Speaker 1: Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy and I'm here with.
Speaker 2: Susan, and I'm so glad you're feeling better, Kathy better.
Speaker 1: Not not perfect yet, but by the time works, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll be I'll be all better by the time this airs,
Speaker 1: and you know what, I'll stop sneezing and coffee and
Speaker 1: you know what, your tan will have faded.
Speaker 2: What she's implying was I spent the weekend at.
Speaker 1: The beach, and before that, where were you.
Speaker 2: Uh, North Carolina's beach? Uh huh, yeah, summer at the
Speaker 2: beach pretty much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Susan's at the beach and Kathy's home washing floors, sneezing.
Speaker 2: Cough, there you were just this week and don't believe
Speaker 2: a word she had. But today, you guys, we have
Speaker 2: a really special to Kathy and I, I can tell
Speaker 2: you that, and probably special to you too. Our special
Speaker 2: friend from the Golden Matster, Leslie is here. Hi, honey,
Speaker 2: Hi guys, Hi, my friend.
Speaker 1: You look so beautiful Todays.
Speaker 2: Good color on you. I watched you in that pool
Speaker 2: with the weights and I try to do some of those, Leslie,
Speaker 2: you'd be proud of.
Speaker 3: Do you have those?
Speaker 2: I just used my regular ones.
Speaker 3: Or you can use them, you can use the the two.
Speaker 2: It's just why is it easier in the water? For
Speaker 2: oh god, Leslie does a lot of workouts, That's what
Speaker 2: she does for a living, teaches people how to be
Speaker 2: in shape. But she does some in the pool. And
Speaker 2: I remember you showed that us on the shell, Remember that, Cappy.
Speaker 1: Yes, when we were in Paradise, Leslie Toddy great aerobics
Speaker 1: class in the water. It got a little whild people
Speaker 1: trying to ride on each other's shoulders and drowning. But
Speaker 1: yet Leslie is an unbelievable aerobics instructor, dance instructor. And
Speaker 1: on the cruise you're going to be teaching. I'm going
Speaker 1: to be in that pool with you.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be going to be teaching water and there
Speaker 3: could be a flash mob.
Speaker 2: Well I'm gonna come. I'll take pictures for you, but
Speaker 2: I'll be at the wine tasting with the fans.
Speaker 3: And I'll be for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, Leslie, you've been, uh, you've lived. You're from Minneapolis,
Speaker 1: you grew up there, your kids are there, your grandkids
Speaker 1: are there, and you and I talk a lot because
Speaker 1: we're good friends. I want the truth I want the
Speaker 1: world to hear. What is the dating scene like in Minneapolis.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, we're getting right into it, aren't we.
Speaker 1: Wait, did you expect anything?
Speaker 3: Like I I'm prepared. I am so prepared right now.
Speaker 4: The dating scene is really not I mean, it's not
Speaker 4: just my age, like you know, I hear this from.
Speaker 3: My younger friends, my kids friends. It's not great. I
Speaker 3: don't know what it is about this town.
Speaker 2: You know, it's I don't think it's just your town.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, yeah, So you're not dating anyone right now.
Speaker 3: I'm not dating anyone right now.
Speaker 4: I had I put Okay, I put myself out there,
Speaker 4: and you know the story, Kathy, because you said you
Speaker 4: were proud of me. I feel stupid, but I mean,
Speaker 4: well I listened.
Speaker 1: This is a great story, and don't feel stupid, Leslie,
Speaker 1: go ahead tell this story. Well, I mean, so I
Speaker 1: took a lot of courage.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, okay, I just have to put myself
Speaker 4: out there. The dating apps are crap, so you know,
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, and I'm like, it's going to happen organically.
Speaker 3: So long story, short, short story.
Speaker 4: Long. I there was this guy that was coming to
Speaker 4: my class last summer and then this summer and he's
Speaker 4: really cute, and I'm like, okay, coming to my pilates class.
Speaker 4: He's definitely in shape, and so he we would chat
Speaker 4: a little bit like it was a little bit first
Speaker 4: and then maybe the second time a little bit more,
Speaker 4: and the third time and you know, he asked me
Speaker 4: where I lived and all that stuff. And then and
Speaker 4: I did find out, I mean, it's you know, small town.
Speaker 4: Plus he's at the club. I did find out that
Speaker 4: he was divorced. So of course I'm not gonna you know,
Speaker 4: I wanted to know because you know, he'd come to
Speaker 4: a class with his daughter.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't if he's married, I don't
Speaker 3: want to whatever.
Speaker 4: And so I'm thinking, you know, I thought I read
Speaker 4: the signs, you know, and so I reached out to
Speaker 4: him and I texted him, and you know, I just
Speaker 4: said something cute like.
Speaker 3: I probably shouldn't be texting you because.
Speaker 4: You were in my class, but don't tell a lifetime
Speaker 4: or something, I don't know, something funny like that, and
Speaker 4: he goes, oh, your seeker's safe with me. You know,
Speaker 4: thanks for reaching out. I'd love to go have a drink.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I didn't get back to you right away.
