WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: It Was Great to See Pooh 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:05.480 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:09.240 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.920 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:15.800 crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:20.240 pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot takes 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:24.080 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:33.640 Maller starts right now in the air everywhere as it 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:37.519 is the Saturday edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:42.920 Mallard and Danny G. Radio. I'm on drugs right now, man, 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:47.559 and we do this podcast because listen, eight days a 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:50.159 week is required, four hours a night or not enough 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:52.880 for me. And Danny does the show during the week 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:55.480 during the day there late afternoon, depending on where you 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:58.960 are with Cavino and Rich. But we are hanging out 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:01.840 with you all all weekend long. You can get this 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:06.520 podcast wherever you find podcast. Now you've already found it, 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:07.920 so I don't need to tell you, but you can 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:12.800 tell a friend. And this the Saturday podcast Danny G Radio. 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:16.280 So exciting, this is so amazing. We've got NFL playoff 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:22.240 football today and tomorrow. This is the last Saturday with 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:26.640 a playoff game. Because next week Championship Sunday, and then 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.319 it's the Super Bowl a couple of weeks after that. 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:32.840 That's the whole nine yards. Yeah, I love Saturday football. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:36.200 And one thing I've been loving about this podcast, Ben, 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:40.800 even though we have thousands and thousands of downloads, nobody 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:44.160 ratted you out on Twitter this past week about what 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:47.199 you did to the microphone in the studio. It makes 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:50.760 me feel comfortable that we could share intimate things on 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:55.200 this podcast without snitches getting stitches. It is funny that 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.720 you would bring that up, Danny, because I actually am 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:02.320 going to tell a tale about that part of the 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:08.519 podcast and something that is very important to me. And uh, 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:11.560 it's it's it's an added bonus from doing the podcast 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:13.280 because people have said, like, what are you doing? You 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:15.400 do the show during the week. You don't need this, 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.040 what why why would you bother with the podcast made 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:21.720 with a shame on you? Uh? But but but there 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.480 are reasons for it. Um not really financial, as you know, Danny, 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:28.520 We're not getting rich doing this, but there's other reasons. 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:32.000 So on this Saturday editional the podcast, I've got Unmasked 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:38.360 Autoshop graduate, Mary Poppins Bag, and we've got pop goes 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:44.040 the culture backscratcher and whatever else pops up, and we 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:46.280 are the flag is up, Danny, We're off to the races. 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.840 Are you ready? Let's do it? All right? So this 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.880 past weekend I was away from my watch post and 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:53.359 I want to tell I'm gonna tell a story in 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.919 this podcast that's never been told before and probably should 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:58.720 not be told because it's the kind of thing. When 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:02.040 I tell this story later on, and it's a tease, Danny, 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.880 people will be bringing this up and harassing me from 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:06.520 the story. But I feel like I need to share 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:10.720 the story. It's an embarrassing story, it's an awkward story, 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:12.960 but I'm really doing it as a psc So I'll 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.040 do that later. But this past week and I was 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.400 away from the watch Tower for a couple of nights. 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:23.840 And if you listen to this podcast every weekend, and 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.720 if you listen last weekend, you had insider information. I 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.560 had a memorial my father, my dear old dad, Papa, 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:34.280 passed away h in early one, like the second day 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.680 of one. I celebrated New Year's with him, actually with 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:41.480 the hospital, and then I got he ended up dying 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:45.200 in the hospital. But I had family traveling to the 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:51.640 North Woods from four time zones. I had the eastern, 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.960 the East Coast times on three hours ahead of the 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:58.840 West Coast. I had the Central times on so all 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:01.280 of them, and Mountains time zone, and of course people 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.440 traveling from from the Pacific time zone, so I had 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:08.800 every time zone covered, and my family spread out all 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.640 of the country. These are important people in my life. 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:12.400 I had a chance to hang out, for example, with 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.640 my seventy nine year old uncle, is gonna turn eighty 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:20.039 in February, my last living aunt or uncle that I 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.000 know of. But but yeah, they're gonna hang out and 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.440 and it's it's awesome, and it gives me hope, you know, 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:28.360 because as we get older, Danny, we kind of looked 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.839 at relatives that are older and we're like, well, that 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:34.240 gives us a pathway that we have a shot. Otherwise 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.680 you're like, oh, we're fucked. You know. It's like the 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:40.000 famous story about Mickey Mantle. This is probably a dated 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:43.080 story now, but this great Yankee Mickey Mantle, and he 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:46.440 drank himself. I mean he had he thought he was 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.039 gonna die when he was like fifty, and so he 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.640 just kept drinking and drinking because his father had passed 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.679 away young and a bunch of relatives, but he didn't 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.200 like he didn't die when he thought he was gonna die, 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.360 and then he had all the health problems because of it. 