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Speaker 1: Welcome to can'tfully Reckless the production of iHeartRadio and the

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Speaker 1: Black Effects. Oh shit, we on the air, Welcome back

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Speaker 1: to you had another carefully reckless episode with your girl

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Speaker 1: ess hilarious. All right, this is a long story. We

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Speaker 1: got a voice note and I'm glad, honey, because I

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Speaker 1: did not want to have to read all this. Here

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Speaker 1: we go.

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Speaker 2: So me and my girl have been together for going

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Speaker 2: on six years. After a year of being together, she

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Speaker 2: wanted to have a child. She's always played on her

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Speaker 2: stepmom or whatnot, and she wanted to have a child

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Speaker 2: of brown. Well, we're twelve years apart, she's older, and

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Speaker 2: she was like, you know, she wanted to have a child.

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Speaker 3: IBF.

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Speaker 2: She had her eggs on ice, she already had them ejected,

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Speaker 2: they're five days old or whatnot. And she basically gave

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Speaker 2: me an ultimatum that if I didn't have if I

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Speaker 2: didn't carry the kid, but we weren't.

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Speaker 3: Gonna be together. But she was like, if I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: do it on my own, I will be on my home. Wow.

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Speaker 3: I loved hear and everything. So I did it well.

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Speaker 2: In the state of Texas, if you are not married

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Speaker 2: in the same sex relationship, then you basically have to

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Speaker 2: consent to being a surrogate in the eyes of the law.

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Speaker 2: So I basically signed a document and stating that I

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Speaker 2: knew I didn't have rights to the shower or anything

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Speaker 2: like that. I signed the document and she was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, after we have it, then you know we

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Speaker 2: can you know, we can established rights and whatnot.

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Speaker 3: See how it goes. Because again we've all been together

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Speaker 3: for a year. We were the typical uha lesbians. I

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Speaker 3: ain't even gonna line. Definitely were met each other.

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Speaker 2: We stayed in contact for seven months, like because she

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Speaker 2: had somebody, but they weren't intimate, sleeping in separate bands,

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Speaker 2: t had had sex in two years, all.

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Speaker 3: That good stuff. Like they weren't basically roommates.

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Speaker 2: Like when she told her about me, we me and

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Speaker 2: my girl, I had the house for a week, the

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Speaker 2: other girl had the house for the next week, and we.

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Speaker 3: Weren't rotating until the until the house soul. So like

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Speaker 3: she wasn't lying.

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Speaker 2: So from then on, you know, once I found out,

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Speaker 2: you know, because during those seven.

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Speaker 3: Months we were just friends.

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Speaker 2: Talking, how you doing, whatnot. I liked her, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't I didn't make any advances. I didn't disrespect their

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Speaker 2: relationship or anything. I didn't know what it was until

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Speaker 2: we got to talking more and she finally told me

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Speaker 2: how it was, and I shot my shot and I

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Speaker 2: had nothing but neck. So moved in with each other

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Speaker 2: within a in an apartment.

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Speaker 3: And eventually here we are. We have a house and

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Speaker 3: we have the kids.

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Speaker 2: Well the little boy is he just turned four, so

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Speaker 2: it's been four years.

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Speaker 3: I still do not have rights.

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Speaker 2: We got a better deal because her credit was better

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Speaker 2: than mine on.

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Speaker 3: The house, so the house is only in her name.

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Speaker 3: But like I told her, I can go on the deed.

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Speaker 3: I don't have to go on the mortgage.

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Speaker 2: So I don't have rights to a child I carried

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Speaker 2: and birthed c section.

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Speaker 3: Mind you, I don't have any rights to the house.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't have a will, she doesn't have a power

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Speaker 2: of attorney. There's no trust or revocable or irrevocable set

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Speaker 2: up anything. I was like, you don't have to marry me,

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Speaker 2: but there's gonna be some type of security that I

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Speaker 2: want there.

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Speaker 3: We have been together almost six years. I have a ring.

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Speaker 3: But she didn't propose or anything.

