WEBVTT - Leslie Fhima: Getting Real About Men, Loss, & Major Red Flags | Golden Hour 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.720 Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy and I'm here with. 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:18.360 Susan, and I'm so glad you're feeling better, Kathy better. 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:23.880 Not not perfect yet, but by the time works, yeah, 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.160 I'll be I'll be all better by the time this airs, 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.000 and you know what, I'll stop sneezing and coffee and 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:30.920 you know what, your tan will have faded. 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:37.200 What she's implying was I spent the weekend at. 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:39.199 The beach, and before that, where were you. 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:44.159 Uh, North Carolina's beach? Uh huh, yeah, summer at the 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:45.040 beach pretty much. 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:49.760 Yeah, Susan's at the beach and Kathy's home washing floors, sneezing. 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:52.920 Cough, there you were just this week and don't believe 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:55.840 a word she had. But today, you guys, we have 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.959 a really special to Kathy and I, I can tell 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:02.320 you that, and probably special to you too. Our special 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:06.360 friend from the Golden Matster, Leslie is here. Hi, honey, 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.440 Hi guys, Hi, my friend. 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:13.160 You look so beautiful Todays. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:15.880 Good color on you. I watched you in that pool 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.560 with the weights and I try to do some of those, Leslie, 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:19.320 you'd be proud of. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:20.080 Do you have those? 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:24.880 I just used my regular ones. 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:28.199 Or you can use them, you can use the the two. 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.040 It's just why is it easier in the water? For 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:36.440 oh god, Leslie does a lot of workouts, That's what 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:38.959 she does for a living, teaches people how to be 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.400 in shape. But she does some in the pool. And 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.720 I remember you showed that us on the shell, Remember that, Cappy. 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:50.560 Yes, when we were in Paradise, Leslie Toddy great aerobics 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:53.760 class in the water. It got a little whild people 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.360 trying to ride on each other's shoulders and drowning. But 0:01:56.440 --> 0:02:04.280 yet Leslie is an unbelievable aerobics instructor, dance instructor. And 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.640 on the cruise you're going to be teaching. I'm going 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:07.480 to be in that pool with you. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:11.480 I'm gonna be going to be teaching water and there 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:12.519 could be a flash mob. 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.480 Well I'm gonna come. I'll take pictures for you, but 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:18.880 I'll be at the wine tasting with the fans. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.239 And I'll be for me. 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:29.040 Okay, So, Leslie, you've been, uh, you've lived. You're from Minneapolis, 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:32.160 you grew up there, your kids are there, your grandkids 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:35.000 are there, and you and I talk a lot because 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:37.920 we're good friends. I want the truth I want the 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.960 world to hear. What is the dating scene like in Minneapolis. 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:43.920 Oh wow, we're getting right into it, aren't we. 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:46.880 Wait, did you expect anything? 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:50.880 Like I I'm prepared. I am so prepared right now. 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:55.720 The dating scene is really not I mean, it's not 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:59.160 just my age, like you know, I hear this from. 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:04.320 My younger friends, my kids friends. It's not great. I 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:05.959 don't know what it is about this town. 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:10.120 You know, it's I don't think it's just your town. 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:13.720 Really yeah, yeah, So you're not dating anyone right now. 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:16.400 I'm not dating anyone right now. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.160 I had I put Okay, I put myself out there, 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:21.600 and you know the story, Kathy, because you said you 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.760 were proud of me. I feel stupid, but I mean, 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:27.640 well I listened. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.040 This is a great story, and don't feel stupid, Leslie, 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.280 go ahead tell this story. Well, I mean, so I 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:34.360 took a lot of courage. 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:36.960 So I'm like, okay, I just have to put myself 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.640 out there. The dating apps are crap, so you know, 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.360 I'm thinking, and I'm like, it's going to happen organically. 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.040 So long story, short, short story. 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:48.560 Long. I there was this guy that was coming to 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:52.640 my class last summer and then this summer and he's 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:56.480 really cute, and I'm like, okay, coming to my pilates class. 0:03:56.480 --> 0:04:01.440 He's definitely in shape, and so he we would chat 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:03.960 a little bit like it was a little bit first 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.760 and then maybe the second time a little bit more, 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:08.800 and the third time and you know, he asked me 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:11.600 where I lived and all that stuff. And then and 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.520 I did find out, I mean, it's you know, small town. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:17.000 Plus he's at the club. I did find out that 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:21.320 he was divorced. So of course I'm not gonna you know, 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.120 I wanted to know because you know, he'd come to 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:25.160 a class with his daughter. 