WEBVTT - Dear Mama 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:07.920 and the Black Effect, oh Ship we want to air. 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:10.799 Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.000 girl just hilarious. Now listen. A couple of days ago, 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.160 it was Mother's Day and I want to take the 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:17.520 time to acknowledge all the mothers like I did on 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:20.480 my Live On actual Mother's Day, I took my mother 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:25.200 to Vegas. As y'all know, my mother had a really 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:28.880 hard year last year, one of the hardest years of 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.720 her life following her divorce. Her and my dad are 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:36.840 in a good space right now. And just a brief 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:39.440 update on me and my dad. We are communicating now. 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:41.040 I'm so happy about it. He texted me and told 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:43.440 me Happy Mother's Day. Yass out yet, you know I 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:46.360 was happy as hell. Japa for joy. No one wants 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.000 to be without their dad if their dad is alive. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:49.640 No one wants to be without their dad if their 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.800 dad isn't alive. You know what I mean. In most instances, 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:56.360 you don't want to be without a dad. So I'm 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:58.800 so happy that that man reached out to me. That 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.000 was a quick update. Now my mother, I got to 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:06.479 see her smile so hard. I got to see her 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:10.520 glow like right before my eyes. I got to see 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:14.640 her just thrive off of herself and be in her 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:18.160 most comfortable space and her most confident state. I've got 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.800 to see that she has lost weight. My mom has 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.440 one of the most beautiful smiles, she has the prettiest 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:29.040 skin like. She's just a radiant, beautiful black woman. And 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.040 it really blots here to my eyes on actual Mother's 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:36.360 Day because she was so overwhelmed with happiness. Okay, So 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.920 I had a show at the Mirrage on Friday. Now, y'all, 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:41.920 I don't think it was gonna be a good weekend 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:45.120 because this is the first time I haven't sold out 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:48.680 a casino in Vegas. Now, I want a couple of 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.440 months ago me and ch Go being co headlined together 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.840 at the Mirage. But every year before that, I've sold 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.280 it out every time. And this particularly year, Chris Rock 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.760 was right across the street. That's Heaser was doing his 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:05.040 show Friday and Saturday. You know, so surrounding all of 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.560 his controversy, you know, with the slap and everything, people 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.440 are curious to see what he has to talk about 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:13.079 on stage, although he told everyone that he's not even 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.960 talking about getting slapped and ship until he gets paid. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.040 I don't know who he's suing or who's paying him, 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.320 but he said he's not talking about that ship, which 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:24.440 I can respect. But people wanted to just see if 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.160 he would even briefly touch on it. So of course 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.880 my show was shortened by people who wanted to go 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:31.519 see Chris Rock. I ain't gonna lie. I wanted to 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:35.040 go see the Nicotu. But um, overall, the show was 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:37.480 sevent sold out. I wish it could have been a hundred, 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:40.400 but I'm still blessed in Holly favorite to say that 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:44.640 I put seventy of the whole capacity, and the seats 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:48.200 that night on Friday, they all came to laugh at 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:52.440 the infamous jet hilarious. So I do think everyone that 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.560 came out, and all the people who bought their moms 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:57.960 out to my show. Like I said, I didn't think 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.000 it was gonna be a good weekend because I hate 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:04.040 under selling, but my mom's happiness made up for that. 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.440 We landed Friday. I took her to restaurant that she's 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:11.520 never even seen. I took her to see Bruno, Mars 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:14.320 and Anderson Pack, you know, Silk Sonic. She sat right 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:17.480 next to Titia Campbell, Gina from Martin. A lot of 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:19.120 people don't know her real name. I don't know how 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.080 you can't, but yeah, she had a blast. She had 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:25.840 a ball. I was very excited for her, and for 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:29.519 the first time I felt like her parents. Growing up, 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.000 all my mother did for me and my brother was 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.119 trying to make us happy, worked hard day and day out. 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.840 Her and my dad. No, we really didn't get to travel. 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.360 I mean that really wasn't on our palette growing up, 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.800 small family from Baltimore. However, me and my brother were 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.440 still spoiled. We just never really got to travel a 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.520 lot of places, just because that just wasn't my family's thing. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:53.960 So as I stepped into my stardom and I started traveling, 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:56.640 my mother became very curious. But she was always scared 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:58.400 to get on a plane. She never wanted to ste 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:00.880 on a plane for longer than an hour, so you know, 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.840 she just never flown as much. When I say this 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:08.080 woman had the time of her life, and me watching that, 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.280 it was like she was just reborn again, the happiness 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.960 across her face every day, every day we did something. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.560 I took her to Madam Two Sides, the Museum you know, 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:19.560 a lot of y'all probably already went there. She could 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:21.760 not believe it. She's never seen a wax figure in 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:26.760 her face before. Just the smaller things made her so appreciative. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.919 I took her an s t K, one of the 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.400 best steakhouses in Vegas. In my opinion. STK is beautiful. 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.080 I took it a Benny Hanna you know she had 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:39.000 She's had hibachi before, but it was just a different experience. 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.560 The chef that we got, he was a comedian, actually 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:44.960 an influencer, you know, this Asian duty was hilarious, funny 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.159 as hell. The food was good, the atmosphere was banging, 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.920 you know. With at Benny Hanna's you made get seated 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.000 with strangers unless your party is big enough to take 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:54.360 up the whole table. Me being just hilarious, I don't care. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.400 I'm a people's person. Anyway, we set with strangers. This 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:59.800 woman had a smile. I know, her cheekbones got to 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:04.000 be hurting. Okay, she had so much fun and like 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:07.080 I said, for the first time, she wasn't making me happy. 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.480 I was making her happy. It was just making me 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.239 happy to see her smile. All my mom has done 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.840 has lived her life for her children and her family, 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:19.760 like she just always was a provider and a caretaker 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.279 for us, where she kind of like forgot about herself 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:26.240 throughout the years. Because even her job consists of taking 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.120 care of kids. She's a childcare administrator, she has a preschool, 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:31.960 she takes care of children. So she's been taking care 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.919 of people her whole life. Not to mention her mom, 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:38.200 who was now deceased, my grandmother, Arline, she took care 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:40.800 of her too, So that's all she's been doing. And 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:44.280 she's been just the most selfless woman up until now. 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.880 It's never too late to start living for yourself. Never 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:50.880 too late. My mom is fifty four. She has so 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:54.719 much life left that she didn't even realize until she 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:58.160 started living for herself, until she started taking risk, until 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:02.160 she started living spontaneously and just being more outgoing and 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.440 not worrying about failing, and not worrying about who's watching, 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.039 and not worrying about the validation of other people. And 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.160 in that I'm not even talking about social media. WI 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:15.120 hasn't talking about her family, you know, trying to look perfect. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.480 She's always been the perfect mom to me, but now 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:20.719 she's more perfect than she's ever been. If you love me, 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.360 You'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.640 Mother's Day I got to spend it with my mom 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.960 out of town and another element, so that made me 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.920 feel good. But I also wanted to make up for 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.680 her being without her mom on Mother's Day. My mother 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:41.080 and my grandmother were very close. My grandmother had other children, 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.440 but she was the closest to my mother, and it 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.960 was very hard when we lost her. It was hard 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:48.440 for my mother, and she still didn't shed one tear 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.880 in front of her children. She's just been the backbone 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:55.160 for the family since I was born. But I know 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:57.039 it hurts her. I'm grown now and I can think 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.240 back on things, and I'm like, I remember hearing her 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:02.479 cry at night, she would close her door, stuff like that, 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:05.800 just struggling, not having her mom, not being happy, not 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:07.919 you know, but she will wake up and put that 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.480 smile on every day where now she doesn't have to 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.600 wake up and where a mask for a smile, It's 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:17.400 genuinely there. I want to pay how much to the 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.720 people who have lost their moms as well, just like 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:23.480 my mother, he gets very hard being without the person 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.320 that birth with you, especially if you were very close 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:30.240 to them. I have friends who don't have their moms anymore. 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:35.640 I have x Is who has lost their moms. I 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:39.560 have family who has lost their moms, and it affects 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.800 them all differently. I see Ashton's dad, he doesn't have 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:45.320 his mom. It affects Rome tremendously that he doesn't have 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.520 his mother. Keisha was his everything. He found his mother dead. 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:51.440 That's a story that he tells quite frequently, and it 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:53.560 hits him like a ton of bricks every time he's 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.320 telling the story, whether he's drunk or sober. He hasn't 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.160 moved on yet. Rome is thirty. He lost his mom 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.280 twenty years ago. Some people never get over that hurt 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:06.640 of losing someone. That's why he feels abandoned in certain relationships. 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:10.280 That's why he feels abandoned so much. That's why I'm 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.480 always there for him. That's why he's never gonna stop 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:16.400 being my friend, my closest friend. Rome is like my 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.160 best friend. We're not attracted to each other at all, 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:20.800 but I would give him my last I would do 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:24.040 anything for him that he needed me to do within reason, 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:26.320 of course, you know, and I know he would do 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:29.120 the same. He's a very fragile person. He's a great 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.080 person and he has great intentions, but he's a very 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:36.080 damaged person. He's so fragile, and that comes from losing 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.560 his mother. I remember having a conversation with him where 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.800 he actually had blamed her for leaving. You know, you 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:45.600 can start actually developing that in your mind, developing a 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:49.000 certain blame on the person that you lost in your 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.520 mind if you feel as if you didn't get a 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.240 proper goodbye. And that's how he felt. That's how he 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.079 felt for a long time. And he's come a long way, 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.720 because no, he doesn't feel that way anymore. But I 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:03.840 remember when I first met him, it really really hurt him. 