WEBVTT - Two Primary Suites with Mandy Moore 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.760 Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. I have been a home health 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:07.520 care worker for the last two weeks. I want everyone 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:09.360 to know that I have been in San Francisco with 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:13.120 my older sister Simone, caring for her, attending to her 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.520 bed sores. No, she does have any bed source, but 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.400 I'm hoping to give her some. You've got to roll 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:20.400 her over, she had. I have to roll her over 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.240 every morning after she gets off of me. She had 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.080 back surgery. So my other sissy, Bomber Shoshana, who's a 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.560 registered nurse and has an idea about how to take 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.120 care of people, actually went there for the first two weeks, 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.760 and then I took the last two weeks. And I 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:37.800 have been in San Francisco and I am and my 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:42.239 sister is recuperating, and I'm basically taking my medical practice. 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:46.560 I'm a farm to table guynecologist, is what we've finally discovered. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:48.800 She's like, why do I need a pap swhere every 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.440 single morning? And I'm like, because I'm a doctor and 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:55.279 you love like a little bit of torture. And she's like, 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.480 how many more fucking deliveries are you going to get 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.560 at my house? She doesn't talk like that. I that's 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:01.840 not fair. I'm the one who says fucking all the time. 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:07.160 But I had delivered weights, bigs, small weights, pilates, matt 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:14.320 a pilates ring, a kettle bell, and three pillows, all 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.280 the very heavy things and one light thing. My sister 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.280 is like, you are so fucking high maintenance. I'm like, what, 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:22.840 this is not news to anyone, And she's like, no, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.720 I know it's not. She's like, I'm actually surprised you're 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:27.760 staying here and you didn't order your own fucking bed. 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.920 I was like, believe me, I thought about it. I mean, 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.080 you're just gonna have the comforts of home, kettle bells 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.280 and pillow. And I got to surprise her with my 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.080 big brother Roy We. I flew him in as a 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:40.039 surprise so he could cook for her because we love 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.800 his cooking. And so he's been with me while he 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:45.040 was here for a few days with me and Simone, 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:47.080 and so she was so happy she cried when she 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:50.440 saw him. And he's still he's in Southeast Asia somewhere right. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.840 He's actually Asian now, he has con completely to Asian. 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:58.960 He's transitioned. Yes, he's he's in New Jersey in Noueva, 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.640 Jersey and he is working there. He's waiting for his 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:06.120 Filipino wife to come there and married. He's waiting for 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:08.160 her paperwork to go through so that she could move 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.680 to New Jersey with him. She he's actually living with 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.200 my sister right now, my other sister, Shoshana. We have 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:18.239 a very very incestuous family. I mean, that's great, though. 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.200 Do you guys all like each other enough to stay 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.680 together live together? Yeah, we do like each other. So 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.160 that's nice, and that is a gift. I should say 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.280 that's that should be part of my list every morning. 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.040 I'm grateful for the fact that my family and I 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.400 get along. I mean that's huge. So many people right 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:35.720 in and they're like, I just wish I could have 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:38.280 what Chelsea has with her siblings because you're so close. 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.280 And oh, I also met your sister in law, which 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:42.880 I was confused because I was like, oh, is that 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.600 Brad's brother? And then I was like, sisters in law 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.640 can mean two different things. But she was sweet and 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:53.200 she came with her friend Julie. I think she had 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:55.440 mentioned that we had mentioned her on the podcast, and 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.000 she was pretty excited. Where which show did they come to? 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:01.919 Which should which city were in? Rock At Illinois, Rockford. Yeah, yeah, 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:05.280 that was yes, yeah, yeah. Amanda is awesome and Julie's 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:09.480 her next door neighbor. And Amanda she's had a very 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:13.520 similar transitional period of her life, kind of like you have. 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.040 Hers was sort of due to illness. She had had 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:18.919 a brain tumor seven or eight years ago and had 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.360 surgery and sort of like kept up her very fast 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:26.040 paced lifestyle. She's a nurse practitioner, and then years later 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.600 it recurred and she has changed her whole lifestyle. She's 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:34.240 like sees a shaman and you know, is doing tons 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.640 of meditation. She used to have to take tons of 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:38.760 drugs when she would have her m RI s done, 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.040 and now she just meditates through the whole thing. Like 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.160 it's whild, Like her life has been really transformed in 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.640 a super beautiful way. And she's also brought this sort 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:52.760 of holistic knowledge that she's gained into her nursing practice, 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.880 which is really really cool and it's really wonderful to 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.640 see how her life is transformed. And I love that. 