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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio

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Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Here's why it's so

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Speaker 1: hard to find a part time nanny. If you have

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Speaker 1: a nanny at you know, thirty dollars an hour for

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Speaker 1: ten hours a week, that's three dollars after taxes, it's

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Speaker 1: a hundred and eighty dollars a week. Nobody can live

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Speaker 1: off of that. Gas prices are outrageous and so is rent.

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Speaker 1: You're stopping a nanny from getting a morning job or

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Speaker 1: a night job. You do have to be a unified

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Speaker 1: force with the childcare expert. Let's put it to that

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Speaker 1: support staff that is going to help you think that

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Speaker 1: process all the way out. And that's a nanny that's

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Speaker 1: a team player. Let's make them feel great about who

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Speaker 1: they are and what they have to give. And then

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Speaker 1: let's work together and weave this this eternal piece of

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Speaker 1: connection that will help my child be something to give

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Speaker 1: something positive back to the universe. Hello everybody, and welcome

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Speaker 1: back to Katie's Cript. Today's topic is something that I

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Speaker 1: literally get asked about on the daily regular nanny's. I

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Speaker 1: get texts all the time with things like a friend

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Speaker 1: of a friend is looking for a nanny. I need

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Speaker 1: part time, full time a few hours. Do you have

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Speaker 1: any leads, do you know someone, or texts like my

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Speaker 1: nanny just got sick. Finding childcare is one of the

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Speaker 1: biggest pieces of the puzzle that you will face as

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Speaker 1: a mother. And that's regardless of whether you intend to

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Speaker 1: be a mother who is going back to work or

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Speaker 1: who is working part time or full time, or a

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Speaker 1: mom that would like to just have breaks from their child,

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Speaker 1: to have some sort of life outside of the household,

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Speaker 1: and for a myriad of other different reasons. Obviously people

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Speaker 1: do daycare, and also obviously we've done episodes of Katie's

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Speaker 1: Crib before where we've had, you know, a newborn care

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Speaker 1: specialist come on. But for today's topic specifically, we are

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Speaker 1: actually talking about nanny's for older children, you know, not

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Speaker 1: nanny's for newborns, but nanny's for infants, toddlers and up.

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Speaker 1: What we have for you all today is a two parter.

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Speaker 1: Half of today's episode is advice from a nanny agency expert,

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Speaker 1: and the other half of today's episode is advice from

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Speaker 1: a current nanny. I'm first chatting with Ryan Jordan, who's

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Speaker 1: the founder and CEO of Educated Nanny's. Educated Nannie's is

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Speaker 1: an agency that uses a personalized process to place elite

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Speaker 1: nanny's in homes within the Los Angeles area. Ryan's going

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Speaker 1: to talk to us all about how to find the

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Speaker 1: right nanny for your child. After Ryan, I then talked

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Speaker 1: to Nanny Connie. Nanny Connie the one and only. She's

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Speaker 1: a childcare professional. She's Hollywood's go to nanny. She has

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Speaker 1: thirty plus years of experience. She's helped celebrity parents like

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Speaker 1: Jessica Bille and John Krasinski. She's going to be talking

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Speaker 1: with us about how parents and nanny's can work together

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Speaker 1: in raising children. She's even going to give us some

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Speaker 1: quick parenting tips along the way. With that, let's get

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Speaker 1: started with our first guest. I have a dear friend

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Speaker 1: on who our kids know each other. They were in

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Speaker 1: the same soccer group. We have a close, close, mutual

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Speaker 1: friend by the name of Talia Moore who has been

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Speaker 1: on the Katie's Crib multiple times for postpartum depression work

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Speaker 1: and also for a pediatric nutrition um. Her name is

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Speaker 1: Ryan Jordan's and she is the founder and CEO of

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Speaker 1: Educated Nanny's in Los Angeles, a nationwide staffing agency that

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Speaker 1: places household employees. She's the creator of the Educated Mama podcast,

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Speaker 1: which I had the absolute pleasure of being a guest on.

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Speaker 1: Ryan has over twenty five years of experience working with

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Speaker 1: children and families as a childcare educator, consultant, teacher, nanny,

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Speaker 1: and tutor. She is the proud mother to two glorious children,

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Speaker 1: her seven year old son and her five year old daughter.

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Speaker 1: Welcome after all of this to Katie's scrab Brian Jordan's Yes, Katie,

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be with you. I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: to have you here. How and why did you start

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Speaker 1: this business? Yeah, that's a great question, and it's it's

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Speaker 1: funny because it's not something I ever would imagined I

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Speaker 1: would be doing, right, I was like most people that

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Speaker 1: moved here from another state, and it was going to

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Speaker 1: be an actress or do something in that field. I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that. Ah, yes, Katie. I tend not to

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Speaker 1: share that portion with my successful friends, you know, oh, police, police, No,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, years ago, years ago. So you came off

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Speaker 1: of every plane, train and boat to Los Angeles with

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Speaker 1: dreams and being in Hollywood, which is why everyone comes

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Speaker 1: to l A. And your life takes whatever turns to

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Speaker 1: get you too, starting educated nanny's How did that happen? Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I started nanny for this little boy named baby Jake,

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Speaker 1: and it changed my life. And I knew it wasn't

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Speaker 1: I need to be a mom yet, but I had

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Speaker 1: so much joy being with kids. So I would go

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Speaker 1: on auditions and then I would nanny for a family.

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Speaker 1: She was a writer, and I fell in love with

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Speaker 1: her son, and then you know, we all have those

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Speaker 1: moments in our life where we have that big paradigm shift. Well,

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Speaker 1: mine was in two thousand nine my dad passed away

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Speaker 1: from an aneurism and at that moment it was super pivotal.

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Speaker 1: I was thirty one years old, I wasn't married yet,

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Speaker 1: I was dating Katie. I mean, it was it was awful.

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Speaker 1: It was awful, and he was my best friend. And

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Speaker 1: when he died, you know, I you know how you

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Speaker 1: kind of live out your parents dreams for a while

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Speaker 1: and you get kind of in that mode, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be an actress. And my dad and

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Speaker 1: I had this thing where he was so funny and

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Speaker 1: we do like little things together, and he loved the

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Speaker 1: entertainment world and he didn't work in it, but he

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Speaker 1: should have. You know. We had fun like that. And

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Speaker 1: then when he died, I thought what can I do

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Speaker 1: to make a difference in this world? And where what

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Speaker 1: is my purpose? And I had a full on paradigm shift.

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Speaker 1: I dropped everything. I quit acting like cold turkey. Literally,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm done, that's it. And I went

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Speaker 1: to Pepperdine and got my master's degree in education and

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Speaker 1: I started tutoring. And one of the families that I

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Speaker 1: tutored with they joked around, oh, you're the educated nanny

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Speaker 1: because I had my master's degree in education and I

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Speaker 1: had my teaching credential. So I started teaching school and

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Speaker 1: it was like a huge shift. Wow, how amazing. And

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Speaker 1: then that was it. That was the inspiration of it.

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Speaker 1: And finally I just remember this day. It was in

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Speaker 1: February of two thousand thirteen, so now this is four

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Speaker 1: years later. I had nannied. I had been a you know,

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Speaker 1: a school teacher for first grade, in fourth grade and

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Speaker 1: second grade and summer school special at I did and

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Speaker 1: literally one of the families um that knew me, asked

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Speaker 1: me to come back and be there nanny. And I

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Speaker 1: left my teaching job and said, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: want to have a family one day. What can I

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Speaker 1: do that I can have freedom and flexibility? Hi? I

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Speaker 1: left that now being a business owner of freedom and flexibility.

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Speaker 1: All right, um, what can I do? And I just

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Speaker 1: the children always inspired me. And I love moms, I

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Speaker 1: especially love new moms. So I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 1: let me start my agency. So three months later I

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Speaker 1: started my agency and I've never looked back. And I

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Speaker 1: swear this is my skill set. All the improv classes

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Speaker 1: I took, I can talk to anybody, all of the

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Speaker 1: child development courses. Yeah, this is the culmination of so

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Speaker 1: many things that you're great at coming together in service

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Speaker 1: of other people. Because you know, you and I share

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Speaker 1: this same thing, which was we were both nanny's. I

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Speaker 1: was a nannie also for a long time, you were

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Speaker 1: a nannye um, I now employ a nanny and other

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Speaker 1: childcare backup nanny's. You employ um not only personally childcare,

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Speaker 1: but also and you have in your life, but also

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Speaker 1: now you run an agency where you're literally placing nanny's

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Speaker 1: with families. It is the strangest thing that they are

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Speaker 1: a paid family member. I mean, I can't even begin

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Speaker 1: to tell you the stories when I was a nanny

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Speaker 1: of the inside, behind closed doors things I've saw of

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Speaker 1: people's families, how you're loved and trusted with the most

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Speaker 1: prized possession, that is the most important thing to your being.

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Speaker 1: And at the same time you're an employee. It's freaking weird.

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Speaker 1: It's so it is such a fine line boundary because

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Speaker 1: I joked around that my nanny was my work wife.

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Speaker 1: Your nanny knows so much information and sees so many things,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it's such a personal professional fine line.

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Speaker 1: It's an interesting and delicate dance, and most nanni's know

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Speaker 1: how to do that dance. But I mean it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: You come home and you know so much information about

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Speaker 1: all of the members of that family, and you're so

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Speaker 1: emotionally connected to the family, but yet not yep. Right,

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna get into that boundary and discussion in

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Speaker 1: a little bit. But, um, when do you think it

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Speaker 1: is time for people who are listening, who are thinking

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Speaker 1: about possibly hiring a nanny. When do you think it's

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Speaker 1: time to make that sort of a decision. That is

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Speaker 1: an excellent question because I can tell you nine out

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Speaker 1: of ten times the person has called me too late.

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Speaker 1: I agree with you, and was hoping that that was

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Speaker 1: your answer. Yes, Yes, it's a planet call that I

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Speaker 1: get nine out of ten times. I need a nanny,

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Speaker 1: A S A P. I need a nanny like yesterday,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, listen, background checks take three business days.

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Speaker 1: We need to hear from references, and half the references

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Speaker 1: we talked to our high profile entertainment families that are

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Speaker 1: you know, in Belize, and they're not going to get

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Speaker 1: back to us for two weeks, and we have to

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Speaker 1: do our due diligence, not even to mention the personal fit,

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Speaker 1: yes exactly. And trial What am I looking for in

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Speaker 1: this person? And I want to talk about trial days too, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I think first and foremost for people listening, if

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Speaker 1: you feel in your gut like you're underwater and you

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Speaker 1: need help and things are really hard, and you've looked

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Speaker 1: at your finances and you're thinking you could afford something,

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Speaker 1: you should at least start the process of really looking

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Speaker 1: into it. Because you're right, I think people turn to

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Speaker 1: it way too late, just way too late. Why do

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Speaker 1: you what do you think for people listening? What is

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Speaker 1: the difference between a personal nanny and daycare? So for me,

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Speaker 1: a daycare is somewhere where you drop your child for

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Speaker 1: the day and they have you know, a classroom where

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Speaker 1: it's multiple pot teachers and multiple child care providers and

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Speaker 1: their socialization and so that's a great option for some

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Speaker 1: families and other options. You know, having a personal nanny

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Speaker 1: comes with all of those other benefits when you don't

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Speaker 1: have to leave your home during COVID, A lot of

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Speaker 1: people made that choice because you felt more protected and safe. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I always tell people, if you can't afford

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Speaker 1: to hire a nanny, why wouldn't you. They help with

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Speaker 1: children's laundry, They help prepare meals, you know, when I

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Speaker 1: come in the door from work, you know, knowing that

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Speaker 1: all of those things have been helped with during my

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Speaker 1: weak means I get to have that quality time with

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Speaker 1: my child where when a nanny's at daycare and if

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Speaker 1: you're working, when you're coming home and still doing all

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Speaker 1: of those things. So I think they're both great options.

