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Speaker 1: This is unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast

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Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back, gang to unbreakable, a

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Speaker 1: mental health podcast with Jay Glazer. I am Jay Glazer

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Speaker 1: and you know, look for those of you who are

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Speaker 1: new to this show, I decided, as they do really do,

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Speaker 1: to start talking about what I call living in the gray,

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Speaker 1: my mental health issues, which is depression, anxiety, a D D.

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Speaker 1: Let's they're a little bipolar in there. I'm not your therapist,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a teacher, I'm not a doctor, I'm just

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Speaker 1: a dude who's messed up, who's learning how to be

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Speaker 1: good with his messed up nous. And the more I

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Speaker 1: could talk about it, I'm hoping to give people words.

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Speaker 1: You know, we talk about mental health, but who gives

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Speaker 1: it words? Until we have words, it's hard to have

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Speaker 1: the conversation. So I'm just trying to make it easier

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Speaker 1: for us to have the conversation. The more we could

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Speaker 1: talk about it, the more people don't have to suffer

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Speaker 1: in silence. I suffer in silence for I'm fifty two,

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Speaker 1: so I guess I'd be fifty one years that I

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Speaker 1: just hit it and I created this other character about myself,

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Speaker 1: the glaze which you saw on TV, on Fox Nfl

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Speaker 1: Sunday and ballers and just everywhere. Um, I just didn't

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Speaker 1: know what else to do except to hide it. And

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Speaker 1: then I realized, you know what, I'm a dude like man.

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Speaker 1: No one's questioned in my manhood, so I could just

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Speaker 1: be out there and be as real as possible and

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Speaker 1: crying the drop of Dom because nobody's gonna question my manhood.

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Speaker 1: So with that, when I started this podcast, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to bring other men and women, but men that could

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Speaker 1: really start having this conversation deeper. And you talk about

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Speaker 1: dudely dudes. I'm bringing in my guy now, frank grilla.

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Speaker 1: You may know him from kingdom, from Marvel, from the purge,

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Speaker 1: from billions. This dude got more jobs than me and

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Speaker 1: strayhand combined. But he's a he is a dudely dude

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Speaker 1: who also, I know, he used to be with us,

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Speaker 1: and unbreakable. He fights, he's a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu,

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Speaker 1: he boxes. Man, it's incredible. But Frank I'm bringing on Aaron. Welcome, frank,

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Speaker 1: welcome to unbreakable. Thank you, brother. It's really really, really,

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Speaker 1: really good to be here. Yeah, and you know, there's

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Speaker 1: a couple of reason I want to bring frank on one.

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Speaker 1: As I started posting more and more about my struggles,

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Speaker 1: frank started kind of commenting more than the other dudes

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Speaker 1: out there, which, you know, really helped me gravitating. We're

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Speaker 1: already friends, but it meant a lot because I never

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Speaker 1: know what you know. As I started putting out there, Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was ever nervous about it, but man,

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Speaker 1: when I see people like you start to chime in,

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Speaker 1: it just validates that I'm I'm doing the right thing. Man,

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Speaker 1: you certainly are. Man, you're doing more than the right thing.

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Speaker 1: You are kind of having the way for men, for

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Speaker 1: men specifically, you know of a certain of a certain

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Speaker 1: Um uh, you know background to to speak up, to

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Speaker 1: speak out. You know life is difficult on the best

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Speaker 1: of days, and we were raised, or at least I

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Speaker 1: was raised, in a way where, you know, talking about

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Speaker 1: it or or complaining about it was just unheard of.

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Speaker 1: You just didn't do it. And you know, I come

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Speaker 1: from an Italian family, I've come from immigrants parents and Um,

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Speaker 1: you just shut up and put your shoes on and

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Speaker 1: went to work. And if you know, if you did

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Speaker 1: say something about how you were feeling, you know you

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Speaker 1: were a you know, you're a pussy. You were, you

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Speaker 1: know you were. You were less then, which you know now.

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Speaker 1: Having three sons, I certainly instill in them every day

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Speaker 1: could tell me what they're thinking or feeling or why

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Speaker 1: they're having a problem or uh so on and so

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Speaker 1: on and so on and UH. And it's guys like you, brother, who, uh,

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Speaker 1: who allow guys like me, you know, you're so vocal

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Speaker 1: and and uh, so articulate about it and so every

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Speaker 1: day in your face about it that you allow me

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Speaker 1: then to say, okay, I need to talk about this

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Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, yeah, you know, there's another reason I

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Speaker 1: break in Franklin. I want to dive more into our

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Speaker 1: menth so we can help you out there again. YEA

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Speaker 1: Two of us out there. No one's fucking question your manhood,

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Speaker 1: no one's question my manhood. So if the two of

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Speaker 1: US can cry about it, then every other dude out

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Speaker 1: there we're okay. Right, it's just gonna get stronger. But

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Speaker 1: I was supposed to go to dinner with Frank One

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Speaker 1: night in L A and he called and canceled and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you take the story from here. So

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Speaker 1: important for you to be on today. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: I uh one of my my closest friends, uh brother, Um, uh,

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Speaker 1: my manager, my partner in business, who has suffered from depression,

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Speaker 1: uh for as long as he can remember. Uh. He

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Speaker 1: sadly Um uh took his own life. I don't like

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Speaker 1: to say committed suicide. That word commits suicide bothers me. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think he succumbed to suicide and he did it

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Speaker 1: in a very horrific way, a very violent way. He

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Speaker 1: was found by his brother and his nephew and you know,

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Speaker 1: I had spoken to him hours before and he was

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Speaker 1: coming back from New Jersey to California to start a

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Speaker 1: new treatment. He was on testing out some new drug

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Speaker 1: combinations and something happened, something triggered him and he uh,

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Speaker 1: he killed himself, uh, which has devastated me. Uh. This

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Speaker 1: was about seven months ago. I can't say that I've

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Speaker 1: recovered from it. I don't think I will, but my

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Speaker 1: life is absolutely changed, a hundred and eighty degrees from it. Um,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's it's UH. It's allowed me now to

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Speaker 1: question other people who I know, who I feel maybe

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Speaker 1: struggling and are are silent about it. And it's questions.

