Speaker 1: Shut helone front door. Hello, no way is that you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is this?
Speaker 2: Uh? Tybee? What's what's up? Dude? How is life?
Speaker 1: You have? You just caught me at the perfect time?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Why is it? Why is it the perfect time?
Speaker 1: I just finished I just finished the most cathartic yoga session,
Speaker 1: just like stepped out of tadasana, which is a corpse pose.
Speaker 1: And I looked it right at my point, open Welch's
Speaker 1: fruit snacks package and then I hear a beep and
Speaker 1: it's you.
Speaker 2: It must have been the universe working its magic on you.
Speaker 1: I swear it was the fruit snacks.
Speaker 2: Okay, I so you here's what the call screen I
Speaker 2: wrote down about what you wanted to talk about, and
Speaker 2: uh I looked at it and it's it. It doesn't
Speaker 2: make a lot of sense, but I I wanted to
Speaker 2: talk to you about it.
Speaker 1: YEA clear up?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna say, Can I tell can? I?
Speaker 1: Of course?
Speaker 2: Okay? Tevy thirty years old from Colorado. It says here
Speaker 2: that you started living your best life once you made
Speaker 2: yourself out of clay and started living as this clay figure. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what does that mean? How did you make yourself out
Speaker 2: of clay?
Speaker 1: Honestly, I wouldn't have even been able to tell you
Speaker 1: all this time until the moment happened. And even now
Speaker 1: I'm still wrapping my head around how it got to
Speaker 1: this point and why it had to be this way.
Speaker 1: But I'm just super happy and excited that it did.
Speaker 1: But you like kind of explain it. It's not like
Speaker 1: I made It's not like I made a realistic rendition
Speaker 1: of myself like someone else may assume, maybe like I
Speaker 1: made a small version of my body. I made like
Speaker 1: a character. I guess you can call him an avatar
Speaker 1: that represents me on like the deepest level. And he's
Speaker 1: like three inches tall. And ever since I made him,
Speaker 1: he's had it. He has his own house, now, he
Speaker 1: has his own car, he has a whole bunch of friends,
Speaker 1: he has like new teachers, he's starting his own restaurant,
Speaker 1: and the whole time he's doing all this crazy stuff,
Speaker 1: like very ambitious. I finally found my body that was
Speaker 1: in pain for so long in the process of chasing
Speaker 1: what society kind of makes you think you need to
Speaker 1: do to be happy. And since I found my body,
Speaker 1: like I've done everything I guess I should do, and
Speaker 1: I've let go of things that I should have let
Speaker 1: go of years ago. And I have found the most
Speaker 1: relief in real like body, my corporeal self. But I
Speaker 1: blame it. I don't blame it. I just I think
Speaker 1: this little dude has something to do with it.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let's go real slowly on this. You built
Speaker 2: a little you, it's talking about it's okay, that's a
Speaker 2: good that was a good top line. Okay. You built
Speaker 2: a little guy at a clay that is not necessarily
Speaker 2: looks like you, but it's a representation of you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and the little guy is living his own little guy life.
Speaker 2: You've created for it because you are in control of
Speaker 2: this little guy. You have created for this little guy
Speaker 2: a house and a family, and and and you've basically
Speaker 2: orchestrated for this little guy a nice life.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was me. I feel like
Speaker 1: we did it together.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you worked with the little guy to orchestrate
Speaker 2: a nice life for him. Yeah, okay, and you've noticed
Speaker 2: that as the little guy's life is getting better, are
Speaker 2: you sitting there and making a house out of clay,
Speaker 2: making a wife out of clay, making children out of clay?
Speaker 1: I don't think he wants children he's not there yet.
Speaker 1: I don't think he's old enough in his realm, but
Speaker 1: he's he's living it up. Like I'm telling you, he's
Speaker 1: doing things.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I saw the point of the question. Are
Speaker 2: you are you making stuff for him out of clay?
Speaker 2: That's what That's what I wanted to ask.
Speaker 1: My hands are yeah, okay, uh, And.
Speaker 2: You feel as though your hands are are like, like,
Speaker 2: are you channeling something? And the thing that you have
Speaker 2: challenged is channeled is working with you to create these things.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on like this, like I'm in
Speaker 1: the middle of like a spiritual domino effect of understanding
Speaker 1: the universe via this process, and I hope it's not.
Speaker 1: I'm not digressing, but I feel like as I've been
Speaker 1: making things for him and living my life through him,
Speaker 1: I've been understanding how our creator, if you believe in that,
Speaker 1: whatever angle you have on that, how they view us
Speaker 1: and how they made us in their quote unquote image,
Speaker 1: maybe not exactly their image, but how they feel. And
Speaker 1: then as we live our best lives, it's like we're
Speaker 1: honoring our creator. And I almost feel like when this
Speaker 1: little guy's living his best life, he's honoring me. And
Speaker 1: then I feel better, and then I can relax and
Speaker 1: the stress is gone and I let go of things,
Speaker 1: and then I handle myself and then it's like a
Speaker 1: back and forth of treating each other right. And then
Speaker 1: now I'm like thinking about how I must maintain this
Speaker 1: conversation with myself in order to maintain spiritual connection with
Speaker 1: the universe, like and whatever is responsible for it.
Speaker 2: So you know, actually it does make a little bit
Speaker 2: of sense. So as you have created this thing, and
Speaker 2: as you have worked with this thing to create its
Speaker 2: own life, it has shindy light perhaps on your relationship
Speaker 2: with whatever it is you believe created you. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and tell me how it has influenced that relationship.
Speaker 1: It's made me take care of myself. It's made me
Speaker 1: honor myself. It's made me reach out for things I
Speaker 1: never thought I had the confidence or the gusto to
Speaker 1: reach out for, just because I feel like the creator
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it, or them or
Speaker 1: her or him, like that's what they would want, like that,
Speaker 1: like they're up there and they want to see us
Speaker 1: live our best life. Okay, So just like you know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do it?
Speaker 2: Okay. Interesting, So so to the point that you just said,
Speaker 2: you're reaching out for things you never would have thought.
Speaker 2: Let's get specific here, what specific things have you been
Speaker 2: doing for your life that are positive as a result
Speaker 2: of all of this, I.
Speaker 1: Guess to start on some more primal levels I've I've
Speaker 1: I think maybe you would be interested in this one.
Speaker 1: I stopped masturbating, which was interesting because you know, as
Speaker 1: a as a as a human being, it's the natural thing,
Speaker 1: or it's built into you to feel like you want
Speaker 1: to satisfy yourself in that way in order to I guess,
Speaker 1: honor yourself in a certain type of way, like it
Speaker 1: must deserve a little relief for something. And because I
Speaker 1: found relief elsewhere in this more deep way, I've let
Speaker 1: go no pun intended, but I've let go of that
Speaker 1: part of myself interesting and it's as a result, hell
Speaker 1: my lower back, it helped me spot my pelvic floor.
