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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. I have been a home health

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Speaker 1: care worker for the last two weeks. I want everyone

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Speaker 1: to know that I have been in San Francisco with

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Speaker 1: my older sister Simone, caring for her, attending to her

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Speaker 1: bed sores. No, she does have any bed source, but

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping to give her some. You've got to roll

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Speaker 1: her over, she had. I have to roll her over

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Speaker 1: every morning after she gets off of me. She had

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Speaker 1: back surgery. So my other sissy, Bomber Shoshana, who's a

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Speaker 1: registered nurse and has an idea about how to take

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Speaker 1: care of people, actually went there for the first two weeks,

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Speaker 1: and then I took the last two weeks. And I

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Speaker 1: have been in San Francisco and I am and my

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Speaker 1: sister is recuperating, and I'm basically taking my medical practice.

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Speaker 1: I'm a farm to table guynecologist, is what we've finally discovered.

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Speaker 1: She's like, why do I need a pap swhere every

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Speaker 1: single morning? And I'm like, because I'm a doctor and

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Speaker 1: you love like a little bit of torture. And she's like,

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Speaker 1: how many more fucking deliveries are you going to get

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Speaker 1: at my house? She doesn't talk like that. I that's

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Speaker 1: not fair. I'm the one who says fucking all the time.

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Speaker 1: But I had delivered weights, bigs, small weights, pilates, matt

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Speaker 1: a pilates ring, a kettle bell, and three pillows, all

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Speaker 1: the very heavy things and one light thing. My sister

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Speaker 1: is like, you are so fucking high maintenance. I'm like, what,

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Speaker 1: this is not news to anyone, And she's like, no,

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Speaker 1: I know it's not. She's like, I'm actually surprised you're

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Speaker 1: staying here and you didn't order your own fucking bed.

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Speaker 1: I was like, believe me, I thought about it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're just gonna have the comforts of home, kettle bells

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Speaker 1: and pillow. And I got to surprise her with my

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Speaker 1: big brother Roy We. I flew him in as a

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Speaker 1: surprise so he could cook for her because we love

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Speaker 1: his cooking. And so he's been with me while he

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Speaker 1: was here for a few days with me and Simone,

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Speaker 1: and so she was so happy she cried when she

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Speaker 1: saw him. And he's still he's in Southeast Asia somewhere right.

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Speaker 1: He's actually Asian now, he has con completely to Asian.

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Speaker 1: He's transitioned. Yes, he's he's in New Jersey in Noueva,

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Speaker 1: Jersey and he is working there. He's waiting for his

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Speaker 1: Filipino wife to come there and married. He's waiting for

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Speaker 1: her paperwork to go through so that she could move

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Speaker 1: to New Jersey with him. She he's actually living with

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Speaker 1: my sister right now, my other sister, Shoshana. We have

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Speaker 1: a very very incestuous family. I mean, that's great, though.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys all like each other enough to stay

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Speaker 1: together live together? Yeah, we do like each other. So

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Speaker 1: that's nice, and that is a gift. I should say

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Speaker 1: that's that should be part of my list every morning.

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the fact that my family and I

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Speaker 1: get along. I mean that's huge. So many people right

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Speaker 1: in and they're like, I just wish I could have

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Speaker 1: what Chelsea has with her siblings because you're so close.

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Speaker 1: And oh, I also met your sister in law, which

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Speaker 1: I was confused because I was like, oh, is that

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Speaker 1: Brad's brother? And then I was like, sisters in law

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Speaker 1: can mean two different things. But she was sweet and

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Speaker 1: she came with her friend Julie. I think she had

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Speaker 1: mentioned that we had mentioned her on the podcast, and

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Speaker 1: she was pretty excited. Where which show did they come to?

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Speaker 1: Which should which city were in? Rock At Illinois, Rockford. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was yes, yeah, yeah. Amanda is awesome and Julie's

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Speaker 1: her next door neighbor. And Amanda she's had a very

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Speaker 1: similar transitional period of her life, kind of like you have.

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Speaker 1: Hers was sort of due to illness. She had had

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Speaker 1: a brain tumor seven or eight years ago and had

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Speaker 1: surgery and sort of like kept up her very fast

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Speaker 1: paced lifestyle. She's a nurse practitioner, and then years later

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Speaker 1: it recurred and she has changed her whole lifestyle. She's

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Speaker 1: like sees a shaman and you know, is doing tons

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Speaker 1: of meditation. She used to have to take tons of

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Speaker 1: drugs when she would have her m RI s done,

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Speaker 1: and now she just meditates through the whole thing. Like

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Speaker 1: it's whild, Like her life has been really transformed in

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Speaker 1: a super beautiful way. And she's also brought this sort

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Speaker 1: of holistic knowledge that she's gained into her nursing practice,

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Speaker 1: which is really really cool and it's really wonderful to

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Speaker 1: see how her life is transformed. And I love that.

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Speaker 1: That's so nice, so inspiring. It's so nice to know

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Speaker 1: that you can go from having to take so many

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Speaker 1: drugs just meditating, you know, Seriously, our guest today was

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Speaker 1: the star of a little show called This is Us

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Speaker 1: and she just had a baby, baby number two, and

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Speaker 1: she's as singer, she's an actor, and she's a multitude

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Speaker 1: of things. Please welcome Mandy Moore. And I love that

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Speaker 1: face of yours, Mandy. I like what You're a double

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Speaker 1: mother now, double mother. I love it. I've thought of

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Speaker 1: it that way. How are you doing, I mean, well,

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Speaker 1: how are you guys? We're great. This is my co

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Speaker 1: host Catherine and many. Nice to meet you. Nice to

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Speaker 1: meet you, Mandy. I was so happy to have you on,

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Speaker 1: Mandy because we met briefly at some event who knows

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Speaker 1: where they all blend together. But and I realized I

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Speaker 1: had never really met you before. No, we haven't. And

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Speaker 1: I kicked myself. I was never cool enough or invited

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Speaker 1: or just it didn't work out to ever be on

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Speaker 1: your multiple shows, so I never got to know you

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Speaker 1: in that sense either. I know, Well, it doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: about being cool enough, because there's plenty of uncool people

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Speaker 1: on a lot of my shows, so that's really not

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Speaker 1: the criteria. It's usually a matter of what what usually

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Speaker 1: would happen would be Publicists would think certain clients wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to handle being on my show, and then

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Speaker 1: they thought other clients could handle and just like it

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Speaker 1: was it was such an unfair assessment of their own clients,

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Speaker 1: you know, like so many people would be like, oh

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Speaker 1: no, no no, that's not for our clients. She's not gonna

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Speaker 1: go on that show. And I'd be like, what do

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Speaker 1: you think it's going to happen that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: assault these people when they come and sit is my

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Speaker 1: guest on? Like the round table was one element, but

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Speaker 1: the interview. You don't just go off on somebody when

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Speaker 1: they come on your show. You actually tried to get

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Speaker 1: along with them. Of course, No, I know, I I

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Speaker 1: think I just I was having a very quiet period

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Speaker 1: of my life and therefore just there was no reason

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Speaker 1: to go on your show. Yeah, and we're here now,

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Speaker 1: so who gives a show? Here? We are here, we

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Speaker 1: are Tell me how are you doing? Because I know

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Speaker 1: you just had a baby very recently. He's almost a

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Speaker 1: month old. I'm doing well, you know, tired all the things,

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Speaker 1: but it's really wonderful and I'm enjoying it because I

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Speaker 1: have a twenty month old little boy. And when I

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Speaker 1: had him, I went back to work. Like a month later.

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Speaker 1: So it's nice to not sort of have anything to

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Speaker 1: jump immediately back into and the kind of enjoy this

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Speaker 1: season of my life as it were. And yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I'm that's what I'm doing. I'm right in time for

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Speaker 1: the holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas. You get to enjoy yourself.