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:02.400 So I thought you were gonna say, just fucking go 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:08.279 for it because it doesn't matter. No. No, he died 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.720 and then, if I remember correctly, his death was prematurely 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:15.360 reported before social media, and then they had to apologize 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.400 for him dying, and then I think it was NBC, 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:19.279 and then they had to report on him dying again, 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:24.920 which was awkward. Yeah, that's a that's an awkward situation. 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:27.000 So it was great to see my uncle. You know, 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:28.920 I be gud. I see everybody by my uncle Mel. 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:33.159 We have we have people in our lives. We live 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:38.240 different lives, much different lives, but we know people that 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.360 that kind of crossed. Like there's a buddy of mine 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:45.440 who's a realtor who knows my uncle. There's a there's 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:49.560 a kid in Israel who's studying to become a rabbi 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:52.799 who knows my uncle, and there's a few other people. 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:54.800 Over the years, so I and being around him, I 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:56.480 felt like I was like nine years old and a 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:01.160 family reunion or a barn for or something like that. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:03.240 So it was really it was really neat and some 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:08.120 of the some of the weekend was like a Brady 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.960 Bunch reunion. It was like a flashback to a different time. 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:15.320 My my wife went over the top. You've been to 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:19.600 some of these parties, Danny, and yet again showing that 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.159 she's the hostess with the mostess there. If it was 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.719 up to me and my brothers, we would have had 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:28.279 some bagels and some locks and maybe a couple of 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:30.880 drinks and some crackers and that would have been that. 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:38.000 Um and she, of course over Roade are planning for 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.599 this shin dig and she put together the spread for 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.760 the ages. It was bananas. It was like pasta to 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:48.960 the right, sandwiches to the left, dessert here there and everywhere, 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.680 and uh and so so she did an amazing job. 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:56.479 And one of the other bonuses of this weekend get 0:06:56.520 --> 0:07:03.120 to the point, please Weekend with Family is unmasked the 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:07.600 guys that are p ones but kind of folk p ones, right, 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.840 And what I mean by it was an added benefit 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:15.239 like the radio listener, the person that's loud and proud 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:18.320 and interacts with the show when I'm on terrestrial radio, 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:22.680 but they don't religiously download and we get great numbers 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.640 on the podcast. It does very well. But I'm I'm 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.040 fascinated by this because some of the biggest fans of 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:31.000 the show don't tune in. If you listen, we talked 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:34.720 about our personal lives. We divulge things that we don't 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.240 talk about sometimes on the radio, and because we can 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.080 in the podcast. It's a more intimate set up here 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.200 than it is maybe in the radio studio, and so 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:47.680 the naked truth is given and you if you listen 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:51.560 to this podcast regularly, you are rewarded for being loyal. 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:55.960 I had big time super fans and so Anthony and Anaheim, 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.840 Justin and Cincinnati among others who were like outraged, they 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:04.080 were blindsided, Danny that I was not at my position 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:08.080 in my chair overseeing the playoffs in the NFL for 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.040 that show, and these guys like busting my balls and 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:12.680 they give me a hard time to throw in jabs 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:19.000 at me, totally oblivious, totally clueless that this a has 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.840 been planned for over two months and be we talked 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.640 about it in detail on the podcast. Now there were 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.200 some Mr Nice Guy and a few other guys were like, oh, yeah, 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:30.480 we know what's going on. But bad job by them. 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:34.040 And again they were unmasked, and my my brothers were 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:36.360 in town, and my my younger brother from Wisconsin, my 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:39.599 older brother from New York, and my my wife was 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:41.840 actually upset Danny that he did not talk more. She 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:45.120 wanted me to talk more. But as you know, working 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.960 in radio, we we do are talking into microphones. We 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.079 don't have to be the star of the show all 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.400 the time when we're not on the radio. I don't anyway, 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:56.520 kind of me in the background, in the shadows a 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:59.280 moment when she wants you to talk more, she should 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:03.400 hand you an old school mr microphone. Yeah, exactly, hand 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.200 me a karaoke microphone or something along those lines. That's 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.559 that's all I need. I'm good on that. I am 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:13.400 such a radio loser, dare you. So that was my weekend. 