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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. This podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These.

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Speaker 3: You need help, You're the problems.

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Speaker 2: Come on, come down.

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Speaker 3: Go cleamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

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Speaker 3: what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Oh

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Speaker 3: my god, we have our work cut out for us today.

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Speaker 3: We're here. Welcome to get This the season finale of

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Speaker 3: Shrink This with Lisa Lampinelli. Don't worry. We will be

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Speaker 3: back with season two whenever the fuck we want to

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Speaker 3: to ask for the date. Yeah, we will be back

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Speaker 3: whether we like it or not, because we're under contract

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Speaker 3: and like, I just got tired. Okay, I'm tired. Yes,

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Speaker 3: I've been helping so many people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I have to renegotiate mine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to see if you get a hundred

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Speaker 3: for the whole season right now. If they don't give

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Speaker 3: you one hundred dollars, case I walk. Yeah, you're out

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Speaker 3: of here, Nick, I'm done. Oh so this is shrink

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Speaker 3: This the season finale. Don't be sad. We'll have little

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Speaker 3: treats for you in between before the next season launches.

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Speaker 3: I'd like to call them teeny meanies, like little messages

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Speaker 3: to get you through the hiatus, the sabbatical as it were.

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Speaker 3: So today I'm with no Bloddy.

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Speaker 2: That's me. We're going on social They could find me

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Speaker 2: at nick scopes on Instagram and TikTok. What's up, y'all?

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Speaker 2: Give me a follow? Do you enjoy the season? If

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Speaker 2: you did?

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Speaker 3: DM make looking for some big dick?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Have you got a dick pic that was like really nice?

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Speaker 3: Would you jump on it?

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Speaker 2: For sure?

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Speaker 4: What was that song they like, jump on it?

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Speaker 3: Jam on it?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, dude, you jammy. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: these wraps I would I could. I could as a

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Speaker 2: straight guy, I could like see a dick picking like,

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Speaker 2: that's nice. It's a pretty penis. That's nice.

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Speaker 3: Except what's weird is I am technically straight, but I

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Speaker 3: don't like the look of a cock.

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Speaker 2: I mean, some are ugly. Dude. I have a buddy though,

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Speaker 2: with the nicest one.

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Speaker 3: Really it's like white but shout.

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Speaker 2: Out what's up? Brian White. Whenever we would go out together,

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Speaker 2: the bars would be Pean next together at the Urn,

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Speaker 2: and I would be like, it's just good looking.

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Speaker 3: What makes it good looking? Because I don't.

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Speaker 2: It's just like smooth, not lout of veins.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the veins are throw it's a good color. But

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Speaker 3: what's weird? Some gay guys like the veins. From what

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Speaker 3: I hear, everybody has different tastes, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Celia, what do you like cocaine wise?

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's stymy. All of a sudden, she's speechless. Well,

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Speaker 3: that's why her other auspicious occasion. We're we're going out

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Speaker 3: on a bang for season one. Now. We decided, okay,

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Speaker 3: we've been teasing for weeks that we're going to do

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Speaker 3: a Fixing Celia episode. That is, of course, our much maligned,

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Speaker 3: completely checked out, non present email doing during the show.

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Speaker 3: Producer say, Celia, what an introduction.

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Speaker 5: Celia?

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Speaker 3: We've we've learned throughout the show. What we know so

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Speaker 3: far is that she's very nice. She no longer answers

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Speaker 3: emails during the show because she takes a note she

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Speaker 3: really knows how to do that, No, not at all.

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Speaker 3: And she's shapely and thin. In her clothes are too baggy.

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Speaker 3: We did have a talk about that today. You need

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Speaker 3: to buy interim clothing.

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Speaker 6: Please please, I want you to say that to my

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Speaker 6: mother and father.

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Speaker 3: Why why is it that they need to do they

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Speaker 3: need to be informed by your clothing.

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Speaker 6: You need to tell them that they need to buy

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Speaker 6: me new clothes.

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Speaker 3: Why at your age?

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Speaker 6: Because do you not?

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Speaker 3: No, stop with the victim mentality. It's true. It's called

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Speaker 3: getting a part time job. In addition to this eighty

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Speaker 3: hour week job, it's called going a good will. Now

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Speaker 3: that you're in the body that maybe there's some things

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Speaker 3: that fit at a thrift shop. Have someone who's good

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Speaker 3: at that a K a l L. Go with you

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Speaker 3: and buy you a broth that fits, buy you some

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Speaker 3: clothes a bit because you look great. But we can't

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Speaker 3: see it under that. How you supposed to get dick?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're hiding what you have to buy a period?

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Speaker 3: Just speaking of needing bras Nick, Yeah, I mean look at.

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Speaker 2: Him, I'll done, honestly.

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Speaker 3: Wait, So that's what we know about Celia so far.

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Speaker 3: Now we have been teasing that we're going to do

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Speaker 3: a Fixing Celia episode, and she keeps passively aggressively saying well,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, we're going.

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Speaker 5: To do it.

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Speaker 3: And we thought we were going to do it, and

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Speaker 3: then I received the list of things from Celia that's

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Speaker 3: wrong with her and I said, it's hopeless. Yeah, you

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Speaker 3: are broken. We're euthanizing you. Nick called a vet. He's

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Speaker 3: here with a lethal injection. No, you have some frickin'

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Speaker 3: list and I have a full four days of coaching

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Speaker 3: experience under my belt. I am afraid we won't be

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Speaker 3: able to fix you, but I think we can fix

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Speaker 3: an issue for you. How does that sound? Yes? Now

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Speaker 3: my question to you is this, give that the stuff

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Speaker 3: you sent me honestly their sadness, Like ll got sad reading.

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Speaker 3: I said, oh, dude, you've been through a lot. Like

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying you got corn holding in sr will

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Speaker 3: or anything. Yeah, but I mean it's like everything else.

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Speaker 3: So tell us a little history of your mental health

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Speaker 3: so far.

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Speaker 6: Okay. So I don't know how to start. Okay, I

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Speaker 6: might need you to like ask me a question or something.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So, so you're a twenty three year old you

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Speaker 3: were raised where.

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Speaker 6: New Orleans and you were.

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Speaker 3: Raised by what type of people divorce? Well?

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Speaker 6: Yes, Italians, but also divorced parents one an addict.

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Speaker 3: We're not going to say who are we being vague?

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Speaker 6: My father? Oh?

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Speaker 3: No, no, are we being vague?

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Speaker 6: I don't know if I was just going to but

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Speaker 6: I don't mind.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I'm sure your father's thrilled about it too.

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Speaker 3: So you told me at one point this person was

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Speaker 3: in and out of rehab a lot of times. Yes,

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Speaker 3: and you have very early memories of going to betty

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Speaker 3: Ford for a visit. So were your parents wealthy enough

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Speaker 3: to afford betty Ford?

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Speaker 6: My dad, I will brag about him till the end

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Speaker 6: of the day, like till the end of the earth.

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Speaker 6: Like he went from rags to riches, worked his ass off.

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Speaker 6: He went to dental school and started a practice and

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Speaker 6: was very successful in that, and then got a tumor

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Speaker 6: in his spine so he couldn't lean over to help

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Speaker 6: his patients anymore. So he had to give up his practice.

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Speaker 6: And he didn't have disability insurance or any of that,

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Speaker 6: so he kind of learned the hard way how important

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Speaker 6: that is. So he started working in like wealth management,

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Speaker 6: which then he now does life insurance, disability insurance, and

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Speaker 6: retirement planning and wealth management.

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Speaker 3: So did he get addicted to these drugs when he

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Speaker 3: had the back problem?

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Speaker 6: So I believe so, I honestly, frankly, I don't know

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Speaker 6: the genesis of his addiction because I wasn't born yet, right,

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Speaker 6: and I have never asked about it from before I

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Speaker 6: was born.

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Speaker 3: Right. So he needs to write a book called Rags

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Speaker 3: to Riches to Rehab because this guy has some fucking stories.

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Speaker 6: Is he currently in one in a story or in

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Speaker 6: a rehab rehab not in a rehab in a story?

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Speaker 3: Yes, okay, all right, So what's condition now? Does he

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Speaker 3: just kind of keep going in and out and just

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Speaker 3: falling off the wagon? I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I think that it was like that for a long time,

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Speaker 6: and I don't you know, you never really know, no

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Speaker 6: matter how much you know a person, you never really

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Speaker 6: know what they are doing when you're not with them, obviously,

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Speaker 6: or even when you are with them. So he could

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Speaker 6: have been on the wagon the whole time and pretended

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Speaker 6: to have not fallen off, or you know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I really don't. Yeah, I know what what I've experienced

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Speaker 6: and seen, and I know that right now, he just

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Speaker 6: had major surgery almost two months ago now, actually two

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Speaker 6: months ago today and has been doing really really well

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Speaker 6: with the medication.

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Speaker 3: Why do you think you hold your dad in such

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Speaker 3: high esteem even with these struggles, because I would find

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Speaker 3: that hard.

