WEBVTT - What Makes a Good Girl Go Bad? 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:05.320 I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:08.440 fact that I was not always good at making my 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:12.799 relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:15.720 the same person. In other words, I have seen a 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:20.360 lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.759 am here to share with you what I learned along 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:27.440 the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:31.640 the AR Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:49.280 with iHeartRadio. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the R Spot. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.360 I am a yam La, and this is part two 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:58.600 of a juicy, Juicy juicy conversation how bad girls become 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:02.480 good and how good girls go bad? Or flip it around, 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:06.480 how do good girls go bad and bad girls become good? 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:11.400 We started the conversation last week with my two guests, 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:18.280 Beware and Stormy Wellington coach Stormy, who is a reform 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:22.400 bad girl. She helped me understand that I actually was 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:24.440 a bad girl. I didn't even know it, but she 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:27.560 helped me understand that. And I can own it. I 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:31.800 can own it because the good and bad definition doesn't 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.800 come from the world. It comes from your heart and 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.559 who you become and when you look back and saw 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:41.080 who you were? What do you call that based on 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:44.600 who you are today? Well, in this episode, we are 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:50.040 going to do a deep dive into the complexities of 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.800 the good girl and the bad girl personas. Because it 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:57.240 is a persona, it's not the truth. It's a part 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:01.520 of an experience and maybe your history. But at all times, 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:06.480 in all situations, you have the power to change, to transform. 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:11.640 Can a bad girl be reformed into a good girl? 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:15.160 And again, who's defining good and bad? I'm going to 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:20.040 be joined today again by my two guests, Beware van 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:26.840 zandt some relationship and coach Stormy Wellington, a reformed bad girl, 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.720 and we're going to unpack these questions, some of them 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:35.640 that I'm really interested in. Can a man take as 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:41.480 his wife a reformed bad girl? Can that happen? I mean, 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:43.720 can he whether she was on the pole or on 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:48.040 the corner, whether she was a gold digger? Will a 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:52.680 man marry a woman who acknowledges her past, her history? 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:58.320 And how exactly does a good girl go bad? What 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:05.000 makes that happen? And finally, how does a bad girl 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:11.440 do the work that's required to reform to transform? How 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.160 does she do that? What does she need to do. 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:15.280 Where does she begin? Where did she find the help? 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.800 We're gonna look at that and so much more as 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:33.200 we continue today the bad Girl Good Girl conversation. Mister Beware, 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:38.119 let me ask you this question. Would you wife a stripper? 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:43.680 Woof? You know I have to be honest. You know 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:51.320 I understand them. I come from that world. So if 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:54.760 I was a female, I probably would have been stripping 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.680 versus what I was doing in the street, So I 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.600 don't judge them. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:05.320 Would your wife a stripper? If she, let's say, Miss Stormy, 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:07.080 Miss Stormy who? 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.480 But Miss Stormy says she wasn't promiscuous, so she she 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.680 doesn't have chance. So that means she doesn't have a 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:14.520 hot body count. Yeah, she. 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.320 Stripping doesn't have anything to do with a body count. 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.239 She was a stripper and a dancer, she wasn't promiscuous. 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:27.520 Here's the question, mister Beware. Would you wife a stripper 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:32.240 a woman who hundreds or maybe thousands of men have 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:38.359 seen on the pole half naked displaying her feminine progress. 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:46.520 No, No, I'm not. I'm not that strong. 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.240 Go ahead, and miss Stormy get it going, and I. 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.920 Have to say something. I have to say something to you. 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:55.080 Mister, beware, first of all, I want to I got 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.039 to represent for the women. First of all, I'm gonna 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.680 tell you something. There are so many things we could 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:02.400 do in energetically and spiritually to release ourself of the 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:04.279 sperm tithes and the soul ties. 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.440 So I would tell you do not judge a woman 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:07.800 by that. 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:12.120 If she's overcome her her past, right, if she's done 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:14.160 the work. There's a lot of ways that we all 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.400 know that she can get rid of that sperm count 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:18.920 and she wants to right. And so I think, what 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:21.280 if this woman has been through something and that has 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.479 made her the woman she is, who is now a 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:26.159 virtuous woman, who is now a woman who can speak 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.400 to a king. But she was young and she didn't 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:30.960 have no choice. What what if what if I didn't, 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.880 you know, protect myself from sex, and I had sex 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.440 and I was a stripper. I know for a fact 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.200 that I am no longer what I used to be. 