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Speaker 1: But I always advise people that if you can afford

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Speaker 1: to hire a nanny, why not why not get those

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Speaker 1: extra things done and have a great role model for

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Speaker 1: your child on the moments you can't be there. I

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Speaker 1: always hire an extension of myself. I think to myself,

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Speaker 1: what are my weaknesses, what are my shanks? Is this

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Speaker 1: personality like me? And then I'm just comfortable and confident

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Speaker 1: that if I leave, I know there's backup. And also

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Speaker 1: to like, if my child is sick. Prior to the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: most nanny has had no problem doing sickcare. You can't

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Speaker 1: drop a sick cut child off at daycare or school

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Speaker 1: or anywhere else. I was just going to say the

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Speaker 1: biggest difference too, Okay, So if we were going to

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Speaker 1: make a sweeping generalization, daycarees are usually way less expensive

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Speaker 1: than a personal, full time nanny. So there's that to

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Speaker 1: look at. That's a b um. If you work strange

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Speaker 1: hours like I do that aren't consistent, a personal nanny

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Speaker 1: is the only choice really because most daycare is close

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Speaker 1: at a certain time, and if I'm on set till

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Speaker 1: ten eleven PM, that's not a possibility. For example, my

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Speaker 1: brother and his daughter is at a traditional daycare and

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Speaker 1: the hours are, like you know, they're long, they're eight

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Speaker 1: to five and it's amazing, But sometimes I have to

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Speaker 1: be a work at four am and I don't get

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Speaker 1: home until a PM. So like that would never be

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Speaker 1: a setup for me, and then you were saying, which

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Speaker 1: is right, there's amazing benefits to daycare. I've dropped my

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Speaker 1: niece off multiple times. I've picked her up multiple times.

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Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's so um socialized, and everything is incredibly

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Speaker 1: clean and organized. And I was actually so blown away.

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Speaker 1: And for those who are listening where daycare is the

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Speaker 1: affordable option for you, this podcast is in no way

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Speaker 1: shape form um thinking that that is a bad choice,

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Speaker 1: because it is not. It's amazing. My brother could not

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Speaker 1: be happier, and honestly, I should do a whole episode

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Speaker 1: with him on Days Thrilled. However, one of the things

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Speaker 1: that was interesting that I was babysitting my niece for

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Speaker 1: five days when they went away and she had a

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Speaker 1: fever of a hundred and they called me and I

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Speaker 1: had to pick her ass up, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. Because a lot of daycares have strict

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Speaker 1: policies where if there's any chi running a fever, they

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Speaker 1: have to be picked up immediately. If there's been two

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Speaker 1: diarrhea poops in one day, you have to pick the

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Speaker 1: kid up. And so if you have a personal nanny

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Speaker 1: most of the time, especially pre COVID, but even like

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Speaker 1: my nanny now, even in COVID, if my kid has

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Speaker 1: a cold or my kid has a diarrhea, she's coming anyway,

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Speaker 1: And like, thank god because I can't call in sick

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Speaker 1: to work. So those are just laying out some of

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Speaker 1: the differences. Um, but I like what you said about

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Speaker 1: you think of a personal nanny as an extension of

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Speaker 1: yourself and your parenting. What are his or her strengths

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Speaker 1: or weaknesses versus your strengths and weaknesses. Since this is

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Speaker 1: the village that is raising your can you take me

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Speaker 1: through if someone was going to hire educated nanni's what

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Speaker 1: does the process look like? Um, to start with a

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Speaker 1: nanny agency and the fees and like all that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I can give you a generalized look at that

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Speaker 1: as specific looks. So so just so everyone that's listening. So,

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Speaker 1: placement agencies are nationwide, and most agencies start with some

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Speaker 1: type of registration fee. Why, there's a lot of work

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Speaker 1: that goes into it upfront, such as drafting the job description.

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Speaker 1: Our agency specifically did home visits prior to the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: so I drove to every single client's home I met

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Speaker 1: with them. It's a very much personalized experience. Now, I

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Speaker 1: do Zoom consultations for thirty to forty five minutes with

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Speaker 1: every client, and our registration fee is five hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: Some agencies charged two hundred to five hundred dollars. You know,

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Speaker 1: our agency specifically applies that to the placement fee. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's a deposit and that's just an agreement

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Speaker 1: that we are teaming up to move forward. And then

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Speaker 1: once you hire a nanny, you know, fees are anywhere

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Speaker 1: from fifteen to ours is eighteen and and that's the

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Speaker 1: placement fee. It's a one time fee. It's a luxury.

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Speaker 1: It can range anywhere from eight thousand up to twenty

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars. But that's you know, most nannies are growing

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Speaker 1: with families for the next two, three or four years.

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Speaker 1: And I and I how people to always think of

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Speaker 1: this as you know, this is an investment in your

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Speaker 1: child's future and your future as well, your career or

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Speaker 1: your sanity. So I don't know if you can put

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Speaker 1: a price tag on that, but I mean support is support, Yes,

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Speaker 1: support is support. I mean, honestly, you know, our nanny

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Speaker 1: has been with us since Albi was eight weeks old,

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Speaker 1: and I went back to scandal, and we are her

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Speaker 1: final family. You know, she's sixty seven. She's telling me

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Speaker 1: she's taking me to the end, which means that I'm

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Speaker 1: taking her to the end of her career. So like

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Speaker 1: you know, she's had many families before me. But she

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Speaker 1: is going to get my kids to the place where

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Speaker 1: they're in school, you know, full time. So she's got

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Speaker 1: another two three years with Vera. But like you said,

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Speaker 1: like that's putting a deposit down on a relationship where

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Speaker 1: she's been will have been a full time employee of

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Speaker 1: mine for like eight to possibly tend if we do

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Speaker 1: part time after that ten years. So Katie, I will say,

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Speaker 1: though that is a rarity. Though I want to I

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Speaker 1: want to be clear. Oh good nanny. You know it's

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Speaker 1: a rarity, Katie. Most nanny's in l a nanny they're

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Speaker 1: very It's transient city. So think about that. Most people

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Speaker 1: come into this city for a purpose and they leave

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Speaker 1: with a passion. I always say that, or they leave

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Speaker 1: because of COVID, you know. And so most nanny's are

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Speaker 1: at homes for two to three years, sometimes five, sometimes six.

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Speaker 1: A lot of nanny's want to grow with a family.

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Speaker 1: But we also have families that just up and left

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Speaker 1: and we're like, hey, we can't live here anymore. So

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Speaker 1: the rules that were prior to the pandemic are very

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Speaker 1: different than their rules now. But if you have a

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Speaker 1: nanny that wants to grow with your family and she

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Speaker 1: is saying that you know you're my final family, I mean,

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Speaker 1: hold onto her like you've never held on. What a

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Speaker 1: beautiful relationship. I mean for those listening, it's crazy. I

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Speaker 1: hold onto her no matter what. She's got the best

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Speaker 1: job in the history of the world. If you asked me, um,

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Speaker 1: do you charge like when you work with an agency?

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Speaker 1: Is it the nanny's get paid hourly the same if

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Speaker 1: it's one kid, two kids? Like is that a given? Yes?

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Speaker 1: So the nanny has set their own rates, and most

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Speaker 1: nanny's will have one rate no matter the amount of children,

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Speaker 1: when it's one or two, when we get up to

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Speaker 1: three or four, so the rates could be anywhere from

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Speaker 1: thirty dollars an hour up to forty an hour. Growth

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Speaker 1: nanny's are all w two employees of a household. They

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Speaker 1: all have to be paid on payroll, They have to

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Speaker 1: be paid over time, they have to be paid sick time.

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Speaker 1: These are all different laws in California, other states, m

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Speaker 1: any states that have passed the domestic rights. So I

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Speaker 1: think there's nine of them now, yeah, that have passed

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Speaker 1: the domestic rates eight or nine? Um. And you know

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Speaker 1: this person is an employee of your household, so they

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Speaker 1: have to be paid legally. Yep, everything in my households

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Speaker 1: above board. Yes, thank gosh. You know. My goal when

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Speaker 1: I talk to people is to educate them on that. Yeah, people,

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Speaker 1: I get so many questions. Not only do I get

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Speaker 1: like this, why I'm so excited that you're on Not

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Speaker 1: only does the number one text I get from most

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Speaker 1: moms like do you have a nanny? Is any nanny looking?

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Speaker 1: Can your nanny ask? If there's any nannies who need

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Speaker 1: a job. The other one I get asked is what

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Speaker 1: is the difference between full time part time? Am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to paid sick days? How many? What are vacation days?

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Speaker 1: How many? Should we sign a contract or not? Can

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Speaker 1: you tell us those logisticals? This is great, This is

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Speaker 1: my favorite part of it. So absolutely sign a contract.

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Speaker 1: Who wants to be in a broken agreement? Think about this.

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Speaker 1: You're entering an agreement with a person that means you

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Speaker 1: want everything mapped out in that contract. What are the

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Speaker 1: grounds of termination? What are the paid vacation days, paid

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Speaker 1: sick time, paid holidays? What are the travel rates? What

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Speaker 1: are you gonna do if you're nanny calls and sick?

