Speaker 1: I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the
Speaker 1: fact that I was not always good at making my
Speaker 1: relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from
Speaker 1: the same person. In other words, I have seen a
Speaker 1: lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I
Speaker 1: am here to share with you what I learned along
Speaker 1: the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the AR Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the R Spot.
Speaker 1: I am a yam La, and this is part two
Speaker 1: of a juicy, Juicy juicy conversation how bad girls become
Speaker 1: good and how good girls go bad? Or flip it around,
Speaker 1: how do good girls go bad and bad girls become good?
Speaker 1: We started the conversation last week with my two guests,
Speaker 1: Beware and Stormy Wellington coach Stormy, who is a reform
Speaker 1: bad girl. She helped me understand that I actually was
Speaker 1: a bad girl. I didn't even know it, but she
Speaker 1: helped me understand that. And I can own it. I
Speaker 1: can own it because the good and bad definition doesn't
Speaker 1: come from the world. It comes from your heart and
Speaker 1: who you become and when you look back and saw
Speaker 1: who you were? What do you call that based on
Speaker 1: who you are today? Well, in this episode, we are
Speaker 1: going to do a deep dive into the complexities of
Speaker 1: the good girl and the bad girl personas. Because it
Speaker 1: is a persona, it's not the truth. It's a part
Speaker 1: of an experience and maybe your history. But at all times,
Speaker 1: in all situations, you have the power to change, to transform.
Speaker 1: Can a bad girl be reformed into a good girl?
Speaker 1: And again, who's defining good and bad? I'm going to
Speaker 1: be joined today again by my two guests, Beware van
Speaker 1: zandt some relationship and coach Stormy Wellington, a reformed bad girl,
Speaker 1: and we're going to unpack these questions, some of them
Speaker 1: that I'm really interested in. Can a man take as
Speaker 1: his wife a reformed bad girl? Can that happen? I mean,
Speaker 1: can he whether she was on the pole or on
Speaker 1: the corner, whether she was a gold digger? Will a
Speaker 1: man marry a woman who acknowledges her past, her history?
Speaker 1: And how exactly does a good girl go bad? What
Speaker 1: makes that happen? And finally, how does a bad girl
Speaker 1: do the work that's required to reform to transform? How
Speaker 1: does she do that? What does she need to do.
Speaker 1: Where does she begin? Where did she find the help?
Speaker 1: We're gonna look at that and so much more as
Speaker 1: we continue today the bad Girl Good Girl conversation. Mister Beware,
Speaker 1: let me ask you this question. Would you wife a stripper?
Speaker 2: Woof? You know I have to be honest. You know
Speaker 2: I understand them. I come from that world. So if
Speaker 2: I was a female, I probably would have been stripping
Speaker 2: versus what I was doing in the street, So I
Speaker 2: don't judge them.
Speaker 1: Would your wife a stripper? If she, let's say, Miss Stormy,
Speaker 1: Miss Stormy who?
Speaker 2: But Miss Stormy says she wasn't promiscuous, so she she
Speaker 2: doesn't have chance. So that means she doesn't have a
Speaker 2: hot body count. Yeah, she.
Speaker 1: Stripping doesn't have anything to do with a body count.
Speaker 1: She was a stripper and a dancer, she wasn't promiscuous.
Speaker 1: Here's the question, mister Beware. Would you wife a stripper
Speaker 1: a woman who hundreds or maybe thousands of men have
Speaker 1: seen on the pole half naked displaying her feminine progress.
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm not. I'm not that strong.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, and miss Stormy get it going, and I.
Speaker 3: Have to say something. I have to say something to you.
Speaker 4: Mister, beware, first of all, I want to I got
Speaker 4: to represent for the women. First of all, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: tell you something. There are so many things we could
Speaker 4: do in energetically and spiritually to release ourself of the
Speaker 4: sperm tithes and the soul ties.
Speaker 3: So I would tell you do not judge a woman
Speaker 3: by that.
Speaker 4: If she's overcome her her past, right, if she's done
Speaker 4: the work. There's a lot of ways that we all
Speaker 4: know that she can get rid of that sperm count
Speaker 4: and she wants to right. And so I think, what
Speaker 4: if this woman has been through something and that has
Speaker 4: made her the woman she is, who is now a
Speaker 4: virtuous woman, who is now a woman who can speak
Speaker 4: to a king. But she was young and she didn't
Speaker 4: have no choice. What what if what if I didn't,
Speaker 4: you know, protect myself from sex, and I had sex
Speaker 4: and I was a stripper. I know for a fact
Speaker 4: that I am no longer what I used to be.
Speaker 4: And as a matter of fact, maybe you should think
Speaker 4: about this, mster. Be where the type of man I
Speaker 4: could tell you are. I don't even know you, but
Speaker 4: I could feel your spirit and I could.
Speaker 3: Hear your tone.
Speaker 4: You come from some stuff that you no longer represent
Speaker 4: what if women judged you by who you.
Speaker 3: Used to be and what you used to do.
Speaker 2: But if you remember, one of the first things I
Speaker 2: said was I can't judge. I said, I won't judge.
Speaker 1: He's the preference that he specifically wouldn't wife A.
Speaker 2: Strip emphasis on that. I want to put a little
Speaker 2: just a little emphasis on it, right, and and just explain.
Speaker 2: I agree with with you said. If she if she
Speaker 2: did her work and she cleansed us, she cleansed herself
Speaker 2: up and cleansed her lafe and now she's a virtual
Speaker 2: woman and moving on an alignment into our divine simon. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm with that. Well, when I say I'm not that strong,
Speaker 2: let me just talk for myself, miss Stormy, right, because yes,
Speaker 2: because I'm sure that I'm not in a place where
Speaker 2: I can be okay if I'm out with my woman,
Speaker 2: and every everywhere we go, she's running into people that
Speaker 2: saw her in that position, that saw her body or
Speaker 2: experience that. Where a man is very protective when it
Speaker 2: comes to his woman, part of our divine nature is
Speaker 2: to protect. So when it comes to our woman, you
Speaker 2: know that that's somebody that we will put our life
Speaker 2: on the line to protect her. So, am I gonna
Speaker 2: put my life on the line for someone that has
Speaker 2: a very spider history who didn't clean it up. No,
Speaker 2: But if she did clean it up and she's moving righteously,
Speaker 2: then then I could definitely could probably look at that. However,
Speaker 2: I'm just wanting to be clear that I'm me personally.
