1
00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,200
Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:07,760
Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

3
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,480
Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

4
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We'll try to help you

5
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,080
Speaker 1: if we can. We could be reading your letter live

6
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,920
Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,360
Speaker 1: one right here, right now.

8
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:21,919
Speaker 2: You never know.

9
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Speaker 1: It could be yours.

10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 2: It could be yours. It could be yours. Michael, up

11
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,920
Speaker 2: and hold on tight. We got it for you here.

12
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,319
Speaker 2: It is Strawberry Letter.

13
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:37,600
Speaker 1: Yes it can, Yes it can. Thank you, nephew, Thank you, nephew. Subject.

14
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,360
Speaker 1: This is not the blended family that I expected. Dear

15
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,560
Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty seven year old married man

16
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,840
Speaker 1: and this is my second marriage. I have a twenty

17
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,199
Speaker 1: one year old daughter from my first marriage, and my

18
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,760
Speaker 1: wife has a twelve year old and an eight year old.

19
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,040
Speaker 1: We're living in a house. We're living in my house,

20
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,160
Speaker 1: which is four bedrooms and three bathrooms, and it's busting

21
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,600
Speaker 1: at the seams. My daughter just moved in and she

22
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,600
Speaker 1: has a one year old son. My wife's children split

23
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,240
Speaker 1: time between our house and their father's house. I wish

24
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,800
Speaker 1: they could go live with him full time, but my

25
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,680
Speaker 1: wife wants them to live with her, which is understandable.

26
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 1: I think they should be with their dad. Here's why

27
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,440
Speaker 1: my wife's mother has just moved in with us. She's

28
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,160
Speaker 1: staying in the den that's next door to our bedroom,

29
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,360
Speaker 1: so that has shut down our sex life. She's supposed

30
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,080
Speaker 1: to be waiting for an apartment and a senior living complex,

31
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,120
Speaker 1: but it looks like she's getting settled in here. My

32
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,760
Speaker 1: wife bought her a dresser and a chair for our

33
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 1: den so she can be comfortable. Some of the grown

34
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,200
Speaker 1: people need to move, starting with my daughter and her child.

35
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm only telling you guys this because I don't know

36
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,000
Speaker 1: how to handle the process of elimination. I would pay

37
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,200
Speaker 1: for my daughter to move, but she needs help with

38
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,640
Speaker 1: the baby, and I'd have to pay for that too.

39
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,880
Speaker 1: My mother in law is rearranging my kitchen and being

40
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,040
Speaker 1: a busy body. I was being intimate with my wife

41
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,160
Speaker 1: and my mother in law tapped on the wall and

42
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,600
Speaker 1: we felt like school kids that got in trouble for

43
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 1: making out. It's too too much going on in my house.

44
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,560
Speaker 1: This is not the type of blended family that I expected.

45
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,960
Speaker 1: My house is almost paid for, so I'm not moving.

46
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,560
Speaker 1: How do I get rid of these extra people in

47
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 1: my house? Okay, this is a mess, But I got

48
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 1: to ask you if you and your wife talked before

49
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 1: any of this stuff happened, because you seem surprised at

50
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,560
Speaker 1: what's going on in your own house. If you and

51
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:32,760
Speaker 1: your wife are on the same page, you know this

52
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,040
Speaker 1: marriage is not going to work. And the one thing

53
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,640
Speaker 1: you cannot be is uncomfortable in your own home, and

54
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,840
Speaker 1: you are that. You have to find out about the

55
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,440
Speaker 1: senior apartment. Your mother in law is waiting on talk

56
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,800
Speaker 1: to your wife about it. Why is this taking so long?

