Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature feature production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host
Speaker 1: of Many Parasites, Katie Golden, and today I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about one of the world's most notorious parasites. Leeches.
Speaker 1: These little suckers love our blood, but they're far more
Speaker 1: devious and suck far more than you might think. Discover
Speaker 1: this more as we answer the age old question is
Speaker 1: leech is the best medicine? Joining me today is friend
Speaker 1: of the show Garfield, appreciator, comedian, TV writer and enrolled
Speaker 1: Keal's Indian tribal member, as well as the creator of
Speaker 1: the digital series Gone Native, Joey Clift.
Speaker 2: Welcome. Yeah, everybody, thanks so much for having me. I'm
Speaker 2: always excited to come back and talk about things that suck.
Speaker 2: That's leeches. That's what they do.
Speaker 1: That's what they do, suck and it's funny because suck.
Speaker 1: I mean two things at the same time. Joey, when
Speaker 1: I have you on, we usually talk about cats because
Speaker 1: we are both big fans of cats. We're both big
Speaker 1: fans of Garfield. So this is a little bit of
Speaker 1: a pivot. We're pivoting to leeches. Now are you Are
Speaker 1: you on board with the rebrand?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean, I feel like I'm like a notorious
Speaker 2: cat guy, but I guess I'm okay with shifting to
Speaker 2: being a notorious leech guy. I feel like that. I
Speaker 2: feel like that's now that I'm getting older, now that
Speaker 2: I'm getting to medicine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, getting more refined. I mean, if you think about it, right,
Speaker 1: like leeches are the cats of the insect world. They
Speaker 1: just kind of suck off of our lifeblood. And you
Speaker 1: know that's about it, right, Cats just kind of live
Speaker 1: off of us. They take our food, they take our resources,
Speaker 1: and don't really give anything in your turn except for
Speaker 1: being adorable, just like a leech.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think that if you think about it,
Speaker 2: like Garfield is for sure a leech. I mean he's
Speaker 2: basically sucking the life of John Arbuckle. Like also in
Speaker 2: this world, John our buckles blood is lasagna.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't really think about that metaphor much past
Speaker 2: the initial thought his veins.
Speaker 1: Are full of ricotta. Yeah. I mean, you know, so
Speaker 1: leeches look love them or hate them, they exist and
Speaker 1: they're everywhere, and personally I like them. Maybe I don't
Speaker 1: want a bunch of them on me at once, but
Speaker 1: you know, they're really fascinating. Actually, uh, what are your
Speaker 1: things on leeches?
Speaker 2: Wait? Well, wait question. Okay, you said you didn't want
Speaker 2: a bunch of them on you. What is the max
Speaker 2: amount of leeches that you'd want on you.
Speaker 1: Let's see. I'm gonna say two, one on each leg,
Speaker 1: and then any more than that, I think I'd start
Speaker 1: to get a little bit unnerved, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like cause, like, once it's three leeches, it's like, all right, guys,
Speaker 1: what am I a buffet? But if it's two leeches,
Speaker 1: then it's sort of just a friendly gathering. It's like
Speaker 1: a date. It's like a little leech dinner date, and
Speaker 1: that's not so bad. But yeah, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be a leech buffet.
Speaker 2: That makes sense. And you're asking what my opinion on
Speaker 2: leeches is. Into that, I'm gonna say, let's see if
Speaker 2: I can sing this the Jack Black Mario Brothers song
Speaker 2: leeches leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches. I'm fine
Speaker 2: with you. Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 1: Nice, very good. I have not seen that movie, despite
Speaker 1: I think it being free on Twitter. I've heard you can, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: leeches are really really interesting. There are many species of leeches.
Speaker 1: And a lot of leeches that we're familiar with have
Speaker 1: these three jaws that look like a grappling hook to
Speaker 1: puncture your skin, such as the North American medicinal leech.
Speaker 1: And we'll talk about why it's called that later, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it has three jaws and around fifty to sixty tiny
Speaker 1: teeth or denticles on each jaw, and they use these
Speaker 1: jaws to saw into your skin and make a wound
Speaker 1: through which to suck your blood. So you know, they're
Speaker 1: like tiny doctors or vampires. Tiny vampire doctors who surgically
Speaker 1: cut open your skin so they can eat your blood.
Speaker 2: I mean, I do base my value of like how
Speaker 2: good my doctor is based on how many teeth they have. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: so far leeches are great doctors.
Speaker 1: Our teeth better doctor. My doctor just has teeth like
Speaker 1: coming out of his nose, and you know that's good.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd let that doctor do whatever surgery on you
Speaker 2: thought was a good idea.
Speaker 1: So their saliva famously contains a potent anticoagulant that can
Speaker 1: cause you to bleed for over twelve hours. Now, this
Speaker 1: sounds very dangerous, but you know, if if it's just
Speaker 1: one leech incision, right, it's you're probably not going to
Speaker 1: lose too much of your blood. Now, if it's you know,
Speaker 1: a bunch of leeches, that could start to be a problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I feel like a leech, like is
Speaker 2: could one leech suck all of the blood from your body?
Speaker 2: Or like how much blood can one leech hold?
Speaker 1: So it kind of depends on the species of leech.
Speaker 1: One leech could definitely not suck all the blood from
Speaker 1: your body. We actually have, we have a good amount
Speaker 1: of blood, probably gallons. I actually don't know how much
Speaker 1: the total blood a human being.
Speaker 2: Here with five cups something like that.
Speaker 1: I think more than five cups. I'm not a serial killer,
Speaker 1: so I have not memorized how much blood.
Speaker 2: It's at least like a mountain dew two later bottle.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, at least so no one leech cannot suck
Speaker 1: you dry. They can suck a lot of blood, like
Speaker 1: they can, you know, increase in sol eyes massively and
Speaker 1: absorb a huge amount of blood. But I would say it,
Speaker 1: I mean, it depends on the species. Some are small
Speaker 1: and will only be able to suck so much blood,
Speaker 1: and some are larger and can get a good amount
Speaker 1: of blood in them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can a leech suck all of your blood? No?
Speaker 1: I know that's not true for like a you know,
Speaker 1: average size like North American medical leech. They can consume
Speaker 1: around ten milli liters after a feeding, which is a
Speaker 1: lot for the leech. That's like ten times its own weight.