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:27.640 And I'm like, I don't if he's married, I don't 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:28.360 want to whatever. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:33.200 And so I'm thinking, you know, I thought I read 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.680 the signs, you know, and so I reached out to 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:39.200 him and I texted him, and you know, I just 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:40.600 said something cute like. 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:45.760 I probably shouldn't be texting you because. 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.200 You were in my class, but don't tell a lifetime 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:50.360 or something, I don't know, something funny like that, and 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:53.240 he goes, oh, your seeker's safe with me. You know, 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.920 thanks for reaching out. I'd love to go have a drink. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.560 I'm sorry I didn't get back to you right away. 0:04:57.600 --> 0:05:00.000 I was in a meeting. I'm going up north this weekend, 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.479 but for sure next week. And then we talked a 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:06.880 couple more times, maybe the next day or something, because 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.400 his daughter was in my class and she's really good. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:15.240 And then I heard nothing, nothing back, and he's not 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.160 been in my class since, and so I feel really stupid. 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:20.640 I feel like I should have left it alone. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.640 Kathy said, I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there. 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:26.559 You know I am. 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.320 I usually don't do stuff like that. 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:30.839 I usually realize there's nothing, don't regret it. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.359 And Leslie, here's the thing, and I said this to 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.680 you when we were on the phone. You don't know 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:39.039 what happened. He may still be interested in you. He 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.080 may have, you know, had something happen to one of 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:45.159 his kids, the ex wife. He had to travel for business. 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.200 The reality is, you don't know. And if it were me, 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.240 and I was waiting for the podcast to say this 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:52.840 to you, if it were me, i'd reach back out 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.159 to him. Oh yes, I would. 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:56.840 I know you would. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.520 I'm just not going for him not to show up 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.839 at the last The only thing I might. 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:02.880 Say, thank you. 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:07.880 Listen exactly what I am not trying to throw myself out. 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:11.640 You please, we're friends, You're come to class. Well, I 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:12.640 have no hard feeling. 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:16.320 I almost said that because it's really blatant that he's 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:17.040 not coming to. 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.800 Class, which tells me feels uncomfortable. 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:24.200 Or or he's got something going on his life. 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.599 Why possibly, But either way you got to think. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:28.600 Well, I mean, you could have a girlfriend. What do 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.279 I know? I don't know, and he probably that's why. 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.120 That's why I agreed to walk for a drink with you, 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:37.120 because he's a girlfriend. No. Wait, let me just say, Leslie, Susan, 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:40.560 this is what I meant earlier. When women don't say, 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:43.120 they don't We don't say what we want, what we need, 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:46.400 what we were to say. I mean what you say. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.560 We were just talking about this before, Leslie. What let 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.839 me say to you? Are you dating him right now? No, 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.560 don't think too hard on the answer. No, what do 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.320 you like? Why I was gonna say? 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.640 I think it was it was a pause because I'm like, well, 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:01.240 of course, no. 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:03.640 I'm gonna I'm making a pointment. Okay, what do you 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.359 have to lose? Oh wait, he's not going to date you. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.920 Oh shoot, he's not dating you now. Oh he's not 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:12.040 going to come back to your class. Oh he's already 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:14.240 not coming back to your class. You have nothing to 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:16.440 lose by, not one thing. 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.560 That being sad, right along that being sad. 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.720 Minneapolis is like a big small town. 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:27.680 And now because I've been on the show, I'm very hesitant. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.040 I don't want I don't want him to say to 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:32.120 his fans, oh my god, that Leslie Femas, she just 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:33.080 won't leave me alone. 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:35.800 Like, I don't want that, you know what I mean. 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:37.800 I'm because I'm not like that. 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:39.920 I'm not begging. You're not begging. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:41.440 I'm not begging anybody. 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:44.400 And no, wait a minute, wait, just one more thing 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:47.120 before we move on. It's not begging. What I would 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:50.720 say is, hey, we're going to get together for drink. 