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Speaker 1: How much notice do they need to get? Is there

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Speaker 1: going to be a severance package if somebody leaves. It's

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Speaker 1: very important to map this out because the biggest relationship

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Speaker 1: blenders that I see are like six months in when

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Speaker 1: someone decides to take that vacation and nobody discussed anything,

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Speaker 1: and then it's the awkward conversation and people feel on

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Speaker 1: edge talking about these things. So what I always advise

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Speaker 1: is get everything on paper upfront, know what relationship you're entering,

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Speaker 1: so that you can just focus on caring for the

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Speaker 1: kids and you can focus on advising your employee and

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Speaker 1: go from there. Right, so let's talk about certain things.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna map this out for Los Angeles just because

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Speaker 1: we happen to be in Los Angeles. But l A

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Speaker 1: county is you must offer forty eight hours of paid

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Speaker 1: sick time. That does not mean two days, It means

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Speaker 1: forty eight hours. So if somebody works in an eight

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Speaker 1: hour day, typically that equates to six days, Right, you

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Speaker 1: don't have to offer paid vacation. However, I've never seen

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Speaker 1: anyone that hasn't. Most full time, which is forty hours

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Speaker 1: a week. We consider anything less than forty hours a

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Speaker 1: week part time. So forty hours a week. Most families

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Speaker 1: are offering two, three or four weeks paid vacation. They're

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Speaker 1: offering paid sick time, they're offering six to ten paid

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Speaker 1: federal holidays. A lot of families are offering a monthly

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Speaker 1: medical stipend or health insurance. And if a nanny's driving

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Speaker 1: her own vehicle, they must be and reimburse at the

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Speaker 1: federal mileage rate, which this year is fifty eight point

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Speaker 1: five cents per mile. So it's a big undertaking when

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Speaker 1: you hire an employee for your household. And I can

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Speaker 1: feel overwhelming, but I promise it'll feel much underwhelming throughout

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Speaker 1: the entire relationship if you spend an hour being overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: setting yourself up for success. It's so true. I was

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Speaker 1: so completely freaked out by all of this. True, it's

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Speaker 1: too toothfold. You feel a like, this is the most

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Speaker 1: money ever, But then be You're like, but they're taking

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Speaker 1: care of the like the most important thing that I've

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Speaker 1: ever known in my life. And then you're talking about

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Speaker 1: vacation days and oh my god, she's going to get

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Speaker 1: three weeks paid vacation, and she gets six sick paid

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Speaker 1: sick days, and I have to pay her for Martin

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Speaker 1: Luther King Day and Labor Day and Memorial Day and

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Speaker 1: all of that, and I have to say it's all okay.

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Speaker 1: Like that stuff that really I thought was sort of

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Speaker 1: hard to swallow at first and was really scary for

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Speaker 1: anybody who's listening. It has really just made the relationship

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Speaker 1: very clear and there is no resentment because I just

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Speaker 1: accepted it and those are the rules and that's what

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Speaker 1: she's used to. And it was a little bit hard

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Speaker 1: at first two because my nanny had been doing this

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Speaker 1: for thirty years and so she already knew all of

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Speaker 1: this coming in, and I was like, wait what what?

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Speaker 1: Wait what? And she's really alpha. You were talking about

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Speaker 1: strengths and weaknesses. Um, she and I have different strengths

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Speaker 1: and weaknesses. And she's very very great at boundaries and

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Speaker 1: she's very very strong in person, and so she comes

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Speaker 1: in knowing exactly what she deserves and what she wants

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Speaker 1: and how to get it. And like I was so

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Speaker 1: weirded out at first, and now I'm so grateful because

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Speaker 1: it was so clear, and I think that is really important.

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Speaker 1: It is, and honestly, any nanny that comes in with

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Speaker 1: those ideas is a professional. Any nanny that says to you,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be paid under the table, I've

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Speaker 1: never been paid on payroll, I don't have an employment agreement,

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Speaker 1: I don't sign an employment agreement, I would say run.

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Speaker 1: That's a huge red flag to me. And it's the

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Speaker 1: nanny that's probably gonna turn around and sue you because

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Speaker 1: she's gonna get COVID and go have to file for unemployment,

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Speaker 1: and there's going to be no unemployment for her to

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Speaker 1: file for. You and I have texted about this. It

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Speaker 1: seems impossible to find a part time nanny, anyone under

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Speaker 1: forty hours, which seems to be what a lot of

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Speaker 1: moms want because maybe they don't work full time hours,

427
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: or they are looking for just more sanity or whatever.

428
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 1: What the hell did those women do? Here's why it's

429
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: so hard to find a part time nanny. So I'll

430
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: get a phone call from a mom that says or

431
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: a dad that says, hey, I just need like twelve

432
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: hours a week. And I need it on like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday,

433
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: and it's from three to six. Okay, I mean that

434
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: math doesn't even work all this' nine hours. But whatever,

435
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 1: I need four days week, three hours ships right, you know,

436
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: you get me. So then that means that nanny can't

437
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: work with another family and how do you find another

438
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: job just on a Tuesday or the day that they

439
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: don't need you because they need that income because gas

440
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 1: prices are outrageous and so is rent. So that's why.

441
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 1: Because if you have those odd hours and some people

442
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 1: are like, well I just need like eleven to two,

443
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: and like you're you're stopping a nanny from getting a

444
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: morning job or a night job. So what I always

445
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: try to advise is do twenty hours a week and

446
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: do it after school. Offer after school hours between three

447
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: and seven or three and eight, and then maybe extend

448
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: to a date night, or maybe extend have an earlier

449
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: shift one week where that nanny grocery shops for you,

450
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: they walk your dog, they run some errands. So making

451
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: this into a family assistant role and get your other

452
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: stuff done, because the reality is there's a lot more

453
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: than twelve hours a week. That's the bare minimum that

454
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: people are asking for because they think, I just need

455
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: a little time here and there, but the nanny can't

456
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: afford to work that nobody can afford. If you have

457
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 1: a nanny at you know, thirty dollars an hour for

458
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: ten hours a week, that's three hundred dollars after taxes,

459
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: it's a hundred and eighty dollars a week. Nobody can

460
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: live off of that. Have you had any success. I've

461
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: had a couple of friends that have done like a

462
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: nanny share. So like, yeah, families that are best friends

463
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: that like, I did a nanny shape for years. Yeah,

464
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: they like, I'll take the mornings and then she has

465
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: a lunch break, and then she does afternoons at yours

466
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: and then you know, cobbling them together. She has the

467
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: full forty hours plus some overtime. Um, that's an offer.

468
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 1: And for people listening, it's it's not something that most

469
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: agencies take on because most of the time something happens.

470
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with nanny shares. It's especially during the pandemic,

471
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: it's like we have different ideals of what's safe, our

472
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 1: kids are in different pods. And then also I can

473
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: tell you this, it becomes a nanny bidding war kind

474
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: of where the relationships going smooth for about six months,

475
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: and then somebody gets a big break or a new job,

476
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: and now they need that nanny for more hours, and

477
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: then now they're offering more money in the nanny's You know,

478
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: it's never an equal playing ground. It's messy. It's messy,

479
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: or one of the kids go to school and now

480
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: you know somebody sick, Do I still pay them? I

481
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: find it to be super messy unless you're truly best

482
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: friends or neighbors. Um, it's hard to do a nanny

483
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: share for a long time. What would be interview questions

484
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: that you would advise someone who's interviewing a nanny This

485
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: is step one, like they're doing the zoom, like you've

486
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: matched up, they're doing the zoom, or it's the trial day.

487
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: What would be like three to five things you would

488
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: you would advise people to ask once you know, I'm

489
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 1: not talking logistics, like I'm not talking like pay or

490
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 1: things like that. M No. I think that's excellent because

491
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 1: we actually give our clients interview questions to ask, because

492
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,479
Speaker 1: I think it's hard for parents to come up with

493
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: those ideas. But some of the top questions we say

494
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: is number one, like why why did you choose to

495
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,360
Speaker 1: become a nanny? It's such a basic question, but you

496
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 1: learn a lot about a person. And then I would

497
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: say to the nanny, while my child is sleeping, what

498
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 1: are some of the activities you do? This is a

499
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 1: good way to see if somebody is proactive and helpful

500
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: part of the house exactly, Like if evan nanny is like, oh,

501
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying you can't take a break,

502
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 1: but a nanny might say, well, I take a break, okay,

503
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: or another nanny might respond with a question and say, oh,

504
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: I'm doing children's laundry and organizing toys and sanity seen bottles.

505
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: And you know you're going to see that somebody is proactive.

506
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 1: You know that's a difference. Um, you might ask have

507
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 1: you taken any classes or courses in child development or

508
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 1: have you studied any specific childcare philosophies? What is your

509
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: style of discipline? Hugely important? UM, right now, tell me

510
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: what COVID cautious means to you? Whoa guys, Ryan Jordan's

511
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 1: educated nanny's is worth it? This is so good, you know,

512
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: I mean these I it's like you know that because

513
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: some people ask some basic questions. And then this is

514
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: my kind of like kicker question that I asked nanny's.

515
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: You can learn so much because so many times they'll

516
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: answer in a unique way, what is your weakness. I'm

517
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: going to talk to your references and get all your

518
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 1: strengths and your weaknesses, but I like to hear from

519
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: nanny's what is your weakness? In interviews, I asked nanny's

520
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: that too. And if a nanny says to me, I

521
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: don't know how to say no, or I'm a perfectionist,

522
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: I will full stop that right there. First of all,

523
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: not knowing to say no, that is not well. That

524
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: is not a weakness. That's a gift to a boss.

525
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: That's not a weakness. It's a weakness to the job

526
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: or who you are. So I always say it might

527
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 1: be like I can't help with math over the age

528
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: of sixth grade, I am not a great cook. I

529
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable working for divorced parents. I don't know how

530
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: to discipline. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't want

531
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: to fly. I'm afraid of flights. So I really dig

532
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: in there and say what is your weakness? No surface

533
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: answers there, and I say listen, people get emotional. It's

534
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: hard to talk about weaknesses. But guess what, people were flawed.

535
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: We all have weaknesses and you don't need to change.

536
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to have a bucket full of strengths.

537
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: Your weaknesses. Embrace them and own them and hire your weakness.

538
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: I I'm not a great cook. Every nanny I hire,

539
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, great, take that off my plate. That is

540
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: my stressing. Yes, And I never want to be a

541
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,479
Speaker 1: great cook. And I am okay with that. I am

542
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: a great appetizer maker, and I'll bake some mean cookies. Okay,

543
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: So it's okay. Just own it. Own it. How can

544
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: parents and nanny's work together in the discipline department? That

545
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: is key? And I always say start with the parents

546
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: or the grown ups in the house first. The grown

547
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 1: ups and the house have to be on the same page.

548
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: So many times nanny's will say to me, Mom came

549
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: home and said, no dessert. This child is going to

550
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: be going to a birthday party. There's a lot of dessert.

551
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,959
Speaker 1: Mom doesn't want any dessert. Dad comes through the kitchen

552
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: and child hangs on the dad's leg. Daddy, I want

553
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: a cookie, Daddy, And this and daddy's like, stopped winding

554
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: him on the cellphone, has a child of cookie, and

555
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: the nanny's like, and the mom walks in at that moment,

556
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: and it's like, did you not comprehend what I was

557
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: putting down? And the nanny's like, oh my gosh. So

558
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: and that's not even discipline, this is just communications. So

559
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: with discipline, I always say, have that first meeting together

560
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: and say what is your style of discipline? Most times

561
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: now parents are gentle parenting. They're not doing time outs,

562
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: they're getting down to the child's level, talking through validating emotions.

563
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: And discipline to me is actually an educational boundary setting word.

564
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: It's not a bad thing. A lot of times people

565
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,719
Speaker 1: use the word discipline as a negative. I don't think

566
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 1: that's a negative. I think discipline is an opportunity to

567
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: teach your child is something new and to have your

568
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: child understand the boundaries in your house. And it's something

569
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: as simple as when we go to our friend's house,

570
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: we don't jump on the couch. And if you're jumping

571
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: on the couch, you know I'm going to ask you

572
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: to stop, or I'm going to help your body down

573
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: from the couch. It's not safe and it's not going

574
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: to be good manners at our friend's house, you know,

575
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: So it disciplin ten to me is just helping. Yeah,

576
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: I completely agree. Um, and you have to make sure

577
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: your nanny is on the same page with whatever your

578
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: style is, you know, like because it is about clarity.