Speaker 1: It's helped me stop producing so much cortisol or stress
Speaker 1: inducing chemicals in my body. Yeah, it's just been really
Speaker 1: good in that way. I stopped smoking. I've been smoking
Speaker 1: weed for like fifteen years, actually, no seventeen now I'm
Speaker 1: misused to saying fifteen. For the past couple of years,
Speaker 1: but it's a nice number. But like seventeen years I've
Speaker 1: been smoking I would, you know, everything, I could take
Speaker 1: PC and I would, And now I've been like, I
Speaker 1: switched over to CVD and it's been like, maybe the
Speaker 1: best choice I could have made. I didn't even take
Speaker 1: it seriously until now.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I stopped masturbating, you stopped smoking weed. Anything else.
Speaker 1: I've been able to save money for the first time
Speaker 1: in my life. I have my own place confidently now.
Speaker 1: I have a better relationship with my family. What else,
Speaker 1: I've been able to drop traumatic relationships in my life
Speaker 1: without reaching out or even having thoughts to reach out,
Speaker 1: and I could talk about it without feeling triggered. I
Speaker 1: don't know, just primal things that kind of bleed out
Speaker 1: into I guess bigger things. And I'm really only at
Speaker 1: the beginning of this, but I can tell it's in
Speaker 1: a good path.
Speaker 2: So to summarize where we are at so far, you
Speaker 2: have created a small figure that has a representation of yourself,
Speaker 2: and that figure, being the creator of it, has given
Speaker 2: you greater perspective of the relationship between you and whatever
Speaker 2: it is that created you, and your desire to honor
Speaker 2: whatever it is that created you, has caused you to
Speaker 2: make positive lifestyle changes, such as not masturbating, not smoking weed,
Speaker 2: and forming better relationships with people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're so conciseed.
Speaker 2: Wow, we did it. You know. We started out this
Speaker 2: absolutely no sense and uh we kind of got somewhere
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're good at putting things into smaller sentences.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let me ask you this, Uh where does
Speaker 2: it go with this figure? Like, how long have you
Speaker 2: been have you been doing this? This project, A jacked
Speaker 2: I don't even whatever you call it, this thing with
Speaker 2: this figure.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The odd thing is is this figure started out
Speaker 1: or emerged from a reoccurrence of a imaginary friend I
Speaker 1: had when I was younger that I abandoned when I
Speaker 1: was younger due to a friend stealing him in some
Speaker 1: really weird way that's too long of a story to
Speaker 1: talk about. But as a result, I lost my path.
Speaker 1: And when I thought of him again and I thought
Speaker 1: about where this imaginary friend was, he brought me back.
Speaker 1: And I didn't even make him correctly until like two
Speaker 1: years later, after I realized I should honor this imaginary friend.
Speaker 1: And then now he became like I finally made a
Speaker 1: figure for myself and that figure is me. And that happened,
Speaker 1: I guess several months ago. And since then, I've built
Speaker 1: a house for him. It's like a three story house,
Speaker 1: four rooms, like a balcony where they can DJ and stuff.
Speaker 1: He's had a driveway. But the next project is I'm
Speaker 1: making a restaurant for him to serve up these dishes
Speaker 1: that I make out of Milly Clay. I do Milly
Speaker 1: Clay work. That's what the figure is made out of.
Speaker 1: He's made out of a MILLI do you know what
Speaker 1: a MILLI is?
Speaker 2: No? But you know I have a question for you.
Speaker 2: So h so your next thing for this h this
Speaker 2: Clay person is to make them a restaurant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he can sern So.
Speaker 2: Are you is any part of you living vicariously through
Speaker 2: this figure? Like are you taking your own desires for
Speaker 2: your life and giving them to this figure and the
Speaker 2: idea that perhaps it will come back to you? Like
Speaker 2: do you have a desire to open a restaurant? Do
Speaker 2: you want to have a house? And all the sort
Speaker 2: of things that you're giving to this this figure.
Speaker 1: I do strongly believe in them, like a Karmix cycle.
Speaker 1: So I do think, whether I like it or not,
Speaker 1: these things may blossom into larger versions. Like these are
Speaker 1: almost like dream boards someone might like perceive them to be,
Speaker 1: but they also are very like internal like their external projects,
Speaker 1: but their internal conversations with myself, Like like the house
Speaker 1: that I built helped me find my body, and when
Speaker 1: I found my body, I was able to recognize my
Speaker 1: friends and my family. I was somewhere to be. But
Speaker 1: now that I recognize my friends and my family, I
Speaker 1: need to build a restaurant within myself to invite in
Speaker 1: more people with this attitude that I've developed through building
Speaker 1: this thing for this character, and the restaurant is going
Speaker 1: to be something that helps me with my business and art,
Speaker 1: but it's also something that will help me invite more
Speaker 1: people just generally into my life. And I just felt
Speaker 1: like I wasn't inviting healthy people until now, and I
Speaker 1: just want to like reinforce that with these spiritual projects.
Speaker 1: I don't know the spiritual is the right word, but yeah,
Speaker 1: to answer your question specifically, maybe I'll make a restaurant
Speaker 1: or a gallery that is posed as a restaurant, and
Speaker 1: I serve delicious artworks to people to enjoy with their
Speaker 1: you know, internal conversations and maybe spark their own little
Speaker 1: karmic circle.
Speaker 2: So so, Tbby, tell me before we go, this has
Speaker 2: been very interesting, this has been you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 2: glad for you. You know, look, I think you know
Speaker 2: that this is definitely not a traditional thing that you're doing,
Speaker 2: but I'm glad that it is. It sounds like it's
Speaker 2: been helpful to you therapeutically. It's reinforcing this idea, this
Speaker 2: sort of hypothesis that you know, everyone has their own
Speaker 2: way of of dealing with the problems and the stuff
Speaker 2: going on in their life, and that there are various
Speaker 2: creative solutions to doing so. And it sounds like you've
Speaker 2: very much found your own that's working for you. And
Speaker 2: I'm happy to hear that. I guess before we go,
Speaker 2: what what does the future look like for you, Tabby?
Speaker 2: Are there any visions that you wanna share with us
Speaker 2: before before we move on?
Speaker 1: Any visions? Well, right now, I'm working on an Avatar,
Speaker 1: the Last Airbender Millie series and uh.
Speaker 2: Oh, like literally the best show.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'm deriving like lessons than learning from each
Speaker 1: book all the way through Kora uh to help me
Speaker 1: fully locked down who I am and what I want
Speaker 1: to be As the server in this restaurant and uh,
Speaker 1: if anyone wants to check that out, all they would
Speaker 1: have to look up is uh pilot. Actually, this reminds
Speaker 1: me I almost forgot what the hell? Okay, did you
Speaker 1: ever get that drawing I sent you?
Speaker 2: You sent me a drawing?
Speaker 3: Drawing?
Speaker 1: Yah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, all the ship that was you?
Speaker 1: Yeah it's me.
Speaker 2: Yeah I did get that.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, fucking.
Speaker 2: Fuck damn, yeah, I did get that. It's it's it's
Speaker 2: it's back. It's back at my parents' place. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I did get that.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Yeah, well god damn yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, with the line work and everything. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I did get that. Man, it's cool to like talk
Speaker 2: to you. And now the next time I see that,
Speaker 2: I'll be like, man, that's the figure guy. Yes, sir,
Speaker 2: well ship, what's your name again? Tebby?