Speaker 1: But you know, for a human, that's totally manageable as
Speaker 1: long as it's like one leech.
Speaker 2: I wonder, is any I mean, okay, so I'm answering
Speaker 2: this question knowing the answer already of like, have there
Speaker 2: ever been so many leeches on somebody that the leeches
Speaker 2: have sucked all of their blood out? And then I've
Speaker 2: just kind of realized, Oh, of course people use leeches
Speaker 2: for medicinal purposes. One percent people.
Speaker 1: Died from them, probably from medical malpractice back in the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that there have been rare cases of leeches
Speaker 1: causing death due to severe anemia. But I think these
Speaker 1: were actually ingested not external leeches.
Speaker 2: I really want to know the context of why somebody
Speaker 2: ate alive leech.
Speaker 1: Well, it was not. These were called pharyngeal leeches, so
Speaker 1: they were ingested on accident in contaminated drinking water. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think that they actually attach inside of the throat,
Speaker 1: and yeah, because you don't know they're there, and it
Speaker 1: just kind of causes a severe anemia on accident. They're
Speaker 1: usually ectopair sites. But that's that seems much more likely
Speaker 1: than being killed by leeches on your body, because you're
Speaker 1: gonna probably notice them and be able to pull them
Speaker 1: off before that happens.
Speaker 2: So okay, So I have a question about leeches. Uh,
Speaker 2: if a leech was as cute as a cat, or
Speaker 2: if a cat required drinking your blood, would you have
Speaker 2: a would you like, would you give a cat just
Speaker 2: like a little bit of your blood over day? I
Speaker 2: probably would.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh I absolutely would. Honestly, you put a little
Speaker 1: bow on a leech and I'd probably let it, you know,
Speaker 1: eib on me. That's all right, I'm not Yeah, I
Speaker 1: drink guy. Yeah, I used to be sort of squeamish
Speaker 1: about getting my blood drawn. But I think if it
Speaker 1: was done by a leech and the leech like was
Speaker 1: like thank you, you know, and really cute and had
Speaker 1: big little puppy dog eyes, absolutely i'd let it check
Speaker 1: my blood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it leached me out at me, like if
Speaker 2: after a leech like and it took a mix sip
Speaker 2: of my blood. It looked me in the eyes and
Speaker 2: went like no, I'd be like, you could have as
Speaker 2: much as you want.
Speaker 1: I would just assume probably at that point I had
Speaker 1: lost so much blood that I'm hallucinating, but I'd still
Speaker 1: be on board.
Speaker 2: So yeah.
Speaker 1: Most species of leeches are aquatic. That's how people accidentally
Speaker 1: ingest them in the water. That's how you get them,
Speaker 1: like after you like wade through water or swim and
Speaker 1: then you come out and like, hey, I've got a
Speaker 1: leech on me. Whoops. They typically live in fresh water
Speaker 1: environments and some live in marine environments. But there are
Speaker 1: actually a few species of leeches that are terrestrial and
Speaker 1: they live in moist forest floors. Uh. And terrestrial leeches
Speaker 1: have a really interesting trick for when the weather gets
Speaker 1: too dry, they will burrow underground to avoid total water loss,
Speaker 1: and they're out of skin, will dry out, and they're
Speaker 1: kind of like they're also covered in mucus, so that's
Speaker 1: helps them as well. And they can remain like this
Speaker 1: for months and then you just add a little bit
Speaker 1: of water and then they will regain their moisture and
Speaker 1: be back to normal. They'll reanimate. They're kind of like
Speaker 1: those you know those like little like what are they
Speaker 1: like sponge dinosaurs and you put them in water and
Speaker 1: they can get really big. I feel like that. I
Speaker 1: have never seen those toys since I was like tin
Speaker 1: But uh, there used to be a toy where it's
Speaker 1: like you get this like like a little capsule or
Speaker 1: something and you'd put it in water and suddenly absorb
Speaker 1: all the water.
Speaker 2: And that sounds like me when I'm just like binge
Speaker 2: watching a very long TV show where it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just kind of stop moving. My body gets covered
Speaker 2: in like a mucus like substance, and then at a
Speaker 2: certain point I cover myself in water and then I'm.
Speaker 1: Like I'm back, I'm moisturized and I'm thriving. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: me playing Legend of Zelda. I uh fun, It's it's
Speaker 1: very fun. I don't recommend it if you're interested in
Speaker 1: staying hydrated and taking potty breaks as needed, because you know,
Speaker 1: I will sit there and kind of shrivel up like
Speaker 1: a leech and just be like, but Link needs to
Speaker 1: save Princess Zelda. Did you know that Zelda's the name
Speaker 1: of the princess? And you know it's it's a problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like something about like I feel like I
Speaker 2: have to be careful with how much I play video
Speaker 2: games because I used to just be like a huge gamer,
Speaker 2: and like now I'm at the point where like, if
Speaker 2: I get really into a game, I'll like start it
Speaker 2: in the morning and then I'll like blink and it's
Speaker 2: three in the morning, and just like I haven't eaten
Speaker 2: any food or drinking water, where am I?
Speaker 1: You know? Leeches are just like us in this way.
Speaker 1: They will sort of chill out, dry out, become little
Speaker 1: raisins until water is poured on them and they rehydrate.
Speaker 1: There are actually over six hundred and eighty speeches of leeches,
Speaker 1: and not all of them are black and shiny or brown.
Speaker 1: You know. Some are actually bright orange, some are red
Speaker 1: or yellow, Some are multi colored with stripes or speckles.
Speaker 1: Some can even be blue or green. The tiger leech
Speaker 1: of Borneo has bright orange and yellow stripes. It looks
Speaker 1: like the garfield of leeches. Joey, look at this beautiful leech.
Speaker 1: Can you say you would not let this leech, you know,
Speaker 1: suck a little bit of your blood?
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, without question. My question about this leech is
Speaker 2: do we know what his opinions about Mondays are.
Speaker 1: Unlike Garfield, he's actually not a fan of Tuesdays. Why
Speaker 1: I know, right, He's.