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Speaker 1: I questioned my own depression and my own anxiete. Again,

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Speaker 1: speaking of my children, it's made me really be cognizant

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Speaker 1: of yeah, I have one. One of my kids is

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Speaker 1: on the spectrum and uh, I mean he's cognitively okay,

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Speaker 1: but but, you know, he suffers from a lot of

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Speaker 1: different things, some some learning disabilities, but he's very aware

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Speaker 1: of it and I could see him getting down on

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Speaker 1: himself because he doesn't understand why he's so different. And

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Speaker 1: so if we don't have the tools and the capacity

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Speaker 1: to deal with our our sons, uh, and daughters, but

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Speaker 1: and and deal with our friends, specifically our men friends,

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Speaker 1: we're doing ourselves a great injustice as as a society.

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Speaker 1: We really are. And this is something that needs to

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Speaker 1: be dealt with just the same way cancer or or

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Speaker 1: any other illness. You know that we gather around each

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Speaker 1: other to kind of cure uh. You know, we need

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Speaker 1: to put the light on this horrific, horrific illness which

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Speaker 1: were a lot of us suffer from silently. And I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna you know, I want people to understand who are.

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Speaker 1: You know, I made the decision long ago. No matter

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Speaker 1: how bad my pains and to get, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: make that ultimate decision. I'M NOT gonna kill myself because

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Speaker 1: I just don't want to put that on my son

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Speaker 1: and others around and that that pain. So I want

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Speaker 1: you to, if you're okay, yea, describe what it was

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Speaker 1: like to get that phone call, because I just want

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Speaker 1: people to understand, man, and I'm not I'm not shaming

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Speaker 1: people here. I am trying to villainize suicide. I am

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to villainize. Yeah, no doubt. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: get people to go, you know, ship. That's not okay

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Speaker 1: for me to do, because I'm gonna. I'M gonna. It's

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Speaker 1: not what was left. It's not. Yeah, it's not. I

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Speaker 1: have to say you know a lot of people, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people who are on the periphery of him

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Speaker 1: and don't really know him that well, and you know

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Speaker 1: he's a very he's in town. He was a very,

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Speaker 1: very powerful manager and his family is very powerful in town.

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Speaker 1: He had a lot of support, a lot of love,

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Speaker 1: a lot of love, a lot of money to help

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Speaker 1: him Um and people say, well, you know, he's he's

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Speaker 1: in a better place, or at least he's at peace.

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Speaker 1: I go no, he's not, he's dead. I I understand

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Speaker 1: what you're trying to say to make yourself feel better,

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Speaker 1: but no, he's not at peace, he's dead. There's no

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Speaker 1: coming back from that. So on the same line and again,

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Speaker 1: like guarantee you when and I want you to describe

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Speaker 1: the phone call, because I guarantee. Yeah. So I was yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was at work. I was working into Sunday night.

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Speaker 1: I was in Palm Springs. I was doing a movie.

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Speaker 1: Me And uh, me and cowboy Seroni were in a

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Speaker 1: scene together. Uh. I get a phone call about I've

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Speaker 1: got eight phone calls that I missed from his wife

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Speaker 1: right and I go okay, something, something's going on here.

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Speaker 1: About two hours before he had called me and I

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Speaker 1: said Hey, brother, his his brother had flown him from

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Speaker 1: New Jersey. He was at his brother's house. I said

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Speaker 1: you okay. He goes, you know, I'm hanging in. I

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Speaker 1: go okay, I said I'm gonna wrap the scene. I'm

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Speaker 1: getting in my car tonight. I'm driving back from Palm Springs.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with you tomorrow to the new treatment.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna drop you off with your brother right and

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Speaker 1: he said okay, I said I said I love you

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Speaker 1: so much, I'm so proud of you, and he's a

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Speaker 1: like you. He became very vocal about the pressure, very

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Speaker 1: vocal about it because he had a Plat for him.

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Speaker 1: And I hung up the phone with him. Two hours

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Speaker 1: later I get eight missed calls from his wife. I

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Speaker 1: finally get through to her and she's screaming he's bleeding,

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Speaker 1: these bleeding. They don't know what happened. He's breeding. He

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Speaker 1: was on he was on the sidewalk in Beverly Hills

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Speaker 1: and they took him to the hospital and I tried

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Speaker 1: to call him back and she didn't and I didn't

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Speaker 1: know if he had gotten into a fight or he

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Speaker 1: got into a car accident. I had no idea. You

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Speaker 1: want to know something, not one time did the thought

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Speaker 1: that he killed himself come. I don't know why. I

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Speaker 1: just never imagined because we spoke daily and I was

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Speaker 1: I was just thinking he got into an accident and

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Speaker 1: maybe because I didn't want to think he would, he would,

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Speaker 1: you know, he would hurt himself. And then five minutes

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Speaker 1: later she said he's gone, he's gone, he's gone, and

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Speaker 1: I could not wreck I could not, I could not

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Speaker 1: put it together, like, what do you mean he's gone?

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Speaker 1: Let let me talk to him. I actually said that.

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Speaker 1: I said, let me talk to him, he's not gone,

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Speaker 1: let me talk to him. And unfortunately he had. He

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Speaker 1: had succume to his wounds. And Uh, and that was it.

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Speaker 1: I I finished the night. Uh. It's all kind of

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Speaker 1: a blur. I got in my car and I cried

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Speaker 1: from the time I got in my car to the

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Speaker 1: time I drove home. And Yeah, and and you know,

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Speaker 1: I my son who is who has grown up with

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Speaker 1: him and he's my family, like we we we we

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Speaker 1: are family. We were family, our family's vacation together. His

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Speaker 1: his brother, is my kids Godfather. I got married at

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Speaker 1: his brother's house. I mean we're family. We're family. And

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Speaker 1: and my boy is gone. He's gone and I know that.

