WEBVTT - Now Hang On a Second with Brooke Shields 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:06.119 Hi there everybody. What's going on? Hi Chelsea, what's happening? 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:11.520 Guy's going really good. Actually, our little puppy is growing up. 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:14.760 He's a month older and you know, getting potty trained, 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.640 getting there, getting there. Wendell Benyer is a month older 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.079 for Wendel ben. What's going to happen to Wendell's life? 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:23.120 He's going to get chebby like a pug shit. He's 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.840 going to come out of the closet very soon. Yes, Yes, 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:29.240 he's definitely he's definitely gay, for sure. For sure is 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:33.280 with a name like that? Well, Chelsea, I have a 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:36.640 quick follow up for you. This is from Rachel. She 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.120 called in on our microper Big La episode and she 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:41.480 was the one who was getting married and her brother 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:43.600 in law was not letting her sister's kids come to 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:47.160 the wedding. Hi, Catherine and Chelsea. I'm so sorry about 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:50.000 just now replying. I was waiting and hoping that something 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:54.000 would possibly change, but unfortunately that did not happen. My 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:56.120 niece and nephew will sadly not be a part of 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.640 my wedding. We're about forty days from the big day, 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:00.960 and after trying to reach out to my ex brother 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.840 in law, again, We've just accepted the situation as it is. 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:06.640 It's been about eight months since he and I have spoken, 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:08.880 and things are so messy that he and my sister 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:12.000 still have to communicate through a co parenting app for 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.959 documentation and legal purposes. It's a parent that he's hurting 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:17.800 deep down, and I just hope he can get some 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.520 help and heal one day. On the bright side, my 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:24.160 sister seems happier than ever nowadays. She's thriving in her 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.800 career as an elementary school principle, and she's been able 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:28.800 to really focus on herself for the first time in 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.720 a while. So we've taken your advice and decided to 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:35.399 have a private quote pretend wedding in my parents backyard 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:38.400 the week before our wedding. That way, my niece and 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:40.800 nephew can be our flower girl and ring bearer and 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:44.520 have all the attention and happiness directed toward them. Truthfully, 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.560 I just want them to be okay and not have 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.880 their childhood stripped of their innocence. Chelsea and Catherine, you 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.480 two are awesome. Thank you for keeping us all laughing 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:56.800 during some shitty situations. Love Rachel PS. I'll be sure 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:58.560 to send a picture of the three of us on 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:03.960 our backyard wedding stay tuned. Oh that's cute, that's all 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:07.520 good vibes. Too bad about the brother, but whatever it is. 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.920 And sometimes we just have to let other people do 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:12.160 what they're gonna do and make the best of a situation. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.440 And I'm really happy that she's choosing to do that. 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:19.160 We've got an amazing guest today, Chelsea. Yeah, we do. Actually, 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:23.040 we just worked together sort of but not really. We 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:28.560 both did Kim Kardashians skims campaign bra campaign uh and 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:31.680 and we both I noticed, used the same hair dresser. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:36.440 Dresser that's like an an outdated term, but anyway, hair 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:40.440 stylist Ronado, the Sky Ronado, and her hair looked so 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.080 badass during the campaign or for the photos. When we 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:44.840 got all the photos, I was like, I thought my 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:46.359 hair looked good. And then I saw brook Shields his 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.519 hair and I was like, whoa wait, But then I 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.160 realized she's Brooks Shields. Yes, that's where I guess is 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:55.360 today Brookshields. Yeah, she's known for her luscious hair. No, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:03:00.560 she's known for her lusciousness. Yes. Absolutely. She is an actress, model, 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:08.840 CEO and host of the Now What podcast. Please welcome Brookshields. Hi, Brook, Hi, Hi, 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:11.160 how are you? I'm good? How are you? How are 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:13.400 you feeling? Oh? My god better? But I sell my 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.680 throat still has a pickle, a tickle pickle every I 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:18.960 guess it must be Postdaisal trip. But I'm lying in 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:21.080 bed and I go like this fifty thousand times. I'm 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.200 glad I'm single at this time in my life because 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:25.040 I don't know who would want to have sex with me. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:30.960 All I always like this, My my Chris does that. 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:35.800 My husband Chris doesn't drive me insane insane because it's 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:39.000 neither nor it's not a great cough and it's not 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:43.840 really it's something else. Commit to one word or the other. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:46.760 On the subject of your husband. Chris actually a good 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:50.119 place to start for us because I knew Chris years ago, 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:52.200 which I think I told you about. I used to 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.040 wait tables at a place called Roasty on Montana and 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.400 Chris was a young writer who would come in and 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.520 he was a really nice guy, and I think he 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:01.480 had some friends and he would come in with other 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.000 writer guys. Yeah, and he would come in and that's 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:05.880 how I knew him. And then he went off and 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.600 married you, and then I never saw him again. Well, 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:13.160 see it was a natural progression. Yeah, exactly, the man 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.919 who stopped speaking to me completely. Oh he said to 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:20.080 say hi, by the way, Oh tell him I say 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.200 hi back, please. I will, I will, I will, I will. Um. 