Speaker 2: It'll be hard and most men, it's very hard for
Speaker 2: you to receive that that your woman that was I
Speaker 2: want to Yeah, I'm gonna give it an insight to
Speaker 2: a man's mind really quickly. When your woman is being
Speaker 2: sexual with you, right, you see her, hear her experience
Speaker 2: in a very vulnerable situation and position, but she's submitting
Speaker 2: to that, she's allowing that to take place. So when
Speaker 2: you think about that with one hundred other men and
Speaker 2: now you're running into them when you're out in the street,
Speaker 2: especially in the work that I do, so it may
Speaker 2: be a little challenging for me. For me, some other
Speaker 2: people may be a little stronger at that area than
Speaker 2: I am. But that means a lot to me and me.
Speaker 2: If you know, a man wants a virtuous woman, You
Speaker 2: want a woman that you know, you can feel, you
Speaker 2: feel as if that not saying you're the only one
Speaker 2: because you ain't gonna find virgins out here nowadays, but
Speaker 2: as close as possible you can get to it.
Speaker 1: I'm close to a virgin. I'm a recycled vergin. Let
Speaker 1: me stir the stew just a little bit here, Okay. So,
Speaker 1: a good girl is a virtuous woman who knows who
Speaker 1: she is, who grounded in some level of spirituality, who
Speaker 1: is available and demonstrates her highest potential impossibility most of
Speaker 1: the time unless you pluck a less nerve than she
Speaker 1: coming for you and her. Bad girl is not so
Speaker 1: much one who has had bad behavior if she's reformed.
Speaker 1: But a bad girl is one who doesn't know herself,
Speaker 1: who's not grounded in anything spiritually, who is out for
Speaker 1: what the fun, the excitement, and and really doesn't value
Speaker 1: I think, miss Stormy, she's shaped by the world. That's
Speaker 1: a good, good, good way, Miss Stormy. How does a
Speaker 1: good girl, I know, not from necessity as in your
Speaker 1: story and the story of so many other young women
Speaker 1: out here or who've been out here. How does a
Speaker 1: good girl go bad? I'm thinking of Jasmine Sullivan's song
Speaker 1: Make us sad, make us mad, and then wonder why
Speaker 1: we go bad, Miss Stormy. How does a good girl
Speaker 1: go bad?
Speaker 4: A great course that I will tell you for me,
Speaker 4: I've been there. I think one of the ways the
Speaker 4: good girl goes bad, It could be a lot of ways.
Speaker 4: One of the ways. I think sometime women are desperate.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of women these days are lonely.
Speaker 4: Men are very slim picking. We want to be loved,
Speaker 4: We want some intimacy, we want some sex, we want
Speaker 4: some support. And sometimes we can set off for any
Speaker 4: man just because we need some type of companionship.
Speaker 3: And so next thing, you know, you got a boss
Speaker 3: dating a bond.
Speaker 4: Next thing, you know, you got a queen you know, dating,
Speaker 4: you know, someone that she ain't got no business dating.
Speaker 3: And because she.
Speaker 1: Yeah the magician, uh huh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got you got her dating someone she had
Speaker 4: no business dating. And then she gets caught up because
Speaker 4: a lot of times when a girl is good, she
Speaker 4: comes with perks, and she comes with value.
Speaker 3: She may have a car, she may have a house, she.
Speaker 4: May have some money, and so, uh you know, she she,
Speaker 4: you know, brings a lot of value to this man.
Speaker 4: And then when you start having sex with this man
Speaker 4: and don't let it feel good. You know, now you're
Speaker 4: in trouble, and then a good girl. I tell you,
Speaker 4: most good girls are not promiscuous. So once she sleeps
Speaker 4: with you condom and no condom, she thinks, she said, yeah,
Speaker 4: she thinks to your wife, and she's treating you like
Speaker 4: a king. That treating you like she's your wife when
Speaker 4: you just wanted to, you know, have sex with her,
Speaker 4: or you just want to use her for her car
Speaker 4: or use her for her money, and she falls for
Speaker 4: you believing that she could change you. Because I'm talking
Speaker 4: from my perspective. I've dated in the past and thought,
Speaker 4: because I'm so splunny, wasn'ton. Like I almost was about
Speaker 4: to tell mister be where you talk all that. If
Speaker 4: I wasn't in a relationship and you wasn't married, I
Speaker 4: bet you could change your mind about marrying an ex
Speaker 4: stripper or marrying somebody that was a stripper.
Speaker 3: It depends on the person.
Speaker 1: You better run that resume. No, So I'm just.
Speaker 4: Saying I could change anybody's mind, And I definitely used
Speaker 4: to think that.
Speaker 3: Now that I'm mature and I understand.
Speaker 4: You know, once a man reached into his adulthood, you
Speaker 4: know ages, he has to want to change for himself.
Speaker 4: So when that good girl allows the man to have
Speaker 4: sex with her, oh my god, please don't let her
Speaker 4: release no steaming at her. Oh my god, Please don't
Speaker 4: let him spend the night too many nights. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: please don't let him ride the car. Next you know,
Speaker 4: she falls in love with somebody, and who knows where
Speaker 4: that could go. She says, that's her boyfriend. He think
Speaker 4: they just having sex.
Speaker 3: She claiming him.