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:17.440 There is more to the weekend, uh, much more, which 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:20.600 is quite embarrassing but needs to be said as a 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:24.600 public service announcement, and we'll get to that. But I 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:29.240 am not a graduate, certainly not an auto shop graduate. 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.640 When I have a problem with my car, you know 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:33.520 where I go a mechanic. That's where I go, Danny, 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.720 g I go to a mechanic that's my spot. I 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:41.200 I pay a professionals. What I do. I think you've 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:45.560 already had another issue with your mallarmobile. Yes, a lot 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:49.560 of us. When something goes wrong with our car, we're like, oh, 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:53.720 this is not in the budget. My little race car 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.679 has had the fancy cover on it in the carboard 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.400 for a couple of months. Now, I remember when this happened. 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:04.640 You were going like either uphill or something there down right. 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.679 Do you remember the price on that clutch? It was 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:11.320 like thousands of dollars and it's double or triple what 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:15.120 you might think these days. So since I told that story, 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:19.160 I have not had extra funds to get that new 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:23.600 clutch because obviously wedding and you know now I got 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.360 a little one on the way. So what I did, Ben, 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.520 I found a broker way better than just trading your 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:32.520 car in at a dealership. So this broker is gonna 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:36.240 get me almost full money and my down payment on 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:38.840 the car, which is nice. So I get to go 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:43.800 shop for a new car eventually. Here. Yeah. To get 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:47.760 the car sold though, I had to get the battery jumped. 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.520 I had to had triple A come out also running 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:54.520 the engine to try to keep the battery charged over 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:58.120 these past few months. The tank was on empty, so 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.800 I had to go down and get some fuel and 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:03.600 put that in and you know, get the engine going 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:07.240 because now when the buyer comes, they obviously want to 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:10.280 make sure that the car is running. I've had my 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.720 hands full of that. So I'm driving a little bucket 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:18.680 right now. In l A And in San Jose we 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:22.559 called this a hoopdi. You know what a hoop de 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:27.400 is a hoop he is a beat up car that 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.640 you don't mind denting. Okay, so yeah, we used to 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.240 go we call them beaters back in the day. My 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.480 right hand was getting a workout. Yeah, okay, I didn't know. 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:42.040 I've not heard the term hoopti though, So yeah, you know, 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:47.040 it sucks driving a hoopdi because the seed is uncomfortable. 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.320 There are some upsides to it, like if you dent it, 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:55.960 if you spill something inside. You know, you can kind 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.480 of be sloppy with a hoopdi because it doesn't really matter. Yeah, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.840 it's already beat up, it's already got the cruises on 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.880 it and all that stuff that it's a and you 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.960 can get these really cheap. There's a guy that worked 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.120 at did some work on the Mallard mansion. Who's like, 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.280 here's a guy from Mexico and he's like, oh, yeah, 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.120 you need a car. I get your car for three grand, 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:15.920 you know, I get your brand new car, you know, 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.360 and not brand new obviously, but one of those like 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:23.160 three thousand bucks. And you know it's it's amazing. There's 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:27.000 a whole underground network of these cars. Wid. Yeah, you're 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:31.360 exactly right now. The thing is, this doesn't belong to me. 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:36.880 This car belongs to my tender Roni's oldest son. But 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:39.680 he's at the dorms right now. He just started college, 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:42.080 so he doesn't need the car on a day to 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.480 day basis. So that's what gave me a cushion here 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.360 to go ahead and find a broker and sell my car. 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.440 I'm gonna do the responsible thing, Ben, since I have 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.800 a kid on the way, I'm gonna get a bigger 0:12:55.880 --> 0:13:00.360 race car. Oh. I thought I was to ask you 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.280 if you're geting a minivan or like a station wagon, 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.680 like an old school bio, like a nineteen seventies station 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:10.400 wagon or something like that. But yeah, right, get a 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:13.760 HEMI engine in a car that has a back seat. 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.560 So I'm gonna trade my small race car in for 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:20.960 a bigger race car. But I gotta get to the 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:25.040 other side with this beater, as you call it. And 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:27.520 I'm not doing a good job because I was at 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:31.800 the McDonald's down the street from our Sherman Oaks studios 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:35.920 because right before going in to prepare the Coveno and 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.840 Rich show, I needed an iced coffee. I'm like, okay, 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:42.200 I got time to get a coffee here and run 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.240 back to the studios. You know what a ship show 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:49.880 it is right there on Sepulvida. Oh it's a nightmare. Yeah, 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:51.800 And now I gotta pull out. But there's a line 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.840 of cars trying to get back onto Sepulvida, and one 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.160 