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:28.400 But you guys have had such a long successful relationship, marriage, partnership. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.719 I was wondering if you could speak to that and 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:34.080 tell us a little bit about how you feel about 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:37.040 your side of the street in your relationship, how you 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.480 feel like you've grown as a woman within your relationship 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.880 with having a family and everything, because these are things 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.840 I can't really relate to, so I'm so curious. I uh, 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:50.479 I'm his first marriage, or he likes to say I'm 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:55.359 her current marriage. But I had a marriage before, and 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.840 I think that that was probably one really great thing 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:03.279 because I learned really what I didn't want in a relationship. 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.560 Maybe I should have learned it without having to actually 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.880 go through the marriage. But I think that it's first 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.520 of all, it's a lot is attributable to him because 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:19.680 he's a very solid person. He doesn't get threatened easily 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:23.040 by any of any of that. I come with a lot, 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.120 you know, I come with a lot. It's hard it's hard, 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.120 not only my history, but because I'm recognized and because 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.159 the world feels like they own me. I think that, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.920 you know, I come with a lot. So he's very, 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.320 very patient. And one of the things that I think 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:43.680 what he was willing to do is adapt to certain 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.240 things that I have asked him. For instance, when we 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.320 first met, it was always funny how he would make 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.240 fun of me. And he made fun of me, like 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.360 he was just I'm I do really geeky, stupid things, 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.400 and like I'm that kid that always said that different 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:02.240 color highlighters and I'm organizing and I like underlining, and 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:04.599 you know, I just I do things that are kind 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.919 of geeky, and and he used to make fun of me, 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.200 or the fact that I couldn't cook, and it was 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:14.080 cute in the beginning because it was it felt really personal, 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.719 but it was never mean. But they were little things. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.840 And as you know, like ten years into the relationship, 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:23.760 I said to him, you know what, I'm growing as 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:27.240 a person, and I'm I don't want to self deprecate 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.640 as much as I used to in the same way 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:32.880 and for the same reasons. And you kind of knocking 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:35.880 me down a couple of pegs doesn't feel cute anymore 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.520 to me. And I know it sounds like a bait 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.480 and switch, and I know I'm changing the terms here, 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:46.360 but we all have to adapt. And you've mentioned accountability 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:48.680 when we were talking one time, and I think that 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.159 there is accountability to You're not trying to change the 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.640 other person, but there are certain things that have to 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.920 become a compromise, and you have to be able to 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:02.280 express what you need and also be able to change 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.800 in little ways that do make a huge difference to 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.080 your partner. And that type of back and forth in 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:12.080 exchange has been just really healthy for us. Wow. Yeah, 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:16.080 Like he'll if I start a sentence with to him, 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.480 I don't think you realize how much I have on 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:22.840 my plate, or something like that, he cannot stand it 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:29.400 because it underestimates how much he really does understand about 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.000 me and my life. And so he'll he'll get prickly 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.040 with something like that. So I have to keep in 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.239 mind that that's not a kind, that's not a rhetoric 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:40.360 that he It just makes him bristle and he in 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.520 a in a second. He's got his ire up, you know. 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.960 So I think that the willingness to be you know, 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.560 people say, oh, friendship. And so, first of all, laughter 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:53.040 is just key. I mean, he just makes me laugh 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:57.560 and that's been a big part of our relationship. He 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:00.360 is such a good father and he put it's in 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:05.080 the time, and that makes being a mother so much 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:08.800 more palatable in many ways for me, even though I've 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:12.600 always wanted to have kids. It's really not easy, and 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:16.640 it's a full time. It's just forever, and then some 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.120 that's forever, and then some it's neiver over no, and 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.880 and sometimes loving that much, it's just paying the ass. 