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Speaker 6: I used to. I think it clicked for me. I

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Speaker 6: remember when it was. I was in college and I

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Speaker 6: was talking to my friends about just like addiction in general,

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Speaker 6: and one person said, and this is so cliche because

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Speaker 6: I've heard it a trillion times. One person was like,

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Speaker 6: it's just crazy, how it's like a disease. And I

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Speaker 6: was like, oh my god, like I've been so mad

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Speaker 6: at him for so long, Like how could you do

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Speaker 6: this to me? How could you make my life like this?

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Speaker 6: When like I don't think he wants it like that either,

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Speaker 6: you know.

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Speaker 3: I don't think anyone volunteers to, you know, have their

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Speaker 3: life revolve around everything. Yeah, And what I recently heard

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Speaker 3: a great podcast where they were like, with an addiction,

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Speaker 3: you have to give up one thing to get everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but a lot of them give up everything to do

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Speaker 3: this one thing. But it's so physical, and especially the

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Speaker 3: physical dependencies and stuff. Yes, so that's all chemical, And

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Speaker 3: like that's why I always said it certainly wasn't easy

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Speaker 3: to kick some kind of food problem that's hard, or

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Speaker 3: codependency or sex and love addiction, those aren't easy, but

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Speaker 3: at least you don't have to have the chemical kind

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Speaker 3: of mix up.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's a lot harder when, for example,

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Speaker 6: you have an addiction to like working out or eating

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Speaker 6: or something. It doesn't involve something that like chemically alters

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Speaker 6: or changes you and your being. And also like your

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Speaker 6: state of life after taking or doing whatever it is

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Speaker 6: you're addicted to, like you know, you become loopy or

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Speaker 6: whatever it is, it changes you. So, I mean, he

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Speaker 6: was addicted to alcohol for a long time that I

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Speaker 6: don't remember. I was live, but I don't remember. And

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Speaker 6: then the pain pills became more of a thing because

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Speaker 6: he has so many surgeries.

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Speaker 3: Do you think though part of you pedestalizes your father

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Speaker 3: a little bit? So it's almost a not a love hate,

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Speaker 3: but almost a extreme thing. First you were obviously really

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Speaker 3: angry and upset. Then you kind of had this revelation

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Speaker 3: that Okay, you know it's a chemical disease. It's horrible.

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Speaker 3: Now it sounds a little bit tipped over, possibly to

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Speaker 3: the other direction. Do you think it's a little too

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Speaker 3: far in that direction?

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Speaker 6: It definitely could be I think it's more that I

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Speaker 6: really respect his work ethic and how he like values

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Speaker 6: money and how he manages it. It's like something I

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Speaker 6: really look up to and I want to do that

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Speaker 6: and be able to do that. But also, I mean,

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Speaker 6: I see how he handles after the fact and I

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Speaker 6: don't agree with that. And like even my parents' divorce

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Speaker 6: was really bad and I didn't like the way either

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Speaker 6: of them handled it, but like notoriously he was bad, Yeah,

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Speaker 6: like really bad.

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Speaker 2: Do you think it's just also too, like I've had

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Speaker 2: this just with my dad in different ways, but like

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Speaker 2: you're just like it's my dad. You just accept that

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's my father.

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Speaker 6: It's it's a hard thing to like swallow, especially because

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Speaker 6: I grew up in like a private school bubble of

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Speaker 6: where we all know each other, you all know what

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Speaker 6: happens in each other's families yea. And yeah, and like

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Speaker 6: nobody around me, like no one's no one had what

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Speaker 6: I had, right, It wasn't a thing.

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Speaker 2: Like you didn't know because those those communities are like.

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Speaker 6: You would know because the same way they knew about

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Speaker 6: my situation, like I would have known about theirs.

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Speaker 2: Yea.

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Speaker 6: So it was like pretty isolating too, as like a kid.

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Speaker 3: How did that manifest? Did you find friendships and vulnerability?

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Speaker 6: Hard vulnerability?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I would.

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Speaker 6: I was always like I wouldn't tell anyone at all,

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Speaker 6: Like I would just go to school the next day,

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Speaker 6: like if something happened, like I would go to school

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Speaker 6: the next day and be like what's up?

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Speaker 3: Like yeah, I mean I remember one time my mother

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Speaker 3: served salad and couldn't find a spoon, so she just

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Speaker 3: took a fist full of it and put it on

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Speaker 3: my plate. And I was embarrassed at that. So that's

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Speaker 3: relatively small. I don't actually, I don't think I've ever

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Speaker 3: told anyone. It was just like, God, I'm so embarrassed

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Speaker 3: over that that I've held it in for sixty four years,

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Speaker 3: just blurted it out now that she's dead. But like,

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Speaker 3: so I can imagine like kind of carrying this burden.

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Speaker 3: Did that sort of transfer to you taking on more

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Speaker 3: burden than a child should?

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Speaker 6: I wish there were enough words to like yes, like

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Speaker 6: yes to the extreme, to the to the most extremes

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Speaker 6: that you could.

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Speaker 3: Yes. Absolutely, So how would that manifest, say, grammar school,

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Speaker 3: high school, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 6: I was just I was always really anxious and fearful.

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Speaker 6: I was really scared that my parents were gonna die

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Speaker 6: all the time.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 6: Like I remember the first time I went to sleep

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Speaker 6: away camp. I think I was like twelve. I was

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Speaker 6: the only person in that camp allowed to call my

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Speaker 6: parents because I refused to sleep until, like I knew

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Speaker 6: that my mom hadn't like sent me an email or something.

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Speaker 6: So I was like, she's dead, and yep, I would

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Speaker 6: like see in my head like visibly her grave being

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Speaker 6: doug wow. And so I was like I know it,

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Speaker 6: like my brain is seeing it. So this is happening,

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Speaker 6: and I don't know what's going on because I'm not

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Speaker 6: there and I don't have any communication. So they were

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Speaker 6: just like, oh my god, Okay, let me call her.

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Speaker 6: They like, let me call her. And I was fine

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Speaker 6: after that.

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Speaker 3: So what how did that change? Or does that stuff

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Speaker 3: kind of stick around? Stuck around? Okay? So how would

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Speaker 3: it manifest itself today?

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Speaker 6: That anxiousness so many different ways, Like it's just it's

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Speaker 6: so much worry, a lot of worry. Like when I

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Speaker 6: was abroad, that was so hard. I had the great

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Speaker 6: the greatest time in my life, but it was also

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Speaker 6: really hard because like I was always checking the New

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Speaker 6: Orleans like Twitter, checking the car crashes and what was

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Speaker 6: the license plate because it was it my parents, like

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Speaker 6: you know, like, yeah, I was just I'm I'm overly

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Speaker 6: worried about something bad happening.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's hypervigilance. Yeah, So vigilance is fine, but when

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Speaker 3: you're sort of neglected or you have this kind of trauma,

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Speaker 3: when you're in that hypervigilance, it's just you're living at

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Speaker 3: this heightened state all the time, your nervous systems all disregulated,

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Speaker 3: and you're just kind of a mess. And also it's

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Speaker 3: not a surprise that you love your job because your

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Speaker 3: job is so high energy and like putting out fires

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Speaker 3: all the time. So you would be you're one of

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Speaker 3: these people who hopefully, someday you'll be able to do this.

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Speaker 3: You would be bored to death with a nice, peaceful.

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Speaker 6: Job, a corporate job, I could wait.

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Speaker 3: Not corporate. Let's not get like judgy. Oh no, you

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Speaker 3: if you had a peaceful job that was at a

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Speaker 3: nice pace, or a nice boyfriend who wasn't dramatic, or

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Speaker 3: a parent an aunt that you felt safe with, you

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Speaker 3: would be so fucking bored with them. And the goal

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Speaker 3: is to work on yourself enough so you're not bored

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Speaker 3: with a nice, easy life. Yeah, you know, but right

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Speaker 3: now you're almost rewarded for hypervigilance and for this huge

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Speaker 3: activity fueled by a bad nervous system. You're rewarded. Oh no,

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Speaker 3: she's just got a good work ethic. It's like, well, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but you know, also it makes you sort of that

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Speaker 3: that's the system you're running on. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: And I'd say, honestly, the most recent development, and it's

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Speaker 6: in horrendous is health anxiety. I was just diagnosed a

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Speaker 6: hypochondriac last week.

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Speaker 3: We would not be friends. I would I have a

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Speaker 3: friend I have. Actually I'm friends with you obviously because

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Speaker 3: it doesn't affect me. But I mean, if say a

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Speaker 3: very close friend was that, I'd have to be like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I need to not keep my distance, like I hate you.

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Speaker 3: But it's like, oh well, a little less contact.

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Speaker 6: So actually this just happened to me. I have had

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Speaker 6: an awful past three days.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, so we're.

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Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I will give you a prime example. Okay,

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Speaker 6: had a great weekend, went out with my friends, and

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Speaker 6: Sunday I get really really bad migraines. I always have,

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Speaker 6: always have and Sunday, had a normal day, and then

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Speaker 6: I went home and got a really bad migraine, and

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Speaker 6: so I was just like riding it out. I told

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Speaker 6: my roommates, like, I have a bad migraine. You know,

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Speaker 6: I'm okay, but just I'm in my dark room. Yes,

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Speaker 6: And eventually a couple hours later, it really escalated to

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Speaker 6: like the point where half of my like the right

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Speaker 6: side of my body was numb, and that's never happened

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Speaker 6: to me. So I got like really scared, and my

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Speaker 6: mom told me to call nine one one because like

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Speaker 6: I could be having a stroke. So we called, and

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Speaker 6: like the EMTs came and they're like, you're not having

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Speaker 6: a stroke, You're having like a severe migraine. You know,

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Speaker 6: you can either come with us or you can stay here.

