WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: Did Cheating in High School Ruin My relationship? 0:00:01.400 --> 0:00:04.200 All right, let's get into our kick of the week, y'all. 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:07.680 We are going to do the A, B C's of 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:13.560 Mother Earth. I looked up these kink slash fetishes that 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.040 I'm like, Damn, I don't know if we've ever talked 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.880 about it, because what the fuck? So the first one, 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:20.480 and I want you all to guess what y'all think, 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:26.520 It is based on Latin roots and shit. So actorasty fetish. 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:31.520 What do you think that means? Actorasty? And I don't 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.040 know if I'm saying it right, that's how it spelled. 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:40.040 Act I are a s t y actorasty fetish? All right, y'all, 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.280 host don't know, yea. So it is the sexual fetish 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:48.519 known when someone is aroused by the rays of the sun. Therefore, 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:52.479 someone with this fetish would love being intimate outdoors or 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.440 under a large window on a sunny afternoon. 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.639 What is the sun connected to acting? I don't know. 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:00.840 I just thought y'all might know lat and roots. I 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:04.160 don't know this next one though, mind you, the other 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.080 egg the other a one was way too easy. 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.880 Y'all would have got it. Aquaphilia, okay, fucking in the 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:13.360 water awa, you know? All right? 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:19.320 So this next one bronzophilia. And this has nothing to 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.080 do with lebron jay damn. 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.600 Tough bronzophilia. 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:30.760 This actually I think I'm a bronxophiliac. I don't know 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.720 if that's the word, but this is me. So Bronsophilia 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:39.080 is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused by thunderstorms. 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:40.080 What the fun? 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:42.880 Yes, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you, okay, but the 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.440 way I'm the way I rub my plussy when it's raining, 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.800 I'd be like, oh my god, time to like go 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:49.640 play with myself. 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.440 When I hear that goddamn rain and thunder, my whole 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:54.960 body shuts down and I just get horny. Why because 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.600 your body knows there's nothing else you can do right now? 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:03.560 Do you know what I just said? So I went to 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:07.240 Mexico to get this gentle shit done. Long story short, 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.560 one of the days it was crazy thunder. So my 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:13.720 nigga wakes up and he's like, damn that sucks. And 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:17.160 I was like, bro, we're on vacation to do nothing 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:20.960 and now actually in the best place. So we come 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.440 outside and it's all inclusive award and you could tell 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.480 they stress and they'll know what activities to do for people. 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.120 They were like, Saunty, you know you guys haveing a 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.320 good day. I'm like, you're having a nigga. I had 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:32.480 that sex blaze on my face, you know when the 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:34.880 little dried up coming looked a little white. It looked 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.240 like I had some eggs of a flakes, just seemen. 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.360 I love when it rings. 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.280 Give it to me, all right, and now first seek, 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:45.480 Let's see if y'all can get this. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:46.600 This one was strange. 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:54.359 Chasmophilia by the way, something too. It's all about mother Earth. 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:59.600 Chasmophilia by the way. I love that there's kinks that 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.440 we still don't know that I saw and I was like, 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:03.000 what the fuck? I don't think we ever talked about it. 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:08.040 Close? What did you say? No, wey was closer. 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.840 I'm thinking of something like feeling the ground, like grounding close. 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:16.919 Childphilia is an unusual and interesting fetish. What it means 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:21.720 is that one is aroused by crevices, caverns, and valleys. 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:25.560 Oh wow, okay, literally maybe a bitch one, which, to 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:30.000 be fair, I did fucking a cave in in in Jamaica. 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.280 Now I don't I haven't been to Green Canyon yet, 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.280 so I don't know if my mind would be turned 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.880 on by wanting to fuck in the can were other 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.800 people in the like how big is the cave like 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.000 the cake's The cave is like the sides of this 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.720 room that we're in, and there was a waterfall like 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:49.000 blocking it. So it's a really dark cave, the waterfalls 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:52.600 coming down and we have we no, no bad. We 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.000 were the only ones in it. It's like a man 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:55.160 made one. It was at the Nude Pole. 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:57.800 Oh, it was like a fake cave, clean cave. 0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:59.840 But it was given cave no because like you know what, 0:03:59.880 --> 0:04:02.240 you go on vacation, you start walking with the bull shoes. 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:04.240 Yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm giving that care. 