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:24.440 It's just you're just like, why am I doing this 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:27.480 to myself? Yeah, I can imagine it's the kind of 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:29.960 worry that you're just like, God, did I did I 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:34.400 want to feel this horrible? It's weird. I mean, I 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:36.960 I have that conversation with a really good friend of 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:40.400 mine and she's sort of belaboring the fact that she's 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:45.360 not having children and she never wanted them. And then 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:48.200 the clock got a certain to a certain place, and 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.760 then it became difficult, and then it became, oh, no, 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.040 what am I missing out on? And I said, you know, 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:57.400 don't lose sight of how you can get love from 0:08:57.520 --> 0:09:02.000 her husband's grandchild or how you know. And also to 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.320 keep in mind that she never was motivated to have 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:08.640 it wasn't a part of her the way it was 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.880 a part of me. I I say that in my 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:12.760 stand up special. On my new stand up special, I 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:14.440 talk about like, if you're on the fence at all 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.160 about becoming a mother, then don't become a mother. Like 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.280 if you're questioning it, if you're not a hundred and 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.600 in in it and saying like this is what I want, 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.760 I can't live without it, then you shouldn't have a 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.400 baby because it is that kind of commitment. You can't 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.400 be like, well, I guess I'm getting older and I 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:31.800 may as well have one, you know, tell your friends 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:34.440 to call me. I'll just shake her out. Well, it's 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:37.520 also true that, you know, hey, I don't I respect 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:41.680 the way you talk about it, because not everybody should 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:43.720 want to have children. If they don't want to, they 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:47.200 shouldn't be shamed into it. And it's a you know, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:50.760 it is also it's the kind of thing that there's 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:52.960 a lot to it, and you know, it's not going 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:55.680 to fix a relationship. I hear couples talk about, you know, 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.240 their marriages having trouble and they think a baby is 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.960 going to fix it. Trust me, No, it's not. Whatever 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:07.080 your problems are become magnified right where you have baby, absolutely, 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:09.920 and then that then the blame starts and you're just like, 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:14.480 this is just becoming degraded. Now what Okay? Because I 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.640 know you have you spoken a lot and written a 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.600 lot about your relationship and the difficulties with your relationship 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.920 with your own mother, and I so I think for 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.960 your I'm so curious about when you became a mother. 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.679 I mean, you must have had such an inner dialogue 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.680 going on for fear of replicating any of the stuff 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:35.280 that was so painful or hurtful to you. The weirdest 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:39.400 thing is I've done so much work on myself in 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:43.840 therapy for decades that I focused on the things that 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:47.240 I want to replicate rather than just the things I 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:49.880 didn't want to replicate because I had done so much work. 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.560 And so to compare myself in in any way in 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:57.199 a negative way to a woman who really was so 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:00.920 broken and couldn't do the work on herself or for herself, 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:03.280 and you know it's not only just alcoholic. I don't 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.920 think she could ever get through step seven or whatever 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:10.640 the amends one is, but I think that her humor 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:16.920 was so important, her willingness to have fun with me, 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.839 her belief that I should always have someone my own 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:26.120 age around me, even within this industry, her very frank 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:30.720 way of of discussing anything. You know, she was ballsy, 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:34.520 and that really protected me. And so I try to 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:38.520 remember those things, and I try to be careful about 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:42.400 my drinking because I know that that is in my blood. 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:47.839 I'm surprised at how how much freedom emotionally I give 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.319 my kids, you know how. I I never thought that 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:54.400 talking to them about sex and talking to I thought 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.360 because my mother never talked to me about anything. You 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:00.199 just were told, don't do it, you'll burn in hell. 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:04.640 And then I became sort of known for being a virgin. 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:11.080 We talk about everything together and I have no judgment, 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.640 and I'm shocked at myself, you know. I mean, we 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.560 talked about it all, and I didn't think that i'd 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.439 be comfortable with it on that level. Yeah, I can 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:23.400 see what you mean by that. I mean, I'm just 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.760 thinking about my nieces and nephews and I'm like, yeah, 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.040 I guess I would be the closest to non judgmental, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.840 but I'm still they're like my little babies, and I'm like, 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.000 I can't even think about the things that they might 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.079 be up to getting up to you right now. It's crazy. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.360 It's just so crazy. And but I you know, I 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:43.320 always say, it's just it's important that you have an 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:49.520 ally within these these times in your life because you're 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:53.439 gonna need it. And who better than your mom in 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:58.040 my case with her, because I'm always going to be 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.200 here for whatever it is. I'm like, but don't be 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.560 an idiots. Do either of your girls remind you of 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:09.079 your mom? Oh, that's a great question. There's sometimes when 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:15.640 my older daughter will do something that is just so defiant, 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:19.840 like she's got balls, my daughter, And you think that 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.319 I would see my mom do that, or she would 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:26.960 do things just to be the first one dancing on 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:29.320 the table or something like that. So there are some 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.319 kind of ballsy and her sense of humor, My mom's 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:37.480 sense of humor does really sort of breathe through rowan 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.760 in particular. Yeah, that's cool. That must be really like 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:44.520 meaningful to see it is because I'll say things that 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:49.199 my mother would have said that just can sound borderline, 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.240 like you know, when a dog is outside the deli 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.839 or something, and they're looking inside to see where their 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.600 master is, like their masters like they just can't they 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.360 can only look at their math, her or whatever. My 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.400 mother used to walk by the dogs and go, she's 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:09.960 never coming back, which is a sick joke. It's a 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.080 sick joke. And my mom was full of sick jokes 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.800 like that, and so and I would like try them 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.840 out on rowan and she was like, Mom, that's so sick, 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:25.960 but it's so fucking funny. That's cute. Well, I think 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:29.680 that's a really beautiful sentiment, you know. Taking the best 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.920 out of a relationship was what we should all be doing, 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.239 out of our difficult relationships, out of our beautiful relationships, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.880 out of our best relationships, but taking the best things 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.280 about that and trying to replicate those instead of focusing 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.520 on the things that you don't want to replicate, focusing 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.000 on the things that you do. The minute you start 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.360 going down the road of the things you don't want 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:53.240 or the things that are bad, you're now demonizing this 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.800 person even more, especially if they're not alive, right, and 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.520 then you're not even giving yourself a chance to sort 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:03.080 of not live with rose colored glasses about who they were, 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.120 but to also sort of say people are complex, and 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:09.200 I'm going to try to shift this and start with 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.960 a positive rather than, you know, making myself terrified that 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:16.400 i'm you know things. I'm my own person too, you know, 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:18.800 And I think that that's important for people to remember, 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.160 is that they are they can be their own people, 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.680 right exactly. Okay, So we are going to take a 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:26.760 quick break, and then we're going to come back and 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.080 get to some callers who need some life advice. Brooke, 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.600 We're going to dish it out and give real people 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.960 advice on what to do in situations. Catherine, are we 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:36.800 ready to take a quick break. I think we're ready 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:38.920 to take a quick Oh my god, we're taking a 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:45.240 break and we'll be right back, and we're back and 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.560 we're back. Well, you know what, I'm gonna switch up 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:51.120 the order that I intended these in because we've already 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.440 been talking about dogs, and I see you have it's Pepper, 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.760 right of Pepper, they're bored. She just got up and left. Now, 0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:59.800 aren't dogs all bored all the time? It's not where 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.160 they're sleeping all of the time. And my dogs are 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:05.000 sleeping all of the time. Like cats are more bored 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.960 than than dogs. I think, I don't know. Mine is 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.200 so neurotic and insecure. My dogs are like cats. I 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:14.920 have two cat dogs, wow, and I have a neurotic 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:21.440 separation anxiety dog. She's a Portuguese water dog. I mean, 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:24.600 those are nice dogs. What happens when you have a 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:26.800 dog in the city, Isn't that just a fucking huge 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.359 pain in the ass brook to have to go outside 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.320 into the city every time they need to go out. Yeah, 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.800 it's it can be a bit can be, but you know, 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.640 you get your dog people in town and we are 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.000 able to leave the city in the summer, and I 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:44.960 have the best of both worlds. I mean, what's hard 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.240 is making sure your dog can tell you when they 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:50.360 have to go to the bathroom, which, like I now 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.760 know her look obviously when she's gotta go, but she's 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.600 not clear, Like she doesn't go to the door and 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.680 like paw the door. So there's been many a package 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:03.520 left room. We trained our little pug, Mimsy, using bells, 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:05.480 so she if she has to go out, she just 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.119 goes and rings the bell. I mean we take her 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.120 out at regular interviews anyway. But it's it's a life saver, 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.840 it's a carpet saver. Yeah, well it's too freaking late 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:15.640 for us, Catherine, thanks for the hot tip. Now, I mean, 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:21.320 you can't train these dogs to ring doorbells? Can't learn Okay, Well, 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:23.240 and I actually just got a new puppy. But I 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:27.760 actually picked this question for you weeks ago. So this 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:33.119 question comes from Lindsay. Lindsay says, Dear Chelsea, should we 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.960 get a new dog. It's been over four years since 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.560 our dog passed away. She felt like a soulmate to me, 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.480 and we went through so many life events together. I 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.600 loved her in a way that makes my heart burst 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:47.159 even today. Her passing was tragic and took years to 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.840 get through. I feel her presence all the time, and 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.320 I miss her every day. In the last year, I've 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:55.880 been finding myself wanting the physical presence of a dog again. However, 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.439 I'm terrified of not feeling that same love for a 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.359 new dog. Well also being terrified that I'll feel that 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:05.200 strong feeling again, which ultimately means I'll feel terrible loss again. 