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Speaker 1: So are those Irish twins I mean maybe technically, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Gus was yeah, nineteen months when Ozzie was born, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're they're very close. That was not planned that way,

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Speaker 1: but we celebrated and enjoy it even still. And and

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Speaker 1: you just wrapped your you were you went on a

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Speaker 1: tour right before this summer, yeah, which was a terrible

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Speaker 1: idea to do six months pregnant. It was really a

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Speaker 1: lot more arduous, Like I hadn't been on the road

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Speaker 1: and on a bus and done that whole life in

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Speaker 1: fifteen years, and it just it's very different being a

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Speaker 1: twenty three year old young lady versus being pregnant and

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Speaker 1: schlepping a toddler across the country. I was I thought, like,

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Speaker 1: it's this will be easy. It's great. And then your

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Speaker 1: backstage in some grungy but fun club. That's so much

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Speaker 1: fun to play a show in at nine o'clock at night,

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Speaker 1: but like, not not an ideal environment for a small child.

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Speaker 1: It was, yeah, it was. It was pretty hard, but

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Speaker 1: it was great. It was fun to be on the

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Speaker 1: road and to play shows. I just yeah, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: the the ideal circumstance. I wasn't feeling great. Well, it's no,

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Speaker 1: it's not ideal to be pregnant and performing. I can't

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Speaker 1: even imagine what that's like. And it's never ideal really

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Speaker 1: to be on a bus, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Like that is something as you get older, you're like,

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Speaker 1: uh no, no, no, no, it is not what it

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Speaker 1: was like when I was in my twenties or thirties,

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Speaker 1: and being on the road is not what it's like

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Speaker 1: what it was like when I was in my twenties

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Speaker 1: and thirties. Well, you're older, you I'm okay, so you're

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Speaker 1: still in your thirties. Yeah, that's what I thought. How

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Speaker 1: is the road for you? Well, I mean I love

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Speaker 1: doing stand up again because I took a really long

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Speaker 1: break from it for like six years, and so I

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Speaker 1: was able to kind of re get you know, I

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Speaker 1: know you took a long break from it too, because

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Speaker 1: you were filming this as us for so many years,

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Speaker 1: which everybody can watch on Hulu. You know, taking a break,

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Speaker 1: I find in my life an experience that is always

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Speaker 1: yields the best results because when you come back, you

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Speaker 1: have an effervescence and an energy that you know, many

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Speaker 1: times we lose when we overdo things and we work

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Speaker 1: so much, you know, sometimes we just can't keep that

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Speaker 1: kind of level of enthusiasm up for what we want

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Speaker 1: to do. And I also was when I was younger.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't I wasn't as responsible about my fans

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Speaker 1: and about my audience. And I do a show one

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Speaker 1: night ship faced and like not care. You know, I

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Speaker 1: was so exhausted all the time that I never I

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Speaker 1: didn't know any think about self care or being healthy

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Speaker 1: on the road. Obviously, now it's a lot different, so

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Speaker 1: I will not obviously, but it is a lot different now,

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Speaker 1: so I take a lot better care of myself. But

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Speaker 1: I'm still it's still exhausting. I mean, anytime you travel,

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Speaker 1: it's taxing on your body, right And if you know travel,

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Speaker 1: whether you're in a bus, on a private plane, or

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Speaker 1: on a commercial plane, it's all it all kind of

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Speaker 1: knocks you out after a while, and you're so vulnerable

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Speaker 1: and you're so like you especially, you're so present and

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Speaker 1: engaged and what you're sort of transmitting to the audience,

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Speaker 1: like it's it's so emotionally draining as well that I

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Speaker 1: don't think there's that same level of awareness when you're young,

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Speaker 1: and like you said, you're sort of running on fumes.

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Speaker 1: It it only comes in the practice of self care

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Speaker 1: and having taken like a step away and taken that

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Speaker 1: sort of downtime to really learn about yourself. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think you have to be a lot more intentional now

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Speaker 1: as a performer, recognizing like I'm going to have this

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Speaker 1: clear delineation where I'm authentic and I'm giving people as

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Speaker 1: much as myself as I can, but also like at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, I need to preserve and

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Speaker 1: protect like some semblance of myself for me, for my family,

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Speaker 1: for my loved ones, my friends. You know, absolutely, And

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Speaker 1: I think it's like it's it's easier now to like

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Speaker 1: not go to dinner before the show, you know, to

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Speaker 1: take the time and be like, listen, I'm m expending

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Speaker 1: a lot of energy because I used to diminish that,

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Speaker 1: like you always you know how women are, we are

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Speaker 1: always like I can do anything, I can do it

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Speaker 1: all and I'll be fine, and it's like, no, you're not.

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Speaker 1: You're not fine. And once you realize that about yourself,

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Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, it's good to preserve your energy so

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Speaker 1: that what you're doing and what you're getting paid to do,

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Speaker 1: you're doing the Actually you're coming out as the actual

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Speaker 1: best version of yourself and not mailing it in or not.

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Speaker 1: How is this tour, since it had been so long

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Speaker 1: for you to be since you had been on tour,

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Speaker 1: how did this tour feel aside from being pregnant and

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Speaker 1: obviously not feeling your best. I mean, you basically got

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Speaker 1: pregnant on your tour. I'm just gonna say it, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: she got knocked up on the No No I. I

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Speaker 1: know I'm a group. That would have made it easier,

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Speaker 1: but my husband was on the road with me at

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Speaker 1: that point. I was like, don't even look at me,

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Speaker 1: don't touch me. I would say. It was different, kind

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Speaker 1: of echoing what you said. I know myself better. I'm

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Speaker 1: more present, I'm more aware of more nervous, I would say,

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Speaker 1: because I'm aware of like this the stakes now in

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Speaker 1: a way that I wasn't before. Although this was still

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Speaker 1: a very small tour. It's not like I'm some huge

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Speaker 1: pop artist that was going and selling out like arena

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Speaker 1: as we were playing cool little theaters and clubs, and

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Speaker 1: so there was a real intimacy and connection with like

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Speaker 1: an audience, like looking out and seeing people's faces in

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Speaker 1: a way that I think I used to just not

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Speaker 1: gloss over but like whatever would sort of get me

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Speaker 1: through the show. Now it was like I really was

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Speaker 1: aware of who was here and why they were here

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Speaker 1: and what they were digging about certain parts of the show,

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Speaker 1: like older music, music from newer records of mine, and

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Speaker 1: being able to be on stage with my husband and

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Speaker 1: my brother in law who plays drums with me and

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Speaker 1: is in a band with my husband, and one of

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Speaker 1: my very dear friends playing guitar on the other side

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Speaker 1: of me. So it's like I really was surrounded by

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Speaker 1: people that I adore and in awe of as musicians,

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Speaker 1: and that was really, really, really different. I've never toured

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Speaker 1: that way before and probably won't get to again or

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Speaker 1: at least for a really long time. And even having Gus,

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Speaker 1: having my my child with me was so special. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he was asleep long before we played, but he come

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Speaker 1: to sound check, so being able to look out and

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Speaker 1: he had his little headphones on and still sort of

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Speaker 1: unaware of what mom and dad are doing. But one

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Speaker 1: day we'll be able to tell him, like, hey, we

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Speaker 1: brought you across the country for you know, a month

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Speaker 1: and had baby brother and mom's belly and we all

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Speaker 1: kind of were doing this crazy endeavor together, and that'll

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Speaker 1: be fun to be able to share one day. So

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Speaker 1: in that sense, like it was totally worth it and

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Speaker 1: so special and I love that, you know, I got

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Speaker 1: to do fifteen shows and I scratched that itch something

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do for a really, really long time,

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Speaker 1: and other work had gotten in the way, and a

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Speaker 1: marriage and divorce had gotten the way. Like there was

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Speaker 1: so much that sort of happened in my life that

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Speaker 1: kind of kept pushing off music for one reason or another.