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:08.080 It was given a cave in a pool, a belt cave, 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:13.520 all right. So for the Hoda, this is one I 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.760 found online and I was like, never thought of it 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:23.360 this way. This is called tactile exploration. So this is 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.680 when and this is a real vanilla tip by the way, 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.040 for y'all. So when I read it, I was like, oh, 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.760 I never thought about that, but yes, this is great 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:33.720 because I feel it when I'm in other people's bed. 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:40.080 So tactile exploration is the introduction of very textures in 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:42.680 the bedroom where you would have sex. So you could 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.120 either do this through bedding, you could do it through 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.760 clothing or even accessories. 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:51.360 So for example, silk sheets. 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.520 I ain't gonna hold you gives a way different thing, 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:56.440 a way different feeling when you're having sex on your body, 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.159 like silk sheets. I had a nigga with silk sheets, 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:01.320 and I was like, this nigga is a whore because 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.800 it felt like I just knew. I said, oh, you 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.680 have to be a slut. First off, what nigga has 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.520 silk sheets? But also it made me feel like, why 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:09.280 the fuck don't I have. 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.280 Silk sheet because silk sheets ate. 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:14.440 On your body like you slide a little bit more 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.520 and you don't feel like mind you, it just doesn't 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:18.200 feel as rough. 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:19.839 But also it's cold. 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.680 I'm like wondering right now if those silk shit sheet 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.480 things was recent, right, somebody listening. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:26.240 To this like hold on. 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:35.640 Bruh silk sheets. I was like, oh, I. 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:37.039 I've actually thought men were horries for having silk pillercases, 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:39.600 because that's no. 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:43.400 Do you well unless he got dreads or hair, than 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:45.279 it is for him if he got braids or dreads. 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:48.120 I'm not even thinking it's for a bitch, I'm thinking 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.880 this nigga cares about his locks? 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:51.760 Say they do? 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:56.240 You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.000 but why it's up there. Tap in for the full, 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:03.000 uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:07.719 patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy, 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:12.920 t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.520 And now here's You've Got Decisions if. 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.880 You would like to have us answer your questions. 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.360 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:23.919 a terrible throatfle. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.360 Guess what you've got? Decisions? 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:31.239 You got decisions, puts the whole get it together? 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:33.560 Okay, that wasn't bad? 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.880 People low, I know, and y'all like when I say 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:42.719 puts the house, so I know, let's just combine the 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:48.760 tool post season the holes, we're going to combine the two. 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:49.480 Do you know? 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:56.120 Ask me if you were saying recently pussy hole, they 0:06:56.200 --> 0:07:00.240 must be for Middle America. She's definitely a wife, yeah, 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.479 And she was like, it's so crazy because I've never 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.560 heard pussy hole. And I'm like, why would I call 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:08.800 someone up now? Maybe because there is a there is 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.160 an asshole. No, and I think they do say that 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.720 now that you said it. They definitely said that in Jamaica. 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:19.880 Mm hmm. Now she was sucking a Jamaican nigga because 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.160 where she got at. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:24.640 But no, it's puss pussy asshole. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.080 Oh but maybe do that too because I say pussy asshole, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.120 So maybe it was a pussy asshole. 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.320 Well okay, maybe not weeped out too. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:41.000 Nope, because this video is only available on Patreon, So 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:42.960 go to patreon dot com. 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:46.080 Backside a horrible physicians and. 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.239 On the feet y'all gonna get these curse words, bitch 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:53.920 and nice place where we answer the you Got Decisions 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:54.679 emails first. 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:57.160 So if you have a question about your man, your girl, 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.400 your baby, daddy, your homegirls, man, that you. 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:04.480 Were fucking, your situation, job, all of it, you can 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:07.280 ask those questions in the Patreon messages because that's where 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:08.760 we check first every. 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.880 Single time in CAM. 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.320 But if you aren't on Patreon and you also want 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.680 to send us your dilemma, make sure you email us 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:24.000 Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.760 You know, I just wondered looking at you, how could 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:28.560 whenever did your eyebrows platinum on? 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.800 I have I've done it with makeup, but I haven't 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:36.680 done it like permanently. I definitely want to, But girl, 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:38.800 I just be like, do I really want to go. 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.200 That route right now? Why not? You already was a skunk? 