lane is supposed to go straight and one lane is 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:03.160 supposed to turn right onto Sepulvida. You've probably seen this 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.560 bend where that asshole gets right in the middle of 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:10.320 both lanes. Oh sure, yeah. So there's a big line 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.839 of cars and we're like, you idiot, like move over 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.800 to the left so we can all turn right onto Sepulvida. Here, 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.320 I wanted to get to the studios, you know how 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:21.680 it is before the show. You're aunty, you want to 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:24.680 be in the building Yeah, you definitely want to. You 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.560 don't want to be walking in when you're like a 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.560 minute from the You gotta get there earlier. Otherwise I'm like, crap, 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.280 you know you had a breath. Jeez. Well, you and 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:39.400 I are so psycho about our radio shows that I 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.480 feel that way a half hour before the show, Like, 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.560 I don't feel comfortable unless I'm in there forty minutes 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.200 before the show. So I'm looking at my watch and 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.880 I'm like, shoot, I only got forty five minutes before 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.840 the show starts. I'm not gonna wait on this person. 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.200 So I do what a race car driver would do, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:14:59.760 and I scowed it all the way over to the 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:05.080 and even though there wasn't enough space to get by, 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:08.160 I still went ahead and did it. But men I 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:13.800 turned right, Boom was a dynamite. Oh no, the right 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:18.120 side of the front of the car. Did that big 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:22.840 drop off the curb? Yeah, and you know the feeling 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:27.880 of the whole tire, the wheel well front bumper, and 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.080 you you kind of panic because you're like, holy shit, 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.200 what did I do? Is that permanent damage? What's it 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:35.160 gonna look like when I get out of the car. 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:40.000 And also when you do something like that, the In 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:43.280 this case, there were a couple of homeless people right there. 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:46.280 They just they like are they doing the Nelson? They're 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.560 like from the sembis ha ha. They're like pointing at you, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.600 like you They all turned their heads and they looked 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.520 like who just did that? Down to like the front 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.440 of a car falling apart? Did you have to get 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.360 out of the car at this point? Are you try? You? 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.480 And that's the worst one. You don't really know and 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.680 you have to get out and make that walk and 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.640 like the anticipation, you're like, is that as bad as 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.080 I think it is? Maybe I'll get lucky, you know 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.920 that whole thing. Wow. Instead of a walk of shame, 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.480 this is a drive of shame. As I go underneath 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.680 the overpass turn into our parking garage. As I'm trying 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:27.080 to find a parking space, that front wheel is dragging 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:35.080 and I'm like, oh, this is not good. So I 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:39.600 get into the parking space and I turned the car off. 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:43.320 I walk around, and You're right, it's that anticipation, like 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:47.120 what am I about to see right now? That front 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:51.040 bumper on the right hand side was dragging down by 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:54.560 the tire. I was like, holy sh it, how am 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:58.840 I gonna mess up two cars in a row. But 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:04.040 I had auto shop in school, all right, and not 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.359 just a normal auto shop class. I had R. O P. 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:10.879 Auto Mechanics, which was you got to stay in the 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:13.600 class two classes in a row. All you were the 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.440 teacher's pet. Oh you were special. I'm wearing a bathrobe 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:22.639 and I'm not even sick. This though, is auto body class. 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.639 I've never had that. That's a class many of us 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:30.479 would benefit from. After Colvino and Rich was over, I 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.199 finished the podcast, and now it's dark outside. I go 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:37.560 to the parking garage and I'm like, I remember what 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.040 the front of this car looks like. I lay my 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.080 jacket down on the ground, bend, turned my flashlight on 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.720 my phone on, crawl underneath the front of the bumper, 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.440 and I was able to snap the front bumper back 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:54.160 into position. It's almost like made out of plastic. It's 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.840 like a liner inside of the bumper, right around the tire. 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.840 And I was able to snapped that back into place. 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:05.840 Oh nice. My clothes were filthy from being on the 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.600 on the the ground there at our garage. But once 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:11.919 I was able to snap all that back in place, 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.399 you can't even tell, really it was that good. That's awesome. 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:20.359 The Hoopdi is back to being in its standard Hoopdi condition. 