579
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: And you know, it's been a really interesting road, um

580
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: for us. My son when he's acting out, you know,

581
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: he'll come home and my I'll be like, how was

582
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: he and my nanny will be like, he's spicy today. Um,

583
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: but we've got we've got a real you know. Albie

584
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: is a very um, strong, willed, fiery child, and so

585
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: the three of us have had to work very closely,

586
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: um and being on the same page so that he

587
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: is not getting mixed signals from each different person regarding

588
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: what the rules are. You know, I think it's important

589
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 1: to establish the rules as grown ups, but then also

590
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: established the rules in front of the child. Yes, so

591
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: just like that helps give you know, they want to

592
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: know who is the leader and who they can get away,

593
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: whose buttons can they push. So with my nanny, Danielle,

594
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: I always said Danielle's and charge it for the day.

595
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: And if Danielle tells you something, mom is going to

596
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: agree with Danielle, and I'm more of a pushover. I mean,

597
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: I have boundaries and rules, but I learned from her

598
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,479
Speaker 1: because she would set such clear boundaries and not change

599
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: her mind that my kids more often than not responded

600
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: and behaved more in front of her than me, and likewise,

601
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 1: when I was way better when I was. Yeah, what

602
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: are your tips and tricks in keeping communication lines clear

603
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: um between nanny and parents? And also, you know what's

604
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: interesting which we should talk about too, is there's been

605
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: so many times where my nanny and I are really

606
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: raising my kids because Adam has been out of town

607
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: working or he feels like, you know, my husband is

608
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: a very very very involved dad. And I remember when

609
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: it when we first when Miriam first started working, he

610
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 1: was like, why is Miriam not texting me? I should

611
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: be on that chain, you know, like he was pissed,

612
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: Like he was like, excuse me, this isn't like the

613
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 1: you and Miriam are raising our children. There's three of

614
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: us here, and I feel like I'm always on the

615
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: outs and it's always what you and Miriam want because

616
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: me and Miriam really getting the flow, especially in the

617
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 1: months where he's out of town shooting, you know, and

618
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: then he comes back and Miriam and I are like,

619
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Like he missed everything up. We're like

620
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: we're raising what are you doing? You know? So how

621
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: does communication? I mean it ebbs and flows, like all

622
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 1: relationships do. It's really hard. Um, But any trip tips

623
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: or tricks you have I do. Um. This may sound

624
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: a little cheesy, but I do it with my employees

625
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: and I've done it in my house Fridays or my

626
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: happiness check day, Like what's going on, how do we

627
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: feel about the week? Anything we can approve upon, any

628
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: awesome things that you want to talk about, Like I'll

629
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 1: do it over zoom with my team now, or I'll

630
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: just call him out of the blue, Hey, happiness check,

631
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: what's up? How's your Friday going anything? I like to

632
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 1: leave space because then people can't harbor resentment or like

633
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: try to snowball things or stifle it. And I'd rather

634
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: talk about it now than three weeks from now, so

635
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 1: that it's opportunity to chat. Or when my nanny the kids,

636
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: you know, on Fridays, if the kids were sleeping or

637
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 1: at school or what have either playing outside on the swings.

638
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: Hey just checking in. Was there any big moments this week?

639
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 1: You want to discuss anything that's making you unhappy anyway

640
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: I can support you, you know, And also it gives

641
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: voice if I have any concerns, Like you know, this

642
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: week was really successful, but I noticed that it I

643
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 1: don't know, like something didn't go the way that I

644
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 1: had hoped or expected, and I want to have a

645
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: conversation about that. And then in regards to husband's being

646
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: on the checks chain, so I always tell nanny's this,

647
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:20,720
Speaker 1: find out who's involved with what, and this is really key.

648
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: Does your boss want a phone call, a text or

649
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 1: an email? How do you communicate? Yes? How what form

650
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 1: of communication are you? What's apping them? If they're in

651
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,399
Speaker 1: another country? Should you send an email? Should you send

652
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: a text? Um? What text do you want to be on?

653
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: I would say my husband likes to be on the

654
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 1: text if my nanny sends a picture of my kids

655
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 1: doing something cool for the day, but he doesn't want

656
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 1: to be on the text while he's on set, you know,

657
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,399
Speaker 1: filming and getting every message like oh, the gardeners coming, okay, great,

658
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: the dogs here, the kids going here, I'm going here? O,

659
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: can you bring my pump to the office. My husband

660
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,839
Speaker 1: doesn't want to know that. It's actually just more distracting,

661
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,919
Speaker 1: but you better believe it. If I get a pict

662
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 1: sure of one of my kids and he wasn't on that,

663
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: he's like, wait a minute, they went to the zoo,

664
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: they did this, he feels very disconnected. So find out

665
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,959
Speaker 1: what's important to them. And then obviously any chats about

666
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: baiting things like schooling or scheduling, get a Google calendar

667
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: and get everybody in there and color code that. I mean,

668
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's all a work in progress, right,

669
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 1: I mean, my husband doesn't check the darn Google calendar,

670
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: but at least I try. Okay, Oh my god, we

671
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: live and die off our Google calendar. It's in and

672
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 1: it's like, well you didn't put that in the Google calendar,

673
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 1: saying well did you check like regular for me? Are

674
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: there any things that we've forgotten that you would like

675
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: to add? And please? Where can people find you? And

676
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: Educated Nanny? Yes, so I have a website, Educated Nannie's

677
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: dot com. We're on all social media channel you know, Facebook, Instagram.

678
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: You can call me too if you'd like. I'm happy

679
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: to chat um and I just I just want to

680
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: leave parents with two things I guess before I leave

681
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: is one, don't be afraid to ask for help. A

682
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: lot of people don't have family here. I can't tell

683
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: you how many overnights and free care my sister has

684
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: gotten for the eighteen years and with her child because

685
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: my mom was a block and a half away, Like

686
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: that is a gift. That is such a gift. And

687
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,879
Speaker 1: if you don't have family in town or friends, because

688
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: I guess what, your friends are all busy navigating this

689
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: to find help and ask for help. There's nothing wrong

690
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: with asking for help. And also there's nothing wrong with

691
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 1: asking for help if you're not if you don't have

692
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 1: a job and you want to go do some self care,

693
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: or you want to take a nap so you can

694
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 1: show up as the best version of yourself for your

695
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 1: kids or your husband. Get a manicure. I mean my

696
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 1: get a manicure and have a job. And she had

697
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: you know week here and I was like, you know,

698
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: she it was part of her health was to get

699
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 1: in the house and go to a workout class in community.

700
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: She didn't like working out at home. She loved to hike,

701
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: she loved to be outdoors. She didn't want to be

702
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 1: with her kids. When she did that, she really wanted

703
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 1: to manicure. I was like, listen, honey, you're a better

704
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: mom when you have those things, and it's an amazing

705
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: thing that you can afford it. Go for it. Yes,

706
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 1: that's what I say. And the other piece of information

707
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: I want to offer to families going through this process

708
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 1: is give people the benefit of the doubt, not if

709
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 1: it's not a gut check. But sometimes I get calls

710
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 1: for really ridiculous things, like I had a family call

711
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: once and just I just say, your nanny is not

712
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: reading your mind, and they only know what they know

713
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: from the last situation they came in. So I'll say, well,

714
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 1: the nanny put the great knives in the in the dishwasher,

715
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: and does she not know this? I'm like, no, You're

716
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 1: nanny is probably in her twenties and has eaten off

717
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: of plastic forks and came from a family that doesn't

718
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: have money and may not understand etiquette. What a great

719
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: learning opportunity. It's not like she's trying to hurt your

720
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: silverware or we're an all organic family. And this nanny

721
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: was drinking a diet coke. Great, that's a simple conversation.

722
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: Drink your diet, coke in your car, before you come

723
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 1: into work, there might be things that could be easily tweaked.

724
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: And before you end a relationship, and so if the

725
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: relationship is gonna end, it's gonna end. And if there's

726
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: personality conflict, that's not good. You don't want to feel

727
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: like you're walking on eggshells. But if there's a lot

728
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: of times there's small little tweaks you can make when

729
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 1: somebody is going to be really open and receptive and

730
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: learn like this, I completely agree with that relationships take work.

731
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:55,879
Speaker 1: You know, most of the time they should feel easy,

732
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 1: but you're gonna have some bumps in the road and

733
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: just try to have open communication in and you know,

734
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: those are the relationships that flourish. I can tell you

735
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: this nanny's never quit jobs because of children. That is great. Um.

736
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 1: Last question we ask every one of our guests this

737
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 1: parenthood is a beautiful mess. Ryan Jordan's of Educated Nanny's

738
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: and my friend, I am so grateful to know you

739
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful to have been a guest on

740
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: your podcast called The Educated Mama. Right you, It's so

741
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 1: much fun and I just like, I just want to

742
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: wrap you up on goodness, and I can't wait to

743
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 1: have lunch with you. And you're just one of my

744
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: You're one of my people. You're so kind and you're

745
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: so talented, and you're so good at this educated Nannies

746
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: dot Com call Ryan and UM, thank you so much

747
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: for being on Katie's Crib. You're amazing. You're so conversation

748
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: you know, and fun and it's great, like it's awesome, Katie.

749
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. I could talk to you for hours.

750
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 1: Good morning, Welcome back to Katie's Crib. You all listening.

751
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: We have such a treat of a guest today. Oh man,

752
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: the one and only. I have been following this, this

753
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: incredible woman for a long time. She goes by Nanny Connie.

754
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: I wish she was like my nanny. And when I

755
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: say that, I don't mean like for my kids, I

756
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: mean like for me. All listening, let me tell you

757
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 1: a little bit about Nanny Connie first and why she's

758
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: such an amazing get for us and why she is

759
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:53,720
Speaker 1: so knowledgeable on speaking from the nanny perspective and about

760
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: um childcare. So. Connie Simpson or Nanny Connie, is a

761
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,919
Speaker 1: family and chi care expert, coach and consultant. She has

762
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: over thirty years of experience equipping parents and empowering nanny's

763
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: to be their best for their families. Nanny Connie is

764
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: a proud product of the Deep South, where she learned

765
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: the importance of manners, wisdom, compassion, love, and patience in abundance.

766
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 1: These values have made her one of the most in

767
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 1: demand baby nurses and a trusted family member. Too many

768
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 1: Hollywood celebrities let me just like run you down the list.

769
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: It's like Jessica Bield, Justin Timberlake, Emily Blended, John Krasinski, Brookshields,

770
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 1: Amal and George Clooney. What Nanny Connie has made appearances

771
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: on like so many popular media platforms to offer her

772
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: advice like Good Morning America, The tamarn Hall Show, Today Parents,

773
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: Good Morning Britain, etcetera, etcetera. She's global everybody. She's the

774
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 1: author of The Nanny Connie Way, which is a baby

775
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: manual that has become the go to guide for first

776
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 1: time parents, and her book gives parents to support and

777
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 1: affirmation that they need to be the best they can

778
00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: be for their families. Welcome to Katie's Crib. Nanny Connie,

779
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 1: I love your crib. Thank you so much for being here.