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Speaker 1: And so to finally have this sort of wish fulfillment

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Speaker 1: of being on stage and it all kind of coming

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Speaker 1: together in such a beautiful way, and then had the

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Speaker 1: wherewithal to like really listen to myself and my body

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Speaker 1: and say, I don't think this is the best thing

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Speaker 1: for me right now. I really need to like take

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Speaker 1: care of my health and get some rest because, as

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Speaker 1: we mentioned, no one really sleeps on a broad tour bus,

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Speaker 1: and so that was it. Then I just called it

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Speaker 1: a day and came home, rested for a couple of months,

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Speaker 1: and then had a baby. Seriously, did you have to

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Speaker 1: cut that tour short or did you did? I? Oh

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Speaker 1: you did. I didn't realize that. Yeah, I cut it

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Speaker 1: like short. Um. We we did about half of the

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Speaker 1: tour and had like a nice little break where I

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Speaker 1: was like, I think this, I think I'm good. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm good to sort of push the pause button

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Speaker 1: and just be home and we all got COVID. The

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Speaker 1: universe was like, and you need to take a break.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it funny though that wise we get older, we

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Speaker 1: can make those decisions more responsibly. You don't feel like

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Speaker 1: you're letting everybody down. You and know that taking care

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Speaker 1: of yourself as paramount to anything else and other people's

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Speaker 1: expectations or disappointing people, it's like it's irrelevant, really, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously we don't aim to do that, but you have

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Speaker 1: to take and prioritize yourself in a more serious way.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like in any other chapter of my

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Speaker 1: life until now, I definitely would have ignored that little voice.

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Speaker 1: I would have said, nope, I'm gonna put everyone else's

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Speaker 1: like expectations ahead of my own, and I would have

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Speaker 1: just like soldered on and it probably would have been mine.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm a better woman and wife

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Speaker 1: and mother and all of the things because I I

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Speaker 1: sort of listened to that intuition and and took that

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Speaker 1: time for myself. So I'm like, yeah, okay, And I

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Speaker 1: sort of feel like, as women, it's good for us

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Speaker 1: to see examples of other women drawing those boundaries and

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Speaker 1: delineating between like, Nope, I can only do so much.

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Speaker 1: I am human, I'm fallible. I need to listen to

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Speaker 1: my myself and and listen to my body. And that's

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Speaker 1: sort of what I did. And you're, then, I guess,

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Speaker 1: kind of giving other people to give themselves that same permission. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: amen to that, Lahai. I mean, you're not Jewish, but

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Speaker 1: I am. So I'll just keep saying that, I'll take

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Speaker 1: off thanks. That's the right answer, I'll take it. So wait,

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Speaker 1: can I ask you? I want to ask you, but

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure you're okay to talk about

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Speaker 1: your mom and your dad. When your mom came out

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Speaker 1: as a lesbian because I was just talking to my

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Speaker 1: producer Katherine, and she was filling me in and I

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh, that's so juicy. Tell me what happened.

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Speaker 1: You caught your mom having an affair? No, not exactly.

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Speaker 1: So my parents for high school sweethearts and they were

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Speaker 1: married for just shy of thirty years. And where did

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Speaker 1: they go to high school? What State at Florida in Orlando,

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Speaker 1: and they like, they grew up in Orlando when it

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Speaker 1: was just like Orange Groves pre Disney World, and that's

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Speaker 1: where we all grew up, my my two brothers and myself.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I think there was sort of this

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Speaker 1: point of pride having parents that were still together, sort

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Speaker 1: of like you know, looking around your friendship landscape and

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Speaker 1: seeing marriage is falling apart and families sort of diverging,

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Speaker 1: and and so it was always this real point of

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Speaker 1: pride that my mom and dad were together. And I

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Speaker 1: think being a young person in the industry and I

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Speaker 1: love my parents and having this fantastic foundation, like I

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Speaker 1: always had one of them on the road with me

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Speaker 1: or traveling with me, And I think it's why I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty eight and still have some semblance of a career

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Speaker 1: because mom and dad kind of were there to keep

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Speaker 1: things on the straight and narrow. But all of this

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Speaker 1: to say, I was about twenty two, I think, and

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Speaker 1: at the point of adulthood where I was like very

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Speaker 1: much living my own independent life. And I remember I

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Speaker 1: was recording music in upstate New York and my parents

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Speaker 1: both came up to visit me, and I could tell

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Speaker 1: something was weird. My mom play a lot of tennis

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Speaker 1: growing up, like all when we were kids, and obviously

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Speaker 1: then when we got older and left the house. That's

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Speaker 1: the first sign everybody correct, it can be mom taking

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Speaker 1: like a very concerned interested in tennis. So she was

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Speaker 1: playing more tennis now that we were all out of

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Speaker 1: the house, and she had torn her achilles tendon, and

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Speaker 1: so she was up visiting me, and she was scooting

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Speaker 1: around on a little thing with her knee and her

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Speaker 1: foot hall like bound up healing, and there was just

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Speaker 1: something off between my parents. And that was the first

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Speaker 1: time I clopped that anything was sort of strange, like

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Speaker 1: they just had a weird and energy between them. But

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Speaker 1: of course I never would have expected like they were

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Speaker 1: separating or my dad had sort of found out. I

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Speaker 1: think that my mom was having an affair with a

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Speaker 1: female friend of hers right before their thirtieth anniversary, and

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Speaker 1: I think they were sort of in the midst. This

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Speaker 1: was shortly thereafter, so they were in the midst of

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Speaker 1: kind of figuring out what life was going to look

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Speaker 1: like and what was going to sort of unfold from here,

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Speaker 1: and not telling us children about it yet. And we

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Speaker 1: went a couple of months later away for the holidays,

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Speaker 1: and that was when things really felt weird. And it

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Speaker 1: was me and my younger brother, who's like eighteen months

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Speaker 1: younger than me, and my mom and dad, and we

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Speaker 1: were watching like a Christmas movie or something together. And

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Speaker 1: I had bought my mom a laptop for Christmas, and

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Speaker 1: she'd asked me to set it up for her, so

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Speaker 1: I was like doing all the things, and I remember

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Speaker 1: getting to her email and I wasn't I'm not a

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Speaker 1: sneaky person just by nature. I'm not really like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking that I was going to find anything.

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Speaker 1: And I was kind of mindlessly setting up her email box,

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Speaker 1: and my eyes kind of drifted to the draft box

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Speaker 1: as I was like clicking on her emails, and I

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Speaker 1: just quickly scanned this email that was addressed to myself

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Speaker 1: and my two brothers, and it was sort of a

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Speaker 1: what I've come to realize was like an exercise and

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Speaker 1: from her therapist of writing to us and telling us

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Speaker 1: what was going on and that she had fallen in

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Speaker 1: love with this woman and was leaving my dad and

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Speaker 1: how much she loved us. And I just froze and

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Speaker 1: I quickly closed the laptop and I ran upstairs, and

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Speaker 1: my my brother, I think, was up there, my younger brother,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Kyle, you're not gonna believe this,

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Speaker 1: Like I just I was setting up mom's computer night.

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Speaker 1: But my immediate gut reaction was like, we have to

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Speaker 1: go downstairs and confront them and tell them that I

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Speaker 1: saw this thing. There's no way that I could keep

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Speaker 1: the secret now now that I know. And he thankfully

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Speaker 1: had a cooler head about it, was like no, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: Like let her do this in her own way, in

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Speaker 1: her own time, Like she wasn't expecting you to find

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Speaker 1: that email. That's probably not how she wants us to

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Speaker 1: all find out about this, And can't you tell the

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Speaker 1: dad is really trying to savor this. This is maybe

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Speaker 1: like our last vacation as a family, Like let's try

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Speaker 1: to enjoy it. Let mom do this in her own way.

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Speaker 1: And I did, but I had to sit for the

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Speaker 1: next like two or three days, knowing what was going

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Speaker 1: on and watching my mom text and I'm like, you know,

404
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Speaker 1: I don't know who she's texting. She's probably texting this person,

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Speaker 1: and I was so angry, but I had to sort

406
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Speaker 1: of like let that simmer, because it's it's two shockers.