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:53.400 I don't know if something happened, still would love to 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.400 get a drink with you. But if that's not possible, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.040 come back to class, missing you in the class. Something 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.440 light and airy that gives him an entree again, because 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.800 you know what, guys, he may feel stupid that he 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.520 lets so much time elapse and now he's nervous to 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.720 reach out to you. Give yourself a break. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:12.800 If I say. 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:16.240 Anything, it'll be like, you know, Blank, I really wish 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:17.360 you'd come back to class. 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.760 I'm you know, I have. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:25.400 You're not interested, that's cools. You do you want to 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:25.760 or not? 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:27.640 And then you know, I did find it. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:31.000 I did find out how his age and I am 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:35.040 I am significantly older than him, although how much. 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.040 Thirteen years? 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:40.360 All right? 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:44.640 I beat you, and I really and I didn't know. 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.920 I mean, okay, so like we don't always look our age, 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:49.360 and so I didn't know. 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:52.400 And there's nothing wrong with that. 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.439 Nothing. And this is a perfect segue Leslie into our 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:58.240 next topic, which is talking. 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:06.880 About the golden man, the gossip about golden younger women. 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:10.920 So many of the golden Men Mark Jordan, Guy and 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:16.520 Gary Justin and a few are all dating much younger women. 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.679 Does it surprise you? Tell me, what do you think 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:19.400 about It? 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:25.960 Doesn't surprise me at all, because it's everybody knows men 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:30.360 like most men like younger women. I mean, my son 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:35.240 does I mean, like you know what I mean, most 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:36.319 men like younger women. 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:38.360 I mean we like younger men. 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.320 I like younger I mean when people say, do you 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:44.120 like younger men, I'm like, yeah, sixty that's young to me, 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:47.800 or fifty five or fifty eight. 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:51.040 I mean, that's really young to me. But but most 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.000 men want younger women. I mean that's I don't know why. 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.679 For those guys that we just mentioned, I think they 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:01.440 had an advantage with younger women reaching out to them. Yes, 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.240 after being on the show. I mean that gave them a. 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:08.719 Totally they were I'm sure they were inundated with messages 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:13.840 and girls and yeah, so I mean I don't know. 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:18.280 I mean, so it's unfortunate because they all have like partners, 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:20.960 and you know, a lot of us women from the show, 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.000 whether it was our show or the other Golden Bassard Show, 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.640 and a lot of us are single and kind of weird. 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.520 But why, I want to know why, Leslie, Why do 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.000 you think all three of us have had this conversation 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:34.840 But for the rest of the world, who is not 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:39.080 privy to our little secret conversations. Why do you think 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:43.400 men gravitate to younger women because. 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:48.960 They like new, shiny things. And I feel like, you know, listen, 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:53.680 I mean, yeah, skin of my knees sag. I look 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.920 like a sharp pay. When I look down at my knees, I'm. 0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:58.760 Like, I have a dog. I have a sharp pay 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:00.880 in my knees, like I don't know. I mean, I 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.800 don't know. The skin says, I don't know. 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:06.480 I mean, do you think that's that's it? You think 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:07.760 it's because of the body. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.560 Well, I don't know what they would even have in 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:13.960 common with them. I mean they don't usually like the 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:14.680 same music. 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:19.040 They don't. Let you know, they don't know shows that 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.960 we used to watch, they don't. I mean, you know, 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.200 you can sit and talk about back. 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:25.760 In our day, we used to ride our bikes and 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.240 not come home till six at night, and like, what 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.719 do they talk about with these girlfriends? 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:33.040 They you know, they don't understand that. 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.800 But I feel like it's either the body or just 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:41.240 maybe it's like you know, arm again, sex sex. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:43.480 Really, I don't know. 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:44.760 Oh no, it can't be said. 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:45.120 It can't. 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:48.319 Yes it can because guys, again we've had this conversation. 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:52.800 But for those who were listening, al I personally know 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.960 a lot of women in their fifties and sixties who 0:11:56.000 --> 0:12:00.560 have no interest in sex. So men. So I didn't 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.000 say all. I said there are some number of women. 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:05.199 I didn't say us either, by the way, but there 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.760 are some number of women. And I think, Leslie, what 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:12.200 you said, arm Candy is one thing. But also if 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.880 they're dating a new bile thirty something year old, it 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:20.719 makes them feel virile and young, right. 