Speaker 4: I was in a meeting. I'm going up north this weekend,
Speaker 4: but for sure next week. And then we talked a
Speaker 4: couple more times, maybe the next day or something, because
Speaker 4: his daughter was in my class and she's really good.
Speaker 4: And then I heard nothing, nothing back, and he's not
Speaker 4: been in my class since, and so I feel really stupid.
Speaker 3: I feel like I should have left it alone.
Speaker 4: Kathy said, I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there.
Speaker 1: You know I am.
Speaker 3: I usually don't do stuff like that.
Speaker 2: I usually realize there's nothing, don't regret it.
Speaker 1: And Leslie, here's the thing, and I said this to
Speaker 1: you when we were on the phone. You don't know
Speaker 1: what happened. He may still be interested in you. He
Speaker 1: may have, you know, had something happen to one of
Speaker 1: his kids, the ex wife. He had to travel for business.
Speaker 1: The reality is, you don't know. And if it were me,
Speaker 1: and I was waiting for the podcast to say this
Speaker 1: to you, if it were me, i'd reach back out
Speaker 1: to him. Oh yes, I would.
Speaker 3: I know you would.
Speaker 2: I'm just not going for him not to show up
Speaker 2: at the last The only thing I might.
Speaker 3: Say, thank you.
Speaker 2: Listen exactly what I am not trying to throw myself out.
Speaker 2: You please, we're friends, You're come to class. Well, I
Speaker 2: have no hard feeling.
Speaker 4: I almost said that because it's really blatant that he's
Speaker 4: not coming to.
Speaker 2: Class, which tells me feels uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Or or he's got something going on his life.
Speaker 2: Why possibly, But either way you got to think.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, you could have a girlfriend. What do
Speaker 3: I know? I don't know, and he probably that's why.
Speaker 1: That's why I agreed to walk for a drink with you,
Speaker 1: because he's a girlfriend. No. Wait, let me just say, Leslie, Susan,
Speaker 1: this is what I meant earlier. When women don't say,
Speaker 1: they don't We don't say what we want, what we need,
Speaker 1: what we were to say. I mean what you say.
Speaker 1: We were just talking about this before, Leslie. What let
Speaker 1: me say to you? Are you dating him right now? No,
Speaker 1: don't think too hard on the answer. No, what do
Speaker 1: you like? Why I was gonna say?
Speaker 3: I think it was it was a pause because I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: of course, no.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm making a pointment. Okay, what do you
Speaker 1: have to lose? Oh wait, he's not going to date you.
Speaker 1: Oh shoot, he's not dating you now. Oh he's not
Speaker 1: going to come back to your class. Oh he's already
Speaker 1: not coming back to your class. You have nothing to
Speaker 1: lose by, not one thing.
Speaker 2: That being sad, right along that being sad.
Speaker 3: Minneapolis is like a big small town.
Speaker 4: And now because I've been on the show, I'm very hesitant.
Speaker 4: I don't want I don't want him to say to
Speaker 4: his fans, oh my god, that Leslie Femas, she just
Speaker 4: won't leave me alone.
Speaker 3: Like, I don't want that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm because I'm not like that.
Speaker 2: I'm not begging. You're not begging.
Speaker 3: I'm not begging anybody.
Speaker 1: And no, wait a minute, wait, just one more thing
Speaker 1: before we move on. It's not begging. What I would
Speaker 1: say is, hey, we're going to get together for drink.
Speaker 1: I don't know if something happened, still would love to
Speaker 1: get a drink with you. But if that's not possible,
Speaker 1: come back to class, missing you in the class. Something
Speaker 1: light and airy that gives him an entree again, because
Speaker 1: you know what, guys, he may feel stupid that he
Speaker 1: lets so much time elapse and now he's nervous to
Speaker 1: reach out to you. Give yourself a break.
Speaker 3: If I say.
Speaker 4: Anything, it'll be like, you know, Blank, I really wish
Speaker 4: you'd come back to class.
Speaker 3: I'm you know, I have.
Speaker 2: You're not interested, that's cools. You do you want to
Speaker 2: or not?
Speaker 3: And then you know, I did find it.
Speaker 4: I did find out how his age and I am
Speaker 4: I am significantly older than him, although how much.
Speaker 3: Thirteen years?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 3: I beat you, and I really and I didn't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, okay, so like we don't always look our age,
Speaker 4: and so I didn't know.
Speaker 2: And there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: Nothing. And this is a perfect segue Leslie into our
Speaker 1: next topic, which is talking.
Speaker 2: About the golden man, the gossip about golden younger women.
Speaker 1: So many of the golden Men Mark Jordan, Guy and
Speaker 1: Gary Justin and a few are all dating much younger women.
Speaker 1: Does it surprise you? Tell me, what do you think
Speaker 1: about It?
Speaker 4: Doesn't surprise me at all, because it's everybody knows men
Speaker 4: like most men like younger women. I mean, my son
Speaker 4: does I mean, like you know what I mean, most
Speaker 4: men like younger women.
Speaker 2: I mean we like younger men.
Speaker 4: I like younger I mean when people say, do you
Speaker 4: like younger men, I'm like, yeah, sixty that's young to me,
Speaker 4: or fifty five or fifty eight.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's really young to me. But but most
Speaker 3: men want younger women. I mean that's I don't know why.
