you know what I'm not.

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Speaker 3: I know what you're gonna say.

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Speaker 2: So when you met him train her husband, yep, Yep,

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Speaker 2: he was well finishing a relationship. Yep, it was still

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Speaker 2: in a relationship. And I always believe once a cheater,

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Speaker 2: always a cheater. And you said, well, he younger and

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Speaker 2: we were kids, and you know it's different.

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Speaker 1: It's like no, no, no, no, no, that was his pattern.

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Speaker 1: That was still his pattern.

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Speaker 2: And quite frankly, when we tell our listeners what's going

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Speaker 2: on now, I think it's still his pattern.

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Speaker 5: And I don't, but I hear you and agree with

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Speaker 5: you what I would say, and I just as bad

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Speaker 5: as it is that it's like, oh, he was with

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Speaker 5: somebody when I met him. I was twenty one, and

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Speaker 5: he was telling me he was not going to be

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Speaker 5: with her anymore, and I said, I'm not going to

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Speaker 5: be with anybody while they're with somebody. But we did

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Speaker 5: form an emotional relationship in that process without things happening.

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Speaker 5: But at twenty one, you don't know better.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't a comment on you, no more me identifying

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Speaker 2: a potential red flag in him. That was maybe just

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Speaker 2: you know, in hindsight, you say to yourself, hmm.

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Speaker 3: It makes total sense.

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Speaker 5: But I guess were you and I differ about the

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Speaker 5: once a cheater, always a cheater.

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Speaker 3: Is I do believe that I did, for you.

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Speaker 5: Know, the twenty years they were together, I did believe

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Speaker 5: that he really wouldn't do that. And I don't know

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Speaker 5: if he did or didn't, But I do believe that

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Speaker 5: as we get older and our relationships and life gets on,

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Speaker 5: I do believe that affairs happen for different reasons. So

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Speaker 5: you have couples, and I know some of them who

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Speaker 5: they're not.

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Speaker 3: They're not sexually.

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Speaker 5: Involved with each other anymore, but they love each other,

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Speaker 5: so they stay together.

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Speaker 3: For that reason.

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Speaker 5: And one of the people in the relationship doesn't want

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Speaker 5: to have sex. I mean I've even said to some

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Speaker 5: of the people I know, guys and girls in this

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Speaker 5: situation where I'm like, if they did step out of

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Speaker 5: their marriage, it wouldn't be the same version of an

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Speaker 5: affair that I think what he did to.

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Speaker 2: Me at the time, there's there's you know, a lot

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Speaker 2: of ways to skin skin that cat.

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Speaker 1: But so she hit the fan for you, big hit.

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Speaker 2: And what I remember watching because I think this is

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Speaker 2: kind of like really heartbreaking, bad situation. But what I

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Speaker 2: appreciated about you is you hit the ground running on

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Speaker 2: the dating thing. Now, it was probably a reaction to

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Speaker 2: the rejection and how you were feeling, and you wanted

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Speaker 2: to rip that bandy down quickly, and you were like

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Speaker 2: spinning and spiraling and you were literally juggling so much.

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Speaker 1: But you, I think within.

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Speaker 2: The first month on one on a date, multiple dates

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Speaker 2: correct a week later.

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Speaker 4: Wait, I want to take a step back though for

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Speaker 4: a second. I know this is maybe not a popular

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Speaker 4: thing to say, but Dan, you are a smart, capable woman,

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Speaker 4: and even if you did have two small children and

356
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Speaker 4: might have been, you know, in a fog raising kids

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Speaker 4: at the time, was there any part of you that

358
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Speaker 4: when you found out relief probably is not the right word,

359
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 4: but in a way like Okay, I'm not crazy, and

360
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Speaker 4: now I have to deal, you know, with this, and

361
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Speaker 4: at least I know, like because I think so much

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Speaker 4: of it often can be the not knowing and thinking

363
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Speaker 4: you're going crazy and so what do you do because

364
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Speaker 4: you don't have the information.

365
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Speaker 5: I think that getting the information was an aha, not

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Speaker 5: even an aha moment, but a It clarified things for me,

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Speaker 5: But then it brought in a whole other level of

368
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Speaker 5: spitch for me that I couldn't. I didn't for those

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Speaker 5: two weeks, wasn't even thinking.

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Speaker 6: About so like tell us, tell us more you know

371
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Speaker 6: about that?