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.280 That's so nice, so inspiring. It's so nice to know 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:04.280 that you can go from having to take so many 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:09.000 drugs just meditating, you know, Seriously, our guest today was 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.960 the star of a little show called This is Us 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:17.360 and she just had a baby, baby number two, and 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.560 she's as singer, she's an actor, and she's a multitude 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:25.600 of things. Please welcome Mandy Moore. And I love that 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:29.320 face of yours, Mandy. I like what You're a double 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:35.159 mother now, double mother. I love it. I've thought of 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:38.560 it that way. How are you doing, I mean, well, 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.200 how are you guys? We're great. This is my co 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:45.160 host Catherine and many. Nice to meet you. Nice to 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.000 meet you, Mandy. I was so happy to have you on, 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:50.920 Mandy because we met briefly at some event who knows 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.800 where they all blend together. But and I realized I 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.560 had never really met you before. No, we haven't. And 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.880 I kicked myself. I was never cool enough or invited 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:01.840 or just it didn't work out to ever be on 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.880 your multiple shows, so I never got to know you 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:07.240 in that sense either. I know, Well, it doesn't matter 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.000 about being cool enough, because there's plenty of uncool people 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:12.080 on a lot of my shows, so that's really not 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:15.440 the criteria. It's usually a matter of what what usually 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.479 would happen would be Publicists would think certain clients wouldn't 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:21.240 be able to handle being on my show, and then 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.400 they thought other clients could handle and just like it 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.320 was it was such an unfair assessment of their own clients, 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.880 you know, like so many people would be like, oh 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.560 no, no no, that's not for our clients. She's not gonna 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:31.960 go on that show. And I'd be like, what do 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:33.640 you think it's going to happen that I'm going to 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:37.240 assault these people when they come and sit is my 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.960 guest on? Like the round table was one element, but 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:42.600 the interview. You don't just go off on somebody when 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:44.240 they come on your show. You actually tried to get 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.720 along with them. Of course, No, I know, I I 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:49.480 think I just I was having a very quiet period 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.719 of my life and therefore just there was no reason 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:53.599 to go on your show. Yeah, and we're here now, 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:55.120 so who gives a show? Here? We are here, we 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.359 are Tell me how are you doing? Because I know 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.919 you just had a baby very recently. He's almost a 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.400 month old. I'm doing well, you know, tired all the things, 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:10.279 but it's really wonderful and I'm enjoying it because I 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:13.920 have a twenty month old little boy. And when I 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.480 had him, I went back to work. Like a month later. 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:18.919 So it's nice to not sort of have anything to 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.720 jump immediately back into and the kind of enjoy this 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:26.200 season of my life as it were. And yeah, so 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.839 I'm that's what I'm doing. I'm right in time for 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:32.400 the holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas. You get to enjoy yourself. 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:37.359 So are those Irish twins I mean maybe technically, Yeah, 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:41.719 Gus was yeah, nineteen months when Ozzie was born, so yeah, 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.359 they're they're very close. That was not planned that way, 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:50.520 but we celebrated and enjoy it even still. And and 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.520 you just wrapped your you were you went on a 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:57.440 tour right before this summer, yeah, which was a terrible 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:01.640 idea to do six months pregnant. It was really a 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.520 lot more arduous, Like I hadn't been on the road 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.320 and on a bus and done that whole life in 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:10.720 fifteen years, and it just it's very different being a 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:14.040 twenty three year old young lady versus being pregnant and 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:17.200 schlepping a toddler across the country. I was I thought, like, 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:20.520 it's this will be easy. It's great. And then your 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:25.640 backstage in some grungy but fun club. That's so much 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.640 fun to play a show in at nine o'clock at night, 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:30.760 but like, not not an ideal environment for a small child. 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:33.560 It was, yeah, it was. It was pretty hard, but 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:34.920 it was great. It was fun to be on the 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.280 road and to play shows. I just yeah, it wasn't 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:40.920 the the ideal circumstance. I wasn't feeling great. Well, it's no, 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:43.320 it's not ideal to be pregnant and performing. I can't 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.200 even imagine what that's like. And it's never ideal really 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:47.680 to be on a bus, you know what I mean. 