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Speaker 1: I know that there was a lapse in judgment. I

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Speaker 1: think something triggered him. Maybe it was the drugs being

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Speaker 1: out of sink, maybe he came off the drugs. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it was, but I know this guy

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Speaker 1: and I know that, given a second chance, he'd be

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Speaker 1: sitting here with us right now. You know which which

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Speaker 1: kills me, and I said it earlier. You know, two

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Speaker 1: years before this, both of my parents died. My father

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Speaker 1: took his own life with alcohol after my mother dropped dead,

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Speaker 1: and then my wife filed for divorce six months after that.

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Speaker 1: And I was like job in the Bible. I felt

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Speaker 1: like somehow God is taking everything away from me, right,

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Speaker 1: but I woke up every day and I put my

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Speaker 1: shoes on, I went to the gym and I did

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Speaker 1: my thing and I worked through it, which I think is,

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Speaker 1: by the way, the gym training, working out, I think,

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Speaker 1: is a part of what people need to do when

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Speaker 1: they get themselves into a certain state of mind. Uh.

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Speaker 1: But my journey the last three years, man, has been

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Speaker 1: a lot of suffering, a lot of pain, a lot

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Speaker 1: of depression of my own, a lot of anxiety, a

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Speaker 1: lot of mortalit feelings of mortality now and and you

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Speaker 1: know what's it? All that big existential question that we

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Speaker 1: all ask ourselves. And Uh, you know, I I he's

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Speaker 1: his pictures are all over my house and I talked

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Speaker 1: to him all the time and, uh, you know, I've

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Speaker 1: made a vow to myself to keep his spirit alive, uh,

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Speaker 1: by me doing what I can to make mental illness uh,

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Speaker 1: something that is on the forefront of everybody's mind that

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Speaker 1: we help the people who need this help. I think

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Speaker 1: we all need the help. It's just a scarier world

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Speaker 1: these days. You know, there's not enough therapists out there

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Speaker 1: for us yet, which is why we need to talk

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Speaker 1: about it. And you know you talk about your suffering.

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Speaker 1: I've only recently, because I felt paying my whole life,

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Speaker 1: like I've never known what it's like to not being

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Speaker 1: the gray it's every fucking day in my life and

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Speaker 1: it fucking sucks. And I didn't sign up for this ship.

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Speaker 1: Your friend didn't sign up for it. We did not

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Speaker 1: sign up to have depression anxiety, but it's how I

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Speaker 1: react to it right. So, for years, man, I just

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Speaker 1: thought I was cursed, and that's exactly what you're thinking about,

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Speaker 1: like your job, right, like man, what is you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm Jonah, who should be thrown overboard, and it's like

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Speaker 1: I didn't get it, and now I'm understanding it more.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm in this kind of pain so I

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Speaker 1: can lift others through theirs, and same for you. Like man,

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Speaker 1: you're getting tested, but you're putting, getting put through a lot.

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Speaker 1: But if you weren't getting put through a lot, you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be open like this. And you never knew who. Man,

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Speaker 1: you never know what lives around. Ducks choose, they're like

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Speaker 1: who you gonna save? You may save somebody that ends

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Speaker 1: up saving thousands of people. You have no idea. You

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Speaker 1: and and and, by the way, and, because I do

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Speaker 1: it on a much smaller scale than you, Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I try to keep my like my social media, I

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Speaker 1: try to make it about positive things, about you know,

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Speaker 1: if I if I read positive affirmations, I want to

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Speaker 1: pass that boat, always paying that forward. You know, try

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Speaker 1: to you know, and and training and I you know,

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Speaker 1: people think you know you trained because you know you

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Speaker 1: want to look as I might look a certain way.

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Speaker 1: Are you out of your mind? I don't mind. That's

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Speaker 1: all byproduct. I said, training is my what saves me,

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Speaker 1: what saves my mental health, is I trained and I

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Speaker 1: sweat and I'm in the gym with people who will

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Speaker 1: listen to anything I have to say. And that is

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Speaker 1: my commit and that's my community and community, that's my team.

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Speaker 1: And I talked about all this stuff with Justin Fortune,

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Speaker 1: my my trainer and dear friend. And you know, the fighters,

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Speaker 1: and you know there's as you know, fighters go through

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Speaker 1: a lot in my lives and and they're willing, they're

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Speaker 1: the I find they're the most the most vuls they

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Speaker 1: really are. That's how I started talking about it. It

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Speaker 1: was me, Randy Contour and Chruck loadella would be in

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Speaker 1: the cage, beat the dogs in at each other and

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Speaker 1: then we start crying and people think that we're crying

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Speaker 1: because we beat each other. Like no, we're cried about

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Speaker 1: divorces and, you know, stuff going on with our kids

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Speaker 1: and our our own depression and and I think it's

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Speaker 1: because fighters are more secure. Like I said, like no

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Speaker 1: one's question in my manhood. So I could cry right

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Speaker 1: like I just cried three minutes ago when you were

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Speaker 1: telling the story. No one's questioned me. I cry all

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Speaker 1: I see my children together, I cry. You know, I

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Speaker 1: I was with my friend. If I cry, I mean

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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's funny, you say, Randy Coltor's,

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Speaker 1: that when I saw you up at the Malibu Solo

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Speaker 1: House and you said to me, brother, I'm here for you,

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Speaker 1: and and we didn't know each other that well and

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Speaker 1: I certainly didn't know randy that well. We trained a

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Speaker 1: couple of times and he said, dude, don't go through

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Speaker 1: this divorce by yourself. He said, I'm out here, I'm

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Speaker 1: out here, I know it, call me, you know like

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Speaker 1: and that's what we need. We need men like that

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Speaker 1: to support other men who are my friend, Pete Berg.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you know Pete, uh, you know I sitting that.