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:23.680 But they haven't had us they haven't found the right 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:25.480 older woman then, you know. 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.920 I mean, younger men love older women. 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:29.480 I know. 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:31.880 But then at the end of the day, I don't 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:36.440 want to really date small children. Or that's my son 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.839 is turning forty in a few days. I'm not dating 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:41.000 anyone younger than him. 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.800 And would you date a forty you? 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:46.320 Huh? 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:47.760 Would you date a forty year old? 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:47.800 No? 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.160 No, it's kind of like, what's your limit? 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.200 Well, I don't know. I've never dated anyone. 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.560 Like my ex husband was three years younger than me, 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:57.720 But that's not young. 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.640 I mean, I don't know. I've never dated anyone like 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:01.719 ten years younger than me. 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:11.200 To be honest, leslie, if one of your friends started 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:15.240 seeing someone and there was a twenty year age gap, 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:18.720 what would your first reaction be? 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:22.800 Twenty years younger? Right, So what would you that means? 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:24.920 Like one of her girlfriends was dating a guy twenty 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:25.600 years younger. 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:29.720 Well, my cousin has been with a man for years, 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.640 twenty years, so when she started dating him, he was 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.719 like thirty twenty nine maybe. 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:39.000 And she was in hell old she was in she. 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:43.040 Was, well, she's seventy three right now, so she was yeah, 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.240 she was No, they're yeah, and there have been together 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.600 for years years, so it does work. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:50.800 So it doesn't it can work. 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:56.120 Yes, I mean, listen, Jordan is dating somebody twenty three 0:13:56.200 --> 0:14:01.600 years younger than he Gary, and she's what fifty eight, 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.320 he's seventy five, that's that. 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.600 I think seventy three three. 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:10.360 No, he's older than I am, Leslie four, he's either's 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:14.680 seventy four or seventy five. Anyway, My point is she's 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.120 what fifty nine, so that's you know, sixteen years younger. 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:18.400 I mean. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.200 The funny thing is on the show, he didn't. He 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.640 kept saying, you're so young, you're too young for me. 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.440 I'm like, it's seven years, it's not that much. 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:31.280 Yeah, you know, that's after I don't think it counts 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:35.120 after sixty. But sometimes, Kathy, to answer your question in 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:39.400 a yet totally different way, some older men are thinking 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.520 they might need taking care of eventually, and they want 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.160 somebody that they're not going to have to take care of, 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.920 that that other person would take care of them. 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.920 But Gary kept Gary kept saying, I don't want anyone 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.160 to have to take care of me when they're young, like, 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.040 you know, being young. And I kept saying, I'm not young. 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:00.600 I mean, I'm six that at that time, I was 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:05.440 sixty four years old. But you know, you know some guy, 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.760 I mean, some of these men are going to get 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.600 old and these girls are going to take care of 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.400 them and they're going to be in their prime, you 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:14.400 know what I mean. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.480 Or they get to I've known women who were young 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.640 who dated older men, had the luxury of their cards, 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.080 their money, all of it, the country clubs, the travel, 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.440 and then when the guy got to a certain age, 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:31.440 boom out divorced, I mean, and that. And you know, 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.040 I'd like to say I'm sympathetic, but I think both 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.840 men and women go into it with their eyes open. Yeah, 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:40.600 so I don't really have somepthy free the one. How 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.200 much do you think money plays a role? 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.240 You know? I think this is where I have found 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:51.520 in the dating scene. Men that have been divorced do 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:56.440 not want to spend money on a woman anymore. I mean, they'll, they'll, they'll, 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.760 they just don't. They want someone that's self sufficient. They 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.320 don't want to have to take care of somebody again, 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:05.600 and they you know, they don't. They don't want to 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.440 leave their money. They don't want to part with their money. 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:08.920 They don't want to use it all up. I mean, 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:10.520 sure they'll take you on a trip or take you 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.000 out for dinner, stuff whatever, but they don't want to 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.240 have to support somebody. 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.760 That's what I have noticed, and people have told me. 