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.040 Like that is something as you get older, you're like, 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.400 uh no, no, no, no, it is not what it 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.440 was like when I was in my twenties or thirties, 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:59.200 and being on the road is not what it's like 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:01.560 what it was like when I was in my twenties 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.880 and thirties. Well, you're older, you I'm okay, so you're 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:08.360 still in your thirties. Yeah, that's what I thought. How 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:12.040 is the road for you? Well, I mean I love 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:14.160 doing stand up again because I took a really long 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:17.680 break from it for like six years, and so I 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.040 was able to kind of re get you know, I 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:21.720 know you took a long break from it too, because 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.520 you were filming this as us for so many years, 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:27.840 which everybody can watch on Hulu. You know, taking a break, 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:30.679 I find in my life an experience that is always 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:33.480 yields the best results because when you come back, you 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:37.160 have an effervescence and an energy that you know, many 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.440 times we lose when we overdo things and we work 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.520 so much, you know, sometimes we just can't keep that 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.559 kind of level of enthusiasm up for what we want 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.640 to do. And I also was when I was younger. 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:51.480 I just didn't I wasn't as responsible about my fans 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.200 and about my audience. And I do a show one 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:56.640 night ship faced and like not care. You know, I 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.240 was so exhausted all the time that I never I 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.120 didn't know any think about self care or being healthy 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.959 on the road. Obviously, now it's a lot different, so 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.000 I will not obviously, but it is a lot different now, 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.120 so I take a lot better care of myself. But 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.800 I'm still it's still exhausting. I mean, anytime you travel, 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:16.280 it's taxing on your body, right And if you know travel, 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.400 whether you're in a bus, on a private plane, or 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:20.959 on a commercial plane, it's all it all kind of 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:25.520 knocks you out after a while, and you're so vulnerable 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.600 and you're so like you especially, you're so present and 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:33.760 engaged and what you're sort of transmitting to the audience, 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:37.560 like it's it's so emotionally draining as well that I 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.640 don't think there's that same level of awareness when you're young, 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:42.800 and like you said, you're sort of running on fumes. 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:46.600 It it only comes in the practice of self care 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:49.040 and having taken like a step away and taken that 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:53.760 sort of downtime to really learn about yourself. Yeah, I 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.880 think you have to be a lot more intentional now 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:01.200 as a performer, recognizing like I'm going to have this 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.120 clear delineation where I'm authentic and I'm giving people as 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.800 much as myself as I can, but also like at 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.040 the end of the day, I need to preserve and 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.680 protect like some semblance of myself for me, for my family, 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.640 for my loved ones, my friends. You know, absolutely, And 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.560 I think it's like it's it's easier now to like 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:19.680 not go to dinner before the show, you know, to 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.119 take the time and be like, listen, I'm m expending 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.640 a lot of energy because I used to diminish that, 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:26.640 like you always you know how women are, we are 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.720 always like I can do anything, I can do it 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:30.720 all and I'll be fine, and it's like, no, you're not. 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.280 You're not fine. And once you realize that about yourself, 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:37.040 you're like, Okay, it's good to preserve your energy so 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.160 that what you're doing and what you're getting paid to do, 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.960 you're doing the Actually you're coming out as the actual 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.360 best version of yourself and not mailing it in or not. 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.360 How is this tour, since it had been so long 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.439 for you to be since you had been on tour, 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.680 how did this tour feel aside from being pregnant and 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:56.960 obviously not feeling your best. I mean, you basically got 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:58.880 pregnant on your tour. I'm just gonna say it, Mandy, 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.840 she got knocked up on the No No I. I 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:08.000 know I'm a group. That would have made it easier, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.800 but my husband was on the road with me at 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.760 that point. I was like, don't even look at me, 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:19.560 don't touch me. I would say. It was different, kind 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:23.080 of echoing what you said. I know myself better. I'm 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:29.040 more present, I'm more aware of more nervous, I would say, 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:31.720 because I'm aware of like this the stakes now in 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.400 a way that I wasn't before. Although this was still 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.040 a very small tour. It's not like I'm some huge 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.079 pop artist that was going and selling out like arena 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.080 as we were playing cool little theaters and clubs, and 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.600 so there was a real intimacy and connection with like 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:49.360 an audience, like looking out and seeing people's faces in 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.960 a way that I think I used to just not 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.679 gloss over but like whatever would sort of get me 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:59.440 through the show. Now it was like I really was 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:01.760 aware of who was here and why they were here 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:05.080 and what they were digging about certain parts of the show, 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.800 like older music, music from newer records of mine, and 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.160 being able to be on stage with my husband