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Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, This is cole Minor Sale,

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Speaker 1: And we have.

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Speaker 2: Been digging for stories on the Okay Storytime podcast as

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Speaker 2: long as we can remember saying.

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Speaker 1: And we've found some diamonds of the rough, how don't we? John?

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Speaker 3: That's right?

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Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through

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Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping

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Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on the show.

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Speaker 4: My roommate has been acting odd since I got back

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Speaker 4: together with my boyfriend. Does she want a data? I

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Speaker 4: twenty three female, live with a roommate twenty three female.

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Speaker 4: I will call her Annie, and a second roommate twenty

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Speaker 4: three female, I will call her Becca. We moved to

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Speaker 4: a new city and in together after we graduated college

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Speaker 4: and had gotten extremely close throughout our senior year. By

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Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Express Cheetah seventy twenty six

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Speaker 4: and if you want to spend your own stories, go

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Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay Storytime subpared it.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 4: I started dating Jake twenty three mail right before we

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Speaker 4: moved in August twenty twenty four. Our relationship hit a

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Speaker 4: rough patch early this year and we briefly broke up.

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Speaker 4: Since started getting treatment for mental health issues, and we've

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Speaker 4: been working through things and are back together. The night

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Speaker 4: he broke up with me, we had all been drinking.

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Speaker 4: He came over to my friend's house and broke up

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Speaker 4: with me. Afterwards, Annie texted Jack begging him to come

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Speaker 4: back to the house so that they could talk. She

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Speaker 4: witnessed him breaking up with me. He basically told her

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Speaker 4: no because he had thought she would yell at him.

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Speaker 4: She has always been super protective of me. Annie said

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Speaker 4: some hurtful things to her in response to her not

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Speaker 4: taking no for an answer. During the time we were apart,

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Speaker 4: Anna and Becca both came to me and explained that

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Speaker 4: they thought he had been controlling during our relationship. I

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Speaker 4: started going back to therapy after the breakup and was

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Speaker 4: very open with my therapist about our relationship and her conversations.

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Speaker 4: A therapist and I decided that this was not a

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Speaker 4: toxic relationship or one that I needed to leave. After

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Speaker 4: lots of talking and working through the obstacles in our relationship,

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Speaker 4: we got back together. Both Annie and Becca had told

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Speaker 4: me that although they wished I wouldn't get back together

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Speaker 4: with him, because they think I deserved better, they would

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Speaker 4: support me either way. He spent the night at our

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Speaker 4: apartment and Becca was home, so I let her know

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Speaker 4: he was coming over the next day, Annie was very

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Speaker 4: upset with me, and I did not know why. I

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Speaker 4: went to her room to ask why, and she told

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Speaker 4: me it was nothing and to leave her alone in

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Speaker 4: a dismissive tone. For the next week, she would not

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Speaker 4: look me in the eye or acknowledge my existence. After

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Speaker 4: I tried to talk about it in person and was dismissed,

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Speaker 4: I tried to give her space. I ended up texting

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Speaker 4: her about it because I thought maybe he was too

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Speaker 4: hard to talk about in person. She told me that

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Speaker 4: she was extremely upset that I told Becca before I

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Speaker 4: told her that we got back together. She also wanted

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Speaker 4: space for me and said that I betrayed her and

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Speaker 4: only talked to her when I needed her. We have

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Speaker 4: been best friends for over a year at this point,

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Speaker 4: and I shared a lot with her. She shared a

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Speaker 4: lot with me, and I was there for her through

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Speaker 4: a huge heartbreak and lots of cries. It hurt my

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Speaker 4: feelings that she wrote our friendship off as me just

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Speaker 4: taking advantage of her, when in reality, we both have

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Speaker 4: always been there for each other and had a very

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Speaker 4: meaningful friendship. She always said this to me and constantly

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Speaker 4: thanked me for being the best friend and she's ever had.

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Speaker 4: I respected her wishes and gave her space. After about

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Speaker 4: a month of not talking, I reached out again and

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Speaker 4: asked her if she wanted me to move out. You

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Speaker 4: told me I was crazy for even suggesting that and

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Speaker 4: blamed me for not talking to her and ignoring her.

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Speaker 4: I explained that I tried to give her the space

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Speaker 4: that she asked for and was waiting for her to

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Speaker 4: let me know when she was ready. The conversation ended

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Speaker 4: on good terms, but there wasn't really a resolution. She

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Speaker 4: promised me multiple times that the rift between us had

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Speaker 4: nothing to do with Jack and was just about me

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Speaker 4: being a bad friend. I apologized again and tried to

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Speaker 4: fix it. He had also apologized to her by this

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Speaker 4: point twice, and she forgave him and apologized to him

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Speaker 4: as well. Over the last few months, I have been

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Speaker 4: trying to talk to Annie while still giving her space.

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Speaker 4: Every time I made an attempt, she would either dismiss me,

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Speaker 4: mumble something under her breath, or some days she would

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Speaker 4: be the sweetest, kindest friend that I had been missing.

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Speaker 4: Her boyfriend stays with us often so a lot of

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Speaker 4: the conversations I had with her, he was also there,

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Speaker 4: for he has always been nice to me, and likewise,

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Speaker 4: I started asking her to go on walks alone with

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Speaker 4: me during my lunch breaks when I was working from home,

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Speaker 4: and she always accepted. Every time I thought things were

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Speaker 4: getting better, I would hear from someone else that she's

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Speaker 4: been saying something negative about me or Jack. The final

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Speaker 4: straw was when my old roommate came to visit and

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Speaker 4: Annie told her that I was in a controlling, toxic relationship,

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Speaker 4: ruined all my friendships for in and was male centered,

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Speaker 4: only talked to her when her boyfriend was around, and

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Speaker 4: that she wished that the two of them were friends

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Speaker 4: instead of her and I. It has been very hard

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Speaker 4: to hear those things from someone who used to know

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Speaker 4: me better than anyone in the world. I know in

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Speaker 4: my gut that I am not male centered. Yes, I

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Speaker 4: have a boyfriend, but I also have other friends, lots

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Speaker 4: of hobbies, and constantly do things on my own without him.

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Speaker 4: I also have talked to her plenty of times without

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Speaker 4: her boyfriend there, and I have never been close with

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Speaker 4: him other than simple small talk. I have tried to

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Speaker 4: leave Becca out of all this because I know she

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Speaker 4: is in an uncomfortable position. I missed my friend with her.

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Speaker 4: She recently said the same thing and that she wants

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Speaker 4: to talk about it. But I'm worried about trying to

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Speaker 4: explain how I felt without making her feel like she

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Speaker 4: needs to pick a side. There is a little bit

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Speaker 4: left to the story. Do you have any final or

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Speaker 4: first thoughts.

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Speaker 6: This feels kind of like a classic case of like

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Speaker 6: when they first broke up, they were spending so much

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Speaker 6: more time.

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Speaker 4: Together and she was like, oh my god, this is amazing.

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Speaker 6: And then when it kind of went back to the

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Speaker 6: other way, it wasn't necessarily like you were neglecting your friends.

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Speaker 6: It just wasn't as much time as as you used to.

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Speaker 4: And I also think probably you had complained about his

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Speaker 4: actions and they had never let go of that grudge.

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Speaker 4: Even though you know that you guys have made, you know,

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Speaker 4: changes in your relationship to make it more healthy. Your

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Speaker 4: friends are operating on everything that you told them in

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Speaker 4: the past.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and while it is like very much your relationship

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Speaker 6: and that shouldn't matter, sometimes people hold on.

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Speaker 4: Stuff, which doesn't mean that it's right for them to

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Speaker 4: talk about you. You know, behind your back and complain

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Speaker 4: about you, and you know, it's still not cool of

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Speaker 4: them to do that, and it seems like you have

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Speaker 4: unfortunately lost their friendship or at least how it was

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Speaker 4: before you got back together with your boyfriend. I had

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Speaker 4: a person in my life who would get back and

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Speaker 4: you know, back together with the next and I just

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Speaker 4: have to be like, Okay, I guess we're on board. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: because it sucks. It sucks. You can give advice, but

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Speaker 4: you can only give advice when they ask.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And I'm in a situation now where I have a

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Speaker 4: friend who like probably should not be with their partner,

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Speaker 4: but I can only give them advice and lead them,

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Speaker 4: you know, to a decision, but they have to make

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Speaker 4: that decision, and I can't really do anything else, unfortunately.

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Speaker 4: I guess I'm just trying to find out if I'm

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Speaker 4: overreacting for wanting to move out. I will have to

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Speaker 4: break the lease and find a subleaser and a city

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Speaker 4: that I can barely afford to live alone in, but

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Speaker 4: I feel like it is my only option at this point.

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Speaker 4: It has now been over four months of mostly silence

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Speaker 4: and her sometimes making me feel like it's close to

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Speaker 4: being repaired. Just to dismiss me the next day since

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Speaker 4: I heard about the conversation she had with my old roommate,

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Speaker 4: I just feel so lost, lonely, confused, and like maybe

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Speaker 4: I made up this entire thing, or that maybe it's

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Speaker 4: all my fault. Some days I feel like I'm going crazy,

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Speaker 4: and others I feel like I try my best and

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Speaker 4: need to just give up on any hope of Annie

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Speaker 4: and I being friends again. Annie Inside opinions or advice

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Speaker 4: would be really really appreciated. The comment one says, when

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Speaker 4: does your lease end? It's also surprising to me that

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Speaker 4: both of your close friends and roommates found your boyfriend toxic,

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Speaker 4: but your therapist did not. I mean, yes, yeah, but

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Speaker 4: also I feel like when you are talking to your friends,

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Speaker 4: especially right after a breakup, they're gonna hear the angriest

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Speaker 4: aversion of everything.