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:22.600 That, Leslie. Do you think you've become more selective after 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.760 all your experiences and being over sixty? 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:30.040 Yeah, I mean, I mean it's kind of weird some 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.640 Like after being on the show, I felt like I 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:37.080 gave some things up, like I wasn't so picky. But 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:40.200 then as time goes by and now it's than three years, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.920 I'm like, well, I haven't even been really dating. So 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.040 I feel like, you know what I want, what I want, 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.280 and that's all there is to it. 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:53.080 Otherwise, I have a full life and I have a 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:55.800 great life. I have great kids, great grandkids, and so 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:57.040 I'm okay, you know. 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.640 Not, you know I can't. Yeah, You're not desperate, Leslie 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.920 at all. You're absolutely stunningly beautiful. But I will tell 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.280 you I think the three the thing, the three of 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.919 us and many of the other women from Bachelor have 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:15.280 regards of the season. Have have the same philosophy, which 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.800 is we have weird in age, we have great lives, 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.399 full lives, fun times, and if a man does not, 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.280 I guess I should speak for myself, but I think 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.879 you guys agree. If a man does not add to 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.520 my life, I'm not interested. I don't want to take 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.560 care of a man. I don't want to be worried. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.080 Am I offending him? I don't want I don't want 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:37.919 a guy to walk ahead of me or behind me. 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.080 I want a guy to walk next to me metaphorically 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:42.760 and literally. 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.240 I don't need I want one, that's all. That's a 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:46.159 different you know. 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:49.919 It's like I want somebody to do all the things 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.240 that I want to do. You know, I certainly have 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.399 my friends to do it and my kids whatever, But 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.200 I want someone to go to concert with. I want someone, 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.480 you know, to go to a wedding. I'd like to 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.760 go to a wed with the date, and I have 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:03.160 to go alone all the time. 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.080 You know, you do you believe that your next love 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:07.000 is out there? Leslie? 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.159 I do. I do. 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:11.720 I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. I mean I've been 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.760 I've been diving and doing a little bit. 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:21.120 Of work with Kabbala and it's very interesting and very uplifting, 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.920 and so I have kind of a different mindset, and 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.000 I do think he's out there. I mean, you know, 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.720 my mom used to say there's a man for every woman, 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:32.520 and I used to say, well, just hope he's not 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:33.120 dead yet. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:36.600 So I don't or emotionally available. 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.720 I mean, I don't know where I want. 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.760 I have a question for both of you. Kathy, I 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:47.399 want your answer. And Leslie, what is one quality you 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:55.520 are absolutely unwilling to compromise with when dating somebody? One. 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:57.639 I'm sure we have a few, but just one. 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.640 Are we talking deal breakers or quality? 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:05.320 Yeah? Something that you would not absolutely unwilling you will 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:08.359 no compromise if what is it? 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:13.359 Kathy knows mine that will say it? Should I though, yes? 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:14.480 Why not? 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:19.080 Well, it's just I have from me, I need someone 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:20.520 that has the same moral compass. 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:22.720 So I guess this has to do with politics, but 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:23.840 that's just me. 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:33.240 Yeah, okay, And Kathy, you, uh integrity, Mine is disrespectful. 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:38.480 If they're disrespectful to anybody creatures humans, I can't. 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:38.880 Yeah. 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:43.000 So basically, yeah, my answer is more and that. 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:44.560 Does encompass a lot of things. 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:49.399 Yeah, I think I think we're different now, Leslie. Tell me, 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:52.400 is the guy looking for now, Leslie, different than the 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:54.280 men you were married to or the men you dated 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:57.000 call it ten years ago? Oh yeah, are you looking for? 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:58.120 What are you looking for now? 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:02.679 Well, I'm not gonna throw my husband under the bus. Actually, 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.080 my first sex husband and I are very good, very 0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:05.480 good friends. 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:07.680 We were friends before we dated. It was a high 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:08.160 school thing. 0:20:08.760 --> 0:20:12.600 But I am I am looking for someone that I 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.720 just want to I just want someone to be honest 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:22.240 and and be faithful really, and yeah, I just want 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:24.080