Speaker 1: Uh I'm Tybee.
Speaker 2: Tybee well Tyby. Thank you first for sending me that.
Speaker 1: You go by what no doubt. Thank you for doing
Speaker 1: all of this. You've you've kind of led. You're the
Speaker 1: last thing that I drew in that style, Like you
Speaker 1: kind of broke me through that edate this style I
Speaker 1: was in m M and I wanted to return the
Speaker 1: savor and then I just I didn't even know it
Speaker 1: was going to do my last drawing, And ever since then,
Speaker 1: I've been chasing myself, Tybee.
Speaker 2: Do you have for people who are interested in you
Speaker 2: and what you're doing? Anyone who maybe this call connected
Speaker 2: with in particular? Do you have an Instagram or something
Speaker 2: where they can connect with you on?
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, I only have an Instagram. It's it's meta
Speaker 1: pilot M E D A H P E I one
Speaker 1: three seven. Yeah, check me out if you want to
Speaker 1: see the avatar.
Speaker 2: Uh, Tybee? Anything else? Any final words for the people
Speaker 2: the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Try tbd out.
Speaker 2: Perfect, simple, clean, efficient? Uh, good luck to you, Tyby.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for calling.
Speaker 1: Thank you Lyle Geck Nations plus.
Speaker 2: Well. That was fascinating. I love calls like that, where
Speaker 2: something every time, whether it's in a live show or
Speaker 2: on the street or when I'm like looking at calls,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pick for this show. Anytime I see something
Speaker 2: that I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? The
Speaker 2: only the only way to figure it out is to
Speaker 2: dive into it with the parson. That was fascinating. That
Speaker 2: was fascinating. I don't know what my own. You know.
Speaker 2: It's it's interesting because it comes off as like bizarre
Speaker 2: and foreign, this thing he's talking about of like he
Speaker 2: created himself out of clay and that's caused him to
Speaker 2: live his best life. You know, what the fuck does
Speaker 2: that mean? And then he kind of gets into it
Speaker 2: and it made sense in a way. It's like if
Speaker 2: he is really diving into his role as like a
Speaker 2: creator of another entity, and that gives him perspective of
Speaker 2: of himself, like as the god that created him, and
Speaker 2: how he wants to serve that God by not jacking
Speaker 2: off or eating shitty and whatnot.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, obviously that method of living a better
Speaker 2: life is not going to appeal to everyone, but it
Speaker 2: is for talking to that guy. To me is further
Speaker 2: evidence of the creative ways in which people can come
Speaker 2: up with, can go through to kind of deal with
Speaker 2: their own ship. So props to tout to Tybee, thank
Speaker 2: you for calling. I think you're again for that drawing
Speaker 2: that shit is sick? Hello? Is this Morgan? This?
Speaker 4: This is her?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 2: What's what's going on with you? Morgan? What are you
Speaker 2: up to? What you know?
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like I just got done having a
Speaker 4: little bit of a menty breakdown.
Speaker 2: A mental breaky. Okay, yeah, just like a.
Speaker 4: Little break everyone's got to break every once in a while.
Speaker 2: I fully agree. I think the the human capacity for
Speaker 2: stimulus and the amount of stimulus in the universe have
Speaker 2: not been keeping at good consistency with one another over
Speaker 2: the years, and so it's it's inevitable to have a
Speaker 2: a MENTI break ye every every now and then. Absolutely
Speaker 2: absolutely what has been the driver of your mental breakdown?
Speaker 4: So today, specifically, what I what I kind of called
Speaker 4: in about, is like, you ever feel sorry. I'm so nervous.
Speaker 4: I know you always say like after five minutes, I'll
Speaker 4: be fine. I believe you, but like, wow.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's just the phone. It's just the phone.
Speaker 2: It's not even real.
Speaker 4: It's just a phone. Well, listen, I've tried to call
Speaker 4: so many times, and I saw you in Philly, so like,
Speaker 4: I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: Oh hell yeah, I'm glad you had. What did you
Speaker 2: think of the show?
Speaker 4: It was great that woman sat on a cake, but
Speaker 4: I had to it like the end because we had
Speaker 4: to get our train back a kind.
Speaker 2: Of fucking okay, yeah that was fun. Well, I'm glad
Speaker 2: to see that you at least got to see the
Speaker 2: beginning of the woman sitting on a cake.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, yes, I did see her sit on a
Speaker 4: cake and she complimented my shoes in the bathroom. So
Speaker 4: that's that's amazing. That's like a w for me.
Speaker 2: So what is uh, what is driving your mental breakdown?
Speaker 1: Morgan?
Speaker 4: So do you ever feel like, I want to call
Speaker 4: it imposter syndrome kind of, but like you ever feel
Speaker 4: like your actions don't really like, I don't know, match
Speaker 4: your thoughts? Like everyone. What I told the screener was
Speaker 4: that I work with the elderly. I work in retirement home,
Speaker 4: and they all seem to like love me, like think
Speaker 4: I'm great, you know what I mean. I'm not trying
Speaker 4: to like suck my own dick or.
Speaker 2: Anything, but like, sure, suck your own deck all you want.
Speaker 4: They all appreciate what I do, I guess, and I
Speaker 4: love them. Then I want to take care of them.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 4: But sometimes like I feel like I'm not actually nice.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, Like okay, so your thoughts can I well, it
Speaker 2: says here that can I tell people what the what
Speaker 2: the call scrator wrote down? Okay, the call scrator wrote
Speaker 2: down that that Morgan works with old people and has
Speaker 2: quote horrible intrusive thoughts about them.
Speaker 4: Well that's pretty serious, Like, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: Well, listen, Okay, they don't, you know what, Listen. Okay,
Speaker 2: here's the thing. Here's the thing is, I don't really
Speaker 2: care about like thoughts. Who really gives a shit. Thoughts
Speaker 2: are only worth anything when they become actions. Now, actions
Speaker 2: start as thoughts. So like, I think that whatever thoughts,
Speaker 2: I think, you're innocent to any thoughts that pops into
Speaker 2: your head until it becomes an action. So don't freak
Speaker 2: out about yourself about any thoughts that happen. And your
Speaker 2: humanity is the fact that you can act in uh,
Speaker 2: contradiction to your thoughts. So yeah, which of these old
Speaker 2: people are you thinking about murdering?
Speaker 4: I'm not, I'm not. I'm not planning any one's murder,
Speaker 4: I promise. And they are not sexual. I promise. That
Speaker 4: would be haunting for me, honestly.
Speaker 6: But it's just like.
Speaker 4: I love so I love working with them, and some
Speaker 4: of them have some like really bad dementia, sure, and like.
Speaker 6: It hurts.
Speaker 4: It hurts my heart sometimes and the place is sad,
Speaker 4: and we I do activities. I do therapeutic recreation. So
Speaker 4: like I kind of keep them moving, keep their brains thinking,
Speaker 4: do some bingo with them. I don't know.
