1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting and more, 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: please please submit your Strawberry letter to STEPHRVEFM dot com 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. Who knows we could be 5 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: reading your Strawberry letter. M just like this one right here, 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 1: right now, All right, lady and the gentleman, is time 7 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: for the Strawberry Letter with my good friend, Shirley Strawberry. 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: Thank you, Junior, my good friend. Subject. What's more does 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 1: he want from me? Dear Stephen, Shirley. I've been with 10 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: my fiance for three years and we've been engaged for 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: almost a year. We've had sex almost every night since 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: we met. Since he proposed, He's been wearing me out physically. 13 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: He has raised the bar so high in the bedroom 14 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 1: that I can't keep up. He's doing all kinds of 15 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: positions and tricks on me nightly, and I'm exhausted. He 16 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: knows I worked two jobs and we have a small 17 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: child to take care of. I am trying to help 18 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: him pay for our dream wedding and then we could 19 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: be as nasty as he wants to be. And I've 20 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: told him that he has read about Karmasutra and the 21 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: art of sensual touch, and he calls himself a sexpert, 22 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: which is a sex expert. The final straw was on 23 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: the other night when I was asleep and he started 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: rubbing hot oil all over my back and it burned 25 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: like hell. I was startled and I swung my arm around, 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: hitting him in the eye by mistake. He went and 27 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: slept on the couch. The next morning, I try to 28 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: fix things by cuddling with him on the couch and 29 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: that ended up in us having sex on the couch 30 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: and then in the kitchen and finally in our bed. 31 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: He literally walked me all around our house while we 32 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: had sex. And this has got to stop. It has 33 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: gotten to the point where I am faking it so 34 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: he'll stop. And that's how I want my man. That's 35 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: not how I want my marriage to be. Then he 36 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: told his daddy of all people, that I can't keep 37 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: up with him anymore in the bedroom, and his daddy 38 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: called me to say, if I can't please my man, 39 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: then someone else will. I'm not supposed to do that. 40 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to. Oh, I'm not opposed to. Yeah, 41 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: thank you, Steve. I'm not opposed to that at this 42 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: point because I'm tired of having sex. We are both 43 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: in our late twenties, so maybe he's still immature and 44 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: I'm just seeing it. Should I rethink my wedding plans 45 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: if he doesn't stop acting out like this? The question 46 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: is to me, how have you spent a whole three 47 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 1: years with this guy? Not because of the sex, because 48 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: that's what twenty somethings do, but he sounds like, you know, 49 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: a very selfish daddy's boy. To me, you said, you 50 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: have a baby, and you're working two jobs to help 51 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: him pay for the wedding. Where's the love, Where's the appreciation? 52 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: And where's a consideration from him that you might be 53 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: tired some of these days? Okay, you're not a machine. 54 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: You have every right to be tired and worn out. 55 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: And the hot burning oil that could have, you know, 56 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: berntue or something pretty badly. You haven't mentioned anything about 57 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: him having a job or anything like that. What does 58 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: he do besides have sex with you every single night 59 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: for three years? And then what is he calling his 60 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: dad to tell on you for that? Right there? And 61 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: Pops has no right to tell you to call you 62 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: and tell you that someone else can please his son 63 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: as you can't. If you can't, that's not his business, Daddy, 64 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: that's not your business. Well, you say you don't want 65 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: your marriage to be like this, but it will because 66 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: this is who your fiance is. Get used to this. 67 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: You've been doing this for three years. What makes you 68 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: think he's going to change when you get married. It's 69 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: only fun if both of you enjoy it. And you're 70 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: not enjoying it, you're no longer enjoying it. You're true tired. 