407
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Speaker 1: It's like the one shocker and then the second shocker

408
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 1: to find out your mom is gay or you know,

409
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Speaker 1: in love with a woman, and that's shocking, especially when

410
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: you have no idea prior to that. Wow, that is

411
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 1: such a crazy story, Mandy. It's crazy. And my mother

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Speaker 1: is still with her partner who she's been with ever

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Speaker 1: since that day, and it took a lot of time

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Speaker 1: away and therapy to sort of come around to finding

415
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 1: our relationship again. My mom was the closest person in

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Speaker 1: my teenage years at a time when I should have

417
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Speaker 1: been sort of rebelling against my parents and not spending

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Speaker 1: the time that I was sort of forced to because

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Speaker 1: I lived this very strange life and I always had

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Speaker 1: them sort of in my corner and on the road

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Speaker 1: with me. So it's weird to be sitting here as

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Speaker 1: a thirty eight year old woman, like not having that

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Speaker 1: same close connection that I did with my mom when

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Speaker 1: I was younger. And also we don't live in the

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Speaker 1: same state, and you know, we're very different people in

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Speaker 1: that sense. And I often wonder like, even if life

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Speaker 1: had sort of continued down the same path and my

428
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 1: parents never split up or I just wonder like, what

429
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: would we still feel as disconnected as we do today

430
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: or is it just solely in part because you know,

431
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,880
Speaker 1: I really took like my dad's side, if there were

432
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: sides to take, I I felt like I immediately had

433
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: to protect him. And I've always been a daddy's girl anyway,

434
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,719
Speaker 1: but being the only daughter, I just felt like I

435
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: immediately needed to swoop in and like pick up the

436
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: pieces of his shattered life and help him get into

437
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: therapy and make sense of what was going on. And

438
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: I mean, I know now that that wasn't my responsibility,

439
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 1: but I kind of shunned my mom's side of the

440
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 1: story in favor of just solely focusing on my dad,

441
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 1: and that wasn't okay, And that was something I've made

442
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: amends to her for since then. But it's family dynamics

443
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:46,160
Speaker 1: are so wild and ricky, and hopefully one day things

444
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 1: will sort of find better footing. I think that they will.

445
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: I think you're completely aware of why you have those feelings.

446
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: It makes sense to have those feelings, especially as a

447
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: young adult when you're twenty two and your brain isn't

448
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: even fully formed and your emotions are definitely not fully formed.

449
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,360
Speaker 1: And is your dad remarried? Did you hear someone? Okay, yeah,

450
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: they're both like they've both been with their their respective

451
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: partners for like fifteen years now or twelve years or

452
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: something a long time, and they're very happy. And everything

453
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: is amicable between my parents. I mean, I think as

454
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 1: you get older now that like all of us kids

455
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 1: are well into our thirties, their only connection is us

456
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: and there's just not much to sort of keep in

457
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 1: touch about necessarily, which is change. I never would have

458
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 1: thought like, oh, my parents have just gone on these

459
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: two divergent paths, but everybody's happier, and I think like

460
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,439
Speaker 1: they're with the people that they're supposed to be with.

461
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: Two yeah, yeah, I think it's you know, we have

462
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 1: to always practice empathy with our parents and understand of

463
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 1: the pressure that they felt and what they were going

464
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 1: through everyone except for my father, but you know, like

465
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,919
Speaker 1: you you know, to understand that they were struggling and

466
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: she probably stayed in a marriage way longer than she

467
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: wanted to, just to keep you guys happy, you know,

468
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: and to empathize with that. Well, this is a perfect

469
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: jumping off point. Unfortunately, your story is a great jumping

470
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 1: off point for this podcast because we're going to have

471
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: people call zoom in and we're going to give them

472
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 1: life advice, okay, and it's super fun. People with their

473
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 1: own tricky family dynamics. I love it. Well, I'm gonna

474
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 1: lean on you guys, but you yeah, you just pop

475
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: in when you feel passionate about something. Well, we'll take

476
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be right back with Mandy

477
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: and Chelsea. And we're back. We're back. Well, we have

478
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 1: a lot of very interesting colors and an email. Today.

479
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: Our first caller is Becca. She lives in Portland. Dear Chelsea,

480
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: I've been with my high school sweetheart for over twenty

481
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: years and I'm worried I'll never find a way out.

482
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 1: We got married when I was eighteen, he was nineteen,

483
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: and got pregnant with our first son five months later.

484
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: By the time I was twenty four, I had four

485
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: beautiful bull ways, all under the age of five. Her

486
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: kids are seventeen, sixteen, fourteen, and thirteen right now. Oh

487
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: my god. Yeah. We were both raised conservative christian so

488
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 1: getting married young, especially to the person you lost your

489
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: virginity too, wasn't abnormal. We've gone through major changes together,

490
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: like leaving Christianity because we just couldn't stomach it and

491
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: didn't want to raise our kids in it, moving to

492
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: the other side of the country for a more liberal

493
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: and accepting culture, and supporting each other through college and

494
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: career opportunities wherever possible. We've also been each other's primary

495
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 1: support system, like when his mom and my dad died

496
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: within six months of each other while we were dating

497
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 1: in high school. I was happy with our little life

498
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: until we were really starting to become who we are

499
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: now post Christianity. Since then, it has been a personal

500
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: hell now lasting over ten years. We've gone to three

501
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: different marriage therapists, and we're recently separated for a year

502
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 1: in one. Until this past summer, I was so happy

503
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: having my own house and having a really healthy co

504
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: parenting dynamic, as well as a pretty good business partnership.

505
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: He had joined my business right before we separated. After

506
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: spending a year separated, I was ready to start the

507
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: divorce paperwork, and he asked if we could try to

508
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: work at it a little more instead. So I said yes,

509
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: but slowly, and we would still be living apart. After

510
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: a few weeks, the owner of the house I rented

511
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: had an emergency and needed to sell quickly, so I

512
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 1: moved back in with my husband temporarily. Now we're buying

513
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,199
Speaker 1: our family's dream house together, and I feel sick to

514
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: my stomach daily, but I know this is a very

515
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 1: necessary and practical decision that I just have to do.

516
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 1: I want to suck it up and try to wait

517
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: it out until at least are older two have left

518
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,199
Speaker 1: the house, maybe two to five years. But being in

519
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: a relationship I really don't want to be in is

520
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: taking a toll on my mental health. Any advice, Becca,

521
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: god Hi, This is Mandy Moore, our special guest today

522
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: god Career. Yeah, this makes my whole year. I mean,

523
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: we just read your letter and good my heart goes

524
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: out to you. It sounds like, can you okay, First

525
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: of all, breakdown, what's the problem? Why is it hell?

526
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: When you use that that's a strong word. I think

527
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: the best way I can summarize it is just we're

528
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: not compatible. We're really good friends and I have a

529
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 1: ton of respect for him and he has a ton

530
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: of respect for me. But it's like I'm a square

531
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: peg and he's a round hole, and like trying to

532
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 1: fit together isn't working, and it's kind of causing damage

533
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 1: with each of us just as people. So which we

534
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 1: can do that, we can sacrifice for our kids. It's

535
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: just not super healthy, right Is there a lot of arguing? Oh? No,

536
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 1: we don't argue anymore past that. No. I mean, we

537
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: can get into it, but we just choose not to,

538
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: you know. We we're more like conflict adverse at this point. Okay,

539
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: And you're in the process of buying this dream house

540
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: together with both of your money's. How is that working?

541
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 1: So it's my money, but he's a contractor, so he's

542
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: going to fix it up and I'm financing, if that

543
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: makes sense. Okay, And you made that decision because you

544
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 1: wanted just to provide your kids with a dream house. Yes,

545
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: And it helps us do a really good exit in

546
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 1: like five years after we sell it, so it's it's

547
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: super practical. Okay, okay, is there a way for you

548
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: to live separate lives in this house that, especially if

549
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: you're building it or renovating it or doing something where

550
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: you you at least feel a little bit more comfortable

551
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: to have some semblance of independence. Well, that's what I'm

552
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: trying to figure out, because I think we're both open

553
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: to that. But it's hard to not get sucked into

554
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: the everyday life of everything with everyone. I mean, if

555
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: we're living like the year that we lived separately, we

556
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: both grew so much, but it was because we each

557
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: had a quiet house once a week. So us all

558
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: being together, you just you know, it's a big family

559
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: and we you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You

560
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: don't want to feel like, okay, guys, go away. You

561
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: can't mean me right now. So it's like trying to

562
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: find a strategy and a structure to get through this

563
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: time period is kind of what I'm trying to figure out. Okay,

564
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: So that's good to know. So first of all, it's

565
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: not You're not in some abusive situation where you're arguing

566
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: on a daily basis or being too in a disrespectful way.