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Speaker 6: And I was like I'm gonna stay here, signed away

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Speaker 6: and stayed at home. So I made a follow up

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Speaker 6: with my primary care doctor the next day just to

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Speaker 6: be like what's the course of action. I need to

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Speaker 6: know what to do. And this person was a doctor

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Speaker 6: I'd never seen before, and she was awful. I like

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Speaker 6: I started out saying to her. I started out telling

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Speaker 6: her like I get nervous and I get a little

355
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Speaker 6: hyper question, like curious and crazy about this, so just beware.

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Speaker 6: And then I told her the story and she was

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Speaker 6: this is how she goes, this is really severe. You

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Speaker 6: need to go to the er. I think you have

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Speaker 6: a blood clot or a brain bleed. This was like,

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Speaker 6: I mean, sixteen hours after the fact of my migrain,

361
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Speaker 6: by the way, So I'm like, wait, what like hold

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Speaker 6: up like reverse the breaks. I'm so confused because I

363
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Speaker 6: just all I wanted to know was like what medicine

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Speaker 6: should I take and what should I do? So I

365
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Speaker 6: get off and I'm like I text my roommates. I'm like,

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Speaker 6: holy hell, Like what the hell's wrong with this doctor?

367
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Speaker 6: She's crazy. I know that she's wrong, but there's gonna

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Speaker 6: be some part of me that's always gonna tell me

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Speaker 6: like this is a new thing, Like yeah, like when

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Speaker 6: my head hurts, your you might have a brain bleed

371
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Speaker 6: or something, you know, And like one of my roommates

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Speaker 6: was like, just right, tune it out, like tune it out.

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Speaker 6: And I'm like, girl, like, how do you tune that

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Speaker 6: out when somebody just told you like you could literally die?

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Speaker 6: And then I would just had texted in my group

376
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Speaker 6: chat was like if anyone has like OCD hypochondria, like

377
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Speaker 6: let me know, or like connect me because it's really

378
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Speaker 6: isolating and like I feel like it's just hard to

379
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Speaker 6: understand because why would you? And I actually got connected

380
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 6: with a lot of great people. So then my roommate

381
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 6: texted me it was like just all you said this,

382
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Speaker 6: I think you have two options. One, write the doctor

383
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Speaker 6: off is crazy and watch a movie start fresh. Two

384
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Speaker 6: book the scans that she said to book, pay the money,

385
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Speaker 6: get the peace of mind, move on. And I was

386
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Speaker 6: like I had already booked the scans at that point. Yeah,

387
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 6: and then I just kind of like word vomited and

388
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 6: was like sent like a paragraph of like this is

389
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Speaker 6: how my brain works. So like, no matter what if

390
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Speaker 6: I have those scan answer, if I know that she's wrong,

391
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 6: I'm still it's still going to creep into my mind

392
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 6: and it's so exhausting. And didn't answer me. And then

393
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Speaker 6: the next day at during work hours, I get a

394
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 6: long paragraph text from her saying from my roommates saying

395
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Speaker 6: like this is not conducive to our living situation. You're

396
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 6: breaking a harmonious like living situation. I think that like

397
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 6: we need to talk. You should consider iop like all

398
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 6: of intensive outpatient and I was like, wait, I was

399
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 6: like kind of confused as to where it came from

400
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 6: because I didn't know if i'd like that I'd done

401
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 6: something wrong, and so I was like, I'm not going

402
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 6: to talk about this over the film, like we can

403
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 6: talk in person, and so we did, and my feelings

404
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 6: were hurt personally because it was just a lot of

405
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 6: like it was just it's a lot, it's a lot,

406
00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 6: and like you know, you do this, you do this,

407
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 6: and like you don't allow other people to have a

408
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 6: bad day and you don't allow like me to have

409
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 6: sad feelings, and like you was just like kind of

410
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 6: laundry list of things that I guess I did wrong. Yeah,

411
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 6: so now I'm like kind of navigating how to live differently.

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Speaker 3: What would differently look like for her?

413
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Speaker 6: She said that it for you, Yeah, I didn't like

414
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 6: see like I foresaw a problem with my health anxiety,

415
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Speaker 6: but I didn't like feel the need like I didn't

416
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Speaker 6: think that like IOP or like any of those things

417
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Speaker 6: needed to be involved or brought up.

418
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Speaker 3: But but here's the thing. If a little part of

419
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Speaker 3: you didn't think she was a little right, and there's

420
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 3: a little possibility she might be correct, you wouldn't care.

421
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 3: Meaning if I said to you, Celia, I heard this

422
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 3: example on the Minimalist podcast once. If I said, oh

423
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Speaker 3: my god, Celia, here's such a chair, you'd be like, okay,

424
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Speaker 3: Like I don't even think that's true. So like, no,

425
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 3: if somebody says to me, at least I think you're

426
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 3: a little controlling, like part of me knows I work

427
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 3: on it and I know it's true. So I'm still

428
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 3: gonna get pissed off when somebody tells me. So I

429
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Speaker 3: wonder if there's a tiny part of you that is like,

430
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 3: you know, I'm angry and defensive. I get it. And

431
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 3: also she first of all, you gave her too much

432
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Speaker 3: power to fix you and advice give from day one.

433
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Speaker 3: It sounds like, so she was always giving you ideas,

434
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,719
Speaker 3: Suddenly you don't. Suddenly you don't like her ideas, and

435
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 3: you didn't have the boundaries to tell her don't give

436
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 3: me ideas. So a lot of it comes back on

437
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 3: who I taught her how to teach me that she

438
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 3: excuse me. I taught her how to treat me that

439
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 3: she could get away with saying all this. So it's saying, okay, wait,

440
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 3: let me own that we need changes dynamic. Let me

441
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 3: own my part in it, which is I should have

442
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 3: mentioned that to her when she was first giving me

443
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 3: the advice that she shouldn't and then maybe okay, so

444
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 3: what part of any of this sounds a little true.

445
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, So it's been like two days now, so I've

446
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 6: had like I've gone to therapy twice, and I like

447
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 6: had some time to reflect. It wasn't necessarily like that

448
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 6: she was that she was wrong. It was more like

449
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 6: I had already told her that and I told her

450
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 6: I'm really working on it. I went back to New

451
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 6: Orleans and saw my psychiatrist and my doctor together and

452
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 6: like we started to make a plan and like I

453
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 6: had already been actively working on it. And it's kind

454
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 6: of just felt like this was selfish because like of

455
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 6: the one time that it maybe perhaps affected her when

456
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 6: the EMTs came, I guess that like that was the line.

457
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 6: The line was drawn.

458
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 3: Well from what it sounds like, this is just the

459
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: straw that broke the camel's back thing. It probably wasn't

460
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 3: the one time, So it's acknowledging that she should have

461
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 3: said something before. When it's we did the episode last

462
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 3: time on resentment so even if it was say a

463
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 3: year ago, but it was a tiny little thing saying ooh,

464
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 3: this is Celia. I'm sorry, but this is starting to

465
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 3: feel like a lot to me.

466
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 6: Well, that's what and that's what happened. She brought something up. Well,

467
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 6: because then she started listing off what started as concern

468
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 6: like I'm concerned and I'm worried for you, and in

469
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 6: the text in person became you do this, this and this,

470
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 6: and I don't like it right, which is not conducive

471
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 6: to what the original conversation I thought was going to be,

472
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 6: which I could understand, like, you know, I need you

473
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 6: to not talk to me about this because it makes

474
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 6: me uncomfortable. Valid Yeah, but that's not how it ended

475
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 6: up playing out. It So now I just feel like

476
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 6: a little bit of like tiptoeing around my apartment because

477
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 6: and like scared to open my mouth because every single

478
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 6: feeling or like thing that happens.

479
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 3: But all you did was figure out that this wasn't

480
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 3: the person to go to for this, So it's are

481
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 3: you sure?

482
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,719
Speaker 6: Well it is. Once she started going off about all

483
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 6: these other things that I did wrong, I was like, okay,

484
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:15,479
Speaker 6: so I don't like I can't win for losing you know,

485
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 6: like every single thing that like it was just really

486
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 6: kind of insane, like saying like stuff about my dad,

487
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 6: like oh, I understand that happened, but like sometimes like

488
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 6: you just talk about it too much or like something, which.

489
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 3: She sounds like she's over it, which, by the way,

490
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with people being over it, yeah, because

491
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 3: they obviously they should say something earlier before it turned

492
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 3: into a big thing, and they could still use nonviolent communication,

493
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 3: like if she came to you and said like non

494
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 3: violent communication or conscious communication, if she was like this,

495
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 3: if she was heye, Celia, when you talk to me

496
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 3: at length about your medical problems or emotional problems, it

497
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 3: makes me feel because this is really what it is.