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.280 And as a matter of fact, maybe you should think 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:44.480 about this, mster. Be where the type of man I 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.120 could tell you are. I don't even know you, but 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:47.799 I could feel your spirit and I could. 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:48.279 Hear your tone. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.960 You come from some stuff that you no longer represent 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:53.920 what if women judged you by who you. 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:55.839 Used to be and what you used to do. 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:00.960 But if you remember, one of the first things I 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:04.080 said was I can't judge. I said, I won't judge. 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:13.680 He's the preference that he specifically wouldn't wife A. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:17.240 Strip emphasis on that. I want to put a little 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:20.080 just a little emphasis on it, right, and and just explain. 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:22.839 I agree with with you said. If she if she 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.800 did her work and she cleansed us, she cleansed herself 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.559 up and cleansed her lafe and now she's a virtual 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:30.360 woman and moving on an alignment into our divine simon. Yeah, 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:33.800 I'm with that. Well, when I say I'm not that strong, 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:37.000 let me just talk for myself, miss Stormy, right, because yes, 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.400 because I'm sure that I'm not in a place where 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:43.880 I can be okay if I'm out with my woman, 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:48.359 and every everywhere we go, she's running into people that 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:51.440 saw her in that position, that saw her body or 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.719 experience that. Where a man is very protective when it 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.520 comes to his woman, part of our divine nature is 0:06:57.560 --> 0:07:00.560 to protect. So when it comes to our woman, you 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.200 know that that's somebody that we will put our life 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:06.400 on the line to protect her. So, am I gonna 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.920 put my life on the line for someone that has 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.160 a very spider history who didn't clean it up. No, 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.240 But if she did clean it up and she's moving righteously, 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.480 then then I could definitely could probably look at that. However, 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.640 I'm just wanting to be clear that I'm me personally. 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:25.680 It'll be hard and most men, it's very hard for 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:31.520 you to receive that that your woman that was I 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.200 want to Yeah, I'm gonna give it an insight to 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.080 a man's mind really quickly. When your woman is being 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:40.800 sexual with you, right, you see her, hear her experience 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:46.400 in a very vulnerable situation and position, but she's submitting 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:50.400 to that, she's allowing that to take place. So when 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.320 you think about that with one hundred other men and 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:56.800 now you're running into them when you're out in the street, 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.840 especially in the work that I do, so it may 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.440 be a little challenging for me. For me, some other 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.920 people may be a little stronger at that area than 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.400 I am. But that means a lot to me and me. 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:10.640 If you know, a man wants a virtuous woman, You 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:13.720 want a woman that you know, you can feel, you 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.480 feel as if that not saying you're the only one 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.080 because you ain't gonna find virgins out here nowadays, but 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.640 as close as possible you can get to it. 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:28.480 I'm close to a virgin. I'm a recycled vergin. Let 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:33.480 me stir the stew just a little bit here, Okay. So, 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:38.120 a good girl is a virtuous woman who knows who 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:42.600 she is, who grounded in some level of spirituality, who 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:49.880 is available and demonstrates her highest potential impossibility most of 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.000 the time unless you pluck a less nerve than she 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:56.160 coming for you and her. Bad girl is not so 0:08:56.280 --> 0:09:00.920 much one who has had bad behavior if she's reformed. 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.640 But a bad girl is one who doesn't know herself, 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:09.240 who's not grounded in anything spiritually, who is out for 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:14.000 what the fun, the excitement, and and really doesn't value 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:18.400 I think, miss Stormy, she's shaped by the world. That's 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.880 a good, good, good way, Miss Stormy. How does a 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:26.120 good girl, I know, not from necessity as in your 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:30.280 story and the story of so many other young women 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:34.480 out here or who've been out here. How does a 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:39.880 good girl go bad? I'm thinking of Jasmine Sullivan's song 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:44.560 Make us sad, make us mad, and then wonder why 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:48.160 we go bad, Miss Stormy. How does a good girl 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:49.240 go bad? 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.760 A great course that I will tell you for me, 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:56.480 I've been there. I think one of the ways the 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:58.400 good girl goes bad, It could be a lot of ways. 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:01.240 One of the ways. I think sometime women are desperate. 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.120 I think a lot of women these days are lonely. 