Speaker 4: You know, she don't realize he got all kind of
Speaker 4: stuff going on. And next thing you know, she loses
Speaker 4: her stuff worth, She forgets who she is, Her money
Speaker 4: start getting funny, she get fuzzy in her mind, she
Speaker 4: lose clarity of who she is, her standards, and she
Speaker 4: wakes up one day and realizes what have I done?
Speaker 4: And it could be a year, two years. I could
Speaker 4: tell you I fell into that trap for like five years,
Speaker 4: and I woke up one day and I wrote a
Speaker 4: set of new rules that helped me to build back
Speaker 4: my personal virtue. Because just because you got money, you know,
Speaker 4: don't mean that you make good decisions. Just because you're
Speaker 4: brass don't mean you make good decisions. And I'm just
Speaker 4: telling you a lot of women are lonely out here.
Speaker 4: You know a lot of women wants some relationship and
Speaker 4: they'll settle for any man. And then next you know, she.
Speaker 3: Looks up and she turns into a whole other woman.
Speaker 3: She loses herself. So I just want to.
Speaker 4: Say that, you know, really, really a good girl could
Speaker 4: go bad by the wrong man, and the choice that
Speaker 4: she makes in that relationship, on that connection.
Speaker 2: What I want to add to that is that two
Speaker 2: things you talked about, she had a good job or
Speaker 2: money and stuff like that. You know that means something
Speaker 2: to women. Men don't look at women for that. You
Speaker 2: could be if you're attractive and I'm drawing to your energy,
Speaker 2: you could be at McDonald's and I'm gonna try to
Speaker 2: talk to you.
Speaker 3: Well, no, we're talking about how.
Speaker 4: We talked about how a good girl go We talking
Speaker 4: about how a good girl when you.
Speaker 2: Talk about the value, I already mentioned something about value.
Speaker 4: But no, no, no, we're talking about what mister b Well,
Speaker 4: we're talking about a good girl.
Speaker 3: I'm now I'm no longer a bad girl. Right, let's
Speaker 3: change the subject.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm a good girl now either I'm a.
Speaker 2: I'm a good girl.
Speaker 4: I got a nice house. I'm already submissive because that's
Speaker 4: who I am. I've learned the power of feminine energy.
Speaker 4: So I am feminine power because it's feminine power, and
Speaker 4: feminine energy brings a feminine power. So I'm all these things.
Speaker 4: And here comes this man. He's charming me. He's sexy.
Speaker 4: He opens the door for me. He he, he says
Speaker 4: thank you and please. He understand how to be a man.
Speaker 4: And I get tricked right.
Speaker 1: In his mother's basement.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, and this, and he goes to church
Speaker 3: and he prays with me. He holds my hand, he
Speaker 3: kisses me on the forehead. He doesn't try to sleep
Speaker 3: with me fast and throw.
Speaker 1: I fall for him.
Speaker 3: And then we get in the relationship.
Speaker 4: And next you know, I find out that he lives
Speaker 4: in his mother's basement, he had bad credit, he doesn't
Speaker 4: have no health on kids, he's not grounded spiritually, he
Speaker 4: has no vent to a no coach. And I find
Speaker 4: out that he's a bomb and he's been barring his
Speaker 4: mom car. And next you know, we've slept with each
Speaker 4: other and he could in bed and we did it
Speaker 4: with no condom. Oh my god, that I posted him
Speaker 4: on my Instagram page. Now, how do I get out
Speaker 4: of that? Now?
Speaker 3: My self estimous effect.
Speaker 1: Kids.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying there?
Speaker 2: What I would say to that? He's what I would
Speaker 2: say to that. And I'm a share one of Missila's
Speaker 2: famous quotes, wonder for from more all of our books,
Speaker 2: but specifically acts of faith that we draw to us. Uh.
Speaker 2: People come into our life by energetic invitation. Right, So
Speaker 2: there was something that that sister needed to clean up.
Speaker 2: He'll learn see about herself that maybe she was us
Speaker 2: seeing that ladship brought it to the surface. For now.
Speaker 2: On an external one may say what I was a
Speaker 2: bad situation, But if this, if that, if that's that
Speaker 2: woman was able to learn, if she was able to
Speaker 2: get whatever it was that life was trying to teach
Speaker 2: her through that relationship, it wasn't a bad situation. But
Speaker 2: if she wasn't already on that channel, if those issues
Speaker 2: weren't in her, if it wasn't something she needed to
Speaker 2: clean up and heal, she would have never drawn that
Speaker 2: man to her. So it was something that she needed
Speaker 2: to see in herself. Miss Storming, That's what I was.
Speaker 4: So wat's this big whare I love that? But I
Speaker 4: love to be authentic and transparent. My mom died August
Speaker 4: twenty six, twenty eleven. I'm holding her hand. I thought
Speaker 4: my mom was coming home from the hospital. That I
Speaker 4: thought she was coming home from the hospital that day.
Speaker 4: I'm a millionaire. I'm riding around and Benzi's and cadillect trucks.
Speaker 4: I'm doing big things in the world, and I'm a boss, right,
Speaker 4: But then I've watched my mom take her last breath.
Speaker 4: When you lose your mom, you feel like you're in
Speaker 4: the world by yourself. It feels empty, right, And so
Speaker 4: I meet this guy who is Prince Charming. He's handsome,
Speaker 4: he has a great job, he takes military he's doing
Speaker 4: I mean, we will celebrate. We go to church, We
Speaker 4: read the Bible, you know. He opens the door, he
Speaker 4: kisses me on the fore here. He tells me he
Speaker 4: loves me. He tells me I'm pretty, He's he's everything,
Speaker 4: well endowed all of that, And I got tricked. And
Speaker 4: you're right, I had lost myself because I lost my mom.
Speaker 3: So, yes, I do believe.
Speaker 4: That I invited this man in my life by energetic invitation.