780
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: Thank you darling, thank you for having me. Oh my pleasure.

781
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 1: Can you share with our audience how you started your

782
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: nanny journey from taking care of your daughter Courtney up

783
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 1: until now working with celebrity parents. Well, actually, it's like

784
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: when it's your calling and you try to run from it,

785
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: it will always catch up with you. You know. You

786
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: can go in many different directions, but it's like the

787
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 1: Marvel stretch and all that ship seems to always pop

788
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: right back to what it was. And that's me. That's

789
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 1: where my nanny journey came from. Um. I went to

790
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: school for early childhood education, and you know, I thought,

791
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 1: oh I'll do this, I'll do that. But I did

792
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, but mastered in none of it.

793
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,720
Speaker 1: But then I found out I was ma stirring something

794
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 1: that was so important and important to the family. And

795
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: that was like you started off saying, I wish you

796
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: were my nanny, you know, and that's what a lot

797
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 1: of my parents have said, you know, damn my children,

798
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: I just need you for me, you know. And I

799
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,319
Speaker 1: get it, I really get it, because you know when

800
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: I when I am there for you, I'm there for

801
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: your child because your child feeds off of your energy,

802
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: so it makes the whole house much more cohesive. So

803
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: I started off, um, taking care of my baby dolls

804
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: first of all. Then I went to school for early childhood.

805
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: Then I had my daughter, and then I said, you

806
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 1: know what, and having Courtney, no one's gonna take care

807
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: of her because that's my responsibility. Although I had a

808
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 1: phenomenal village of my aunts and my mom and you know,

809
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 1: my cousins and my grandparents. I was so blessed. I

810
00:45:54,920 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: was so blessed. Um. And Um, she she wanted for love.

811
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 1: You know, I was a single parent, but she didn't.

812
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: She didn't want for any love because where one would

813
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: slow down, the other one would pick her up. Ah,

814
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: that is the dream. So you really grew up with

815
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: the village taking care and helping raise the baby. And

816
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: I it's so bizarre to me that we live in

817
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,919
Speaker 1: this time where a lot of us are very very

818
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: far due to work or life takes us places that

819
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:34,919
Speaker 1: are very far from our family. Um. That's definitely my case. Um.

820
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 1: And it was a huge adjustment to sort of understand

821
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: that I'm going to be raising my children with also

822
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: someone who is a paid employee, you know, because that's

823
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: not how I was raised. So it is. It is

824
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 1: a very interesting, wild relationship. We're going to get into

825
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: all of that. So so um my next question is

826
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: do you think it's harder taking care of other people

827
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: rules children or your own child? Courtney, I think it's

828
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: much easier taking care of other people's children. I agree, Yes,

829
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: I agree. And people ask me this all the time

830
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,760
Speaker 1: and like, as a nanny, weren't you just so prepared

831
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 1: when you had your own child? And I was like, honestly, no,

832
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 1: I don't know why. But for all of you listening,

833
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 1: there's this weird thing where my kids save up all

834
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 1: their shenanigans for me. They rarely pull that ship with

835
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 1: the babysitter or are or are nanny Miriam. Um, so

836
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:41,439
Speaker 1: that's already inherently hard. Also, you do there is an

837
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: end date when you are a nanny. You do have

838
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: a shift which may end at seven pm, seven am whenever.

839
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 1: That is where you sort of collect yourself when you

840
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:55,439
Speaker 1: are you're a mom. It doesn't stop. It does even

841
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: when you're away and you're working. I'm thinking about the kids.

842
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with all the logistics. Were they fed when's

843
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: that doctor's appointment? Did they learn how to swim today?

844
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,439
Speaker 1: Are they sick? Or was that a running nose? Should

845
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: I go get them COVID tested? I mean, it is endless,

846
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: It's endless. It really okay, So you hear it up

847
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: here first, because people always ask me that question as

848
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 1: being a nanny and a mother, which one was harder?

849
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: And I'm glad you and I agree on that, because

850
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: your your children will put you in a place that

851
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: they'll they'll check you without knowing that they check you

852
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: because you're already on this emotional roller coaster of the

853
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: checklist of everything you've done right, are done wrong, and

854
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: your second guessing you know your ability to be that

855
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 1: mom and be the best mom you can be, And

856
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: then your children come at you and they say something

857
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: that just pierces your heart and your soul because you

858
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 1: were okay, I know I could have done better, you know,

859
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: or or I did my best, or you are already

860
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: in that state of mind, and then they came back

861
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 1: to solidify that damn you know I could have stepped

862
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 1: to the plate in different way. So yes, your children

863
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 1: always seem to check you. Oh there you're there's my

864
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: son is my biggest trigger in the world for me.

865
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: We are not oil and vinegar. I don't like to

866
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: say that, because we do also wildly get along. But

867
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 1: he has the ability to push my buttons in a

868
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 1: way that I've never had before, let alone. I've never

869
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: let anyone speak to me the way he speaks to me.

870
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: Sometimes he's a slither of you. Oh my, Yes, it's

871
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,479
Speaker 1: the slither of you that you never thought would come

872
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 1: to a realization or standing in front of you, but

873
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: it does come to. And that's what I try to

874
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: teach my parents. It's like you try to figure out

875
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 1: these little beans that lay in front of you, and

876
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: it's like, hello, look in the mirror, because that's you,

877
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 1: that's you lying there, you know, And and it's gonna

878
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: grow up and have a voice, and guess what, it's

879
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 1: gonna give you back everything in ten times fold that

880
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 1: you gave your parents. You know. It comes from both

881
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: beings of it. Yeah, it's the slip other of you

882
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,720
Speaker 1: that you've You're like, oh, my achilles heel has finally

883
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 1: woken up and it has a right. That's exactly it. Um.

884
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: How tips for parents who are working with a nanny,

885
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 1: How can you make the most of your nannie when

886
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: they come over to work with your children who are

887
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 1: older than newborns. Like, let's say you have a nanny

888
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: and your kids are toddlers, are like a little bit older.

889
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 1: What is your advice and tips for parents to really

890
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: make the most of that time and sort of set boundaries.

891
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:31,280
Speaker 1: I think it's really important. Although I I my book

892
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 1: is only the first four months, but there's a huge

893
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 1: connection between the first four months in the fifteen the

894
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 1: eleven to seventeen year old child, because they are they

895
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 1: are dealing with boundaries that they don't know what they

896
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: held to do with them, and they're trying to to

897
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: puff themselves up to say I do know, I do

898
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 1: have control, you know, because they're under the peer pressure

899
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 1: and they're under the realization that my parents are leaving

900
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 1: me in control of something. But I don't understand it.

901
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 1: But I want to. I want to have more independence,

902
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: So I have to act a certain way so I

903
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,479
Speaker 1: can get that independence to hang out with these kids

904
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: who give me that peer pressure. So I think between

905
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 1: that mom and that nanny, you really have to have

906
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: a huge connection with each other and understand that communication

907
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: is the baseline for all of this. You know, and

908
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: you have to hear the things that the nanny are

909
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: saying to you. You know, Um, it's a once a

910
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: week meeting of sitting down and and not putting your

911
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,359
Speaker 1: feelings on your shoulders to say, that's my kid I've

912
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: raised until eleven and I know, but you don't know

913
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: because you're eleven year old. Will hide stuff from you

914
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: because they're in fear that you will either push them

915
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,280
Speaker 1: back and say, well, you can't go out with your friends,

916
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,720
Speaker 1: or the judgment that will come from you. So they'll

917
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,800
Speaker 1: talk to that nanny. You know, they have a better

918
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,799
Speaker 1: end with someone who comes from the outside. So it's

919
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: important for you and that nanny to have a weekly

920
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 1: or every two week meeting. Wow, So you suggest do

921
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: you do this in your households too, even with little ones,

922
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 1: that you have a weekly set meeting with the parents

923
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:24,520
Speaker 1: without the children present. Yes, and what is on the

924
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,879
Speaker 1: agenda of that meeting. It can actually be like to

925
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: touch base to say, you know, she retreats to her

926
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 1: room every evening at five o'clock. We don't have to

927
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 1: worry about her, but she's in her room and the

928
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: nanny may have more information like, yeah, she goes in

929
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 1: her room because you and dad are doing stuff and

930
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear what she's saying, or you've

931
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 1: dismissed her. So that once a week meeting gives you

932
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: to touch base or to figure out where how your

933
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 1: children are truly feeling, you know, or to say, here

934
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: is the situation. Let's not play each other against each

935
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 1: other in the situation. Let's use each other for to support.

936
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 1: We are not against each other. We are trying to

937
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:11,839
Speaker 1: raise a decent, loving human together. Right and now will

938
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: make your nanny stay longer, that your nanny feel more supported.

939
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 1: That will take that edge off of where I grew

940
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: up with my mom and my aunts and my grandparents

941
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 1: helping me with Courtney and me being having to swallow

942
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 1: my pride and accept the things that they were saying

943
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: to me. Now you you have that same connection with

944
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,320
Speaker 1: someone that you're paying to be in your home because

945
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: they feel that comfort and they feel that support. A

946
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: lot of nanny's don't walk in that grace because they

947
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 1: don't feel that support. So that's an interesting Yeah. You

948
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: know what's funny. I my one of my long time

949
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: I was in nanny for this lovely girl fifteen years

950
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 1: seventeen years ago something at her I was the first

951
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 1: call her mom called me. Now I had already been

952
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:01,959
Speaker 1: on scandal. We're working, but we're still in each other's

953
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 1: lives as friends. What was really cool about finally someone

954
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 1: taking a chance on me as an actress is that

955
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 1: all the little people that I was nannying for at

956
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 1: the time or babysitting for, like instead of working for anywhere,

957
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 1: I would take them out to lunch or a fun

958
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:20,840
Speaker 1: day or whatever. But those moms um one mom in

959
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 1: particular called me when her daughter was getting like sexually active,

960
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 1: and and she was like, can you hang out with her?

961
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: And just I don't want to know, I don't need

962
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 1: to know, like that's her private stuff, but can you

963
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 1: just judge that she is being safe and being you know,

964
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: and feeling good about her choices and understands. And I

965
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, Okay, yeah, Like I'll see

966
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: if she wants to confide in me, and I'll take

967
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: her out to dinner and stuff like that and ask

968
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: her some questions like do you have a boyfriend, Like

969
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 1: are you happy? What are your friends up to? And

970
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 1: she confided in me so much. And I never told

971
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:58,879
Speaker 1: her mom, but I just called her and I said,

972
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 1: you've got nothing that she's doing every she's happy, she's

973
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: in control of her body, she knows what's going on.