Speaker 2: So good. So I mean, in what way do you
Speaker 2: feel like your thoughts are incongruent with your actions here?
Speaker 4: Like, because I get so mad, like not at them,
Speaker 4: but like internally when they just you know, even the
Speaker 4: little repeating. I think it's overstimulation. Honestly, I think a
Speaker 4: lot of it is over stimulations, like all the noises
Speaker 4: and like they'll say the same thing over and over again.
Speaker 4: And I'm always patient, I'm always like okay, but sometimes
Speaker 4: just sometimes when it's just me and like all of
Speaker 4: the ones with dementia, yeah, snap.
Speaker 2: A little okay, So I'm gonna let's get all right,
Speaker 2: we're gonna go We're gonna we're gonna go here real quick.
Speaker 2: We're gonna go here real quick. All right. So you,
Speaker 2: by the way, you're doing a great thing. You're helping
Speaker 2: out people with dementia. Okay, and okay, and you and
Speaker 2: you do it a great thing.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 2: So you're with this patient who has dementia and you're
Speaker 2: really trying your best to help them. But after they
Speaker 2: repeat the same thing over and over again, and they
Speaker 2: are kind of acting towards you in a certain way
Speaker 2: that is annoying as a result of their dementia. You
Speaker 2: become annoyed because they're being annoying. Yeah is that Okay,
Speaker 2: you become annoyed. But no, but here's the thing. But
Speaker 2: here's the beautiful thing is you? Is it? Actually? I
Speaker 2: almost think the fact that you are getting angry and
Speaker 2: you are getting annoyed at these annoying dementia patients makes it.
Speaker 2: It makes it even more beautiful because you're putting it
Speaker 2: all aside to help them. You know, you're not letting
Speaker 2: your annoyance stop you from helping these folks because you
Speaker 2: have the it silenced to me at least, like you
Speaker 2: have this conveyor belt system where the annoyance comes to
Speaker 2: you and it's your instinct, it's your central nervous system,
Speaker 2: and then that's your primal side. And then your human
Speaker 2: comes in and you're like, well, okay, they're acting like
Speaker 2: this because they have a mental illness. I need to
Speaker 2: be more understanding and forgiving and patient and human with
Speaker 2: these people. And then you are, yeah, I think it's
Speaker 2: a beautiful thing. You know, your your okay, Yeah, because
Speaker 2: you should. I like your gut reaction being annoyed. She
Speaker 2: shouldn't feel bad about it. You should feel you're you're
Speaker 2: doing a good thing. You're not letting your gut reaction
Speaker 2: dictate You're not letting your gut thoughts dictate your actions
Speaker 2: as part of being a human.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I would leave there immediately and I would cuss them
Speaker 2: all out on my way out. You know.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I do just get in my car and like
Speaker 4: I just dream, like I don't even bother pulling out
Speaker 4: of the parking lot. I'm just like streaming in there,
Speaker 4: and you know what, That's fine.
Speaker 2: But it is fine. You deserve it, you know more,
Speaker 2: and your your car screams are deserved. Okay, car screams
Speaker 2: are because you're you're like, it's it's the courtesy of like,
Speaker 2: let's say you're on You're hanging out with a bunch
Speaker 2: of people and you really have to fart, and you
Speaker 2: know that your fart's so horrible and so but now,
Speaker 2: but for the courtesy of those people, you don't fart,
Speaker 2: and then you go into your car and then you
Speaker 2: fart all you want. That was the courteous thing of
Speaker 2: you to do. You know the fact that you had
Speaker 2: to fart. There's no evil in that, it's just what
Speaker 2: was going.
Speaker 4: On with you. That's an amazing analogy.
Speaker 2: So I I think as long as you're not letting
Speaker 2: your annoyance cause you to lash out at elderly dimension
Speaker 2: dementia patients, which I don't think it is. I think
Speaker 2: you're doing.
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, yeah, I just you know, I feel like
Speaker 4: like anger is a really weird thing that I think
Speaker 4: about a lot because I feel like I've had so
Speaker 4: much forever. It's just like balled up inside of me.
Speaker 4: But like I've always tried to be like nice. So
Speaker 4: it's like, am I actually nice? Or am I just
Speaker 4: trying to like cover up the fact that I'm like
Speaker 4: pissed off all the time, like a like an angsty teenager.
Speaker 2: Like I'm what what what other? What other things are
Speaker 2: you angry about?
Speaker 4: I get angry at my roommate a lot.
Speaker 2: Okay, what about.
Speaker 4: Well, like she bought a new vacuum. I have a vacuum, right,
Speaker 4: We have a vacuum that we use. It kind of sucks.
Speaker 4: It's a shitty vacuum, but I bought it right first
Speaker 4: time ever moving out, And she bought a new vacuum
Speaker 4: this week. And then I come home and my vacuums
Speaker 4: like on the curb, by the by the trash be
Speaker 4: thrown away vacuum. She threw out my vacuum without asking me.
Speaker 2: Did you Did you say anything to her?
Speaker 4: I said, I texted her and I said, because she's
Speaker 4: at work, and I said, hey, if you're gonna throw
Speaker 4: out something that's that's mine, could you just ask? And
Speaker 4: then she just read it like we just left me
Speaker 4: on red?
Speaker 2: So oh, well, you know, Morgan, You're doing the best
Speaker 2: you can, I think. Can I tell you one I'm
Speaker 2: gonna tell you one thing before we go. I hope
Speaker 2: you're not don't get two in your head about whether
Speaker 2: or not you are a good person or a bad
Speaker 2: person as like a general overall label. I don't think
Speaker 2: that ship is real. You're doing the best you can
Speaker 2: out there, controlling your angry thoughts and uh transmuting them
Speaker 2: into productive actions. I think I'm smart.
Speaker 4: Holding in a fart until I get to.
Speaker 2: The car or who else are you with? Are you
Speaker 2: with anyone?
Speaker 4: I'm meant like.
Speaker 2: Metaphors metaphors, metaphor, metaphor, I'm holding I am I am
Speaker 2: also holding in a far but mine is not metaphorical.
Speaker 2: Mine is very, very.
Speaker 4: Real, and so you can always let it rip like
Speaker 4: it's this the world is your oyster.
Speaker 2: Let it rip, you know, Morgan? Is there anything else
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 2: before we go?
Speaker 4: People the computer? Be nice to people I don't know,
Speaker 4: be kind lyle is it is?
Speaker 7: It?
Speaker 4: Is it awful of me to ask you a question?
Speaker 4: Just one more question? You can answer?
Speaker 2: What's the question? Yeah? Hit me?
Speaker 4: If you had to choose which muppet would you fuck?
Speaker 2: Which muppet would I fuck? Which? Which one is the
Speaker 2: most the only I only really know Miss Piggy. But
Speaker 2: she's an animal, so I feel like that's ethically But
Speaker 2: I guess she's a talking animal.
Speaker 4: They're all animals.
Speaker 2: Okay, well then I guess, Yeah, I guess Miss Piggy.