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Speaker 5: Well, just now your brain is like, Okay, he's with

373
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Speaker 5: this woman. My kids are in diapers, she's going to

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Speaker 5: raise them.

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Speaker 3: Uh, you know I have to sell the house. Uh

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Speaker 3: what am I going to do?

377
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Speaker 5: You know, my job doesn't make enough money, but I

378
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Speaker 5: love what I do. I just now have to kick

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Speaker 5: it into gear, like your life kind of last years

380
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Speaker 5: in front of you, Like what am I going to do?

381
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Speaker 5: And I've got two kids in diapers? And who's going

382
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Speaker 5: to want to date? Who's going to want to date

383
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Speaker 5: a girl with two kids and diapers?

384
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Speaker 1: Good point?

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Speaker 6: How old were you at the time.

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Speaker 1: Do you know thirty one okay, I is so young?

387
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Speaker 5: Yeah, uh, thirty one to thirty two okay.

388
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Speaker 4: So Louise alluded to the fact that you hit the

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Speaker 4: dating scenes. So in the midst of your crazy probably

390
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Speaker 4: you know, no, no sleeping and your mind going a

391
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 4: mile a minute on what your life looked like. Practically speaking,

392
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Speaker 4: it sounds like you started dating.

393
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Speaker 5: I started dating. I slept with somebody probably the first

394
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Speaker 5: two weeks into this, and I remember it was so.

395
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Speaker 1: Bad, unlike her nun like friends Alma. Louise, Well, here's.

396
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Speaker 5: The thing at but but you got to remember I

397
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Speaker 5: was with I was in relationships from like fifteen on,

398
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Speaker 5: so I never got to like sexually experienced. I was

399
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 5: experiencing a lot of different experiences.

400
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Speaker 4: And how'd you like it? I mean, were you having fun?

401
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 4: Were you doing that and then going home and crying?

402
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 4: Or was it like Actually, so the.

403
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Speaker 3: First point is the best I'm dating this guy.

404
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: Well on just interrupt were your kids going back and

405
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: forth between both houses? So you had fifty percent of

406
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 2: the time to kind of.

407
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 5: At the time before anything happened. It went seventy thirty

408
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 5: because we had to go through mediation and all that

409
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Speaker 5: before I was going to just give up more time

410
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Speaker 5: with the kids. But I did have parents who were

411
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Speaker 5: right up the street from me. So if it was

412
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Speaker 5: a Thursday night and I would let the kids go

413
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Speaker 5: to sleep, I and they, you know, be with a

414
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 5: family member or somebody who was in my home, so

415
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 5: it wasn't like I was leaving them. I was part

416
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Speaker 5: of the day, and then I could go out where

417
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Speaker 5: I didn't have to introduce anybody to them.

418
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Speaker 4: How did you meet people, because did online dating even exist?

419
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Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, the only thing that existed was Jada and

420
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 5: Match and it was so so new. You didn't have Facebook,

421
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 5: you didn't have any of that. So it was just

422
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Speaker 5: Match and Jada and you couldn't verify.

423
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Speaker 1: You really couldn't verify people.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and when I well, the first date that I

425
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Speaker 5: had had nothing to do with any of these apps.

426
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 5: I in the beginning, I was being set up. And

427
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 5: this first day, this poor guy, he was so lovely.

428
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 5: He would if I had like something, a furniture that

429
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 5: needed to be moved, he'd come and move it. She

430
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 5: was so good looking, and he was younger than me,

431
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Speaker 5: and I'm not into younger guys, but this guy. It

432
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 5: was the first when we the first time we slept together,

433
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Speaker 5: I just started bawling in front of him. Sure it

434
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 5: was so awful because all I wanted to do was

435
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 5: be home And I remember as we started dating, he

436
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 5: slept over once on a week and that my kids

437
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 5: weren't here. And in the morning he said to me,

438
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 5: do you eat breakfast? And I was like, yeah, like

439
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 5: why and he's like, well, I don't know, do you.

440
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 3: You know, do you want a breakfast or whatever?

441
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 5: And the way I reacted to him, he looked at

442
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Speaker 5: me and he said, wow, if that wasn't here's some

443
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 5: eggs in a big.

444
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: Cup of get the fuck out of here.

445
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 5: And I was like, I'm so glad you get it,

446
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 5: Like yeah, like I want you out, I want like

447
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 5: nothing to do with you right now.