Speaker 4: I accept that's what I did. But I lost myself
Speaker 4: so much in that relationship that if I didn't find
Speaker 4: myself again. I can't tell you where I will be
Speaker 4: right now, and so I just want whoever watches this
Speaker 4: or here's this interview, shall I say to know that
Speaker 4: those energetic invitations they can expire, and when you change,
Speaker 4: go higher after those energetic relationationships fall off, and know
Speaker 4: that it is okay that that season is over. I
Speaker 4: marry this man. I'm fighting that decision right now. So
Speaker 4: I'm still dealing with something that I invited through energetic invitation.
Speaker 4: But I also didn't next. I didn't act for that.
Speaker 4: I didn't ask to watch my mom take her last breath.
Speaker 4: But I do realize that what does a kivy made
Speaker 4: me stronger and what I experienced with that invitation is
Speaker 4: now a gift. And I'm here for women to advocate
Speaker 4: for them, to tell them be careful where you have
Speaker 4: kids with, Be careful when you do what you do
Speaker 4: when your emotions is high, because when your emotions is high,
Speaker 4: your logic is low, and you may pay for that
Speaker 4: decision for years. What if you catch a herpes or
Speaker 4: something else you can't cure? So yes, it's sexually transmitted diseases.
Speaker 4: That spiritually transmitted diseases that we got to be careful love.
Speaker 4: So I accept what I did, but I know that
Speaker 4: it's not a life sentence. It was just a part
Speaker 4: of the story.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about that right after the spring. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the R spot. Let's get back to the conversation.
Speaker 1: You're dropping so many gems. But I don't want people
Speaker 1: to think they're rhyme stone, So let me just reiterate
Speaker 1: what Miss Stormy has said. She says, when that thing
Speaker 1: you just said and help me brain work with me.
Speaker 1: You said, when you're high in your emotions, you are
Speaker 1: low in logic. Hear that, ladies, because energy moves you.
Speaker 1: Emotions are the energy that moves you. So when you
Speaker 1: move in fast and your feelings, you were gonna be
Speaker 1: deficit in your thinking. I love that again. It brings
Speaker 1: me to the words of Jasmine Sullivan in her song,
Speaker 1: which she says, treat us bad, make us sad, and
Speaker 1: then wonder why we're mad. Mister beware, do you think
Speaker 1: that some bad girls are just mad?
Speaker 2: Ad?
Speaker 1: The ones who are aggressive in there speaking, the ones
Speaker 1: who are disrespectful and emasculating toward men. Is it not
Speaker 1: that they want to be bad, but they're mad and
Speaker 1: they haven't done the work that miss Stormy does. Is
Speaker 1: that a possibility.
Speaker 2: Mister beware, No, that's that's definitely you hit the nail
Speaker 2: right on the head. Stormy Stormy. She explained it well,
Speaker 2: you know, she said that she she can't join awareness,
Speaker 2: you know that awareness, that's where it started for her.
Speaker 2: And she started doing work and then she raised herself
Speaker 2: above that that energy, that energetic invitation when she said
Speaker 2: expired and and and that's for everybody. That's for all
Speaker 2: of the sisters and for men, also for men also
Speaker 2: because again, if you if the brother is drawing a
Speaker 2: woman and this is how he's showing up, then she
Speaker 2: her her pain. What she's experienced in him is the
Speaker 2: invitation for him to pay attention.
Speaker 1: Not to take advantage of her pay.
Speaker 2: But that's what happens. Is like the sister that not
Speaker 2: growled in the knowledge of self, the brother that's not
Speaker 2: growled in the knowledge of self. Let me tell you
Speaker 2: how he is right, because I don't want to put
Speaker 2: it on the sisters. He's a predator. He's a he
Speaker 2: is out there looking for the pray how a lion
Speaker 2: is linking for that gazelle, that that wounded gazel, that
Speaker 2: one that's easy to pounce on. He's doing the same
Speaker 2: exact thing, and when he sees it, his antennas are
Speaker 2: growing up and he's going in for the kill. So
Speaker 2: so so it's what you said, Stormy. When when sisters
Speaker 2: make a rational, a quick decision, emotionally right or impulsively,
Speaker 2: that's what he's looking for. He's hoping she does that. Heah,
Speaker 2: you're looking for that.
Speaker 1: Here's another possibility. She's living her wounds. She's living from
Speaker 1: her woundedness, not from her wellness. She's living from her pain,
Speaker 1: not from her power. And he is really doing the
Speaker 1: same thing. Because a man, a king who diminishes or
Speaker 1: demoralizes a quing, he's living from his wound. He's living
Speaker 1: from his pain. So those two things, they say opposites attract,
Speaker 1: But in truth, you will attract the frequency of your
Speaker 1: own wound. So they are all kinds of possibilities that
Speaker 1: bring them together to the ladies out there, And thank you,
Speaker 1: Jasmine Sullivan for bringing it to our awareness. If he's
Speaker 1: treating you bad and he's making you sad, don't get mad,
Speaker 1: get well, because if you get it, running for your life.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing that concerns me, and I say it,
Speaker 1: you know very clearly, I do not have a high
Speaker 1: body count. But I can confess to being a bad
Speaker 1: girl because I had a bad character, and I had
Speaker 1: a bad character because I was living from my wounds.
Speaker 1: And what that bad character looked like for me is
Speaker 1: what I call my hair was on fire. I wasn't
Speaker 1: honest with myself or him. You know. I let him
Speaker 1: think that certain things were acceptable when they weren't. I
Speaker 1: wasn't accountable to myself for what I wanted, what I needed,
Speaker 1: and I didn't hold him accountable for his behavior. My
Speaker 1: personal integrity was smoldering in a heap on the floor.
Speaker 1: I said one thing, thought one thing, felt something else,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't responsible for myself. I wanted him to
Speaker 1: make me happy. I wanted him to pay the rent.
Speaker 1: I wanted him to, you know, do everything I wanted
Speaker 1: him to do. So my hair was on fire. That's
Speaker 1: what gave me bad character. I would never cuss a man.
