WEBVTT - 10 Terribly Bungled Crimes

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<v Speaker 1>Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.

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<v Speaker 1>It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you should know

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<v Speaker 1>from How Stuff Works dot Com? Stuff you should know

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<v Speaker 1>is brought to you by Visa. We all have things

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<v Speaker 1>we like to think about online fraud. Shouldn't do one

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<v Speaker 1>of them, because with every purchase, PISA prevents to texts

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<v Speaker 1>and resolves online fraud safe Secure Visa. Hi, and welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to the podcast. Josh and Chuck Here Josh Clark and

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<v Speaker 1>Charles Bryant, Paris, staff writers for How Stuff Works dot Com.

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<v Speaker 1>What up, Chuck? What up? Josh? How's it going? It's

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<v Speaker 1>going good man, t G. I f we record these

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<v Speaker 1>on Friday. People might not know that. It's a great

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<v Speaker 1>way to finish out our week. And I'm happy to

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<v Speaker 1>be here. So Chuck here. Telling me about a video

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<v Speaker 1>you saw it recently? Uh, something about a guy falling

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<v Speaker 1>through the ceiling. Did you see that on YouTube? I did.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw it on the YouTube. It's it's a really

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<v Speaker 1>good one. It's a bungled crime. This guy was robbing

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<v Speaker 1>a liquor store and he snuck in and they had

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<v Speaker 1>video cameras outside that captured him going in through the

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<v Speaker 1>roof and then a video capture inside this showed this

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<v Speaker 1>guy falling through the ceiling. Was there a star wipe

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<v Speaker 1>when they went from camera? They should have done that,

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<v Speaker 1>but he fell through the ceiling, and um, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I was gathering up some cash or whatever he could find,

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<v Speaker 1>and then he realized that he couldn't get out, so

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<v Speaker 1>then and you know it's it's a timelap steal. It

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<v Speaker 1>shows him over time, he gets a ladder and he

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<v Speaker 1>puts the ladder in there, and then he can't. He's

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<v Speaker 1>it's still too high to get back through. And then

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<v Speaker 1>the last shot of this video is a classic. It

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<v Speaker 1>shows this guy, uh, basically just sit down and smoke

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<v Speaker 1>a cigarette until the cops come. That's beautiful. Yeah, Chuck

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<v Speaker 1>always has the best viral videos. He's always sending stuff out,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, to everybody, to everyone's delight. But you know,

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<v Speaker 1>that guy sitting there with a smoking a cigarette, waiting,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, resigned to his fate, waiting for the cops

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<v Speaker 1>to show up, reminds me of an article I wrote

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<v Speaker 1>called the ten Terribly Bungled Crimes. Right. These are great,

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<v Speaker 1>they really are. I think everyone likes hearing stories, kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like the Darwin Awards, except of the criminal nature.

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<v Speaker 1>That's exactly right. Um, Now, you know there's plenty of great,

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<v Speaker 1>great heights that were pulled off, right, like Luftons. I

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<v Speaker 1>know you're a good Fellas fan, right, Yeah, and that

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<v Speaker 1>was Jimmy right, the liftonsa highest which was in I

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<v Speaker 1>think like five eight million bucks. Yeah, And I went

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<v Speaker 1>on to uh the Department of Labor, Department of Statistics,

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<v Speaker 1>one of the one of them has a website inflation calculator,

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<v Speaker 1>and I calculated it. There was still there was twenty

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<v Speaker 1>million dollars in two thousand eight dollars, which is nothing

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<v Speaker 1>compared to what some guys did in two thousand and six.

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<v Speaker 1>And Great Britain. I think they made off with ninety

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<v Speaker 1>two million dollars. And I don't think all of them

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<v Speaker 1>were caught either. That's that's a quite a heist. So

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<v Speaker 1>these are like at the high end of the spectrum.

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<v Speaker 1>They're in like the ultra violet range down in the

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<v Speaker 1>We'll say, yellows, right, are are the ones in this

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<v Speaker 1>article ten terribly bungled crimes? Less? These folks, Yeah, they're

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<v Speaker 1>just trying to to commit a crime and like everyone else,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just not working exactly and what what do

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<v Speaker 1>you suspect is the reason why people engage in in

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<v Speaker 1>these horribly bungled crimes. My my personal theories that unless

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<v Speaker 1>you're a career criminal, unless you're one of those guys

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<v Speaker 1>who pulls off a luftanza heist or in ninety two

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<v Speaker 1>million dollar take or whatever, um, you're you're basically just lazy,

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<v Speaker 1>which is why you're a criminal. I think most criminal

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<v Speaker 1>acts are basically in a statement of laziness, trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get something for nothing. So I mean like if if

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<v Speaker 1>you're if you're just a burglar or whatever, and you're

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<v Speaker 1>so so burglar hasn't been caught, you're generally lazy. If

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<v Speaker 1>you are a bungling burglar, then you're the laziest of

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<v Speaker 1>the laziest. You're incompetent, right, you're so lazy you don't