Speaker 2: For those guys that we just mentioned, I think they
Speaker 2: had an advantage with younger women reaching out to them. Yes,
Speaker 2: after being on the show. I mean that gave them a.
Speaker 4: Totally they were I'm sure they were inundated with messages
Speaker 4: and girls and yeah, so I mean I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, so it's unfortunate because they all have like partners,
Speaker 4: and you know, a lot of us women from the show,
Speaker 4: whether it was our show or the other Golden Bassard Show,
Speaker 4: and a lot of us are single and kind of weird.
Speaker 1: But why, I want to know why, Leslie, Why do
Speaker 1: you think all three of us have had this conversation
Speaker 1: But for the rest of the world, who is not
Speaker 1: privy to our little secret conversations. Why do you think
Speaker 1: men gravitate to younger women because.
Speaker 4: They like new, shiny things. And I feel like, you know, listen,
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, skin of my knees sag. I look
Speaker 4: like a sharp pay. When I look down at my knees, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, I have a dog. I have a sharp pay
Speaker 3: in my knees, like I don't know. I mean, I
Speaker 3: don't know. The skin says, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, do you think that's that's it? You think
Speaker 2: it's because of the body.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know what they would even have in
Speaker 4: common with them. I mean they don't usually like the
Speaker 4: same music.
Speaker 3: They don't. Let you know, they don't know shows that
Speaker 3: we used to watch, they don't. I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: you can sit and talk about back.
Speaker 4: In our day, we used to ride our bikes and
Speaker 4: not come home till six at night, and like, what
Speaker 4: do they talk about with these girlfriends?
Speaker 3: They you know, they don't understand that.
Speaker 4: But I feel like it's either the body or just
Speaker 4: maybe it's like you know, arm again, sex sex.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh no, it can't be said.
Speaker 3: It can't.
Speaker 1: Yes it can because guys, again we've had this conversation.
Speaker 1: But for those who were listening, al I personally know
Speaker 1: a lot of women in their fifties and sixties who
Speaker 1: have no interest in sex. So men. So I didn't
Speaker 1: say all. I said there are some number of women.
Speaker 1: I didn't say us either, by the way, but there
Speaker 1: are some number of women. And I think, Leslie, what
Speaker 1: you said, arm Candy is one thing. But also if
Speaker 1: they're dating a new bile thirty something year old, it
Speaker 1: makes them feel virile and young, right.
Speaker 4: But they haven't had us they haven't found the right
Speaker 4: older woman then, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, younger men love older women.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 4: But then at the end of the day, I don't
Speaker 4: want to really date small children. Or that's my son
Speaker 4: is turning forty in a few days. I'm not dating
Speaker 4: anyone younger than him.
Speaker 1: And would you date a forty you?
Speaker 3: Huh?
Speaker 1: Would you date a forty year old?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, it's kind of like, what's your limit?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I've never dated anyone.
Speaker 4: Like my ex husband was three years younger than me,
Speaker 4: But that's not young.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I've never dated anyone like
Speaker 3: ten years younger than me.
Speaker 2: To be honest, leslie, if one of your friends started
Speaker 2: seeing someone and there was a twenty year age gap,
Speaker 2: what would your first reaction be?
Speaker 1: Twenty years younger? Right, So what would you that means?
Speaker 1: Like one of her girlfriends was dating a guy twenty
Speaker 1: years younger.
Speaker 4: Well, my cousin has been with a man for years,
Speaker 4: twenty years, so when she started dating him, he was
Speaker 4: like thirty twenty nine maybe.
Speaker 2: And she was in hell old she was in she.
Speaker 4: Was, well, she's seventy three right now, so she was yeah,
Speaker 4: she was No, they're yeah, and there have been together
Speaker 4: for years years, so it does work.
Speaker 2: So it doesn't it can work.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, listen, Jordan is dating somebody twenty three
Speaker 1: years younger than he Gary, and she's what fifty eight,
Speaker 1: he's seventy five, that's that.
Speaker 3: I think seventy three three.
Speaker 1: No, he's older than I am, Leslie four, he's either's
Speaker 1: seventy four or seventy five. Anyway, My point is she's
Speaker 1: what fifty nine, so that's you know, sixteen years younger.
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 4: The funny thing is on the show, he didn't. He
Speaker 4: kept saying, you're so young, you're too young for me.
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's seven years, it's not that much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, that's after I don't think it counts
Speaker 2: after sixty. But sometimes, Kathy, to answer your question in
Speaker 2: a yet totally different way, some older men are thinking
Speaker 2: they might need taking care of eventually, and they want
Speaker 2: somebody that they're not going to have to take care of,
Speaker 2: that that other person would take care of them.