Speaker 1: I would never do things to emasculate him outwardly. Inwardly
Speaker 1: I would, but outwardly I wouldn't. And so my point
Speaker 1: is to our listeners, is a bad girl isn't just
Speaker 1: a stripper or a dancer. You know, it's the one
Speaker 1: who's rot is on the inside. Now Howard shows up
Speaker 1: on the outside. Maybe what can he give me? What
Speaker 1: can he buy me? Because I've heard young women say
Speaker 1: this on the tiki tak or whatever that thing is.
Speaker 1: You know, I want a man that makes six figures.
Speaker 1: I want a man who can do this. And she
Speaker 1: don't have a high school diploma. To me, that's a
Speaker 1: bad girl. Is that accurate? Miss Stormy?
Speaker 4: Well, you know I love you with the love, but
Speaker 4: I dropped out of school in the tenth grade.
Speaker 3: But you didn't graduate from high school. I when I
Speaker 3: didn't go to college.
Speaker 1: No, that's when you were a bad girl. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about today, in today's world, women who have made the
Speaker 1: choice again, no judgment, no heed about it. But she's
Speaker 1: made the choice that as opposed to growing herself. Like
Speaker 1: I heard Ace Metaphors say this. He said, sisters are
Speaker 1: getting their hair done, they're getting the nail done, they
Speaker 1: going to the gym and growing their body, but they're
Speaker 1: not growing their spiritual foundation. He said. If you grow
Speaker 1: your spiritual foundation, you can tell from ten feet away
Speaker 1: that he ain't the one for you. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: is it a bad girl. A woman who does all
Speaker 1: of the physical stuff, looks good, sounds good, smells good,
Speaker 1: and expects the man to make her whole. See, to me,
Speaker 1: that's a bad girl. Do you understand what I mean?
Speaker 4: I agree because I further I believe in the power
Speaker 4: of the master mind alliance. And what if you get
Speaker 4: with the king in your bank, you just affected a
Speaker 4: few of the men that we got left. So if
Speaker 4: a bad girl gets with the king, now he forgets
Speaker 4: his words.
Speaker 3: We just created a bigger problem.
Speaker 4: So absolutely, I think when a woman identifies with her
Speaker 4: weaknesses and where she can grow. If she does that
Speaker 4: and she works on it and she accepts where she is,
Speaker 4: oh that's a good girl all day long. But if
Speaker 4: you are in denial about who you are and where
Speaker 4: you need to grow, and you act like it's okay.
Speaker 4: You ever heard this saying when people say you know
Speaker 4: it is what it is, this is who I am?
Speaker 3: You know, taking a lead that said that a lot today,
Speaker 3: that's eigering. So when you identify where you are and
Speaker 3: who you are and where.
Speaker 4: You can grow, even if you're in the midst of
Speaker 4: there right now, to me, and you're willing to change
Speaker 4: your character, and you know that that is within your
Speaker 4: reach just because you're working on it. As you are
Speaker 4: working on it, I think you should already start seeing
Speaker 4: yourself as a good girl. But if you are in
Speaker 4: denial and you're just staying just nasty and your character
Speaker 4: is bad, and you know you domasculate man and you
Speaker 4: commiss you with and you're just like, oh, well, yeah,
Speaker 4: you all the way back you you you mods were
Speaker 4: just throwing a toweling, you.
Speaker 1: Know, mister b ware, here's a question for you. Can
Speaker 1: a man inspire a bad girl to be good? Okay?
Speaker 1: Tell me how? How does he inspire her to do that?
Speaker 2: There's a teaching that the nation is and that is
Speaker 2: so I spoke on it earlier. But when you look
Speaker 2: at the sun right, what the sun does when it shines,
Speaker 2: it gives off light. That light that the sun gives
Speaker 2: off enables us to see. Not only does it enable
Speaker 2: us to see, but it enables us to have the
Speaker 2: food that we need to keep our laps going. Not
Speaker 2: only does it enable us to see and provide us
Speaker 2: with food that we need to have our labs go,
Speaker 2: but it also protects us from harmful elements of the universe.
Speaker 2: So the sun protects, it provides, and it leads. So
Speaker 2: that's the job of a man. So a grounded a
Speaker 2: man that's grounded and the knowledge of himself, and he's
Speaker 2: shining that light on the moon. That moon is going
Speaker 2: to show up, and she's going to receive that light
Speaker 2: from the sun. She's going to begin on a take
Speaker 2: on his ways, or take on his habits, to take
Speaker 2: on his patterns. And what happens with that is at
Speaker 2: first it's more nature taking course. Well, what happens a
Speaker 2: period of time, and I can speak from my own
Speaker 2: personal experiences, is that now it begins to set in
Speaker 2: and she begins to be almost like a female representation
Speaker 2: of the man.
Speaker 1: Miss Stormy. Let me ask you this question because I've
Speaker 1: heard it on you know, and it disturbs me. I
Speaker 1: heard it when men say women today are this, they're
Speaker 1: too aggressive, and they're to this, and they're to that,
Speaker 1: and they only want money and they want a man
Speaker 1: who does this, and they ain't bringing nothing to the table,
Speaker 1: and all of these things I hear and mostly among young,
Speaker 1: the youngsters, the youngins how does as a woman, how
Speaker 1: would you as a woman if you're a bad girl
Speaker 1: or you're a recovering bad girl. What is it that
Speaker 1: you would want a man to be and do? Notice
Speaker 1: I said be and do that would inspire you to
Speaker 1: go good.
Speaker 3: So great question. I want to say. I'm in a
Speaker 3: relationship right now.
Speaker 4: I've been in this relationship for a little over a year,
Speaker 4: and this is honestly the first man and I just
Speaker 4: take to say this, but the first man that I
Speaker 4: want to respect. He's very alpha, very alpha. We've been
Speaker 4: in almost a year and a half. He opens the
Speaker 4: door still, he's still whenever we were together. We don't
Speaker 4: live with each other. He wakes up with good energy
Speaker 4: and he sings good morning. He makes me feel protected.