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Speaker 2: She was just like, you're happy birthday, and she only

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Speaker 2: gave it to me because I told her, I get

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Speaker 2: you a physical gift. Why didn't I get one? So

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Speaker 2: it was basically a guilty conscious birthday gift.

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Speaker 3: But we aren't married. There's no legal.

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Speaker 2: Documents in place to where if anything happens that I'll

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Speaker 2: get the child or anything else or like the house,

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Speaker 2: her business. Like we have like three businesses set up.

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Speaker 2: I won't get anything. And I helped you build this.

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Speaker 2: I'm not an old digger. I'm you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: We both weren't. We both have our own money, but

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Speaker 2: I helped you build what you have. I'm the reason

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Speaker 2: we weren't able to put six figures down on the

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Speaker 2: house because while I was carrying. We're both truck drivers.

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Speaker 3: While I was.

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Speaker 2: Carrying, she was able to be the owner operator and

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Speaker 2: make four figures a week.

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Speaker 3: So come time to get the house.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, she was able to put

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Speaker 2: down a six figure down payment and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: well you should.

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Speaker 3: Pay back pay me back half.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, I carried this child and that was

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Speaker 2: out of work because I couldn't find a company that

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Speaker 2: had that was that would work with.

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Speaker 3: Dead care schedule hours.

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Speaker 2: So I was out of work and I couldn't do

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Speaker 2: any of that, so I carried was out of work

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Speaker 2: while you had all this money, and you think I

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Speaker 2: started to pay you back half in order to go

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Speaker 2: own anything.

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Speaker 3: I'm the reason why we got all of this shit

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Speaker 3: part of it. So it's just fissing me off that

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Speaker 3: were not married.

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Speaker 2: There's no legal documentation. I have no security on our relationship.

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Speaker 2: But it hasn't been that great because and now I'm

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Speaker 2: working away from home, back off the road, and she's

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Speaker 2: home locally.

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Speaker 3: She has an extra trouble, but I got a ticket.

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Speaker 3: I gotta wait for that.

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Speaker 2: To far off, so I'm out here in the oil

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Speaker 2: field until then. But still it makes me upset that

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Speaker 2: here we are. I I only I usually only.

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Speaker 3: Get five years. Usually nobody can make it past year

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Speaker 3: with me.

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Speaker 2: But I always said after five years, if I'm not married,

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Speaker 2: I'm leaving. Well, we're approaching six years and I'm I'm

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Speaker 2: getting to the point where.

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Speaker 3: I don't you know, I don't think it's fair to me.

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Speaker 2: It would hurt to leave and be very hard, but

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Speaker 2: it's not fair to me that I did all this.

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Speaker 2: It helped you build all this and everything, and you

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Speaker 2: think that it's okay to just be shacking up with

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Speaker 2: no legality behind it.

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Speaker 3: Who do you think? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Oh, when I wanted to add that I moved out.

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Speaker 3: A few months ago into an apartment.

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm not gonna be paying on the house,

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Speaker 2: house or daycare. I'm not paying to warrant anything that

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Speaker 2: my name is not attached to.

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Speaker 3: Ye.

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Speaker 2: I'm still there for the little boy in his birthday

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Speaker 2: and still get them things, and I see them and

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Speaker 2: I you know, I get the kids and everything, cause.

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Speaker 3: I have one before her, and you know, we still

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Speaker 3: do all that.

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Speaker 2: But I'm like, I'm not paying for daycare, and I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to be living in a house, paying on

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Speaker 2: the mortgage or.

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Speaker 3: Anything that my neighbor is not attached to.

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Speaker 2: I hold out got an apartment and it's been four

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Speaker 2: months now, and I told myself, I'm gonna give it

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Speaker 2: to the end of the lease if she has not

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Speaker 2: done any paperwork trying to say that I'm going to leave.

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Speaker 2: I'm not competent in my answer, but that's what I'm

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Speaker 2: leaning towards because it's showing me that my concerns and

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Speaker 2: my security does not matter to her. And I've got

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Speaker 2: one foot out of the door, and you still haven't

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Speaker 2: done anything. So I don't know. Do I have my answer?

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Speaker 2: Just did I get my answer anything?