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<v Speaker 1>even commit crimes regularly. Exactly. Well, I think we should

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<v Speaker 1>dive right in and talk about some of these incompetent people. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll talk about Chuck, what's your favorite out of these

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<v Speaker 1>ten buggle crimes? And before warned, we don't have time

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<v Speaker 1>to go over all ten, but you can read it

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<v Speaker 1>on how stuff works dot com. Well, my favorite. Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll I'll give you my second favorite. We my my

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<v Speaker 1>second favorite is this uh Atlanta, I'm sorry, not Atlanta,

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<v Speaker 1>but Rochelle, Georgia. Woman, man, you took mine. Yeah, this

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<v Speaker 1>is a good one. She bought some crack cocaine, which

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<v Speaker 1>is a drug that people smoke to feel better about

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<v Speaker 1>themselves and their surroundings. Right, and so she stole this

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<v Speaker 1>crack and got home lit up, and I think she

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<v Speaker 1>found out that it wasn't cracked. She thought it wasn't cracked,

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<v Speaker 1>right because there was nothing happening. So, uh, the smart lady.

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<v Speaker 1>We're not gonna say her name, you know, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think we can't. Well, it's in the article. Uh she called.

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<v Speaker 1>She called the cops to come over to her house

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<v Speaker 1>and help her get her money back for her drug purchase. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and the police showed up and they said thanks, thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for the easy caller. Right. Yeah, so that was that

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<v Speaker 1>was my second favorite. I like that one too. That

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<v Speaker 1>one's all right. I'll go with my second favorite then,

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<v Speaker 1>because actually that was my first choke. Um. My my

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<v Speaker 1>second favorite was the guy in Miami who was driving

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<v Speaker 1>through an unnamed uh fast food chain. This is my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite one. Awesome I got you back. Yes, okay. So, um,

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<v Speaker 1>this guy is driving through it seems late at night.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if he was on anything or drunk,

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<v Speaker 1>or just maybe in a really bad mood. Um, he

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<v Speaker 1>ordered some food. It came to like seven dollars and

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<v Speaker 1>forty one cents or something like that. And when the

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<v Speaker 1>person told him through the little box that that's how

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<v Speaker 1>much it costs, he clearly told them that he was

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<v Speaker 1>not going to pay more than dollars seventy five number one.

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<v Speaker 1>Apparently that's all he thought it was worth. Number two. Coincidentally,

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<v Speaker 1>that's all he had on him. So I love that

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<v Speaker 1>this guy just thought that's all it's worth. You should

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<v Speaker 1>only break even here on this transacting. I'm not even

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<v Speaker 1>sure if that's breaking even with the you know, food

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<v Speaker 1>costs these days. I think it would have been very

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<v Speaker 1>much tilted in his favor. Don't kid yourself. I bet

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<v Speaker 1>a number six is really worth about seventy five cents. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're you're probably right, Sorry, Chuck com I get naive sometimes.

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<v Speaker 1>So the back to the story. The guy, uh, the

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<v Speaker 1>guy who decides that, um, he's not gonna pay more

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<v Speaker 1>than dollars five. He tells him that they tell him no,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, sorry, Bob. You know. They go back to

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<v Speaker 1>putting the burger or whatever under the heat lamp, and

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<v Speaker 1>he drives off, but he doesn't drive very far. He

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<v Speaker 1>drives into a parking space. This is where he gets

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<v Speaker 1>good and he um. He runs up to the drive

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<v Speaker 1>through window on foot and brandishes a weapon when they

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<v Speaker 1>come to the window, and he tells them that he

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<v Speaker 1>wants their money. And apparently these were the baddest fast

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<v Speaker 1>food employees around because they turn them down again, and

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<v Speaker 1>in retaliation, just to save some face, the guy grabs

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<v Speaker 1>a handful of catchup packets and runs off peels off

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<v Speaker 1>into the Miami night. Uh yeah, so that one was

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<v Speaker 1>That was my second favorite, tied tied with the woman

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<v Speaker 1>from Rochelle, Georgia who wanted the police to get her

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<v Speaker 1>money back for the crack. Right, that's a good one.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, since you stole my favorite, I guess

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<v Speaker 1>I'll just I'll pick out another one here. Um the

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<v Speaker 1>guy in Phoenix, Arizona on the on the police chase. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh he's good. I can understand his pain. Actually, he

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<v Speaker 1>robbed a bank and a lot of bank robbers in here,

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<v Speaker 1>and not very skilled bank robbers, and he was on

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<v Speaker 1>a in a high pursuit, high speed pursuit by the cops,

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<v Speaker 1>and uh decided to make a little detour and get

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<v Speaker 1>a pack of smokes. So he whips it in a

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<v Speaker 1>convenience store, goes in and actually tries to pay for him,

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<v Speaker 1>which is kind of cool. He robbed a bank, but

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<v Speaker 1>he won't robb the community stord. He tried to give

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<v Speaker 1>him a twenty, like, here's twenty, just give me the

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<v Speaker 1>package cigarette, and the guy gave him the pack of smokes.