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Speaker 1: We sit in the sauna and he goes and he

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Speaker 1: looks at me and he goes, you know, guys in

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Speaker 1: their fifties need to look out for each other. And

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Speaker 1: I looked at I go, you know what, Pete, you're

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Speaker 1: absolutely right. Guys in their fifties, guys, all guys, need

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Speaker 1: to look out for each other, all people, but but

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Speaker 1: in the sense that here we are together having these

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Speaker 1: conversations and he's talking about his life and I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about my life, and it's like, we need to look

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Speaker 1: out for each other. And and again, he's a dude.

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Speaker 1: Do Do you know what I saying? It's a big dude.

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Speaker 1: But that's like, and you're right, because we walk through

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Speaker 1: the world now, we're absolutely not the toughest guy in

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Speaker 1: the world by a long shot, but I walk through

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Speaker 1: the world secure. I know how to take care of

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Speaker 1: myself and not to take care of my family. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a long day. You want to start

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Speaker 1: having a fight. It's gonna be a long day. Have

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Speaker 1: to be. But you know so. But it doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: who wins loses. That's what it's gonna be. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, there's no, there's not. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that I meet, a lot of men

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Speaker 1: who they're afraid because they can't defend themselves. Or they

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Speaker 1: and they, and that comes out in other ways, other

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Speaker 1: insecurities and and uh, I always say to myself, oh,

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Speaker 1: that guy's never been punched in the face like it's

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Speaker 1: it's obvious. That's why he's speaking to that person like that,

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Speaker 1: because he's full of eat, he's full of Egos and

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Speaker 1: he's afraid. He's afraid. You know when you're not. It's

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Speaker 1: when you're all the way. But, by the way, because

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Speaker 1: you're talking about you and Pete Berginson, and you know,

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Speaker 1: your fight team, of my team, in the book that

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Speaker 1: I wrote, unbreakable, where I talk about, you know, how

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Speaker 1: I use my depression, anxiety and I turned into motivation.

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Speaker 1: One of the big, you know, cornerstones, or pillars, I

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Speaker 1: call of US handling our mental health is to have

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Speaker 1: a team, having a team, and that's exactly what Pete saying.

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Speaker 1: Like guys in their fifties have to look out for

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Speaker 1: each other. We can't do this ship along. That's what

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Speaker 1: Randy and I were telling you. Hey, man, we're here

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Speaker 1: for you, we get it, we understand it. So the

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Speaker 1: older team for everybody else out there. Find Your team,

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Speaker 1: find your guys. Community. said the word community. Absolutely, community, community, community. Listen,

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Speaker 1: there are there are, I think seven or eight, they

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Speaker 1: call them blue zones around the world where people live

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Speaker 1: to be the oldest right, the oldest people, and there's

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Speaker 1: diets are different, their exercise regimes are different, everything about

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Speaker 1: them is different. You know, they're not necessarily the healthiest people,

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Speaker 1: but they live the longest. What do that? The one

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Speaker 1: through line, the spine of it all, is cold. They

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Speaker 1: have the strongest sense of community. If I go down,

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Speaker 1: I know they're taking care of me, and that's what

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Speaker 1: we need to kind of create in our lives is

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Speaker 1: a strong sense of community so that I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not listen, brother, I grew up in a very tumultuous

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Speaker 1: I had a very tumultuous upbringing. My parents had me

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Speaker 1: at a very young age. They never had money. You know,

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Speaker 1: house like chaos at the best on the best of days.

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Speaker 1: You know, they were at each other's throats all the time.

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Speaker 1: They should have never been married and they stayed married. Blah, blah, blah,

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Speaker 1: Blah Blah. I have so much anxiety. I am a

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Speaker 1: nervous wreck. Many times I don't even like letting my

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Speaker 1: kids out of the house, like I am nervous all

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Speaker 1: the time. I remember laying in bed thinking, well, once

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Speaker 1: I have money, that's gonna relieve all my nerves. I'm not,

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Speaker 1: because I think it's the money. That's why I'm anxious

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Speaker 1: all the time and that's why I get depressed because

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Speaker 1: I don't have any money. Right, as soon as I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of money, I was more depressed and

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Speaker 1: I had more an I and I had something to

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Speaker 1: lose now, and so it wasn't it's not the money,

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Speaker 1: it's not the things, it's none of that stuff. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's it's in that. Listen, I am constantly in a state,

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Speaker 1: and I've had to work hard on this, of fight

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Speaker 1: or flight. May Amygdala is always on lookout for danger

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Speaker 1: because I grew up in every room. I can tell

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Speaker 1: you every person in there who's gonna be an asshole?

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Speaker 1: WHO'S gonna BE DANGEROUS? WHO's fighting? He's causing issues, who's

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Speaker 1: not secure? We could tell it all immediately that that's

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Speaker 1: the east coast kind of thing that we grew up with.

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Speaker 1: You're always walking into a situation where everybody's looking for right.

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Speaker 1: That's right. And I had a chronic alcoholic father, God

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Speaker 1: bless the rest his soul, who just couldn't pull it

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Speaker 1: together and, you know, created a lot of anxiety and

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Speaker 1: anger in me. And so when I see dudes that

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Speaker 1: are drunk and they're obnoxious, if you know, it triggers

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Speaker 1: something in my head and I want to kill him

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Speaker 1: because it's my father. I'm a grown man who's very evolved,

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Speaker 1: and yet I still have to be very cognizant of

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Speaker 1: these thoughts in my head that are as old as

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Speaker 1: I am. Right. And so if we don't have the

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Speaker 1: tools and the knowledge to manage all of this trauma

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Speaker 1: and this stuff, it turns out we become very depressed

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Speaker 1: and anxious and sleepless and all the things that create

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Speaker 1: a bad environment internally for ourselves. And we need to

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Speaker 1: help each other to work through this stuff, we really do,

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Speaker 1: because talk therapy alone is not enough. It's not. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not exactly. And we need, well, we need to

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Speaker 1: talk therapy, but also therapy with each other, you know,

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Speaker 1: and again, writing on each other. And that's that that

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Speaker 1: community that we're talking about, trying and trying to have that.