498
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 3: She doesn't know what though. It makes me feel powerless,

499
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 3: It makes me feel sad, makes me feel out of control.

500
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 3: So I would like to ask you to for can

501
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 3: we experiment for a month or so? You taking that

502
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 3: to someone else? Yeah, and is that okay? And you

503
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 3: would have probably said yes because it's a when you do,

504
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 3: it makes me feel and that's vulnerable. But she doesn't

505
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: know what she's feeling. She's she's getting angry, she's throwing

506
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 3: anger at you, which I get it. I've done that

507
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 3: a million times.

508
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 6: She told me scared frazzled, and I forgot that for

509
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 6: the third one.

510
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 3: But yeah, scared, I mean is valid, you know. But

511
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 3: she didn't sort of then ask you for what she wants.

512
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 3: She should say, you know, can I ask you to

513
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 3: go to someone else for a month? Can I ask

514
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 3: you to make our relationship just for fun for now?

515
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 3: Because sometimes they're just a fun friend. Yeah, sometimes they're

516
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 3: not everything we did those two episodes on friendship, A

517
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 3: friendship has to be like Anna said about a why Yeah,

518
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 3: so why were you guys friends in the first place?

519
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 6: We've been friends forever? And what's forever like since childhood,

520
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 6: like nursery school.

521
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: Okay, so probably she knows the deal with you. But

522
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 3: if I see someone I've known since childhood, you know,

523
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: kind of not progressing in certain areas, I'm getting worried.

524
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 3: And that's what she did.

525
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was just more of the like it was.

526
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 6: It was a self centered conversation. It wasn't like I

527
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 6: was not a part of it, if that makes sense, Like, right,

528
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 6: it was you do this, and when I get home

529
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 6: from work and you're having a bad day, I feel

530
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 6: like I can't have a bad day. And so I asked,

531
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 6: you know, I'm trying to think back right now on

532
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 6: a time where I had a bad day and you

533
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,959
Speaker 6: got home and you felt like you couldn't have your

534
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 6: bad day? Is there an example?

535
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 2: And she couldn't give you one.

536
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 3: No, But also you wouldn't know because she might have

537
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 3: hit it all. So it's you're both. She sort of

538
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 3: poisoned it by not being right up front and honest,

539
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 3: I mean resentment that that's just so hard to notice,

540
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 3: it's so quick and to do it. And you guys

541
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 3: have this long history, you might I mean, I don't

542
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: think you disagree with the sentence. That is a lot? Yeah,

543
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: like you a lot, bitch? Yeah, I don't think you

544
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 3: disagree at least is a lot.

545
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 6: No, I know, so we have.

546
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 3: To sort of. I have a friend Amy, who like,

547
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 3: we both have these dogs, Parker is one of mine,

548
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 3: and her dog is Jake, and at one point, like

549
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 3: they both I forget what was happened, and they were

550
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: both barking too much or ran away or something, or

551
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 3: we needed a fence or whatever. It's like years ago,

552
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: and we just go it's just mean, these fucking dogs

553
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 3: are a lot. Yeah, doesn't mean we don't like them.

554
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 3: But I don't want Parker to die. You don't want

555
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 3: Jake to die. Well, die when they do, but they'd

556
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 3: be a lot. Yeah. So I think we can know

557
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 3: where a lot, and we can know where a lot

558
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 3: for some, but we're not a lot for all.

559
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:24,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it kind of like and this is

560
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 6: not in her fault at all, but like, sit me

561
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 6: down a spiral, like of me now rethinking all of

562
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 6: my friendships, Like am I some dark selfish cloud over

563
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 6: like all of my friends and like I dismiss all

564
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 6: of their feelings or like you know, like it's but.

565
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: But but instead of doing the spiral is just just

566
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: something where you could shift it because now you're just

567
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: adding to the a lotanis Oh, so I went down

568
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 3: another spiral so I can allow myself to be even

569
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 3: more of a fucking Yeah.

570
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 6: But I'm just not talking to anyone because like I

571
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 6: don't I don't know, I don't have friend problems, like

572
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 6: I literally don't.

573
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 3: Well what wait, what would you clearly do if we're

574
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 3: talking about it? Then welcome to the fucking adulthood when

575
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: we actually tell the truth to people where all your friends,

576
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 3: and you might be thinking different things about each other

577
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 3: and not saying them. How would it feel. I'm not

578
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: saying you have to do this, You're not going to

579
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 3: do it anyway, and you probably maybe someday. How would

580
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 3: it feel to be like, hey, Joanne, some other random friend.

581
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: I know that I bring a lot to the table

582
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 3: in goodness and friendship, and you can count on me

583
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 3: and I can count on you. I do know I

584
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 3: bring a lot with the dramatic content I do. It's

585
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: my history. I'd love for you to point it out

586
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 3: to me if we ever have to talk about it

587
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 3: being a lot for you, because I'd love for our

588
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 3: friendship to continue as it is and not have any resentment.

589
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, my immediate because you can't, I'm breaking the lease.

590
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, but here's your other thought that

591
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 3: you don't listen to what I say. You don't address it,

592
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 3: like I'm literally telling you a solution, and you're like,

593
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 3: I'm back in the least. I'm like, okay, how do

594
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: we get there? After the fucking nice little script I wrote?

595
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 6: Yet I'm in like the my first initial thought, like

596
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 6: my initial.

597
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: Course it is, but why did that come out this second?

598
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 3: It almost feels like with Nick, how when I get

599
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 3: mad at him for like just yelling fuck yeah, when

600
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 3: I'm like talking and like why am I talking? I'm

601
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 3: not getting fucking rich off the iHeart fucking universe. That

602
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, you can't if someone's offering a solution,

603
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 3: It's almost like, do you want a solution. I'm not

604
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 3: saying follow advice. I'm just saying if somebody's in a conversation,

605
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 3: when did that? When did the least thing hit you

606
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:53,239
Speaker 3: and you had to say it?

607
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 6: I think it was. I think it were you actually

608
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 6: asking me yeah okay. I didn't know if that was

609
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 6: retorting no, when I think it was when when you said,

610
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 6: like when you started to wrap up, I was like,

611
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 6: see that. I in my head, I thought that's great.

612
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 6: What's funny is my initial thought was let's break the least.

613
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: Okay, So here's how you can communicate. Make the person

614
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 3: who talked know that you heard it. So if you

615
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 3: had said, yeah, you know that's and then but my

616
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 3: first thought was I'll break the lease. I would have said,

617
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 3: I know that's catastrophizing, and so we'd have a conversation. Yeah,

618
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 3: that the calmness you have to bring to a conversation.

619
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 3: That's what we're talking about, you know. So let's go backwards.

620
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 3: So if you instead of spinning, oh have I been

621
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 3: a burden to my friends? Am I a piece of shit?

622
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: And they hate me? How would it feel to say

623
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: to somebody, hey man, you know? And I have to

624
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 3: repeat the whole fucking thing again.

625
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 6: I remember, Okay, so you know what I mean.

626
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 3: You know, how would that feel to you? And you

627
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 3: don't have to lie and say, oh, yeah, I could

628
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 3: do that or I'm going to do that, because it's like,

629
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,439
Speaker 3: how would it feel to be that vulnerable and take

630
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 3: your lumps if you have to.

631
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 6: I think there's just certain people who I feel I

632
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 6: could do that with and there's certain people who I don't.

633
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 3: It's the difference between I don't know.

634
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 6: Actually this is like a thing that I've I have

635
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 6: in my life in general, Like even the same with

636
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 6: like physical touch, Like there's certain friends who like I

637
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 6: can hug and certain friends who I'm like, I don't

638
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 6: ever want to touch you. And like some of my friends,

639
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 6: I will tell them everything, and then my other ones,

640
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 6: I'm like, yeah, there's just something going on with this,

641
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 6: you know, vague.

642
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 3: So you kind of, but at least you know who

643
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 3: the safe people are.

644
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 6: Yeah.

645
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: It's the sad thing also that we kind of thought

646
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 3: this friend was the safe one, or was she?

647
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 6: It was kind of a middle ground. She's like, objectively

648
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 6: one of my best friends, but she's never been a

649
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 6: person who I go to for talking about like family

650
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 6: problems or just like real world problems because personally, I

651
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 6: never really thought that she like got it.

652
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 3: Okay, so is it that surprising that she didn't get it?

653
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 3: What you said, You've never been surprised that she didn't

654
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 3: get it?

655
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, why are we.

656
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 3: Surprised today yet?

657
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 6: I'm not.

658
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:25,839
Speaker 3: I was.

659
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 6: I'm more like mad because like I'm just I'm more like,

660
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 6: wake up, bitch, Like you have to call nine one

661
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 6: one in your life, like we're twenty three. I called

662
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 6: nine one one for the first time when I was six, Like,

663
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 6: wake up that if you think that's really scary, I.

664
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 3: Love this part.

665
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 6: You love angry you a lot coming for shit?

666
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 2: She had done private school, bitch too.

667
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it wasn't I called.