448
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,439
Speaker 4: And there's a part of you that wants to move on,

449
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 4: and like that's that's your right.

450
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,479
Speaker 5: You know. During the day, I think I was really

451
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 5: emotionally distraught, lived a rejection feeling all day long.

452
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 4: So there was kind of a duality to your life

453
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 4: going on at this point, right, like totally all like.

454
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: A major duality that is so beyond painful. In addition

455
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 2: to her you know, dealing with the fact of the

456
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 2: infidelity and a rejection and having to navigate dating and

457
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 2: still having heartbreak. There was another woman who was mothering

458
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 2: her children in diapers, very different than a fifteen year

459
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: old kid who's dealing with the stepmom. I mean, I

460
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: never got over the stories you told me, like I

461
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 2: was seeing red.

462
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 5: And I was always so impressed.

463
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 2: With how you stayed high when I would have want

464
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: to ripped, I would have ripped my child off of

465
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 2: her lap.

466
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: So you had a lot on.

467
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 2: Your plate that was painful, uncomfortable, unchartered territory. And I

468
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 2: just want to compliment you, Jennifer, because you always do

469
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 2: wow me with how you hat no genuinely the.

470
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 5: One thing I would say that I've learned at looking

471
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 5: back on it and have some humility in I did

472
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 5: with some of these guys' heads, because I would get

473
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 5: a drink in me, see them at night and be

474
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 5: in it, and then in the morning I'd want to

475
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 5: be out of it. And I think I really messed

476
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 5: with their heads, and I think I hurt people and

477
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 5: used them, and at the time I didn't know that's

478
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 5: what I was doing, But looking back on it, I

479
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 5: definitely played a role in not, you know, behaving the

480
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 5: way I would want someone to treat me.

481
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 4: Do you feel like you did that because it was

482
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 4: again the duality of your life where it's like you

483
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 4: wanted the freedom and the lightness at night and then

484
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 4: the heaviness of the day.

485
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: Or do you feel like you inherently at.

486
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 4: The time were kind of having trust issues with men

487
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 4: and just weren't going to ever let yourself or let

488
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 4: your guards down and creating a wall.

489
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 5: You know, I didn't have trust issues with men because

490
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 5: I didn't. I only found myself in relationships. And this

491
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 5: is what's interesting because this is where your I do

492
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 5: part two comes in for you girls dating and not

493
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 5: that you don't know this, but I I realized that

494
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 5: all of these men that really were giving me their

495
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 5: attention and wanting relationships, I think they wanted the relationships

496
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 5: because I couldn't care less. I could take it or

497
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 5: leave it, and so that was what was attractive to them,

498
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 5: and that is why they were still in it because

499
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 5: I didn't care it, didn't need them.

500
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: You were like the dude in the relationship I was.

501
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 5: I was, and I didn't know it at the time.

502
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 5: I just now when I looked back on all of

503
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 5: those pieces of my life, I realized, Yeah, they wanted

504
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 5: me because they couldn't have.

505
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 4: Me if you were unavailable. You can't fake that, you know,

506
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 4: it's just it is or it isn't.

507
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 7: Yeah, So tell us about how you met your current

508
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 7: love and how long it took, you know, just briefly,

509
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 7: like you dated around.

510
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 5: I dated for like, let's see, I dated for about

511
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 5: five years and then one day Father's Day and I

512
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 5: was coming home from Malibi.

513
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 3: When I was in the back seat of my.

514
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 5: Parents' car, and out of nowhere, one of my parents said, oh,

515
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,959
Speaker 5: so and so gave your number to this guy. And

516
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 5: I remember thinking, okay, whatever, I'll never hear from him,

517
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 5: so it didn't matter.

518
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 3: And then I remember walking.

519
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 5: My parents dropped me off, and I came into the

520
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 5: house and my health phone rang and I answered it

521
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 5: and it was this guy, and I was thinking to myself, really,

522
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 5: first of all, I had a BlackBerry, so he called

523
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 5: me on my house phone, which I thought was wild,

524
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 5: But then again, who gave him my number was an

525
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 5: older person, so they're going to go with the house phone.

526
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: He's had a really good phone. And then we ran

527
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 3: on our first.

528
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: Date well, he's a babe, and he's funny.

529
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 5: He's very funny, very relevant of humor, back kind of guy,

530
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 5: full integrity, more than I've ever seen.

531
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 2: But it was a slow burn for you, which is

532
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: an obden because this is a lesson You're always trying

533
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: to teach me and to teach.