71 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: You have every right to question your future with him, 72 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: because he does care about what you want. He just 73 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: wants his needs fulfilled. The first thing I would do 74 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: is quit my second job. Then maybe you know you 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: won't be so tired, and you know, then you guys 76 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: can do it as often as you want or as 77 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: he wont, steve. This is not my solution for her 78 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: to quit her second job. Yeah, so she won't be 79 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: as tired. What let me just start at the bottom 80 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: of the letder. We're both in our late twenties, okay, said, 81 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: so that means everybody's pretty highly active. I mean late twenties. 82 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 1: Who it could be on and cracking. Oh, but y'all 83 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 1: been together three years and y'all been engaged for about 84 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 1: a year, and y'all haven't had sex. Almost every night 85 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: since we met, that's three years, almost every night now 86 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 1: since he proposed, he'd been wearing you out physical this 87 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: a year. He'd raise the boss so high in the 88 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 1: bedroom that you can't keep up. He doing all kinds 89 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: of positions and tricks, and I'm exhausted, and he knows 90 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: I got to work two jobs, and I have a 91 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: small child, and we have a small child to take 92 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 1: care of. I'm trying to help him pay for our 93 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: dream wedding and then he can be as nasty as 94 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: he wants to. And I've told him that. Okay, now 95 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: let me tell you what all he heard was, you 96 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: can be as nasty as you want to. That's all 97 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: he heard. See, you're dealing with the man with selective hearing, 98 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: selective caring. It's all about him. So when you said, 99 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: you know, I've told him. You know that after we 100 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: pay for our dream wedding and then he can be 101 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: as nasty as he wants to. That's all he heard. Now. 102 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: The other problem you got is he'd read this book 103 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: about Calmon Calma Suchra and the art of Sensual touch 104 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 1: now he a damn sexpert. Well, he didn't read the book, Shirley, 105 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: And in the book they didn't give instructions at the 106 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: high hot the OI poster be Now you and hill 107 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: Gotsu got a couple novel your ass this double ass 108 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 1: a boy? All right? Look he got a welding glove 109 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: on applying the oil. You ain't know that door, right? 110 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of 111 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 112 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: The subject for today's strawberry letter, what more does he 113 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: want from me? We'll get back into it right after this. 114 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's 115 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter. What more does he want from me? 116 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: Is the subject? Well this letter, let me get to it. 117 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: Been dating this board three years. They've been engaged one 118 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: they've had sex almost every night, and ever since they 119 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: got engaged a year ago, he'd been wearing how she 120 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: tied she working two jobs because she's trying to pay 121 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: for the dream wed and help him pay for the 122 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: dream wed. But they got a small child. Now, she 123 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: told him, after we get the dream wed, and you 124 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: could be as nasty as you want to. That's all 125 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: he heard. Be as nasty as you want to. So 126 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: now now he didn't read this book about Karma Sutra 127 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: and he'd ordered a sensual touch. Now he didn't. Somebody 128 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: had told him in his damn book that heat up 129 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: some all. Now he didn't, got a hot plate, plug, 130 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: get up in the bathroom, got a sauce, paying out 131 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: the kitchen, and had no tension. He didn't. He did 132 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: this damn all up to this damn lava. He didn't. 133 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: Actually he didn't actually turn this into a McDonald's apple pie. Bed. Yeah, 134 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: you're in the bed, you sleep. He started rubbing this 135 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: hot ass pie on over your back and it burned 136 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: like hell. You swung your arm around, you hit him 137 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: in the eye. So now he man, He goes sleep 138 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: on the couch. So the next morning you try to 139 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: fix things up, you go down, You cut it with 140 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: him on the couch. Well that he ended up. Y'all 141 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: had sex on the couch, then in the kitchen, finally 142 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,319 Speaker 1: in the bed room. He walked your hands all around 143 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: the house while we had sex. And this has got 144 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: to stop. Then she sends it got to the point 145 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: where I'm faking it, So he'll stop, and that's how, 146 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: not how I want my marriage to be. Then he 147 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: told his daddy, of all people, I can't keep up 148 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: with him any more in the bed room, and his 149 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: daddy called me to say I can't please my man 150 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: as somebody else will. To hear the dangerous