1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, oh Ship we want to air. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,799 Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: girl just hilarious. Now listen. A couple of days ago, 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: it was Mother's Day and I want to take the 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: time to acknowledge all the mothers like I did on 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: my Live On actual Mother's Day, I took my mother 8 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: to Vegas. As y'all know, my mother had a really 9 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: hard year last year, one of the hardest years of 10 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: her life following her divorce. Her and my dad are 11 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,840 Speaker 1: in a good space right now. And just a brief 12 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: update on me and my dad. We are communicating now. 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: I'm so happy about it. He texted me and told 14 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: me Happy Mother's Day. Yass out yet, you know I 15 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: was happy as hell. Japa for joy. No one wants 16 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: to be without their dad if their dad is alive. 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: No one wants to be without their dad if their 18 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: dad isn't alive. You know what I mean. In most instances, 19 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: you don't want to be without a dad. So I'm 20 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: so happy that that man reached out to me. That 21 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: was a quick update. Now my mother, I got to 22 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 1: see her smile so hard. I got to see her 23 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: glow like right before my eyes. I got to see 24 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: her just thrive off of herself and be in her 25 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: most comfortable space and her most confident state. I've got 26 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: to see that she has lost weight. My mom has 27 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful smiles, she has the prettiest 28 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: skin like. She's just a radiant, beautiful black woman. And 29 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: it really blots here to my eyes on actual Mother's 30 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: Day because she was so overwhelmed with happiness. Okay, So 31 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: I had a show at the Mirrage on Friday. Now, y'all, 32 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: I don't think it was gonna be a good weekend 33 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: because this is the first time I haven't sold out 34 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: a casino in Vegas. Now, I want a couple of 35 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: months ago me and ch Go being co headlined together 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: at the Mirage. But every year before that, I've sold 37 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: it out every time. And this particularly year, Chris Rock 38 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: was right across the street. That's Heaser was doing his 39 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: show Friday and Saturday. You know, so surrounding all of 40 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: his controversy, you know, with the slap and everything, people 41 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: are curious to see what he has to talk about 42 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: on stage, although he told everyone that he's not even 43 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: talking about getting slapped and ship until he gets paid. 44 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: I don't know who he's suing or who's paying him, 45 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: but he said he's not talking about that ship, which 46 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: I can respect. But people wanted to just see if 47 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: he would even briefly touch on it. So of course 48 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: my show was shortened by people who wanted to go 49 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 1: see Chris Rock. I ain't gonna lie. I wanted to 50 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: go see the Nicotu. But um, overall, the show was 51 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: sevent sold out. I wish it could have been a hundred, 52 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: but I'm still blessed in Holly favorite to say that 53 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: I put seventy of the whole capacity, and the seats 54 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: that night on Friday, they all came to laugh at 55 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: the infamous jet hilarious. So I do think everyone that 56 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: came out, and all the people who bought their moms 57 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: out to my show. Like I said, I didn't think 58 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: it was gonna be a good weekend because I hate 59 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: under selling, but my mom's happiness made up for that. 60 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: We landed Friday. I took her to restaurant that she's 61 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: never even seen. I took her to see Bruno, Mars 62 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: and Anderson Pack, you know, Silk Sonic. She sat right 63 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: next to Titia Campbell, Gina from Martin. A lot of 64 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: people don't know her real name. I don't know how 65 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: you can't, but yeah, she had a blast. She had 66 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: a ball. I was very excited for her, and for 67 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,519 Speaker 1: the first time I felt like her parents. Growing up, 68 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: all my mother did for me and my brother was 69 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,119 Speaker 1: trying to make us happy, worked hard day and day out. 70 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: Her and my dad. No, we really didn't get to travel. 71 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: I mean that really wasn't on our palette growing up, 72 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: small family from Baltimore. However, me and my brother were 73 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: still spoiled. We just never really got to travel a 74 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: lot of places, just because that just wasn't my family's thing. 75 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: So as I stepped into my stardom and I started traveling, 76 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: my mother became very curious. But she was always scared 77 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: to get on a plane. She never wanted to ste 78 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: on a plane for longer than an hour, so you know, 79 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: she just never flown as much. When I say this 80 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: woman had the time of her life, and me watching that, 81 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: it was like she was just reborn again, the happiness 82 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: across her face every day, every day we did something. 83 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: I took her to Madam Two Sides, the Museum you know, 84 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: a lot of y'all probably already went there. She could 85 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: not believe it. She's never seen a wax figure in 86 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: her face before. Just the smaller things made her so appreciative. 