Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, Hello, Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Indificial Expert Podcast,
Speaker 2: where we don't get drumb about what you thought you knew.
Speaker 3: Oh look at that. I like that little you know.
Speaker 3: I got sunglasses on in the stew. Okay, so you
Speaker 3: you somebody thank you this big time. This is my
Speaker 3: Howard Stern persona right now. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm wearing glasses because I don't want to look you
Speaker 4: in your eyes and take away your soul.
Speaker 3: You know, that's how satanic introduction was that. That's how
Speaker 3: I feel right now. Hot, since you know I'm a Christian?
Speaker 3: Why are you hot? Somebody? Somebody touched her butt on
Speaker 3: the train.
Speaker 4: No, you know, this was a this is a weird week.
Speaker 4: I was going through a lot this week, were you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I feel like I saw you a couple of times
Speaker 4: this week. Yeah, but we was at Carolines, and you
Speaker 4: know I was upset after.
Speaker 3: Can we talk about what happened at Caroline? Oh?
Speaker 2: Ye?
Speaker 3: Can we name some names? Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2: So Louis c k dropped in and Sidney was supposed
Speaker 2: to get on stage, and like when when a comic
Speaker 2: that has credits a famous comedian comes into a club
Speaker 2: everybody else who thought they were going up has to wait. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And so he came out and somebody said, oh wait.
Speaker 4: The why was really upset is that another comedian had
Speaker 4: switched with me. He said he had to go and
Speaker 4: he needed to go first, and I was originally first,
Speaker 4: and then he put me all the way towards the end, right,
Speaker 4: So I was upset because he stuck around to watch
Speaker 4: Louis c K.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I thought you had things to do,
Speaker 3: and he was like, I'm not gonna leave. Louis c
Speaker 3: K's here, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, that's what all the women said about him. Also, yeah,
Speaker 2: they couldn't leave because Louis.
Speaker 3: C K was there. Damn, you don't do that. Okay,
Speaker 3: that's the notes. Wow Jesus.
Speaker 2: Anyway, he came out and he was He had a
Speaker 2: joke where he talked about his penis, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I feel like only a white man in America in
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen can get accused of what he got accused
Speaker 2: of and then get on stage and talk about his dick.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's that's like the right climate for this.
Speaker 2: But they were here for it. I mean like they enjoyed.
Speaker 4: Him will cho as crazy is that we just had
Speaker 4: that hearing with doctor Ford and everything, and it's just like,
Speaker 4: this is not the week to do this. You should
Speaker 4: just still take a seat and be in your attic
Speaker 4: or your basement and chilled. Can you just be on ice? Yeah,
Speaker 4: Like we don't need your opinion or your jokes right now.
Speaker 4: They not that good.
Speaker 2: They not that good.
Speaker 4: Like what made me so upset was that everybody in
Speaker 4: the room was key key king at this man, and
Speaker 4: I was like, dude, there was another comic who was
Speaker 4: funnier than him before well actually actually.
Speaker 3: Yes, and then one after that was.
Speaker 2: He was a professional gross ass comedian and people enjoyed him.
Speaker 2: Somebody said that because there was one person that was
Speaker 2: clapping longer than everybody else, and that person apparently was
Speaker 2: standing like gave him a standing ovation by himself. Just
Speaker 2: one person in this comedy club decided they were going
Speaker 2: to stand and.
Speaker 3: Salute this dude like he was a vent.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so after he got off, it's the it's
Speaker 4: a little hard for other comedians to go up and
Speaker 4: do their thing because the the audience was already like.
Speaker 3: They're already nut next they already nutted.
Speaker 4: They were like well I came and I can leave
Speaker 4: now or I'm just not going to give people the
Speaker 4: energy that they deserve. And that's exactly what was happening,
Speaker 4: Like they were just so lukewarm, and it's like, dude,
Speaker 4: this guy Louis didn't even do his job. Those were
Speaker 4: it was his open mic, pretty right. He had a
Speaker 4: piece of paper and he was reading off.
Speaker 2: He was talking about you know whatever I popped into
Speaker 2: his head on the train today or whatever.
Speaker 4: And so I got online and uh, the person you
Speaker 4: blasted somebody. I blasted the person because I called him
Speaker 4: a dick rider. And obviously that's a triggering word for men,
Speaker 4: because men were all in my dms like well, why
Speaker 4: is he a dick writer?
Speaker 3: And it's like I'm.
Speaker 2: Because let me see what the what the post is
Speaker 2: doing on Facebook.
Speaker 4: Well, I've been out after the post and people came
Speaker 4: up to me, thank you, thank you so much for
Speaker 4: writing that.
Speaker 3: Thank you think we appreciate you. And I was like,
Speaker 3: they're giving you standing ovations, like you're a vent.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, but it's just like you don't need
Speaker 4: to watch this. I was stuck in the room watching
Speaker 4: him because the dressing room was being occupied by somebody else.