Speaker 4: But Gary kept Gary kept saying, I don't want anyone
Speaker 4: to have to take care of me when they're young, like,
Speaker 4: you know, being young. And I kept saying, I'm not young.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm six that at that time, I was
Speaker 4: sixty four years old. But you know, you know some guy,
Speaker 4: I mean, some of these men are going to get
Speaker 4: old and these girls are going to take care of
Speaker 4: them and they're going to be in their prime, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Or they get to I've known women who were young
Speaker 1: who dated older men, had the luxury of their cards,
Speaker 1: their money, all of it, the country clubs, the travel,
Speaker 1: and then when the guy got to a certain age,
Speaker 1: boom out divorced, I mean, and that. And you know,
Speaker 1: I'd like to say I'm sympathetic, but I think both
Speaker 1: men and women go into it with their eyes open. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I don't really have somepthy free the one. How
Speaker 1: much do you think money plays a role?
Speaker 4: You know? I think this is where I have found
Speaker 4: in the dating scene. Men that have been divorced do
Speaker 4: not want to spend money on a woman anymore. I mean, they'll, they'll, they'll,
Speaker 4: they just don't. They want someone that's self sufficient. They
Speaker 4: don't want to have to take care of somebody again,
Speaker 4: and they you know, they don't. They don't want to
Speaker 4: leave their money. They don't want to part with their money.
Speaker 4: They don't want to use it all up. I mean,
Speaker 4: sure they'll take you on a trip or take you
Speaker 4: out for dinner, stuff whatever, but they don't want to
Speaker 4: have to support somebody.
Speaker 3: That's what I have noticed, and people have told me.
Speaker 2: That, Leslie. Do you think you've become more selective after
Speaker 2: all your experiences and being over sixty?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I mean it's kind of weird some
Speaker 4: Like after being on the show, I felt like I
Speaker 4: gave some things up, like I wasn't so picky. But
Speaker 4: then as time goes by and now it's than three years,
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, I haven't even been really dating. So
Speaker 4: I feel like, you know what I want, what I want,
Speaker 4: and that's all there is to it.
Speaker 3: Otherwise, I have a full life and I have a
Speaker 3: great life. I have great kids, great grandkids, and so
Speaker 3: I'm okay, you know.
Speaker 1: Not, you know I can't. Yeah, You're not desperate, Leslie
Speaker 1: at all. You're absolutely stunningly beautiful. But I will tell
Speaker 1: you I think the three the thing, the three of
Speaker 1: us and many of the other women from Bachelor have
Speaker 1: regards of the season. Have have the same philosophy, which
Speaker 1: is we have weird in age, we have great lives,
Speaker 1: full lives, fun times, and if a man does not,
Speaker 1: I guess I should speak for myself, but I think
Speaker 1: you guys agree. If a man does not add to
Speaker 1: my life, I'm not interested. I don't want to take
Speaker 1: care of a man. I don't want to be worried.
Speaker 1: Am I offending him? I don't want I don't want
Speaker 1: a guy to walk ahead of me or behind me.
Speaker 1: I want a guy to walk next to me metaphorically
Speaker 1: and literally.
Speaker 3: I don't need I want one, that's all. That's a
Speaker 3: different you know.
Speaker 4: It's like I want somebody to do all the things
Speaker 4: that I want to do. You know, I certainly have
Speaker 4: my friends to do it and my kids whatever, But
Speaker 4: I want someone to go to concert with. I want someone,
Speaker 4: you know, to go to a wedding. I'd like to
Speaker 4: go to a wed with the date, and I have
Speaker 4: to go alone all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, you do you believe that your next love
Speaker 1: is out there? Leslie?
Speaker 4: I do. I do.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. I mean I've been
Speaker 3: I've been diving and doing a little bit.
Speaker 4: Of work with Kabbala and it's very interesting and very uplifting,
Speaker 4: and so I have kind of a different mindset, and
Speaker 4: I do think he's out there. I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: my mom used to say there's a man for every woman,
Speaker 4: and I used to say, well, just hope he's not
Speaker 4: dead yet.
Speaker 2: So I don't or emotionally available.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know where I want.
Speaker 2: I have a question for both of you. Kathy, I
Speaker 2: want your answer. And Leslie, what is one quality you
Speaker 2: are absolutely unwilling to compromise with when dating somebody? One.
Speaker 2: I'm sure we have a few, but just one.
Speaker 3: Are we talking deal breakers or quality?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Something that you would not absolutely unwilling you will
Speaker 2: no compromise if what is it?
Speaker 3: Kathy knows mine that will say it? Should I though, yes?
Speaker 2: Why not?
Speaker 4: Well, it's just I have from me, I need someone
Speaker 4: that has the same moral compass.
Speaker 3: So I guess this has to do with politics, but
Speaker 3: that's just me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, And Kathy, you, uh integrity, Mine is disrespectful.
Speaker 2: If they're disrespectful to anybody creatures humans, I can't.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So basically, yeah, my answer is more and that.
Speaker 3: Does encompass a lot of things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think we're different now, Leslie. Tell me,
Speaker 1: is the guy looking for now, Leslie, different than the
Speaker 1: men you were married to or the men you dated
Speaker 1: call it ten years ago? Oh yeah, are you looking for?
Speaker 1: What are you looking for now?
Speaker 4: Well, I'm not gonna throw my husband under the bus. Actually,
Speaker 4: my first sex husband and I are very good, very
Speaker 4: good friends.
Speaker 3: We were friends before we dated. It was a high
Speaker 3: school thing.