974
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: And I was really like proud of that. But well,

975
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 1: again it was an example of us working in tandem

976
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: to parent this this young adult. Really, that's right, they're

977
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 1: only a child once, and that that childhood is pretty

978
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:25,280
Speaker 1: much over with by the fifth grade, because they've started

979
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:28,439
Speaker 1: into puberty. They started, you know, they started dealing with

980
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,839
Speaker 1: the six questions. They started sounds like a nightmare. Yeah,

981
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,720
Speaker 1: it really is, it really is. And and the further,

982
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: you know, by the seventh grade, you know, they really

983
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 1: feel like, as my grandmother saying, they're starting to really

984
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 1: smell themselves. And they are smelling themselves because they start

985
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 1: I love that saying, you know, I love that saying,

986
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 1: that's the funnies they've ever heard about. And then by

987
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 1: the time that they're teenagers, they're getting like, well, when

988
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 1: you're seventeen and eighteen, your parents don't you're an adult,

989
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,839
Speaker 1: you know, And and and here we live in this

990
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 1: world where a team gives them an opportunity to tell

991
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 1: you to rotate on their middle finger. But when they

992
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 1: don't have any any sense at all of what to do,

993
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,919
Speaker 1: you know, so it's really important to to pour as

994
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 1: much as you can into that foundation so that it

995
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 1: is solidified. And then when you come into middle school,

996
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: now you can kind of you can coast a little bit,

997
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:27,799
Speaker 1: but then you can also be there for them so

998
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,839
Speaker 1: that they will feel comfortable coming to you to have

999
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 1: those conversations. You know. This is like with Courtney, my

1000
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 1: home was the home base because I wanted to see

1001
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 1: all of her friends. Oh, I'm definitely gonna beat. My

1002
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 1: house was like that growing up to you were like

1003
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: this the snack house. Like my mom always had like

1004
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 1: the good stuff to eat that was like Kudos bars,

1005
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 1: and like my mom was you know, we were the

1006
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: sleepover house. And I'm like oh, because she wanted to

1007
00:56:52,239 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 1: know what was going on. I think we've heard on

1008
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 1: this podcast a lot from a lot of experts about

1009
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: that the values that your family upholds, that are things

1010
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 1: that could be literally written on the kitchen table right

1011
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: like whatever those things are to you, like be kind

1012
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 1: or in my household, it's like we always have your

1013
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 1: brother sisters back, like we are a team unit here,

1014
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 1: you know, Like, um, but I do think and I

1015
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: see this with a lot of friends. There's just a

1016
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: lot of scheduling of stuff. And this is that one

1017
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: percent where it's like they go from school to eight

1018
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: thousand other things, and that I think maybe make some

1019
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: moms feel like they're succeeding, yes, keeping them busy, keeping

1020
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: them out of trouble, and keeping them busy, when when

1021
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: actually and all actuality, you're pushing them away from you

1022
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 1: because you're going, well, they have this and they have

1023
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 1: that after school. So you know, we all have a

1024
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 1: busy schedule, but did you have that connection? Did you

1025
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 1: have that the humanity of being together? And we as

1026
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 1: humans need that connection. We do. We we sit down

1027
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 1: with our our partners and our spouses and we want

1028
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: the cuddles, we want the hugs, we want our feet rub.

1029
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 1: It's then doorfin that releases that makes us feel good.

1030
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: It makes us feel you know, responsible, It makes us

1031
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: feel wanted, It makes us feel something, as opposed to

1032
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 1: a a class that you go to that makes you

1033
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,560
Speaker 1: feel nothing. So that kitchen table is so important, you know,

1034
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 1: because you gain more from that kitchen table other than

1035
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 1: the food that you eat that nourishes your body. You

1036
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:51,000
Speaker 1: you get your soul nourish. I love hearing this, I

1037
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: really I love hearing this. When to add to the

1038
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 1: weekly nanny parent meeting and really supporting each other and

1039
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 1: realizing that you guys are a team and it's not like, oh,

1040
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 1: you know, there's no pitting against each other. If you

1041
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 1: are are the authority figure, you are the parent, you

1042
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: are the employer. What are the effective ways where parents

1043
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 1: and nanni's can take a unified stance so that both

1044
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 1: authority figures maintain credibility in the parents eyes. I was

1045
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: reading this um in your book, in Nanny Connie's book,

1046
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: The Nanny Connie Way. Get it now, folks, brookshields daughter Rowan.

1047
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 1: She tried to be sneaky and she asked both Brooke

1048
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: and you if she could hold her younger sister greer,

1049
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 1: and rather than say yes, for example, Brooke asked Rowan

1050
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 1: what you said first, which is just an example of again,

1051
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: not only do you have to be a unified front

1052
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 1: if there's a spouse or a partner involved, but you

1053
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: do have to be a unified force with the child

1054
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 1: care expert or whoever you're employing. Here's the deal. A

1055
00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:01,919
Speaker 1: child will try so many from ways to see how

1056
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 1: they can get out that front door. If if walking

1057
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 1: out that front door it's not accessible to them. They're

1058
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,919
Speaker 1: gonna see if that window next to the front door

1059
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: is open, and if they can slither out of it

1060
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 1: or whatever they can do to get out of it,

1061
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 1: They're gonna try it because that's them. That's they don't

1062
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: know any better, and that's what they do. That's what

1063
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,480
Speaker 1: children do. We did it, you know, so we always

1064
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,439
Speaker 1: think that we have that upper hand. So it's so

1065
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,960
Speaker 1: important for as opposed to just having that weekly meeting,

1066
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 1: is to make this team, you know, so connected by

1067
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 1: telling your nanny, let's let's go to target and go shopping,

1068
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 1: you know, and then you have that camaraderie of talking

1069
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: about you know, um like rolling, rolling and wanted to

1070
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 1: hold the baby. But then I get to hear my

1071
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: nanny and and her philosophy on how she talks to

1072
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 1: the children. So now I get to add to what

1073
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 1: she's saying or to say to her, well, let's say

1074
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 1: it this way, you know, so that when you get it,

1075
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 1: then I know I'm going to get the other end

1076
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 1: of it, and then we can both be on the

1077
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: same page. That's what you're having to do let's put

1078
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 1: it to that support staff that's going to help you

1079
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 1: think that process all the way out. And that's a nanny,

1080
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 1: that's a team player, that's you know, that's someone in

1081
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 1: your church that you've you said, okay, you know what,

1082
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 1: can you help me two or three days a week.

1083
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: Let's make them feel great about who they are and

1084
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 1: what they have to give. And then let's work together

1085
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 1: and weave this this cloth, this blanket, this eternal piece

1086
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 1: of connection that will help my child be something, to

1087
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:50,640
Speaker 1: give something positive back to the universe. We all, I think,

1088
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: are trying collectively as nanny's in the nanny field, parents,

1089
01:01:57,200 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 1: people who are really taking on this responsibility seriously. I mean,

1090
01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 1: I think our goal is just trying to make the

1091
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,439
Speaker 1: world better than where we left it, and right now

1092
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:13,040
Speaker 1: we are failing miserably. UM. And I'm just praying that

1093
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 1: all these lessons from the brilliant nanny Connie and all

1094
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 1: the other experts we've had on Katie's crib can help

1095
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 1: my little corner of the sky. Um. Some quick questions, UM,

1096
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 1: that came in. Lots of questions. Everybody wants to know

1097
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 1: what tips do you have in regard to overnight potty training. Okay,

1098
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 1: So potty training is um I always say, I haven't

1099
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,680
Speaker 1: seen a nine or ten year old that that needs

1100
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 1: to be potty trained. It's gonna happen. So first of all,

1101
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 1: take yourself out of that that pool of people to say,

1102
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 1: my my child was potty trained at eighteen months or

1103
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 1: my child was potty trained in two years. Potty training

1104
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 1: is something that's um so personal. Well, and your child,

1105
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 1: when they are ready, they will come. It's not going

1106
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,920
Speaker 1: to be the stress that you think it's going to be.

1107
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: Ten days is basically where I tell my parents, and

1108
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 1: it's usually around three years old that I tell my

1109
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,960
Speaker 1: parents too, because they can articulate their words, they can

1110
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 1: have this conversation, they can understand what you're asking of them. So,

1111
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:27,160
Speaker 1: so now when you get to that position, because pooping

1112
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 1: is going to be the last thing that they do,

1113
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 1: because that's like they're losing a part of their body.

1114
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 1: They're scared. They never they are basically saying they're scared shitless.

1115
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 1: So what do you have to do is you have

1116
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 1: to say, you know what, We've mastered this end of it.

1117
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,280
Speaker 1: It's okay, I'm with you. When it comes to pooping.

1118
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 1: You want to put your diaper on, So when you're

1119
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:52,880
Speaker 1: ready to poop, tell me. So now they don't feel

1120
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:55,959
Speaker 1: like they're a failure. They don't feel like my mom

1121
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: is gonna be mad at me because I didn't poop here,

1122
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 1: you know. So now you're making them comfortable and you're

1123
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 1: giving them the security and you're helping them with their

1124
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 1: confidence of doing this this part of their life. So

1125
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:10,040
Speaker 1: they'll come up and go, yo, mom, I I need

1126
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 1: to go poop. So they'll put their diaper on. They're

1127
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 1: gonna stand in the corner, you know, and when they're finished,

1128
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 1: they say, just tell me. When you're finished, we'll go

1129
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 1: to the pot and we'll dump it and then come

1130
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 1: out and go okay. So now they are really confident.

1131
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 1: So now when it comes to overnight potty training, it's like, okay,

1132
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,520
Speaker 1: so we're ready to go to bed. We start to

1133
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,280
Speaker 1: talk about okay, nine o'clock is your last water or

1134
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: seven o'clock is your last water, you know, And then

1135
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 1: you come in and you tap them and say, let's

1136
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 1: walk to the party at eleven o'clock before you go

1137
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 1: to bed. So you're making them void. You're helping them

1138
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 1: to empty that bladder before they you know, have to

1139
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 1: go all from seven to seven. Oh, I couldn't even

1140
01:04:56,200 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 1: going exactly. So now you're telling you're helping them, you're

1141
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 1: helping them to understand the process. Is this a lot? Hell? Yes,

1142
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 1: but life is a lot, and you're building their self esteem.

1143
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 1: So the overnight potty training is a parent has to

1144
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 1: walk in that room at eleven and help them go

1145
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,200
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, then put them back in the bed,

1146
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 1: and then they have to wake up a little earlier

1147
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 1: at six in the morning to help them avoid so

1148
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:28,400
Speaker 1: because if they sleep a little late, then they, yeah,

1149
01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 1: they may have accident. And then they feel like a

1150
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 1: failure because man, I've got to tell my mom about

1151
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 1: this bed. I'm gonna lie about this. So now you're

1152
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 1: sitting the wheels in motion for feeling the shame fare

1153
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 1: there you go. And also you feel like a failure.

1154
01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 1: I can remember how like I remember potty training my

1155
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:54,240
Speaker 1: son and we had the amazing UM go wacky on

1156
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 1: here who wrote the oh crap book? That was very

1157
01:05:56,880 --> 01:06:00,160
Speaker 1: very helpful. She's been on Katie's crib. But like, the

1158
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 1: biggest thing is you are not a failure as a parent.