Speaker 4: Otherwise I wouldn't have watched his set, But I was like,
Speaker 4: why are we giving him the attention that he obviously
Speaker 4: is here for. If everybody turned his back while he
Speaker 4: was doing his jokes, he would be like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: not wanted here. I'm not wanted at all, and I
Speaker 4: probably wouldn't do this.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, let's read the follow up post that Sidney
Speaker 2: put on.
Speaker 3: I missed this. It's like seventy nine comments.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sidney said, half, y'all comedians would barely sit around
Speaker 2: to watch your own friends do a set, but y'all
Speaker 2: stayed to watch Luis c k trash.
Speaker 3: It's dick writing.
Speaker 2: It's oh, he's one of the greats, so fucking what
Speaker 2: he was pulling his dick out.
Speaker 3: And being mad weird with women.
Speaker 2: Nah, I don't want to watch his set or any
Speaker 2: person who is that disrespectful. Legends can be garbage too,
Speaker 2: and I'm not standing with him.
Speaker 3: For the love of comedy.
Speaker 2: Sidney, give me an what's a angela ride?
Speaker 3: Angela ride? Shut up?
Speaker 5: Marie.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I guess that was my expertise, just calling
Speaker 4: people out and not standing for the bullshit. Thank you,
Speaker 4: thank you so let's crappy. Some snap, somebody gets some
Speaker 4: snaps some okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: Snap, some hitting your heels, clicking your heels guys.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think that we need to call out
Speaker 4: more people as much as possible, because this is the time.
Speaker 3: Yes, the time. Why not why not say you're fresh?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Why not call somebody a dick rider? Yeah, I'm beauty.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it. Were you an expert?
Speaker 2: See my expertise seems real little compared to yours. Now,
Speaker 2: but I have pretty big week, Sis. This week, I
Speaker 2: decided I was going to go on a date every
Speaker 2: single day with a different man.
Speaker 3: And because I'm on the app right, yes, And.
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, it's in your pocket, it's
Speaker 2: on your phone sometimes you like, somebody send you a
Speaker 2: message you don't really want to respond.
Speaker 3: Made no excuse, Sis, you did what you did?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, no no no, I'm taking a step.
Speaker 2: I just want to say something. I don't always respond
Speaker 2: to stuff like I'm not really active on the app
Speaker 2: Busy Bliss and so uh, my roommate is on the
Speaker 2: same app as me, and she hasn't gone on a
Speaker 2: single date and she's like, well, I'm looking for a husband.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you need to get off that app.
Speaker 3: You're doing these apps. You're dating wrong. You need to
Speaker 3: do the Christian minglers. I went on a date on
Speaker 3: Monday with the dude because he had a printer. Sis.
Speaker 3: He had a printer in his building and that's why.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know that coming into it, because technically
Speaker 2: I went out for the tacos and then he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: because we went to lunch and he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: do you want to come drink on my roof?
Speaker 3: And I was like, it's four o'clock.
Speaker 4: It's four o'clock and it's overcast, like if there's no
Speaker 4: real reason, it was real foggy.
Speaker 2: But I had some stuff that I needed to print out,
Speaker 2: and I said to him, well do you have a
Speaker 2: printer And he said, I have a printer in my building.
Speaker 2: And I said, well, I guess I'm coming.
Speaker 3: Your house then.
Speaker 2: So I went to this house and he was trying
Speaker 2: to get me to stay. You're like, no, honey, I
Speaker 2: got my ship printed out. I gotta get these ten
Speaker 2: pages and go, and then I left and he unmatched
Speaker 2: me work.
Speaker 3: He unmatched me.
Speaker 2: So, but the printer is in his lobby, So me
Speaker 2: and the concierge are cool in the building now. So
Speaker 2: now I have a place to print free Sydney. Do
Speaker 2: you need some stuff printed this week? Girl?
Speaker 3: Listen, I got you email it to me and then
Speaker 3: I'm pop in see his coss beautiful.
Speaker 4: And this is why I love Marie because she gets
Speaker 4: what she wants. She puts it out there in the universe.
Speaker 4: She throws it at the wall and it always comes back.
Speaker 2: I mean, I also really want some money, universe, Universe,
Speaker 2: throw some money in my face.
Speaker 3: It's gonna go.
Speaker 2: And then Tuesday I went out with uh, this like
Speaker 2: Italian dude that didn't speak no English.
Speaker 3: But you know, how was that exists? Were you Rosetta
Speaker 3: Stone in it?
Speaker 4: Or you were just Oh, you know what's fun is
Speaker 4: like when people people speak and you kind of try
Speaker 4: to guess what they're talking about.
Speaker 3: That's fun. You met a whole Congress conversation was a
Speaker 3: whole corson.
Speaker 2: I mean he was trying, you know, he was trying
Speaker 2: to speak English, and I was like, yeah, should we
Speaker 2: get more margarite? That was me on the rooftop with
Speaker 2: this man that like, I'm probably never going to see
Speaker 2: it again.