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Speaker 1: And Man, it's it's funny you say the other part too,

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Speaker 1: because you know when I when I talked, you know,

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Speaker 1: when I wrote in the book about kind of like

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Speaker 1: my journey, I was like, man, I was making dred

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Speaker 1: bucks a year for the first eleven years of my career,

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Speaker 1: living in New York City, so straight hand had to

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Speaker 1: drive me back from giant stadium every day because I

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Speaker 1: couldn't afford subway and bus fare both ways every day

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Speaker 1: for nine years. And and man, I mean you know

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00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,359
Speaker 1: how it is back he's put living in New York Bucks.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of fucking rejection and swimming up stream.

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Speaker 1: who was fucking terrible. But I thought, like you, okay, man,

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Speaker 1: once I get paid, once I get some money, I

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Speaker 1: can pay my bills, it's gonna be rainbows and UNICORNS.

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Speaker 1: And that's just not what fucking happens. Like I became

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Speaker 1: the first ever, minute by minute, breaking whose guy in

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Speaker 1: America for the NFL and I became the first million

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Speaker 1: dollar inside or a two million in on and and

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Speaker 1: we got inducted the TV Hall of fame, and then

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Speaker 1: I was the first ever m m a host in America. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and man, and then that, and Bam, and then here

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Speaker 1: I am. I'm up on the Super Bowl. Man, I'm

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Speaker 1: doing five years of pollards and fuck, where the funk

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00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: are the rainbows and UNICORNS? You're not there. You know,

422
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 1: if you don't know how to love yourself in the

423
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: inside out, all the money in the world is not

424
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 1: gonna get us to love ourselves from the inside out,

425
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 1: like you've got to do work on yourself. And by

426
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: opening up like this, it definitely makes me Frank. I

427
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 1: can tell you this. You and I are talking. It

428
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 1: makes me feel less alone, and that's exactly what we're

429
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 1: trying to do here. Me Too, me too, and you know,

430
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: you know. Adversely, it's like the way we need to

431
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 1: surround ourselves with like minded dudes like us, Uh and

432
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: our friends. We have to eliminate the people, and sometimes

433
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: it's painful that are are incredibly negative and and and

434
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: detrimental to to to to a good state of mind.

435
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: And there are a lot of those. And listen, we're

436
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: both in the entertainment business. I was the same way,

437
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: Bro I struggled for fifteen, eighteen years and then somehow,

438
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: I remember, I did warrior and my fucking life change.

439
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: And then the marvel. You're like just a minute, just

440
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,479
Speaker 1: like a minute. No, but I started in soap operas

441
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: in my late Twenties and I you know, I was

442
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: always an actor, but it was hard and I was

443
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 1: you know, it's just a lot of and then and

444
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 1: then in my yep and then in my forties, I hit.

445
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 1: I hit in the sense that okay, I'm good, I

446
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: don't have to really worried at this point. Right, I

447
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 1: can exhale a bit. But you know, along the along

448
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: the way, there's a lot of people around you that

449
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 1: they want to level you down, and I noticed this

450
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 1: all the time, and I tell my oldest son's twenty five.

451
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 1: Make sure the people around you are the people you

452
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 1: want around you, because bad people will level you down

453
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: right and they'll bring you to a place where they'll

454
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: don't your your mindset will be really fucked up. So

455
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: you've got to be cognizant of your monopoly board. You

456
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 1: have got to create your own you, you really do,

457
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 1: otherwise people are gonna take a lot of your energy

458
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,959
Speaker 1: and the stuff that you need to keep yourself healthy.

459
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: They're gonna take it away from it's something. Go ahead,

460
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I was gonna say so, especially in the

461
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: town like L A and Hollywood, in the entertainment business,

462
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 1: where there's the people that, there's the haves and the

463
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: have nots and the haves. There's no accident to success. None.

464
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: You've busted your world. I'll work the world, and I

465
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 1: say it all the time. I am, I fall are

466
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: not the most talented guy, but I'll tell you what,

467
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 1: I'm sucking every day in your face, every fucking day.

468
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure, relentless. Right, a lot of people

469
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: don't want to. That's exactly right. Yep, that's the same thing.

470
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: Like I when I walk in the giant Locker Room

471
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: Day one, I said, shoot, I don't have the same

472
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 1: talents as everybody else, I don't have the same education,

473
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: but I will outwork these motherfucker's, not by a little

474
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 1: but by a lot. They're working forty hours right, I'm

475
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: working a hundred, and that's why I didn't have another

476
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 1: job to pay my bills while I straight hand had

477
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: to drive me back into New York for all those years.

478
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: But that's the key to success is you find out

479
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: who the best is and do more than not by

480
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,120
Speaker 1: a little, that's right, but by a fucking lock, you know.

481
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: And then comes back to what you just said real

482
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 1: quick because you're like, Hey, man, you gotta say it

483
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: again about your monopoly board. You've got to create your

484
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: own monopoly board and you have to control it. You

485
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 1: have to monopolize your like. So I will where that's hard.

486
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: In business monopoly is illegal, and in your personal life,

487
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 1: in your personal life, I think that's how you have

488
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 1: got to create your world. You have got to own

489
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 1: all the properties around you, meaning you have got you,

490
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: to the best of your ability, create the people around

491
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: you that are gonna make you better and you're gonna

492
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: make them better. Anybody else. I don't have time. And

493
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: here's what happens. And they like I may like them,

494
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: I may like them, I don't have time. Here's what

495
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: happens to people like me with depression anxiety, because we don't,

496
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: at least for me, I didn't ever feel worthy of

497
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 1: being loved, so I never knew how to love myself

498
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: in the inside out. So, as a result, I want

499
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 1: to be liked by everybody, and that means the wrong

500
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: people in a lot of ways. So what you're sitting

501
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: here is something only just this year have I decided, like,

502
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 1: you know what, if you don't empower me, you're out. Like,

503
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna love me up, you're out. If

504
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: you're gonna pull me down, you're out right. But but, Frankie,

505
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: took me fifty two years be able to make this

506
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: and it hurts a lot. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter,

507
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. You know why? All there is is

508
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: right now. Right. So those those other years got you

509
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: to this place and right now is all that matter,

510
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: is all we fucking have. Right. So it's a blessing.

