1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: Terrible advice, lower level, lower level, low It's wrong shooter. 2 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me for our weekend special edition 3 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: of our podcast. So you know me for all the 4 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: celebrity news, the gossip, or the entertainment stories. But I'm 5 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: also a best selling self help author. I don't really 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: like that term self help. I don't think about this 7 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: stuff as help. I think about it as essential, real 8 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: life tools that we should all know, we should all practice, 9 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: and so we're going to call it that today Instead 10 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: of self help, I want to talk about some of 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: the most valuable lessons that I've learned, that I've taught, 12 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: they've helped other people with, that they've helped me with, 13 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: and so maybe they might just help you. Today's topic 14 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: is the kindest thing you will ever do, the kindest 15 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: thing you will ever do. Envy and jealousy are indicators 16 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: that you have not yet fully accepted yourself. Jealousy it's 17 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: not about somebody else, It's about you. It's about those 18 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: dreams that are deep down inside you that have never 19 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 1: been realized. In fact, jealousy is a cry for attention 20 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: from passions that want to be fulfilled. So we must 21 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: stop thinking about jealousy like it's a bad thing. Instead, 22 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: let's start seeing it as a lighthouse pointing us towards 23 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: what will make us really happy. Jealous feelings are a 24 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: really powerful map. They show you what you want in life. 25 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: So sit up and pay attention to them. And the 26 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:13,839 Speaker 1: next time you are jealous, I know those feelings are 27 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: teaching you about yourself, not anybody else. Follow them, Follow 28 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: them like a compass, because they will show you where 29 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: you really want to be in your life. Don't forget 30 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: there's enough room for everybody to succeed, including you. Someone 31 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: else's success does not make you a failure, because you're 32 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: not in competition with anybody but yourself. Turn that jealousy 33 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: into action, and that action into acceptance. When you become 34 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: a fan, a fan of the person who once made 35 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: you green with envy, you will start to come inspired. 36 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: Observe them and their behavior and find out how they 37 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: got to where you want to be. Transform that jealousy 38 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: into admiration, and what you admire will eventually become part 39 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: of your life too. Desiring what other people have means 40 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: you've still got a lot of work to do, which 41 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: is perfectly natural. But we do have to do the 42 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: work because nothing is kinder than accepting yourself. In fact, 43 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: accepting yourself is the kindest thing you will ever do, 44 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: because acceptance is the cornerstone of kindness. It's that simple. 45 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: The more you accept, the more kindness will be in 46 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: your life. Think about it. When you're cruel to other people, 47 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: it's because you don't accept them or what they are doing. 48 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: The same is true when you are cruel to yourself. 49 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: You're cruel to yourself because you haven't accepted everything about yourself. 50 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,239 Speaker 1: And I get it, I really do get it. Acceptance 51 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: is really, really hard. It doesn't happen in an hour 52 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: or a day or even a week. It takes a 53 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: really long time, which is why we need to start 54 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: right now. Becoming comfortable in your own skin, that I know, 55 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: is a lifelong challenge and it needs constant attention. But 56 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Think about 57 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: accepting yourself every single day, every single day, until it 58 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: becomes a habit as natural as breathing or waking up 59 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 1: in the morning. That is the goal. Most people think 60 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: acceptance is being totally comfortable and honest with themselves about 61 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: everything they are. However, that's only half the story. Acceptance 62 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 1: is also about being totally honest and comfortable with everything 63 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: you are not. It's hard, but that's total acceptance. It's 64 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: only when you truly accept everything about yourself, everything what 65 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: you are and what you are not, that you can 66 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: be a hundred percent at peace with yourself. And this 67 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 1: is only possible when you start beating yourself up. Embrace 68 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: where you are and where you are not right now 69 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: in your life, stop racing towards the finish lion, and 70 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: starting joining the journey along the way. It's so so 71 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: easy to take life for granted. Recently, I was rushing 72 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: from appointment to appointment thinking of all the things I 73 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 1: needed to do, and this hang out on all the 74 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: small moments that happen in between. When you only think 75 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,559 Speaker 1: about checking off each task on your to do list 76 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: and moving on to the next, you fall into the 77 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 1: trap of finding more and more things to do rather 78 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,679 Speaker 1: than finding more happiness. None of us need more things 79 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: to do. We don't need to keep adding to add 80 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: to do list, but we do need to find more happiness. 81 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: So slow down, don't speed up, and remember life needs 82 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: to be full of moments of acceptance. Hey, there was 83 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: a point in my life when I would beat myself 84 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: up all the time. There was a point where I 85 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: couldn't remember a time when I didn't think about my 86 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: big nose or my soft jaw line that made it 87 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: difficult to know where my neck began and my face ended. 88 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: And also to my bad skin. I would obsess about it, 89 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: and on top of that that my arm was damaged 90 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: when I was born. I came very close to having amputated. 91 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: All this put together, you could understand why I didn't 92 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: exactly feel like a movie star. For years, I long 93 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: to be super handsome with two perfect arms. I dreamed 94 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: about how different my life would be if I had 95 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: the skin of Brad Pitt. And it wasn't just my 96 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: physical appearance that I was so unkind about. I was 97 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: equally cruel about feeling that I was not enough. We 98 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: talked about that on last week's podcast. Not an opportunity 99 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: could pass me by that I couldn't use to make 100 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: myself feel even worse, comparing myself to those who were richer, 101 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: better looking, more popular, and more perfect than me. Until 102 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: I chose to stand up against those relentless bullies inside 103 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: my head, and for the first time in my life, 104 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: I started to accept myself it was the kindest thing 105 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: I probably will ever do. Finely, I worked out who 106 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: I am and who I'm not, and finally I've made 107 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: peace with both. Instead of being brutal, I am now compassionate. 108 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: Instead of judging, I now fully accept, And instead of 109 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: choosing to be cruel, I choose to be kind. After all, 110 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 1: the kindest thing you will ever do is accept yourself. 111 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: It's not even nice with