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Speaker 3: That he did.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and the therapist might have helped open both sides

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Speaker 6: of yeah, those situations.

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Speaker 4: Like maybe he was like and he always you know,

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Speaker 4: he blamed me for stuff, and he left me, he

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Speaker 4: broke up with me, and you know, did this and this,

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Speaker 4: and then the therapist is like, okay, well, let's was

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Speaker 4: there anything like on both sides was there anything going

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Speaker 4: on like allowed OPI to see the full picture, whereas

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Speaker 4: her friends were seeing only her version or only hearing

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Speaker 4: her very biased version.

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Speaker 6: And are obviously gonna always side.

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Speaker 4: With the press exactly. Not saying either or wrong, but

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Speaker 4: I guess I would look at what behavior has seemed

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Speaker 4: controlling and what he's done to change that. Since you

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Speaker 4: got back together, I can understand how painful it must

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Speaker 4: be for friends who witness you being hurt and are

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Speaker 4: even hurt themselves. Your boyfriend texting me and things to Annie,

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Speaker 4: probably also why she doesn't like him by someone, and

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Speaker 4: then have to watch get back together with them. Opie says,

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Speaker 4: My lease doesn't end until August twenty twenty six. It

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Speaker 4: was controlling in ways of him wanting me to quit

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Speaker 4: vaping because he was worried about my health. For example,

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Speaker 4: I explained to him that although I understood where he

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Speaker 4: was coming from, this was a bit controlling. Maybe yeah,

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Speaker 4: maybe the way he went about it. Sure, sure you

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Speaker 4: didn't get it right away, but after talking to his

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Speaker 4: therapist about it, he apologized and said he overstepped The

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Speaker 4: reason my therapist doesn't see him as toxic, from my understanding,

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Speaker 4: is because he is always able to take accountability for

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Speaker 4: the things he did wrong, and he hasn't made the

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Speaker 4: same mistake twice. I also have been putting myself in

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Speaker 4: their shoes, and I know I would be very sad

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Speaker 4: if either of them got back together with someone who

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Speaker 4: I didn't think was good enough for them, which is

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Speaker 4: why I asked multiple times if that was the issue,

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Speaker 4: and was always met with U, No, he's never been

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Speaker 4: the problem. I don't care if you're back together, which

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Speaker 4: I think is a lie. Bama too. Annie texted Jack

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Speaker 4: begging him to come back to the house so they

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Speaker 4: could talk. She witnessed him breaking up with me. He

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Speaker 4: basically told her no because he thought she would yell

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Speaker 4: at him. TVH. This really stood out to me. This

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Speaker 4: is incredibly weird and controlling on behalf of Annie. The

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Speaker 4: fact that she continues to act hot and cold and

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Speaker 4: bad Matthew is also ultimately on her too. That's a

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Speaker 4: great point. That was weird of her. I mean, whether

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Speaker 4: or not she was doing it because she was into

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Speaker 4: him or because she was standing up for her friend. Weird,

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Speaker 4: weird move, even if your boyfriend is bad news or whatever,

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Speaker 4: and he sounds it TVH again beaving abusively as well.

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Speaker 4: Isn't a healthy thing to do. I note also that

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Speaker 4: imic where she seems on the verge of repair and

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Speaker 4: then goes back to cold again. This is a very

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Speaker 4: common toxic tactic. If she was just rude twenty four

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Speaker 4: to seven, you would have moved out very quickly. But

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Speaker 4: by being occasionally kind, it got you questioning everything. You're

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Speaker 4: not overacting. The final straw absolutely is the final straw,

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Speaker 4: and folks, that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: My sister in law kept taking over my wedding. It

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Speaker 1: made me want to uninvite her.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand why you will get all the attention today.

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Speaker 1: My fiance, Nay twenty seven mal and I twenty six female,

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Speaker 1: have been together for almost three years. He proposed to

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Speaker 1: me about six months ago and shortly after we found

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Speaker 1: out I was pregnant. We were planning on having our

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Speaker 1: wedding in the spring of next year. Nay has a

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Speaker 1: twin sister, let's call her Kayla, who is twenty seven female.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Throwaway sixty two and

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Speaker 1: if you want to sing your own stories, go to

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Speaker 1: the ours. So I showkay stories on Sabreta. Nay and

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Speaker 1: I announced our engagement and my pregnancy at the same time.

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Speaker 1: We made a cute little Facebook post with a couple

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Speaker 1: engagement picks an ultrasound photo that's said something along the

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Speaker 1: lines off the Smith family is going to have two

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Speaker 1: new editions. Tayla commented almost immediately that we will have

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Speaker 1: to wait until next year to actually get married because

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Speaker 1: she looks best in fall colors, and as my maid

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Speaker 1: of honor, she'll get a say in choosing bridesmaid's addresses.

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Speaker 1: I literally stared at my phone screen, wondering if I

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Speaker 1: read something wrong. I showed the comments tonight and asked

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Speaker 1: him why she thought she would be my maid of honor. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: no glue. So I texted her and this is how

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Speaker 1: that exchange went. Hey, Kayla, I saw that you saw

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Speaker 1: our announcement on Facebook. Thank you for being ready to

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Speaker 1: step up for me. But we haven't started working out

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Speaker 1: the wedding logistics yet, and I haven't picked my bridesmaids

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Speaker 1: much yet my maid of honor. Once we have more

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Speaker 1: details of the wedding worked out, we'll let you know.

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Speaker 7: Well, you don't have to choose made of honor anymore.

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Speaker 7: I'm your maid of honor.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand I never asked you to be.

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Speaker 4: You don't have to ask.

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Speaker 7: That's what makes me such a good sister.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you're not my maid of honor.

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Speaker 4: We'll see about that.

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Speaker 1: I showed these messages tonight. Who said he would have

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Speaker 1: to deal with it. I have no idea what the

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Speaker 1: extent of our conversation was, but Kayla never brought up

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Speaker 1: being my maid of honor again. I just reread her

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Speaker 1: ugly attitude in different ways. As of now, Nay and

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Speaker 1: I have booked the venue, caterer, the florals, decorations, and

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Speaker 1: the DJ Already. A couple of months ago, I invited

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Speaker 1: mine and Nate's mothers, along with my sister Sam, who

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Speaker 1: I will ask to be my maid of honor, to

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Speaker 1: do some dress shopping. Kayla found out from her mom

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Speaker 1: and invited herself tag long. We started looking for a

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Speaker 1: dress for Sam. I one of my brides made in

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Speaker 1: a pretty pastel yellow, but Sam is going to be

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Speaker 1: more golden. Kayla would not shut up about how yellow

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Speaker 1: is such an al car and I should go with

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Speaker 1: pink or blue instead. She even grabbed a bunch of

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Speaker 1: pink and blue dresses to try on herself. I tried

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Speaker 1: my best to ignore her while her mother entertained her

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Speaker 1: bizarre ideas. Sam and my mother were making constant comments

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Speaker 1: about how it's my wedding and if Kayla isn't going

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Speaker 1: to be helpful, she should just leave. Unfortunately, she did it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm too nice to punt her out in front

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Speaker 1: of my mother in law, who I already have a

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Speaker 1: strained relationship with. Our mothers were able to shop for

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Speaker 1: their dresses with little interference from Kayla, but as soon

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Speaker 1: as I started trying things on, she had all sorts

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Speaker 1: of things to say. She would tell me that certain

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Speaker 1: styles wouldn't look good once I had a baby bod,

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Speaker 1: and even told me I should consider not wearing white,

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Speaker 1: as I'm obviously not a virgin. I told her she

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Speaker 1: wasn't a virgin when she got married either, yet she

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Speaker 1: still wore an adorable white sun dressed to the courthouse.

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Speaker 1: She grumbled about how that wasn't the same, but I

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Speaker 1: was already halfway back to the changing room. I still

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Speaker 1: don't know what happened while I was there, but when

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Speaker 1: I came out, Kayla and mother in law were gone,

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Speaker 1: and Sam had a smug smile on her face. I

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Speaker 1: never discussed any details of the wedding with Kayla if

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Speaker 1: I could help it, but I've heard Nate sharing some

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Speaker 1: of our plans with her. He told her we were

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Speaker 1: planning on a buffet style mill because we have a

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Speaker 1: lot of dietary restrictions with her family, and that was

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Speaker 1: the cheapest way to accommodate everybody, literally like a few

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars difference, and she told her he deserves someone

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Speaker 1: who wouldn't go cheap on his wedding, even though the

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Speaker 1: buffet was his idea. He told her about our venue choices.

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Speaker 1: He picked out the reception venue. I picked up the

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Speaker 1: ceremony venue, which is the same place as my parents

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Speaker 1: got married. My father passed away, and since he cannot

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Speaker 1: walk me down the aisle, I always wanted to get

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Speaker 1: married in the same place he was married with my

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Speaker 1: mom to sort of feel like he was there with us.

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Speaker 1: She told Nate that my venue choice was techy and

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Speaker 1: people would make fun of us when you mention he

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Speaker 1: wanted to DJ. She made a comment about how she

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Speaker 1: knew I wasn't classy enough to want a live band.