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:08.240 Men are very slim picking. We want to be loved, 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.480 We want some intimacy, we want some sex, we want 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.480 some support. And sometimes we can set off for any 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:16.880 man just because we need some type of companionship. 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.079 And so next thing, you know, you got a boss 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:20.320 dating a bond. 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.240 Next thing, you know, you got a queen you know, dating, 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.800 you know, someone that she ain't got no business dating. 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:28.000 And because she. 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:31.960 Yeah the magician, uh huh. 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.520 Yeah, you got you got her dating someone she had 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.280 no business dating. And then she gets caught up because 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:39.360 a lot of times when a girl is good, she 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.080 comes with perks, and she comes with value. 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.480 She may have a car, she may have a house, she. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.640 May have some money, and so, uh you know, she she, 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:48.880 you know, brings a lot of value to this man. 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.280 And then when you start having sex with this man 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:54.600 and don't let it feel good. You know, now you're 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.200 in trouble, and then a good girl. I tell you, 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:59.760 most good girls are not promiscuous. So once she sleeps 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.800 with you condom and no condom, she thinks, she said, yeah, 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.240 she thinks to your wife, and she's treating you like 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.200 a king. That treating you like she's your wife when 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:09.920 you just wanted to, you know, have sex with her, 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:11.760 or you just want to use her for her car 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.160 or use her for her money, and she falls for 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.920 you believing that she could change you. Because I'm talking 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:20.080 from my perspective. I've dated in the past and thought, 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.840 because I'm so splunny, wasn'ton. Like I almost was about 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.000 to tell mister be where you talk all that. If 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.440 I wasn't in a relationship and you wasn't married, I 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.000 bet you could change your mind about marrying an ex 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.080 stripper or marrying somebody that was a stripper. 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:33.320 It depends on the person. 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:37.439 You better run that resume. No, So I'm just. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:41.280 Saying I could change anybody's mind, And I definitely used 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:41.920 to think that. 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.480 Now that I'm mature and I understand. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:47.360 You know, once a man reached into his adulthood, you 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.080 know ages, he has to want to change for himself. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.080 So when that good girl allows the man to have 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.400 sex with her, oh my god, please don't let her 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:56.880 release no steaming at her. Oh my god, Please don't 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.160 let him spend the night too many nights. Oh my god, 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.640 please don't let him ride the car. Next you know, 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.640 she falls in love with somebody, and who knows where 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.120 that could go. She says, that's her boyfriend. He think 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:08.120 they just having sex. 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:09.440 She claiming him. 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:11.839 You know, she don't realize he got all kind of 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:13.640 stuff going on. And next thing you know, she loses 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.760 her stuff worth, She forgets who she is, Her money 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:18.920 start getting funny, she get fuzzy in her mind, she 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:22.560 lose clarity of who she is, her standards, and she 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.240 wakes up one day and realizes what have I done? 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:27.959 And it could be a year, two years. I could 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.640 tell you I fell into that trap for like five years, 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:32.680 and I woke up one day and I wrote a 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:35.040 set of new rules that helped me to build back 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.280 my personal virtue. Because just because you got money, you know, 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:41.439 don't mean that you make good decisions. Just because you're 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.240 brass don't mean you make good decisions. And I'm just 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:46.199 telling you a lot of women are lonely out here. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.960 You know a lot of women wants some relationship and 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.680 they'll settle for any man. And then next you know, she. 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.880 Looks up and she turns into a whole other woman. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:56.840 She loses herself. So I just want to. 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.400 Say that, you know, really, really a good girl could 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.480 go bad by the wrong man, and the choice that 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.040 she makes in that relationship, on that connection. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.360 What I want to add to that is that two 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:08.920 things you talked about, she had a good job or 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:12.360 money and stuff like that. You know that means something 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.640 to women. Men don't look at women for that. You 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.199 could be if you're attractive and I'm drawing to your energy, 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:19.880 you could be at McDonald's and I'm gonna try to 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:20.600 talk to you. 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:21.800 Well, no, we're talking about how. 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:23.680 We talked about how a good girl go We talking 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.840 about how a good girl when you. 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.240 Talk about the value, I already mentioned something about value. 