87 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: I took her an s t K, one of the 88 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: best steakhouses in Vegas. In my opinion. STK is beautiful. 89 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: I took it a Benny Hanna you know she had 90 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: She's had hibachi before, but it was just a different experience. 91 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: The chef that we got, he was a comedian, actually 92 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: an influencer, you know, this Asian duty was hilarious, funny 93 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 1: as hell. The food was good, the atmosphere was banging, 94 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: you know. With at Benny Hanna's you made get seated 95 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: with strangers unless your party is big enough to take 96 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,360 Speaker 1: up the whole table. Me being just hilarious, I don't care. 97 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: I'm a people's person. Anyway, we set with strangers. This 98 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: woman had a smile. I know, her cheekbones got to 99 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: be hurting. Okay, she had so much fun and like 100 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: I said, for the first time, she wasn't making me happy. 101 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: I was making her happy. It was just making me 102 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,239 Speaker 1: happy to see her smile. All my mom has done 103 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 1: has lived her life for her children and her family, 104 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: like she just always was a provider and a caretaker 105 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 1: for us, where she kind of like forgot about herself 106 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: throughout the years. Because even her job consists of taking 107 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: care of kids. She's a childcare administrator, she has a preschool, 108 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: she takes care of children. So she's been taking care 109 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: of people her whole life. Not to mention her mom, 110 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: who was now deceased, my grandmother, Arline, she took care 111 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: of her too, So that's all she's been doing. And 112 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: she's been just the most selfless woman up until now. 113 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: It's never too late to start living for yourself. Never 114 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: too late. My mom is fifty four. She has so 115 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: much life left that she didn't even realize until she 116 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 1: started living for herself, until she started taking risk, until 117 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: she started living spontaneously and just being more outgoing and 118 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: not worrying about failing, and not worrying about who's watching, 119 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 1: and not worrying about the validation of other people. And 120 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: in that I'm not even talking about social media. WI 121 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: hasn't talking about her family, you know, trying to look perfect. 122 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: She's always been the perfect mom to me, but now 123 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: she's more perfect than she's ever been. If you love me, 124 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: You'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. 125 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: Mother's Day I got to spend it with my mom 126 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: out of town and another element, so that made me 127 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: feel good. But I also wanted to make up for 128 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: her being without her mom on Mother's Day. My mother 129 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: and my grandmother were very close. My grandmother had other children, 130 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: but she was the closest to my mother, and it 131 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: was very hard when we lost her. It was hard 132 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: for my mother, and she still didn't shed one tear 133 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: in front of her children. She's just been the backbone 134 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: for the family since I was born. But I know 135 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,039 Speaker 1: it hurts her. I'm grown now and I can think 136 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: back on things, and I'm like, I remember hearing her 137 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: cry at night, she would close her door, stuff like that, 138 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: just struggling, not having her mom, not being happy, not 139 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: you know, but she will wake up and put that 140 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: smile on every day where now she doesn't have to 141 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: wake up and where a mask for a smile, It's 142 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: genuinely there. I want to pay how much to the 143 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: people who have lost their moms as well, just like 144 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: my mother, he gets very hard being without the person 145 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: that birth with you, especially if you were very close 146 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: to them. I have friends who don't have their moms anymore. 147 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: I have x Is who has lost their moms. I 148 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: have family who has lost their moms, and it affects 149 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: them all differently. I see Ashton's dad, he doesn't have 150 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: his mom. It affects Rome tremendously that he doesn't have 151 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: his mother. Keisha was his everything. He found his mother dead. 152 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 1: That's a story that he tells quite frequently, and it 153 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: hits him like a ton of bricks every time he's 154 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: telling the story, whether he's drunk or sober. He hasn't 155 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: moved on yet. Rome is thirty. He lost his mom 156 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: twenty years ago. Some people never get over that hurt 157 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: of losing someone. That's why he feels abandoned in certain relationships. 