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Speaker 1: Each and every time she would make a comment like this,

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Speaker 1: Nate would tell her that they were his ideas, but

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Speaker 1: not call her out for how she spoke about me,

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Speaker 1: which I do feel a little hurt by. I expressed

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Speaker 1: this to him, and he told me that he would

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Speaker 1: try to do better about calling her out. But she's

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Speaker 1: always just been this way. I knew they were about

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Speaker 1: to say that every time people act this way right

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Speaker 1: after that, she's always been this way. We can't help it,

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Speaker 1: that's just how she is. I told him that's no

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Speaker 1: excuse for her to be disrespectful and stick her nose

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Speaker 1: in her business that doesn't concern her. He hesitatedly agreed.

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Speaker 1: On Friday, I got an email from the venue for

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Speaker 1: our ceremony confirming our cancelation and ask you if we

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Speaker 1: need a reschedule. I knew this part was going to

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Speaker 1: happen too. Shortly after that, I got a voicemail from

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Speaker 1: our caterer explaining that my new wedding planner had just

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Speaker 1: called but the line had dropped and was wondering if

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Speaker 1: I could pass along her phone number so they could

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Speaker 1: finish going over the changes in the menu. I immediately

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Speaker 1: emailed the venue back, saying, no, we're not canceling or rescheduling.

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Speaker 1: Please keep our original dates on the books. I called

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Speaker 1: the caterer, who explained that a woman had called and

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Speaker 1: said she was my new wedding planner. She said that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to make some changes to the buffet contract,

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Speaker 1: namely switching from a buffet style to plated meals. I

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Speaker 1: told him that was not the case. I do not

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Speaker 1: have a wedding planner, and please do not make any

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Speaker 1: changes unless contacted by me or Nate directly with the

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Speaker 1: contact information we have on file. The caterer suggests putting

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Speaker 1: a password on fire. Also, he said he wouldn't make

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Speaker 1: any changes unless the person requesting them knew the password.

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Speaker 1: I called both venues and all of her other venues

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Speaker 1: to put in place the same types of precautions. They

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Speaker 1: gave their sympathies for me that having to deal with this.

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Speaker 1: When they got home from work, I confronted him about it.

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Speaker 1: I told him someone tried to cancel my venue and

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Speaker 1: change your catering. I told him the only person it

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Speaker 1: could be is Kayla. He tried to deny and say

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Speaker 1: that she wouldn't do it, but I reminded him of

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Speaker 1: how she undermined and insulted me during every step of

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Speaker 1: this engagement. I told him I wanted her uninvited. I

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Speaker 1: will give someone who has already done so much to

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Speaker 1: make this wedding stressful the opportunity to do something like

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Speaker 1: show up and why he fought me on this, but

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Speaker 1: I basically told him that I felt disrespected by him

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Speaker 1: over how he is treating Kayla to treat me. I

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Speaker 1: am his partner, I'm the mother of his child. My

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Speaker 1: feelings in comfort should be more important to him than

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Speaker 1: his sister's childish annex. He met with her for lunch

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Speaker 1: earlier today, and once we got deserved, he asked her

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Speaker 1: if she was trying to make changes to our wedding plannings.

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Speaker 1: She said, and I, well, yeah, it's the maid of

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Speaker 1: honor's job to make sure the bride is making the

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Speaker 1: right decisions before Nate. But even say anything. I told

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Speaker 1: her she is not my maid of honor, and if

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Speaker 1: she was, that would not give her the authority to

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Speaker 1: undermine our decisions and make changes to the wedding plenties

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Speaker 1: and budget behind our backs. She said she didn't see

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Speaker 1: what the big deal was since her grandmother had offered

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Speaker 1: us a pretty large chunk of change as a present

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Speaker 1: to help pay for the wedding. I told her again,

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Speaker 1: the wedding budget is none of her business. Yeah, we

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00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,199
Speaker 1: try to argue, but I just cut her off. I

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Speaker 1: told her that her behavior regarding our wedding thus far

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Speaker 1: has been nothing disrespectful and insulting. I told her trying

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Speaker 1: to cancel my venue at cross the line and she

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Speaker 1: was no longer invited to the wedding. She seemed absolutely

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Speaker 1: shocked by this. He looked at Nate, waiting for him

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Speaker 1: to defend her, and then he did. He looked at

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Speaker 1: me and said, why don't you give her one more chance?

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Speaker 1: I asked if he was kidding. He said, no, Halo

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Speaker 1: was only doing what she though so it was best

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Speaker 1: for us, and now that we've told her that it

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Speaker 1: wasn't okay, we should give her another chance to correct

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Speaker 1: her behavior. I didn't even respond. I just got up

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Speaker 1: and left. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Good, because that's the thing. She doesn't realize that this

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Speaker 4: isn't okay.

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Speaker 7: She literally you called her out on this, said that

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Speaker 7: this wasn't okay, and she was like, I don't see

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Speaker 7: the big deal.

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Speaker 3: She never got to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: I went and got in my car and drove home,

409
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: thanking to myself, if you wanted to side with a sister,

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00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 1: then he could rely on her to get home. I

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00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 1: ignored him trying to get a hold of me. Once

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00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 1: at home, I packed a small bag and left for

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Speaker 1: Sam's house. I told her everything, and she told me

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Speaker 1: I could stay as long as I needed to. But

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Speaker 1: now she's at work for the night, and that's where

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Speaker 1: I am trying to process what just happened, trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out when I became second place in Nate's live,

418
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,159
Speaker 1: trying to figure out there's any way to fix what

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00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: he'd just broken in me. He keeps switching between asking

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Speaker 1: where I am and telling me he didn't think it

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00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 1: was this big of a deal, and apologizing and asking

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00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: me to come home and talk. And you can talk

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00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 1: with us one of your favorite freaking podcast platform. Just

424
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 1: search up Okay Stories on on Apple, Spotify, our high Radio,

425
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 1: listen along and talk with us. I don't feel ready

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00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: to talk to him just yet. I'm still too upset,

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00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'll do or say something I

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Speaker 1: will regret, like call off the wedding altogether. I just

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Speaker 1: told all my vendors that we aren't canceling the wedding,

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Speaker 1: but right now I kind of want to. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's my hormones making me feel crazy, or

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Speaker 1: if I'm valid and how hurt I am feeling. I

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Speaker 1: just don't know what to do or what to think.

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00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for not giving her

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Speaker 1: a second chance? Or is my fiance right that she

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Speaker 1: deserves a chance to prove herself before she gets uninvited

437
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,120
Speaker 1: from the wedding altogether. If she's gonna sabotage you once,

438
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 1: she's gonna sabotage you again.

439
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what he's expecting that chance to be.

440
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, Oh like we'll just see, Like we'll forgive you

441
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 5: for changing our freaking wedding plans behind our back, Like

442
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 5: so we'll just see what else you do, Like what

443
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 5: is she gonna What is his line gonna be? Like,

444
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,640
Speaker 5: is she gonna have to like start a fire at

445
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 5: the wedding or something like?

446
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,439
Speaker 1: Truly, like what's gonna happen? Yeah, he's not getting it.

447
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 1: He does not see how manippo litive and how toxic

448
00:19:59,240 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: she is.

449
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 7: It really sucks that they're having a baby because like

450
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 7: I think that happened.

451
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 4: That happened like early on in their relationship.

452
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: Right they got engaged and then they were having a baby.

453
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 6: Too.

454
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 7: They got engaged and then got pregnant afterwards, so they

455
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 7: were already dating a while and decided to get engaged

456
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 7: before having a baby. Right, okay, okay, Because I was

457
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 7: kind of worried it was like a shotgun kind of wedding.

458
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 1: We got an update to this wild, wild story. First

459
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 1: of all, I want to say thank you to everyone

460
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: who read my original posts and offered their judgments and advice.

461
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 1: Writing this out really helped me process what I was feeling.

462
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 1: And hearing that I wasn't overreacting or just being hormonal

463
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: from people that are removed from the situation was comforting.

464
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 1: I read every single comment and there is no way

465
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,119
Speaker 1: to express how much all the kind words meant to me.

466
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah, lots of comments. I spent last night

467
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: at Sam's house and mostly ignoredinates, text and calls. Kla

468
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: texted me once, also telling me to not let my

469
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: hormones make me irrational. I just blocked her, but someone

470
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 1: advised me to unblock and just silence her notification so

471
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 1: if she escalates it, I could maybe use it in

472
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: a court case in my custody case. I did unblock

473
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: her earlier today, and I'm glad I did, but we'll

474
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: get there. I replied to Nate at one point last night,

475
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 1: telling him that I was safe and I'm at Sam's

476
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: house and I would be home tomorrow today after work

477
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 1: to talk about everything. I expressed again that I was

478
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,239
Speaker 1: feeling really hurt about not being heard or backed up

479
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: by him, that I needed time to decide what I

480
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: wanted to do. He asked what I meant by that,

481
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: if I meant canceling the wedding altogether. I told him

482
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: that is exactly what I was considering. His reply, don't

483
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 1: let your hormones make you do something irrational. We'll talk tomorrow.

484
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: Anyone else want to take a guess out of ware?

485
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: He got that line that is just about made my

486
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: decision for me. I didn't reply, not even when he

487
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: texted me good night, I love you. Instead, before I

488
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 1: went to bed for the night, I sent him a

489
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: link to my post and told him to read through

490
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 1: it before we talked. Someone said he probably sent it

491
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: to Klo too. If she read it, she has it commented,

492
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: and if she texted me about it, it was while

493
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: I had blocked her. This morning, I called in to

494
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: work and had breakfast with Sam. She gave me the

495
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: number of a family lawyer that her friend used for

496
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 1: his custody case. I spoke to the assistant explain my situation,

497
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: and luckily she had a slot open after lunch for

498
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: my initial consultation. But I took a shower and basically

499
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: just kept reading through the comments on my post until

500
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: it was time to talk to her. I told a

501
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: lawyer exactly why I'm leaving Nate and how I'm terrified

502
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: over how his sister would influence him with our baby.