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:44.400 I did it, I did it with first off, don't 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:48.040 do it like you was already gone. That's crazy, You're like, mom, 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:49.400 I want to go that radical? 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.480 Yeah? Do I want to be that edgy? 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.680 Like I already stand out when I'm out, Like, I 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.199 think that would like just bring too much attention to me. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:01.880 And I'm already pines bit, bitch, I'm already fun as fucks, 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:06.240 so you know I'd be like, let me not give 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:10.040 it all to them, And then I'm not into. 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:17.040 Like radical artsy niggas. Y'all know. I like niggas with like. 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:21.320 PhDs and like nerds and lames, and I'm already a 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:25.400 lot for them, So like, bitch, I gotta I don't 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:26.319 want an artsy nigga. 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:32.960 I want my little spartan. Yes, okay, yes, uh. 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:37.120 Anyways, let's get into this one. Did cheating in high 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.200 school ruin my relationship? Let's get into it. Hey, y'all, 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.520 I'm a twenty six year old woman in an on 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:48.720 and off again relationship with my high school sweetheart. 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.840 In high school, I cheated. 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:54.040 It deeply hurt him, and I fully owned that I 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:58.160 was immature and selfish. Not long after reconnecting, I got 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:01.760 pregnant the initial He didn't want me to keep the baby, 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.040 but said he'd support me if I did. Oh, and 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:09.320 he's been an amazing active dad ever since. Okay, we've 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:12.959 broken up and gotten back together several times over the years. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.959 About three years ago, he brought up entering the lifestyle. 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:21.640 He gets turned on by cheating scenarios and asks me 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:25.080 to sleep with his friend or talk about being with 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:29.640 other men while we're together. M I agreed because I 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.200 thought it would strengthen us. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:35.079 Here's where I'm confused. 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.719 That was not wrotten my last He rarely makes romantic effort, 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:44.160 no flowers, no real intentional work in our relationship. When 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:47.360 I bring up feeling unloved, he says he tried for 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.319 years and I still cheated in high school, so why 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:54.520 should he now. Sometimes I feel like he resents me. 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:58.000 Sometimes I even wonder if he resents women in general. 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.440 But then he's sex is the very thing that broke 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.320 us up my cheating and uses. 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:05.920 The swinger dynamic against me. 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:11.240 Later, what starts is consensual ends up feeling humiliating. I 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:14.880 can't tell if this is unresolved pain showing up sexually, 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:18.760 or if he's punishing me while keeping me around so 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:21.839 he doesn't have to be the one who leaves. Am 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.840 I trying to fix something that's already dead? Or is 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.560 there a healthy way to rebuild trust after this long? 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:29.040 Thanks for any advice. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:32.960 I love y'all. This is a this is a second one. 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:38.520 I okay, okay, right, I'm not gonna hold you. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:41.880 For the cheating. They're twenty six. 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:46.280 Oh, okay, twenty six, that's right, So I mean it's 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:47.800 you better than not bring up nothing I did in 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:48.400 high school. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.640 You better not bring up Shitugh. 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:56.280 Tricky because not only do they share kids together their 0:11:56.320 --> 0:12:00.440 high school sweethearts, they've been together for however long, and 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:04.320 now at twenty six, the fact that they're also now 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:08.600 introducing lifestyle before there's been a level of forgiveness with 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:12.200 the cheating. The cheating, right, I don't think anybody should 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:16.880 enter lifestyle with a hangup of betrayal or dishonesty or 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:17.680 lack of trust. 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.480 Even when y'all were in a monogamous. 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.240 Sense, because the fact that he keeps throwing it in 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:28.000 your face, he's not over it, and it's crazy that 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:32.440 you brought up that you feel humiliated. I wonder if 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:35.679 he's not into lifestyle at all, but he's into humiliating 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.520 you and making you feel like shit the way that 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.640 you did to him years ago, like the kink here 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:43.920 may not be the swinging it mad like the payback. 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:48.760 It might just in his mind, humiliating you. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.079 After you show up to be who you were when 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.600 y'all were in high school may be what's getting him 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.680 off because he's not over it. So maybe he's trying 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.240 to find a way to get over it and it's 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:00.240 not working for him him. 