567
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: So okay, So it's this is okay. So I think

568
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: it's a huge opportunity for you to create a completely

569
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: like Gwyneth Caaltro did with conscious uncoupling. You can create

570
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: a new set of ideas for how your family is

571
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: going to get through this next period of time. And

572
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: complete honesty with your children and your husband is the

573
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: most respectful way to do that and with them about

574
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: what you guys are planning to do. And I think

575
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: sitting down with your husband and figuring out can you

576
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: have your own bedroom and he have his own bedroom

577
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: in this new house? Right? We could get to that eventually.

578
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: That could be a dream. I did say that like

579
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: months ago, if I ever was to live with someone

580
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: ever again, I went to primary suites. I never want

581
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: to stare at bed with a guy ever again, unless

582
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: you know I need to, unless it's an emergency for

583
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: for certain occasions, and then you gotta get out. I

584
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: want to read my book. I want. I loved going

585
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: to bed early. It was amazing for the first time. Listen,

586
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: you're talking to the choir. I love sleeping by my

587
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: fucking self, and I love going to bed at eight o'clock.

588
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: I can't even tell you how much I loved amazing.

589
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,719
Speaker 1: I know. So that's like the light at the end

590
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: of the tunnel for me, just in my own bed,

591
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,239
Speaker 1: Like if I had that, i'd be I'd be pretty good, honestly. Well,

592
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: then you need to get that. That's gonna be a

593
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: part of the deal moving forward. Seriously, the standards are

594
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: low here. We just need to get our separate bedroom. Yeah, seriously,

595
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: if that look how happy you are even talking about it?

596
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: I know, well, and that's why I wrote it, because

597
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well, if anyone will know what

598
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: to do with Chelsea, Okay, So listen, you need to

599
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: set it up. You have to have a conversation with

600
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: your husband and say, listen, I'm really looking forward, not

601
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: dreading this new period of time that we're going to

602
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: have with our family. Obviously, your kids are the most

603
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: important things to both of you, Otherwise you wouldn't be

604
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: revisiting your marriage in the first place. So, but you

605
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: have to make it very clear to him, because you

606
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: don't know, giving yourself enough of the space within this

607
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: marriage may make you want to be in the marriage

608
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: for a longer period of time, even after your kids

609
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: are gone. I know that doesn't sound palatable in this moment.

610
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: But what you need is space. We all need it,

611
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: you know. And I think when we feel crowded and

612
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: we feel we kind of sometimes feel suffocated by our

613
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: families and by our husbands. And this is like a

614
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: perfect opportunity to try a different dynamic within your family

615
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: and have him respect that and say this is how

616
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: it's going to be best for me to move forward.

617
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: You're in your room, I'm in my room. We're going

618
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: to operate as a family, and I want you to

619
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: ask for what you need and I'm going to ask

620
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: for what I need. Yeah, I think that all makes

621
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: perfect sense. So how do you help not get into

622
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: that code dependency kind of thing? But I think a

623
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: lot of couples and families can do, especially if you're

624
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: in each other's space, just not identifying your own needs anymore,

625
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 1: because like your needs become their needs and you can't

626
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: even tell the difference. Does that make sense? Yeah, I

627
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: think it makes sense. And I think listen. Codependency is

628
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: something that everybody experiences every time you're in a relationship,

629
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: and it's it's it's I know it's can be such

630
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: a dirty phrase, but it's not. It's what happens when

631
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: people are in a relationship, but if you want to

632
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: get your independence back, that involves and requires a constant

633
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: conversation about like what the parameters are where you know

634
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: you should use this as an experimental couple, like Okay,

635
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: let's do this for six months and then we'll we'll

636
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: sit down and discuss is this working for you? Is

637
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: this working for me? What could be better for you?

638
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: What could be better for me? Whether or not you

639
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: guys want to continue to have sex with each other,

640
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: whether or not you guys want to be involved in

641
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: each other's lives and your each other's social circles. How

642
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: do you want to handle all of that? Who's going

643
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: to handle the kids, and who's in charge of car pooling,

644
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: who's in charge of food, who's in charge of this

645
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: and that and all the other things that come along

646
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: with children. Luckily that I don't know about, but I think,

647
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I think you have a

648
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: huge opportunity to have a really healthy relationship moving forward

649
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: with your husband, and who knows what it could spark,

650
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: because as long as you're taking care of yourself, you're

651
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: not gonna be so resentful and you're not going to

652
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: be so upset about the situation that you're living in. Yeah,

653
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: And I also want to say, like, who says you

654
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: can't have a night off. Maybe it's not something you

655
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: tell your kids like I need a night off from you,

656
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: but they're teenagers. Maybe there's one night a week that

657
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: you tell your husband like this is your night with

658
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: the kids, and maybe it's Fridays and my night with

659
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: the kids of Saturdays, and we each go to our

660
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: own thing that night, so that he can have a

661
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: little freedom as well, you can have some freedom. Did

662
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: you ever see that show Splitting Up Together? Is that

663
00:33:56,360 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: with uh Jenna Fisher and Oliver Hudson And we have

664
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: had both of them on the show. But it's great.

665
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 1: They make a little bachelor pad in the backyard out

666
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 1: of the garage to have continuity for the kids. The

667
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: kids stay in the house and then each week the

668
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 1: parents split off, like they split it up, they switch off,

669
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: I should say, but it's kind of what we're talking

670
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: about here. I think I saw one episode of that,

671
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: maybe like five years ago. Maybe to all of this.

672
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: I love I love that idea. It's I guess a

673
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: part of me is like when my kids were at

674
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: their dad's house, I didn't feel like they could ever

675
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 1: see that as rejection because they still saw me a

676
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: little bit on those weeks, but to see me in

677
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: the house and doors locked, and I guess they just

678
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: gotta get over it. He can take them out also,

679
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: like he can take them out to dinner. Yeah, I

680
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 1: think listen, everyone's codependent anyway. I think that language is

681
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: kind of unhelpful sometimes, you know, Katherine, you're you want

682
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 1: to consider you and Brad codependent. I mean at some point, yeah,

683
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 1: what they say is like interdependent is the healthy version

684
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 1: of that, But absolutely I can't do anything without him. Mandy,

685
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: what about you and your husband or do you feel

686
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 1: like you're interdependent? I don't know, that's a good question.

687
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a much healthier relationship now

688
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: than I have been in the past, But I do

689
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: feel I do feel somewhat. I mean, it's hard to

690
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: be in a romantic relationship with somebody and not feel interdependent,

691
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: like it's you just become you know, And I just think, listen,

692
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: I think what you really it sounds like with you

693
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: when you because you're talking about your kids and your

694
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,839
Speaker 1: husband and kind of the same vein you need time

695
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: to yourself and that's something. Children respect boundaries. I know

696
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 1: you're a mother and there's a huge responsibility that comes

697
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: with that, but children respect boundaries, and you're also setting

698
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: a great example by you know, placing those boundaries, you know,

699
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: for them, so when they're adults and they're dealing with

700
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: their relationships with their children and significant others, they can

701
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: also behave in a respectable manner. And so you saying,

702
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: like Saturday nights, i'm off or from this period of time,

703
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: even for this one hour each day, I need for

704
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: myself in my room. Whatever you need is okay to

705
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 1: ask for you know, understanding that these are still children

706
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: and that you're their mom, and I think you're gonna

707
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 1: feel a lot healthier and a lot more optimistic, you know,

708
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: about your situation, instead of thinking that you're living in

709
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: some sort of hell, because you're not. This isn't hell.

710
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: You know, it's just not your most ideal situation. But

711
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 1: you can make it one. Yeah, okay, okay, great, great, Well,

712
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: you know, keep us posted, hit us up in like

713
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,400
Speaker 1: six months and let us know what's going on and

714
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: how it worked. And if you've got the second bedroom, yes,

715
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna get that second bedroom. That's a prerequisite.

716
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: You have to that's a man that this is a mandate. Yeah,

717
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 1: not negotiable. Okay, okay, and good luck with your new house.

718
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Nice to

719
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: meet you. Back up meet you. Well, that's not hell.

720
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not you know what I mean? Like

721
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 1: hell is Iran? That's hell. So I mean, isn't it funny? Though?