Speaker 2: Completely different from everything I know. So, the the reason
Speaker 2: that leeches are different colors. I know that sometimes with
Speaker 2: like snakes, colors will show you, like you know, sometimes
Speaker 2: colors are for camouflage purposes. Sometimes it's like show you
Speaker 2: that they're venomous or not. Is there a reason that
Speaker 2: leeches are different colors? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, some of it can be camouflaged,
Speaker 1: some of it could be a warning coloration. Some of
Speaker 1: it could be potentially for mating, like mating coloration. There's
Speaker 1: all sorts of you know, these different mechanisms are any
Speaker 1: of them like.
Speaker 2: To distinguish flavors, Like if I eat the orange one,
Speaker 2: does you taste like an orange? Or eat the black one?
Speaker 2: Does you taste like licorice?
Speaker 1: This one is? This orange one is actually hot cheetohs flavored.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's a delicious leech. I mean, like this
Speaker 2: is this is why people die eating leeches. As I
Speaker 2: look at that and I'm like, oh, it tastes like
Speaker 2: hot cheetohs. I'll pop a couple of leeches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how they get you. So, marine leeches are
Speaker 1: often really tiny. They're actually not that well understood or
Speaker 1: well researched. Some of them are actually quite pretty though.
Speaker 1: These are like black and white or orange and white striped.
Speaker 1: These ones look like little creamsicle flavored ones. Think they're
Speaker 1: actually kind of pretty.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I would. I would definitely eat a creamstickle flavored leech. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also question about Okay, so this photo that we're looking at,
Speaker 2: it's a couple of leeches that are attached to something
Speaker 2: that I initially thought was like somebody's like beltline, like
Speaker 2: right above their jeans. Is that a fish? What are these?
Speaker 1: It is a fish. It's a fish. It is leeching
Speaker 1: a fish. It's sucking the blood out of a fish.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm sure fishes don't really like them, but
Speaker 1: I think they're pretty. But yeah, they're tiny. Uh, and
Speaker 1: so they can kind of like hang out on a
Speaker 1: fish without the fish really noticing. And the method by
Speaker 1: which leeches suck blood differs. So some leeches, like the
Speaker 1: medical sorry, the North American medicinal leech that I described,
Speaker 1: has that those three jaws that work like a sort
Speaker 1: of surgical grappling hook.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like like it's like a grabber thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like a grabber thing. But some leeches have sharp
Speaker 1: like you said, you.
Speaker 2: Said, surgical grappling hook, and then I said, yeah, like
Speaker 2: a grabber guy.
Speaker 1: Like a little grabby guy. But you know, other leeches
Speaker 1: have sharp proboscises that they used to poke a hole
Speaker 1: in their host and suck up blood. It's sort of
Speaker 1: like a straw, like a sharp straw. Leeches also common
Speaker 1: a variety of sizes. The smallest leeches are around half
Speaker 1: an inch or one centimeter long, and the largest species
Speaker 1: is the giant amazon leech. It is I would say
Speaker 1: upsettingly large. It can be nearly eighteen inches long or
Speaker 1: forty five centimeters and four inches wide or ten centimeters.
Speaker 1: It uses the proboscis method of puncturing its host and
Speaker 1: slurps you up like a shake. I think I would
Speaker 1: hit my limit with this leech. Like if I found
Speaker 1: this leech on me, I think I'm just gonna go
Speaker 1: till night night time. I'm gonna pass out for a
Speaker 1: minute so I don't have to face reality that there's
Speaker 1: this giant leech on my leg.
Speaker 2: Yeah, looking at this, you have a photo of this
Speaker 2: leech for us. It's so big that it's wrapped basically
Speaker 2: fully around a person's leg. It looks terrible. It looks
Speaker 2: like a snake, except a snake that exclusively drinks your blood.
Speaker 2: But a big question what if it fit me out,
Speaker 2: if it me out and was covered with fur, would
Speaker 2: you be okay with you?
Speaker 1: I mean, how big are its eyes in this scenario?
Speaker 2: Are it's big and they's just real real big and cute?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I'm letting it suck my blood in that circumstance.
Speaker 2: But this one take like, take it all, take it all.
Speaker 1: This one is not fluffy, its size are not big
Speaker 1: and cute. Uh, and it is actually a rare sighting.
Speaker 1: They were once thought to be extinct, so of course
Speaker 1: researchers brought them back to UC Berkeley to start breeding them.
Speaker 2: So my question there is, I feel like somebody's reaction
Speaker 2: to oh, they're probably extinct was good, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 2: then some jerk was just like, no, we must save them.
Speaker 1: We must save them. I mean, yeah, jokes aside. It
Speaker 1: makes sense, right, because animals that, even like gross animals,
Speaker 1: can have a lot of interesting things about them that
Speaker 1: either teaches the teaches us about the environment, like the
Speaker 1: local ecology can even have like medicinal uses. We'll talk
Speaker 1: about that later, but like the leech could have some
Speaker 1: interesting compound, right, and it's saliva that only this leech
Speaker 1: species have that could help us better understand medicine or
Speaker 1: it could you know, help us understand how something like this.
Speaker 1: Why why is this leech extremely big compared to other leeches.
Speaker 1: So there is a lot of information. Also, once you
Speaker 1: start naming the leeches, I feel like you can kind
Speaker 1: of convince yourself they're cute. So they named the progenitor
Speaker 1: speech Grandma Moses after the artist. Yeah, it was after
Speaker 1: this folk artist who, as everyone remembers, Grandma Motives, Grandma Moses,
Speaker 1: the folk artist who was a giant leech. She these
Speaker 1: beautiful sort of Americana folk art and yes she was
Speaker 1: also yes, yes, but yeah, Grandma Moses. The leech had
Speaker 1: over seven hundred and fifty offspring, So wow, how does
Speaker 1: she do it? How does she have a full time
Speaker 1: career as a folk artist and have over seven hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty offspring? That, ladies, is what I call leaning in.
Speaker 2: Yeah that I say, yeah, yes, queen boss, yeah, spech queen,
Speaker 2: that's real girl boss entered. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Actually the most species most species of leeches are hermaphrodite.
Speaker 1: So girl boss boy boss them boss.
Speaker 2: Yeah they yeah, I stand uh binary leech wuaene king yeah,
Speaker 2: whatever the term is for r Latin binary beach royalty.
Speaker 1: I think we got it.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, So like I feel like I just
Speaker 2: kind of I just realized for sure. The scientist that
Speaker 2: decided to read these leeches is a Spider Man villain. Right.