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Speaker 1: Well, you got a couple questions, so hold up, Hold up.

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Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, But listen to just

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Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,

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Speaker 1: you'll listen.

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Speaker 2: And I know in the beginning, we each had our

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Speaker 2: own insecurities. She was with her ex for fifteen years

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Speaker 2: and never married, but back then it wasn't legal, and

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Speaker 2: by the time it became legal, she knew that the

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Speaker 2: relationship was dead.

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Speaker 3: And you know it was over. She didn't want to

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Speaker 3: marry her.

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Speaker 2: I said, well, first of all, I'm not waiting fifteen years.

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Speaker 3: Let's get that understood.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm not her, You're not my excess, you know,

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Speaker 2: And I gave it time.

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Speaker 3: I ain't think six yeers as long. You know, I

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Speaker 3: stuck around even when I did my rights. I'm just still.

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Speaker 2: I was there for over a year paying on a

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Speaker 2: house that I was not that my name was not on.

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Speaker 2: You know, I have helped you build a business because

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Speaker 2: she does the paperwork of it. I do the hiring,

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Speaker 2: the replacement of the trucks. Hey, I even helped sell

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Speaker 2: one of her trucks. You know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 2: the business is in your name. You said I was

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Speaker 2: a partner, but my name is not on that LLC.

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Speaker 2: It is not in that markles of incorporation. I have

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Speaker 2: my own business. I know exactly how that shit is,

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Speaker 2: and I am not on it. So don't just tell

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Speaker 2: me I'm a partner, and don't make it official.

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Speaker 3: I don't care that you have the paperwork sitting on

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Speaker 3: your computer.

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Speaker 2: I don't care that you have an attorney that can

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Speaker 2: draw up the paperwork of you know, the kids and

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Speaker 2: the will and the trust.

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Speaker 3: You ain't done it yet.

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Speaker 1: Right right? And she also wrote this part and her

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Speaker 1: girlfriend as a stud and she is the film.

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Speaker 2: And when she initially told me, she was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: there's been too many times where the films had came

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Speaker 2: with kids and the stud got close to the kids

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Speaker 2: and then they take them away or play them as

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Speaker 2: pawns and.

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Speaker 3: Stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: So she said she always wanted to be in a

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Speaker 2: situation where no one could take the.

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Speaker 3: Kid from her.

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Speaker 2: So, I mean, I understand understood her point of view

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Speaker 2: on that, but I've done put my time. And that

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Speaker 2: was when we were together for a year.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's going on six.

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Speaker 2: So I think I've done more than prove that I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't and am not one of those.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Okay, Well that was loaded. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you that that was a lot. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: you was driving a damn truck too. I'm like, how

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Speaker 1: the hell are you gonna be sending me a damn

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Speaker 1: voice note? And where's the hits, the cancel out the

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Speaker 1: noise in the back?

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Speaker 2: Girl?

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Speaker 1: You girl, No, it's all good. I heard you though.

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Speaker 1: I heard everything you said. I heard you out and clear,

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Speaker 1: and all jokes aside. I want to say congratulations to

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Speaker 1: both you and her just dominating that industry, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, I love to see women doing

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Speaker 1: things that they say that, you know, the naysayers say

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Speaker 1: only men can do, and only men can thrive in,

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Speaker 1: and only men can dominate. I love that. My my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend is a truck driver. I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 1: And when I go with him or you know, I

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Speaker 1: see him, I talk to him, and I go meet

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Speaker 1: up with him and bring him lunch stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: I see women parking their trucks on the lots and stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I just I love seeing that, so, but that

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Speaker 1: ain't what we're talking about right now. Girl, First of all,

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Speaker 1: what do you want? Do you want to beat with

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Speaker 1: her or do you only want rights to the child?

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Speaker 1: You're not really specific on what you want me to

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Speaker 1: help with. I can go off of everything that you

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Speaker 1: told me, and I can tell you what it looks like.

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Speaker 1: To me. It looks like both of you were damaged

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Speaker 1: her a lot more in y'all passed relationships before each other.