Speaker 3: You went to another roof. Yeah, I went to another roof.
Speaker 3: You're not trying to live.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to time real estate to like kill
Speaker 4: somebody a roof.
Speaker 3: No, yes, it.
Speaker 2: Is when white people are gathered drinking on a roof.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: They're not gonna kill you in an alley downstairs, yes,
Speaker 2: but not a roof.
Speaker 4: When do you ever watch those like crime movies where
Speaker 4: like the bad guys on the roof and then the
Speaker 4: good guys on the roof, and then they have a
Speaker 4: scuffle and you're.
Speaker 2: Calling me the bad guy or the good guy? Who
Speaker 2: am I in this scenario? You use the niggas with
Speaker 2: a printer?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it was an ink jab.
Speaker 2: There was black and color black listen I got. I
Speaker 2: got a black and white print out in color. I
Speaker 2: was like, can we print that out in navy?
Speaker 3: I love that?
Speaker 2: Got cole bolt. So that's what I was doing. And
Speaker 2: uh then my streak ended.
Speaker 3: So two dates, five days. The Lord had to humble you.
Speaker 3: I was like, you didn't take a break. Take a break.
Speaker 2: He was like, that's enough tequila for you. But I
Speaker 2: think that I'm gonna I'm gonna do, like keep doing it.
Speaker 2: I might do like an Asian week, and then like
Speaker 2: a Shark week, and then like a black actually.
Speaker 3: The Black Shark week. Whatever.
Speaker 2: I just I feel like I'm gonna go out with
Speaker 2: people who like I just why not.
Speaker 3: Out of you?
Speaker 4: I totally am down with this. And you know, if
Speaker 4: you ever want to just third will me. I'm here
Speaker 4: for it.
Speaker 3: Oh you want me to do it? Three something?
Speaker 4: Yeah, just be like, hey, I really feel comfortable if
Speaker 4: my my hot friend comes as well, say I'm hot,
Speaker 4: so that you know. And then I'll come in like
Speaker 4: a button down or a turtleneck and be like hey guys,
Speaker 4: and I'll bring a book.
Speaker 2: Come on, let's have fun.
Speaker 3: With this, Marie. Okay, cool, let's do that. Let's do it.
Speaker 2: Avatars do a week when I just keep bringing Sydney
Speaker 2: to dates, I'm doing it.
Speaker 3: Speaking of bringing people. Wait, wait, wait, Marie, there was
Speaker 3: one thing.
Speaker 5: What happened.
Speaker 3: There was a d M and we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 3: go by it today. How we have to.
Speaker 2: Be Oh yeah, somebody's sliding my dms and.
Speaker 3: You want to read it? Oh on, let me pull
Speaker 3: out the receipts. I love when the guests give us feedback.
Speaker 3: We need it. Sometimes you know what I mean. By
Speaker 3: the way, keep writing those.
Speaker 2: Reviews, y'all, keep writing the reviews.
Speaker 3: Keep giving us stars, all the stars. We need them.
Speaker 3: It's so important. Okay, this comes.
Speaker 2: From a listener Nedra underscore eighty eight work. She said,
Speaker 2: I love you guys and think you are both super funny.
Speaker 2: But y'all gotta let the guests speak sometimes, like we
Speaker 2: want to hear what they have to say, if they're
Speaker 2: an expert at something. When you cut them off, speak
Speaker 2: over them, or don't listen to what they say, you
Speaker 2: break their momentum and it takes away from the overall
Speaker 2: greatness of the show. Sometimes, like the cool Mom episode
Speaker 2: that was last week that I'm listening to right now,
Speaker 2: or last week's episode about sex sex date shout out
Speaker 2: to Maley Austin. I can literally hear the guests fighting
Speaker 2: to get the words across. Well, we're gonna try not
Speaker 2: to be rude today, but probably will be a little
Speaker 2: bit rude today.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, Our guests can handle us.
Speaker 4: She she's dealt with us on many occasion, and she's
Speaker 4: at the same time, at the same damn time.
Speaker 3: She got it. Okay, Well, but I'm gonna take a seatback.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you rot. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Episode is gonna be dry as because we're gonna be like,
Speaker 3: can I can I speak? Yeah? Can I have the floor?
Speaker 3: Can we raise her hand to get a little bell? Listen?
Speaker 2: If you're holding the donut box, then the exable, then
Speaker 2: you get to speak.
Speaker 3: Do you want to do that?
Speaker 2: No? I guess today is like a super funny comedian.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, truly adorable.
Speaker 2: She called us her moms, which is a little bit
Speaker 2: so rude, but like cool moms, like cool gay moms. Yes,
Speaker 2: like if full House had black people on it. She's
Speaker 2: a hilarious comic. Y'all won't love her.
Speaker 3: And she just celebrated her birthday. Yes, she did that.