Speaker 4: Is that Miss Piggy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I could go for miss I don't know if
Speaker 2: are there any other? Who are the other girls?
Speaker 6: Kermit?
Speaker 4: You know you got Kermit? Mine personally is animal? The drummer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet he would be pretty good. You know what,
Speaker 2: I would suck him. I take back what I said.
Speaker 2: I'd fuck him.
Speaker 4: Really, So we're like, what are what do you.
Speaker 2: What do you call it?
Speaker 4: Whenever? You like not Irish twins. The is that I don't.
Speaker 5: Know Eskimo brothers, brothers.
Speaker 2: That's it's it's been an honor being an Eskimo brother
Speaker 2: with you, Morgan, have a good rest of your entire life.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Gek. I hope you do too. Keep doing
Speaker 4: you doing.
Speaker 2: I like to say she was nice. Yeah, that whole
Speaker 2: thing of the thought to your thoughts? What are your
Speaker 2: thoughts say about you? I personally don't. I don't think
Speaker 2: thoughts are worth much. I don't. I don't think thoughts
Speaker 2: are worth much. I you know what, I don't work
Speaker 2: on the subject of intrusive thoughts. I was walking down
Speaker 2: the streets the other day and there was a guy
Speaker 2: carrying a tiny baby, and I had a I've had
Speaker 2: a thought popped into my head. I was like, what
Speaker 2: would happen if I ran up to that guy and
Speaker 2: I just punched his baby in the face. I would
Speaker 2: never do I would never do that. I would never
Speaker 2: do that. I would never do that. But I have
Speaker 2: that thought almost I didn't have anything to do with
Speaker 2: that thought. It just came to me, what if I
Speaker 2: punched that guy's baby in the face. What does that
Speaker 2: mean I'm a bad person? Fucking maybe Honestly, now I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about it, but I wouldn't punch the baby. I
Speaker 2: think the thinking about punching the baby and the actually
Speaker 2: doing it are two different things. Again, for the record,
Speaker 2: I would not punch a random person's baby, unless if
Speaker 2: they did something to piss me off. Hello, Hello, what
Speaker 2: is going on?
Speaker 8: Oh wow?
Speaker 7: This is Low? What a dream man?
Speaker 2: This is Low. It's dream to talk to you. Man.
Speaker 2: You're in London, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, well just sound for London, but yeah, no
Speaker 7: one would ahead of it.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming there at twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do a live gecko thing. You should come.
Speaker 8: Yeah, you can promise.
Speaker 2: I I'll prom us I'll do it. If you promise
Speaker 2: to come.
Speaker 8: I promise I'll be there.
Speaker 7: Man, that'll be ding come true for me. Can I
Speaker 7: just thought, I just want to ask you a questions
Speaker 7: your your glove.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 2: I know what you're going to say. I've said this
Speaker 2: a bunch of I put. I cut two holes in
Speaker 2: my gloves that I can use my MacBook.
Speaker 7: It's a simple no, no, no, no, I wanted to know
Speaker 7: if you could push your fingers all the way to
Speaker 7: the end of the gloves or if they're like made
Speaker 7: to these permanent pets.
Speaker 2: Okay, now, okay, okay, yeah I could. I could theoretically
Speaker 2: push my I mean, the gloves are oversized as to
Speaker 2: simulate sticky gecko hands, of course.
Speaker 7: Okay, well, thank you for clearing that up to me.
Speaker 2: That's a funny thing to say, of course too. What's
Speaker 2: your name again, Sam?
Speaker 8: My name is Sam. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sam. What's going on with you in your life?
Speaker 8: So, of course, not for some advice you man.
Speaker 2: I moved.
Speaker 7: Well, I've lived in an apartment for about coming up
Speaker 7: to four years now, and eighteen months ago there was
Speaker 7: a new girl who moved into the building, and like,
Speaker 7: I didn't really get to speak to her much, but
Speaker 7: I saw her in the corridor she's moving in, and
Speaker 7: she seems okay. And then one morning I wake up
Speaker 7: and she's left her number outside my door, and I think,
Speaker 7: I don't really want to give this girl the wrong impression,
Speaker 7: but like, I've got all the other neighbors numbers in
Speaker 7: the building, so I should, you know, just be polite.
Speaker 7: So I wait a few days and just said, Yo,
Speaker 7: it's Sam from that five.
Speaker 8: Here's my number.
Speaker 2: Do you do you believe that this girl left her
Speaker 2: number outside of your door in a flirtatious way or
Speaker 2: in a neighborly way.
Speaker 7: I didn't know, but I just wanted to sort of
Speaker 7: put the line down. I had something that happened before
Speaker 7: and it ended really badly, so I'm just trying to
Speaker 7: avoid that. So, you know, she asked me if I
Speaker 7: had any like numbers forweed or ever a couple of times,
Speaker 7: and I gave her that and that was chill. But
Speaker 7: then it slowly started getting to the point where she
Speaker 7: would be texting me sort of ten times a day
Speaker 7: telling me that she missed me, and she couldn't stop
Speaker 7: thinking about me, and she would be calling my phone
Speaker 7: all the time, and it was just how pretty wild?
Speaker 2: So I had how how long into how much? How
Speaker 2: much interaction had you had with this person before she
Speaker 2: started sending you those messages?
Speaker 8: Nothing apart from giving her some numbers for some weird
Speaker 8: because that's the enablest thing to do, you know, bizarre. Okay,
Speaker 8: I keep going, She's telling me that she missed me anyway,
Speaker 8: so I had to tell her to leave me alone, and.
Speaker 7: Like in the end, I had to block that number
Speaker 7: because she just would not take the take the hint.
Speaker 7: And then it slowly started that she was going through
Speaker 7: my mailbox to find all my details, and she found
Speaker 7: on my socials and started added me and following me
Speaker 7: on social and liking all my shit, and when I
Speaker 7: mean like like in like fifty pictures in a row
Speaker 7: at once, And then I would know that she'd been
Speaker 7: going through my mouth because she'd start kissing it and
Speaker 7: leave like lipstick marks on my post. Well unless it
Speaker 7: could have been the postman, but I don't know. I
Speaker 7: don't think so it.
Speaker 2: Could maybe it could have most has a crush on you,
Speaker 2: but she was going through mail and kissing it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, And then so like she started like.
Speaker 7: She started again, and I had to tell her to
Speaker 7: leave me alone. She got a new phone number she
Speaker 7: started texting me from that, and I said, look like
Speaker 7: this isn't cool, man, Like you got to leave me alone.
Speaker 7: And she would like wait for me to leave my
Speaker 7: apartment and start walking down the stairs and then open
Speaker 7: her door to like try and get me in her
Speaker 7: apartment while I was just like leaving for work, and
Speaker 7: I'd be like, you've got to leave alone. So then
Speaker 7: I told her to leave me alone again.
Speaker 8: I have a text just so you've got to stop.
Speaker 8: You just gotta leave me, Like, man, this is weird.