Speaker 4: But I am I am looking for someone that I
Speaker 4: just want to I just want someone to be honest
Speaker 4: and and be faithful really, and yeah, I just want
Speaker 4: my best friend and that you know.
Speaker 3: I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue.
Speaker 4: I don't want to have tension because I live a
Speaker 4: stress free life right now without that. I mean, of course,
Speaker 4: you know, with our kids, we're always something. But I
Speaker 4: don't want to fight with anyone. I mean, I'm so.
Speaker 2: Well coming up next, do tell us about the walk,
Speaker 2: Leslie and let everybody know. And I'm so sorry I
Speaker 2: can't do there.
Speaker 3: I know we're gonna miss you so much, darn it.
Speaker 4: So basically, you know, my dad died of suicide and
Speaker 4: it's been obviously a painful thing in my life. In fact,
Speaker 4: I used to lie about it until I didn't like
Speaker 4: when I went into Dice Folley's, nobody knew me, and
Speaker 4: I reinvented myself and I just said my dad died
Speaker 4: of a heart attack.
Speaker 3: I was embarrassed.
Speaker 4: And then as time goes on, you know, I just thought,
Speaker 4: this is ridiculous.
Speaker 3: I want to speak more about it.
Speaker 4: And as I became obviously a mother and everything, I
Speaker 4: would talk to my kids about it, you know. And
Speaker 4: now I feel like I definitely want to be an
Speaker 4: advocate for suicide prevention because it is rampant.
Speaker 3: I mean it is.
Speaker 4: It is not just I'm depressed. I mean I need medication.
Speaker 4: It's it goes.
Speaker 3: Beyond that now.
Speaker 4: And so last year I was in LA and I
Speaker 4: did this Dede Hirsh. They reached out to me and
Speaker 4: I just happened to be in LA at the same time,
Speaker 4: and I did this walk with at UCLA and it,
Speaker 4: I mean, and it's a good size, but it wasn't
Speaker 4: like huge, and I just Eric Bigger was doing the
Speaker 4: leading the workout, and Colton was there and I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, there's bachelor people here. And then of
Speaker 4: course the people that were walking they came up to me,
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love you on the show. Thank
Speaker 4: you for speaking out, because I would intermntally speak out
Speaker 4: about suicide prevention. So then I had this idea like,
Speaker 4: let's just get a group like Bachelor Nation group together.
Speaker 4: And I told Kathy about this a long time ago.
Speaker 4: I said, Kathy, next year, you have to do this
Speaker 4: with me. But then we started talking and it kind
Speaker 4: of morphed into this big thing and now we've got
Speaker 4: a lot of Bachelor alumni coming. And so Dede Hirsh
Speaker 4: is a nonprofit and they do such good work. Yes,
Speaker 4: it's you know, they're from LA and they probably do
Speaker 4: most of their work out you know, in LA and everything,
Speaker 4: but they do things you know, nationally too, and it's
Speaker 4: a great foundation and the people that work for them
Speaker 4: work so hard.
Speaker 3: And it's it's everything.
Speaker 4: It's prevention, it's education, it's family, it's groups, it's.
Speaker 3: You know, everything. So I really believe in it, and
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not, you know.
Speaker 4: I'm it's very hard as a someone that I don't
Speaker 4: know if you call it a survivor of suicide, but
Speaker 4: when someone you know, like it has affected me and Kathy,
Speaker 4: it's it's just you know, I mean, it's not an
Speaker 4: easy thing, and I want people out there to know
Speaker 4: that we got your back, We're there for you. It's
Speaker 4: you know, any time you need to reach out, it's
Speaker 4: you know, I answer all my Instagram messages.
Speaker 3: I know Kathy does too.
Speaker 4: So like it's you know, I feel like it's going
Speaker 4: to be good for both of us.
Speaker 3: It's healing, it's and.
Speaker 4: Then you know, really you don't have to be like
Speaker 4: next to suicide like we are. But it's touched your
Speaker 4: life somehow. It's whether it's a friend of a friend
Speaker 4: or an uncle or you know, it's touched all of
Speaker 4: our lives.
Speaker 2: We all know something.
Speaker 4: Exactly, and even our favorite actor or actress, you know,
Speaker 4: like we just know people obviously, and.
Speaker 2: You know, it's open for anybody to do this work.
Speaker 2: And that's what I want you to say. For people
Speaker 2: that live in the la area, For.
Speaker 4: People that live in the La Era area, Kathy and
Speaker 4: I are doing a video. We're going to have a link.
Speaker 4: We're going to share that link. You can sign up
Speaker 4: with our team. You can it's a Bachelor Nation alumni,
Speaker 4: but we certainly would love.
Speaker 3: You know, anyone to join us. And what day is it?
Speaker 4: So the date is September twenty seventh. That's at UCLA.
Speaker 4: I think the walk starts early, like at nine, but
Speaker 4: all the details are there. It's really a great like
Speaker 4: they do a program and like I said, Eric Bigger works,
Speaker 4: you know, stretches and.
Speaker 3: Kind of gets everyone going.
Speaker 4: He's he's fatily he's going on our cruise by the way,
Speaker 4: and he's a wonderful guy, very positive and is this
Speaker 4: going to be great? So yeah, September twenty seventh, that
Speaker 4: U s l A.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just want to add one more thing to that.