Speaker 3: I missed because I was busy.
Speaker 2: Give it up for the very funny hour Free loading Expert.
Speaker 3: It's I owe a debois.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I guys, do you have anything that you wanted to
Speaker 3: weigh in on?
Speaker 1: On?
Speaker 3: What that what we talked about? Yeah? What if?
Speaker 5: I was just like, oh, I don't really want to
Speaker 5: talk this episode. You guys can just talk?
Speaker 3: No, we need God?
Speaker 5: So wow, okay, And she is wearing glasses in the
Speaker 5: stewed folks in the suits. Absolutely in the studie. We
Speaker 5: got two glasses.
Speaker 3: We have another pair of glasses for the guests.
Speaker 5: I would love to put some where.
Speaker 3: Actually I do.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, of course you're doing all right, Well,
Speaker 5: here I go. You'll feel it. You'll feel the difference.
Speaker 5: You'll hear the difference.
Speaker 3: When I put them on.
Speaker 4: And they're really fun there. They're very like Grace Jones is.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, great, I feel like I'm in a pull.
Speaker 2: Up to my bump bye bye, even.
Speaker 5: Like in like, I feel like I look like I'm
Speaker 5: in ray Is that is that?
Speaker 3: Arts? You feel like?
Speaker 5: I feel like I look like I'm wearing glasses? That
Speaker 5: that like a three Blind Mice cartoon?
Speaker 3: Can you give us? Can you give us a heroine shimmy? Yeah? Absolutely,
Speaker 3: like a heroine.
Speaker 5: Took women's head.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I almost like, well that, I mean.
Speaker 3: The movie, that's what half of the movie was.
Speaker 2: Charles like, women would shake his hand and he would
Speaker 2: like touch their wrist and if like the risk felt sexy,
Speaker 2: he was like, oh that mean she hot.
Speaker 5: That was fully like one of the first like sexy
Speaker 5: movies that I like I watched, I feel like as
Speaker 5: a or just it had a sexy movie.
Speaker 2: It was it had a sexy It was a.
Speaker 3: Dude addicted to heroin playing.
Speaker 5: So anyways, I was a kid and I thought it
Speaker 5: was hot. Just having a really strange sort of memory
Speaker 5: of remembering being in the scene.
Speaker 3: That I like your I like your outlook on that.
Speaker 2: But there's a keyboard right there you turned on right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we might have to get you on the on the
Speaker 2: forever dog little instead doing a little right Charles bit, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: you are black, but you won't be Black List.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you. So yeah, way in on some
Speaker 3: stuff my friend.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the whole like uh Louis c K
Speaker 5: thing that just makes me so annoyed, especially after I
Speaker 5: feel like just like the whole hearings and everything. I
Speaker 5: had a show recently also where after my set a
Speaker 5: guy in the audience came up to me and was like,
Speaker 5: I was wearing this like oversized jacket and he was like,
Speaker 5: I wish you had you took that jacket off so
Speaker 5: I could see more of you. And I was like,
Speaker 5: did you hear any of the jokes that I said
Speaker 5: when I was talking about like for five minutes, And
Speaker 5: I was like, no.
Speaker 3: No, the jacket was too big. Did'd you hear me?
Speaker 2: All the sound was absorbed by your jacket?
Speaker 3: I mean you, I mean you could take that jacket off.
Speaker 3: You guys in my shoulders?
Speaker 5: Well, thank you.
Speaker 3: I just want to I just want to see more
Speaker 3: of your shoulder.
Speaker 5: It's a little stressful. How hot my shoulders. It's a burden.
Speaker 3: Let me see a little, just a little, just a little.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I am I'm that's a sports and
Speaker 2: that's a sports bru.
Speaker 3: Did you work out today?
Speaker 5: Uh no, some guys should just want to feel sort
Speaker 5: of smushed, smushed, Yeah, a little flat.
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how like young you sound you are?
Speaker 3: How old are you?
Speaker 5: I just turned twenty three?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I like everybody in her is twenty three.
Speaker 4: I'm actually twenty five, but thank you. I just looked
Speaker 4: twenty three, fossil.
Speaker 2: Why did you come but you just turned twenty three?
Speaker 3: Where are you from?
Speaker 5: Like, I'm originally I'm from Boston, and then I went
Speaker 5: to NYU and I still n y you.
Speaker 2: Okay, you got seventy nine thousand dollars a year for school?
Speaker 5: No, I got a deep scholarship.
Speaker 3: I believe that. I feel like you're a hard worker.
Speaker 4: I feel like you stay in your laptop and always
Speaker 4: working on some type of paper or dissertation.
Speaker 3: We should call you a nerd suit a little bit,
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 5: Listen, I'll own it. My parents, my dad's from Nigeria,
Speaker 5: is from Barbados, and so those are two like you
Speaker 5: have to achieve, like you have no choice but to
Speaker 5: achieve countries.