158 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: That's why he feels abandoned so much. That's why I'm 159 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: always there for him. That's why he's never gonna stop 160 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: being my friend, my closest friend. Rome is like my 161 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: best friend. We're not attracted to each other at all, 162 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: but I would give him my last I would do 163 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: anything for him that he needed me to do within reason, 164 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: of course, you know, and I know he would do 165 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: the same. He's a very fragile person. He's a great 166 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: person and he has great intentions, but he's a very 167 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: damaged person. He's so fragile, and that comes from losing 168 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: his mother. I remember having a conversation with him where 169 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: he actually had blamed her for leaving. You know, you 170 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: can start actually developing that in your mind, developing a 171 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: certain blame on the person that you lost in your 172 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: mind if you feel as if you didn't get a 173 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: proper goodbye. And that's how he felt. That's how he 174 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,079 Speaker 1: felt for a long time. And he's come a long way, 175 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: because no, he doesn't feel that way anymore. But I 176 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: remember when I first met him, it really really hurt him. 177 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: We were heading into our twenties. We were both eighteen 178 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: going on nineteen. Had Ashton when I was twenty, and 179 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: ever since that year, I just every Mother's Day since 180 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 1: I met Rome, I've had twelve Mother's Days with him, 181 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: and each one is always the same as hard. He'll 182 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 1: get flowers, he'll go to his mom's grave and talk 183 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: to her for hours, He'll cry four hours. He'll drink 184 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: that day to try to numb the pain of missing 185 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: her and reminiscing when I'm trying to tell him, it's 186 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: okay to reminisce, and it doesn't always help reassuring these 187 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: people that their mother is in a better place, because 188 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: that's not a better place to them. The better place 189 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 1: will be with them. But things happen in life. You 190 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: know when you can't either let it scar you or 191 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: build you make you stronger. Like I said, I've had 192 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: exes who has lost their moms and it affects them 193 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 1: tremendously because these men don't really know how to love. 194 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,319 Speaker 1: If they've lost their mom at young ages, the life 195 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: was cut short, so their mother didn't get finished raising 196 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: a lot of them, So how would they know how 197 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,839 Speaker 1: to go about loving and securing friendships and being able 198 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: to even parent themselves. It affects you in different types 199 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: of ways. I have a friend she lost her mother 200 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 1: and you would never even know. Of course, she has 201 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 1: those days where she she dreads Mother's Day. She has 202 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: her days where she just feels like this would be 203 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: so much easier with my mom. But she's such a 204 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: bubbly person and she spreads love. She continues to make 205 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: sure she's there for people. She has such a huge heart. 206 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: Then I have friends who have lost their moms who 207 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: I know are on drugs now because they can't deal 208 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 1: with the every day being without that person. They were 209 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: so close to them, they can't let the hurt go. 210 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: I just want to let you guys know, it gets better. 211 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: It can get better. You have to be open to 212 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: things like therapy, talking to your other family members. Talk 213 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: to your dad. If you don't have your dad, talked 214 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: to your grandparents, you don't have your grandparents, go look 215 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: for love and those cousins and your aunt's your uncle's. 216 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: Family is like the biggest thing you know, and a 217 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: lot of times family deceive you. But family is really 218 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: all you have in this world if you think about it, 219 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: And that's why you have to try to make the 220 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: best of it, because when you leave this earth, it's 221 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: really not about what you didn't get to do. It's 222 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: about the people that you leave behind and how much 223 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: they miss you and the memories and the thoughts that 224 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: they have of you when you're gone. You know a 225 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: lot of people always say, oh, you didn't care until 226 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: he died, You didn't care until she died. You didn't care, 227 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 1: And that is true. I always feel that. So that's 228 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: why you have to check on your family's You have 229 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: to stay in better in people's lives. Even if you 230 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: don't really necessarily deem it necessary, you will when they pass. 231 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: If they're your family. Everyone who's going through something with 232 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: their mother, you only get one of those. If there 233 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: are drug addictions, if they're selfishness. I was just watching 234 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 1: eight miles. That's really a true story because there are 235 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: moms like that, Rabbit's mom, the character Eminem played, which 236 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: I believe was his self. That's not what I'm saying. 237 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: It's a true story. It's a true story because there 238 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: are really moms like that who depend on men who 239 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: put other people before their their children, who put habits 240 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 1: before their children, who put you know, men, friendships, going out, nightlife, anything, 241 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: your children. Remember that. Your children are like sponges, and 242 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: then they remember and they can one day pull you 243 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: up on this ship. Hold up, hold up, I know 244 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple 245 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. 246 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: I have family members who don't even have relationships with 247 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: their parents because of how they were neglected growing up, 248 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 1: and I still pushed them to go and make that right. 