511
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: You know it now, so forget that you didn't right,

512
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't fun. People don't nothing in the home too, like, man,

513
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: you gotta your team has to be people that are

514
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: a happy for your success, don't need anything from you

515
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: for your success, but also want to push you to

516
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: your success if you don't have it yet, and the

517
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: people who are pulling you down by your ankles. Man,

518
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: you gotta do that. Leonardo dicapriole thing from titanic and

519
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 1: just to break, break their risks and let him float,

520
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 1: to let him that's the and that's the truth and,

521
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 1: as horrible as that sounds, that's how you should do it,

522
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: because those people will do the same to you and

523
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: you've got a lot more to lose, right. And so

524
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: you I you know, I see it. I see it

525
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: all the time, you know, I I see I have,

526
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: I have old friends of mine who they'll see a

527
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: movie and they and they'll say to me, hey, I

528
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: saw they go. That was it. Why did you do

529
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: that movie? I'm like, I'm sorry, motherfucker, I didn't see.

530
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 1: I didn't see your last I didn't see your last movie,

531
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: but thanks, thanks for the input. Like you know, it's

532
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 1: like now, what good did that do? Him? Right, what

533
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: good did it do? And then and now I've learned

534
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 1: to smile in a way, but I'm like, I feel sorry.

535
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: You know, by the way, next time you call, I

536
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: won't be right, but I feel sorry for you. It's

537
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: that kind of thing and it's a little thing, but

538
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: it's not a little thing because it hurts you, defects.

539
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 1: It's still it hurts her. It's still just, you know,

540
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: Sean McVeigh said it a couple of weeks ago on

541
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: this podcast. He's like just because he's Sean McVeigh Richard,

542
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: famous doesn't mean the shillings don't hurt. Like well, about

543
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 1: stray hand? Try Hands six FT twenty and you know,

544
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: three pounds. What you think? He doesn't have a heart

545
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: and feelings, like I don't, because he's so vague. Of course,

546
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: of course, man, like you know, my feelings get hurt

547
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: on the daily and that's usually when I get angry.

548
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm I've been trying to really control uh my you know, listen,

549
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: one of my problems has been, you know, I can get,

550
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: you know, aggressive and I'm trying to control that and

551
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: and I'm trying that like us. Sometimes, I just saw

552
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 1: Mike Tyson talk about it, when I keep the beast

553
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: in the box, because I used to handle things with

554
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: violence and now when you don't, sometimes I feel like

555
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: a bit because because I'm like fun man, I knew

556
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: this is like that, but like this guy and he's

557
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: as health and I can't write that and more and

558
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be better, but I that's what I

559
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: struggle with. That's right. That's right, because he's grown up.

560
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: Mike Tyson, and so Mike Tyson is supposed to be

561
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: this thing and if Mike Tyson doesn't react away, Mike

562
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: Tyson should, or Mike Tyson's a pussy. No, Mike Tyson

563
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: is a bigger man, right, he's a bigger fun it's harder,

564
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: it's still hard for us on the inside to keep

565
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 1: that monster and locked away in the box, which is

566
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: how better life? How did Mike Tyson everything he was?

567
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's the

568
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: crazy part of being a human being, that the mind.

569
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: The mind will fucking make you supper over the most

570
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: ridiculous thing, because I was a big man and walked away.

571
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: And it's hard, man, fucking hard. Yes, for people like us,

572
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: that's called growth, they say so. Man, I'm trying to

573
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: learn growth and I know I'm supposed to be happy

574
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: that I'm growing, but a lot of times that's still

575
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: a strong but that's why, when damage, people were fucked

576
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 1: up people, and that's okay, but by the way, we're

577
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: also a beauty. Listen, you're a beautiful mess. Thank you.

578
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: You're a beautiful mess. That's what I am right. It's

579
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: like Jordan Peterson says, and I think Rogan has has

580
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: since kind of regurgitated this too, which is great, about

581
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: what Rogan does. Um and and Um. You know, he said, uh,

582
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: you know, a good man is not a weak man.

583
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: A good man is a dangerous man who could control himself.

584
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: And so I think my journey is just learning to

585
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: control myself better. Right. That's been that's been my you know,

586
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: and and again, brother, I struggle with anxiety. I struggle

587
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 1: with it, and anxiety to me breeds you know that

588
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: fear breeds anger, because I don't want to be afraid.

589
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: I don't want to have anxiety. Do you anxiety? So

590
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: I have an anxiety attack every time I've ever been

591
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: on TV, since two thousand five. Every single time. Yep,

592
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: and nobody knows. Until I wrote it in the book,

593
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: I would I would never write ever. And to that point,

594
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: where as I'm on let's say, the first segment of

595
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: Fox Nfl Sunday, I am, I call it, wrestling with

596
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: my abuser, like I am talking to me, trying to

597
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: get it to release me so I can um just

598
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: go on my merry way and do my damn show

599
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: and be left alone. And like anxiety sits down on

600
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: whatever fucking table it wants to do right. It pulls

601
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: up a chair wherever decides and we don't have a

602
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: control over it. So I've learned how to deal with

603
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: it through some breath work. Laughter helped me a ton,

604
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: so the quicker I could put push a joke out

605
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: whatever I'm doing. So if you watch me on Fox

606
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: and up on Sunday or anything else and I push

607
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: a joke out that doesn't fit, it actually means I'm

608
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: going through a really bad anxiety attack. Wow, but listen,

609
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: whatever you've done for yourself to make to make you

610
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: okay in the moment and when you're on TV, all

611
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 1: that matters is you need to be okay while you're so.