Speaker 3: I feel like I didn't know Nigerians were allowed to
Speaker 3: marry non Nigerians. I mean we found out.
Speaker 2: I feel like the weddings are very like traditional. So
Speaker 2: the Beasian mom was also, she had like the beads.
Speaker 5: She they didn't do like a huge traditional traditional wedding
Speaker 5: because my dad's kind of like simple dude. But yeah,
Speaker 5: well and so that's sort of and so we'll get
Speaker 5: back around to that. But he listened. He loved to save.
Speaker 5: But my mom loves that stuff. Like we went to
Speaker 5: my aunt got married recently and there was like a
Speaker 5: big wedding. It was in Boston. It was three days long.
Speaker 3: What three days?
Speaker 4: We gotta push her down several flights of stairs. How
Speaker 4: dam are they providing food for the whole three days? Yeah,
Speaker 4: this lunch and did well. So it's like the.
Speaker 5: First day is like it's like traditional and it's like
Speaker 5: the introduction, so it's just like the families meet each
Speaker 5: other and then they do these like Nigerian rights, and
Speaker 5: then like the second day is another traditional wedding and
Speaker 5: that's like but like everybody comes to that, and then
Speaker 5: there's like dancing and this like games and whatever and
Speaker 5: more traditional stuff. And then that's lots of food, lots
Speaker 5: of dancing, and then the third day was like an
Speaker 5: American wedding, white dress.
Speaker 4: Wait, how do you first of all, how expensive are
Speaker 4: these three days?
Speaker 3: Get into it? Do I need to meet a Nigerian man?
Speaker 5: I think honestly both, yes. And Nigerian Week, you know,
Speaker 5: have a Nigerian Week, and then I think you deserve it.
Speaker 3: You treat yourself.
Speaker 5: It sort of will be a little bit of punishment.
Speaker 5: You're a Haitian, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Spiritually the men sort of they're the same, the same,
Speaker 2: They're the same, And that's why I don't want to
Speaker 2: actually date a Nigerian man.
Speaker 3: But like an American eyed.
Speaker 5: An americanized one. Yeah, and he's like a doctor or
Speaker 5: something because his parents are like you have to be
Speaker 5: a doctor, and he listened to them.
Speaker 3: Doctor lawyer, engineer.
Speaker 5: Well he's all of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but Marie got a lip. You know, she talked
Speaker 3: too damn much.
Speaker 4: So I don't think a Nigerian man who work in
Speaker 4: all the hours is going to let her talk like that.
Speaker 2: You're gonna hit her in the mouth, that's yeah, just
Speaker 2: poop you.
Speaker 5: Where are you from? You're from the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 3: Where are you?
Speaker 2: Froum? Just sorry that ain't exist? Okay, give me a
Speaker 2: Nigerian accent. Oh no, I'm nervous now.
Speaker 3: Well, well, because you got the floor.
Speaker 5: It's not been on forever dog, but I but but
Speaker 5: I feel like I haven't been on the podcast where
Speaker 5: the black people listen.
Speaker 3: I feel like this is the one where the black pep.
Speaker 3: It's the white people. It's white people in Australia. Listen, everybody, girl,
Speaker 3: This is for the masses, that's true. This is for
Speaker 3: the people.
Speaker 2: Oh hi people, I mean you know, our people popular,
Speaker 2: Their people are listening.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, So so you talk to us about
Speaker 4: who you are.
Speaker 2: You're twenty three, You're thriving, Your your hair is moisturized,
Speaker 2: your skin is glowing a little smushed right now.
Speaker 3: That's like your book. It mates your boobs thank you.
Speaker 5: You gotta do it. Some days you just gotta be flat.
Speaker 3: That's okay.
Speaker 2: Sydney doesn't believe that Sydney's booms always gott to be
Speaker 2: presented propped up. God, I gotta yeah a bunch of
Speaker 2: boobs that they look like they're protruding through the jacket.
Speaker 5: It's just like you're perky.
Speaker 2: That's what they're fake. They should understand money. If they
Speaker 2: was all the way down to my knees, I'll be
Speaker 2: a very be a problem.
Speaker 3: They're like, well, you wanted the natural look, so we.
Speaker 5: Put them in your knees. We just put them there,
Speaker 5: just got ahead of it.
Speaker 2: So how long are implants good for? Like do you
Speaker 2: have to like up keep like.
Speaker 3: Say ten years?
Speaker 2: Oh nice, yeah, you got to go back dope decade
Speaker 2: titties Hell yeah, you guys, so you get you have
Speaker 2: to get them, like you got to re up on
Speaker 2: your boobs in ten years. Oh, I can't wait till
Speaker 2: I book a book of show show. I'm getting new
Speaker 2: titties with that money.
Speaker 3: Some eleven, get some Fox.
Speaker 4: Don't let me get no Netflix, because hunty, you won't
Speaker 4: even be able to see my face.