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.120 But no, no, no, we're talking about what mister b Well, 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:32.320 we're talking about a good girl. 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.680 I'm now I'm no longer a bad girl. Right, let's 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:35.360 change the subject. 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.360 Right, I'm a good girl now either I'm a. 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:39.640 I'm a good girl. 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:43.160 I got a nice house. I'm already submissive because that's 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.679 who I am. I've learned the power of feminine energy. 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.800 So I am feminine power because it's feminine power, and 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.880 feminine energy brings a feminine power. So I'm all these things. 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:54.840 And here comes this man. He's charming me. He's sexy. 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.760 He opens the door for me. He he, he says 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.400 thank you and please. He understand how to be a man. 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.319 And I get tricked right. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.240 In his mother's basement. 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:06.880 Oh my god, and this, and he goes to church 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:08.599 and he prays with me. He holds my hand, he 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.880 kisses me on the forehead. He doesn't try to sleep 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:11.679 with me fast and throw. 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:12.840 I fall for him. 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:14.560 And then we get in the relationship. 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.079 And next you know, I find out that he lives 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.480 in his mother's basement, he had bad credit, he doesn't 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.520 have no health on kids, he's not grounded spiritually, he 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:24.880 has no vent to a no coach. And I find 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:26.480 out that he's a bomb and he's been barring his 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:29.000 mom car. And next you know, we've slept with each 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.880 other and he could in bed and we did it 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.920 with no condom. Oh my god, that I posted him 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:38.000 on my Instagram page. Now, how do I get out 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:38.920 of that? Now? 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:40.440 My self estimous effect. 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:40.840 Kids. 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.280 You know what I'm saying there? 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:44.920 What I would say to that? He's what I would 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:48.480 say to that. And I'm a share one of Missila's 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.600 famous quotes, wonder for from more all of our books, 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:58.480 but specifically acts of faith that we draw to us. Uh. 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:02.480 People come into our life by energetic invitation. Right, So 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.000 there was something that that sister needed to clean up. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.840 He'll learn see about herself that maybe she was us 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:12.800 seeing that ladship brought it to the surface. For now. 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.520 On an external one may say what I was a 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:18.920 bad situation, But if this, if that, if that's that 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.200 woman was able to learn, if she was able to 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:23.040 get whatever it was that life was trying to teach 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.080 her through that relationship, it wasn't a bad situation. But 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.800 if she wasn't already on that channel, if those issues 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.560 weren't in her, if it wasn't something she needed to 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:34.960 clean up and heal, she would have never drawn that 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.200 man to her. So it was something that she needed 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.640 to see in herself. Miss Storming, That's what I was. 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:43.280 So wat's this big whare I love that? But I 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:47.320 love to be authentic and transparent. My mom died August 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.400 twenty six, twenty eleven. I'm holding her hand. I thought 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.160 my mom was coming home from the hospital. That I 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.080 thought she was coming home from the hospital that day. 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:58.920 I'm a millionaire. I'm riding around and Benzi's and cadillect trucks. 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.280 I'm doing big things in the world, and I'm a boss, right, 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:03.800 But then I've watched my mom take her last breath. 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:05.880 When you lose your mom, you feel like you're in 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:09.000 the world by yourself. It feels empty, right, And so 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.680 I meet this guy who is Prince Charming. He's handsome, 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:15.480 he has a great job, he takes military he's doing 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.000 I mean, we will celebrate. We go to church, We 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.320 read the Bible, you know. He opens the door, he 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:21.920 kisses me on the fore here. He tells me he 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:24.920 loves me. He tells me I'm pretty, He's he's everything, 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.840 well endowed all of that, And I got tricked. And 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.840 you're right, I had lost myself because I lost my mom. 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.120 So, yes, I do believe. 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.360 That I invited this man in my life by energetic invitation. 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:39.920 I accept that's what I did. But I lost myself 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:43.520 so much in that relationship that if I didn't find 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.240 myself again. I can't tell you where I will be 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:49.360 right now, and so I just want whoever watches this 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:52.360 or here's this interview, shall I say to know that 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:56.840 those energetic invitations they can expire, and when you change, 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:01.280 go higher after those energetic relationationships fall off, and know 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:05.320 that it is okay that that season is over. I 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:09.479 marry this man. I'm fighting that decision right now. So 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:13.320 I'm still dealing with something that I invited through energetic invitation. 