668
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 3: I called the ambulance. When I was my first year

669
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 3: living in the city after college. My friend was over

670
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 3: and I felt like I was having not a heart attack,

671
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: but I was like, oh, there's something going on up

672
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 3: in my chest. Oh I called. You know how long

673
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: a fucking ambulance takes in New York City and I

674
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: ended up my head. Guess I'm like, oh my god,

675
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: my friends. Probably, I don't know if we ever talked

676
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 3: after that. She wanted thought I was the dramatic bitch. Exactly.

677
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: It was pretty dramatic.

678
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 6: But still it's just if that's what you need to

679
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 6: do in the moment, then that's what needs to happen,

680
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 6: and your friends should support you for that. Like, I

681
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 6: don't think that that an EMT coming to check on you.

682
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 3: But that's not the issue. That's the phony issue. That's

683
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 3: the easy one that she's putting. She's really upset because

684
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 3: she cannot meet your needs and she doesn't.

685
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 6: I never asked for any Yes, but here's the problem.

686
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he shut up. Here's a problem. But no,

687
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 3: I love you, but here's a problem with you receivers.

688
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 3: You never ask for the advice, You never ask for it,

689
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 3: but you don't tell us you don't want it, so

690
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 3: we keep fucking doing it, and then your friends thirty

691
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 3: five years and she breaks up with you during covidrus me. See,

692
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: that's what happens Like that this woman I was caretaking

693
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 3: a bit like it sounds like she was doing with

694
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 3: you never said oh I don't want this, I don't

695
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: want you fucking bitches. You shoul say yeah, I don't

696
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 3: want advice right now? They always say do you want

697
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 3: a vent? Do you want to just hear her help?

698
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 3: Or do you just want me to you know, the

699
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: friends should ask that. So she should have said all

700
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,720
Speaker 3: this stuff to you, and I should have said to her,

701
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 3: she should have said, you're becoming a burden. I think

702
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 3: our big fears will be a burden, but I'd rather

703
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 3: be told I'm becoming a burden so I could stop.

704
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 6: And now I just feel like a burden all the time,

705
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 6: like to all of my friends because like I'm I

706
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 6: don't know if they all secretly like feel that wall.

707
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 3: That's back to where you derailed the solution before. Would

708
00:37:56,280 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: it feel threatening to individual have a go for coffee

709
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 3: and say, I know this ship is a lot, and

710
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 3: I think I bring a lot to the table friendship wise.

711
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 3: But have I made you feel burdened? I really hope not.

712
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 3: But I'm totally here to adjust our friendship if we

713
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 3: have to.

714
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, I actually end up calling one of my like

715
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,840
Speaker 6: my actual best best best friend right after.

716
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 3: You know, I couldn't hate anyone more than doctor Laura

717
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 3: because what she used to do was she would give

718
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 3: people these advices like I give you, and the person

719
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 3: would always say, yeah, I did that, and she's like, well,

720
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 3: if you fucking did it, why are you fucking telling me?

721
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 6: You know, because I got a really surprising I did it.

722
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 3: Go ahead, I got it, I did it.

723
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 2: I think the biggest mistake is you went to a

724
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 2: female doctor.

725
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 3: I have the biggest take that female friends. All right,

726
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 3: So go.

727
00:38:58,320 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 6: Ahead, I'm sorry.

728
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 3: I just doctor Lord or Doug Laura and be like, oh,

729
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 3: you tried everything. Then she'd just hang up on the

730
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: person I called.

731
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 6: I called my friend, and I was like, do I

732
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 6: do this to you?

733
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: Like?

734
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 6: And if I do, I please tell me. I don't

735
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 6: ever want, like I don't ever want what just happened

736
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 6: to happen again with another one of my friends. So

737
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 6: you know, you're my best friend. Is there anything that

738
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 6: I do like that? Do I need to stop ranting?

739
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 6: Do I need to stop you know?

740
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 2: Calling?

741
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 6: What is it? And she was like, honestly like like, no,

742
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 6: I I have learned and adjusted that there are times

743
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 6: when you don't want answers, you do not want a solution,

744
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,280
Speaker 6: You literally just want someone to be like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

745
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 6: that's so valid. And she, for her, we just have

746
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 6: an unspoken bond where she's like, I can tell when

747
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 6: you call me like that, it's you know you want

748
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 6: to answer or you really don't want an answer from me,

749
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 6: like you just want someone to listen and I can

750
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 6: tell for you. So I think that was just like

751
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 6: a epathy thing, like we have this great bond.

752
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:07,720
Speaker 3: But did you also thinking about the other one, the roommate?

753
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 3: Did you? So you knew friends in every category? Then

754
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,280
Speaker 3: so can we just relabel what this roommate is to you?

755
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 3: Because you you go, well, now I'm thinking about this

756
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: all my friends and yeah, so you're not.

757
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 6: No, yes, I am. For certain friends.

758
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 3: Then those are the ones I'm talking about. I'm not

759
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 3: talking about the one you already did it.

760
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I'm still really anxious about what happened.

761
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 2: Damn it.

762
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 6: Now you what, I'm still like really anxious about what

763
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:40,879
Speaker 6: happened because.

764
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 3: I feel lesson your anxiety. Would you like to know?

765
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 6: But I just feel Wait, would you like.

766
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:50,280
Speaker 3: To know how to lessen the anxiety? You just fucking

767
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 3: take action?

768
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 6: Just I know, I just she left town now, and

769
00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 6: I feel I feel annoyed because she got but you know,

770
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 6: like she got the good stuff out of it, do

771
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 6: you know what I mean? Like she could go off

772
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 6: that night and be all happy la la lah, and

773
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 6: I was like in my room crying. And I'm not

774
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 6: saying that that's I'm a victim or whatever, but like

775
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 6: I mean, do you kind of get what I'm saying,

776
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 6: Like she got the good side of it? And I

777
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 6: got like you do this and you do this, and

778
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 6: you do this, and you do this wrong and it

779
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 6: needs to be fixed. Whereas like she got all that

780
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 6: all of her free test.

781
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 3: What about her needs to be fixed to have the

782
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,720
Speaker 3: friendship because we want a solution to this, what about

783
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 3: her and your relationship or her personality needs to change?

784
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 6: Well I have a lot to say about that, okay.

785
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 6: And the problem is that I felt I couldn't come

786
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 6: come and say my own piece either. And I had

787
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 6: this whole thing written, like not like notes written that

788
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,879
Speaker 6: I took when I had my therapy before I met

789
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 6: with her, Like I really prepared and I apologized, and

790
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 6: I fell on my sword, especially about the texting that

791
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 6: I sent her a like listen, that was a moment

792
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 6: of weakness. I did not mean to scare you. I

793
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,959
Speaker 6: didn't communicate well and I'm really sorry. And I thought

794
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 6: that was a great job, like you know, I thought

795
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 6: we were gonna be done. And then it was like no,

796
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 6: and so actually and also and I was like wait,

797
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 6: also what But I didn't even get to read my

798
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 6: piece or like say any of the things. And then

799
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 6: I felt like if I did come back and be like, Okay, well,

800
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 6: you know, actually there are some things that you do

801
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 6: that bother me. That's like a tit for tat, Like.

802
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: No, it's a discussion. I don't know, it's a it

803
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 3: didn't have it started off too heightened. Yeah, but then

804
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,479
Speaker 3: it could have been a discussion. I've had seven hour

805
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 3: dinners with friends to hash shit out.

806
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, because you're just like we have to. You have to.

807
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 3: Because your common goal is to have the friendship survive.

808
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: So what do you take the if she went out

809
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 3: of town, take the few days and figure out just

810
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: what do you want from this? Do you want the friendship?

811
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: Do you want? Is she just good for fun. Is

812
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 3: she just someone you don't feel safe around at all?

813
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 6: I'm just angry, like I am so mad. No, like

814
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 6: I don't like it.

815
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 2: I don't like it either. Everything you're saying, yeah, like

816
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 2: when you were saying before, like it's tit for tat

817
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 2: like she said, it's just a conversation. But I would

818
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 2: feel the same way where.

819
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 6: I'm like, I gotta like, I gotta get one up.

820
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it.

821
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 3: But this is why you guys don't understand. I'm twice

822
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 3: your age. Practically, I'm like fourteen times her age. I

823
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 3: know a couple of things. I don't know much.

824
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 2: You know a couple, but I know.

825
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 3: That the friendships don't survive without the big, calm, even

826
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 3: tempered talk. And I think she was just splurting out

827
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 3: because she's just felt put upon for a while. And again,

828
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter that it's not your fault. It's not

829
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 3: about assigning blame at this point. It's about going, well,

830
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 3: how can we solve this? And solving might look like

831
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 3: walking away amicably, or it might look like, oh my god,

832
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 3: like let's just like have fucking fun. Like I'm not

833
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 3: gonna vent to you, it's okay, Like who cares and

834
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 3: get out what you're both annoyed with. That's why there

835
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 3: should be is friendship counseling, because like you can actually

836
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 3: do that. I have a couples therapy.

837
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 6: I also do have a point. She complains all the

838
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 6: fucking time every Sunday. She is going down that spiral.

839
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 6: So I just say, how.

840
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 3: How can you tell me she's unfixable because she won't?