534
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: Thellman to teach other people.

535
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 2: Is you know, the slow burn sometimes has the staying power,

536
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: and it's the integrity and all of those kind of

537
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 2: characteristics which are so much more important than the immediate

538
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: butterfly or the whatever the spark you feel or the

539
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: things that you think are important that really aren't.

540
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 1: So talk a little bit about him, and it was

541
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: it was a slat.

542
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 5: I remember when he.

543
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: Proposed to you, you were you had some pause.

544
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, And I knew I didn't want to give

545
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 5: the relationship up and if you say no, then where

546
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 5: do you go from there? But I also knew that

547
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 5: I wanted him in my life, and so I had

548
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 5: to really think about that. But it was, you know,

549
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 5: me to him that first night at dinner, he like

550
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 5: interrogated me. He's so bad on dates.

551
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 3: But he was so funny. I remember going home, I remember.

552
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: Calling my mom in the car saying, yeah, there was

553
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: a great date.

554
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 5: He's really handsome. I'll never hear from him again. And

555
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 5: she's like, why I said, I'm too old for him,

556
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 5: because he's ten years older than me. But at the time,

557
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 5: you know, he could have had, you know, girls in

558
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 5: their thirties, and that's just the real I was in

559
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 5: my thirties, you know what I mean, girls in their twenties,

560
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 5: and he you know, it's just a double standard. And

561
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 5: so I just thought I'd never hear from him. And

562
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 5: the next morning I opened up my BlackBerry and there

563
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 5: was a text that made me laugh, and I was like, Okay,

564
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 5: I'm into it.

565
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 3: I'm in this.

566
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 6: And we always say how important laughter is.

567
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: It's my favorite thing, so important. I mean, it's like,

568
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: and he.

569
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 5: Makes me he's funny. He's funny, and that is something

570
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 5: that like when somebody says, like, what are your favorite

571
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 5: qualities about him? You know, everybody's always alwayways, but the

572
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 5: funny And yes, I know he's handsome. I'm not discrediting that.

573
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 5: And yes, what I've ended up with him if he

574
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 5: wasn't handsome, I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten

575
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 5: to the next steps with him. But certainly that is

576
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 5: not what our relationship is about.

577
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 2: And it's been seventeen years, sixteen, sixteen years, And what

578
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: I have witnessed just in being in your lives, and

579
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 2: I know what you've also shared is his integrity has

580
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 2: continued every day because he really and I think it's

581
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: important to talk about how he really stepped up in

582
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: a meaningful way as a co parent to your children.

583
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: And what really mattered to me he brought to the table.

584
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 4: And you always say that I think what I'm marvel

585
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 4: at is that you obviously your first chapter was a huge,

586
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 4: you know, a huge pivot and in your life that

587
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 4: you never expected.

588
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 6: But yet you have been able to.

589
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: Go on and date and get married and.

590
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 4: Having been, you know, through a divorce myself, I think

591
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 4: time is the greatest healer and everybody wants to expedite that,

592
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 4: and you just can't to a certain extent. But what

593
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 4: other things or advice would you give to people that

594
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 4: are struggling kind of post divorce right now?

595
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 6: Like, what advice would you give to them?

596
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 4: And what do you think helped you, you know, remain

597
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 4: open to finding love and dating again.

598
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 5: Well, I feel like even though I always felt like

599
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 5: I was walking around with like that scarlet letter on

600
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 5: me that I was left. I was the girl that

601
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 5: you know here, I was at you know, a school

602
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 5: where all the kids in kindergarten and first grade and

603
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 5: second grade, and my kids were like everybody's parents were married.

604
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 5: And I always felt like I had this this like

605
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 5: this thing I was carrying with me that I walked

606
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 5: around during the day as somebody who was left. And

607
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 5: I think that was something that I brought to my

608
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 5: inner core.

609
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 3: But I didn't present that on my dates, and.

610
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: When I was one, you never did.

611
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 5: But I carried it inside my core. And so for me,

612
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 5: I am a slow learner, so it took me, I

613
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 5: would say, just till COVID. So that's what four years

614
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 5: ago when it finally clicked that this wasn't.

615
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 3: A me issue. I played a part in it of

616
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 3: all the.