Speaker 2: He bears a leech costume. He exclusively drinks stuff through
Speaker 2: a straw. There's a giant leech in his room that
Speaker 2: he talks to.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent, right, I'm shocked that there's not a
Speaker 1: more prominent supervillain who's leech themed. I'm gonna look up
Speaker 1: leech super villain. I know there's like the Tick, which
Speaker 1: feels so, but the Tick is a hero leech character.
Speaker 1: There's just a character named the Leech found in Marvel,
Speaker 1: and I guess he's like a mutant, but he's looks
Speaker 1: like a cute little guy. I don't know. It's it's
Speaker 1: interesting that we don't have like leech Man, who's just
Speaker 1: kind of a big leech with maybe arms, just like
Speaker 1: a big leech with arms and you call him leech Man,
Speaker 1: and he has a tragic backstory as like a dentist
Speaker 1: or something. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the Marvel character Leech was created by Chris Claremont
Speaker 2: and John Remita junior. And my note to them after
Speaker 2: looking at a picture of this character is do.
Speaker 1: Better research leeches more, because this is not a leech.
Speaker 1: This is just a weird little doctor.
Speaker 2: Guy with guy with green skin and three fingers.
Speaker 1: He's a cute little guy. I mean not to say
Speaker 1: leeches aren't cute, but this is not. I want leech
Speaker 1: representation in super villains or hear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is important for leeches to be able to
Speaker 2: see themselves in the media.
Speaker 1: Yes, So, Joey, what if I told you that leeches
Speaker 1: don't always suck blood, or don't always just suck blood.
Speaker 2: I would say my entire world has been shook a
Speaker 2: shook out. Oh god, oh god, oh god god. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know that. Tell me more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some species of leeches are not merely parasites. They
Speaker 1: are active carnivores and predators. So I want to talk
Speaker 1: about the horse leech. It's sadly that would be impressive.
Speaker 1: It's sadly not like a little leech with horse legs
Speaker 1: that winnies, but it is a fat leech. It grows
Speaker 1: around six inches to around six inches or fifteen centimeters long.
Speaker 1: They are found all over Europe and in parts of Asia,
Speaker 1: and they like to hunt prey, and their prey is
Speaker 1: one of the most adorable little guys in the world,
Speaker 1: baby toads. So oh yeah, baby toads are called toadlets,
Speaker 1: and they are adorable. Unfortunately for them, horse leeches find
Speaker 1: them bite sized and delicious. So uh. The thing about
Speaker 1: horse leeches is they don't actually suck human blood, but
Speaker 1: they do sneak up on baby toadlets and quickly engulf them,
Speaker 1: swallowing them whole and alive. And it's just kind of
Speaker 1: sad to watch because you see this little baby toad
Speaker 1: with its head sticking out of a leech with an
Speaker 1: expression of oh God, why why me? I hate mondays
Speaker 1: and this leech is just sucking it down.
Speaker 2: Okay, now I'm googling horse leech eats toad to see
Speaker 2: what comes up. Is there a photo of this? Oh God,
Speaker 2: this is so depressing. Yeah, yeah, this reminds me a
Speaker 2: lot of I think the horse leeches was probably the
Speaker 2: design that was usually as the inspiration for leeches in
Speaker 2: the Resident Evil series, like the couple of Residubles. They
Speaker 2: were like leeches. They would have like one tooth and
Speaker 2: they would jump up on you and then like hook
Speaker 2: their tooth on your leg and it was always very annoying. Bleat.
Speaker 2: They give you the bleeding status effect, which was the worst.
Speaker 1: I hate it when leeches give me the bleeding status effect. Well,
Speaker 1: these leeches give these toadlets the eaten whole status effect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the dead status effect.
Speaker 1: That you are getting digested inside this leech. They can
Speaker 1: even grab onto the toelet with their butt end, either
Speaker 1: end can grab and then they just sort of feed
Speaker 1: themselves the toelet from their butt into their mouth, so
Speaker 1: kind of a humiliating end for the totlet. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's not very digulously.
Speaker 2: So these their butt is like like an elephant's.
Speaker 1: Trunk, yeah yeah, or yeah, like a like a fork,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I guess you're right, more like an elephant's
Speaker 1: trunk to put it into their mouth.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that sounds that's deeply unsanitary.
Speaker 1: It's well, you know what I feel like, when you're
Speaker 1: a leech, you don't concern yourself with such things, right,
Speaker 1: such as being sanitary or your war crimes against toadlets.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, if I could use my butt as like
Speaker 2: a grabber in which to eat things, I just wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I just would not do that.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, I mean, you know, I feel like it
Speaker 1: would be quite a different society if we could grab
Speaker 1: things with our butts. It maybe it would be better.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'd have your wars because we would be more
Speaker 1: humble given that we grab stuff with our butts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you are describing a perfect utopia.
Speaker 1: So some leachh Some leeches actually specialize in eating worms.
Speaker 1: Kinnabalu giant red leeches of Borneo are such an example.
Speaker 1: As its name implies, it's pretty big. It grows to
Speaker 1: be around twenty inches or fifty centimeters long. This leech
Speaker 1: will start feeling up a worm and looking for the
Speaker 1: end of the worm as you do. You know, you
Speaker 1: find a worm, you gotta find it's one of its ends.
Speaker 1: And then once it's Once it finds the end of
Speaker 1: the worm, it starts to suck up the worm like
Speaker 1: a giant spaghetti. Despite the fact that the leech is
Speaker 1: not that much bigger than the worm itself, so it
Speaker 1: looks like a fat spaghetti eating a fat spaghetti, and
Speaker 1: it's very slimy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems deeply humiliating. I'm looking at a picture
Speaker 2: of a borneo red leach eating a worm right now.
Speaker 2: It seems like it would probably be deeply embarrassing if
Speaker 2: you were a worm that was eaten by another worm,
Speaker 2: but also like not a worm that's like, yeah, you're right,
Speaker 2: it's like pretty much the same size as you. Like.
Speaker 1: As I have frequently stated on this show, the world
Speaker 1: is just tubes or complicated tubes, or tubes and tubes.
Speaker 1: So this is just a case of a tube eating
Speaker 1: another tube, and I think that's just about how you
Speaker 1: can sum up nature.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, it's tubes all the way down.