Speaker 7: And I woke up the next day and she'd spray
Speaker 7: painted asshole on my door and there was like I
Speaker 7: had no improof, but like it was definitely her. And
Speaker 7: then as I left the building, I saw on like
Speaker 7: our bin that we have at the end of our
Speaker 7: walkway that she'd.
Speaker 8: Spray painted I Love You.
Speaker 7: And God's spray paint as well.
Speaker 2: So how long ago does all this happen?
Speaker 8: So this has been ongoing for like a year. I
Speaker 8: know that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, So I know that she's suffered from mental health problems,
Speaker 7: Like she's been sectioned three times now, and every time
Speaker 7: that she's sectioned, she calls me up from the hospital
Speaker 7: and she's like because it's an unknown number, I don't
Speaker 7: know who it is, and it'll be like midnight and
Speaker 7: it'll be like, oh, it's so nice to hear your voice,
Speaker 7: like I really miss you. Yeah, So it's kind of
Speaker 7: like weird behavior, but I know she's not well.
Speaker 8: So my problem is is like I don't really want
Speaker 8: to get the police involved, because you know Aca B
Speaker 8: and I feel like they'll probably only make it worse
Speaker 8: or not do what she needs to do.
Speaker 2: Is genuine question. What is it that makes you think
Speaker 2: that the police will only make it worse?
Speaker 7: Because I think if they come round and say something
Speaker 7: to her, I've got no I've got hardly any evidence
Speaker 7: of any of this apart from a few text messages
Speaker 7: and loads.
Speaker 8: Of miss calls, and I don't know a.
Speaker 7: Picture of some lipstick on the letter, you know, I've
Speaker 7: got like no proof that it was her very paint
Speaker 7: at the door. And I just think if they come
Speaker 7: round and turn off at her door and just knock
Speaker 7: on her door and they don't do anything, it will
Speaker 7: just make her lose it.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, she's got these crazy eyes man, Like
Speaker 7: I swear any any of my name, Like my friends
Speaker 7: who come around they know about her. When they see
Speaker 7: her for the first time, they're like, dude, she is
Speaker 7: so fucking scary man.
Speaker 2: So okay, if you're not going to go to the police,
Speaker 2: what other things have you considered doing?
Speaker 7: So, Like, because we are as human that she's like
Speaker 7: on some sort of like watch list or careless now
Speaker 7: so that we have tried speaking to like our social workers, and.
Speaker 2: That's a good idea. That's probably what I would do,
Speaker 2: is is I fuck, I don't know if you can
Speaker 2: get in contact with her social workers or whatever and
Speaker 2: get you know, their advice on it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but I mean I think because like the service
Speaker 7: is associate around here, it's like unless they're immediately gonna
Speaker 7: hurt someone or themselves, they don't do anything. So like
Speaker 7: at the moment, she's going through this obsessive phase. This
Speaker 7: is the other thing that she does. She get obsessed
Speaker 7: with these random theories and she thinks that someone is
Speaker 7: repeatedly breaking into her apartment and pissing in her purse
Speaker 7: and then just like leaving her apartment, and she thinks
Speaker 7: that this is like an ongoing Well, no, that's the thing.
Speaker 7: So then she knocked on my door the other day.
Speaker 7: She was knocking for about an hour and I was like, finally,
Speaker 7: like fuck me, my dogs are going crazy.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is up?
Speaker 7: And she's like, can you smell this? And she had
Speaker 7: like a carrier bag with her person and she was
Speaker 7: tied up and she undid it and she sort of
Speaker 7: held it up to me to smell him for the bag,
Speaker 7: and I was like, yeah, man, I'm down, like the bag,
Speaker 7: I don't know. So I smell it and it just
Speaker 7: smells like nothing. And she's like, can you smell that?
Speaker 7: Isn't that disgusting? And her eyes are like well enough,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, it doesn't smell anything. She's like, someone
Speaker 7: has pissed into my purse again, and they keep coming
Speaker 7: in and doing this. So yeah, man, I just never
Speaker 7: know what I'm going to open my door to these days,
Speaker 7: you know, when I come home from work or when
Speaker 7: I leave in the morning.
Speaker 2: I just's gonna be I mean, Sam, I gotta I mean, listen,
Speaker 2: I got a couple of things that I'm thinking about.
Speaker 2: Is I mean one, Okay, you're social The social worker said,
Speaker 2: you can't really do anything unless if you know that
Speaker 2: this person has intent to harm anyone else or harm
Speaker 2: herself at a certain point. And I don't know, I'm
Speaker 2: not a lawyer or a social worker or anything, but
Speaker 2: at a certain point, do you do you not have
Speaker 2: enough evidence or could compile enough evidence to go and
Speaker 2: say I have reasonable belief that this person might attempt
Speaker 2: to hurt me.
Speaker 7: I mean I do, but I mean I just feel
Speaker 7: like that there's not that much aggression in what she's
Speaker 7: got apart from asshole on my door. But see that's
Speaker 7: kind of I mean, that's kind of aggressive, isn't it.
Speaker 7: Like see the rest of it's just mental. It's just
Speaker 7: like wild behavior, you know, like how.
Speaker 2: Much left do you have left on how much more
Speaker 2: time do you have left on that least?
Speaker 7: Oh? Man, I don't like four months?
Speaker 2: How do you feel that booking it?
Speaker 8: Yeah? Maybe you're right, man.
Speaker 2: I mean I hate that. I I you know, I
Speaker 2: hate that answer. I'm not saying it's the right answer.
Speaker 2: I hate it because I don't think that, you know,
Speaker 2: part you should let a person who is threatening you
Speaker 2: or or causing you to feel unsafe. I don't think
Speaker 2: you should, you know, vacate and let them win. But
Speaker 2: also I think the idea of quote letting them win
Speaker 2: is stupid and you should just do whatever is best
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, if I were you, man, I would
Speaker 2: just collect as much evidence as you can to you know,
Speaker 2: make a compelling case to any kind of you know,
Speaker 2: social or whatever police authority that you feel unsafe.
Speaker 7: Maybe I should you know those Teddy bears where they
Speaker 7: put the cameras in the eyes. Sure, I confession something
Speaker 7: like that.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like that would be illegal on your part,
Speaker 2: so I would avoid the teddy bear with the camera.
Speaker 7: But I liked how when you were listening to me
Speaker 7: for the most your eyes closed, by the.
Speaker 2: Way I do people who are listening on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Can I see this? But I have my eyes closed
Speaker 2: because I I think I'm like partially blind right now,
Speaker 2: and so I'm seeing if I close my eyes return,
Speaker 2: so we'll see, we'll see.
Speaker 7: But I was thinking, maybe you're imagining what I look like.
Speaker 7: And then I was like, what does he imagine that
Speaker 7: I look like?
Speaker 2: I'm imagining what you look like right now?
Speaker 8: Actually tell her?
Speaker 2: Have I got blonde?
Speaker 5: Oh shit?
Speaker 2: Are you blinde?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 7: Man, you're fucking You're fucking well, dude, Yeah, I'm blown. Man,
Speaker 7: that's crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm secretly working together with your next door neighbor to
Speaker 2: stalk you.