722
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: Oh that looks good. What are you drinking? Lemon water?

723
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: Coconut water? I could see there was a hue in

724
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: it I liked. I'm very water sensitive because I hate

725
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: water so much that I have to have flavors. So

726
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: whenever I see anything in water, I'm like, whoa, what what?

727
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: What's the name some electroclight powder or something? Oh? Absolutely,

728
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 1: water is so boring. Anytime I'm on a plane and

729
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: they hand me like a little room temperature bottle of

730
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 1: Dasani water, I want to throw it right out the window.

731
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: Jasania is garbage. Dasani is literally just like tap water.

732
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 1: It's made by Coca Cola, so of course it's garbage. Yes,

733
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 1: I thought that was going to be a much more

734
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 1: depressing set of circumstances. I did too, just literally needs

735
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: like an hour to herself and her own room. I

736
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 1: was like, you're getting a new house. This seemed easy, Yes,

737
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: And from there, you know, like Chelsea said, is an

738
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: investment opportunity and they can have that plan and be

739
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,720
Speaker 1: on their way out in a few years. I'm excited

740
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 1: to see what her life looks like to once the

741
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: kids all are grown up and out of the house,

742
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: because she was such a young young mother. Yeah, yeah,

743
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: she's going to reclaim herself in this next chapter. That's

744
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: so much to look forward to totally. And it's also

745
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: too messy, like to move out and then move back

746
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 1: in and then move out again. It's like that is

747
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: very disruptive, even though the circumstances were, you know, prevented

748
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: anything else from happening. Maybe, but it would be so

749
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: disruptive for the kids. You know, that's so confusing and

750
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: unfair to them. And at a certain point you do

751
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: have to be the parent when you are one, you know. Yeah,

752
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: what else do we have? Catherine? Who's name? Well, our

753
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: next caller is Carly. Carly says, dear Chelsea. I'm a

754
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: twenty eight year old female that works as a freelance

755
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: video production project manager. Hiring crew, managing schedules and budgets, etcetera.

756
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 1: My work and income is steady. My income is not

757
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,479
Speaker 1: as high as I wish it was, but I still

758
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: have enough to live and be adult it sometimes. I

759
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: also love the flexibility that being a freelancer provides. The

760
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: problem is I've been working in the same lane for

761
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: six years now, and I haven't really felt much growth

762
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 1: in my career, in the path, or in my income.

763
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: I have a lot of anxiety around feeling financially stable,

764
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 1: but I'm also so exhausted from worrying about it. Worrying

765
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 1: about money is the exact reason my parents got divorced,

766
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: and I can feel it having an effect on my

767
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: relationship as well. I don't love what I do, but

768
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: I don't know where else to turn. I can see

769
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: a future where I'm a successful business owner, but I

770
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 1: can't figure out a path there or what it looks like.

771
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: I know I have the skills to do something more,

772
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: but I feel stagnant and lost when it comes to

773
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: my work life. So how do I stop worrying so

774
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: I can kick start my future and really start building

775
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 1: something I'm proud of? Thank you? Carly, Hi, Carly, Hi,

776
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: Carly Hi, Carly, how are you Hi. We have Mandy

777
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: Moore here today as our special guest. I mean, nice

778
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: to meet you, to thank you guys for having me.

779
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, we're happy to talk to you. So you

780
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: freelance mostly. I like your skis in the background. Thank

781
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: you for that extra touch. You're welcome. I was just

782
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 1: scrolling through Instagram. Stay where the most snow has been

783
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: so far? I was like, I've got a lot of snow.

784
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm in Evergreen, Colorado. But anyway, Yes, I freelance. I

785
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: have four study clients and so I have steady income.

786
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: But I just feel like I don't know what the

787
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,439
Speaker 1: next step is. I don't know where to go from here.

788
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,919
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily love what I do, and I feel

789
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: like if I loved what I did, the money would follow.

790
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: And it's just it's exhausting. It's constantly just spiraling in

791
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: my brain all the time. And you know, my partner

792
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: doesn't love when I'm constantly worried about the same thing

793
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: in circles and and I just want to feel like

794
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm working towards something mm hmm. And what is your

795
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: line of work? Video production? I work a lot with

796
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: ad agencies, so we do a lot of commercials and

797
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: social media ads and stuff like that. Okay, and you're

798
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: not passionate about it, No, not really. I mean I

799
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 1: like the project management aspect of it, and I know

800
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: I'm good at what I do. I just I don't know.

801
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,439
Speaker 1: I don't feel aligned with with the work. But would

802
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 1: you feel aligned with doing like video managed, like that

803
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: kind of video management for something other than another subject

804
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: since you have that skill set potentially? Yeah. And I

805
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: try and reach out to as many people as I

806
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: can outdoor stuff and surfing magazines and everything in and

807
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: um yeah, just nothing seems to come to fruition. And

808
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: I think it's just because I'm not my heart's not

809
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: in it. Mm hmm, Okay. I do kind of wonder.

810
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: So you say you like the project management portion of it,

811
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,760
Speaker 1: but it's a lot running around, like you're basically running

812
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: your own business, but you are also the technician in

813
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: your business, so you're the person going out and filming,

814
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: you're on set every day. I wonder if you may

815
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: be at a point in your career where, rather than

816
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: find something totally different, it's time to level up, so

817
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: where you are hiring somebody underneath you as subcontractor to

818
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: go out and actually be the technician who's actually doing

819
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: the work, and you are building a business because project management,

820
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: that's what building a business is all about, is overseeing things,

821
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: making sure people get where they need to be, that

822
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: things get delivered on time and all that sort of thing.

823
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,359
Speaker 1: Is that somewhere where you see yourself in the future. Yes,

824
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: I've definitely thought about that, and I think that would

825
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: be amazing. I just don't know if I'm into video

826
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 1: production anymore. I don't know it's a good thing, Like

827
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: I just it's again like that's where my skill set is,

828
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: and that's where I feel like I should be. But

829
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 1: I want to try something new. Maybe there's some other

830
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 1: path for me where I can use that that same

831
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: skill set and still be outside and not necessarily behind

832
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 1: my laptop all day totally, which I also understand is

833
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: part of working too. What are you interested in doing? Like,

834
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: what do you like to do outside? Ski? What are

835
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: you passionate about? Yeah, I live in the mountains, so

836
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 1: I'm outside a lot, just working like on our property,

837
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 1: like chopping wood and skiing and and stuff like that,

838
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: and so I love that kind of stuff and that

839
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: is definitely like what I look forward to after work

840
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: and on weekends and stuff like that. We have a dog.

841
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,839
Speaker 1: I thought about my grandma things I should rescue animals.

842
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know how I could make a

843
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: career out of all of that, though, especially when I'm

844
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: worried about financial stability. Well, I mean, what if you

845
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: split up what you're doing, Like, what about if you

846
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: love being outside? What about because I mean, I know

847
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 1: a ski guide you're not going to be be making

848
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: ridiculous amounts of money, but it combines two things that

849
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: you really love, which is earning money and skiing. What

850
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: about doing something like that as a supplemental thing so

851
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,439
Speaker 1: that you can kind of start to figure out what

852
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 1: will work in the future, you know what I mean.

853
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: I think if you if you don't have to work

854
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: like a hun your percent in this one field that

855
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: you're kind of over, and you start giving yourself a

856
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: little bit more space to enjoy the work that you're

857
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: doing while you're still making money. I know, ski guides

858
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: don't make tons of money, but you know, you could

859
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: be a private ski guide and make a decent amount

860
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: of money with tips and everything, if you know, if

861
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: you're a my ski guy you'd be making a lot

862
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 1: of money because I love that ship, you know. I mean,

863
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 1: what about doing something like that and kind of splitting

864
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: your time between the two things more important before we continue,

865
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 1: I think the negative conversation you're having about finances is

866
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: having a deltarious impact on your whole vibe. Right when

867
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 1: you have a negative thought pattern and cycle of thoughts,

868
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 1: you have to understand you're here because you got yourself here.