503
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: I don't trust him not to be influenced by Kayla,

504
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 1: and I have our baby's best interest in mind, so

505
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 1: I want to fight for soul custody and supervise visitation.

506
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 1: I told her, if possible, I want to include something

507
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: that restricts Kayla from having any contact with my child.

508
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: I am already mentally preparing to have to fight Nate

509
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 1: in court because I know he will not agree to

510
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: any of this. My lawyer told me that while my

511
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: concerns are valid, it may be difficult to convince a

512
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 1: judge to put a contact restriction in the custody order

513
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: based on family drama alone. She advised me to document

514
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: everything Kayla has done in anything moving forward, so we

515
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: can present it to a judge if and when we

516
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 1: end up in court. She gave me a list of

517
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: things to think about, like if I want Nate to

518
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: get any kind of custody at all or just visitation,

519
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: how I want to handle things like medical care and

520
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: education for my child, and if I want to put

521
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: communication restrictions like only talking over texts. I have never

522
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: would have thought, and never thought I would have to

523
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 1: think of We're supposed to do all this together. She

524
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: told me to take a few days to gather my

525
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 1: thoughts and decide on what I want to do. I

526
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 1: scheduled an in person meeting for this Friday to go

527
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: over everything. Hopefully I will have my mind straight by then,

528
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: But if anyone has advice when it comes to what

529
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: to put on these custody papers, I'm all ears. After

530
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 1: the phone call with my lawyer, I check some more

531
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: comments and then take a much needed nap. When I

532
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: woke up, I had a text from Nate asking what

533
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: time I would be off work so he could have

534
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: dinner ready for me when I get home. I told

535
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 1: him I will be there around five, but if Kayla

536
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: is there, I'll be turning around and leaving without a word.

537
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: I asked him if he read the post I sent him.

538
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 1: He said I did, but I'd rather talk to you

539
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 1: than read you bash me and my sister on the

540
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: internet with a bunch of strangers. Don't worry, I told Kayla,

541
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 1: She's not welcome. This puts me off beyond belief. Clearly

542
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: neither did he read the post or still doesn't realize

543
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: how truly in the wrong they are here. Either way,

544
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 1: I lost all motivation trying talk to work things out.

545
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm just I texted him, don't worry about dinner. All

546
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 1: I will be doing is gathering some more things and

547
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: dropping off at my lawyer's contact info. There's nothing more

548
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: for us to discuss. Yes, what I'm in, what lawyers

549
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: and what told me is he's been waiting to talk

550
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: about this unless it was fine. Sam wished me luck

551
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: before I left and assured me I was welcome back

552
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 1: once we were done talking. I told her I absolutely

553
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: will be back and thanked her for everything so far.

554
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: Then I stopped and got one of those boba refreshments

555
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: from Starbucks to call my nerves before I went home.

556
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: When I got home, Nay had dinner ready like he

557
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 1: said he would. I ignored him and just went straight

558
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: to our room to pack up some more of my

559
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 1: clothes and Toula trees. He tried asking me if I

560
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: was really going to talk to him, but I just

561
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: ignored him for the time being. Just seeing his face

562
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 1: made my anger flare up, and I wanted to be

563
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: smart about our decision. After a while, he gave up

564
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 1: and just went to eat in the dining room. When

565
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,959
Speaker 1: I was finished, I went and sat with him at

566
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: the table, but didn't touch any of the food. I

567
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: started a voice memo on my phone before I said

568
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: go ahead. He looked at me all confused, so I

569
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: told him he was the one that wanted to talk

570
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: and must have so much to say, so go ahead.

571
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: He stumbled over his words for a while, but ultimately

572
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: started off with an apology, trying to tell me he

573
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: didn't realize I was so upset with Kayla's behavior. I

574
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: asked him, if you remembered how hard I cried after

575
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: I got home from dress shopping because of her comments

576
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 1: about my choices and my body. If he remembered having

577
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: to talk to her about not being my maid of honor,

578
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: If you remembered our conversation just a few days ago,

579
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: where I told him canceling my venue that held so

580
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: much sentiment to me was way too far over the line.

581
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,479
Speaker 1: He said he did each time and tried to add

582
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: a butt to argue. I just cut him off with

583
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: my next example. I told him, after all that he's

584
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: one hundred percent should have known I was beyond with her.

585
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: BS told him I was so her and pissed. I

586
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: wanted to uninvite her, but he wanted to give her

587
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: another chance to what cancel our DJ in a book,

588
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: A live band, die my hack, dread or show up

589
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: in white herself. He told me she would never do that.

590
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: I told him told me she would never cancel my venue,

591
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: but then she admitted with it in front of our faces.

592
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: I told him I don't trust his opinion on a sister,

593
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: and that he is just as delusional as she is

594
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: if he thinks she will change. I asked him why

595
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: he even told her so many details of our wedding anyways,

596
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 1: Why does her opinion for our wedding even matter? He

597
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: tried to tell me that Kayla didn't get to have

598
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: a real wedding when she got married. She was just

599
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: a little too excited about hours. I told him she

600
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 1: has all the right in the world to be excited,

601
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: but that does not give her any rights to insult

602
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: or change our choices regarding what we want for our wedding.

603
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: She'll have plenty of opportunities to have a real wedding

604
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: if she could stop for two seconds and take her

605
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: nose out of our wedding business, she could go out

606
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: and find a man or woman to marry herself, poor soul,

607
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 1: whoever that might be. I asked him, what's next he

608
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: gets to name our baby since she lost her own.

609
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: The look on his face made my stomach phil hollow.

610
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,479
Speaker 1: He told me, and I quote, actually, Hala does have

611
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: a few ideas for what we can name our daughter. Daughter.

612
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: Side note, I'd mentioned in a comment previously that we

613
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: were waiting to be surprised about the gender of our baby.

614
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: We were discussing baby names and had selected on the

615
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,479
Speaker 1: top three for each gender. We agreed to keep them

616
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: to ourselves into the baby is born. I asked if

617
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: he said daughter, and he looked like a deer caught

618
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: in the headlights. He backtracked, but I pressed the issue.

619
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: I asked him flat out if he knows the gender

620
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: of our baby. He hesitated, but ultimately confessed to remembering

621
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 1: that I filled out an information release on my first

622
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: OBI visit, so he caught the office and asked him

623
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: for the results of our gender scan, claiming that we

624
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: changed our mind and he was going to do a

625
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 1: reveal for me. I feel absolutely sick and violated. I

626
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: asked him what the f was he thinking. He said

627
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 1: Kayla was feeling left out since Sam was planning my

628
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: baby shower and not including her, and that she just

629
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: couldn't wait to find out. I demanded he tell me everything.

630
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: What else has he done behind my back? Did he

631
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 1: give her the idea to pretend to be our wedding planner?

632
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: Was he the one that had canceled my venue and

633
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: changed ar catering? He tried to me, No, of course not.

634
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,880
Speaker 1: She did that on her own. I could just tell

635
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: that he was lying. He absolutely put her up to

636
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 1: all this. At that point, I didn't even care why

637
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: he did. It's clear that none of our decisions will

638
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: actually be ours. He will always do whatever the heck

639
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: he wants to and get Kayla to back them up.

640
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 1: I don't even want to think about how many of

641
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: our decisions in the past were completely underminded and changed

642
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: by these two. I asked him, if Kayla came to

643
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: him and told him everything, I'm telling him that she

644
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: doesn't feel supported by her partner, that her partner went

645
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: behind her back to learn the gender of their baby

646
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: without her, that her partner was retroactively changing every decision

647
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: that they agreed upon, that her partner was letting her

648
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: sibling bully her relentlessly. What would he say to her?

649
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: He didn't have her response, and honestly, if he did,

650
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hear it anymore. I knew the answer.

651
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: I told him, as the woman who was supposed to

652
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: be his wife, me and the baby I'm carrying should

653
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: be his top priority, not his twin sister. I said

654
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: to him, going behind my back like that is for

655
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: something as important as the gender of our baby is

656
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 1: absolutely unforgivable. There is nothing he can do or say

657
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: to fix this now. I told him I will no

658
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: longer be marrying him, and it's up to him if

659
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: he wants to cancel all the vendors. I said, you're

660
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: more than welcome to use it all to marry Kayla,

661
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: seeing that you're the only one that absolutely cares about

662
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: the most. Yes, that's what I was saying. Just get

663
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: it over with already. He tried to backtrack and apologize

664
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 1: and explained, but every time I just cut him off

665
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: and told him that I had heard enough and my

666
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: mind was made up. There is no going back now.

667
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: If he wants to have the slimiest chance to get

668
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: back with me and have a real relationship with our baby,

669
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: he will need to attend some serious therapy and do

670
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: a lot of work on himself and his relationship with Kayla.

671
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: No woman in a right mind would ever marry him

672
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: while he was this enmeshed with her. I told him

673
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: any contact we will be having moving forward will be

674
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: through my lawyer. I want nothing to do with his family.

675
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: If I get what I want, they will have nothing

676
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: to do with my daughter because I'll be danged if

677
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: I let him subject her to this treatment. I will

678
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: put my lawyer's name and phone number on the table

679
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: and walked out. He didn't even try to follow me.