Speaker 4: He lives in his house. I live in my house.
Speaker 4: Does he pay my bills? I pay my own bills
Speaker 4: when when I'm married. However, the way he shows up
Speaker 4: in the world, me watching him as a father, me
Speaker 4: watching him as a friend, me watching him take care
Speaker 4: of himself, me watching him do manly things, makes me
Speaker 4: want to respect him. But when I look at when
Speaker 4: women are emasculating and rude, like I have friends like that.
Speaker 3: I have some rich friends.
Speaker 4: Women and they're single, and I'm telling you, I watch
Speaker 4: them and I look at their body language. I'm look
Speaker 4: at how they talk, and I'm like, what man will want?
Speaker 4: Will want that? What man would want a woman that
Speaker 4: that treats the light? I'm dating another man. It's like,
Speaker 4: come on, man, I don't care how rich you. I
Speaker 4: don't even care how pretty old weave is. I want
Speaker 4: you to touch me on my back when I'm driving.
Speaker 4: I want you to, you know, put your hand on
Speaker 4: my leg.
Speaker 3: I want you to know.
Speaker 4: I want you to kids my cheek too. I want
Speaker 4: you to rub my back. You ain't got to give
Speaker 4: me no big time aside, but I want you to
Speaker 4: rub my bak too. I want you know, I want
Speaker 4: me personally. I think the man should pay for the
Speaker 4: meals and the dates. But if the woman want to
Speaker 4: take her man on a date and pay every now
Speaker 4: and then, what's wrong with that? So I just think
Speaker 4: that you know, the roles have changed and it shouldn't
Speaker 4: be about money.
Speaker 3: It should be about like the character. If a man.
Speaker 4: Shows up as a man and he shows you are
Speaker 4: kingly qualities, he is deeply rooted in whatever his spiritual
Speaker 4: practices is.
Speaker 3: He knows that he is not a god. He is
Speaker 3: of a god, and not a god, but.
Speaker 4: Of and he knows how to affirm me like I
Speaker 4: love the five love languages. One of my powerful love
Speaker 4: languages is I love words of affirmation and quality time.
Speaker 4: I'm always working, I'm always busy, but if you can
Speaker 4: remind me of who I am, speak to the queen
Speaker 4: in me. You know, when you feel like I'm a
Speaker 4: little discouraged, you pump me up. I pump you back up.
Speaker 4: That gets me just spired up. And so, just to
Speaker 4: answer your question, I think that, yeah, you know, we
Speaker 4: as women have to respect that. This is twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: This is not back in the old days. We do
Speaker 4: input the man. But I respect my man, and I'm
Speaker 4: gonna be honest with you. I'm so happy, like I
Speaker 4: never met a man that makes me want to make
Speaker 4: his play and put the napkin down and pick up
Speaker 4: the playing. And baby wants something to drink, I call
Speaker 4: him baby, Baby wants something to drink. When he's talking,
Speaker 4: I look at him, I don't say I gotta go pee.
Speaker 4: I be right back, my baby. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the restroom.
Speaker 4: Okay when a fall, When my fall rings and he's talking,
Speaker 4: if I have to take the call, I'm gonnay, excuse me,
Speaker 4: baby one minute, let me take this call. The old
Speaker 4: one would be like, hello, he talking, you know when
Speaker 4: he opens my door for me? Every time he opens
Speaker 4: the door. Y'all gonna love this. Every time I say
Speaker 4: thank you every time, not like like he's supposed to
Speaker 4: do it. So I love making him feel like a king.
Speaker 4: And I didn't know the power that's reciprocated in the
Speaker 4: and the energy that comes back to me when I
Speaker 4: give it to him. And I tell you this, there's
Speaker 4: been times where he made me feel some kind of
Speaker 4: way and I want to stay. Like the old we
Speaker 4: would have been, like who you think you talking to her?
Speaker 4: I just to be quiet and I play some music
Speaker 4: and I'll start dancing like a woman off some feminist song,
Speaker 4: not talking to him, but just act like it didn't
Speaker 4: bother me. And he'll come back and he'll say, I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: I know that was wrong, and I don't even say nothing,
Speaker 4: so I need to be compet I don't do that
Speaker 4: no more.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, Miss Stormy, does your
Speaker 1: does your boo have a brother? Right?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 5: That?
Speaker 2: Mis mss Stormy, I really appreciate you for sharing that,
Speaker 2: because you know a lot of it's like in my
Speaker 2: own experiences, those small things that men will open up
Speaker 2: the door and and and being protective, like, you know,
Speaker 2: I really appreciate the fact that you appreciate it. And
Speaker 2: then you're speaking to that because a lot of sisters
Speaker 2: from just talking to them and what I'm seeing a
Speaker 2: lot on social media and Instagram's reflective of how the
Speaker 2: dating scene is. Then you know they sisters need to
Speaker 2: hear that. And why and why I'm saying from you
Speaker 2: is because when they told me that you were the
Speaker 2: co host, I looked you up and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I heard of this. I heard of this, sister before.
Speaker 2: Your name has come up in a couple of times
Speaker 2: of people were stating or where we're citing things that
Speaker 2: you said, young sisters, to the fact that you're on
Speaker 2: this call and you're saying what you're saying, I really
Speaker 2: appreciate and I just want to acknowledge that.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I think that's so beautiful. Thank you, Beware, thank you,
Speaker 1: Miss Stormy. Good girl's gone bad, bad girls becoming good.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk more about that right after this.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the R Spot. Let's get back to
Speaker 1: the conversation. Here is something that I think creates a
Speaker 1: lot of friction and will make a good girl bad
Speaker 1: and make a bad girl lose her mind. And that
Speaker 1: is the word submissive. Miss Stormy as a recovered bad
Speaker 1: girl as a boss, because you are a boss, but
Speaker 1: your bossness comes from the inside, not from the outside.