869
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: You've made it this far, so you could depend on

870
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 1: yourself worrying and worrying and worrying just grows an issue

871
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: and it makes it bigger. So I really need you

872
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,919
Speaker 1: to either start meditating, start writing the gratitude list every

873
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 1: single morning when you wake up, or start saying positive

874
00:44:56,480 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: affirmations to yourself. Because these things, while they sound silly,

875
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: they change your energy level, They change your vibe. So

876
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: once you practice, you put into practice. Do you have

877
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 1: any practices like either of those three things I just mentioned. Yeah,

878
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,319
Speaker 1: I do try to meditate quite a bit lately, I've

879
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: kind of gotten away from it, but will try harder. Yes,

880
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: I should try. Don't try do it. I'm telling you

881
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: it will make a difference. It will make a difference

882
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: in your frequency and the vibes you're putting out. We

883
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: get into negative thought patterns. That doesn't mean you're going

884
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 1: to have these thought patterns forever there. Nothing is permanent.

885
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. So if you could

886
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: just keep that in mind, this feeling of being broke

887
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: all the time is not permanent either. It's temporary. You

888
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 1: have so much going for your beautiful person, you have

889
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: a partner, you seem like, you love the outdoors. It

890
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 1: gives you so much joy, Like there's all these great

891
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: things that are already happening in your life and this

892
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 1: is just one one aspect of it that isn't where

893
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: it needs to be right now. And when you change

894
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,919
Speaker 1: the way you think about things, things start to happen

895
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: in a different way in your life, and opportunities will

896
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: present themselves that maybe weren't there before. Yeah, thank you.

897
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: It's a great point. Yeah, and I think the financial

898
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: stuff too, Like Chelsea said, it is kind of all

899
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 1: in your head. You've mentioned like I have enough to

900
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 1: live on, but I'm so stressed about money, and that

901
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: is something that can be reframed offline. I'll get your address,

902
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: but I'm going to send you a couple of books.

903
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: One is You Are a Badass, which will help you

904
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: reframe a lot of things and maybe start thinking outside

905
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: of the box of what your career might look like,

906
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: what you love to do. And the other one is

907
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: the sequel, You are a bad as at making money,

908
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 1: And that for me was so helpful and like reframing

909
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: how I thought about money, how I thought about my

910
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: relationship to money, what it means, because at the end

911
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: of the day, it's just numbers, but it means so

912
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: much more in our minds, Like it's this big looming thing,

913
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:47,720
Speaker 1: and when you get a handle on how you feel

914
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: about it, things do start to change. Thank you. Yeah, Mandy,

915
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: I know you had sort of a very big, scary

916
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: career transition. Is there any wisdom you want to share

917
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 1: about like what you through? No, I mean, I I'm

918
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 1: just in all listening to you, Chelsea, like off the

919
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 1: top of your head rattle off fantastic advice. I mean,

920
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 1: I'm sure this is why you have this very podcast.

921
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I kept hearing you talk about the money

922
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:19,720
Speaker 1: aspect of things too, and it's like just finding finding

923
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 1: your passion and finding something to sort of bring a

924
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 1: little bit more joy into your world. Like, I feel

925
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: like the money conversation becomes less of a thing and

926
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 1: it will have less relevance and presence in your life.

927
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: It's just echoing what you guys said. I love that

928
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 1: idea though, of finding a way to create that balance

929
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: of your You still have your responsibilities, you're really good

930
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: at your at your job, but like maybe incorporating the

931
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 1: the skiing or bringing the outdoor components into your life

932
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 1: and finding a way to make money doing that, and

933
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 1: it's sort of like the best of both worlds and

934
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: it will maybe help bring whatever the next transition and

935
00:47:55,560 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: chapter of your life and career maybe a help sort

936
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 1: of bring it into focus a little bit sooner. And

937
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,919
Speaker 1: just meeting people too might be helpful. Here's meeting new

938
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,439
Speaker 1: people like you know, trail guiding, mountain biking, hiking, all

939
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 1: of the things that sound like they're up your alley

940
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: in Colorado. I mean, everyone in Colorado's into all of

941
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: that stuff. So it seems like there's a lot of

942
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: outlets for you. But I also would recommend you know,

943
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: sit down with yourself each morning and write the things

944
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: that bring you joy, you know, what makes you happy,

945
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: and write those so that they're louder in your mind

946
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: than the thoughts that are negative. Be grateful about all

947
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: of the things that you do appreciate. You know, the

948
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 1: fact that you love to chop wood, the fact that

949
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: you love to be in the outdoors. You know, those

950
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: are all gifts. And just keep thinking about that, and

951
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 1: I think your conversation with yourself will start to change

952
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 1: just by you rehbituating yourself. Yeah. Also start putting all

953
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,439
Speaker 1: of this on TikTok, because I follow like three people

954
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: on TikTok, and one of them is just like a

955
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: woman who was a homesteader, farmer lady, it's just chops wood.

956
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: It's amazing a minute, people loveld it. Definitely. You have

957
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: an Instagram account, start with that. That's so funny. You

958
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: know this. This woman said to me my makeup artist

959
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: in New York. She's just doing my makeup yesterday and

960
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: she goes, I had this vision of you with a

961
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,240
Speaker 1: female would chopper. I go, what, And now I'm talking

962
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: to you. I'm like, I go on my lesbian now

963
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: and she goes, I don't know, it was so weird.

964
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: Maybe she's really yeah, it really was, but she meant romantically,

965
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: so I don't know. I mean, so that would be

966
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: a big leap from this podcast to us dating. But

967
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's funny and maybe she is like happening.

968
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 1: It's true. You're welcome to come chopping with us anyway.

969
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: You know, just do those things, take them into account,

970
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: and seriously, just start doing these little practices because they

971
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: make a difference in each person's life. And I can

972
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,919
Speaker 1: attest to it. I've had major transformations just by really

973
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,760
Speaker 1: listening to myself and trying to turn those negative thoughts

974
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: upside down. And you know, money couldn't have your whole

975
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: life to worry about that, so worry about your happiness first.

976
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for calling in.

977
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: Of course, let us know how everything goes. Okay, Well,

978
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 1: nice to meet. Good luck with your TikTok account. Thanks

979
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 1: look out for that. Okay, bye bye bye. I love her.

980
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: It's hard to tell somebody it's like, hey, become a dentist.

981
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:27,919
Speaker 1: It's hard to tell somebody like what to do when

982
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: they're in that situation without knowing that much about a person.

983
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: But also, like twenty eight is that time in your

984
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: life where it's like, what the funk am I doing?

985
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 1: You know, lots of transitions. Yeah, well let's take a

986
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 1: quick break and we'll be right back to finish up

987
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: with Mandy and Chelsea. And we're back, Katherine, which career

988
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 1: when you were mentioning Mandy's career transition, which one were

989
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 1: you talking about? I know, Mandy you had mentioned before

990
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: you made the jump to this as us it was

991
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,439
Speaker 1: like you were a sort of at your wits end.

992
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? I mean I was like in

993
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: a really toxic relationship and it's sort of made me

994
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 1: feel and my life feels so small, and I think

995
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: I had been working from such a young age and

996
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 1: feeling like I had let the machine sort of cool down,

997
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: and trying to like start that back up again what

998
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: it felt impossible, and I felt like I just kept

999
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: hitting every wall, and I thought like maybe it was

1000
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: the universe telling me, like you've had your time and

1001
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: be grateful for it. Now it's time to move on

1002
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: and figure out what you want to do next and

1003
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: maybe go back to school. Made move back to Florida,

1004
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: and so I had a lot to kind of unpack

1005
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 1: and fight through to sort of figure out and quiet,

1006
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: like you said, sort of quiet the negativity and figure

1007
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 1: out like how to just keep putting one ft in

1008
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: front of the other. So it did feel like I'm

1009
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: major point of transition in life. And isn't that so funny? Though?