Speaker 3: How big the titty is.
Speaker 5: Gonna be that four of them.
Speaker 3: Just get four.
Speaker 2: If you get get some on your back.
Speaker 3: Why not, I'll do it. Do it for the kids.
Speaker 3: I feel like you look like they are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are sort of larger than they appear, right,
Speaker 2: I feel like my booth do that sometimes.
Speaker 5: Sometimes, Yeah, I left this motion. Then it's like, hey,
Speaker 5: surprise they are here. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4: I'm like your vibe because you're young and you already
Speaker 4: know you got the body.
Speaker 3: And if you don't want to hurt nobody, so you're
Speaker 3: gonna wait.
Speaker 4: You're gonna wait till you turn twenty six, and it's
Speaker 4: gonna be like bam it iver.
Speaker 5: I mostly don't want to hurt myself.
Speaker 2: You know, your back's bothering you.
Speaker 5: There's a sort of like gentle gaze and nod that's
Speaker 5: happening right now. I think it's like really crucial to
Speaker 5: know that when this question is being asked.
Speaker 2: Okay, so are you are you dating in the streets?
Speaker 2: You're young, attractive, you're smart.
Speaker 3: I know, make some money.
Speaker 5: I yeah, trying to. I don't know. I really don't
Speaker 5: like dating very much. It's because she's working, because I'm working.
Speaker 3: Okay, because I'm unemployed. You're saying I got time to
Speaker 3: like dating.
Speaker 5: No friend, No, I don't know. It's it's like it's
Speaker 5: kind of boring for me.
Speaker 2: I feel like dating, yeah, because you're dating boring dudes, okay,
Speaker 2: and so sort of okay, drag me, I mean, drag me.
Speaker 2: I feel like I can't find a happy media Like
Speaker 2: it's either like they're boring or they're crazy. But then
Speaker 2: I do know that it's like because I think it's
Speaker 2: like in the back of my mind and group very
Speaker 2: Christian and like a lot of my friends right now
Speaker 2: are like married or have kids, like be like Pentecostal
Speaker 2: twenty three. Yeah, your friends are trash.
Speaker 5: No, they're just Christian, And so you sort of leave
Speaker 5: that to where that, you know, let those two sentences
Speaker 5: find those space between that that's true. But like I
Speaker 5: feel like my impulse is actually to like, oh, I
Speaker 5: should be in love and like you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: just because I was like raised like that for so long.
Speaker 3: I was raised like that, but I don't believe.
Speaker 2: That I have.
Speaker 5: So I just feel like I have to, like I
Speaker 5: either I'm just like okay, I have to keep dating
Speaker 5: people who I'm not actually interested in or not I'll.
Speaker 3: Be like yeah, stuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just don't do it if you're not interested in
Speaker 2: them at all and they not spending three days worth
Speaker 2: a wedding money on you, think that's true.
Speaker 3: Just focus on your work. I was raised straight as fuck.
Speaker 3: Look at me, now, let's get that on some jackets.
Speaker 5: That's very on each arm, on each arm, or like.
Speaker 3: Down the pant leg. So wait, what did you go
Speaker 3: to school for.
Speaker 5: I studied, uh, playwriting? Really? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 3: I did not know that.
Speaker 2: For four years?
Speaker 3: No, I.
Speaker 5: So I was studying to be a teacher, and so
Speaker 5: I did that for two and then that was also
Speaker 5: like my being like don't worry mom and dad like
Speaker 5: I'll do improv that night, sort of toxic. And then
Speaker 5: I was like okay, that doesn't make any sense. And
Speaker 5: so I transferred to a writing program in n y
Speaker 5: U and got in, and then my dad was like okay,
Speaker 5: good luck.
Speaker 3: They're like bye, that was nice.
Speaker 5: Yeah, They're like good, we're happy for you by good
Speaker 5: luck with money, but like cool, that's a decision that
Speaker 5: you made. But yeah, studied that.
Speaker 2: So let's talk about many. So do you have you
Speaker 2: come from a big family?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so my dad has twenty sisters, twenty sisters, brothers.
Speaker 3: You say twenty kids, My.
Speaker 5: Dad's got twenty kids. No, he has twenty brothers and sisters,
Speaker 5: and my mom has twelve.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's like ninety uncles.
Speaker 5: I mean about yeah, we have, like I have, like
Speaker 5: truly hundreds of cousins.
Speaker 2: And so where are all these aunts and uncles.
Speaker 5: So on my dad's side, my my grandfather had three
Speaker 5: wives and so.
Speaker 3: That's true to the culture.
Speaker 5: And so my dad is the oldest of the first wives,
Speaker 5: and all those kids went to America basically, and then
Speaker 5: the second wife, all those kids went to Europe, and
Speaker 5: then the third wife. The kids like kind of split
Speaker 5: back and forth and now they live here.
Speaker 2: That means like you could literally like you probably know
Speaker 2: people in like every country.