841
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 2: How can you?

842
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 6: How can you tell me like that I am too much,

843
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 6: or that I complain too much, or that I don't

844
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 6: take action when you every Sunday like clockwork and are

845
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 6: spiraling and asking for help when I'm spiraling. I don't

846
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 6: even go as.

847
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 3: That you're both mentally ill? Yes, therapy what you are?

848
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 3: I know that I doubt she is. It doesn't sound

849
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 3: like she's any kind of therapy.

850
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 6: I don't know. I just think that there's some scapegoating

851
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 6: going on. I think that they're I.

852
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 3: Think like scapegoating. And what's the other one that they

853
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 3: gas light? The terms gaslighting cornhauling, Yeah, you need some

854
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 3: cornall shut the fu up. I just think also, Celia,

855
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 3: everyone is not for you, and you are not for everyone.

856
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 3: You're going to be too much for some people. I

857
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 3: have a friend who's a hypochondriac. Like I was saying before,

858
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 3: I rudely got cut off about a half hour ago,

859
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 3: and not by you, Nick for a change. And she

860
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 3: doesn't even know I know she's a hypochondriac. I just

861
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 3: am friendly to her. I don't take the nine one

862
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 3: one text from her. I'm just like, hope everything turned

863
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 3: out okay. So in other words, like I can accept

864
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 3: her for what she is. You need friends who can

865
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 3: accept you. We're all a little fucked up. You just

866
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 3: need her to accept you. But you you then have

867
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: to accept her little fucked up inness which was this

868
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 3: thing that she pushed down for all this time.

869
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, God, I hope she doesn't listen to this.

870
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 3: No one listens to this.

871
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: Trust me, not one person female doctor other.

872
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 3: Than my friend Amy with the dog, which I'm glad

873
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 3: I gave. She's gonna die. Literally, this is how good,

874
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 3: wild and good of a friend she is. She's the

875
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 3: type who every Tuesday when the podcast comes out, I

876
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,879
Speaker 3: will get a text at eight oh four or something

877
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 3: like that, Oh my god, and you like go down

878
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 3: a list of all the good things about the show

879
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 3: and everything. I mean, she never mentioned you Cilia, which

880
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 3: is you know, because it's only the good stuff, and

881
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 3: uh no.

882
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 2: That's my fucking that's why we're here today.

883
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 3: Problem.

884
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 6: Oh wait, this wasn't to tell I already had one

885
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 6: of those conversations to day.

886
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 3: It broke me. So I have a question, you're dramatic

887
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 3: told your question. I just want to say, it broke me.

888
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 3: You stop it your generation with this drama. I had

889
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 3: a conversation about Mike's and that baroke me. No it didn't.

890
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 3: You're sitting here, You're alive as far as I can see,

891
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 3: your skinny tits and all are hanging out here. It's fantastic.

892
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 2: War Day had.

893
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 3: It rough now, so every I think, just for anyone listening,

894
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 3: including Celia who's not listening book, its just who's a

895
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 3: good girl? Who's a good girl? Sometimes the language, the

896
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 3: dramatic content could be, content could be ratcheted down a little.

897
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 3: How about, oh, Nick, tell me about the my You

898
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 3: don't push the mic on reenact.

899
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 2: You don't push the mic on quick enough? All right?

900
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 3: I know I had a conversation about that the other day.

901
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 3: Someone else pointed out, So I'm gonna work on it.

902
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 6: I was talking about.

903
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: I mean, give her Brad's number.

904
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 3: Bro, you just.

905
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 6: All I meant was that you said if you were

906
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 6: telling me, this is more problem with you. I'm saying,

907
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 6: I just had a conversation with somebody who told me fifteen,

908
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 6: and there are problems with the trigger.

909
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 2: I'm gonna hug you so hard.

910
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 6: A question, what so what do I do about my roommates?

911
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 6: She's forever and now I have to talk to the

912
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,959
Speaker 6: other one and I haven't talked to her yet.

913
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 3: Take it down. I'm not sorry. I'm gonna ask you

914
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 3: a serious question.

915
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 6: Where did she go her young alumni weekend?

916
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 2: It's gay.

917
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 3: She shouldn't be doing stupid. Nobody likes anyone who goes

918
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 3: back any kind of reunion. Washed up?

919
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 2: All right?

920
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,280
Speaker 6: Sorry, Sorry, you're.

921
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 3: Just me Sorry, which I can't. I do too. I

922
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 3: like the anger, but you are this is a little

923
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 3: imbalanced now because you wouldn't allow yourself to get mad

924
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 3: at her before. Now you're fucking furious. Okay, so listen

925
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 3: what I'm just being funny.

926
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 2: You know you're a microphone tough guy.

927
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 6: All right, This is actually how I do talk to,

928
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 6: like talk with my friends in real life.

929
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 2: You just need to get over the hurt first.

930
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a hurt right now instead of I mean,

931
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 3: you know, angers they say is a secondary emotion. I

932
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 3: don't know if I agree, but the anger is high

933
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:44,839
Speaker 3: hiding the sadness over the Oh this person thinks I'm

934
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 3: not iconic.

935
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 6: It's embarrassment, low key like I feel like embarrassed.

936
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 3: Wait, here's the question, where else in your life has

937
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 3: this oh so and so is embarrassed of me? Shown up?

938
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 6: Oh no, I didn't feel that she was embarrassed of me.

939
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 6: I feel embarrassed that she like called me out on

940
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 6: like ten different things.

941
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 3: So why are you embarrassed? I don't you believe them?

942
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 3: Part of you believes them.

943
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 6: No, I feel embarrassed because I think that like normally,

944
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 6: I'm normally like the roommate who like I don't they

945
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 6: don't have no problems with me, like I'm I don't.

946
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 3: Really. Well, guess what that's a false that's a false

947
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 3: identity that it's not you. Yeah, because that's a sadness

948
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 3: of like, oh gosh, I'm not the lowest maintenance gallon

949
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 3: the world. Daddy.

950
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 6: Well, I do know that.

951
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 3: No, no, no, but no, you liked being the one

952
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 3: that no one ever has a problem with, So I

953
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 3: can fix it, you know, so you now your little

954
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 3: identity that you've built up, like I get along with everybody.

955
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,399
Speaker 3: It's just not true. So it's going well, I get

956
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 3: along with some people but not others. So what is

957
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 3: your question? How do I handle this roommate? Is that

958
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 3: or both roommates?

959
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,760
Speaker 6: I just because I feel so uncomfortable in my apartment

960
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 6: right now.

961
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 3: Well, your dad's so fucking good with money, that fucking

962
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 3: drug addict. Tell them to buy you your own apartment

963
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 3: in the city. It's an investment. Jesus chrazy could scare

964
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 3: up a fucking million for his daughter. You're working hard,

965
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 3: you think you lost the weight.

966
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 2: Look at you.

967
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: You need to get some dick dad, if you're listening,

968
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 3: stop buying the prescription drugs and invent by the way, dad,

969
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 3: which I should have done. If you had a brain

970
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 3: in your fucking heads to invent a chair or some

971
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 3: other device that a dentist could use so they didn't

972
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 3: have to fucking bend over backwards for their fucking patience,

973
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 3: maybe you should have used your fucking brains for that.

974
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 3: And fucking drug addict, Oh, so get on that invention train,

975
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 3: invent something and buy her a fucking apartment so she

976
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 3: don't have to deal with these people.

977
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, case closed.

978
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 3: How's that for a solution, Celia? You like that one?

979
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 3: I think she's speechless? What what we gotta cut that out?

980
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 3: What shouldn't he have invented that chair? Is that a

981
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:02,280
Speaker 3: good idea?

982
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 6: I mean yeah, but he's also seventy two, so that

983
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 6: was like fifty years ago when he.

984
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 3: Was that happened. He could have done it done.

985
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 6: Really, there is no technology like there's like nothing.

986
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 3: Your roommates should kill you to the original plan needs

987
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 3: to be euthodized. I just think you have to work

988
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,359
Speaker 3: on the anger as far as figure out what's underneath it,

989
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 3: figure out what needs to be said to them. I

990
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 3: know it's cliche, but mean what you say, say what

991
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,399
Speaker 3: you mean, but don't say it mean.

992
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,399
Speaker 6: See, that's my That's where I get wrong. I get

993
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 6: wrong because I I can't. If I say what I mean,

994
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:55,240
Speaker 6: I'm fucking evil.

995
00:52:55,719 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 3: No, do you wait, pretend I'm the roommate because I

996
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 3: hate you right now, so we can, Celia, I know,

997
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 3: look at me, I'm gonna be the roommate. I know

998
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 3: I was a little I held in a lot of

999
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 3: resentments and I shouldn't have sprouted all that onto you.

1000
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 3: But it's just really how I feel. What do you think?

1001
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 6: I think? Okay, I can. I can't invalidate your feelings

1002
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 6: because that's that's not fair, correct, So I can, I

1003
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 6: can appreciate that, I can take it in and I

1004
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,439
Speaker 6: can only work on it from here.