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Speaker 1: And then I also, I feel like y'all both let

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Speaker 1: that spill over intil this relationship, and that's why y'all

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Speaker 1: coming up on six years and there's still have been

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Speaker 1: just stagnant. You feel like y'all stopped a long time ago,

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Speaker 1: y'all just coasting. You moved out because you feel like

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Speaker 1: your name should be on something you don't you feel

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Speaker 1: and I understand that. I feel like what it looks

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Speaker 1: like to me is she has been wronged so many

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Speaker 1: times in the past that she actually set herself up

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Speaker 1: to where if y'all were ever to break up or

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Speaker 1: you would ever leave her, she can have everything. Still.

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Speaker 1: You know that may seem selfish, and in a lot

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Speaker 1: of cases it is. It is especially if what you're

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Speaker 1: saying is definitely to be true. Yo, I helped you

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Speaker 1: do this. You wouldn't even be here if it was

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Speaker 1: if it wasn't for me, and if I didn't have

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Speaker 1: this we worked together, and that you're calling me a

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Speaker 1: partner and you want you want me to do the

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Speaker 1: work and all of that shit. But it's like, I

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Speaker 1: don't have nothing to show for it. My name is

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Speaker 1: not on the mortgage. You ain't you telling her you

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Speaker 1: ain't got to marry me. It's like, so you're you're

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Speaker 1: kind of contradicting yourself, you know a little bit. And

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Speaker 1: then that's only because I don't think you even really

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Speaker 1: know what you want. Do you want the kid or

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Speaker 1: the little boy? Because you ain't really saying my son.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's not personal to you, you know, for

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Speaker 1: a child that you had you gave birth to for

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Speaker 1: the sake of the relationship. You never said that you

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Speaker 1: even gave birth to them or decided to do it

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Speaker 1: because you wanted to do it. You know, you just

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, you know I want you know,

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Speaker 1: I was in I love her or I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make a happy as something like that. You know, a

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Speaker 1: child is not you know, something like, it's not something

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Speaker 1: that you can make a decision based on whether or

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Speaker 1: not you like somebody, or you know, based on laws

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Speaker 1: of Texas. You know what I'm saying. That's a big step.

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Speaker 1: You'll have a child together, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And and just just in my opinion, it doesn't really

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Speaker 1: seem as if the child is as sacred to you

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Speaker 1: as it is to her. You know, it just wasn't personal.

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Speaker 1: That's not why you're writing me though. I just want

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Speaker 1: to hint that to you. If you talk to her,

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Speaker 1: if you speak of the child to her as if

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Speaker 1: you're you know, like you're speaking about the child to me,

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Speaker 1: and she may feel a way like, well, damn you.

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Speaker 1: That's all you did was given birth, That's it. And

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Speaker 1: you did that just for me. You didn't do that

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Speaker 1: because you wanted a child with me too, because you

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Speaker 1: really wanted this family to work, and you really just

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Speaker 1: enjoy being a mother and bringing life into this world.

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Speaker 1: You did that for me, you know, just because you

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Speaker 1: love me and I asked you to. And by law,

287
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,360
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. If you love me, you'll listen to

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Speaker 1: this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: I'm with you. I agree that for all the work

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Speaker 1: that you put in, Yes, your name needs to be

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Speaker 1: on something, if damn ned not everything, as co owner

293
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Speaker 1: or co partner whatever. You know what I'm saying, y'all

294
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Speaker 1: are not married. I want to want to really know

295
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Speaker 1: why the hell did you sign the document in the

296
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Speaker 1: first place. It can't because you loved her. It can't

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Speaker 1: because how you're talking to me now, m M. You know,

298
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Speaker 1: and you sound like you already knew all the red flags.