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<v Speaker 1>He went and jumped back in his car, and the

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<v Speaker 1>chase resumed as if it was in the Yeah, the

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<v Speaker 1>clerk apparently said he saw the guy drive off, and

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<v Speaker 1>like thirty seconds later, this horde of police just driving past,

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<v Speaker 1>and he figured out what was going on. Tell him

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<v Speaker 1>the absolute worst part of that story, chuck cigarettes to kill. No,

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<v Speaker 1>even worse than that. When they pulled the guy, or

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<v Speaker 1>when they finally caught the guy, the pack of cigarettes

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<v Speaker 1>was unopened. Hadn't even had a chance to smoke one

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<v Speaker 1>of the cigarettes, and chances are you would have been

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<v Speaker 1>caught anyway. But this, but at the very least he

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<v Speaker 1>could have had a last cigarette exactly because you know,

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<v Speaker 1>contrary to what they teach you on OZ, you can't

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<v Speaker 1>smoke in prison. I thought they were, Uh, no, you're

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<v Speaker 1>you're not supposed to smoke cigarettes and presents against the rules. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so um, you know, Chuck. There were a couple that

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<v Speaker 1>didn't make it in here. They bordered on the line

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<v Speaker 1>of urban legend um that I wanted to share that

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't get really good source, uh, sources to site

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<v Speaker 1>to back back these stories up, which you kind of

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<v Speaker 1>need when you're when you're writing about these outlandish crimes. Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>For one, the best source I could get was a

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<v Speaker 1>it looked like some sort of monthly newsletter of a

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<v Speaker 1>sheriff's department in Missouri or something. And I couldn't find

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<v Speaker 1>any other verification for it. But I had heard it elsewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>Um that a guy in Michigan supposedly goes into a

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<v Speaker 1>convenience store robber right, um, and he is really drunk.

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<v Speaker 1>He tells them that he wants all of their money

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<v Speaker 1>and they say no, he didn't have a weapon, he

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have a note even. He was just this loud,

0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.840
<v Speaker 1>bullurgerent guy. And he told the I think a parent

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<v Speaker 1>clerks that he was going to call the cops if

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<v Speaker 1>they didn't give him the money. So he calls the cops,

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<v Speaker 1>and the cops show up and arrest him on the spot.

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<v Speaker 1>But backfired, Yeah, backfired terribly. And I think this guy

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<v Speaker 1>was too drunk to even resign himself to his fate.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, sit down and smoke a cigarette. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, guy's like that should get a break. I agree.

0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I agree at the very least, not a baton to

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<v Speaker 1>the head. But you should read all about this stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>We haven't even correct the service what we talked about

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<v Speaker 1>like three maybe at least seven more for you to

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<v Speaker 1>go read and ten terribly bungled crimes on how stuff

0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:37.520
<v Speaker 1>works dot com and stick around to find out what

0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Star Wars character poses as a dr pepper bottle on

0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:45.160
<v Speaker 1>the how stuff Works site. Right after this stuff you

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<v Speaker 1>should know is brought to you by Visa. We all

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<v Speaker 1>have things to think about, like say, what's the best

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<v Speaker 1>site to buy a new leather jacket or whether to

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<v Speaker 1>buy the three or six megapixel camera. But thankfully we

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<v Speaker 1>don't need to think about online fraud because for every

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<v Speaker 1>for any unauthorized purchases. How's that for peace of mind,

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<v Speaker 1>safe secure visa? So, Chuck, do you know the answer? Answer?

0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I do not know. Well, I can tell you it's

0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.640
<v Speaker 1>not Yoda. Weirdo. That was terrible. By the way, that

0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:26.160
<v Speaker 1>wasn't Yoda. Oh well, I don't know what was that Chewbacca.

0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:27.600
<v Speaker 1>I just had a frog in my throat? Oh who

0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.360
<v Speaker 1>who was it? That? It was? Me? Okay, well the

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<v Speaker 1>answer is Lando Calorisian. Yeah, that's what I hear, very

0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:37.800
<v Speaker 1>ably played by one Mr Billy Dee Williams. Yes, um,

0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.480
<v Speaker 1>now it's Lando. Dr Pepper is the character's name. There's

0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.360
<v Speaker 1>a video on how stuff Works site. It's a very

0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.640
<v Speaker 1>little known video. Um, and you can find that video

0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.720
<v Speaker 1>embedded in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy Works.

0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even get to go any further in explaining it.

0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:56.440
<v Speaker 1>You just need to see everything for yourself. Is so awesome.

0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Go type in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy

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<v Speaker 1>works on how stuff works dot com. You will not

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<v Speaker 1>be disappointed. For more on this and thousands of other topics,

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<v Speaker 1>visit how stuff works dot com. Let us know what

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<v Speaker 1>you think. Send an email to podcast at how stuff

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<v Speaker 1>Works dot com h brought to you by the reinvented

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, Are you