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:15.639 But I also didn't next. I didn't act for that. 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:17.640 I didn't ask to watch my mom take her last breath. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.000 But I do realize that what does a kivy made 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.159 me stronger and what I experienced with that invitation is 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:27.040 now a gift. And I'm here for women to advocate 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.239 for them, to tell them be careful where you have 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:31.480 kids with, Be careful when you do what you do 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.840 when your emotions is high, because when your emotions is high, 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.280 your logic is low, and you may pay for that 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:39.560 decision for years. What if you catch a herpes or 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.840 something else you can't cure? So yes, it's sexually transmitted diseases. 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.440 That spiritually transmitted diseases that we got to be careful love. 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.639 So I accept what I did, but I know that 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.560 it's not a life sentence. It was just a part 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:52.800 of the story. 0:17:52.960 --> 0:18:01.280 We'll talk about that right after the spring. Welcome back 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:04.080 to the R spot. Let's get back to the conversation. 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.919 You're dropping so many gems. But I don't want people 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:12.480 to think they're rhyme stone, So let me just reiterate 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.640 what Miss Stormy has said. She says, when that thing 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.679 you just said and help me brain work with me. 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.479 You said, when you're high in your emotions, you are 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:28.119 low in logic. Hear that, ladies, because energy moves you. 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:30.960 Emotions are the energy that moves you. So when you 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.119 move in fast and your feelings, you were gonna be 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:41.640 deficit in your thinking. I love that again. It brings 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:48.280 me to the words of Jasmine Sullivan in her song, 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:52.239 which she says, treat us bad, make us sad, and 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.960 then wonder why we're mad. Mister beware, do you think 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.000 that some bad girls are just mad? 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:00.320 Ad? 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:03.720 The ones who are aggressive in there speaking, the ones 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:09.119 who are disrespectful and emasculating toward men. Is it not 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:13.040 that they want to be bad, but they're mad and 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:15.760 they haven't done the work that miss Stormy does. Is 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:16.720 that a possibility. 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:20.440 Mister beware, No, that's that's definitely you hit the nail 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:24.600 right on the head. Stormy Stormy. She explained it well, 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:27.600 you know, she said that she she can't join awareness, 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:31.080 you know that awareness, that's where it started for her. 0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:33.640 And she started doing work and then she raised herself 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:37.560 above that that energy, that energetic invitation when she said 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.199 expired and and and that's for everybody. That's for all 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:44.240 of the sisters and for men, also for men also 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:48.359 because again, if you if the brother is drawing a 0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:52.040 woman and this is how he's showing up, then she 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:57.360 her her pain. What she's experienced in him is the 0:19:57.400 --> 0:19:59.720 invitation for him to pay attention. 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.439 Not to take advantage of her pay. 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.960 But that's what happens. Is like the sister that not 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.439 growled in the knowledge of self, the brother that's not 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:10.600 growled in the knowledge of self. Let me tell you 0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:12.920 how he is right, because I don't want to put 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:18.199 it on the sisters. He's a predator. He's a he 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:24.800 is out there looking for the pray how a lion 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:29.119 is linking for that gazelle, that that wounded gazel, that 0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:32.640 one that's easy to pounce on. He's doing the same 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:37.080 exact thing, and when he sees it, his antennas are 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.760 growing up and he's going in for the kill. So 0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:43.400 so so it's what you said, Stormy. When when sisters 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:49.080 make a rational, a quick decision, emotionally right or impulsively, 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:53.040 that's what he's looking for. He's hoping she does that. Heah, 0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:54.040 you're looking for that. 0:20:54.200 --> 0:21:00.240 Here's another possibility. She's living her wounds. She's living from 0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:04.480 her woundedness, not from her wellness. She's living from her pain, 0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:10.520 not from her power. And he is really doing the 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:15.520 same thing. Because a man, a king who diminishes or 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:19.399 demoralizes a quing, he's living from his wound. He's living 0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:24.800 from his pain. So those two things, they say opposites attract, 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:30.120 But in truth, you will attract the frequency of your 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:34.840 own wound. So they are all kinds of possibilities that 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:38.439 bring them together to the ladies out there, And thank you, 0:21:38.560 --> 0:21:42.640 Jasmine Sullivan for bringing it to our awareness. If he's 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:47.800 treating you bad and he's making you sad, don't get mad, 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:54.560 get well, because if you get it, running for your life. 0:21:57.160 --> 0:22:01.200 But here's the thing that concerns me, and I say it, 0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:04.120 you know very clearly, I do not have a high 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:09.960