612
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: So No, it's not dangerous anymore. That's I used to

613
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: think I was going to have a heart attack on

614
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: the earth right. Well, every single week it yes, but

615
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: with anxiety and depression specifically, many people have a false

616
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: sense of danger all the time and that you have

617
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: to learn. You have to learn when it's triggered and

618
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 1: you have to make because you're never gonna get rid

619
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: of it, but you have to make a relationship so

620
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: that when it does come and sits on your shoulder,

621
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: you go oh, you're here, something must be going on.

622
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: I need to do such and such right so, because

623
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: to make believe it's gonna go away, you're out of

624
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: your mind. It's never gonna go away. It's never gonna

625
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: go away. But I'M gonna make friends with him, I'm

626
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: gonna make friends with him and I'm gonna talk to

627
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: him and when he shows up, I'm gonna I'm gonna

628
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 1: show him we're not he's not needed, and I'm gonna

629
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: put him back in. And that's and and that's kind

630
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 1: of how I've dealt with it. And you know, I've

631
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: got a gurum my path, by the way. I just

632
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: learned that from you. That's why, Dude, need to talk

633
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: about this like you just talk something a better way

634
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: for me to look at my own anxiety depression. That's

635
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: the beauty of guys like US opening up to each

636
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: other absolutely, and we must pay it forward. Always, always,

637
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: any little bit of information that I take in that

638
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: I find works for me. I'm like, brother, you gotta

639
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: check this out right, like I have a I have

640
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: a guy who I go to and we do amazing

641
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: and intense breathing stuff. We talk. I'll talk about what's

642
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: going on in my life. I'll talk about what's what's,

643
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: what my anxieties are that week and we do forty

644
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: five minutes of extensive breathing to the point where you oh,

645
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: I almost feel like I'm on drugs, like it's almost

646
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: like being on Ayahuasca or a Peyote, but it's not.

647
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: It's just breathing. I've been that. Yeah, and so by

648
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: the end of it I can feel myself having purged

649
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: a lot of this ship. That stopped you right there

650
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: and and it works. And so I tell I've sent

651
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: probably sixty people to him because I said, brother, you've

652
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: got a problem, try this guy once. Many of them

653
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: I'll pay for my I'll pay for the first visit

654
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: because I go there skeptical. I go, do me a favor,

655
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: I'll pay you go and I get the call. Oh

656
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: my God, they go, Oh my God, who is this guy? Like?

657
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: Exactly so. But the y question here before I let

658
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: you go last one, is you pay for it in

659
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: that way, but you're also paying for paying it forward

660
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: in another because the suicide of your your friend, by

661
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: the way, I don't think you've mentioned your friend's name.

662
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was or not, but if

663
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 1: you want to Chris, Chris, Chris Huvane, Chris Huvane, uh,

664
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: I cry eachime. May say his name. M Hold on,

665
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: gonna just just just so you could see him. Uh.

666
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 1: Let me see. Can you see? That's him in the gym.

667
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: You know, I got him, I got him involved in

668
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: boxing a long time ago and I think boxing kept

669
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: him along alive a lot longer than he may have

670
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: been alive if he hadn't been boxing. So, UH, yeah,

671
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: you're also using in Chris's name. You're now paying it forward.

672
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,919
Speaker 1: Talk about what you're doing with your charitable endeavor here. Um, oh, yeah, yeah,

673
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: we I'm involved in a company called contender's clothing, which

674
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 1: we we uh, we have the licensing on many movies

675
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: and fighters. I lead Bruce Lee. We just did the

676
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: Fiftieth Anniversary of the Godfather. We make uh, sports boxing

677
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: shorts and undergarments and t shirts and stuff, and we

678
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: are are in the process of developing a huge mental

679
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: health uh part of the company, donating a large part

680
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: of the portions to mental health organizations to continue to

681
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: raise awareness and help people who don't have the facility

682
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 1: or the money or, you know, or even the economic

683
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 1: or even the knowledge to go get themselves help. Where

684
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: we buy that from? Yeah, you can. You can go

685
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: to contenders dot com, uh, where we're on Instagram, on

686
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: the contenders clothing company. Um. And Uh, you know, a

687
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: portion of the proceeds goes to, uh, several different mental

688
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: health organizations and awareness organizations. Um. And Uh, you know,

689
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: we're we're hoping to become Tyson fury just for our

690
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: shorts in his last fight. We're hoping to become more

691
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: prominent in the in the fight world as well. So, yeah, hopefully, hopefully,

692
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: a lot of people by by the products. Just so,

693
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 1: just so we can get this out there, I'll buy

694
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: some animetry. I wear it on this as well. Moving

695
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,720
Speaker 1: to I'M gonna say I'm gonna send you a bunch

696
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 1: perfect uh. This way you can have in the gym too.

697
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: You can give some of the fights. Yeah, I'll send

698
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 1: you a nice box. Um, and then, you know, and

699
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: what that does also is, you know, another one of

700
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 1: my pillars is being of service. This is you going

701
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: through something horrible and you're being of service to others right,

702
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: which definitely helps us to her own gray brother, you know,

703
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: and I love, I love that terminology. I'm in the

704
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: gray and uh, because that's where I live. That's where

705
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 1: I live and uh, to the point where when I

706
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: when I am in a really good place in the

707
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: sun is shining, there are UNICORNS and the and the blue,

708
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, Oh wow, this this is interesting. Uh,

709
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: it's almost scary. It's almost scary. This is what it is. Yeah,

710
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: and they'll tell you from me when things are like

711
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 1: that for more than two days in a row, I'll

712
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: start to sat sabotage. I'll start right and I want

713
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 1: I want the gray. I know the gray, I don't

714
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: know the blue. So you know, I just had the

715
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: rock and well, I know you know and two other

716
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 1: friends of mine recently, I haven't talk with me, saying, listen,

717
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: you do you think kind of like your brand is

718
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: in the gray, or you're just you think that's where

719
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: you're supposed to reside as well? Yeah, that's what I've

720
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: always been. They said no, no, we need you to

721
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: be in the blue. We need you to operate from

722
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 1: the blue. And I said, what are you talking about?