and 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.320 my brother in law who plays drums with me and 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.280 is in a band with my husband, and one of 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.760 my very dear friends playing guitar on the other side 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:23.720 of me. So it's like I really was surrounded by 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:29.480 people that I adore and in awe of as musicians, 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.160 and that was really, really, really different. I've never toured 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:36.319 that way before and probably won't get to again or 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.480 at least for a really long time. And even having Gus, 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.800 having my my child with me was so special. I mean, 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.680 he was asleep long before we played, but he come 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.240 to sound check, so being able to look out and 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.880 he had his little headphones on and still sort of 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.319 unaware of what mom and dad are doing. But one 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.280 day we'll be able to tell him, like, hey, we 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.839 brought you across the country for you know, a month 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.920 and had baby brother and mom's belly and we all 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.480 kind of were doing this crazy endeavor together, and that'll 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.360 be fun to be able to share one day. So 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.000 in that sense, like it was totally worth it and 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.280 so special and I love that, you know, I got 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:17.680 to do fifteen shows and I scratched that itch something 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:19.760 I wanted to do for a really, really long time, 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:23.680 and other work had gotten in the way, and a 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.360 marriage and divorce had gotten the way. Like there was 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.520 so much that sort of happened in my life that 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.720 kind of kept pushing off music for one reason or another. 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.880 And so to finally have this sort of wish fulfillment 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:39.240 of being on stage and it all kind of coming 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.560 together in such a beautiful way, and then had the 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:44.439 wherewithal to like really listen to myself and my body 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:47.400 and say, I don't think this is the best thing 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.439 for me right now. I really need to like take 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:53.320 care of my health and get some rest because, as 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.960 we mentioned, no one really sleeps on a broad tour bus, 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:58.480 and so that was it. Then I just called it 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.560 a day and came home, rested for a couple of months, 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.200 and then had a baby. Seriously, did you have to 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.600 cut that tour short or did you did? I? Oh 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.840 you did. I didn't realize that. Yeah, I cut it 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.200 like short. Um. We we did about half of the 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.599 tour and had like a nice little break where I 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.120 was like, I think this, I think I'm good. I 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.360 think I'm good to sort of push the pause button 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.520 and just be home and we all got COVID. The 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.760 universe was like, and you need to take a break. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.160 Isn't it funny though that wise we get older, we 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:29.080 can make those decisions more responsibly. You don't feel like 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.480 you're letting everybody down. You and know that taking care 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.560 of yourself as paramount to anything else and other people's 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.320 expectations or disappointing people, it's like it's irrelevant, really, you know, 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.640 obviously we don't aim to do that, but you have 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.760 to take and prioritize yourself in a more serious way. 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.280 And I feel like in any other chapter of my 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:50.240 life until now, I definitely would have ignored that little voice. 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.120 I would have said, nope, I'm gonna put everyone else's 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:56.240 like expectations ahead of my own, and I would have 0:14:56.320 --> 0:15:00.240 just like soldered on and it probably would have been mine. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.840 But I feel like I'm a better woman and wife 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.640 and mother and all of the things because I I 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:10.080 sort of listened to that intuition and and took that 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.720 time for myself. So I'm like, yeah, okay, And I 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:16.560 sort of feel like, as women, it's good for us 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.440 to see examples of other women drawing those boundaries and 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.600 delineating between like, Nope, I can only do so much. 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.440 I am human, I'm fallible. I need to listen to 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.400 my myself and and listen to my body. And that's 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:32.360 sort of what I did. And you're, then, I guess, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:36.360 kind of giving other people to give themselves that same permission. Yeah, 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.920 amen to that, Lahai. I mean, you're not Jewish, but 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.880 I am. So I'll just keep saying that, I'll take 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:46.400 off thanks. That's the right answer, I'll take it. So wait, 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.080 can I ask you? I want to ask you, but 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:49.520 I want to make sure you're okay to talk about 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.200 your mom and your dad. When your mom came out 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:54.400 as a lesbian because I was just talking to my 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:56.320 producer Katherine, and she was filling me in and I 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:59.520 was like, Oh, that's so juicy. Tell me what happened. 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:03.400 You caught your mom having an affair? No, not exactly. 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:07.400 So my parents for high school sweethearts and they were 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:10.960 married for just shy of thirty years. And where did 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:14.240 they go to high school? What State at Florida in Orlando, 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.160 and they like, they grew up in Orlando when it 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.400 was just like Orange Groves pre Disney World, and that's 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.120 where we all grew up, my my two brothers and myself. 