Speaker 1: Not not everybody can walk, not everybody can be in LA,
Speaker 1: but Leslie and I will be putting out a link
Speaker 1: and you know what you can donate and if one
Speaker 1: person's life can be saved, if one person out there
Speaker 1: gets the message and a life is saved, we've we've
Speaker 1: done our bit. And so any donation is any.
Speaker 3: Donation five dollars, I don't care one dollar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just it's about getting the word out there
Speaker 1: because Leslie, as you said, when my husband died by suicide,
Speaker 1: I you know, it's not it's not a topic that
Speaker 1: we talk about. It's okay for parents to die of
Speaker 1: heart attacks or spouses to die of heart attacks or strokes.
Speaker 1: But Sue Side just carries this such a heavy weight,
Speaker 1: and it's to support the survivors and to support people
Speaker 1: who are are contemplating taking their life, which you know,
Speaker 1: saving the life.
Speaker 4: That's what this is about, because you know, what is
Speaker 4: a split second decision that they can't get back.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it'll be on Leslie's in my Instagram, so
Speaker 1: I'll be looking for that, and yeah, we'll get all
Speaker 1: you and any Bachelor Nation people if you're hearing us,
Speaker 1: we love to see you there. We get to answer
Speaker 1: questions Leslie every week, you know the drill. Here we
Speaker 1: give out our golden advice and you are, we hope
Speaker 1: are going to add in your fabulous advice. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, Susan.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I am. I'm always calling you for advice, Kathy.
Speaker 3: I don't know what kind of.
Speaker 1: You got to it out of your shoulders.
Speaker 2: Hi, Kathy, Susan. I'm Danielle, thirty two from Tampa. My
Speaker 2: boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years
Speaker 2: and I recently found out he still has photos of
Speaker 2: his ex all over his phone. Not just old pictures
Speaker 2: buried in his camera roll, I mean a whole favorite
Speaker 2: album that he says he forgot about. He swears he
Speaker 2: never looks at them and that deleting them feels like
Speaker 2: erasing part of his life. Am I making too big
Speaker 2: of a deal out of this? Or would this bother
Speaker 2: you too?
Speaker 3: Should I go first?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Please do?
Speaker 4: It would bother me? I mean, uh, erase it from
Speaker 4: the phone. It's always in the cloud, but erase it
Speaker 4: from the phone.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a practical woman right there.
Speaker 4: Come on, I mean it's twenty twenty six, it's up there.
Speaker 4: So I would say, you're not making a big deal
Speaker 4: about it.
Speaker 3: That would bother me a lot.
Speaker 4: And you know, stick up for yourself girl.
Speaker 3: All I can.
Speaker 2: Say, I wonder if she has any pictures of her past?
Speaker 2: Do you say, somebody do that to me? Make me
Speaker 2: erase every picture of me with anybody else? And I
Speaker 2: resented him for you did, because I didn't want to
Speaker 2: be with those people. But that was a part of
Speaker 2: my life, that was a memory.
Speaker 1: I would like it.
Speaker 2: Either for the guy.
Speaker 1: I'm with you, Leslie. I'm with you, and I will
Speaker 1: go one step further because apparently I'm heartless. I when
Speaker 1: I have when I I mean the one guy did
Speaker 1: for ten months. I think I have an album somewhere,
Speaker 1: but in my case, you think I can find it,
Speaker 1: Like if I'm dating a guy and you can find it,
Speaker 1: I'll happily erase it. I just don't know how to
Speaker 1: find it. I don't want to see I don't care
Speaker 1: about pictures from my ex and I with you, Leslie,
Speaker 1: I don't want to see pictures of my guy and
Speaker 1: his ex girlfriends. No, I don't want to see them.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think he's pulling them up. I think
Speaker 2: she saw the album on his phone. So what is
Speaker 2: your advice to her? Oh?
Speaker 3: Does he know that she saw? No, he knows right.
Speaker 1: Yes, hewet, yes, he swears he never looks at them.
Speaker 1: My advice would be, this is who he is, take
Speaker 1: him or leave him?
Speaker 3: Probably? Yeah?
Speaker 4: On you mind just taking them off your camera? I
Speaker 4: don't know, off your phone?
Speaker 2: What? What? What's the big deal though? If it's on
Speaker 2: his phone or in the cloud.
Speaker 1: Because you can't look at him every day, you have
Speaker 1: to download him out of the cloud.
Speaker 2: Oh so you think she's thinking he's still looking.
Speaker 3: But that's where my mind would go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wouldn't yours? I mean I have to say that, Leslie,
Speaker 1: my mind. Literally, I'm not joking. I don't you know.
Speaker 1: I would know how to find the pictures I went
Speaker 1: hiking with this guy in Colorado. I can't remember what year.
Speaker 1: I mean, I have to spend some real time.
Speaker 3: That's just a little lesson here.
Speaker 4: When you go into your photos, all you have to
Speaker 4: put in the search bar hiking in Colorado and they
Speaker 4: will boom.
Speaker 1: Oh hell, I can delete them all. Thank you, Leslie,
Speaker 1: Danielle good luck.