249 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: You never know what someone is going through when you 250 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: become a mother at a young age and you don't 251 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,839 Speaker 1: even have the slightest of of a good upbringing, then 252 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: that's projected onto your children and should is hereditary. That 253 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: shi is in your blood, that sh is in your 254 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 1: personality and traits that are passed down from your parents. 255 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: So you have to break cycles and you have to 256 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: realize that you have to figure out ways to do 257 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: that methodically. I also want to give a shout out 258 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: to the moms who can't have children but they still 259 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: raise children, the moms who don't have children biologically, but 260 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: they still raise children, because just because you didn't pop 261 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: a baby out does not mean you are not a mother. 262 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: My mother is a mother to so many kids that 263 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: she didn't even biologically have. My mother biologically has two children, 264 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 1: but she has so many other kids that she's raised 265 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: and she's helped raise. There are women who take other 266 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: people's kids, and my great grandmother she did. They care 267 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: for a living. One day, somebody left their child and 268 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: never came back. She could have took that child to 269 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: their father. She could have took that child to the 270 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: emergency contact on the damn card. She took that baby 271 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: in Richard, he's my cousin and even though my great 272 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: grandmother raised Richard with all the love and care that 273 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: she could I'm talking about, gave him everything he wanted, 274 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: spoiled him to the point where he was bad. He 275 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 1: was bad as shit, and he got away with everything. 276 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: And that's because he was favored by my great grandmother 277 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: because he was left there, so she always had a 278 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: soft spot. She always sympathized with his behavior. She always 279 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 1: let him get away with a lot of ship because 280 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: that was his way of lashing out. He missed his mother. 281 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: She left him as a kid. I think he was 282 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: like five or six. That affected him. He grew up 283 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: and he's now grown grown ass man and he still 284 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 1: has issues, mental issues. But his mother did too. She 285 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 1: was a young woman, beautiful young lady, but she had 286 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: issues and that's why she left her son. She knew 287 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: he would be safe with my great grandmother. That doesn't 288 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: justify her leaving him, which as a mother, she still 289 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: had to make that decision as a young addict mentally ill, 290 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: she still knew to leave him with someone that she 291 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: knew would take care of him. But that still affects 292 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: him even as an adult right now. And it's bad 293 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: because he don't know where she is. And my great 294 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: grandmother has now passed, and he was so bad growing 295 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: up that he burned a lot of bridges with a 296 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 1: lot of my family. So it's just like now he 297 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 1: could probably be lost again, you know. So it's a pattern. 298 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: It's a generational curse a lot, and people go through things. 299 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: You never know what they're going through and you never 300 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: know how they're coping to get through it. So with 301 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: that being said, I do want to shout out every 302 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 1: kind of mother, the biological moms, the foster care moms. 303 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: That is a hard thing to do, being a foster 304 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: care more. My aunt has been a foster care mom forever. 305 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: She has had children that has abused her, stolen from 306 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: her everything. You never know what you're gonna get when 307 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: you adopt. You never know where these people come from, 308 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: who birth these kids, just how messed up their parents were, 309 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: what they're gonna be like, what they actually inherited from 310 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: their parents, You don't know. It's like reaching in a 311 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: hat with your eyes cloths and pulling out something you 312 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: don't know what it's gonna be. That's anonymous, that's a gamble, 313 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: but it's nothing wrong with it. That just goes to 314 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: show you people have hearts. If you can really take 315 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 1: on the responsibility of raising someone that you did not 316 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: biologically have, that you know may potentially have problems that 317 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 1: didn't come from you, you are a brave ass person. Now. 318 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: A lot of people do it for the wrong reasons. 319 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: A lot of people adopt children for money. A lot 320 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,119 Speaker 1: of people get into the foster care business for benefits, 321 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: which is fucked up as well. But you do have 322 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: people that genuinely care for kids, genuinely care for these 323 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: orphans and motherless children and perilous children. That takes a 324 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 1: certain type of person, And I just want to commend 325 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 1: those who do the work because you will forever be 326 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: blessed in ways that you can't even imagine. And just 327 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: like that, I'm gonna end this episode because this is 328 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,239 Speaker 1: very emotional for me. I love you guys. Tune in 329 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: next week every week. Too Carefully Reckless and in my 330 00:17:23,480 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: deepest Pam voice, peace. Oh. Carefully Reckless is a production 331 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more 332 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 333 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.