Speaker 1: It really is. I mean, we're tubes, but we have
Speaker 1: a lot of extra parts, right, Like, yeah we are,
Speaker 1: but we are when when you get down to it,
Speaker 1: we're just tubes and then we eat tubes, right, spaghetti,
Speaker 1: even if you're a vegetarian, right like you eat you
Speaker 1: eat tubes. I feel like a carrot is kind of
Speaker 1: a tube, right, It's got tube like vascular structures inside
Speaker 1: the carrot. Other animals are tubes no matter what you do,
Speaker 1: we're just tubes in tubes in tubes.
Speaker 2: Well you should. You should put that on either a
Speaker 2: t shirt or a poster, like a motivational poster. I
Speaker 2: feel like I would sell a trillion copies and start
Speaker 2: a new religion.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start tattooing it. I'm going to start a
Speaker 1: tattoo shop. But the only thing that I tattoo is
Speaker 1: we're all tubes and tubes and tubes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like all.
Speaker 1: So there's another group of leeches called the Glossophonidae family
Speaker 1: who are flat and oval shaped. They're kind of an
Speaker 1: interesting leech because they're not just your regular sort of squat,
Speaker 1: fat or tube shaped leech. They they're the pancakes of
Speaker 1: the leech world. They live in fresh water bodies bodies
Speaker 1: of fresh water. Some species feed on crocodilians, so they
Speaker 1: attach themselves onto crocodilians and suck their blood, which is
Speaker 1: pretty metal props to them. Some feed on turtles and
Speaker 1: will actually spend most of their life attached to the turtle,
Speaker 1: like the turtle is a little floating island. They may
Speaker 1: sometimes be found on the turtle shell, but they don't actually,
Speaker 1: they can't suck anything through the turtle shell, so they're
Speaker 1: just kind of hanging out there. They're just chilling there,
Speaker 1: and when they need to feed, they will attach themselves
Speaker 1: to the turtle's flesh, intentionally going for a part of
Speaker 1: the turtle's body where the turtle has a hard time
Speaker 1: scratching it off, which just sounds so obnoxious for the turtle.
Speaker 1: You've got your little turtle shell home, so you've got
Speaker 1: a squatter living on your turtle shell and then kind
Speaker 1: of going to your nether regions where you can't scratch
Speaker 1: it off, and then sucking your blood. Rude, bad house.
Speaker 2: That also feels like, I mean, I feel like that's
Speaker 2: a lot of coverage area for a turtle. I feel
Speaker 2: like turtles aren't really known for flexibility or like being
Speaker 2: able to use things off. So it feels like there's
Speaker 2: like ninety percent of the turtle it probably is not
Speaker 2: going to be able to get you off of it
Speaker 2: if you're there.
Speaker 1: That's a very good point. Have you ever seen a
Speaker 1: turtle doing yoga? I haven't.
Speaker 2: I have not, and I feel like that answers a
Speaker 2: lot of questions you now that I think about it.
Speaker 1: So, but some members of the gloss Phona Day family
Speaker 1: prey on fresh water snails, so they will use their
Speaker 1: proboscis that's the leech implement. That's like a pokey straw,
Speaker 1: and they will just suck the snail's fluids right out.
Speaker 1: They'll completely like they kill the snail. This is not parasitism.
Speaker 1: This is predatory behavior. It's like eating escargo with a straw.
Speaker 1: So you know, they're very French.
Speaker 2: Hoow classy. Yeah, I'm watching video of this and this
Speaker 2: is horrible.
Speaker 1: If you ever wanted to feel sorry for a snail,
Speaker 1: this is a good opportunity.
Speaker 2: But you know, and the leeches like kind of clear,
Speaker 2: so you could like see you could like see it
Speaker 2: like eating the Yeah, you can.
Speaker 1: See the juice is traveling through it. It's fun. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like a fun fun straw, crazy straw that's
Speaker 1: see through and you can see it going right in there. Terrified,
Speaker 1: but so you don't. These leeches, the Glossiphoniday family leeches,
Speaker 1: they are actually quite loving parents. They exhibit extraordinary parental care.
Speaker 1: They will carry their offspring in a membranous pouch on
Speaker 1: their bellies like a kangaroo, until their offspring are large
Speaker 1: enough to survive on their own. Another adorable fact is
Speaker 1: that once their offspring emerged from the pouch, they will
Speaker 1: often attach themselves to the parents and suck their parents dry.
Speaker 2: It's so cute, osa, oh got it. They were like
Speaker 2: me when I still live with my mom at like
Speaker 2: twenty two.
Speaker 1: All these a lot of parents listening. You're like, mm hmm, yep,
Speaker 1: that's my Yeah. Yeah, who doesn't want a parent smoothie
Speaker 1: though when you think about it, right, like just kind
Speaker 1: of stick a straw and mima or pop pop and
Speaker 1: suck all their blood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just shake them up and go.
Speaker 1: I love my parents. I'm not I'm not gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like eat my parents. I feel like
Speaker 1: I have to say that when after I've stated that, Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean my parents are both like very skinny, so I
Speaker 2: feel like they're probably mostly crystle. Also my parents and
Speaker 2: will not eat them.
Speaker 1: We're both we're both stating for the record, we're not
Speaker 1: gonna be cannibals and eat our parents.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So when they get eaten, un well, yeah, don't
Speaker 2: look at us run the record saying a what we
Speaker 2: didn't do it.
Speaker 1: It wasn't gonna be us air tighter. Yeah, So Joey,
Speaker 1: I promise to talk about leeches as medicine. Are you
Speaker 1: excited to learn about blood litting?
Speaker 2: I am, yes, very I'm very excited to hear about this.
Speaker 2: Very I'm sure hip new medical practice that is sweeter
Speaker 2: than it.
Speaker 1: So, as you probably already know, leeches used to be
Speaker 1: used in blood letting under the dubious science of humors.
Speaker 1: So this was a practice, you know, hundreds of years ago,
Speaker 1: and the idea was that the body was comprised of
Speaker 1: four humors, blood, yellow bile, black bile, and flim. Of
Speaker 1: course we do have blood, bile and phlim in our bodies,
Speaker 1: but humorism ascribed questionable properties to these fluids and had
Speaker 1: unscientific ideas of how these humors had to be balanced.