Speaker 8: Is it you piss?
Speaker 2: It's messing in her purse, Yeph was Sam. Well, I'm
Speaker 2: sorry here. I I I am of no help because
Speaker 2: I have no authority in the u State of London
Speaker 2: or in any state of any kind. But I hope
Speaker 2: that you find some way to mitigate the situation.
Speaker 7: Thank you, man, I appreciate I just wanted to say.
Speaker 8: As well, I've just felt at a therapy.
Speaker 7: Degree and you were fifteen percent of the breeding to
Speaker 7: me doing that, man.
Speaker 2: So fifteen percent. I'll take fifteen percent.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think that's pretty good. Like that's me being.
Speaker 2: Honest, you know, No, I'm glad. I no, No, fifteen percent
Speaker 2: is great because if you told me I was the
Speaker 2: sole reason, I'd be like, I'd be concerned. But fifteen I.
Speaker 7: Don't want to lie to you either, and you're not.
Speaker 7: But thank you, man, I have the best evening.
Speaker 2: Hey you for the people.
Speaker 7: I just want to say, Maroon Five's first album was
Speaker 7: fucking so good.
Speaker 8: So I don't know what happened. Goodbye, Thank you can later.
Speaker 2: I don't know anything about maroon five, but I don't
Speaker 2: know whatever, Sam says, I I second blindly Hello, Hello, Hi?
Speaker 2: Is this Kylie?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 5: Nothing much?
Speaker 2: What are you? What are you doing?
Speaker 5: I'm just chilling on my bed watching a live stream
Speaker 5: of a gecko?
Speaker 2: What that's that's that's that sounds stupid? A live stream
Speaker 2: of a gecko? We what even is that? What's what's up? Kylie?
Speaker 2: What's is there anything in particular you called in to
Speaker 2: chat about.
Speaker 4: Preull.
Speaker 5: I didn't think I was gonna be able to talk
Speaker 5: to you. So there's so many I am, You're right here,
Speaker 5: you are, you are right now.
Speaker 2: Feel your breath, feel your your your hands, feel your eyes,
Speaker 2: your nose, your mouth. You're alive in the universe. I
Speaker 2: mean billions of years, Kylie, billions and billions and billions
Speaker 2: and billions of years in the past. You are not around.
Speaker 2: In the future, you will be dead. You won't be around.
Speaker 2: And we're living in the thinnest possible microscopic margin of
Speaker 2: time in which you exist, in which I exist, and
Speaker 2: where we both are living in this time together. I'm
Speaker 2: feeling the camaraderie with everyone who can fucking hear my
Speaker 2: voice right now with you about about living in this
Speaker 2: margin together? What a crazy thing? What's up with you?
Speaker 2: What is there? Is there anything you wanted to talk about?
Speaker 2: I mean, how are you feeling this? Let's let's let's
Speaker 2: talk about stuff.
Speaker 5: Well, I've been a little bit stressed lately. Tell me
Speaker 5: what I just Well, I just bought a new car
Speaker 5: and it was this whole situation. It fucking ridiculous, first
Speaker 5: of all, and so it's just really stressful. So I
Speaker 5: went to a car dealership because I wanted to get
Speaker 5: a new car. I wanted like a four x four,
Speaker 5: like a I will drive, but like that kind of car.
Speaker 5: I went to a dealership and they tried to sell
Speaker 5: me this one car, and I bought it, and then
Speaker 5: but the bank didn't approve it, so I kind of
Speaker 5: get the car. They needed a co sign there. My
Speaker 5: dad wanted to co sign for me, So then I
Speaker 5: was looking around at different places to find this tight
Speaker 5: kind of car. And then but then the dealership was
Speaker 5: trying to sell me like cars like regularly, like sedans
Speaker 5: and stuff like that, and I was like, uh, they
Speaker 5: tried to sell me this one car, and I was like,
Speaker 5: I haven't even seen it and I haven't even tested you.
Speaker 2: I have here the of of of what you told
Speaker 2: the call screen or do you wanted to talk about
Speaker 2: I don't know if you don't want to talk about
Speaker 2: that anymore.
Speaker 5: Oh no I do. I just was saying that this
Speaker 5: was stressing me out for the past a couple of times.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I'm sorry, I mean to cut you off.
Speaker 5: No, you're good. No, it was just like they tried
Speaker 5: to sell my car and then I made a bad
Speaker 5: decision and bought the car.
Speaker 7: And then now I'm kind of stuck with it.
Speaker 5: So that's like the moral of the story.
Speaker 2: Well, it's better than what, it's not better than Sometimes
Speaker 2: I like I like walking, but I like driving to
Speaker 2: Actually that's not sure. I don't driving. I've been watching
Speaker 2: a lot of videos of car accidents on Reddit. Well,
Speaker 2: you know what, Kylie, what did you want to talk
Speaker 2: about today? Let's I'm done with cars, I'm done with myself,
Speaker 2: I'm done with anything. Just let's talk about stuff.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, okay. So I have this tool worker at
Speaker 5: work and he's like, what like fifty four or fifty
Speaker 5: five okay, and I have I think I have a
Speaker 5: crush on him. Okay, I'm twenty four.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: I don't know what to do because he was like
Speaker 5: at one point he was like he like asked me
Speaker 5: if like I signed him attractive or something like that.
Speaker 4: I was like no, And then later on I'm.
Speaker 6: Like, yeah, So I'm a little in a pickle, and
Speaker 6: but I don't know if I would ask him out
Speaker 6: or not, because I haven't decided if I actually like
Speaker 6: him or not.
Speaker 5: So I'm kind of like, oh, what do you.
Speaker 2: Want to do?
Speaker 1: What do you what?
Speaker 2: Do you want to do?
Speaker 5: I don't know. He he's really cool. And I think
Speaker 5: I had a crush on one of my old coworkers.
Speaker 5: He was forty five, okay, and I asked him out
Speaker 5: and he said no. And then my ex was thirty. No, yeah, thirty.
Speaker 5: So like I guess I have a thing for older
Speaker 5: guys or something like that. So like maybe it's like
Speaker 5: the age, so like he's really cool, you know.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well you said you're twenty four, right, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: you're twenty four. I'm twenty four as well. I feel
Speaker 2: like at twenty four you uh you. I mean, look,
Speaker 2: you can do whatever you want with your life, you know,
Speaker 2: I mean what what are you? What? Where is where
Speaker 2: I want to know for you? In your brain and
Speaker 2: your thought processes. Where the conflict comes from?
Speaker 5: Well, I think I have a little bit of daddy issues,
Speaker 5: So I I think I have a thing for older men, right,
Speaker 5: And so the conflict is is that it's like while
Speaker 5: I'm so young, and he obviously like jokes about he
Speaker 5: jokes about like how young I am all the time,
Speaker 5: and like all this other kind of stuff is like
Speaker 5: would he even like me like that? Because I'm so young?