617
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 5: Stuff that happened through those you know, years of raising

618
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 5: my kids with him and having to go through that

619
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 5: very difficult process, but it wasn't a me issue. And

620
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 5: I always thought it was. I thought I was the

621
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 5: bad person in I wasn't handling it well. I was

622
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 5: creating more drama than needed to be and some of

623
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 5: it I was but I finally realized something clicked about

624
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 5: four years ago. I saw him at a parking lot

625
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 5: and it just dawned on me.

626
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 3: Oh no, this is a hymn issue.

627
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 5: This is who he is or was, and who he

628
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 5: is with me, and I've allowed him to dictate how

629
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 5: I feel about myself. And I finally woke up that day.

630
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 5: I remember coming home going It's like I just purged

631
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,959
Speaker 5: all that stuff I held about me and was able

632
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 5: to actually feel and work on me for the first time.

633
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 6: That must be, I mean, so freeing.

634
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 4: And it kind of segues, I feel like into our

635
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 4: next topic, which you may know what that is. But

636
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 4: in a strange turn of events, right, your ex husband

637
00:34:55,920 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 4: recently and did his relationationship with the woman who helped facilitate.

638
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 6: The end of the home Wrecker.

639
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 2: We're going to call her the HOMEWRECKERP stop stop sorry

640
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 2: home wrecker.

641
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 4: Tell us a little bit more about that and some

642
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 4: the irony here.

643
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 5: I would say throughout all these you know, I call

644
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 5: it twenty years because really I think about it was

645
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 5: twenty years in this process of their relationship, and.

646
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 3: There were times where the two of us.

647
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 5: We always you know, we always did birthday dinners, graduations,

648
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 5: important things we would do together.

649
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: And you always showed up with a smile on your face,

650
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 2: and you were so mature and so gracious because you

651
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 2: did not want your children to suffer.

652
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 5: And the truth is, my kids were going to pick

653
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 5: up on stuff regardless. I mean, there's only so much

654
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,479
Speaker 5: we can hide from our kids, and depending on their age.

655
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 3: I was lucky that my kids were the age they were,

656
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:05,919
Speaker 3: so I.

657
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 5: Was able to navigate that a lot easier than other

658
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 5: people we know who go through this with their kids

659
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 5: being of a different age. So I would say that

660
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 5: throughout the years, we were either hot and cold with

661
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 5: each other.

662
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 3: There'd be times where my ex and I were fine

663
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 3: with each other.

664
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 5: We're never great with each other, but we'd be fine,

665
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,760
Speaker 5: and then there were times when we were not fine

666
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 5: at all. And I'm sure she had to feed off

667
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 5: of that and navigate and was also only hearing his

668
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 5: version of what was going on, although she was strivy

669
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 5: to the emails and the bullshit.

670
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 3: That we did, but.

671
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 5: She was coming from his place and she needed to

672
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 5: support him. But what I would say is I would

673
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 5: say to you, Louise, I would say like.

674
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I could see us.

675
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 5: Being friends if we didn't have this situation, and you'd like,

676
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 5: out of your mind, like what, like that's not possible.

677
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 5: But I always knew that we had. We were comfortable,

678
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 5: awkwardly a comfortable renditions.

679
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 6: I says a lot.

680
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 2: About you, because there are many women who are in

681
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 2: this situation that can't even be in the same room

682
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 2: as somebody. And it's just a testament to who you are.

683
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 2: But it's interesting because now that their relationship has ended and.

684
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: Life is full circle.

685
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: Yes, and you know your kids have obviously remained close

686
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 2: to her because she did be you know, she was

687
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: a part of you know, parenting them for twenty years.

688
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: But I just find it so fascinating what is going

689
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 2: on with the two of you if you share their listeners,

690
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 2: because I think this is so interesting, and I think

691
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: you know, for people of experiences and maybe in the

692
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 2: throes of a situation like this, you know to see

693
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:59,839
Speaker 2: how life can change and in the most unexpected circumstances, you.

694
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: Have a new friend and a new auty.

695
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: And and I also think please bring up to everybody

696
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 2: that like the story she was told was different than

697
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: what happened.

698
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: It was different than the story he told you.

699
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 5: Huh, And I think I think she We ran into

700
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 5: each other several months ago and we had a conversation,

701
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 5: and that conversation led into her calling me after the conversation,

702
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 5: like fifteen minutes later and having a little bit more

703
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 5: of a conversation, and then when I hung up, I

704
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 5: had said to her, if you ever.

705
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 3: Want to grab a drink, I'm available.