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:24.200 This is a circle of trust. As long as nobody 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:28.359 tells my TENDERNI what I did, and she's not bored 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.359 one day and downloads this podcast, nobody will be the 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:34.800 wiser she's she's married to you. That that the podcast 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.879 being downloaded happens only sporadically. Now now that now that 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:39.760 she signed you up to the contract, you don't need 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:43.679 to worry. You're you're good on that. That's great. I 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:47.679 had I had a bumper issue years ago. I was 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:51.359 driving to the old Mallard Matsion after the show. They 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:55.480 were doing some Caltrans construction work, so a couple of 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.920 lanes were closed. I got cut off by this guy 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:02.800 going about seven any five, so I had to go 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:06.439 into the kind of construction the cone zone, and I 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:10.320 ended up hitting like four or five cones. You don't 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.000 think of those cones is doing much damage, but if 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:17.040 you're going fast enough, they fucking rip your car apart. 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.000 And they took my bumper half My bumper was off 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:22.600 the car like it was. It was bouncing as I drove, 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:25.240 and uh and I and I didn't know how to 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:29.240 fix it, and it cost a freaking fortune to get 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:33.560 that thing done. So it was it was a nightmare 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:38.800 as we pressed on, So I wanted to I want 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.080 to tell the stories A P s A. I probably 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:42.880 should not tell this story. It's a story that will 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:44.280 come back to haunt me. But I'm gonna tell a 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:47.399 name because it's all about the life of myself and 0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:52.440 Danny g and So this is a global podcast exclusive. 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.000 Nobody else has what I'm about to say. Nobody else 0:19:56.000 --> 0:20:00.080 has this content. This past week, Danny I made a 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:06.359 tactical error. Sun Zoo said that every war is one 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:11.919 before it has ever fought. That the fighting it's already 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:16.040 won before. So that also goes for some medical maladies 0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:18.480 that pop up. Now my routine was broken. This is 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:20.760 also kind of a car story. So last week I 0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:25.600 had family in town. But before that, the mallarmobile broke 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:29.679 down yet again, and that meant we only have a 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:33.600 couple of cars here. So my wife has she has 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:35.199 to go to a job. I don't. I can do 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:37.040 the show from the home studio, So my wife took 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:41.000 the car and so I was landlocked at the Mallard match. 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:44.359 I was under home arrest for you for the time 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:46.919 that the car. We were down to one car. My 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:50.159 treadmill is broken. I have no vehicle to get to 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:54.359 the gym. So I am living a sedentary life, sitting 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:57.760 on my ass watching sports and then talking about sports 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:00.159 all night. Is it too far away to do an 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:05.040 uber rye Uh yeah, I mean I could have conceivably 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:08.160 done that, but I was being frugal. I'm not gonna lie. 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:11.200 So I'm doing a lot of soul serci. I'm sitting 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:14.320 and I'm contemplating, you know, life and how I'm in 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:17.720 this situation. But I had a kind of a digestive 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:21.639 issue that popped up, or so I thought. My initial 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:24.920 thought was I was doing the arithmetic, and I was like, wow, 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:27.640 it's been a you know, a couple of days, and uh, 0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:30.159 you know, I haven't gone to the to the to 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:34.359 the little boys room, you know, number two. So I 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:39.560 was clogged up a little and a little snag in 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:43.000 the digestive system. So it had been a couple of 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:45.520 days since I'd gone to the potter room. Call it 0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:50.800 a constipation situation. This is the kind of content you need, Danny. Yeah, 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:53.840 So that's what I thought it was. Now my wife 0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:59.679 recommended a cleanse. She said, oh, no, I got some 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:01.920 out something for you know, I said, you know, clean 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.840 out your small intestine and you'll be pooping like a champ. 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:09.120 You know, it'll be just just just great. And uh. 0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:11.760 And at the time, Danny, it seemed like a wonderful idea. 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:15.280 But this is actually a couple of days later, after 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:17.560 the original problem popped up, I was like, oh, I'll 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:19.240 give it a couple more days. And then I told 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:22.040 my wife I was waiting a couple extra days, and 0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:24.560 and she had this great idea, and so she gave me. 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.040 She went into her Mary Poppin's bag and she gave 0:22:27.080 --> 0:22:32.160 me some of her magic potions. That's the best laid 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:36.280 plans of mice men and gastric experts. Well, much to 0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:39.120 my chagrin, Danny, it turns out that when I had 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:44.280 self diagnosed myself as having a constipation situation, while I 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:47.840 did have that, I somewhere along the way because of 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:51.280 my sedentary life that ten days or so had developed. 0:22:52.400 --> 0:22:56.120 How can I describe this year? Um, there was a 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:59.200 a situation that sometimes pops up if you you sit 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:01.119 too long and don't move around. Dan, I don't know 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:04.520 if this ever happened to you. Um, certain things take 0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:09.800 place on the back side there that uh, let's just say, well, 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:13.960 we'll limit how things come out of that area. The 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:18.560 garage door is covered. There's something there. You know what 0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:22.560 you're feeling what I'm saying here, you you know, uh 0:23:22.680 --> 0:23:29.760 to where that starts with an h oh yeah yeah yeah. 0:23:29.920 --> 0:23:31.840