57
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,040
Speaker 1: Then you're going to know for sure if she's trying

58
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,000
Speaker 1: to stay in your house permanently or if she's really

59
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,799
Speaker 1: trying to move. It sounds like she's trying to stay,

60
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,560
Speaker 1: all right, That's what it sounds like. She can take

61
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 1: the dresser in the chair that you're I've got for her,

62
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,160
Speaker 1: she can take that to her new place. Secondly, is

63
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,240
Speaker 1: your daughter in school? Is she working? If not, you

64
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,280
Speaker 1: got to talk to her about her future and her

65
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,720
Speaker 1: next move. That's something you should also be talking to

66
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,560
Speaker 1: your ex wife about because it's her child too, and

67
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,440
Speaker 1: maybe she can help with the grandson, since that's a

68
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,080
Speaker 1: major problem. And if you can afford to get your

69
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,639
Speaker 1: daughter and your grandson an apartment, like you say, then

70
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,480
Speaker 1: tell her you can help her. But you guys have

71
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,000
Speaker 1: to have some sort of plan here. You are the

72
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,359
Speaker 1: man of this house. You need peace in your house.

73
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,880
Speaker 1: You and your new wife can call a family meeting

74
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,720
Speaker 1: after you've talked, to discuss how things will go moving forward. Now,

75
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,280
Speaker 1: these two step kids, they're going to be coming over

76
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,800
Speaker 1: every two weeks and that's not going to change even

77
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,760
Speaker 1: though you say you want them to live with your father.

78
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,400
Speaker 1: You knew she had kids when you married her, so

79
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,800
Speaker 1: you might as well just lean on into that. But

80
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,360
Speaker 1: this other stuff, you're just going to have to start

81
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,320
Speaker 1: picking it away, one by one, step by step.

82
00:03:55,400 --> 00:04:00,280
Speaker 2: Steve, this is not what a blended family is though.

83
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,960
Speaker 2: Now the dude that wrote the letter, I'm on your side,

84
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,760
Speaker 2: just want you to be clear about that. I understand

85
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,120
Speaker 2: the dilemma that you have a blended family. I thought

86
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,760
Speaker 2: should be if a man and a woman get married

87
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:21,440
Speaker 2: and each one of them have kids, that's a blended family. Correct.

88
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:30,640
Speaker 2: What has happened here is your grown daughter has a

89
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 2: child who has moved back into your house, and then

90
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:41,880
Speaker 2: her mother has moved into your house. Now this was

91
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 2: your house originally, bro, and you had a four bedroom

92
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,320
Speaker 2: house with three baths, and it's busting at the seams. Well,

93
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,479
Speaker 2: because you got two people in there that ain't supposed

94
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:58,240
Speaker 2: to be in there. You got your grandchild that's in there,

95
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,479
Speaker 2: daughter that's in there who came back home, but she

96
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:08,000
Speaker 2: twenty one, and then her mama is there. Now you

97
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,000
Speaker 2: done have to give up your den, which is well

98
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,159
Speaker 2: probably why you watch TV. You done have to put

99
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 2: a dress in there in a chair. Ain't no bathroom

100
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,680
Speaker 2: in the den. So now you got this old woman

101
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,719
Speaker 2: got to cut through the house somewhere to go to

102
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,719
Speaker 2: the bathroom. The den is next to your bedroom. And

103
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,280
Speaker 2: when y'all in there getting it on, she can't take it.

104
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:34,159
Speaker 2: She knocking on the wall. He hey, but now you

105
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:39,120
Speaker 2: in your house, so I'm on your side. The only

106
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,719
Speaker 2: solution you have for this is, and this is really

107
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,279
Speaker 2: a simple letter, you and your wife gonna have to

108
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 2: come to the conclusion. Now you can't get rid of

109
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,400
Speaker 2: these two boys that she had because you knew that

110
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,800
Speaker 2: when you married her. You can't wish they would go

111
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,040
Speaker 2: live with their daddy because the mama not giving up

112
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,760
Speaker 2: her children. She just said that. So that's where the

113
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:05,159
Speaker 2: and the family is. Your problem is your twenty one

114
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,400
Speaker 2: year old daughter you' do bene brought back in the

115
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,720
Speaker 2: house with her child. Now she got a room in

116
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,240
Speaker 2: one of the bathrooms. Them two boys, they got to

117
00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 2: have their bathroom by theyself because you don't want in

118
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:23,840
Speaker 2: that bathroom now with them two boys in there. Then

119
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,080
Speaker 2: you and your wife got a bathroom. So now that

120
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,880
Speaker 2: means that the mama is sharing the bathroom with somebody,

121
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:38,600
Speaker 2: either them boys or that girl with that baby. They

122
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 2: won't hug on grandma.