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Speaker 1: You were hurt from your previous relationship. She was hurt

300
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Speaker 1: from hers and even how you said she's so used

301
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Speaker 1: to her being a stud in these relationships and she

302
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,680
Speaker 1: gets attached to a child and they snatch the child

303
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Speaker 1: away from her when they break up with her and

304
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Speaker 1: stuff like that. I've seen situations like that. I've seen it,

305
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Speaker 1: and it hurts. It hurts, like hell, I've actually read

306
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 1: stories for just fix my mess like that. You know

307
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: that that shit hurts, you know, especially these these women

308
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 1: who build these bonds with these with these babies and

309
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,240
Speaker 1: these kids and men too, you know, and then you

310
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Speaker 1: just snatch them out of out of their lives because

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00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,360
Speaker 1: y'all broke up. It's like, what do you do. What

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Speaker 1: do you do? Although that is life, It's like, still,

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Speaker 1: what the hell can you do? Because you're not the

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Speaker 1: child's real parent? In this case? You are? You are,

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Speaker 1: and that's why it's so weird to me, Like you

316
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Speaker 1: can be in the state of Texas and you can

317
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Speaker 1: give birth to a child but not have rights to it.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't make any fucking sense at all. However, I'm

319
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Speaker 1: not the lawmaker. You knew that shit though it sounds

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Speaker 1: like you knew exactly what you were signing. I don't

321
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Speaker 1: know she did. Your your girlfriend does not. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if she's your axe. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: It's like, what do you want? It's like, in one

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Speaker 1: breath you said you had put a deadline on it.

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Speaker 1: If I'm in a relationship five years, you got to

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Speaker 1: marry me. Y'all coming up on six. But y'all going

327
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 1: through some shit right now? You moved out. Do you

328
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Speaker 1: still want to even be in a marriage or do

329
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,800
Speaker 1: you just want to be an equal mom, an equal

330
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Speaker 1: parent to y'all, child, to y'all son. Tell me exactly

331
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Speaker 1: what it is. You're leaving stuff out, you know, but

332
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Speaker 1: trust me, I know it's not hard. Marriage is not hard,

333
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 1: a relationship plan, house, shacking up, like you said, it's

334
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Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard. It's hard. I know it is.

335
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 1: It's not easy. But also communication, that's why you communicate.

336
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 1: That's why you sit down and you talk things through

337
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 1: instead of getting upset and just leaving and shit like that.

338
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Speaker 1: Because you said, she still want to shack up, so

339
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,440
Speaker 1: she still wants you, obviously, but you want more of

340
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,960
Speaker 1: the business. You want your name on things, you want

341
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 1: to be able to. It's like you you said, you

342
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Speaker 1: see the child, so I don't think the child is

343
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,560
Speaker 1: a problem. You just you want rights to the child. Okay,

344
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 1: you want rights to the child. You want your name

345
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Speaker 1: on the deed of the house. And then you want

346
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,200
Speaker 1: to be named in the company. You know, you want

347
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,320
Speaker 1: your name on the company. It's her company. And she

348
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 1: keeps telling you you partner, but she you know, you

349
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 1: don't have nothing to show for it. You helped her

350
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 1: do this, and you help to do that. That's where

351
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 1: she's wrong at you know what I'm saying. I understand

352
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,200
Speaker 1: her protecting herself and shit and ownership maybe like everything

353
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 1: to her, giving her pass and shit, but it's not

354
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 1: fair to you. Had y'all have to meet each other

355
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 1: in the middle with that shit, y'all have to meet

356
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 1: each other in the middle. How old is the baby boy?

357
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 1: And does he still at does he ask for you?

358
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 1: Does he come and stay at your house? Do you

359
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 1: just go to see him? Do you pick him up

360
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 1: and go with you and take them with you and

361
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 1: y'all be alone? Or like? What is it? Why? Why

362
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 1: is there a disconnect with your child? You said you

363
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 1: had one kid before her, and the way you speak,

364
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,880
Speaker 1: you know, you said I still get the kids out

365
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,120
Speaker 1: like you know? So does your oldest go with her

366
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 1: as well? How many kids is it in total? What

367
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 1: do you want? I'm gonna need a real update from you, woman,

368
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 1: because I don't think I think you even know you know,

369
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 1: I think you're just upset. Well, I know what you want,

370
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what your end goal is, like do

371
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,880
Speaker 1: you want to not be with her? Do you want

372
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 1: to live in the house again? But the only thing

373
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 1: that's stopping you from being a family with her is

374
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 1: the fact that she hadn't married hasn't married you yet,

375
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,720
Speaker 1: and the fact that you want your name on some shit.