1159
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 1: None of this is a big deal. Um any tips

1160
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 1: on having siblings get a long share. I read that

1161
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 1: you have um you worked for a family who had

1162
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 1: a two year old boy named Tyler. This was in

1163
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 1: your book. Uh, and the baby sister came home and

1164
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 1: Tyler told you like, I thank you forgot something, which

1165
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 1: is exactly what happened to my my mom when she

1166
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,120
Speaker 1: brought home my baby brother were two years and nine

1167
01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:29,920
Speaker 1: months apart, and she brought him home from the hospital,

1168
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:32,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't want this one. Can

1169
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 1: you bring him back now? It's it's really important to UM.

1170
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 1: We when we started having like a lot of my

1171
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: parents say to me, UM, They'll they'll come with their

1172
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:48,960
Speaker 1: second child and go, I've had children before. No no, no,

1173
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: no no. Yes, you may have had a child before,

1174
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 1: but you haven't had two children, or you haven't had

1175
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: three children. Because the dynamics of that household changes with

1176
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:02,959
Speaker 1: each old. So it's really important for you to pour

1177
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,560
Speaker 1: instead of pouring into that infant who only wants their

1178
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 1: diaper change and to be fed at a certain time

1179
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 1: and to be swaddled and put back down, it's really

1180
01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:15,560
Speaker 1: important for you to to pour into that three year

1181
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: old who's mastering potty training, sleep training. Moved moved from

1182
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,840
Speaker 1: their bed to their crib, from their crib to their bed,

1183
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:26,640
Speaker 1: because they have to give up something for this new

1184
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 1: person who comes in and now they feel less than

1185
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:33,960
Speaker 1: So you have to start with the older one as

1186
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 1: opposed to starting with the baby. And that's where a

1187
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 1: lot of people get lost in the sauce of parenting

1188
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:44,240
Speaker 1: because they feel like, you know, I did all of this,

1189
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:47,040
Speaker 1: like they plan all of this stuff out before the

1190
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 1: baby comes, like getting the room together, I'm gonna potty

1191
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 1: train him, I'm gonna take him out, the pacifier in

1192
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:57,920
Speaker 1: the bottle. You know. Yes, so your life is is,

1193
01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: but you've done nothing more. Then set yourself up for

1194
01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 1: failure because your child will have this regression of wow,

1195
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I had to give all this up

1196
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 1: for this person to come, so I'm gonna hate them

1197
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 1: even more, you know, instead of feeling secure even more. Yeah,

1198
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 1: I don't remember what expert came on here that basically

1199
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:23,840
Speaker 1: was like, you should make no big changes within three

1200
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 1: months at least of the baby coming. All right, Natty

1201
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:31,519
Speaker 1: Connie says six, So you should. So it's not like, oh,

1202
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 1: I'm having a second baby and the baby comes and

1203
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 1: now is the time to like put your kid in daycare,

1204
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 1: or put your older in preschool, or get them out

1205
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:41,679
Speaker 1: of the crib into the big kid bet or put

1206
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 1: them on the potty or whatever. It's like, just keep

1207
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 1: things status quo and just deal with the change of

1208
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:51,600
Speaker 1: adding a new member to your family. That's right, and

1209
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 1: that helps with the cohesiveness of those children because now

1210
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,200
Speaker 1: they start to love this person as opposed to go

1211
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:03,640
Speaker 1: and oh, hey, lady, you forgot something. That's kind of situation,

1212
01:09:03,720 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 1: which he did to me. You know, it was like

1213
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,920
Speaker 1: the baby was cool because I was taking care of

1214
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:11,240
Speaker 1: the baby and and you know, mom was kind of

1215
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:14,559
Speaker 1: like still driving with him, you know. And I would

1216
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:16,519
Speaker 1: bring him in and I would let him peer into

1217
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 1: the bed and I would talk about his sister, you know.

1218
01:09:19,160 --> 01:09:21,599
Speaker 1: I made him a part of the process. But then

1219
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:23,599
Speaker 1: when I was ready to go, he was like, Okay,

1220
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,439
Speaker 1: you've done really good with this little person, So why

1221
01:09:26,439 --> 01:09:28,880
Speaker 1: don't you take this little person on the home with

1222
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:31,400
Speaker 1: you as opposed to leaving it with me, you know,

1223
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 1: because my world is super fine and I don't need

1224
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:39,479
Speaker 1: anything different, you know. So it's really important for you

1225
01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:45,960
Speaker 1: to have your your village to to keep things consistent.

1226
01:09:46,120 --> 01:09:48,840
Speaker 1: Let them come over and help with the baby, and

1227
01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 1: mom gets in the in the nitty gritty with that

1228
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:55,520
Speaker 1: older one and make them a part of the process,

1229
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:59,439
Speaker 1: like reading and changing the diaper and when she's feeding.

1230
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 1: It's much as you can bring them together, those little

1231
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:07,560
Speaker 1: driplets will add up to those siblings loving and supporting

1232
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 1: each other more as opposed to dividing. You know, like

1233
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 1: you say, dividing conquer. No no, no, no no. We

1234
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:17,200
Speaker 1: don't want to divide too much. We want them to

1235
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 1: be as much as you can have them together so

1236
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 1: that they see that this is our new life. I

1237
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,519
Speaker 1: think that was another blessing of the code of the

1238
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: pandemic was like we brought my daughter home November two,

1239
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:36,680
Speaker 1: and so much of the pandemic has been that my

1240
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 1: children only have each other because we weren't really letting

1241
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 1: outside people in and so that's been great for their growing.

1242
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:47,680
Speaker 1: What are your tips and tricks for like them not

1243
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:52,720
Speaker 1: sharing toys and things like that. I think that um

1244
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:56,719
Speaker 1: in the very beginning, when you start to see this happen,

1245
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:01,920
Speaker 1: it takes a nan or a parent to sit down

1246
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:05,080
Speaker 1: with them to share, to show them how to share.

1247
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: If it's an older one who's not wanting them to

1248
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:12,240
Speaker 1: have their younger one to play with them. Then you

1249
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,960
Speaker 1: have to show them, um, how to play together, you know,

1250
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:18,719
Speaker 1: like let's show your sister how to put this in

1251
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:22,479
Speaker 1: and then give them the praise showing them that yeah,

1252
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,400
Speaker 1: you did it. You know, like this this can be

1253
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 1: something really good. So it's really important for you as

1254
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:31,639
Speaker 1: a parent as opposed to sitting them down and saying

1255
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:34,439
Speaker 1: you two have to play together, well, hell, how do

1256
01:11:34,479 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 1: we play together? You know, we have to have some

1257
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:40,479
Speaker 1: kind of instructions on how this is to work. And

1258
01:11:40,479 --> 01:11:42,920
Speaker 1: then you say, when you play together with your sister,

1259
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:45,920
Speaker 1: you get to have fifteen minutes of playing with it

1260
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:49,520
Speaker 1: by yourself, you know, so that they learned that, Okay,

1261
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:52,599
Speaker 1: I can play with her, but I also can have

1262
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:56,759
Speaker 1: this time to myself, and then coming to me and saying, mom,

1263
01:11:56,800 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 1: can I have fifteen minutes to play by myself at slutely?

1264
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:03,720
Speaker 1: You can because you did it with the care and

1265
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:08,040
Speaker 1: understanding that I need this independent play. But I will

1266
01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 1: play with my sister or I will play with my brother.

1267
01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:14,160
Speaker 1: We have to give them that so they learn their

1268
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:20,400
Speaker 1: social skills if they're not, it's so important. I I

1269
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:24,639
Speaker 1: started doing monastory teaching in the very beginning, before Courtney

1270
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:28,679
Speaker 1: was even born. But I loved it because it taught

1271
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 1: a child how to be social, how to care, how

1272
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 1: to share, and that's important in this day and time.

1273
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:41,600
Speaker 1: That foundational piece goes a long way in their preteens

1274
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:45,240
Speaker 1: and their teens and their adulthood. It's so funny. My daughter,

1275
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,640
Speaker 1: and she's one and a half. She has like I

1276
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:50,760
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe twenty words or something like that, and

1277
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 1: one of them is mine, and I'm like, I'm like,

1278
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:56,840
Speaker 1: this is such a class. She's the youngest and my

1279
01:12:56,880 --> 01:13:00,880
Speaker 1: son is more and a half, and they played together wonderfully,

1280
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,559
Speaker 1: and then sometimes they're fighting tooth and nail over a

1281
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:06,519
Speaker 1: fucking toy and she's screaming and he's screaming he had

1282
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:10,000
Speaker 1: it first. She's taking it and going mine, and I'm like,

1283
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,040
Speaker 1: get it, girl, I'm like get it. I'm like, you're

1284
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:16,120
Speaker 1: the baby in this family and you gotta like stand

1285
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 1: up for yourself, like go get yours, honey, like you

1286
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:21,559
Speaker 1: want it too. I see you both wanted let's figure

1287
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:23,840
Speaker 1: this out. Okay, you can have it for five minutes,

1288
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,439
Speaker 1: and then you can have it for five minutes and

1289
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:27,680
Speaker 1: then it's over. And they like don't even want it

1290
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:30,040
Speaker 1: any anymore. And they go play with something else, right,

1291
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:31,960
Speaker 1: and and and the other thing you do is you

1292
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 1: put the toy in time out. You don't put the

1293
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,920
Speaker 1: child in time out. You go, okay, toy is bringing

1294
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,880
Speaker 1: lots of conflict. There's a lot of energy around this toy.

1295
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:43,920
Speaker 1: So you know what, the the toys get the time out.

1296
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,920
Speaker 1: Let's play with something else. Oh that's a great idea,

1297
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:51,600
Speaker 1: A great idea you mentioned from the podcast Squats and Margarita's.

1298
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:54,120
Speaker 1: This is so important, y'all that the tone of voice

1299
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:58,120
Speaker 1: and consistently meaning business for a while is the main

1300
01:13:58,160 --> 01:13:59,840
Speaker 1: way that your kids can respect and listen to you.

1301
01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:03,479
Speaker 1: My son does not respect me. What are some what

1302
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:06,280
Speaker 1: are some specific scenarios where you can try the right

1303
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:11,080
Speaker 1: tone and like the meaning business out you know, uh,

1304
01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:14,600
Speaker 1: so that the kids listen more. I think it all happened.

1305
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 1: It all happens in that foundation at home. You have

1306
01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:22,840
Speaker 1: to get on their level, like you have to explain

1307
01:14:23,120 --> 01:14:28,400
Speaker 1: and is less words again, less is best your expectations,

1308
01:14:28,920 --> 01:14:33,120
Speaker 1: you know. And then when they are when you see

1309
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:36,120
Speaker 1: that they are hearing, when they're listening, they need eye contact.

1310
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:40,120
Speaker 1: Your tone of voice needs to change when it's becoming

1311
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 1: much more serious than what it was. And then they go, WHOA,

1312
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:47,400
Speaker 1: mom has just moved to another level. I need to

1313
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 1: figure out what's going on with this person, you know,

1314
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:54,439
Speaker 1: And and it puts that fear that you want to

1315
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:58,200
Speaker 1: help them to be respectful to something that could either

1316
01:14:58,520 --> 01:15:02,680
Speaker 1: this this life changing to them. So, um a scenario

1317
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:05,679
Speaker 1: at home, it's like putting your hand on the stove.