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.560 We travel often, have two senior cats and a six 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:10.920 year old. Our lives are busy, so I also wonder 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:12.800 if maybe the timing isn't right to add a dog 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:15.160 to our family. How will I know when the time 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:18.200 is right? How do I get past the fear? Lindsay, 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:20.560 Just get a fucking dog, Lindsay, I mean, this is 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.120 not a hard problem at all. Get a dog, and 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:28.359 don't compare that dog all the time to your deceased 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.120 little love bug. Because it took me a while too, 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:33.480 and I was like, I'm not gonna love this dog 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.240 as much, and then I was resistant, and poor dog 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.879 didn't know the difference. She didn't know my other dog. 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.960 You know, Um, I just think, get a dog, and 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.400 and it's good for a little girl to grow up 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:47.400 with with a dog. I mean, you know you're gonna 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.320 end up doing all the work, obviously, but but also 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.119 once you get a new dog, your love transfers. You 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:55.199 don't have any choice but to love and focus on 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.480 that dog that you're not going to have be comparing 0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:59.719 it to your other dog, even like I've had so 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.480 many dogs, and every time you just have a different 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:04.680 kind of love for them. You're like, oh my god, 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.000 this is my number one now. It actually helps you 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:10.080 get over the loss of the other one too, actually too. 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:12.159 And if you have just one kid, I mean, think 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:15.560 about if you had another daughter, would you only love 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:19.840 the six year old more than the baby. I doubt it. Yeah, exactly, 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:23.000 So you just it's like growing another heart. So buck 0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:25.640 up and just go get that dog. Okay, I think so, 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:30.040 lindsay get the dog. Well that was easy. That was 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:35.440 probably the easiest question we've ever gotten. So oh boy, Okay. Well, 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:41.520 our next question comes from Jesse. She's a caller, she says, 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.439 Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I recently went on a 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.959 camping trip with his whole family, mom, dad's sister, and 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:50.920 his nephew. My nine year old son and our dog 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:54.320 also joined us. Three days in, we had reservations to 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.080 go whitewater rafting with my boyfriend's sister, her son, my son, 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:01.680 and my boyfriend. The big ending of the river was amazing. 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.280 We were all laughing, screaming, and having the best time. 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:08.240 Shortly into it, I decided to move back a seat 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:10.840 to sit next to my boyfriend. His sister is an 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:13.600 aggressive type A and promptly turns around to tell me 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:16.239 to move back to my original seat. I told her 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.080 it should be fine because I'm still peddling in the 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:21.000 same area I was before. She continued to tell me, no, 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:23.720 I need to move back while raising her voice. I 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:25.520 told her not to talk to me like that, and 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:31.680 all hell broke loose. She used this moment to stand up, 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:34.360 point her finger in my face while telling me all 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:37.240 the things she's always hated about me since day one. 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.200 She concluded it by saying, and I'm not the only 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.320 one who feels this way. I immediately broke down and 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:45.760 cried the rest of the two hour trip down the river, 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:48.680 we packed up our camp and drove back home. As 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:51.200 soon as we got back to the campsite, his mom 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.400 and dad sided with his sister and also doubled down 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:56.840 on all the resentments they have had towards me for 0:20:56.880 --> 0:21:00.960 the four years we've been together. Nothing they've said makes 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.680 any sense to me, and I honestly feel broken, sad, 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:07.840 and confused. I lost my dad to COVID. Have considered 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:10.920 his family my family. I can feel the energy shift 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.400 in my relationship with my boyfriend, and I truly don't 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:22.160 know where to go from here. Please help. Jesse Oh, no, Jesse, Hi, Jesse, Hi, Jesse. Hey, 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.960 this is our special guest, Brookshields is here today. Hi Brook, 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.560 So nice to see you all. I mean, first of all, 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:34.120 rapt trips are not easy they're they're challenging, and there 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:37.560 they bring out a lot in people. I think that 0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:41.159 was that was one of the issues for sure. What 0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:44.040 did you how did your Have you spoken at length 0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:48.080 to your boyfriend about all of this? We actually both 0:21:48.119 --> 0:21:51.520 started seeing a therapist. We both see the same therapist now, 0:21:51.600 --> 0:21:55.760