376
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 1: If I'm right, If I'm right, you got to update

377
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: me and let me know, because I'm just trying to

378
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 1: figure it out. Although the story story it is, it's

379
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,639
Speaker 1: very interesting and it's something that I would love to

380
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,439
Speaker 1: pick apart, but I need more clarity on it. I

381
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 1: actually don't even need more clarity. I just need to

382
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,639
Speaker 1: know what you want to do. To give you advice,

383
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 1: I can tell you how to move forward. If you

384
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,680
Speaker 1: don't want to be with her. You're doing the right thing.

385
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 1: You're doing the right thing. Everything you're doing is right.

386
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,639
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're still at work. You're still working.

387
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 1: And she says she drives locally. You know, she's handling

388
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,640
Speaker 1: daycare and all that type of stuff. Okay, all right,

389
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,399
Speaker 1: you are more so out of town, out of state,

390
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 1: you know, doing your thing, driving like you know, and

391
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 1: that's how my boyfriend does it. So I know y'all

392
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 1: make a lot more bread when y'all drive out of

393
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 1: town versus locally. You know. I know that. So you'll

394
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,280
Speaker 1: be fine. You can start over if that's what you're

395
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,880
Speaker 1: gonna do, you start over. But you have to realize

396
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,199
Speaker 1: that is your child too, so you're gonna have to

397
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 1: have that bond, you know, and figure out a way

398
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,679
Speaker 1: where y'all can just co parent if that's what you

399
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 1: want to do, because you are already approaching the six

400
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: year mark, and you said if you ain't married after five,

401
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 1: it's done, you know. But I still also hear that

402
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 1: you're hesitating your voice. You said, you're not even confident

403
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 1: in your answers. So you need to figure out what

404
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 1: you want to do. You need to figure that out.

405
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 1: Only you can figure that out. She can't figure that

406
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 1: out for you. If she can't help you figure that out,

407
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: you need to figure it out. And this is the

408
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,440
Speaker 1: perfect time to figure it out because you're now moved

409
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,440
Speaker 1: out four months in. So when you sit by yourself

410
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 1: and you're not with the person and that that's the

411
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 1: and they're not clouding your you know, out in your space,

412
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,679
Speaker 1: you can actually get a clearer mind, you know, a

413
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 1: clear way of thinking, you know, like, okay, let me

414
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 1: think peacefully. What do I want? Do I want this

415
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: for the rest? You know? Do I want this now

416
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 1: moving forward? Do I not want this? Is it worth

417
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 1: throwing it away? You got to ask yourself those questions,

418
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,280
Speaker 1: you know, really getting your own head, and then you

419
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 1: let me know, you check back in with me, and

420
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 1: I'll give you whatever else I can give you back,

421
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 1: all right, thank you for writing me and even letting

422
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: me know this problem. Now, I'm not always on the

423
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,640
Speaker 1: person's side who writes me, but I'm not always supposed

424
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: to be. I'm all in fairness, you know what I mean,

425
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 1: And I think both of y'all just gotta sit down

426
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: and talk about some shit more than one time. It's

427
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,679
Speaker 1: gonna get heated. It's gonna get heated. One conversation is

428
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 1: not going to solve it. You know, y'all already too

429
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: deep in. It's a lot of damage that was done.

430
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 1: It's the way you look at her now is not

431
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: the way you looked at her before. And I totally

432
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: get that, but y'all gotta y'all got to come to

433
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 1: an understanding because this is important. So hit me up

434
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 1: and update me, and just like that, we've come to

435
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 1: the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl,

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Speaker 1: Jess Hilardius fixing your mask. That's what I do each

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Speaker 1: and every Wednesday. Catch me here and listen on your

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Speaker 1: way to work, Listen on your way to the gym,

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Speaker 1: listen on your way to take those babies to daycare.

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Speaker 1: Anywhere you find your podcast, I'm there, carefully reckless and

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Speaker 1: in my deepest pamboys, Peace Can't Fully Reckless is a

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Speaker 1: production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more

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Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.