Speaker 5: You know, and so there's that, and then you're like
Speaker 5: the typical like I don't like myself type of stuff.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean I mean hold on, stop, stop, stop,
Speaker 2: stop right there. And you said, do you you do
Speaker 2: you feel as though? You said, you feel as though
Speaker 2: you don't like yourself? Yeah, and you feel as do
Speaker 2: you feel as though that is like having an effect
Speaker 2: on the decisions you make? Is you navigate the relationships
Speaker 2: in your life?
Speaker 5: Oh definitely?
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean listen, yeah, the relationships are hard at
Speaker 2: fucking age or amount of fucking thrupple or gender or
Speaker 2: any of that stuff. Throw every throw it all out
Speaker 2: the window for a second here. Fucking relationships are tough
Speaker 2: to navigate. And with any of the relationships stuff is about,
Speaker 2: you know, if you have this thing that's going going
Speaker 2: on with you, and I don't know, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to tell you how to live your life, but if
Speaker 2: you have a thing that's going on with you, I
Speaker 2: would i'd hope that you are prioritizing dealing with with
Speaker 2: that before you, uh, you know, focus on your engagements
Speaker 2: with other people. Does that make sense? Is it? Is
Speaker 2: it valid? I don't know.
Speaker 5: It's the you know, love yourself before you you can.
Speaker 5: You have to love yourself before you can love others.
Speaker 2: Of course, right, yeah, of course, of course do you Okay?
Speaker 2: So I no, go ahead, and go ahead, I'm interrupting you.
Speaker 5: No, I was just gonna say, and I and I
Speaker 5: agree with that, But I also feel like you don't
Speaker 5: have to love you don't have to love yourself to
Speaker 5: love someone at the same time, because you can love
Speaker 5: anybody you want if you don't love yourself, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent, I think you should go and do
Speaker 2: whatever you want. Well, let's talk about this, okay. You
Speaker 2: said that you feel as though you not liking yourself
Speaker 2: influences the way you navigate relationships. Why why do you
Speaker 2: think that is or in what way do you think
Speaker 2: it affects navigate it affects how you navigate relationships?
Speaker 5: I think mostly for me is that I just don't
Speaker 5: believe that anyone could ever love me for me, you know, yeah,
Speaker 5: and I there's that, and I just so like when
Speaker 5: it's such a comes up, like if someone's angry at
Speaker 5: me or something like that, I have a really hard
Speaker 5: time with confrontations.
Speaker 3: So like.
Speaker 5: Navigating through a relationship, trying to build that relationship with someone,
Speaker 5: I always go for the like I always go for
Speaker 5: the what I'm what's what I'm looking for?
Speaker 4: The combination or the I can't think of the word
Speaker 4: is it.
Speaker 2: Or is it? Are you looking for the thing that?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, no, I can't think hold on, Are you looking
Speaker 2: for the because you said that you feel as though
Speaker 2: people can't just love you for you? Are you looking
Speaker 2: for like the thing that they like you for?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 5: Not necessarily, because like I talk about this in therapy with.
Speaker 3: My therapist, but the I know, like I know that
Speaker 3: I'm beautiful and amazing and kind and.
Speaker 5: All those great things, but like I don't feel like that,
Speaker 5: So like trying to like navigate that relationship of like, well,
Speaker 5: I feel like this, but I know that they do
Speaker 5: love me for me, but like I feel like they don't.
Speaker 5: So like are feelings or our thoughts more important? Like
Speaker 5: which one is better?
Speaker 7: Like which one?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Which one do you go for?
Speaker 5: It's like that kind of like toss up of like
Speaker 5: which one is more important to you as a person?
Speaker 2: And yes, so I mean look back to the central
Speaker 2: issue that you you started with, which is not actually
Speaker 2: the central issue, but just the issue that you started
Speaker 2: with of whether or not you want to get involved
Speaker 2: with this guy. Do you feel as though your journey
Speaker 2: toward uh, trying to to not hate yourself will be aided, impeded,
Speaker 2: or unrelated indifference to you pursuing something with this guy.
Speaker 5: Uh, I know that he would treat me right as
Speaker 5: a person.
Speaker 2: So you know, you listen, listen. You don't have to,
Speaker 2: you don't have to, you don't have to come up,
Speaker 2: you don't have to come up with an answer to
Speaker 2: that right now. But I think that, oh, I guess
Speaker 2: you know, if you're sitting here, you say you're in
Speaker 2: a pickle. I think that that's the question as you're
Speaker 2: navigating your pickle, uh, to think about.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, is it really like such a big deal?
Speaker 5: You know, because like, but it is, but like it
Speaker 5: isn't at the same.
Speaker 2: Time, like, well, I mean, you you have your own
Speaker 2: there's no right or wrong answer to any of this stuff,
Speaker 2: whether or not's a big I mean, you decide whether
Speaker 2: or not it's a big deal. I would if I
Speaker 2: and here's I'll say this, I would take I would
Speaker 2: really take any peripheral societal thoughts away for a second
Speaker 2: and just think about what you believe is best for
Speaker 2: you in your life. And also what I whatever your
Speaker 2: therapist said, because I'm curious about that. What did your
Speaker 2: therapists say about all this?
Speaker 5: I actually haven't told her, Okay, so she she actually
Speaker 5: doesn't know. Because the last time that we were talking,
Speaker 5: we were talking about about my car situation and how
Speaker 5: that made me feel.
Speaker 2: And you did talk a lot about a car. I
Speaker 2: do remember that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's really not that interesting, but at the time
Speaker 5: it was very stressful, you know. But and then we
Speaker 5: got talking about some things that happened to me in
Speaker 5: my past and like pretty deep things, and yeah, it
Speaker 5: was just I don't.
Speaker 2: Know if you want to talk about this, but or
Speaker 2: is it a car thing? I kind of I kind
Speaker 2: of have to move on. But no, is there anything
Speaker 2: else you want to say with the people of the
Speaker 2: computer before we go.
Speaker 5: Anything?
Speaker 4: I want to see the computer?
Speaker 5: You people, You should definitely try to be kind to people,
Speaker 5: even if they're mean to you, at least philosophy.
Speaker 2: I like that. I like that, you know, being being
Speaker 2: kind when it's hard. I like that. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 2: very much for calling Kylie. I hope that you uh
Speaker 2: figure out what to do.
Speaker 5: Thank you Lyle for your time. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 5: I have a good one, you too, all right bye.
Speaker 2: On this stream, we talked to people and with their
Speaker 2: people in thrupples, people and people in relationships of you
Speaker 2: know whatever, straight relationships, gay relationships for the age, whatever,
Speaker 2: relations relationships with four people in them, or any kind
Speaker 2: of any relationship of any case. It's all complicated, tough
Speaker 2: to navigate, and and I don't know, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I know how I feel. I'm no expert on any
Speaker 2: of that stuff. Uh well, people, one thing I'm learning
Speaker 2: from all all these calls have taken over these people
Speaker 2: that it's just it's a it's like maybe the most
Speaker 2: common topic that people have there's navigating relationships. I'm not
Speaker 2: talking about it anymore. Goes on the line taking your
Speaker 2: phone calls every night, ever, goes to is teaching you cloudy?
Speaker 2: Not really an expert