680
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: So now, on top of dealing with my lawyer for

681
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: the custody case, I have to file a complaint with

682
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: my OBI office. Are they allowed to give him this

683
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: information without my express consent or did me stupidly putting

684
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: him on the information release form I signed give him

685
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: a blanket consent to share any and all my information

686
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: with him. Goodness. I didn't even think this should get

687
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: any worse, but I guess that's on me for being naive.

688
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: I'm glad I recorded the conversation, though, and got him

689
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: admitting to doing all of this. I don't know how

690
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: or if it will help my custody case, but I

691
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: send it to my lawyer with a note that we

692
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: can discuss more on Friday. I'm back at Sam's place now.

693
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: She was already at work when I got back, but

694
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: I texted her, will wake me up when she gets home.

695
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: I need my sister. I also call my mom and

696
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: told her everything that happened so far. She cried with

697
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: me for a while and then asked me if I

698
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: need her to do anything. I asked her if she's

699
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: willing to go to the house with Sam and get

700
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: the rest of myself, because I do not want to

701
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: see Nate right now. Just picturing his face is making

702
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: me feel sick. She said, he is more than willing.

703
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: Kayla detext me again. I'm assuming Nate talked to her

704
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: after I left it was a very long, cruel message

705
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: that I don't want to repeat here. I can post

706
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: a screenshot if anyone cares for the whole message, if

707
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: I can figure out how to attach one. But to summarize,

708
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: she called me a delusional control freak who can't let

709
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: Nate make any decisions for himself and is sold to

710
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: my venue choice once again.

711
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 8: So the person who wants to plan their own wedding

712
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 8: is to control a freak. But the person who decides

713
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 8: that someone else's wedding venue is not good enough and

714
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 8: goes in and completely changes the AKA controls it is

715
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 8: not a control freak.

716
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: Honestly, after I read that, I thought the message would hurt,

717
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: but it gave me a really good laugh. I took

718
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: a screenshot and said it to my lawyer as well.

719
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: And that's where we're at. The wedding is off. I

720
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: will call the vendors tomorrow and see if I can

721
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: get anything to Pauses back. If not, I'll let them

722
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: know how to contact Nate and Kayla see if they

723
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: would like to keep things as planned, let them throw

724
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: a party for all I care. But I will be

725
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: canceling my venue regardless of my refund. Neither of them

726
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: are going to step foot in that sacred place if

727
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: I can help it. I didn't realize how much I

728
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: was letting this weight way on me until now I

729
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders,

730
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: even though a new one is settling very quickly. Writing

731
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: everything out like this is truly so freaking helpful for

732
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: me to process how I'm feeling and what I need

733
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: to do. I don't know if I will keep doing

734
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: formal updates, but for anyone who's interested, maybe I'll just

735
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: treat this profile like a little journal as it's all unfolds.

736
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: Thank you again to everyone and your advice and for

737
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: showing me I'm not crazy. You're not crazy at all.

738
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what in the hell did I just read?

739
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: Hey's John og host.

740
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

741
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 2: three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

742
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: I told my daughter that her grandparents are stupid in

743
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 3: front of them.

744
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: That's a joke, right, trigger.

745
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 3: Warning bullying, So if you don't like that, get to

746
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,719
Speaker 3: the next story. My wife and I have three kids.

747
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 3: Our youngest, Emily, turned six last Sunday. We recently had

748
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 3: to deal with an issue in Emily's school. By the way,

749
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 3: this comes from user odd resolution fifty three fifty seven,

750
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

751
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime supread it So. Last

752
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 3: year a new student joined her class and started bullying her.

753
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 3: He'd make fun of her, call her names, and stealerr

754
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 3: stuff to hide it around the school. On two occasions,

755
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: the bullying got physical. It took us a while to

756
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 3: sort everything out because the boy's parents were a nightmare

757
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 3: and nothing the school did worked. Finally, they threatened to

758
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 3: expel him if he didn't leave our daughter alone, and

759
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 3: his family got him to stop. Good. She hasn't bothered

760
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 3: Emily in months, and she is doing much better all right.

761
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 3: Because of how much of an ordealed this ended up being.

762
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,720
Speaker 3: Many of our friends and family members know what happened,

763
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 3: most refrustrated as we were, but my wife's stepmother, Patty,

764
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 3: thought the whole thing was cute. Even after we told

765
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 3: her everything the boy did, she still insisted he probably

766
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 3: just liked Emily and didn't know how to show it.

767
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 3: For whatever reason, she's fixated on this Every time the

768
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 3: subject comes up, Patty says she still thinks we're being dramatic,

769
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 3: and the boy deserves another chance.

770
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: Another chance.

771
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 3: He got all the chances before, he almost got this

772
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 3: closely being expelled. My father in law fluctuates between being

773
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: angry at the school and agreeing the boy was probably harmless.

774
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 3: They never spoke about this near the kids, and my

775
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 3: wife and I don't give a crap what they think anyway,

776
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 3: so we never worried much about this. We're throwing Emily

777
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 3: at birthday party this Saturday because my father in law

778
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 3: will be busy. We all had dinner together at a

779
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 3: place Emily likes the day before her birthday. Near the

780
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: end of the dinner, she started talking about the party,

781
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 3: how excited she was, and which of her friends were coming.

782
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 3: My father in law asked Emily if the bully was invited,

783
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: and before anyone replied, he obviously isn't, Patty added that

784
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 3: it would be mean if she didn't invite him because

785
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 3: he liked her and would be very, very sad. Emily

786
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 3: looked at me and my wife. I told her, don't worry, honey,

787
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 3: Grandpa and Patty are both very stupid. Don't listen to them.

788
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 3: They looked shocked, but didn't try to argue. We had

789
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 3: an awkward goodbye and went our separate ways. My father

790
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 3: in law called us on Monday. He apologized for what

791
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 3: he and Patty said, but told us he expected me

792
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 3: to apologize as well. He said that I crossed the

793
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: line by insulting him and his wife in front of

794
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 3: his grandchildren. My wife and I have been on the

795
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 3: same patriarch all of this, but yesterday she told me

796
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: she was starting to wonder whether it wouldn't have been

797
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: better to deal with this privately, especially since we don't

798
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 3: like insulting people in front of the kids. Am I

799
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 3: the a hole? We have an edit. I brought this

800
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 3: up in the comments, but I want to offer more

801
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 3: context into what the bully did. It was mostly verbal.

802
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 3: He created a few nicknames that kind of not really

803
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 3: sounded like Emily's real name and our last name. She

804
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: once Scott Brown pain on her clothes during our class,

805
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:33,479
Speaker 3: and he started calling her pig gross. He laughed whenever

806
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 3: she spoke in class. The teacher would always shut him down,

807
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 3: but Emily is already a shy kid, and that did

808
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 3: not help. They have weekly toy days at school, and

809
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: Emily stopped bringing her toys because the boy kept stealing

810
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 3: them or threatening to break them. He'd also take her

811
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: stuff like her backpack, school materials, and personal items and

812
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 3: hide them. We managed to get all those things back,

813
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 3: and the closest he got to damaging something she owned

814
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 3: was a small rip in one for stuffed animals that

815
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 3: my wife was able to fix. And as I mentioned,

816
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 3: the bullying got physical twice. On the first occasion, he

817
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: pushed her off a swing set. She scraped her knee

818
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 3: but wasn't hurt otherwise. The school reprimanded him, but it

819
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 3: didn't do much. A few weeks after that, he put

820
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 3: gum in her hair during lunch.

821
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 1: Yikes.

822
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 3: A teacher witnessed and said that he grabbed her head

823
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 3: violently to do so. That got him suspended and the

824
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 3: school threatened to expel him not long after. I don't

825
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 3: think there's much I can say about this boy except

826
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 3: that he has a very obvious behavioral issue that his

827
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 3: parents refused to manage properly. And we have some comments.

828
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 3: Come a number one not the a hole. You have

829
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 3: told Patty to knock it off. And then she went

830
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: and tried to ruin your kid's birthday party by asking

831
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 3: to invite that nightmare of a child to attend she

832
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 3: needs to get over her fixation before she pushes your

833
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 3: family away from your dad and her. Op I'm really

834
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 3: glad we didn't do this dinner on her actual birthday.

835
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 3: Emily was upset, but she was doing better the next day,

836
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 3: and we have a reply. Tell them you aren't going

837
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 3: to let them teach your daughter that boy's hurting her

838
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:15,479
Speaker 3: is a sign of affection. Come at number two. There's

839
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 3: probably no other way to make your mother in law

840
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 3: shut up, so not the a hole. What I find

841
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 3: disturbing is that your mother in law prioritizes a bully

842
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: over her own grandchild. Since when is bullying a sign

843
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 3: of affection? If it walks like a duck talks like

844
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 3: a duck, chances are it is a duck seen in

845
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 3: a wider contexts. Your mother in law enables and makes

846
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 3: excuses for the kind of toxic behavior that men display

847
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 3: towards women on a daily basis. Instead of protecting her grandchild,

848
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 3: she exposes her to a bully that's seriously insane. Opie states.

849
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 3: Back when we were having to deal with the boy's parents,

850
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: one of the excuses they use referring to the name

851
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 3: was that all boys behave like that around girls. I

852
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 3: think about that a lot, both because I know it's

853
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 3: not true. Neither my sons are like that, nor did

854
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 3: I act like that when I was a child, and

855
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 3: because of how disheartening it is that people could enable that.

856
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: And we have an update. Let's just go right into.

857
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: It, all right, to get out of the way.