Speaker 1: So blood was thought to be the main source of
Speaker 1: energy of the soul and the body, and having a
Speaker 1: sanguine nature meant to be energized social and enthusiastics. So
Speaker 1: you got more blood, you're more charismatic, you're more of
Speaker 1: a social butterfly. If you have less blood, I guess
Speaker 1: you're more introverted, and you play more Legend of Zelda
Speaker 1: instead of going out.
Speaker 2: That makes sense to me. So you basically to make
Speaker 2: some many more extroverted you just to pump more blood
Speaker 2: into their body.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you put more blood in there. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: everything has to be in balance according to humorism. So
Speaker 1: if you had too much blood, you could get diseases,
Speaker 1: and by letting out some of the blood, you'd put
Speaker 1: your humors back into balance again. One theory as to
Speaker 1: an origin of bloodletting is that the Egyptians mistook the
Speaker 1: reddish pink fluid on hippos, which is actually a natural
Speaker 1: secretion that acts as a sun protector. But they thought
Speaker 1: that this fluid was blood. It's not. It's just like
Speaker 1: a skin secretion. It's this pinkish red. It helps me
Speaker 1: attack them.
Speaker 2: It's like homemade sunscreen for hippos.
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly. But they thought that the hippo would actually
Speaker 1: scratch itself to let out blood and soothe itself this way,
Speaker 1: or heal itself, and so they thought this was practice
Speaker 1: that they should perhaps copy. Blood litting was either done
Speaker 1: by simply cutting into the patient or victim or with leeches.
Speaker 1: So leeches were so popular in this medical practice that
Speaker 1: early nineteenth century France imported over forty million leeches per year.
Speaker 2: Cross.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so unfortunately, there's no scientific basis to blood litting.
Speaker 1: We need our blood to be alive, and there's no
Speaker 1: such thing as humor balance, and diseases aren't really caused
Speaker 1: by too much blood. You can certainly have problems with
Speaker 1: the concentration of certain cells or certain compounds in your blood.
Speaker 1: So you can have too high of a concentration of
Speaker 1: red blood cells in your blood or blood and fluids
Speaker 1: building up too much in certain parts of the body.
Speaker 1: But there's not really a thing. It's like it just
Speaker 1: got too much blood in general, and it's causing bad
Speaker 1: vibes within the body.
Speaker 2: I really want to hear that from a doctor's just
Speaker 2: like like yeah, you know, like like everything looks good,
Speaker 2: but like I'm really sorry to tell you this. You
Speaker 2: just have too much blood. You it was just so much.
Speaker 2: You just like we just lose like a cup or
Speaker 2: two of blood.
Speaker 1: You'll be good, right again, You could have you could
Speaker 1: have some kind of issue with your blood, right, like
Speaker 1: a balance of like hey, there's too much not enough
Speaker 1: blood cells, too much blood cells, not enough plasma, too much.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a doctor to be to be
Speaker 1: very honest with you, and so you know, don't trust
Speaker 1: me with your blood. However, Yeah, as far as I
Speaker 1: understand it, there there's no disease that is just like
Speaker 1: you got too much blood son.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have a question about Okay, some medicinal leeches,
Speaker 2: Like I know that like blood letting and leeches were
Speaker 2: kind of used as just sort of like a medical
Speaker 2: catch all for a long time where it was just
Speaker 2: that was just kind of like the default like you know,
Speaker 2: take a salt tablet and walk around the track once
Speaker 2: or twice kind of solution. But is there are there
Speaker 2: any sort of like medicinal qualities or benefits to leeches,
Speaker 2: Like is there is there ever a situation where it
Speaker 2: actually would make sense to use leeches to like lessen something.
Speaker 1: Yes, and in fact they are still used to this
Speaker 1: day in modern medicine. So there are specific species of
Speaker 1: leech such as hiroudu medicanalysis or the European medical leech,
Speaker 1: which can be used for a variety of procedures. So leeches,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned at the top of the show, have
Speaker 1: an anticoagulant in its saliva, and this is very helpful
Speaker 1: in aiding with blood flow. Usually it's blood flow like
Speaker 1: into the leech so that it can drink your blood.
Speaker 1: It's very useful for the leech, but if you are
Speaker 1: having an issue such as with clotting or in the
Speaker 1: case of surgery where you're grafting skin or reattaching a
Speaker 1: finger or body part, it can be a problem to
Speaker 1: get blood flowing, you know, from your body into this
Speaker 1: new attached flesh or body part. And so leeches are
Speaker 1: actually still used to this day to prevent or treat
Speaker 1: something called venous congestion following some plastic surgeries. So venous
Speaker 1: congestion being like the blood is just not flowing properly
Speaker 1: as it should, and you know, the anticoagulant in their
Speaker 1: saliva is something that can help with blood clotting. And
Speaker 1: in addition to that anticoagulant in their saliva, they also
Speaker 1: excrete antimicrobial, anti inflammatory, and analgesic or painkilling compounds. So
Speaker 1: I do think that there could have been some cases
Speaker 1: that pretty much by accident, they used leeches in a
Speaker 1: way that did help the patient, you know, back in
Speaker 1: the day. But nowadays, you know, doctors aren't just like
Speaker 1: plucking leeches from a nearby pond and slapping them on patients.
Speaker 1: There are like medical grade leeches that are bred and
Speaker 1: kept specifically for medical usage.
Speaker 2: Bread, they went to medical school degrees, they put on
Speaker 2: little lab coats on.
Speaker 1: Them, doctor mister sucky sucky. Yeah, and they're actually approved
Speaker 1: by the FDA, which is h I love that, uh so,
Speaker 1: but you know, I was wondering, like, do they actually work?
Speaker 1: Are we kind of once again getting fooled into putting
Speaker 1: leeches on our body by weirdo doctors? So I've been
Speaker 1: reading the leech medicine literature and suffering through just bad, terrible,
Speaker 1: disgusting medical pictures, so you don't have to. Uh. One
Speaker 1: potential problem with using leeches that I've found is that
Speaker 1: even if these are medical grade animals, they still can
Speaker 1: have bacteria in their saliva. So people on leech therapy
Speaker 1: are also given antibiotics to make sure that they don't
Speaker 1: get infected from the leeches bacteria. Also, you know, despite
Speaker 1: our fun history with bood blood litting, blood loss is
Speaker 1: not great for tissues, so if too much blood is
Speaker 1: lost through leech therapy, it can actually hinder healing. So
Speaker 1: there are actually definite downsides to using leeches. But I
Speaker 1: did read a review of leech use in medicine.
Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna say, like an Amazon review for like leeches.
Speaker 2: This is like sucked just the right amount of blood
Speaker 2: five stars, three.
Speaker 1: And a half stars. Worked really well for letting out
Speaker 1: my blood, but package arrived slightly damaged the problem with
Speaker 1: leech itself. Just the box was a little dented. I
Speaker 1: didn't like that. I love those reviews, so yeah. But
Speaker 1: in these reviews of use of leeches in medicine, do
Speaker 1: find that they are effective in salvaging tissues that are
Speaker 1: at risk of necrosis. So necrosis is tissue death. So
Speaker 1: they have a success rate hovering around seventy to eighty percent,
Speaker 1: which is pretty good. There is some evidence that more
Speaker 1: modern approaches than that simply that more innovative approaches that
Speaker 1: simply mimic the leeches method of action using anticoagulant catheterization,
Speaker 1: which is like inserting like very small tubes. Again, everything's tubes,
Speaker 1: tubes all the way down. That these are more useful
Speaker 1: in certain types of reconstructive surgery. So there is I
Speaker 1: think that we might eventually move away from the leech
Speaker 1: if we can find techniques that don't come with the
Speaker 1: downsides that the leeches have in terms of like bacteria
Speaker 1: and blood loss. But leeches are still definitely on the table.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've got some leeches on my table right now.
Speaker 1: Really I wish, I wish I want a pet leach.
Speaker 1: I don't, but I do, but I don't, But I kind.
Speaker 2: Of cute ears and whisker.
Speaker 1: I could put like a tiny like if I just
Speaker 1: sort of taped a little pair of tidy cat ears
Speaker 1: onto a leach, and I think that'd be cute. I
Speaker 1: have I see I don't remember where this was, but
Speaker 1: I think I saw someone had a pet leach and
Speaker 1: they put like a bow on it, and I feel
Speaker 1: like it's just like a tumbler thing or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was, I don't know, cute in a horrible kind
Speaker 1: of way, but yeah, I think that's the takeaway, right,
Speaker 1: leeches are cute in a horrible kind of way. Joey,
Speaker 1: what's your takeaway?
Speaker 2: My takeaway is I think that we should talk about
Speaker 2: the biggest leeches of all the federal government.
Speaker 1: Just guessing, Wow, funny, when did this get so political?
Speaker 2: Immediately veers into like, I don't know, like the real
Speaker 2: leeches billionaires.
Speaker 1: Reviews from leech Lover fifty seven. When did this show
Speaker 1: get so political? Can we get back to the leeches?
Speaker 2: Pare we get back to the leeches. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I think that. Yeah, this is super interesting. Leeches seem
Speaker 2: very cute. If a leach was if a leech was
Speaker 2: a cat, I would love leeches more. And if a
Speaker 2: cat wanted to drink my blood, oh for sure, let it.
Speaker 2: And uh yeah, leeches are real creepy. And yeah that
Speaker 2: is the extent of my opinion on leeches. They're fine.
Speaker 1: They're fine leeches. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, So also, I will not eat my parents.
Speaker 1: I'm that's a coincidence because I'm not gonna eat my
Speaker 1: parents either.
Speaker 2: Multiple times.
Speaker 1: So onto something that I like to call a little game.
Speaker 1: That was a weirdly constructed sentence, but I'm leaving it
Speaker 1: in weird game. And that game is called Guess who squawk?
Speaker 1: And the Mystery Animal Sound Game. Every week I play
Speaker 1: Mystery Animal sound and you, the guests, and you the listener,
Speaker 1: try to guess who squawking. It can be any animal
Speaker 1: in the world. Uh. Last week's mystery animal sound hint
Speaker 1: was this don't call this little guy Fido, but you
Speaker 1: love digging holes?
Speaker 2: Oh whatever that is?
Speaker 1: It sounds adorable, So, uh, you know, obviously we've got
Speaker 1: two animal sounds going on here. Can you guess both
Speaker 1: of them?
Speaker 2: Okay? One of them is a human, good job? Yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: the other animal? Okay, So this could just be that
Speaker 2: I just love cats so much that I imprint just
Speaker 2: the sound of cats onto everything I hear. So I
Speaker 2: want to say that definitely sounds a little bit yawie.
Speaker 2: Part of me wants to say, either a lynx or
Speaker 2: a carocle.
Speaker 1: Is that your final answer?
Speaker 2: I would say my confidence is thirty.
Speaker 1: But yes, I'm sorry, Joey, You're not going home with
Speaker 1: a million dollars because this is the prairie dog and
Speaker 1: I don't have a million dollars, so you would doubt
Speaker 1: that anyways.
Speaker 2: No, it's the opposite of the opposite of a cat
Speaker 2: a dog a cat.
Speaker 1: Congratulations to Bob and Charlie, Emily M and antib who
Speaker 1: all guessed correctly. Prairie dogs are not dogs. They are
Speaker 1: actually in the squirrel fit family. They are a species
Speaker 1: of ground squirrels. They are found all over North America.
Speaker 1: In Mexico. They are prodigious diggers and they help till
Speaker 1: the soil. They dig up nutrients which helps with top
Speaker 1: soil renewal. There are actually five species of prairie dog
Speaker 1: and they're all highly social. They live in prairie dog
Speaker 1: towns that consist of family groups, and they also kiss
Speaker 1: each other as a greeting. They will stand up on
Speaker 1: their hind legs and just little little mouth, little mouth
Speaker 1: on cheek, mouth on mouth, little Eh. It's very very cute.
Speaker 1: They are adorable. I love them.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's so cute.
Speaker 1: If a prairie dog wanted to suck your blood, would
Speaker 1: you let it?
Speaker 2: Uh? Wait? Would try to kiss me beforehand?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: It does try to kiss humans. I mean, okay, wait,
Speaker 2: is it trying to suck blood through my mouth while
Speaker 2: kissing me?