Speaker 1: I think that's a distinction too, that a lot of
Speaker 1: women don't make. They think the boss is in their
Speaker 1: behavior and in their words, and not from their heart
Speaker 1: and their soul. But as a bad girl who's recovered
Speaker 1: as a boss, as a spiritually grounded woman, as a
Speaker 1: self aware woman in a relationship, how would you define
Speaker 1: intoday's world submissive? How would you differ?
Speaker 4: First of all, I would say, ladies, submission is sexy. Yes,
Speaker 4: submission is sexy. Yes, where you find a king? And
Speaker 4: I got to be honest. I used to be the
Speaker 4: woman that would call you a king, and you was
Speaker 4: no king at all.
Speaker 5: I was just.
Speaker 1: Your hair was on fire. You wasn't being host accountable,
Speaker 1: having integrity or responsibility.
Speaker 3: No, ma'am, no, ma'am.
Speaker 4: And I was fate trying to be, you know, acquaint
Speaker 4: to somebody that wasn't even a king. But when a
Speaker 4: man shows kingly qualities, Like, I tell you something one
Speaker 4: of my mentors told me. He said, if a man
Speaker 4: sleep late, talk slow, all right, you better run fast.
Speaker 4: If a man sleeplate and talk slow and walk slow,
Speaker 4: you better run fast. And I want to stay that
Speaker 4: right now because I believe, like like mister b Ware said,
Speaker 4: a man's qualities does impact a woman and influences a woman.
Speaker 4: If he has his own I call it Chris. You
Speaker 4: gonna like this, Yanda, I call it Chris. What does
Speaker 4: Chris mean? A man has credit? He cares about this Craig.
Speaker 4: He takes care of his credit. That's the seeing Chris.
Speaker 4: H he has some type of health through team rather,
Speaker 4: he works out, He does something to keep his body
Speaker 4: in shape. That's the age, the r real estate. He
Speaker 4: got a place to live. Men these days better they know.
Speaker 4: They don't even have their own plate sofa surfing. Yes,
Speaker 4: they don't have play. If they have a home, that's beautiful.
Speaker 4: If he has some type of investments. If you're dating
Speaker 4: a man in his forties, in his fifties, he hasn't
Speaker 4: set himself up to make no type of passive income.
Speaker 4: He don't have no type of business. That's to me,
Speaker 4: that's dangerous. And then asking Chris is support. It is
Speaker 4: spiritual support. If you have a man to have Chris,
Speaker 4: that is a man worthy of being submissive with because
Speaker 4: you're gonna help even empower him the war, so credit, health,
Speaker 4: real estate, investments and a support and a spiritual support team.
Speaker 3: Is a man that you should want to submit to because.
Speaker 4: Now y'all have that power of that master amount alliance
Speaker 4: and bigger things are going to happen because you're bringing
Speaker 4: out the best in him and because you're bringing out
Speaker 4: the best in him, like Mester b Where's said, He's
Speaker 4: gonna bring out the best in you. And that is
Speaker 4: the man that you submit to. Other than that, don't submit.
Speaker 1: I want to give him a last name. His name,
Speaker 1: first name Chris, last name v v I. He gotta
Speaker 1: have vision and he gotta have integrity, right Chris vi I,
Speaker 1: that's his name. Mister Beware, As a man in today's world,
Speaker 1: how would you define submissive or submit?
Speaker 2: Whether today's world or yesterday's world, I think is still
Speaker 2: the same because that submission is that feminine activating, that
Speaker 2: feminine energy of God in you. I heard miss Anna
Speaker 2: say one time one of her one of our lectures,
Speaker 2: she said, to be a woman's to allow the feminine
Speaker 2: energy to vibrate in you as you at its highest frequency.
Speaker 2: So what does that mean? So that's that would mean
Speaker 2: that you're tapped into what God is in you. So
Speaker 2: submission with me to tap into what God is in you.
Speaker 2: And as a woman, that's that feminine energy. But that's
Speaker 2: strength to tap into God. And as a lot of
Speaker 2: what you said, what you for you and Stormy spoke
Speaker 2: up earlier sisters that are in tapped into that, it's
Speaker 2: impossible for them to be submissive if they're not tapped
Speaker 2: into God, because that God energy is going to allow
Speaker 2: them to be submissive. And like like Stormy said, it's
Speaker 2: going to be sexy, it's going to be fun. I'm
Speaker 2: pretty sure it's got to be very liberated for a
Speaker 2: woman to be who God designed her to be. Because
Speaker 2: this world is trying to shape us and move us
Speaker 2: and narrate us, navigate us so many directions that it
Speaker 2: is so easy to lose yourself. So to be grounded
Speaker 2: with self and with self, to be grounded and that
Speaker 2: femini energy as a woman to be submissive, that means
Speaker 2: you're speaking to the God and your man because you're
Speaker 2: tapped into God and that feminine energy. That means that
Speaker 2: you know, even if they're upset, I hear this is
Speaker 2: something else I heard. Yah. Let's say she said, you know,
Speaker 2: let's hear front carefront me versus confront me. You know,
Speaker 2: it's a it's a different conversation that you bring in
Speaker 2: even when there's a challenge of evenings on the table.
Speaker 2: So that submission looks like her being that that representation
Speaker 2: of God within her and she's showing it. So it
Speaker 2: comes from the inside out and it's in the step
Speaker 2: happening the power one of the Alas books tapping the
Speaker 2: power within, so that that's what it would look like
Speaker 2: when you when you're being submissive, you're tapping the power within,
Speaker 2: and that power within is the God in that feminine energy.