1005
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 3: But what's that gonna look like, Celia? Because when you

1006
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 3: move the fuck out and your dad hadn't been such

1007
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 3: a drug addict and invented a chair, I've heard this

1008
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 3: idea of somewhere, Hostell. He told me he could have

1009
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 3: bought you an apartment. You want desperately to tell her

1010
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,439
Speaker 3: all this year you're mad about.

1011
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,320
Speaker 6: With her exactly, which is immature of it.

1012
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 3: It's not it's you mean. So what you have to

1013
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 3: do is you have to get a way to say

1014
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:05,399
Speaker 3: them not mean.

1015
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 6: So that's why she didn't spare me, right?

1016
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 3: So do you want to always go to the lowest

1017
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 3: common denominator?

1018
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 2: Do you want to get it? I get where you're

1019
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 2: coming from.

1020
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 3: We all get it. Do you think I haven't?

1021
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:17,919
Speaker 6: I know it's not.

1022
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 3: Going to do if you don't. If you value your

1023
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 3: anger and your meanness quote unquote, which you are not

1024
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 3: a mean person. But you're kind of trying to be

1025
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 3: brave and say you are. It's bullshit. I'm the only

1026
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 3: mean person in the world. You need to get that

1027
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 3: work done and go I'm only gonna fucking approach her

1028
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 3: when I'm ready to not say it in a mean,

1029
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 3: angry way. It's easy to it's not that hard to say,

1030
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 3: I'm really upset with you that you like I said

1031
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 3: to Nigel, yeah, you fucking I said, Tim, step it

1032
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 3: up on the fucking podcast. Don't be saying all this

1033
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 3: dumb shit and sleep through the damn thing. And so

1034
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 3: we didn't have a fight over and he says, yeah, yeah, man,

1035
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 3: I know I got a lot of energy today. Don't

1036
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:58,439
Speaker 3: worry about it.

1037
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: So there's I'm fucking killing it.

1038
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you are destroying it. I've said many times, you've

1039
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 3: destroyed the podcast. So just you gotta process this anger

1040
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 3: with the shrink and with the safe people and then

1041
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,400
Speaker 3: know what you have to say to her, because do

1042
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 3: you want the friendship. You have to figure that out.

1043
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,839
Speaker 6: I know that. I think I've been really struggling with

1044
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 6: that in the past two days, and I think it's

1045
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,240
Speaker 6: really masked by the anger.

1046
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:24,439
Speaker 2: Of course, So.

1047
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 6: I'm just like, fuck, this bitch. There's nothing wrong with me. Fuck,

1048
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 6: you are breaking the lease.

1049
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 3: I'm leaving.

1050
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 6: You're gonna be jealous of my friends, and then you.

1051
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 3: Can do all that and then.

1052
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 6: And then I'm like, okay, wait, but like we have

1053
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 6: so much fun together, and like she may.

1054
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 3: Be fun friend, and then a year from now you'll go,

1055
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 3: oh my god. I almost blew it up out of

1056
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 3: resentment and out of anger, and I just had to

1057
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 3: work on my stuff. And it's a blessing she went

1058
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 3: away this weekend because you can work through it. And

1059
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 3: you can and I kind of figure it out.

1060
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 6: Speak to the other roommate and try to just apologize,

1061
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:03,360
Speaker 6: I guess.

1062
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:07,399
Speaker 3: But and do whatever you do. Do not triangulate that ship. No,

1063
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 3: do not. Don't say her fucking name. You're you're smirking

1064
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 3: a little because you know I was going to.

1065
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 2: Don't talk shit to the.

1066
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 3: It is not to no, it is I have students

1067
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 3: that I teach. These kids are like eighteen nineteen year old.

1068
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:23,800
Speaker 3: Half the time I want to poke one and go

1069
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 3: look at this fucking yoke. You can't fucking do it,

1070
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 3: So keep her name just forbidden.

1071
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 6: I was, I was, I was, But now after I

1072
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:34,800
Speaker 6: see your eyeballs.

1073
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 3: But also seeing here she probably has a history with

1074
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 3: the other roommate too, of telling not telling her stuff,

1075
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 3: or with her parents or her other friends. So maybe

1076
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 3: go this wance. No. Once the anger is processed and

1077
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 3: you're like, wait a minute, I do remember our history,

1078
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 3: the anger will lift and then you'll be like, what

1079
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 3: are the good things? Make a list of the good things. Yeah,

1080
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 3: and there's bad things with everybody, of course, But you

1081
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 3: know what, sometimes just going oh yeah, once I calm down,

1082
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 3: it was okay.

1083
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 6: I think it's always like I always used to say,

1084
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 6: something like middle school and middle school drama. I'd be like,

1085
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,919
Speaker 6: I just want this to blow over, like blow over.

1086
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 3: Well, guess what you have to blow it over? Yeah,

1087
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 3: because you can't. It can't always default to the kid's mentality.

1088
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 6: Of course. I just meant like I always you always

1089
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 6: want it to be over, of course. But I don't

1090
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 6: really know what that's going to look like now for me,

1091
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 6: because like I've never had like this. I don't know

1092
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 6: what's gonna happen when she comes back. I don't know

1093
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 6: how to act.

1094
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 3: I don't know how to Well, here's a question to you.

1095
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 3: We've given you some solutions. None of which you're gonna take.

1096
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 3: That's not true, so oh, I like to like kick true.

1097
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 3: If if you were coaching a friend through this problem, yeah,

1098
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 3: and try to keep it succinct, what would you tell

1099
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 3: them to do.

1100
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 6: I'd say, take take some space. Luckily there's is some

1101
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 6: built in space, and just just try to approach the

1102
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 6: friendship differently from then. The problem is what is different?

1103
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 6: What does difference?

1104
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. If you're the coach, I know, Yeah,

1105
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 3: would you tell a friend to change about this dynamic?

1106
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 6: I think choose, choose your friends who you rant to

1107
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 6: and ask for solutions from wisely, and communicate what you want,

1108
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 6: whether that's I just need to like to go off

1109
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 6: for a minute, or I need like I need advice,

1110
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 6: I need help.

1111
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 3: So what you said, which I love, by the way,

1112
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 3: every second, and that is great. What's great is that

1113
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 3: whole thing about accept your friends where they are, but

1114
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 3: know where to place them. So I can accept Nick

1115
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 3: as a friend if I place him in the right spot.

1116
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 3: Am I gonna call him and expect the conversation to

1117
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 3: ever be about me? No, it's always Nick center, because

1118
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 3: Nick always has more going on than everybody else. Yeah,

1119
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,920
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna do that, but I accept him. And

1120
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 3: then on the occasion he asked me a question, I

1121
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 3: go ding ding ding, score one for the week. No,

1122
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 3: it's true. But also I have a big history of

1123
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 3: centering myself, so I understand where he's coming. So we know. So, yeah,

1124
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 3: we caught on what I do. I'm just kidding. Shut up,

1125
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. That's for another three days. Don't worry

1126
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 3: about it.

1127
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 6: Like for some reason, I just want to ask you

1128
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 6: all these questions now, and well, we'll do.

1129
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:44,440
Speaker 3: Another We'll do a cliffhanger. So we're gonna come back

1130
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:48,080
Speaker 3: with season two of how Celia has fixed this. Actually

1131
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 3: that's not a bad idea.

1132
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, we could do an update. Yeah we brought the

1133
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 6: roommate in.

1134
00:59:51,760 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 3: Oh No. But I think sometimes a lot of the

1135
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 3: answer is if I was coaching a friend through this,

1136
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 3: what would I tell them? Yeah, and also, this is

1137
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 3: gonna sound I don't think this is very woo woo.

1138
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 3: It just makes so much sense. You can always in

1139
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 3: life approach everything from two angles and moods. Your mood

1140
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 3: is like the climate, right, it's not like the weather,

1141
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 3: So say, your mood in general is a mood of resentment.

1142
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 3: The weather's not gonna be great. It's gonna be always

1143
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 3: a little cloudy. It's gonna be also not great. It's

1144
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 3: gonna be there's gonna be fear and anger and all

1145
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 3: these emotions we don't like. If you're approaching it from

1146
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 3: a mood of gratitude, and I know that's become a

1147
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 3: cliche gratitude, but it fucking works firsthand. I know if

1148
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 3: everything is gratitude for what this is teaching me, gratitude

1149
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 3: for the circumstance that I was given this gift or whatever,

1150
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 3: the weathers of mood is a lot better so the

1151
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 3: actual Wow, I'm feeling a little joyful, happy, a little peaceful.

1152
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 3: So as you're thinking about her, be like, do I

1153
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 3: want to approach this with the mood of gratitude or resentment?

1154
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 3: Do I want to look at his You know, I'm

1155
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 3: pretty grateful for all the years. I mean, we're probably

1156
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 3: eighty percent of good times. M Let me see what

1157
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 3: I can save in this. Let me see if the

1158
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 3: anger can dissipate a little because I'm grateful for what

1159
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 3: she's done. Make a list. I bet you could no

1160
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 3: lie in this many years of friendship. I do not

1161
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 3: doubt you could have one hundred things on that list. Absolutely,

1162
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:34,400
Speaker 3: so the mood of gratitude is gonna shift this. If

1163
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 3: you want to stay in this mood of resentment that

1164
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 3: you've had today until the second, you can, and you'll

1165
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 3: find a hundred fucking things to write down about her name.