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:07.040 We were heading into our twenties. We were both eighteen 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.040 going on nineteen. Had Ashton when I was twenty, and 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:14.040 ever since that year, I just every Mother's Day since 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:18.199 I met Rome, I've had twelve Mother's Days with him, 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.640 and each one is always the same as hard. He'll 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:23.319 get flowers, he'll go to his mom's grave and talk 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:27.520 to her for hours, He'll cry four hours. He'll drink 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.560 that day to try to numb the pain of missing 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.760 her and reminiscing when I'm trying to tell him, it's 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.960 okay to reminisce, and it doesn't always help reassuring these 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:41.280 people that their mother is in a better place, because 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.679 that's not a better place to them. The better place 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:47.480 will be with them. But things happen in life. You 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:50.600 know when you can't either let it scar you or 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:54.360 build you make you stronger. Like I said, I've had 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:58.079 exes who has lost their moms and it affects them 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.960 tremendously because these men don't really know how to love. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:04.319 If they've lost their mom at young ages, the life 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.080 was cut short, so their mother didn't get finished raising 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:10.760 a lot of them, So how would they know how 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.839 to go about loving and securing friendships and being able 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:19.280 to even parent themselves. It affects you in different types 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:22.800 of ways. I have a friend she lost her mother 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.680 and you would never even know. Of course, she has 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:30.520 those days where she she dreads Mother's Day. She has 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:33.520 her days where she just feels like this would be 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.560 so much easier with my mom. But she's such a 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:39.800 bubbly person and she spreads love. She continues to make 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.439 sure she's there for people. She has such a huge heart. 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.920 Then I have friends who have lost their moms who 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.720 I know are on drugs now because they can't deal 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.839 with the every day being without that person. They were 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.600 so close to them, they can't let the hurt go. 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.600 I just want to let you guys know, it gets better. 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.680 It can get better. You have to be open to 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:07.080 things like therapy, talking to your other family members. Talk 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:08.800 to your dad. If you don't have your dad, talked 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:10.760 to your grandparents, you don't have your grandparents, go look 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:14.000 for love and those cousins and your aunt's your uncle's. 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:16.560 Family is like the biggest thing you know, and a 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:19.480 lot of times family deceive you. But family is really 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.360 all you have in this world if you think about it, 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:23.960 And that's why you have to try to make the 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:26.480 best of it, because when you leave this earth, it's 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.720 really not about what you didn't get to do. It's 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:33.280 about the people that you leave behind and how much 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:36.080 they miss you and the memories and the thoughts that 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:38.600 they have of you when you're gone. You know a 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:41.000 lot of people always say, oh, you didn't care until 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.400 he died, You didn't care until she died. You didn't care, 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.680 And that is true. I always feel that. So that's 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:50.120 why you have to check on your family's You have 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.240 to stay in better in people's lives. Even if you 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:57.000 don't really necessarily deem it necessary, you will when they pass. 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.400 If they're your family. Everyone who's going through something with 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.640 their mother, you only get one of those. If there 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.280 are drug addictions, if they're selfishness. I was just watching 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:09.079 eight miles. That's really a true story because there are 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:13.400 moms like that, Rabbit's mom, the character Eminem played, which 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.480 I believe was his self. That's not what I'm saying. 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.000 It's a true story. It's a true story because there 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.560 are really moms like that who depend on men who 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.760 put other people before their their children, who put habits 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:29.840 before their children, who put you know, men, friendships, going out, nightlife, anything, 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:34.600 your children. Remember that. Your children are like sponges, and 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.280 then they remember and they can one day pull you 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.600 up on this ship. Hold up, hold up, I know 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.800 the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.040 of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:49.400 I have family members who don't even have relationships with 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:54.000 their parents because of how they were neglected growing up, 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.319 and I still pushed them to go and make that right. 