858
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 3: Emily's birthday party went off without a hitch. Great happy

859
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 3: birthday to Emily, and she had a great time with

860
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: her friends. It's always bittersweet watching our little girl grow

861
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 3: up so fast, but me and my wife enjoyed ourselves

862
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 3: as well. We talked more about what happened over the

863
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 3: last few days. My wife made it very clear that

864
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 3: she didn't care that I called her father and Patty

865
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 3: stupid and didn't think I should apologize, but was concerned

866
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 3: about our kids thinking I was a hypocrite. We always

867
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 3: aim to teach them to be kind and avoid insulting others,

868
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 3: and it doesn't feel fair to hold them to standards

869
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: we don't hold ourselves to. So Friday night, we set

870
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 3: the kids down and discussed what I'd said.

871
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: Hmmm.

872
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 3: We explained that I was upset at what my in

873
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 3: laws had done and I was trying to protect Emily,

874
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 3: but that what I said was still not nice and

875
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: they shouldn't repeat it. I apologize for the language I used.

876
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: I like that. I like that parents apologizing for kids

877
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: is like maturity of a maturity.

878
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, besides that, my wife and I also talked about

879
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 3: how we'd deal with her father and Patty. I told

880
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 3: her I wanted them to apologize to Emily, and I

881
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: wouldn't say a word to them until they did. She

882
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 3: agreed with me. After the party, she texted her father

883
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 3: the following. This is a translation. The party went well

884
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 3: about what happened at Emily's birthday dinner. Opie will not apologize.

885
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 3: Patty has no right to tell our daughter how she

886
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 3: should feel about the boy who made her life heck

887
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: for months, and neither do you. I'll call you tomorrow

888
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 3: and you'll apologize to your granddaughter. If your wife wants

889
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 3: to continue being a part of the children's lives, she

890
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 3: will too. And if she mentions that boy again, I'll

891
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 3: have to seriously rethink the rule we're letting her have here.

892
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 3: This isn't up for discussion. All right, that was pretty good. Okay,

893
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 3: shout out to mom.

894
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,720
Speaker 1: Straight forward Mama bear mode.

895
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 3: She showed me the text before sending it, but I

896
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 3: agreed with pretty much everything. They had a short fight

897
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 3: about it, but he agreed in the end. I offered

898
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,959
Speaker 3: to apologize to keep the peace, and my wife told

899
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 3: me not to. Both my father in law and Patty

900
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 3: finally apologized to Emily on Sunday.

901
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: Whoo.

902
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 3: We're not confident about Patty, but my father in law

903
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 3: seems sincere either way. We've decided to loosen our ties

904
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,959
Speaker 3: with my wife's stepmother for a while. We're still working

905
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 3: everything out, but we'll see her less until at least

906
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: my eldest son's birthday in October. I have no doubts

907
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 3: my father in law loves my children, but he's a

908
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 3: very strange guy. He was over protective of his daughters

909
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 3: their whole utes, but frequently tells us were dramatic when

910
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 3: it comes to our kids. And I never had any

911
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 3: strong feelings about Patty, but her treatment of Emily situation

912
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:14,399
Speaker 3: has soured my image of her. On a side note,

913
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,720
Speaker 3: the bully found out about the party. His mother found

914
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: my wife on Instagram and messaged her to complain that

915
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 3: he wasn't invited.

916
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: Boo hoo, that sucks. Boo hoo.

917
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 3: Sucks. My wife reminded her of the day the school

918
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 3: threatened to punt her son out. No reply as of today.

919
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 3: I didn't know what to expect when I posted here,

920
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 3: but I was glad to see that even those who

921
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 3: thought I was in the wrong agreed that Emily and

922
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,399
Speaker 3: her well being came first. At the end of the day,

923
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 3: That's all I really care about. This will be my

924
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 3: only update. Thanks everyone, and that's the end of that story.

925
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 1: All right, Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to

926
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

927
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: I refuse to adjust my dinner plans for my nephew.

928
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: My brother got mad? Stay mad? Part one? Am I

929
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 1: the a hole for uninviting my brother and nephew from

930
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: my celebration dinner? Backstory, My sister and I early thirties,

931
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: have an older brother. He's in his second marriage. His

932
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 1: first marriage gave me my nephew, Connor fifteen donor is autistic.

933
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: When he was born. At the time, my sister in

934
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:24,760
Speaker 1: law's family was the village. My parents were also the village.

935
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: My sister and I were not. This resulted in many

936
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 1: arguments until I told my parents they could either have

937
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,839
Speaker 1: my brother and his family or I would go no contact,

938
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 1: or they could respect my boundaries and I'd still be around.

939
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 1: They agreed. By the way, this comes from New Way

940
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: eighty eight and if you want to spit your own stories,

941
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 1: go to our sis shaw Okay, stories I'm sub about.

942
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 1: So eventually, my brother got a divorce because of the

943
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,759
Speaker 1: marital problems, one of which was his ex wife insisting

944
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 1: that I and my sister step up and help for

945
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 1: the nephew. Nephew Okay, I felt bad for him, still do,

946
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 1: but I was a going to change my stance. My

947
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: sister didn't either. I have lived out of state for

948
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: a bit and recently accepted a new job offer close

949
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 1: to home. It came with a nice bonus, so I

950
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: decided to invite my parents', sister and brother out for

951
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: dinner and my favorite KBBB spot Korean barbecue spot. If

952
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: you ever tried it, you have to. My parents confirmed

953
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: that it wasn't my brother's week with my nephew, so

954
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: all was well and good. About a week before I

955
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: got back home, my brother called me and said that

956
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: his ex had something come up and that he had

957
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: connor for the week coming up and his current wife

958
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: was going to be out of town with her sisters.

959
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: I said, no worries and ask if he wants to

960
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 1: call his regular babysitter for Connor and I'd cover it

961
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: out for dinner. He said no, he wanted to bring

962
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 1: Connor to the dinner and ask if we could change

963
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: the venue because Connor gets over stimulated. I said no,

964
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: this was my dinner. I'm paying for it. I'm going

965
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: to my favorite place. He said, you know your nephew,

966
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: really I can't handle a place like that. I said, yes,

967
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 1: I know. That's why I'm offering to pay for a

968
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: babysitter for that night. He argued that he'll just bring

969
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: Connor with him. I said he's welcome to do that,

970
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 1: but then I'm not going, so it'll just be him

971
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: and our parents. So he told me that was messed up,

972
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: that if Connor gets overstimulated, he'll just take him and

973
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: go outside until he calms down. I reminded him the

974
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: last time I went to a Korean barbecue place, Connor

975
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: had a mail down and they had to leave. My

976
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 1: parents always feel bad for Connor, so they usually leave

977
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: and go to my brother's house to help. I said,

978
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: I didn't want that happening. I wanted to have a

979
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: nice dinner without having to worry about that. He told

980
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,359
Speaker 1: me to go f myself and hang up. We went

981
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 1: to dinner, my sister, my parents, and I. My brother

982
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: did not show up. It was a nice dinner. My

983
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: parents enjoyed it too, but they said they wish my

984
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 1: brother could have come. I agreed. Then they said they

985
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: wish my nephew had come too. I did not agree.

986
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 1: I said it would have likely resulted in my brother

987
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: leaving after maybe thirty to forty minutes of being there,

988
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: and they would have followed him too. They agreed, but

989
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 1: said I should have let him come anyway and just

990
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 1: deal with it. I said that sounds like a good

991
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 1: reason for me not to do that. And we didn't

992
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: talk much that night after that, So I am I

993
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: the a hole. We have an edit here. Somebody just

994
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 1: said I posted it here. I babysat Connor before even now.

995
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 1: I will watch him for a few hours if my

996
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: brother has to go do something. I don't watch him

997
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: all day or overnight. Though it's not his fall and

998
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: he is still no way a bad kid. However, I've

999
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: had to set boundaries with my parents and brother, mostly

1000
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: his ex wife would take a mile if you gave

1001
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 1: them an inch, they wouldn't. My sister and I to

1002
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: stay local after high school so we could help with babysitting,

1003
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: and I was not about to do that. I did

1004
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: see both of them before I left, since I wanted to.

1005
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: I did not apologize for wanting to eat my favorite

1006
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: spot and have done it my way for just one night.

1007
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,800
Speaker 1: Whenever he my brother wants to have dinner, we basically

1008
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 1: go to the same local spot because it's quiet and

1009
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: doesn't upset my nephew and it's his fixation when it

1010
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:06,320
Speaker 1: comes to food. That's perfectly fine. I go to those dinners,

1011
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: but for my dinner, I wanted somewhere that I enjoyed.

1012
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 1: And we have an update of part one. First, I

1013
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: want to say thank you to everyone for positive and

1014
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: negative feedback, whether it was good or bad. I read

1015
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 1: every single one of them, even the ones that called

1016
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: me the A hole totally valid. Well. It did see

1017
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: my brother and Connor before I left. It was more

1018
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: of just playing with Connor and making small talk with

1019
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: him and my brother. I decided today to call my

1020
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: brother to try and get more information. Smooth things out.

1021
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: We talked for about five minutes before I approached the subject.

1022
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: I told him I was sorry if it felt like

1023
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: I was being unnecessarily mean or exclusive to Connor, but

1024
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 1: I felt like I had the right to decide where

1025
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: to celebrate the way I wanted to. He said he

1026
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: was sorry too that he snapped back the way he did,

1027
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: and looking back, he realized Connor would have had an

1028
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: awful time and it would have been a big waste

1029
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: of money for me. The place we went to was

1030
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: about eighty a person forty four. Connor, whether he ate

1031
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 1: or not, he just really wanted him to be there too.