123
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,720
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll have part two of your response coming up

124
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes after the hour of today's Strawberry letter.

125
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,120
Speaker 1: Subject this is not the blended family I expected. We'll

126
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:55,039
Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show,

127
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,120
Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

128
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 1: The subject is this is not the blended family I expected.

129
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,480
Speaker 2: No, this is not a blended family. A blended family

130
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,520
Speaker 2: is when you marry a woman that has children, and

131
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,000
Speaker 2: you have children, and you all live together and you

132
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,800
Speaker 2: try to blend the family. That's a traditional blead blended family.

133
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,560
Speaker 2: You have that except your child and move back into

134
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,080
Speaker 2: the house. She twenty one with a baby. So now

135
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,720
Speaker 2: there's your grown daughter and a grandbaby that's living there,

136
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:30,080
Speaker 2: and you got the woman your wife's two biological children

137
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,280
Speaker 2: living there and her Mameter moved in and she's staying

138
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 2: in the den. She't then bought her dresser and a

139
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 2: chair so she could be more comfortable. Guess you got

140
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,360
Speaker 2: tired of walking past the den looking at her sitting

141
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 2: on the edge of the bed like she in prison.

142
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,000
Speaker 2: That's an ugly ass sight. Every time you walk past

143
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 2: the den, you're looking in there, your mother in law

144
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,440
Speaker 2: sitting up in there like she in prison. Ain't no

145
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:02,480
Speaker 2: where to sit in prison. But then there's no living room,

146
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:07,280
Speaker 2: so she in jail and she back is starting to

147
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,880
Speaker 2: curve a little bit, so you know, or you be

148
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 2: hunched over all the time, hard to sit up straight,

149
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,040
Speaker 2: hard hell good pasture on a bed. So that's what

150
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,720
Speaker 2: your problem is though, So you don't have the traditional

151
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 2: blended family. What you have at your house, it's called

152
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 2: the family reunion. That's what you have, y'all at Pearl's

153
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:33,600
Speaker 2: house for three days and making pallettes on the floor. Brother,

154
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,360
Speaker 2: you forty seven. You got a folk bedroom house with

155
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,880
Speaker 2: three bathrooms in it and it's completely overrun. I don't

156
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,480
Speaker 2: have nothing for you except this. You say you can't

157
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,719
Speaker 2: put your daughter out because she need help moving. If

158
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,400
Speaker 2: you give her help, movie, she gonna need help with

159
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 2: the baby. You're stuck here. Who got to go? The

160
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,200
Speaker 2: old inmate sitting up in the in the den, she

161
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 2: got to go. Yeah, she got to go. She knocking

162
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,800
Speaker 2: on the wall your house. Hey, what y'all doing in there?

163
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 1: Rearranging the kitchen?

164
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:09,400
Speaker 2: She and not doing the most. She take all the

165
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,720
Speaker 2: big ass house coach and the moomoo dresses. And she

166
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,160
Speaker 2: needs to get on down there to that assistant living place.

167
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 2: You need to call down there and pay the extra money,

168
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:22,000
Speaker 2: get her times, get her spot moved up. She needs

169
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:27,559
Speaker 2: to be down there with Pearl and jol Dene Oscar

170
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 2: Barnabas there claw that she need to get down there

171
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,760
Speaker 2: with people with them names. So ms, Betty got to go.