Speaker 1: That's see well that I think what many women haven't
Speaker 1: been taught. And you can tell me, miss Stormy, your
Speaker 1: take on this. First of all, there are very few
Speaker 1: demonstrations of feminine power in the world. In my mind,
Speaker 1: the greatest one that I've seen is my first kating
Speaker 1: Michelle Obama. She is a walking, living, breathing talking demonstration
Speaker 1: of feminine power. One of the things that I've learned
Speaker 1: about feminine power that I think many women miss is
Speaker 1: the number one essence of feminine power is silence. You know,
Speaker 1: the sun comes up in the day when people are
Speaker 1: hustling and bustling, the moon comes up at night when
Speaker 1: it's quiet, everybody's sleep. And women don't appreciate the power
Speaker 1: of silence because when you're silent, what happens is your
Speaker 1: heart speaks. I think the other thing that women don't
Speaker 1: appreciate about feminine power is that it is nurturing, nourishing.
Speaker 1: It is appreciative, it is appreciative, and it is affirming.
Speaker 1: So as we learn to nourish ourselves and nourish others,
Speaker 1: nurture ourselves and nurture others, as we learn to appreciate
Speaker 1: every good thing, every good thing, and appreciate even the
Speaker 1: bad things, because as you said, Miss Stormy, they're coming
Speaker 1: to teach us something. And as we learn to affirm
Speaker 1: as opposed to criticize, judge, condemned, gossip, tear down to fame.
Speaker 1: The level of deformation in the world today, particularly by
Speaker 1: women on social media. You know, it's just to me,
Speaker 1: I just I don't even know how to calculate it. Misstorman,
Speaker 1: let me say this to you. I love you, and
Speaker 1: I am so proud of who you are demonstrating God
Speaker 1: in the feminine physical form as a woman. I think
Speaker 1: what you what you have done with your heart, not
Speaker 1: with your life, because God gave you life, but what
Speaker 1: you've done with your heart to turn your life around,
Speaker 1: is a testimony to the power of grace and mercy,
Speaker 1: both of which are feminine aspects of God. Anything, at
Speaker 1: any time, any place, anywhere, you need me. You you
Speaker 1: call me, and I'm just I'm just I'm just proud
Speaker 1: of you. I'm just grinning over here.
Speaker 3: You today have validated that everything.
Speaker 4: That I believe about what you deserve and and how
Speaker 4: you will align with your people in time. This, this
Speaker 4: conversation today has validated for me that I am growing
Speaker 4: and I'm really just getting started. You know, mister, be
Speaker 4: where I can quote with you, So I think I
Speaker 4: throw one of my favorite quotes. See he getting all
Speaker 4: the brownie points. I want some bo Okay. You say
Speaker 4: to your yo, your willingness to look at your darkness
Speaker 4: is what empowers you to change. And I tell you
Speaker 4: one of my favorite books is them. I read it
Speaker 4: every single day. This book changed my life right and
Speaker 4: I look in my darkness every single day, and before
Speaker 4: I go to bed, I asked myself, did I do
Speaker 4: well with my day?
Speaker 3: Did I show up? Did I serve humanity with my day?
Speaker 4: Even in the pain, even then the trauma, even in
Speaker 4: the bs, I still ask myself did I serve my fellows,
Speaker 4: sisters and men today? And before I go to bed,
Speaker 4: when I say yes, I am proud to go to
Speaker 4: sleep knowing that I deserve rest, to wake up willing
Speaker 4: and ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
Speaker 3: I do need your help. I'll tell you this. I
Speaker 3: serve a community of women that are the least, the last,
Speaker 3: and the lost.
Speaker 4: And when they see me as a highly school drop
Speaker 4: ex stripper, I used to be on food stamp Station eight.
Speaker 3: I have three kids, three different.
Speaker 1: Like me, was wealthire, I had food stamps. I have
Speaker 1: three children by three different men. Yeah, my.
Speaker 2: Mother had foodstamps too, and she was on.
Speaker 1: Women's conversation. Get over there and be submissive.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that, but I gotta say that.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you women that's listening to this right now,
Speaker 4: if you want an alpha man that could partake you,
Speaker 4: that could provide for you, that could reinforce you and
Speaker 4: revalidate you and aedify you. You are going to have
Speaker 4: to learn silence because if you be combative, it looks
Speaker 4: really tacky. When you could learn to be quiet when
Speaker 4: he's going crazy or when he's not being what you need.
Speaker 4: Be quiet and be patient and do go back and
Speaker 4: address the situation when the energy is clear. Don't be
Speaker 4: confrontational with no king or no man. Let the dust settle,
Speaker 4: let the energy you know, kind of diminish and go down,
Speaker 4: and then come back and say, baby, I want to
Speaker 4: ask you a question, what does you mean by what
Speaker 4: you what you said or that really hurt my feelings
Speaker 4: when you said what you said?
Speaker 3: And I really love when you do x y Z
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it, mister Bware. I want to I want
Speaker 1: to thank you. I want to thank you for being
Speaker 1: a voice for the voiceless, because so any men today
Speaker 1: women talk so much and haven't been taught how to
Speaker 1: listen or how to hear. So I want to thank you.
Speaker 1: I hope that you have felt honored and respected. I
Speaker 1: thank you for your voice today to be a voice
Speaker 1: for the voiceless, a voice for those who get overtalked,
Speaker 1: who get underheard, and who get diminished and dismissed. Thank
Speaker 1: you so very much for being here. I want to
Speaker 1: thank all my listeners today. I hope that you have
Speaker 1: heard something here today about bad girls, good girls submission.
Speaker 1: I hope that you got some of them gems that
Speaker 1: they dropped. I couldn't even write fast enough, but I
Speaker 1: got this. When you high an emotion, you low in thinking,
Speaker 1: and that your energetic invitation has an expiration date. Thank you,
Speaker 1: and see for me, as an elder to have a
Speaker 1: young and take something that I said and expanded that
Speaker 1: just puts hair on my chest. And since I'm unpartnered
Speaker 1: right now, I can have a few little hairs on
Speaker 1: my chests. But Stormy gonna hook me up with her
Speaker 1: booze brother. Thank you for tuning in, Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: We will be back real soon and in the meantime,
Speaker 1: stay in peace and not in pieces.
Speaker 5: Bye.
Speaker 1: The R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in
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