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:02.240 I don't think that he's trying to find a way 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.200 to get over it. I mean, maybe he is enjoying 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.360 it during the sex talk. But as far as you 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.920 may not think you're diving into non monogamy territory, but 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.800 I just want to say you absolutely are. And what 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:16.720 Mandy's saying about like there has to be a place 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:22.880 of forgiveness. Just for context, in my open relationship, nigga, 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.920 if one of us is having a bad day, the 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.960 relationship is close. If this niggas having a bad day. 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.880 I'm not just gonna say, well, hey, I'm gonna go 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:35.079 out tonight and meet yeah. 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.320 Won. So that's not how it works. 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.920 We literally shut it down at any inkling of not 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:45.920 feeling one hundred percent. So knowing there's previous and passion, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:51.200 but y'all somehow sexualize it. I think, like, maybe you're 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.319 just enjoying pleasing and being kinky and it can be fun, 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.120 but oof, you've. 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:56.760 Got to resolve that. 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:05.280 Yeah, the question she asks to is there a healthy 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.120 way to resolve this or is the relationship dead already? 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.800 I think for me, that's not an actual answer that 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:19.680 you can answer. If he's still, you know, bringing up 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.760 what you did years ago and using it against you. 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:28.720 You can't control how he feels. You can't control when 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.720 he forgives you. You can't control his healing journey. 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.720 So it has to be is he willing to let 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.400 it go to form a more healthier bond with you? 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.200 And if he's not, there's literally nothing you can do. Bro. 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:45.000 Like, that's the thing that's interesting, Like, yes, it takes 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:48.360 to to tango, but when it comes to someone genuinely 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:52.560 feeling betrayed or like they can't trust you. It has 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:56.480 to be their journey and their desire to overcome that. 0:14:56.760 --> 0:15:00.160 In order to make the relationship healthy, you could do 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.560 everything right. You could never cheat on that man again. 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.800 You could give him every fantasy he wants. You could 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.480 cook him dinner every night. You could rub his feet 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.720 when he get off work. If he's not doing the 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.640 work to forgive you, the relationship is dead. 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:18.280 And also, here's the other thing too. I'm saying like, 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.080 oh my god, this is fucking high school. Get over it. 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.720 But at the same time, I know that we can't 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.240 rush to anybody's process on how things make them feel. 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:28.920 Like I have a friend of mine that's been married 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:33.480 for I think they just hit their fifteen year anniversary 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:37.640 whatever they're a black couple, and whatever he did, he 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:42.360 cheated years ago. I had no idea this Spanish literally, 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:47.280 the language is their trigger. Here's why, bitch not. They 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.520 can't ever go to the bronx together. Oh bitch, we 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.360 were all talking about the bad Bunny thing. I facetimed 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.240 her after the bad Bunny joined and we laughed about it, 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:57.880 and I was like, bitch, da da da, So she 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.360 was like, I'll call you later. So I was like, Okay, 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:04.560 whych she acting funny? It's me later and she's like, girl, I. 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:05.320 Almost say his name. 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:07.480 So and so cheated on me for like a year 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.600 because he spoke Spanish to this bitch and I thought 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.480 he was gonna work calls and I had no idea 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:14.040 what they were. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:14.880 Saying the whole time. 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:20.200 So anything that's about Spanish or translated or whatever, like 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:21.960 I'll be getting in my feelings. 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:22.200 Bitch. 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:23.720 She was like, so you was making a joke like 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:25.720 we needed said titles. And she was like, bitch, that 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.600 was the fucking joke of my damn marriage. 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.560 Oh I ain't gonna hold you. Can you imagine? 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.080 No Fir's You know, I don't really date niggas with accents. 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:39.320 But now, in the most ignorant, probably right leaning, fucking opinion, 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.800 I can ever say, bitch, if we go together and 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.160 you speak another language, not at my house, none under 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:46.720 my roof, bitch, you better speak in glate. 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:47.320 Bitch. 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:49.040 I was fucking would a lot be a nigga? And 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:50.640 every time he got on the phone and it felt 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:51.840 a little too tricky. 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:52.600 I'd be like this will google. 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.800 Yeah, I hold to know that this man was having 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:01.840 phone calls in another language with another bitch around you 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.439 is oh my god, no bitch that. 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:07.240 She didn't know it was another bitch, And so she's like, yo. 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.440 No, But that's what I'm saying to know where hindsight, 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:17.680 everybody has their little fucking tick. 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.160 I actually I don't have a tick in my relationship. 