1032
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: I told him, going forward, for things like my birthday,

1033
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: I would be more than happy to have lunch as

1034
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: a family with Connor at somewhere he likes, so we

1035
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: can have a good time and then go to dinner

1036
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: at somewhere I'd like to eat, and I'd pay for

1037
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: the babysitter or his mom my brother's ex can watch him.

1038
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: He asked Connor if you would be welcomed at the

1039
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: dinner too, and I said I don't think so, because

1040
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: I still plan to have Koreem barbecue, hot pot, sushi fine.

1041
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: Donnie Connor doesn't do so well in those environments light, sound, smells, atmosphere,

1042
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,399
Speaker 1: which is why I brought up having lunch the day

1043
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: before so we can all celebrate it and be.

1044
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: Okay, see this is better, this is good, this is

1045
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: all right. We have a plan, a good plan.

1046
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: But I was still standing firm that for my birthday

1047
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 1: or something like a promotion, I wanted to go somewhere

1048
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 1: that I enjoyed and not having to worry about what

1049
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: Connor wanted to do. I brought up also that when

1050
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 1: he took us out to life lunch was once a

1051
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 1: month before I moved. He picked or my parents picked,

1052
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: and they always catered to Connor. I had no problems

1053
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: with that and attended almost all of them. This time

1054
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: I wanted something for myself. He wasn't over the moon

1055
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: about it, but it sounded like a good thing and

1056
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: thinks Connor would enjoy it too. He also looked into

1057
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: getting him some sunglasses, as one of you suggested, for

1058
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: bright slash overly stimulating environments. He then had a question

1059
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: for me, which I knew was going to be asked

1060
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: at some point now that I'm closer to home. He

1061
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 1: asked if I was going to be more involved as

1062
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: an uncle.

1063
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 3: Ee, there, we are, right.

1064
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 1: You gonna have babysit Connor, I said, yes, but not

1065
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 1: in the way he probably wants. I said, I'd be

1066
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: more than happy to go over to his house and

1067
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: hang out with him, his wife and Connor and bring

1068
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: foodie likes, as well as babysitting once or twice a

1069
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 1: month so he and his wife could go see a

1070
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 1: movie or have a dinner night together. But I wasn't

1071
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: going to be an on call babysitter like my parents are.

1072
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 1: Several times he's dropped Connor off at their house for

1073
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: a week slash weekend with little to no notice because

1074
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: he and his wife wanted to go on a spontaneous vacation.

1075
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 3: Yep, that doesn't work. That's not fair. Same thing with

1076
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 3: like Connor. Same thing with a capette anything when you

1077
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,919
Speaker 3: when you drop that on somebody, that's not nice.

1078
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. I told him that was not gonna happen with me,

1079
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: especially since I'm in the process of adopting a cat

1080
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: and he and Connor are allergic. I wasn't allowed to

1081
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 1: have a cat while I lived in my parents' house,

1082
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 1: which was fine because it was their house and it

1083
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 1: wasn't fair to my brother and Connor, who were over

1084
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 1: there super often, so getting him dropped at my place

1085
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 1: was out of a question. He thankfully didn't press the

1086
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:49,240
Speaker 1: topic and said it's okay, Mom and dad don't mind,

1087
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 1: and that he missed hanging out with me and was

1088
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 1: happy that I could be around Connor. More So, everything

1089
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: worked out well as I could have hoped. I'm excited

1090
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: to move back home in a few weeks, and thank

1091
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 1: you all for the advice and criticism. Counts one. I'm

1092
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 1: glad things worked out well. I hope they have always

1093
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,839
Speaker 1: been working with specialists for Connor so that he has change.

1094
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 1: I hope that they have always been working with specialists

1095
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 1: for Connor so that when he has change, to be

1096
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 1: self sufficient as possible. I get a tiny bit of

1097
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: a vibe that his mother and father may because he

1098
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 1: just went along with his ex wife baby Connor and

1099
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 1: never tried to get him help to adjust better to

1100
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: the real world. If Connor is incapable of eating at

1101
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: a normal restaurant, how is he going to get a

1102
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: job to support himself? If you can't do that, is

1103
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,919
Speaker 1: it your brother making plans for a permit adult group

1104
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 1: home for Connor? One day your brother is going to

1105
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: pass away, and it is best if he makes plans

1106
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: way before that happens and transitions Connor as much as

1107
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 1: possible while alive so he can adjust. Hope he says

1108
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 1: that is the case. Yes, his specialists have said they

1109
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: don't believe he'll ever be able to be independent, as

1110
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 1: he's effectively non verbal and still very prone to melt

1111
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 1: down meltdowns despite the best efforts from my brother. And

1112
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: we have a part two. Am I they able for

1113
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: not babysitting my nephew for ten days?

1114
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: Okay?

1115
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 6: Oh?

1116
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: No, okay? Which is okay before we get into that.

1117
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 3: I feel like we had a very good resolution. Opie

1118
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 3: set their boundaries and had a very clear conversation with

1119
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 3: the brother, and like it shows that Opie still cares

1120
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 3: for Connor and is there for Connor. But again, you're

1121
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 3: not con Connor's babysitter, You're not Connor's you know, caretaker.

1122
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 3: So I get it. I'm scared for this next.

1123
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 1: I knew this was going to happen. Yeah, I was like,

1124
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 1: we have so much more to go. I don't think

1125
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: it's gonna be rainbows from that.

1126
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was like, oh no, this is great and

1127
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 3: You're like, we're not even halfway through this. I was like,

1128
00:52:57,200 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 3: oh no, it was the it was the freakin' the

1129
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 3: mile thing, like again the inch for a mile.

1130
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,919
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh yeah.

1131
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 3: Well let's uh, I might see him.

1132
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: Being like all babies and two nines out of the month.

1133
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, yeah, no, I'll come over and

1134
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 3: bring his favorite food. That's like you're doing. You're already

1135
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 3: going above and beyond, then you should the fact that

1136
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 3: you like, I'll sacrifice two of my two nights out

1137
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 3: of my month to spend the like, give you guys

1138
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 3: the time you want to go out to dinner.

1139
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:26,320
Speaker 1: Impressed?

1140
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 3: That's very nice? Yeah, or like at least like, hey,

1141
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 3: if you need my help, ask me it advance and

1142
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 3: I can give you a clear yes or no answer.

1143
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 1: Hi me again. I was hoping I wouldn't have to

1144
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: post here again, but well, I've had other plants. I

1145
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: thirty one Mail moved back to la from Texas for

1146
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: a new job. My parents live here, as does my

1147
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: brother forty Mail, his wife, and my nephew, Connor. Connor

1148
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 1: is autistic, and while he has made a lot of

1149
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: progress since he was ten, still struggles with a lot

1150
00:53:55,560 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: of things. He's non verbal, stems often and frequently has melt.

1151
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: My brother, his wife, his ex wife, and my parents

1152
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 1: are the only ones really able to calm him down.

1153
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 1: I regularly watch him once or twice a month so

1154
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 1: my brother and his wife can go see a movie

1155
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 1: or hang out. I do not watch him overnight or

1156
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: for several days consecutively, and it's always at their house. Yep.

1157
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,319
Speaker 1: After an argument last time, my brother and I have

1158
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: been on pretty good terms. He has really pushed boundaries

1159
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: about babysitting, and we've minded our relationship quite well. However,

1160
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 1: something came up recently that has us on rocky terms.

1161
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: My brother recently got news that he was selected to

1162
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 1: attend a conference out of the country. The company is

1163
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 1: putting him up in a hotel for ten days, and

1164
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: while they won't pay for his wife to go, they

1165
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 1: have no problems if he pays for her airfare and

1166
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: everything and occupies the room with him. I'm very happy

1167
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 1: my brother got this opportunity. The issue is childcare. The

1168
00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: conference happens to align with my parent and sister are

1169
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: going to New York City for a week to celebrate

1170
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 1: my sister's birthday. Nothing is refundable and My parents promised

1171
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 1: my sister this over a year ago, that they do this.

1172
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: His ex wife, Connor's biological mother, will also be out

1173
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 1: of town for work, so this leaves me. When he

1174
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:22,760
Speaker 1: called me to explain everything and ask I told him no. However,

1175
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 1: I listed reasons for why I wouldn't be able to

1176
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: do it. One, I live ninety minutes away distance wise,

1177
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,799
Speaker 1: that's not fair. LA traffic makes a lot of things

1178
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,800
Speaker 1: more difficult than they should be. I don't mind making

1179
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: the drive once or twice a month when I'm able

1180
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: to watch him, but I do not want to make

1181
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,359
Speaker 1: it a ten days in a row. Connor cannot come

1182
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: to my place. I have a cat he's allergic, as

1183
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 1: well as me having things around the house that are fragile.

1184
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 1: I do not work from home, and Connor would still

1185
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 1: be in school, so I would likely have to put

1186
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 1: in paid time off to do it logistically, So this

1187
00:55:57,719 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: just doesn't work with his schedule either.

1188
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 3: No, that's totally fair. Yeah, I mean it's one of

1189
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 3: those things again where you're like, everyone's busy. I mean,

1190
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 3: what are you gonna do? I mean, this is this

1191
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 3: was gonna come sooner or later, and guess what you

1192
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,280
Speaker 3: are not the saving grace here. You are here to help,

1193
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: but you are not the babysitter.

1194
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:21,280
Speaker 1: Two. The longest I've watched Connor was about six hours.

1195
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 1: He had a melt down near the end of it.