Speaker 1: Or is it like kiss? It's like kiss?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 1: There? Howdy me? A little prey dug. Maybe he's wearing
Speaker 1: a little cowboy hat and then he's like, hey, can
Speaker 1: I have some of your blood?
Speaker 2: He's wearing a cowboy hat. Absolutely yes, yeah. If it's
Speaker 2: any cute animal that wants to drink my blood, it's
Speaker 2: going to be hard for me to say no.
Speaker 1: So if I put a cowboy like a tiny cowboy
Speaker 1: hat on a leech, would you let it suck your blood?
Speaker 2: In this situation? Does this leech also have whiskers?
Speaker 1: We can we can accommodate that.
Speaker 2: Sure, yes, no, no question, yes.
Speaker 1: All right, onto this week's mystery animal sound. The hint
Speaker 1: this patriotic bird often doesn't get credit for its work.
Speaker 2: So that honestly, wait time, Am I gonna listen to it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Let me play.
Speaker 2: I think I think I already know what it is.
Speaker 2: Come on, Actually, before I hear the sound, I'm gonna say, uh,
Speaker 2: And now I want to hear the sound and see
Speaker 2: if I was right.
Speaker 1: You are absolutely correct. I think you're the first guest
Speaker 1: who has guessed the sound without hearing the sound first
Speaker 1: I am. I am gonna bleep out your answer because
Speaker 1: it must remain a secret for the audience, but I
Speaker 1: will leave in the fact that you are victorious and
Speaker 1: you're going home with one leaches. Yay, okay, okay. So
Speaker 1: here is the sound.
Speaker 2: What's really funny about that specific bird is that oftentimes,
Speaker 2: like for like you know, uh, Native American, you know,
Speaker 2: characters in old westerns and stuff like that, you'll usually
Speaker 2: hear like just this, like you know, an eagle co
Speaker 2: while you know, if the Native character is talkyang or
Speaker 2: something like that. Usually like I'm, you know, a sacred
Speaker 2: medicine man, and like like and they'll show an eagle
Speaker 2: if you heard that sound, but like, eagles do not
Speaker 2: make that sound. Eagles make just more of like a
Speaker 2: really like a baby kind of a like kind of sound. So,
Speaker 2: because eagles don't sound as cool as you think that
Speaker 2: they would sound old, you know, movie directors took redtail
Speaker 2: hawk sounds and just put them over eagles because they're like,
Speaker 2: that feels more like what an eagle would sound.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, They're like this sounds much more majestic than
Speaker 1: the little like weird little like giggle me all that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I'll leave that in so many hints
Speaker 1: you guys this week. So if you think you know
Speaker 1: who is the ghost writer behind the typically what we
Speaker 1: ascribe to eagles, right to be at Creature Feature Pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com with your answers.
Speaker 2: Joey, I just want to say, I just want to say,
Speaker 2: eagles more.
Speaker 1: Proud of you sound like they're exactly why do we
Speaker 1: have to change eagles? I think they're great as is,
Speaker 1: and like you know, it's like we should have a
Speaker 1: Happy feat movie, but for eagles, right. That was the
Speaker 1: thing with the Happy Feet movie. Isn't it like be
Speaker 1: proud of your fit your whole thing, your business.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why yeah, that sounds the right, why not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, Joey, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 1: Oh what are you up to? Just what's what's go?
Speaker 1: What's your vibe? Is it too much blood? Is too
Speaker 1: much blood your vibe?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I feel like my vibe is this morning not
Speaker 2: enough blood. But I'm gonna have a nice cup of
Speaker 2: blood after this. Just really blood up?
Speaker 1: Is it your parents' blood?
Speaker 2: I've already said on the record, Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 2: I just came out with a really good digital series
Speaker 2: called gon Native. It's a series of animated comedy PSAs
Speaker 2: and I'm just like weird my coroaggressions that Native American
Speaker 2: indigenous people deal with on a regular basis. You can
Speaker 2: check all those out at Gonnative dot tv. That's super fun.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, you can follow me on Twitter, Instagram
Speaker 2: and blue You can follow me on Twitter, TikTok and
Speaker 2: blue Sky at Joey Tainment, And you can follow me
Speaker 2: on Instagram at Joey Cliff with like five or six
Speaker 2: eyes because a twelve year old took Joey Cliff with
Speaker 2: one eyes and I've just got a deal. And then uh, yeah,
Speaker 2: so check out my digital series. Watch that and then uh,
Speaker 2: you know, just uh buy a leach and let it
Speaker 2: suck your blood. I'm gonna promote leeches.
Speaker 1: I'm legally required to say that you shouldn't buy a
Speaker 1: leech and let it suck your blood by my lawyer.
Speaker 1: But hey, lawyers, am I right leeches themselves. I'm kidding
Speaker 1: I very much that I.
Speaker 2: Was trying to think of what it's like, what's the
Speaker 2: joke of like a human leech right as federal government billionaires?
Speaker 2: But no, I feel like lawyers is a good except
Speaker 2: for my lawyer. My lawyers greater, you.
Speaker 1: Know what, Like, lawyers have a job to do to
Speaker 1: keep our judicial system afloat, and I think it's weird
Speaker 1: that we're like, hey, they're leeches, so you know, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not. I'm not gonna i'm us unless the
Speaker 1: comparison is that, like, hey, they are helpful in certain
Speaker 1: medical situations, and then then the analogy.
Speaker 2: Works, right, I mean, to be fair, my lawyer does
Speaker 2: drink a cup of blood every.
Speaker 1: Day, So look, you gotta have a little bit of
Speaker 1: blood if you want to remain charismatic and social in
Speaker 1: the courtroom. You gotta have that blood energy, that sanguine
Speaker 1: humor going on there. Well, we've slandered enough people on
Speaker 1: this podcast, I think, so, Hey, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening. And if you're enjoying the show and you
Speaker 1: leave a rating or of you, even you leech lover
Speaker 1: fifty seven who was annoyed that we got too political,
Speaker 1: leave a review, I'll read it. I read all of them, actually,
Speaker 1: and thank you to the Space Cossics for their super
Speaker 1: awesome song XO. Lumina Creature features a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts, or hey, guess what wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows? I don't care, do
Speaker 1: what you want anarchy anyways, Uh, see you next Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches, les leeches. Yeah,
Speaker 2: yep bye, Yeah they are okay,