706
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 5: And I think somehow within a few weeks later she

707
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 5: may have texted me and that was my opportunity to

708
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 5: basically ask her out for dinner.

709
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: Did you offer that as some version of a closure

710
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 2: that you needed or were you offering it to be,

711
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 2: you know, an ear for her to talk to.

712
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,959
Speaker 5: I think as a combination, because I had already made

713
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 5: my own closure, so I didn't need it so much,

714
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 5: but I would have loved if I was given that

715
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 5: at the time. And one of the things that she

716
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 5: said to me after our first dinner, our first.

717
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 1: Date, how many have you had now?

718
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:12,720
Speaker 3: I think four or five?

719
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 1: I mean, you're almost exclusive at this point. You're going

720
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: to join our girls dinner soon. You don't want to

721
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: sit her at a table with a few of us,

722
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: but go on, do your kids know that you guys?

723
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 6: Oh?

724
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, No, we definitely talk to the kids.

725
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 5: The kids are too old to not know, and they

726
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 5: actually are very happy about it.

727
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: Does your ex husband know.

728
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 5: Well, I'll share that in a second. But what we've

729
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 5: given each other is forgiveness. We've given each other a space.

730
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 3: To feel.

731
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 5: Seen and heard, and it's safe, hopefully to share the

732
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 5: pain we've both experienced, and that very few people can

733
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 5: experience that kind of pain.

734
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 3: And I think it is been healing more so for

735
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 3: her to be able to have that.

736
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 2: But I also think it gives honestly, because she's heartbroken,

737
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 2: well we assume, we assume, yeah, okay, and she loved him,

738
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 2: And I also think if I were in her seat

739
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 2: and I would see that the beautiful life that you created,

740
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 2: you know, and the phoenix out of the ashes, it

741
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: would give me hope that I too can experience, you know,

742
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 2: another chapter after what happened to her, And I think

743
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,320
Speaker 2: that that's part of it also.

744
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 4: Well, and I think as a side note, do you

745
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 4: remember a couple of weeks ago you also said, oh,

746
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 4: we should set her up with this stuff, which I

747
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 4: was like, wow, I mean that if that is not

748
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 4: the kindest person I've ever met, Yes, but that's not

749
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 4: a light note, but more seriously, when Louise said, you know, Jennifer,

750
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 4: if that had happened to a lot of people your story,

751
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 4: never would they have been kind or welcoming or any

752
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 4: of those things to the X and the ex's partner.

753
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 4: But I think that I think that you are such

754
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 4: an example because so often the anger that we hold

755
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 4: when we are going through a divorce, we fail to

756
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 4: realize that it's like that anger is just a.

757
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: Cancer in us and it's punishing ourselves.

758
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 4: And it's really easy to say, you know, oh, move on,

759
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 4: but it's like it's when that miracle happens that you

760
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 4: finally can let go and you realize that you're like,

761
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 4: I'm just punishing myself and keeping myself in this folding

762
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 4: pattern by staying angry and giving the other person and

763
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 4: the event and all of it like more at your time.

764
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 4: And I think you're such an example of how to

765
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 4: do it.

766
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: And in the rear view mirror, it makes you really

767
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: subscribe to rejection is redirection.

768
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: It really, it really isn't you know?

769
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 5: I would say It's definitely shaped me for who I

770
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 5: am now, and I think I'm the best version of

771
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 5: myself to date, always room for improvement. But one of

772
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 5: the things I didn't mention was when I met my husband,

773
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 5: he is a product of this very same situation.

774
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 6: So he came to.

775
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,760
Speaker 5: My life and opened up my eyes what it felt

776
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 5: like as a kid going through this.

777
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 3: So he helped me navigate that place. He also helped me navigate.

778
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 5: What it was like because one of the things that

779
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 5: I wanted was I wanted my ex do approve.

780
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 3: Of me, to like me. I wanted his wife to

781
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 3: or girlfriend to like me.

782
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,280
Speaker 5: And it's the same thing as I was saying with dating.

783
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 3: If you want something.

784
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 5: So bad, you're so not attractive and you're not going

785
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 5: to get that. And when I finally realized, when I

786
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 5: said earlier, oh this isn't a me issue, there was

787
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 5: nothing and I the only thing I was doing was

788
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 5: forcing something that they didn't want with me.