1318
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 1: The stove is hot. You know, we do not touch

1319
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:14,520
Speaker 1: a hot stove. You're in their face, you have eye contact.

1320
01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:18,000
Speaker 1: This will hurt you. And then when they come closer

1321
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 1: to it, it's a no, sir, this is a very

1322
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:26,880
Speaker 1: hot stove. Whoa daddy, Connie? That is good? What's the

1323
01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:29,920
Speaker 1: next level? Yes, so you moved to the next level.

1324
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:34,000
Speaker 1: Because that hot stove can also be moving traffic. That

1325
01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:37,960
Speaker 1: hot stove can be the life in depth situation of

1326
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:41,759
Speaker 1: someone picking them up when you said to stand right here.

1327
01:15:42,240 --> 01:15:45,040
Speaker 1: So it's important for them to know when mom snapped

1328
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:49,480
Speaker 1: her finger or she gave me that look, she meant business.

1329
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:54,559
Speaker 1: So you have to find your business look, your business voice,

1330
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 1: and then you know that no, that wasn't my child,

1331
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:01,640
Speaker 1: because now you're your child. I was best advocate and

1332
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:05,640
Speaker 1: first advocate. Do you have like my husband? So I

1333
01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:08,720
Speaker 1: don't know why they fear him more than I do.

1334
01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 1: I think every household, if you do have a household

1335
01:16:11,479 --> 01:16:16,400
Speaker 1: where there's parenting multiple forms, you know, whether it's the

1336
01:16:16,479 --> 01:16:21,760
Speaker 1: nanny too, you know, married couple, whatever it is. Um,

1337
01:16:21,760 --> 01:16:26,080
Speaker 1: my husband's mean business like this means business voice is

1338
01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 1: far more effective than mine, Like it sucks. Um, I

1339
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:37,920
Speaker 1: reserve a huge no for something dangerous, whether it is

1340
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:41,160
Speaker 1: a stove, we're running into a street, or he's going

1341
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:43,599
Speaker 1: to really hurt his sister's body or something, or they're

1342
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:47,040
Speaker 1: playing in the bathtub and you know, I'm getting you know,

1343
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,839
Speaker 1: if something is dangerous, it's a huge and they respond

1344
01:16:50,880 --> 01:16:53,760
Speaker 1: to that. But my and I've really mastered the like

1345
01:16:54,200 --> 01:16:56,559
Speaker 1: are you kidding me? Look? Like the look that's like

1346
01:16:56,880 --> 01:16:59,479
Speaker 1: do you want to reconsider how you just spoke to

1347
01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:03,559
Speaker 1: me as it is disrespectful and rude? Or did we

1348
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 1: really just make our sister cry and pushed her over?

1349
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:10,000
Speaker 1: Like is that? Like? Uh? Now, my husband is if

1350
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 1: he's you're right, less is more. He says fewer words,

1351
01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:18,200
Speaker 1: there's less talking. His sternness and directness of his voice

1352
01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:21,719
Speaker 1: is far quicker to be responded to, what the hell

1353
01:17:21,960 --> 01:17:26,080
Speaker 1: why it's not fair? You know what it is? I

1354
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:31,920
Speaker 1: really I'm seeing more of it and and there's nothing

1355
01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:37,120
Speaker 1: against it. But I really feel like gentle parenting has

1356
01:17:37,479 --> 01:17:43,920
Speaker 1: made parents put the kabash on on using that that

1357
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:49,000
Speaker 1: sternness with their children. Besides all the other stuff of

1358
01:17:49,160 --> 01:17:53,360
Speaker 1: gifting our children everything, you know, and making them feel like,

1359
01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:56,559
Speaker 1: but I'm supposed to have, but you need to give

1360
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,160
Speaker 1: this to me. But my friends got it and I

1361
01:17:59,200 --> 01:18:01,639
Speaker 1: can't do what I out it, you know, So all

1362
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:06,760
Speaker 1: of that mentality that our children are or are drowning in.

1363
01:18:07,720 --> 01:18:10,920
Speaker 1: Then we go to the stage of gentle parenting. And

1364
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying, now you know that cookie, you know you

1365
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:18,000
Speaker 1: we're not going to have it right now, but you

1366
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:22,240
Speaker 1: know and you and you keep just even you get

1367
01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:26,559
Speaker 1: exhausted with trying to gentle parent a damn cook when

1368
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,599
Speaker 1: really what you're suggesting is no. And he says, why

1369
01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:31,360
Speaker 1: did it not? You say, because I said no, I'm

1370
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:35,720
Speaker 1: not talking about anymore. No. No mean no, I I've

1371
01:18:35,760 --> 01:18:39,040
Speaker 1: already said no. And I don't I say, like, you're right,

1372
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:44,200
Speaker 1: I was, and I am drowning in gentle parenting. And

1373
01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:46,800
Speaker 1: when I've been pushed, and I don't want to talk

1374
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:49,880
Speaker 1: about this ship anymore. The cookie, the dessert after dinner,

1375
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:53,240
Speaker 1: the twenty more minutes of the show, whatever the funk

1376
01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:57,360
Speaker 1: it is. And I just say because I said so, no,

1377
01:18:57,720 --> 01:18:59,800
Speaker 1: that's it. We're done and I'm not discussing it. And

1378
01:18:59,840 --> 01:19:03,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it again. That's it. That's it,

1379
01:19:04,040 --> 01:19:07,639
Speaker 1: And that's where you're That's where your support staff has

1380
01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:09,880
Speaker 1: to be on the same page with you, you know,

1381
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:12,120
Speaker 1: and then they will come up with fine, that's what

1382
01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:14,240
Speaker 1: we're gonna do it, you know, And you have to

1383
01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:18,160
Speaker 1: be more um. You have to time yourself and you

1384
01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:20,360
Speaker 1: have to be come on now, come on, you know,

1385
01:19:20,479 --> 01:19:22,360
Speaker 1: because you want to be able to get to the

1386
01:19:22,400 --> 01:19:26,160
Speaker 1: next stage because a child doesn't know any other vice

1387
01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:30,519
Speaker 1: but to keep trying different tactics to get that cookie, yes,

1388
01:19:31,080 --> 01:19:35,160
Speaker 1: to get out that front door. What's one question you

1389
01:19:35,280 --> 01:19:41,040
Speaker 1: wish I'd asked you? Oh, my goodness, either from like

1390
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:45,479
Speaker 1: working with a nanny as a parent, you know, what

1391
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,719
Speaker 1: was the question you'd wish I'd ask you about working

1392
01:19:47,760 --> 01:19:51,200
Speaker 1: as a nanny that I'm as a parent. From my perspective,

1393
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:55,840
Speaker 1: the one question I wish people would ask is, um,

1394
01:19:57,160 --> 01:20:00,479
Speaker 1: do you feel drained as being that nanny the home

1395
01:20:01,439 --> 01:20:04,519
Speaker 1: after giving everything? How do you feel when you walk

1396
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:06,920
Speaker 1: away from it? How do I know that I've done

1397
01:20:06,920 --> 01:20:09,839
Speaker 1: a good job. You know a lot of people always

1398
01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:13,760
Speaker 1: talk about, yeah, the nanny, I had a nanny, but

1399
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:18,479
Speaker 1: did that person really fulfill? And I always no one

1400
01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:20,840
Speaker 1: ever asked me how I feel, you know, when I

1401
01:20:20,880 --> 01:20:23,320
Speaker 1: walk away. A lot of them don't walk away from

1402
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:26,879
Speaker 1: because they still are in touch with me. But you know, um,

1403
01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:29,680
Speaker 1: the one question I guess that was what asked me

1404
01:20:29,840 --> 01:20:32,960
Speaker 1: is like, how did that? How do you feel when

1405
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:35,960
Speaker 1: you walk away? Do you feel like you've you've succeeded

1406
01:20:35,960 --> 01:20:38,479
Speaker 1: in your in the journey of being with that family.

1407
01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:44,080
Speaker 1: And my answers always, um, I've walked away from some

1408
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:48,439
Speaker 1: families because I felt like what I had to offer

1409
01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:52,080
Speaker 1: they weren't ready for or they weren't ready to receive,

1410
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:57,000
Speaker 1: and and that I didn't need to be there. So

1411
01:20:57,080 --> 01:21:00,439
Speaker 1: I I said, I called it one of the the

1412
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:06,000
Speaker 1: coolest things that my nanny, you know, when we were

1413
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,080
Speaker 1: in a little bit of a trial period in trying

1414
01:21:08,120 --> 01:21:10,760
Speaker 1: things on, you know, she was very much like, you know,

1415
01:21:10,920 --> 01:21:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm in a way trialing you as well, like because this.

1416
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:21,160
Speaker 1: This is a real fit. Where are our styles similar?

1417
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:25,400
Speaker 1: Do we get along? Do we communicate well? Do we

1418
01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:30,320
Speaker 1: do we trust each other? With that? We ask all

1419
01:21:30,320 --> 01:21:34,439
Speaker 1: of our guests this question. Please finish this sentence, Nanny Connie,

1420
01:21:34,840 --> 01:21:41,280
Speaker 1: parenthood is the biggest job of your life that will

1421
01:21:41,520 --> 01:21:48,840
Speaker 1: never ever have a finished line. That's a very a

1422
01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:55,880
Speaker 1: wonderful answer. So pace yourself, listeners, pace yourself. That's right,

1423
01:21:56,439 --> 01:22:00,000
Speaker 1: Nanny Connie. Thank you so much for being on Katie's

1424
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:04,719
Speaker 1: Crib and for sharing your wisdom. Everyone. Oh my pleasure. Everyone,

1425
01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:07,320
Speaker 1: go get the book. Follow her on Instagram so that

1426
01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:09,400
Speaker 1: you can be up to date on these awesome things

1427
01:22:09,439 --> 01:22:12,559
Speaker 1: that are hopefully coming out here. It is Nanny Connie Way,

1428
01:22:13,160 --> 01:22:17,040
Speaker 1: The Nanny Connie Way. People. You are a gift. You're

1429
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:26,760
Speaker 1: a gift to parenting. Thank you for having me. Thank

1430
01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:28,960
Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening to today's episode. I

1431
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:33,440
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Let's chat questions, comments, concerns.

1432
01:22:33,880 --> 01:22:36,080
Speaker 1: Let me know. You can always find me at Katie's

1433
01:22:36,080 --> 01:22:41,519
Speaker 1: Crib at Shanda land dot com. Katie's Crib is a

1434
01:22:41,560 --> 01:22:44,599
Speaker 1: production of Shonda Land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio.

1435
01:22:44,920 --> 01:22:47,439
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from Shandoland, audio visit the I heart

1436
01:22:47,520 --> 01:22:50,080
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

1437
01:22:50,120 --> 01:22:50,799
Speaker 1: favorite shows.