1196
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 1: I was even able to calm him down from and

1197
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: it was only my brother and his wife getting back

1198
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:31,240
Speaker 1: twenty minutes later that saved me. I cannot picture myself

1199
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 1: doing that for ten days straight. Three. This one might

1200
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,239
Speaker 1: sound really selfish, but I don't want to be set

1201
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: at president if I watch him overnight, even once I

1202
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 1: know my brother and his wife would push it on me. Again,

1203
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be doing that kind of thing.

1204
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: I'm happy with our arrangement of me watching him once

1205
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: or twice a month and hanging out with him. That

1206
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: being said, I do not hesitate to watch him during

1207
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 1: an emergency, but that is a totally different story. I

1208
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: explain all this to him. He wasn't happy it went

1209
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,839
Speaker 1: off on me about how he thought me being back

1210
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 1: would mean he could rely on me for this. I've

1211
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 1: said before I am not an on call babysitter, and

1212
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: his wife would really like to go on the strip.

1213
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: Said I'm sorry, but I'm not doing this, and I said,

1214
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 1: I would be happy to go and help her on

1215
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: the weekend he's not here and hang out with Connor

1216
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: to give her a break, But I'm not going to

1217
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 1: risk my own mental health for ten days and use

1218
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 1: eight of my paid time off to watch for him

1219
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 1: for a non emergency. He had a few choice words

1220
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 1: for me and hung up. He got my parents involved

1221
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: in the group chat, and they surprisingly run my side.

1222
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: They said it would be really nice gesture if I

1223
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: did it, but reminded him that I've never watched Connor overnight,

1224
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 1: and his wife doesn't have to go on the strip,

1225
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 1: and the parents are probably looking out for Connor too.

1226
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, this is like, hey, what's the best for Connor,

1227
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 3: because yes, all of us, we've never had this situation

1228
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 3: of we watched Connor for a little bit, maybe overnight,

1229
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 3: that's about it, maybe like a day at most, and

1230
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 3: then guess what, you or your wife comes home and

1231
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 3: takes care of him and that calms him down. This

1232
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 3: should have been figured out, again from the comments from

1233
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 3: the last update. They should have been figured out way

1234
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 3: in advance to find someone or some people to help

1235
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 3: Connor out when this does happen. I hate to say it,

1236
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 3: but like that sucks, Like one of you has to

1237
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 3: say it behind and guess what, It's not going to

1238
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 3: be you because you have a work trip. It's going

1239
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 3: to be it has to be your wife.

1240
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,919
Speaker 1: He hasn't really talked to me since. I feel bad

1241
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 1: for his wife not being able to go, But I

1242
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 1: don't trust myself being able to handle Connor for ten days?

1243
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 1: Am I the a whole? Comment? Number one? Not the

1244
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: a whole? Either the kid goes with them or the

1245
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 1: wife stays home. Obee, taking him isn't an option. His

1246
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 1: birol mom will not allow him out of the country

1247
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: per custody rules, and last time he went on a

1248
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 1: forty five minute plane ride to SF, my brother described

1249
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: it as a law longest forty five minutes of his life.

1250
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine what ten plus hours on a plane

1251
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 1: ride would look like.

1252
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 3: Okay, again, that's the longest forty five minutes of your life.

1253
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 3: You want to make OPI have the longest ten days

1254
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 3: ten days of his life.

1255
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:15,920
Speaker 1: He's just trying to dump Connor on something.

1256
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 3: That's not Yeah. Yeah, the fact that you said that,

1257
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 3: it's like, hey, whoa buddy? Do you hear yourself?

1258
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 1: So come on, man, reply well, the two parents need

1259
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: to get it together and figure out a childcare plan

1260
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: for their son. Comment to not the ahole at all.

1261
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,919
Speaker 1: So LA has some of the best resources for both

1262
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 1: kids and adult ty Connor, your brother should be in

1263
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 1: touch with this local regional center. I know many parents

1264
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 1: who are hesitant to use it, but one of the

1265
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: services he should be able to access is respike care

1266
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: with well trained caregivers. Ten days is probably way too

1267
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 1: much to start with, but it would be a good

1268
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 1: idea to look into those options. You might not be

1269
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: the right person to talk to your brother about it,

1270
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: but your parents should. It's important for Connor's future to

1271
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: be able to function with other people, and his parents

1272
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 1: need to start that process as soon as possible. Opie says.

1273
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 1: Both my parents and I have encouraged him to seek

1274
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 1: out stuff like that. Unfortunately, while my brother's wife and

1275
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 1: his bio mom are okay with him being at school

1276
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 1: and having a therapist slash aids over to help, they

1277
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,919
Speaker 1: are not comfortable with letting anybody else look over him

1278
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: overnight and for that long. And we got an update

1279
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 1: to the second part.

1280
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 3: Just that comment they're not comfortable with watch then that's

1281
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 3: on you, guys. Then you stay here and you can't

1282
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 3: go on your trip. Nobody hears the A.

1283
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: Hole should dump this on family every time.

1284
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 3: No, you got to stop relying on people and start

1285
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 3: relying you start relying on yourselves. Yeah, okay, you guys

1286
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 3: are being you guys are failing for not just yourselves,

1287
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 3: but for Connor as well, because you're now you're just

1288
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 3: saying Connor is a detriment.

1289
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which is not fair. First, I want to

1290
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 1: thank everyone who provided the device. I really appreciated it.

1291
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 1: I messaged my brother. I said he has two options.

1292
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: Either he and or his wife stay home and watch Connor,

1293
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: or he works with the local agency slash care facilities.

1294
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: I apologize of not using the right terms to get

1295
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 1: respite care for him. As long as they are gone

1296
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: and I check on him during the weekend, I would

1297
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 1: not be able to watch him and I will not

1298
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 1: hear him out. In regards to that, he called me,

1299
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: and his wife caught on the line and said, I

1300
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 1: know how she feels about other people watching him overnight,

1301
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: and how his mom feels too, and she's never been

1302
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: to this location before and it's on their bucket list.

1303
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 1: I said, I am aware, and that I'm assuming in

1304
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:32,440
Speaker 1: that case, she'd be staying home with Connor, and maybe

1305
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: she and my brother can take Connor there in the future.

1306
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 1: My brother tried to interject, but I cut him off.

1307
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 1: I said, I really don't care what he has to argue.

1308
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 1: I'm not here for it. As some of you suggested,

1309
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: I again pointed them towards local organizations and government entities

1310
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 1: dedicated to helping parents with children with special needs, but

1311
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: it really didn't get anywhere. I was really burnt out

1312
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: over everything, so I said good luck with the situation

1313
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: and hung up. I made a group chat with him

1314
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 1: and his wife and told him that going forward, I'll

1315
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 1: be visiting them once or twice a month, meaning one

1316
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 1: of them has to be there when I'm there. I'm

1317
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: not watching Connor alone anymore. I feel like this is

1318
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 1: a good compromise, letting me still hang out with Connor

1319
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: and also not being a caretaker. I told him that

1320
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 1: maybe in the future we can work backwards what we

1321
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 1: had before, but not anytime soon. They both throw back

1322
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: paragraphs on how they were sorry but they had no

1323
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: other choice and thought maybe I'd do it for them,

1324
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 1: that this could be like a second honeymoon for them

1325
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 1: and to please keep watching it for a day or

1326
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 1: two a month, that they even pay me for it.

1327
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 1: I told them, no amount of payment is worth it.

1328
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 1: It's not fair to me, it's not fair to Connor.

1329
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 1: He said he is not my son, he is theirs,

1330
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 1: and that they need to start working with agencies now

1331
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 1: to get him accustomed to care and other people watching him,

1332
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 1: because our parents are getting old and soon they won't

1333
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 1: be an option. My brother responded that he and his

1334
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 1: wife will start the process and get to his ax

1335
01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 1: involved too, But if that doesn't work, what are they

1336
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: going to do? Then? I told them that it's on them.

1337
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 1: I'll happily join them in researching organizations and benefits. But

1338
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 1: if they have an inkling in their head that I'm

1339
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,959
Speaker 1: going to do it for them or what my parents did,

1340
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 1: they are out of their minds. His wife asked if

1341
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 1: I would consider getting training and learning on how to

1342
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 1: care for Connor like they do, and I shot that down.

1343
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 1: I am more than happy to be the fun uncle

1344
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 1: that drops by and hangs out, but I value my

1345
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 1: independence and I won't let that be a compromise. I

1346
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: don't know about that. I think it would be good

1347
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 1: for you to have that learning in case in an emergency. Yeah,

1348
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 1: but it seems like they don't Connor on you and

1349
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 1: your sister for the whole lot of Yeah, and it's

1350
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: it's good that you're taking that stand. It's tough, but

1351
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 1: it is good that you're taking No.

1352
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 3: This is the hard truth and this is the reality

1353
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 3: of things, and you need to come. They need to

1354
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 3: come and face to face with it and stop stop

1355
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:57,440
Speaker 3: putting it on you and your family. Not again a business.

1356
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: Both of them eventually gave me the thumbs up most jeez.

1357
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: His wife said she was going to stay home with

1358
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 1: Connor and not go on the trip and said they

1359
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 1: see me in two weeks when we have a hangout.

1360
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: We'll see what happens then. But at the very least

1361
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 1: I'm not on the hook for watching him and someone

1362
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:14,880
Speaker 1: that can calm him is I will do my best

1363
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: to keep pushing them to expand their circle and seek

1364
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 1: out other options and programs that will help them with Connor,

1365
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 1: as I think that that would be greatly beneficial to

1366
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 1: the quality of life for all of them and prevent

1367
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 1: a situation like this to have her happen again. Wow,

1368
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:32,200
Speaker 1: And I learned a lot from this one. This was

1369
01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 1: a great story.