789
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 2: But that was you trying to resolve probably the rejection piece,

790
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 2: right like, yeah, that was still trying you to kind

791
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 2: of get their approval and be lovable basically because you

792
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 2: were so you heart And what you learned to do was, basically, to.

793
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: Quote mel Robbins, let them and then let me right.

794
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, But that took me so long. Of course

795
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 3: it really did.

796
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 5: Like I said, I'm a slow learner, but when it

797
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 5: finally clicked, I went, oh, okay, Like I wish I

798
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 5: could take back time and like apply it then, but

799
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:42,720
Speaker 5: I just didn't have it. And Thoma, when you asked

800
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,879
Speaker 5: me earlier, like what kind of advice would you give

801
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 5: in my business? I am. I am approached by women

802
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 5: and some men, but mostly women weakly with a situation

803
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 5: like this because some degree, whether it's about an affair

804
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 5: or a marriage not working out, or a relationship ending.

805
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 3: And the best advice I would.

806
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 5: Give for me is, and I've said this so many

807
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 5: times to people.

808
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 3: In my office, is be kind.

809
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 5: He You can be in a relationship and not be

810
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 5: happy and want out, but just be kind about it.

811
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 5: And I've said that so many people who are not

812
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 5: in marriages that are working, and I'll say to them,

813
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 5: just all I can offer is if you don't want

814
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 5: to be in this marriage and your partner does, be

815
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 5: kind about it. Because a marriage, if it's not gonna work,

816
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 5: it's not gonna work. But how you treat somebody at

817
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 5: the end of the.

818
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 4: Day you exit, it's how that is huge. And also

819
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 4: it's not the way it looks today is not the

820
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 4: way it necessarily looks five years, ten years, Like I

821
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,399
Speaker 4: guess you know so, so you always need to act

822
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 4: with integrity kind of back to what you said.

823
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, And one of the things on our first date

824
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 5: or after our first date, she said to me, you

825
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 5: deserved a different ending. And that was something that really

826
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 5: resonated with me because it was like thank you now

827
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 5: you like at least it.

828
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 2: Was like the end in aha moment you needed that.

829
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: It was her version of an apology. So before we close,

830
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 2: I do have an important question as somebody who is

831
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 2: in a very day to day, uh you know, situations

832
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 2: with Ethelman myself.

833
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 1: So you are.

834
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 2: Somebody who dated, successfully, tried on a lot, has been

835
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 2: in a really happy marriage. What advice would would you

836
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 2: give to us so that we too can get to

837
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: your kind of final destination?

838
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 1: What are we doing wrong?

839
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 2: Like share with our listeners as somebody who's you know,

840
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: basically stepped through that sliding door and we're still we're

841
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 2: still where we are, Like help help us.

842
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 5: I think it's less about what you're doing wrong. I

843
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 5: think I feel two different things with Louise.

844
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 3: I feel this is good.

845
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: Brace yourself up. I know you're comes the attack on Louise, and.

846
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,720
Speaker 5: I've said this to you, you need to give something

847
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 5: more time. I don't think you need to give something

848
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 5: time that doesn't feel good from the get go. But

849
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 5: when you are, you know you've met somebody that makes

850
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 5: you feel excited and looking forward to going on that

851
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 5: next date and that next date, and when you're with them,

852
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 5: you come back feeling really good. And when you're not

853
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 5: with them, out of sight, out of mind. I think that,

854
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 5: and I've said this to you, you need that push

855
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 5: of spending the night and waking up and going through

856
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 5: the awkward breakfast, right yeah, and like all of your quirks.

857
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 4: And stuff more gray, not black or white, like you

858
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 4: have to decide am I going?

859
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 6: Am I going ahead with this? Or am I break?

860
00:46:58,880 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 4: Yeah?

861
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 5: Like, just be in it enough that you know that

862
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 5: you know, you really know that person intimately, not sexually,

863
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,919
Speaker 5: but intimately before you know if they're right or wrong

864
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 5: for you unless there's.

865
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 1: No feeling, I got it.

866
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 2: It's just hard because the opportunity of having dinners with

867
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 2: Felma and Jennifer like we'll be doing in one hour,

868
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 2: is just it really lights me up.

869
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: I have to say, it's a very it's a very

870
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: hard expel. And what advice would you give me?

871
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 6: I know what's my advice?

872
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 3: Okay, So your advice is.

873
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 5: I have noticed as we've gotten closer that you you

874
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 5: really could care less about putting yourself together and going out.