1010
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,799
Speaker 1: It's so it's like the darkest before the dawn, and

1011
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: then you get this huge show that is just like

1012
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: a jug or not for a society, and and you

1013
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 1: were in that situation thinking that way about yourself. Yeah,

1014
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,280
Speaker 1: it was like this, I'm no one likes me, I'm

1015
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 1: not a good actor. I can't like I would audition

1016
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: for things, and it was just like nothing was firing

1017
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: on any cylinder whatsoever. And so it was difficult to

1018
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 1: go sort of reckon with myself, like is this something

1019
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: I'm even passionate about anymore? Am I really any good

1020
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: at this? Like? Have I had my moment in the

1021
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: sun and again just be grateful for it and sort

1022
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: of bow out gracefully. There was like so many directions

1023
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: I sort of could have gone and and then lo

1024
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: and behold, that particular job just sort of came into

1025
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: my life and changed everything. But I think I also

1026
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: had done a lot of the work in order for

1027
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:56,439
Speaker 1: that opportunity to sort of present itself. I can still

1028
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 1: relate to that. I can still relate to all of

1029
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 1: those feelings, and it's so important for us to talking

1030
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 1: about that because people look at us like we have

1031
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 1: all this success and all this you know, everyone's a

1032
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:08,359
Speaker 1: human being. Everybody has self doubt. Everybody thinks like, oh

1033
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,800
Speaker 1: my god, is it's my time in the sun over?

1034
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: Like I've had that exact thought at different parts of

1035
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 1: my career so many times, going I guess that's just it,

1036
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 1: and it's like no, when you know what your purposes

1037
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: and you know what your purposes and you know Catherine,

1038
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 1: what your purpose is, it's like you're never done. There

1039
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: are just different phases to what is happening, and sometimes

1040
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel great or it doesn't feel but those

1041
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: are usually just young thoughts that creep up and we

1042
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 1: have these kinds of insecurities and then right before you

1043
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: know it, you get another confirmation that you're exactly where

1044
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be and you're doing exactly what you're

1045
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 1: meant to be doing. Yeah, And those moments of self doubt,

1046
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: like I've come to realize, like those moments where just

1047
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 1: the natural ebb and flow of life of like the

1048
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 1: wave cresting and then falling back into it's all part

1049
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: of it. Those moments of downtime can be used as

1050
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 1: moments reflection and fuel you for the next ride wherever

1051
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 1: you're going after you know what I mean, Like I

1052
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: I've I've come to sort of try to view it,

1053
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,399
Speaker 1: I guess in that context. Yeah, my friend once said

1054
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 1: something to me. There's a time for planting, and then

1055
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: there's a time to harvest. Don't forget about the time

1056
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: to plant, like that is as valuable asters Yeah, and

1057
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 1: we get and when things get quiet, it's a it's

1058
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 1: another growth spurt. But we don't always see it that

1059
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 1: way until it's over and then we go, oh oh,

1060
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 1: so how much more powerful would it be to have

1061
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:35,720
Speaker 1: the growth spurt and know you're going through the growth spurt? Yeah? Well,

1062
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: as we wrap up, Mandy, is there any advice that

1063
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,919
Speaker 1: you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Yes, I'd love

1064
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 1: to hear both of you. I'm constantly asking myself this question,

1065
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 1: But I wonder what advice you would have in terms

1066
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,919
Speaker 1: of what are some small ways that both of you

1067
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,399
Speaker 1: find to bring a little bit of extra joy into

1068
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: your daily life. Well, I just started writing that grated

1069
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 1: you thing every morning. My friend told me to do

1070
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: it for twenty one days, and I've passed the twenty

1071
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 1: one days. And now I got home last night and

1072
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: I did it at night, and then I did it

1073
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,480
Speaker 1: again this morning. And I have to say that, like

1074
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: my level of joy has increased significantly since I started

1075
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 1: writing that list, and that's a new thing for me.

1076
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 1: But I am just joyful because when you have to

1077
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: write what you're grateful for your I'm like my bed

1078
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 1: room service, Like what am I? You run out of things?

1079
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: But then it just it's a such a reflection of

1080
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 1: how great things are, you know. And I guess maybe

1081
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 1: since the election, everything seems a little bit more joyful,

1082
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: so maybe I'm giving credit to something, you know, like

1083
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 1: that brings me like I'm so happy. I'm so happy

1084
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 1: that this happened and it's looking like, you know, democracy

1085
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: is still intact, and that makes me joyful. But I

1086
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: really think this thing about reminding yourself what to be

1087
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: grateful for, because when you write it every morning, you know,

1088
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 1: you kind of want to like differentiate, you could repeat yourself,

1089
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,760
Speaker 1: but you know, makes you think about all the people

1090
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: in your family, and it makes it all your friends

1091
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 1: and all a little people in your life that not

1092
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:03,960
Speaker 1: little people but the people you don't see as much

1093
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 1: or that play smaller roles in your life, you realize

1094
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 1: how integral they are, you know, as instagral as the

1095
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: people you spend more time with. So it's always just

1096
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: a good reminder. And do you literally just write a

1097
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 1: list or do you like elaborate I write could be like,

1098
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the dinner I had last night. I'm

1099
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 1: grateful for my assistant Carla. I'm grateful for my bow.

1100
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm grateful my sister had safe surgery. It's just like,

1101
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 1: can be all over the I'm grateful that my special

1102
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 1: is coming out on Netflix. You know, like it can

1103
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: be materialistic, it can be a person. It could be

1104
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: I'm grateful to be alive. I just yeah, I mean

1105
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: I I used to kind of essue all of that

1106
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and now I'm really knee deep in

1107
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 1: all of it. And it shows, like I feel younger

1108
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: and lighter and happier. What about you, Catherine, what brings

1109
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: you joy? Well, this is something I've been doing lately

1110
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: that feels very outside of the box for me because

1111
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 1: I'm an excellent cook, but I am a terrible baked.

1112
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: Like I know myself to be a bad baker. I

1113
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,399
Speaker 1: always forget to put on a timer or I don't

1114
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: measure correctly. But I've decided to just do the easiest

1115
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 1: possible version of baking. I just looked up what is

1116
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 1: the easiest recipe for biscuits, and I've been making them,

1117
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 1: and amazingly they've been turning out perfectly. So like once

1118
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: a week, I've just been making biscuits and I feel

1119
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 1: like the homemaker, like I can finally make So that's

1120
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: something that's been just like small, and I like brings

1121
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 1: me joy once a week. So I love both of

1122
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 1: these things. Guys, I might incorporate like a chocolate chip

1123
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: cookie instead of a bisk but I love that these

1124
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: are both two very very concrete bits of advice in

1125
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 1: terms of joy. I saw I read somewhere recently that

1126
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: if you can just cook yourself one meal even a week,

1127
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 1: just the act of cooking yourself the food and then

1128
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 1: eating the food is an act of joyfulness. And I

1129
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: was like, oh, and I'm like, you know, I do

1130
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 1: get some satisfaction when I make myself scrambled eggs that

1131
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 1: don't go you know, sideways, like or that start out

1132
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: as over easy and then turn into scrambles anyway. Do

1133
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: you do anything Mandy like that? Do you have a

1134
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: practice like meditation or anything like that. I don't, but

1135
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: hearing some of your advice today on the show, I

1136
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 1: definitely want to be more active about incorporating that into

1137
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 1: my my routine. Yeah, especially with two little babies, like

1138
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: You've got to really have to exercise probably so much

1139
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: patience I can imagine, and we have to for the

1140
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:39,439
Speaker 1: next eighteen year. Yeah, exactly. But I'm going to start

1141
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 1: the gratitude journal and the gratitude journaling like that. Just

1142
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 1: that feels like a very easy practice to start and

1143
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: keep up. Awesome. Well, it was such a delight seeing

1144
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 1: you spending some time with you. You're so beautiful inside

1145
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 1: and out. Thanks you too, both of you. Thank you

1146
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: so much. This was such a fantastic way to spend

1147
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: an hour. I really appreciate it. Yeah, and I hope

1148
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: to see you so than later. Mandy. I hope so

1149
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: to thank you both. Have a good one. Thank you

1150
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: to bye bye. If you are enjoying what you're hearing,

1151
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 1: you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea. That is our podcast,

1152
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 1: and you can rate us if you want. Yeah, that's

1153
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 1: a great idea. It actually makes a huge difference. Okay, Yeah,

1154
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: subscribe and and and comment, yeah, and follow. So if

1155
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email

1156
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea

1157
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:37,080
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio, executive produced by

1158
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,960
Speaker 1: Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered

1159
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:41,960
Speaker 1: by Brad Dickert.