part. I'm 151 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: not opposed to that at this point because I'm tired 152 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: of having sex. Damn. OK, Look look, little girl. It 153 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 1: can't get like this now. They both of the late twenties, 154 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: so maybe he's still immature and I'm just seeing it. Yeah, Yeah, 155 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: should I rethink my wedding plans he doesn't stop acting 156 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: out like this, you have to do you have to 157 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: and you have to tell him this is too much. 158 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: His daddy called you and told if you can't please 159 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: your man, then somebody else will. And you tied his 160 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: hell of pleasing him to the point where you're faking it. 161 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,959 Speaker 1: It's too much for you. Now. It's this marriage based 162 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: on love? Or was this marriage based on the act 163 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: of sex? Because right now I haven't heard you say 164 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: I love him. He's the sweetest woman's kindest man. I 165 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 1: haven't heard any of this. He's a tremendous father and 166 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 1: you're working two jobs to help him pay for the 167 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 1: drive play. So I think you need to rethink these 168 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,680 Speaker 1: waiting plans and slowed us down a little bit and 169 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: get some type of little agreement worked out, because he 170 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 1: just having his way. But the dangerous part is if 171 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 1: you don't do it his way. He seemed like his 172 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,599 Speaker 1: dad and already throw and he got to go some 173 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: reps to get it. And he's been saying in the 174 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: letter that you don't really even oppose to that. Well, 175 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: that's a dangerous thing to say, because why would you 176 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: get married to a man that you know it's gonna 177 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: be outside your marriage doing what he want to do. 178 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: She's tired, she's not thinking clearly. See she's two tired. Yes, 179 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: she's working two jobs and they have a small child. Well, 180 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: quitting your job is not the answer to this, because 181 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: you see, because if you quit one of your jobs, 182 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: so you're not as tired, and you're gonna be at 183 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: the house more for him to have some most sex. 184 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: The problem is he wanted when he wanted, how he wanted, 185 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: and whenever he wants. That's your problem. It has nothing 186 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: to do with you. You should have a say so 187 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: in that and that's period. That's what it is. And 188 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: so if you don't have a say so, and if 189 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: you get married going into it with this after you 190 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 1: told him, after y'all have the dream where you can 191 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: be as nasty as you want to be, you don't 192 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: think he's gonna pull that back up, right he getting married. See, 193 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: it even picked up after he got after he got engaged, 194 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: it picked up. There are a lot of people that 195 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: thank you property. There are some men who think women 196 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: are their property. They don't get it. Now. If this 197 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: is what y'all want to do, then that's fine. But 198 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: if it's just what he want to do, then Houston, 199 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: we have a problem. Yes we did. But see if 200 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: you remember this letter we had not too long ago, 201 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 1: it was about this man who didn't work and he 202 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: was all about sex. And you said, remember that letter, 203 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: and you said, he has time to think about those 204 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: things because he's not working. And that's kind of what 205 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: this is reminding me of because she never mentioned if 206 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: he was working. She only mentioned that she was not, 207 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: even that he's helping her out with the kids. So 208 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: maybe that's why he has time to read Comma Sutra 209 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: and all of that, because he doesn't have a job. Well, 210 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: this letter, he doesn't have anything about love. And he's 211 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: a great guy and he's a wonderful provider. It's none 212 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: of this. It's about one thing and one thing only, 213 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 1: and I'm starting to be concerned. And that's what the 214 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: relationship is based on. That's all you have is great 215 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: sex and it's just great sings for him because it's 216 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: too too much of anything ain't good for you. Drank 217 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: too much day and water, right, but three years of 218 00:12:55,080 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: that all right? Listen Post your comments on Today's Strawberry 219 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check 220 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up 221 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,239 Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour supports talk with Junior. 222 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to this Name Harvey Morning 223 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: Show