1166
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 3: We're ending this, and I'm gonna have Daddy in ft

1167
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 3: a chair and get the department the army. I want

1168
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 3: to invent the chair. This is why I want to

1169
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 3: you know what I'm talking about. I want to invent

1170
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 3: an invention to make him rich and buy your place.

1171
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 3: So anyway I want if you want to stay in resentment,

1172
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:05,760
Speaker 3: you can. Is it serving your life? Is it serving

1173
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 3: your friendship? We know the answer is no. Only an

1174
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:12,479
Speaker 3: idiot would say yes. So I'm not even letting you talk,

1175
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 3: so you don't. Okay, you don't have to. We've got

1176
01:02:16,480 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 3: to one and a half funny people on the show.

1177
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 3: I'll take the half at this point. I don't believe today.

1178
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 3: But does no, no, girl, you're you're you're you're amusing.

1179
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 6: I'll give you at me.

1180
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 3: No no, actually no, that means you will say a

1181
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 3: pithy thing here and there, cute funny.

1182
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 6: I love that can't get concert next to lie, so

1183
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 6: we have to be friends by the next July.

1184
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 3: Okay, if this isn't solved by next July, then this

1185
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 3: is not supposed to happen. And by the way, tickets

1186
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 3: should never be to keep a bad friendship. But this

1187
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 3: doesn't sound like a bad friendship. Do what I said,

1188
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 3: stop thinking tends to into it. So you could make

1189
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 3: a joke. You got to get yourself in the resentment

1190
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 3: out gratitude in you when we see you in however

1191
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 3: long season two is premiering, which isn't very long. We

1192
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 3: would like to see this list of a hundred things

1193
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 3: you are grateful for about this person. I bet it

1194
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 3: could be more than that.

1195
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely do it, and you.

1196
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 3: Will when she comes home. Yes, it doesn't mean we'll

1197
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 3: all have lifted magically, but you will approach her with

1198
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 3: curiosity and not contempt. Okay, well that was easy.

1199
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 6: I mean, you're right.

1200
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 3: I just Celia's fixed.

1201
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 6: The only hesitation I have left. It's the only thing.

1202
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 3: And then I am nine one one. I think I'm

1203
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 3: having a heart attack. I can't feel the right side

1204
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 3: of my body. Oh wait, I'm being dramatic.

1205
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 2: Fuck you.

1206
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 3: Go ahead, wait, wait, what what time? What? What time

1207
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 3: is it now? How much have we been recording?

1208
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 6: Actually it's like it's in forty minutes.

1209
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 3: That's it. Boy, did it seem longer? Wait? I just

1210
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 3: got a great text, and I'm not gonna lie to you.

1211
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:20,720
Speaker 3: Got a text from my funeral director. My Headstone has

1212
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 3: written stacked next season too, We'll be fixing Celia even

1213
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 3: more and will be killing me.

1214
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 2: Yes, but isn't that great news?

1215
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,280
Speaker 3: I'm not Maybe do you know how that ties into

1216
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 3: this subject? I'll tell you how. First of all, on

1217
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 3: my gravestone, I just get it done in advance so

1218
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 3: that nobody has to worry about me later or caretake me.

1219
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 3: So anyway, I want the words big dick energy on

1220
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 3: my two Why has that been? I have big dick energy.

1221
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna tell you how this circles back to

1222
01:04:55,360 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 3: your conversation. Okay, this worry and this sings. It's troubling

1223
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 3: because I remember I started conversations with this Headstone guy

1224
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 3: literally ten months ago, paid half ten months later, the

1225
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,400
Speaker 3: thing wasn't put in. That's a long time, yea. And

1226
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 3: I remember about three months ago, I was like all

1227
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 3: charged up, I'm worried. Suppose I die tomorrow, Like, I

1228
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: don't think I'm gonna, but God forbid I get into Carson.

1229
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 3: How the fuck am I going to know if it's

1230
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 3: going to get put in right? Who's paying? What's going on?

1231
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 3: And then I don't know. I started working on worry

1232
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 3: and stuff. I was like, oh, it'll get solved, like

1233
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 3: literally everything in our life always gets solved, or else

1234
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 3: we would be dead. So every I'm saying you're worry

1235
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 3: and ruminating and stewing and spiraling. Try I'm not saying

1236
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 3: it's miraculous. Oh just stop, No, try to catch it earlier.

1237
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:57,400
Speaker 3: And maybe you catch it a little earlier, and you

1238
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 3: focus on the gratitude. Did you catch it like I

1239
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 3: suppose you instead of a half hour, you only lose

1240
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:06,560
Speaker 3: twenty nine minutes. That's a triumph. So my worry over

1241
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 3: that tombstone, I get a text right now, like I say,

1242
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 3: saying it's done. Was that worry wasted?

1243
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 2: Yes?

1244
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 3: Did I worry about it less than the three months

1245
01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:16,479
Speaker 3: that I've been working on it, Yes, So I've lost

1246
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:20,320
Speaker 3: less power and brain cells and energy to that guy,

1247
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 3: and he did the right thing at the end. So

1248
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 3: the thing is going to work out or else you'd

1249
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 3: be dead or homeless. Can you all just notice the

1250
01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:35,920
Speaker 3: worry and without judgment, let it go a little quicker

1251
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 3: next time. Yes, I know you're saying that, and it's

1252
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:41,080
Speaker 3: hard to.

1253
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 6: Believe if nobody that was confronted because I didn't like it.

1254
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:47,160
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's it for us.

1255
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:54,600
Speaker 3: I'm kidding. I just don't worry in general, because worry

1256
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 3: is suffer you. Well, it's suffering over something that will

1257
01:06:58,320 --> 01:06:59,560
Speaker 3: probably never happen.

1258
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 2: Already have I think it more than it will happen.

1259
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 3: And maybe your parents need to be dead? Just kidding you?

1260
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:11,959
Speaker 3: Oh my god?

1261
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:15,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh Nick, Nick, Nick, what are your thoughts?

1262
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 2: I get to worry about the parents thing? I guess.

1263
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 3: Wait, I want to say one thing, y'all, listeners who

1264
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 3: have a brain in your head, neither Celia nor Nick

1265
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:31,280
Speaker 3: could understand and embody the things I'm telling them to

1266
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 3: you guys, can I know there's a few listeners out there.

1267
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 3: I'm gonna na name Amy, Sarah, Bobby, Darren, random people

1268
01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:45,480
Speaker 3: who text me about the podcast. You understand, right, it's

1269
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 3: not falling on deaf ears right because he's two in

1270
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:58,200
Speaker 3: the studio. They're broken and irredeemable. Why no, But I

1271
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 3: have to say, Celia, thank you for volunteering to be

1272
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:06,680
Speaker 3: a subject. We're gonna come back season two with a

1273
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 3: big update. Find out if Celia is homeless, if she

1274
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 3: has roommates or not, if she has any friends, because

1275
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:15,080
Speaker 3: personally I would have dumped her at this point, she's

1276
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:18,800
Speaker 3: so annoying. If her dad invented a chair and bought him,

1277
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:22,840
Speaker 3: bought her an apartment, which I would love. Yeah, we'll

1278
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:27,520
Speaker 3: find out if Nick has hair and is skinny.

1279
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 2: Okay you think written, I'm never a skinny guy. I'm

1280
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 2: always like, I.

1281
01:08:30,479 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 3: Don't mean skinny. I mean if you will not be

1282
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:34,000
Speaker 3: as misshaped.

1283
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, No, it's time. It's time to trim this

1284
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 2: sh up. I'm gonna get Me and Celia are gonna

1285
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 2: share bras. We're gonna buy them.

1286
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:40,320
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1287
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:40,880
Speaker 2: How about this.

1288
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 3: We don't have a season two till you're in shape,

1289
01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 3: so we'll see you four years from after. That tombstone

1290
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:51,640
Speaker 3: is being used. Stupid thing that we say at the end,

1291
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:54,640
Speaker 3: say it, Let's see if it can actually be memorized.

1292
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 5: Come on right, Okay, guys, thanks for listening so much,

1293
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:04,639
Speaker 5: so if you want to, if you want to reach

1294
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:09,639
Speaker 5: out to this show, where fucking stupid people talk for an.

1295
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 2: Hour or so.

1296
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:14,599
Speaker 4: Email us at shrink this Show at gmail dot com.

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01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 4: That is, shrink this Show at gmail dot com. You

1298
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:22,040
Speaker 4: could follow Lisa Lisa Lampinelli on Instagram. You could follow

1299
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:25,160
Speaker 4: me at Nick Scopes on Instagram and tiktoks and all

1300
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,280
Speaker 4: that stuff. And please listen to the podcast on your

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01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 4: iHeartRadio app or anywhere you get podcasts.

1302
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:35,759
Speaker 3: So you did it without a script. I do good actor.

1303
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:40,439
Speaker 2: Let's kill the Celia.

1304
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 3: We're totally killing her.

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01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:42,800
Speaker 2: I get it.

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01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 3: See you for season two. Bye bye,