875
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 5: You'd rather put yourself together to go out with the girls,

876
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 5: And you'd rather you have a date and him cancel, and.

877
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 3: You're happy about it.

878
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 5: You are so true.

879
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 3: That is not going.

880
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 5: To get you out there meeting mister wonderful who gets

881
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 5: to appreciate you.

882
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 4: Now, I told you my brothers always said they are

883
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 4: not going to find you in your home near your pajamas.

884
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,919
Speaker 3: Yeah. And by the way, I mean like that last date.

885
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 3: I was just so happy you went on it for

886
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 3: forty minutes.

887
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 1: It was fifty eight minutes. Guys, it was fifty eight minutes.

888
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 2: Tell them when I said to you, so just quickly

889
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: and then we'll close up. So she had a date

890
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 2: last week, and we don't want to We want to

891
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: leave them wanting more. So we were going to cap

892
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 2: it at an hour five thirty, and then I was

893
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 2: going to swoop it again her at six thirty, and

894
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 2: then we were going to go hit a vault.

895
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 4: Wait, let me first say, do you know what? Louise

896
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 4: initially said, Okay, well, just keep your seats at the bar,

897
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 4: tell him you're ending the date, and I'll just take

898
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 4: his seat. And I was like, oh god, I am

899
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 4: a lot of things, but I am not tone deaf.

900
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 4: I am not going to tell him to get up

901
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 4: so somebody could take his seat. I'm like, I'm going

902
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 4: to go out the back door or the front door,

903
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 4: and you're going to swing by and pick me up.

904
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 2: But when I well I had said to her, was

905
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 2: I said, look, I'm going to check in mid date

906
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: and if you want to continue the date, you could.

907
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 2: We don't have to have dinner that night. So I

908
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 2: text her and I'm like, Yo, should I get in

909
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 2: the car. She goes, yeah, I'll be ready in five minutes.

910
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 8: I was like, what traffic and she goes, all, i'll

911
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,720
Speaker 8: pick you up because no, I'll walk across the street.

912
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 8: Our seats at the bar and she was perched there

913
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 8: and when I walked in, I felt like the prombling

914
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 8: her face lit up.

915
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: You were so happy to see And.

916
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 4: I got totally buzzed that night, because like I was

917
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 4: giddy when I met Luise. It was like I nursed

918
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 4: a drink with him and then I was like, oh

919
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 4: my night can begin.

920
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 6: Yes, I definitely.

921
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 3: So you see what you're connecting the dots here.

922
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 6: I am thanks.

923
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 5: I want you to get giddy when you see your girlfriends,

924
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 5: but I want you to make an effort to just

925
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 5: not a date a week, but just don't just set

926
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 5: your standards of like I'm gonna show up, I hit

927
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 5: the data week.

928
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: I I am all for the data week.

929
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 5: I understand. And by the way, kudos to you that

930
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 5: you guys can find that and do it. I mean

931
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 5: it's hard when two dates this week.

932
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 2: I'm very propsed to burn, but you know two days well,

933
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 2: I just have to tell you, Jennifer, thank you so

934
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 2: much honestly for coming on and sharing your story.

935
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 4: It's it's very nice when somebody is willing to be vulnerable.

936
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 4: And thanks for sharing your journey and telling everyone our

937
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 4: listeners what you've been through. And hopefully it serves to

938
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 4: be inspirational for people who are going through it right

939
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 4: now and kind of a lesson that even if you

940
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 4: have a traumatic experience, you still can find your part two.

941
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just just one more thing to add

942
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 2: if you guys, as our listeners, enjoyed participating in Jennifer's

943
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 2: you Know story film, and I have a lot of

944
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 2: people with a lot of stories that would love to

945
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 2: come on and share.

946
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 5: So, oh, there's so many people with these kinds of stories.

947
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,760
Speaker 2: We have a big crew people, so if this resonates

948
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 2: with our listeners, let us know.

949
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 4: But the people who you know again, they're going through it,

950
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 4: but they also have a light at the end of

951
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 4: the tunnel. So if you are struggling with post divorce,

952
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 4: we would love to help you. Apparently I'm not be

953
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 4: the right person as I've just been given the advice,

954
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 4: but please call or email us, follow us on socials,

955
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 4: and all of the information will be in the show notes,

956
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 4: so make sure to rate and review this podcast. I

957
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,439
Speaker 4: do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love

958
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 4: is the main objective.