723
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: They said, well, you're giving people hope who live in

724
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: the gray that you can live in the blue. But

725
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: we think you're almost having this like survivor's guilt, and

726
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: I say one thing in my book is to change

727
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: it to survivor's responsibility. And all three of them are like,

728
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: we need you to start operating from the blue to

729
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: show everybody else there's a way out of the grade

730
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: of the blue. But you have to start being okay

731
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: with being okay and living in the in the blue.

732
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: And it was so funny and you and you brother,

733
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 1: you listening. I think. I know again, it's hard. I

734
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: think what what you're doing is is the real work,

735
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: like it's what human beings at the highest level of

736
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: evolution are doing. You know Um and you do deserve

737
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: it and you want to listen. You're so loved, right.

738
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: You're so loved that people say so many beautiful things

739
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: about you and you're so loved and you've done so

740
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 1: many great things. You deserve and you you have a

741
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: responsibility to live in the blue. You really do. You

742
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: have a responsibility and that's the that's the and those

743
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: are smart men. You have the responsibility to show all

744
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: these people that you're helping and touching on the daily

745
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: that it's there and you're in it. I appreciate and

746
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: it's far to be like you're saying, right and just

747
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: all right. I've got two days in the blue. I

748
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: don't deserve great, I'm coming back. We'll funk it now.

749
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 1: I've just decided. I'm my passport and I'm going fun it.

750
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to go back to that country. I

751
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: want to stay up now. Right, man, that's where I

752
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 1: let you go and ask all my guests. It's your

753
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: unbreakable moment. What's that moment in your life where you're like,

754
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: oh my God, my life just changed, or just man,

755
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 1: it's just things changed. I can exhale for the first time,

756
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: something you overcame, something that could have broken you, but

757
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: did and you yeah, I'll tell you, you you know I did.

758
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to just talk about my career, because that

759
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 1: that was my struggle for a long time. Being an

760
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: actor is not an easy thing to do and uh,

761
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: I had done a movie with Steven Spielberg and Tom

762
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: Cruise called minority report, and I was, you know, he

763
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 1: shot for six months and it was an amazing experience

764
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: and everybody was like this is it, this is your break. Right,

765
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: and I showed up to the premiere of the film

766
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: and no one had told me this, but I had

767
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: been cut out of the movie. WHOA. And I sat

768
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: there with my mother. Holy Ship, she had never she

769
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,439
Speaker 1: had never been to a movie premiere, and I sat

770
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: there with my mother and my brother and well, I

771
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: remember the feeling after fifteen minutes of the movie, and

772
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: then a half hour of the movie, and then forty

773
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: five minutes and then and then in the last frame

774
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: of the movie, My face was in the frame and

775
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: that was it. I said one word and then I

776
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: when I tell you, if I could have taken my

777
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 1: life at that moment, I probably would have, like that's

778
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: the feeling of failure and deflation and that's the end,

779
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: like now I'm done. That's the end. My mother, and

780
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: this is the beauty of mother's my mother turned to

781
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 1: me and, without missing a beat, she said you were

782
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 1: the best thing in that movie. I could cry. You're

783
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: about to make me cry bad and she said You

784
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: were the best thing in that movie. And I and

785
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: I left and for a year I was I didn't

786
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: want to leave my bedroom, I did not want to

787
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: leave my fucking country. And then Steven Spielberg called up

788
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 1: and he brought me in with Tom Hanks, for I

789
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: forgot what movie it was. Now they took me through

790
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: seven or ten auditions. I wound up not getting it,

791
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,879
Speaker 1: but Steven Spielberg pulled me aside and told me why

792
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting it and he told me for a

793
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: half hour like this was this was an exiting interview,

794
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: like he cared and he wanted me to have it,

795
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 1: but it wasn't my to have. But he said this

796
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 1: to me. He said in all my years, he said,

797
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: only you and Harrison Ford don't have a second of

798
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: untruth in your work. And that I went home. I

799
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: forgot about the movie and I was like, okay, now

800
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: I know, I know what I'm doing, I'm gonna keep

801
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 1: doing it and and then, you know, I did warrior

802
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: and then the marvel movies in it all kind of

803
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:52,800
Speaker 1: clicked the place. But that was my breakable, unbreakable moment. Wow, dude,

804
00:41:53,400 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 1: and it was Steven Spieler, man, Oh my God. Yeah, like,

805
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,760
Speaker 1: and listen, listen, and at the end of the day,

806
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 1: when you see something that doesn't go well for a

807
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: friend or a family, you got to turn the negative

808
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 1: into somewhat of a positive. And I don't say it

809
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 1: in a hockey way, but you know, it's like they

810
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: the obvious is in front of them and the obvious

811
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: is what's gonna burden them down for a while. It's

812
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: our job, as as as people who love them and

813
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: are friends and care about them as a human being,

814
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 1: the very least say something else, say something good, say,

815
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,279
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Check in with them,

816
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 1: like uh, it's important that, even if people aren't, you know, depressed,

817
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 1: but in nature going through someone else, but yes, and

818
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: so and so, check in, man, check in, Frank Man,

819
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: I appreciate your vulnerability, man Um, I appreciate you telling

820
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: your story as well, because I think you're gonna help

821
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: a lot of people with this. We help one person, man,

822
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: that's our job. We did our job right. Amen. Amen.

823
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: And as a parent again, everybody out there has mothers

824
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: and fathers and everybody out there somebody's kid, and if

825
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: we can help one of those kids, you know, who

826
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: were grown ups, so be it. Frank Rillo, man, I

827
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 1: appreciate you joining us and, frank, thank you for walking

828
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: this walk together with us. Absolutely always see I love you, brother,