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:58.600 You never know what someone is going through when you 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.960 become a mother at a young age and you don't 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:04.839 even have the slightest of of a good upbringing, then 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.920 that's projected onto your children and should is hereditary. That 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:09.480 shi is in your blood, that sh is in your 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:12.679 personality and traits that are passed down from your parents. 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:15.720 So you have to break cycles and you have to 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.480 realize that you have to figure out ways to do 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:21.880 that methodically. I also want to give a shout out 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:26.520 to the moms who can't have children but they still 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:30.360 raise children, the moms who don't have children biologically, but 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:34.400 they still raise children, because just because you didn't pop 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:36.800 a baby out does not mean you are not a mother. 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.400 My mother is a mother to so many kids that 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:44.280 she didn't even biologically have. My mother biologically has two children, 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.120 but she has so many other kids that she's raised 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:51.800 and she's helped raise. There are women who take other 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:55.960 people's kids, and my great grandmother she did. They care 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.800 for a living. One day, somebody left their child and 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.880 never came back. She could have took that child to 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.400 their father. She could have took that child to the 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.040 emergency contact on the damn card. She took that baby 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:12.400 in Richard, he's my cousin and even though my great 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.600 grandmother raised Richard with all the love and care that 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.880 she could I'm talking about, gave him everything he wanted, 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.800 spoiled him to the point where he was bad. He 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:27.280 was bad as shit, and he got away with everything. 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:31.560 And that's because he was favored by my great grandmother 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.280 because he was left there, so she always had a 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:38.000 soft spot. She always sympathized with his behavior. She always 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:39.680 let him get away with a lot of ship because 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.640 that was his way of lashing out. He missed his mother. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:44.880 She left him as a kid. I think he was 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.880 like five or six. That affected him. He grew up 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.800 and he's now grown grown ass man and he still 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:55.320 has issues, mental issues. But his mother did too. She 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.680 was a young woman, beautiful young lady, but she had 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.520 issues and that's why she left her son. She knew 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:04.120 he would be safe with my great grandmother. That doesn't 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.400 justify her leaving him, which as a mother, she still 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:11.240 had to make that decision as a young addict mentally ill, 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.240 she still knew to leave him with someone that she 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.240 knew would take care of him. But that still affects 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.360 him even as an adult right now. And it's bad 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.440 because he don't know where she is. And my great 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:26.480 grandmother has now passed, and he was so bad growing 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.840 up that he burned a lot of bridges with a 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:32.240 lot of my family. So it's just like now he 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:36.880 could probably be lost again, you know. So it's a pattern. 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.680 It's a generational curse a lot, and people go through things. 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.280 You never know what they're going through and you never 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.240 know how they're coping to get through it. So with 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:48.680 that being said, I do want to shout out every 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:53.520 kind of mother, the biological moms, the foster care moms. 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:57.080 That is a hard thing to do, being a foster 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.800 care more. My aunt has been a foster care mom forever. 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:04.520 She has had children that has abused her, stolen from 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:08.120 her everything. You never know what you're gonna get when 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.280 you adopt. You never know where these people come from, 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:15.040 who birth these kids, just how messed up their parents were, 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:19.800 what they're gonna be like, what they actually inherited from 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.920 their parents, You don't know. It's like reaching in a 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.800 hat with your eyes cloths and pulling out something you 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:28.800 don't know what it's gonna be. That's anonymous, that's a gamble, 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.680 but it's nothing wrong with it. That just goes to 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.560 show you people have hearts. If you can really take 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:38.120 on the responsibility of raising someone that you did not 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.840 biologically have, that you know may potentially have problems that 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.800 didn't come from you, you are a brave ass person. Now. 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:46.360 A lot of people do it for the wrong reasons. 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:49.240 A lot of people adopt children for money. A lot 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:52.119 of people get into the foster care business for benefits, 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:55.040 which is fucked up as well. But you do have 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:59.400 people that genuinely care for kids, genuinely care for these 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:03.720 orphans and motherless children and perilous children. That takes a 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.120 certain type of person, And I just want to commend 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:10.439 those who do the work because you will forever be 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.280 blessed in ways that you can't even imagine. And just 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:16.720 like that, I'm gonna end this episode because this is 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:20.239 very emotional for me. I love you guys. Tune in 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.359 next week every week. Too Carefully Reckless and in my 0:17:23.480 --> 0:18:02.280 deepest Pam voice, peace. Oh. Carefully Reckless is a production 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:05.040 of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:08.240 podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:11.679 Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.