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:24.520 And we recently had this conversation because I cussed out 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:30.639 a guy like a business dealing, right, Okay, I cursed 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.200 this dude out and he was like, Yo, you ain't 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:34.159 never talk to me like that. 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:34.840 And I was like, I know. 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:37.359 We never got a crazy blow up fight, and he 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:39.280 was like, I pray to god we never do. 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:40.520 He's like, but. 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:45.440 If we did, it would be something that would probably 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:49.200 last forever, Like we would probably always talk about that 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.679 one incident. And we don't have at the moment in 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:55.720 our relationship the rock of that thing from the past 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:57.840 that we always bring up. And he's like, I hope 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.399 it doesn't happens, but a lot of people do have that. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.680 And I say all that to say, in your particular case, 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:04.359 I think it's this thing from. 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.240 High school, and you know it's gotta go. 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.200 And not only does it have to go, I just 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:16.040 I just had another another thought with this right super 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:21.119 interesting and I know you're probably enjoying yourself with the 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:25.760 lifestyle aspect of this relationship because it's fun. But I 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:30.400 also wonder if him seeing you be able to fuck 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:33.360 these other men, whether it be a friend or whoever owns, 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.720 I wonder if that's also making him more hesitant to 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.040 believe that you would. 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:39.680 Ever be just his. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.639 You know what I mean, Like he may also like 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.159 you to an extent or love you to an extent 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.560 to where maybe he's even opening or bringing up this 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:53.720 lifestyle element in these fantasies because he feels like that's 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.080 what you need, because he's genuinely maybe also not secure 0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:59.760 enough and feeling like he is enough for you because 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.199 chet On, which is even a deeper laird that I 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.919 was like, damn, maybe this is for you, and he 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.320 humiliates you after because there's the insecurity in himself that 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:10.320 doesn't feel like enough. 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.399 Like that's why I make me feel so sad. 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.359 Like but I'm I mean, and I brought that up 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:20.240 because a lot of times, right people assume that women 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.000 have the threesomes with other women because they figure their 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:25.119 man is gonna cheat anyway. 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.080 Let me just do this I might not be what 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:27.440 he wants. 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:30.359 Let me just and so what if it's in reverse 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.240 the other way and he's not over not being enough 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.520 for you. The fact that you said he removes the 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:39.480 romanticism from the relationship, and he brings up that he 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:41.800 gave you all the romance and you cheated on him. 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:43.160 That's why he don't do it no more. 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:44.840 You know what I mean? 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:50.760 I probably really nigga who fuck you cheated with? Because 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:52.320 now I don't want to see the nigga. 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:54.800 You always want to see what somebody looked like. That 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:56.119 don't ever even matter. 0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:00.720 Okay, wait, hold on, you do because when you're high school, 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.040 what the what the motherfucker looked like at high school 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:03.440 don't matter. 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.639 Then he might have been a young job and you 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:10.320 know what, that nigga might have been fine shit if 0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:12.320 you were cheating with a captain and the team. Like 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.760 my homegirl recently said, she found out and let it go. 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:18.360 By the way, this is a mini listening to me, judge. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:22.160 So she found out her nigga was fucking somebody else 0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:25.480 and saw what the girl looked like and decided not 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:27.679 to bring it up because she went through his phone 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:32.520 and she was like, I gotta save like this, like 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:34.640 the going through the phone for like a bigger thing. 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:36.439 She was like, but I saw what the girl looked like, 0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:37.960 and she was so whacked that I know he was 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:38.800 just horny that night. 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:43.879 And I was like, damn, okay. 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:46.399 But she's like, I'm like, so, what would you have 0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:50.439 done in the bitch look better than you? Like she 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:52.159 I would have lost it. She was like, but I 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:54.240 was just less jealous because I really. 0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:58.320 Know, I said, with the fact that I felt the 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:01.400 way that my ex cheated on with some bum bitches. 0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:07.080 No, I okay, I think there's two factors here being 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.400 cheated on. If you cheat on me with a bitch 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:14.480 that looks like Beyonce, it's gonna bruise my ego obviously, right, 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:16.120