172
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,679
Speaker 2: That's the show I'm going to ask you. And so

173
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,800
Speaker 2: that's really your only solution. Any questions on this, lady,

174
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000
Speaker 2: any questions from me?

175
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,840
Speaker 1: Well, he said that he could afford Steve to take

176
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 1: care of his daughter to get I would.

177
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 2: Pay for peace. Bye, please get out, p S. I

178
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,960
Speaker 2: got money for peace. Okay, Yeah, they're just gonna have

179
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,520
Speaker 2: tot met together. If she if it was you and

180
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 2: somebody was knocking on your wall, or what would you say?

181
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,320
Speaker 2: Would you do? I come out of the bedroom and asked,

182
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,480
Speaker 2: excuse me, would you be clothed?

183
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:19,880
Speaker 1: Close?

184
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,439
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come out there with the tie over my shoulder.

185
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,160
Speaker 1: Not around your waist.

186
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 2: She's waiting and everything. What's the problem in the doorway?

187
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,720
Speaker 2: Not only okay? Hey, hey, what's happening.

188
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:42,680
Speaker 1: The door?

189
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:53,560
Speaker 2: Hey? Miss j what you need? You ain't want nothing?

190
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,520
Speaker 2: High you get on back in here? Shut the door.

191
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,040
Speaker 2: Y'are too loud? Okay, y'all down? Yeah, we like it

192
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:05,400
Speaker 2: loud up in here. Cut your TV up?

193
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 1: Can she give me another chair to match the one

194
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 1: she bought me? I need to uhuh.

195
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,200
Speaker 2: You listen to me. You got TV in now. You

196
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,160
Speaker 2: can go from this bunk, this chair, you can sit

197
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 2: on that dresser. Put your foot up on the dresser.

198
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:27,840
Speaker 2: Use that as an artum. Okay, wow, if you'll keep

199
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,360
Speaker 2: up all this knowing I'm gonna have to leave. That's

200
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,440
Speaker 2: what we're hoping for.

201
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,040
Speaker 1: Bye. I hope you don't mind to rearrange the kitchen

202
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,160
Speaker 1: the way I like it.

203
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,640
Speaker 2: You ain't gonna have to arrange no kitchen. I've already

204
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,360
Speaker 2: made arrangements down there, sunny Brook, sunny Brook, down there,

205
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:51,440
Speaker 2: take and take you Friday. And guess what that chair

206
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,280
Speaker 2: and that dresser and that bunk, all that's yours. We

207
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,800
Speaker 2: already got you. We already got you pre we got

208
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:05,760
Speaker 2: you pre uh furnished. She set up missus Jones. You

209
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,720
Speaker 2: got a cot, dresser and a chair, and you can

210
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:15,319
Speaker 2: take that TV too. But I don't know anybody make

211
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 2: potter pin toes and the skin of the corn bread

212
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:22,480
Speaker 2: candy down there with you. I'm gonna give you Mike

213
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:28,760
Speaker 2: away and already signed you up for Friday night Bingo.

214
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,400
Speaker 2: It's Saturday night, Quilton. So you got some activities coming

215
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,520
Speaker 2: on and they're gonna play pickleball on Tuesdays.

216
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 1: Daddy, I want to go out with my friends. Can

217
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,920
Speaker 1: you watch the baby?

218
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,200
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't babysit. Baby. You take

219
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 2: take that baby on down to the club with you,

220
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:57,880
Speaker 2: and don't stand by the speaker your grandson unless he

221
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,160
Speaker 2: smokes cigars and know how to barbecue. Bill been helped.

222
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,680
Speaker 1: Poat your comments on Today Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey

223
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,720
Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter

224
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:13,360
Speaker 1: podcast on free iHeartRadio app Free Never sounded so good.

225
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,880
Speaker 1: You can download it today. Coming up at forty six

226
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 1: minutes to after the hour, it's Junior and Sports Talk.

227
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,680
Speaker 2: Right after this, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show