Speaker 2: I do exactly how you feel, we really do.
Speaker 1: But just make sure.
Speaker 2: Is it worth making him do something that he's not
Speaker 2: comfortable doing. If that's the case, is it worth it?
Speaker 2: You've been together two years?
Speaker 3: Are there other signs? I mean I would look.
Speaker 2: At I mean, oh yeah, there you go. And that's
Speaker 2: that's all it is.
Speaker 3: That's all it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But Leslie, that's genius. See I told you you
Speaker 1: have a smart girl. If there if the pictures in
Speaker 1: and of themselves are nothing to worry about, I agree.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't like it. It would bother me. But Leslie's right.
Speaker 1: Look for other signs, you know, is he going to
Speaker 1: have coffee with or is he doing other things that
Speaker 1: are suspect? Let us know, let us know please. Danielle
Speaker 1: from Tampa. And by the way, she's thirty two, so
Speaker 1: he should know better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: Our next one is Riley and she's from Phoenix. O MG,
Speaker 1: huge fan. She writes, thank you Riley. Okay, I do too.
Speaker 1: I've been dating a woman for about eight months and
Speaker 1: she's incredible. The only problem is that every disagreement turns
Speaker 1: into a three day silent treatment. She says she needs
Speaker 1: space to process. But I'm left wondering, if we're breaking
Speaker 1: up every single time, how much space is healthy in
Speaker 1: a relationship and when does it become emotional punishment?
Speaker 4: What says you, Leslie, I have a great answer to
Speaker 4: that because I was married to a man. I'm not
Speaker 4: throwing him under the bus, okay, because he's a great
Speaker 4: guy and he's a good dad and a good grandfather.
Speaker 4: But every time we get into an argument, it was
Speaker 4: three days silence. It was and then I'm like, what
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 3: What I do? What I do? And I sounded like
Speaker 3: a crazy person.
Speaker 4: And now I'm going to tell you about my son,
Speaker 4: my son and his wife. I was at the restaurant
Speaker 4: the other day with my daughter law and my grandkids,
Speaker 4: and Eli was running around like a crazy person trying
Speaker 4: because he was running the restaurant by himself, and Daphne
Speaker 4: said something to him. She was upset because we were
Speaker 4: moving tables and he kind of rolled his eyes and
Speaker 4: it was long story short.
Speaker 3: She says something to him. He goes, I hear you.
Speaker 3: I love you. I'm sorry, honey, I'm sorry, baby.
Speaker 4: You're right, And then they were hugging and kissing two
Speaker 4: minutes later, and I said to her, I said.
Speaker 3: That was me and his father many many years ago.
Speaker 3: He wouldn't have talked to me for three days. And
Speaker 3: so that sucks, that feeling, that pit in your stomach,
Speaker 3: it sucks. There's got to be a way to move on,
Speaker 3: and you have to. It's all communication.
Speaker 4: And if she's shutting down like that, those that's kind
Speaker 4: of red flags to me.
Speaker 3: I don't want to Wellsley, I don't.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree, But Riley asks when it becomes
Speaker 1: emotional punishment, I would say an hour after she's not
Speaker 1: talking to it becomes I was just going to.
Speaker 3: Say an hour.
Speaker 2: Three days, I'll give you hours, and then you were
Speaker 2: going to have it.
Speaker 3: That's psychological warfare. Three days. Yeah, that's a different thing,
Speaker 3: but that's up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's outrageous. You know, I
Speaker 1: was thinking this was going to be talking when I
Speaker 1: first read this question. I thought we were talking about
Speaker 1: the three day rule, which has to do with dating.
Speaker 1: This is a different kind of ye yeah, this is
Speaker 1: this is that's horrible. And Riley, you know, yeah, stand
Speaker 1: up for yourself girlfriend, because yeah, that is just not
Speaker 1: a good thing.
Speaker 2: And just so you guys know out there, you can
Speaker 2: submit your burning questions to us by going to Bachelor
Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour. Come back each week
Speaker 2: to see if we're answering some of your questions.
Speaker 1: All right now, Leslie, we're gonna do something fun with you.
Speaker 1: We're going to read some sentences and you have to
Speaker 1: finish them. Okay, okay, all right, here's the first one.
Speaker 1: The f the FBI couldn't get me to admit.
Speaker 3: God, why does it have to be question like that?
Speaker 3: The FBI couldn't get me to admit that I did
Speaker 3: text the guy a second time?
Speaker 1: You did, Leslie? I told you, my girl, wait, and
Speaker 1: you still didn't hear back.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm not.
Speaker 1: Wait, wait, delete, Leslie. I need his n even number.
Speaker 1: I'm going to torture him all right.
Speaker 2: Okay, if my therapist is listening, she would say.
Speaker 4: If my therapist was listening, she would say, Leslie, you
Speaker 4: have to put things behind you and move forward.
Speaker 3: You have to let things go.
Speaker 4: It's a new day, that was yesterday and move forward.
Speaker 3: In the past.
Speaker 1: I like it, all right. Let's all three of this
Speaker 1: answer in one with one word, all three of us
Speaker 1: in unison. My dating life could best be described as
Speaker 1: non existent the dead sea. Actually, I've had a few
Speaker 1: dates and I have another one tomorrow night.