Speaker 5: Oh literally, I've like been to Europe before and like
Speaker 5: and before I even knew that like met them at them,
Speaker 5: we just knew that we were family. They were like,
Speaker 5: oh yeah, stay in, stay here, don't spend any money.
Speaker 4: That sucks because like what if you try to hook
Speaker 4: up and you're like, wait, my cousin, it could be
Speaker 4: mad cousins over here, I mean obviously.
Speaker 5: And so sort of and that's kind of why I'm
Speaker 5: like I am afraid to date any Nigerian people just
Speaker 5: because we might end up related.
Speaker 2: Honestly and truly, that's a that's a real fear. And
Speaker 2: he hey, you know what I mean Nigerian. I mean
Speaker 2: you're dating everybody else, everybody any other country. Not just kidding,
Speaker 2: but yeah, that's like that side.
Speaker 5: And then my mom most of the people are either
Speaker 5: in Barbados or here, but it's like very big, like
Speaker 5: extended family. And then both of my parents met and
Speaker 5: were like, oh, one kid. Oh we're not a one child,
Speaker 5: Like so you're an only child.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just me and my oldest parents.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You know what, when I talk sometimes i'm around you,
Speaker 4: I feel you give me like only child vibes.
Speaker 5: I mean, I yeah, then that's that's it's not I
Speaker 5: don't know what if that's good or bad.
Speaker 3: No, it's good. It's good.
Speaker 2: Honestly, as I'm a middle child and I don't pick
Speaker 2: up really on only child vibes.
Speaker 3: I feel like only children are weird for actually an
Speaker 3: only child.
Speaker 2: Actually, no, I'm I'm the first girl, okay.
Speaker 3: And I'm a middle kid, right, and I'm a middle kid.
Speaker 5: All my cousins like for the most part, most of
Speaker 5: them are dudes, and so like they they all I
Speaker 5: was kind of like baby sister to a lot of them.
Speaker 5: But then it's like me and my parents and they
Speaker 5: also because they both like most of my aunts and
Speaker 5: uncles have like a lot of kids, right, and then
Speaker 5: my parents like waited till they were like in their
Speaker 5: thirties and which which now isn't that no, because I
Speaker 5: feel like I'm gonna get forty eight, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Be Jene Jackson fret.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I just feel like it's like the Christian
Speaker 5: thing plus the immigrant thing, like they were kind of
Speaker 5: like outliers in the sense they're one kid, We're gonna
Speaker 5: wait until we can actually afford to have a kid. Also, yeah,
Speaker 5: and so I.
Speaker 2: Mean like, if you're gonna have a baby, I feel
Speaker 2: like the best way to do it is when.
Speaker 3: You're not poor. You know.
Speaker 5: It feels just like kind when you're.
Speaker 3: Not that poor, because poor people can have babies.
Speaker 2: Look at my parents, Look at my parents, I mean
Speaker 2: parent I feel like my mom just had just it
Speaker 2: was just hers. Yeah, like got some sperm off the street,
Speaker 2: off the street, yeah, just off the street sperm and
Speaker 2: then just have makes.
Speaker 5: I feel like I will sort of do a version
Speaker 5: of that.
Speaker 3: At some point. Really, yeah, you Turkey based it, maybe, Yeah, what.
Speaker 2: Are your requirements for the for the Turkey baster? Like
Speaker 2: what he got to what do you have to have
Speaker 2: or be?
Speaker 5: He should be tall?
Speaker 4: Obviously, Well that's what. Have you ever been to the
Speaker 4: sperm bank? That's a requirement you have to be?
Speaker 3: I have five more. They will not accept sperm.
Speaker 2: Sperm banks looking at what the requirements.
Speaker 4: Oh, there was this guy who was at an open
Speaker 4: mic talking about he was like trying to get money
Speaker 4: and he was trying to donate his sperm and they're like, ah, you're.
Speaker 2: Five five damn, we want no parts.
Speaker 3: And I was like, why does the sperm bank have better? Requirements?
Speaker 3: Are like standards most like the most? Yes, that's crazy.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's such a nice way to think
Speaker 5: of it. It's like I I have to think of
Speaker 5: myself as a sperm bank, you know, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: but like it's like I have to think of myself
Speaker 5: as a sperm bank because the sky high tall and
Speaker 5: do you have to you know background check?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're crazy.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you guys are insane, absolutely out of my mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you. Because I'm a lesbian, so I
Speaker 3: have to go have to.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, actually, I feel like my partner, whoever it may be,
Speaker 4: is gonna say, hey, why don't we just get a friend,
Speaker 4: Why don't we get his sperm?
Speaker 3: Right? Because you know, we gotta cut corners.
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, use one of ninety eight cousins.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 5: And here's what I'll say. Some of them are very
Speaker 5: tall and some of them are.
Speaker 4: You know, I saw the pictures on your Instagram from
Speaker 4: your yeah.