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:25.280 But you know, I think there was sort of this 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:30.640 point of pride having parents that were still together, sort 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:34.560 of like you know, looking around your friendship landscape and 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:39.320 seeing marriage is falling apart and families sort of diverging, 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.240 and and so it was always this real point of 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.480 pride that my mom and dad were together. And I 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:47.600 think being a young person in the industry and I 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:51.560 love my parents and having this fantastic foundation, like I 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.400 always had one of them on the road with me 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:57.240 or traveling with me, And I think it's why I'm 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:01.360 thirty eight and still have some semblance of a career 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.720 because mom and dad kind of were there to keep 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:05.960 things on the straight and narrow. But all of this 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:11.040 to say, I was about twenty two, I think, and 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.600 at the point of adulthood where I was like very 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:16.040 much living my own independent life. And I remember I 0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:19.360 was recording music in upstate New York and my parents 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:21.280 both came up to visit me, and I could tell 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:24.600 something was weird. My mom play a lot of tennis 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.440 growing up, like all when we were kids, and obviously 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:29.400 then when we got older and left the house. That's 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:34.879 the first sign everybody correct, it can be mom taking 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.440 like a very concerned interested in tennis. So she was 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.200 playing more tennis now that we were all out of 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:44.919 the house, and she had torn her achilles tendon, and 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.080 so she was up visiting me, and she was scooting 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:49.480 around on a little thing with her knee and her 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:53.399 foot hall like bound up healing, and there was just 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.480 something off between my parents. And that was the first 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.159 time I clopped that anything was sort of strange, like 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:01.159 they just had a weird and energy between them. But 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:04.000 of course I never would have expected like they were 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:08.040 separating or my dad had sort of found out. I 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.480 think that my mom was having an affair with a 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:15.959 female friend of hers right before their thirtieth anniversary, and 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:17.959 I think they were sort of in the midst. This 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:20.080 was shortly thereafter, so they were in the midst of 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:23.680 kind of figuring out what life was going to look 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:25.560 like and what was going to sort of unfold from here, 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:29.359 and not telling us children about it yet. And we 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.320 went a couple of months later away for the holidays, 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.399 and that was when things really felt weird. And it 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.359 was me and my younger brother, who's like eighteen months 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:41.120 younger than me, and my mom and dad, and we 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:45.439 were watching like a Christmas movie or something together. And 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.600 I had bought my mom a laptop for Christmas, and 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.199 she'd asked me to set it up for her, so 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:53.280 I was like doing all the things, and I remember 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:57.080 getting to her email and I wasn't I'm not a 0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:01.160 sneaky person just by nature. I'm not really like, yeah, 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:02.960 I wasn't thinking that I was going to find anything. 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.280 And I was kind of mindlessly setting up her email box, 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:09.879 and my eyes kind of drifted to the draft box 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:14.000 as I was like clicking on her emails, and I 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:18.240 just quickly scanned this email that was addressed to myself 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:19.960 and my two brothers, and it was sort of a 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.000 what I've come to realize was like an exercise and 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:26.800 from her therapist of writing to us and telling us 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.040 what was going on and that she had fallen in 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:32.359 love with this woman and was leaving my dad and 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:36.199 how much she loved us. And I just froze and 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:40.560 I quickly closed the laptop and I ran upstairs, and 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:42.960 my my brother, I think, was up there, my younger brother, 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:46.000 and I was like, Kyle, you're not gonna believe this, 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:48.679 Like I just I was setting up mom's computer night. 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.439 But my immediate gut reaction was like, we have to 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.560 go downstairs and confront them and tell them that I 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:56.880 saw this thing. There's no way that I could keep 0:19:56.920 --> 0:20:00.760 the secret now now that I know. And he thankfully 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.359 had a cooler head about it, was like no, no, no, no, no, no, 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:05.800 Like let her do this in her own way, in 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.520 her own time, Like she wasn't expecting you to find 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:11.480 that email. That's probably not how she wants us to 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:14.680 all find out about this, And can't you tell the 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.160 dad is really trying to savor this. This is maybe 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:20.200 like our last vacation as a family, Like let's try 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:23.359 to enjoy it. Let mom do this in her own way. 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:25.560