Speaker 2: I know you, she's ind there. My family would say,
Speaker 2: I'm always.
Speaker 4: My family would say I'm always there for them.
Speaker 1: That's what mine would say. I bet you tuesuas and.
Speaker 2: My family would say, she's never around. She's always running.
Speaker 2: She's always on to the next project.
Speaker 3: They call I run.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I should probably apologize for.
Speaker 4: I should probably apologize for crying like a baby on
Speaker 4: National TV.
Speaker 1: I don't never.
Speaker 2: I don't know absolutely.
Speaker 3: I know I should probably apologize for. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't think I need to apologize to anyone for.
Speaker 1: That's the answer. There you go.
Speaker 2: I knew I was getting older when.
Speaker 3: It takes me about five minutes to get my body
Speaker 3: going in the morning.
Speaker 4: I'm with you, girl, Getting out of bed is not
Speaker 4: the same even.
Speaker 1: It is not the same.
Speaker 3: No, no, no.
Speaker 1: God, all right. If it sounds like we can only
Speaker 1: answer this together too, If it sounds like a bad idea,
Speaker 1: I've probably done it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If it sounds like a bad idea, I'm right there, it.
Speaker 2: Sounds like a bad idea, I probably won't pay attention
Speaker 2: to that part.
Speaker 1: We're all going to do it, all right.
Speaker 2: The hill I'm willing to die on is what?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 1: What's like with the hill on something? You will die
Speaker 1: that you will not negotiate. I will die on the
Speaker 1: hill for.
Speaker 2: That's about it.
Speaker 4: And my grandchildren because that's a vehicle my Children's a
Speaker 4: vehicle for grandchildren.
Speaker 2: Actually, okay, the most unhinged thing I've done for love
Speaker 2: is what's unhinged?
Speaker 1: What's unhinged?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like what like crazy, like like stalking a guy and
Speaker 1: you know, waiting out in front of his house to
Speaker 1: deliver him a letter professing your love. That's unhinged.
Speaker 3: Well, I've done that.
Speaker 2: Oh I used to do the I did I was.
Speaker 1: I just called to one hingeless.
Speaker 3: It was during COVID. I had to see what he
Speaker 3: was doing. I had nothing else to do.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, wait, I want you to finish this sentence, Leslie.
Speaker 1: The most unhand the most hinge a thing I've done
Speaker 1: for love is.
Speaker 3: The most unhinged thing I've done for love is.
Speaker 4: Oh. Probably when I was younger, I pretended I was
Speaker 4: really sick so they would feel sorry for me.
Speaker 1: No, I want to go back to the guy. I
Speaker 1: wanted you to say what you did.
Speaker 4: See, I've done so many I can't keep it. That
Speaker 4: wasn't love, That was obsession.
Speaker 3: It wasn't love. No, it was.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was just an attraction. For a moment.
Speaker 4: When my husband wasn't talking to me for three days
Speaker 4: because he's giving the salty, I pretended I was sick
Speaker 4: so he would talk to me.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's said.
Speaker 3: It was terrible. I wasn't well.
Speaker 1: That was very creative, Leslie. That is well. Thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for me, and this has been so
Speaker 1: much from Leslie. Thank you for joining us for Golden Bachelor,
Speaker 1: Golden Hour, whatever you would like to change the name.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's Golden Hours, sometimes it's Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour,
Speaker 1: whoever we are, We're so glad you came to die, Leslie,
Speaker 1: I'm so.
Speaker 3: Glad to be here.
Speaker 4: I love you guys so much, and I'm so glad
Speaker 4: that you're in my life because I just.
Speaker 3: Want you to know.
Speaker 4: In three days will be my three year anniversary that
Speaker 4: I left to go on the show. I don't know
Speaker 4: what days you got there, but that's when it was
Speaker 4: for me. Yeah, I remember, because I went back to
Speaker 4: my phone in my pictures and then that's what came
Speaker 4: up me going to the airport.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Okay, other than going down memory Lane here and the
Speaker 1: and the walk versus Prevention of Suicide that you are
Speaker 1: going to do and our cruise, what else is anything
Speaker 1: else going on big in your life? And how do
Speaker 1: people reach you on socials?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm luckily FEMA on Instagram.
Speaker 4: And then I've always got my retreat coming in January
Speaker 4: in the still room. I have about four spots left
Speaker 4: and we have the best time Costa Rica, Tamarindo, January
Speaker 4: fifteenth to the twentieth seven.
Speaker 1: So people can talk to you directly on on the link.
Speaker 4: I always answer people, or they can go to my
Speaker 4: website which is Soul six one two dot com and
Speaker 4: the link is there as well.
Speaker 2: Oh, Leslie, You're a pleasure to have. It's good to
Speaker 2: see you.
Speaker 3: To see you in a few months, all right, I
Speaker 3: can't wait.
Speaker 2: Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen
Speaker 2: to your podcast, and you can follow us on social
Speaker 2: media at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 4: End.
Speaker 2: That's their nation.
Speaker 1: Until next time, have a great week.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next time, y