Speaker 3: That sort of.
Speaker 5: Honestly, I might have to stop posting my family because
Speaker 5: there are people who will be like, who's that cousin? Yeah,
Speaker 5: who's that? Uh?
Speaker 3: I introduced me to one of your cousin's girl. What's
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 5: Listen next wedding? There's some, there's some in New York.
Speaker 5: If you want to come to a Nigerian wedding, I'll
Speaker 5: get three dress. No, yeah, get you. We'll get your
Speaker 5: dress and we'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 5: You'll just do one.
Speaker 4: Story is so wonderful, let's get into it. So I
Speaker 4: really want to get into this. Uh free loading.
Speaker 3: Well, you have to, you're young.
Speaker 4: We gotta we gotta survive. Yeah, I love it because
Speaker 4: after school, it's like, yeah, you're on your own.
Speaker 5: Right I am. And also my parents were very much
Speaker 5: like I mean even in school they and not in
Speaker 5: a like bad way or whatever, but just realistically they
Speaker 5: weren't like doing the n YU were going to pay
Speaker 5: for every single second of your life. They were like,
Speaker 5: all right, you made this decision. You're an adult, like
Speaker 5: you have to understand how money works.
Speaker 2: And so when you were like low on cash, as
Speaker 2: like a freshman or a sophomore, you couldn't be like, hey,
Speaker 2: can you put some money uh in my account and
Speaker 2: my dad would be like why that was my dad too.
Speaker 2: But I always was just like for books. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was always for I need more money for books. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I was not using the money for books.
Speaker 5: No, I mean, no, are you selling your swipes?
Speaker 3: I before.
Speaker 5: Before I I love a good n y U scam.
Speaker 5: One of my more favorite scams was I used my
Speaker 5: like so they gave me a financial aid package for housing.
Speaker 3: Yes, and then you got the you got reimbursed and I.
Speaker 5: I got reimbursed and so then I didn't live in
Speaker 5: housing and I and I like used that money to
Speaker 5: write an apartment, which was like thousands of dollars cheaper
Speaker 5: per month than the n YU housing. And then I
Speaker 5: used that extra money for like stuff that I wanted,
Speaker 5: and then the rest I used to preemptively like pay
Speaker 5: back some of my loans.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, where was the apartment that you ended
Speaker 2: up staying?
Speaker 5: It was like in like Bushwick, Washington. Yeah, it was
Speaker 5: like deep repo real. I was, but like but like
Speaker 5: nice with two friends and I was like, was it nice.
Speaker 3: Or was there a crackhead opened the door for y'all
Speaker 3: that was like have a good day? So I was.
Speaker 5: We definitely did live next to like some sort of
Speaker 5: like gang a gang. We lived next door to like
Speaker 5: a gang house, like a gang house, a gang ahead.
Speaker 5: And we had a really hot neighbor. His name was Alejandro,
Speaker 5: and he was so hot and when he saw me
Speaker 5: just like completely fall and eat face and it was
Speaker 5: really horrific.
Speaker 3: That turns men on, though when you fall.
Speaker 5: It might be something a little lost due it's just
Speaker 5: maybe sexual translation. But I know in that moment, I
Speaker 5: was like I was like doing my laundry, like I
Speaker 5: had this huge laundry basket wearing these short shorts, and
Speaker 5: he was like hey, and I was like oh, hi
Speaker 5: whatever whatever, walking walking fall immediately just fell and ate
Speaker 5: total face and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, well, that's into the cloth or on the concrete.
Speaker 5: Real hard concrete, real hard cock. But then they were fine,
Speaker 5: and he was also like, are you okay. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm good, I'm all right, I'm really great, actually goods.
Speaker 2: Like one of my greatest fears is falling in public. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like I hate that.
Speaker 5: I think I have never I've never fell as hard
Speaker 5: as I did that day. Like it also was like
Speaker 5: you know, normally when you fall, there's some sort of
Speaker 5: like there's a little bit up and then you sort
Speaker 5: of do the hit. It was full, like just forward. Yeah,
Speaker 5: there was no there was no space, there.
Speaker 3: Was no listen. I don't want to hear none of this.
Speaker 4: I hopped the curve with my bike and flew to
Speaker 4: off and I was I had fox locks and one
Speaker 4: of them came out.
Speaker 5: It was always painful to see a lock in the
Speaker 5: street and just sort of wonder the backstory, you know, poor.
Speaker 2: A little out for him, like a braid when they
Speaker 2: call those hood snakes hood snakes something like that. You
Speaker 2: see like a braid on the ground and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: somebody got into a fight or has to go see
Speaker 2: their hair dresser this weekend.
Speaker 5: They got into the fight with gravity oh all day
Speaker 5: and lost.
Speaker 4: So wait that was shut up. That was a great
Speaker 4: scam with your school. What's what's the next scam after that?
Speaker 4: You can make sure you're not paying for anything.
Speaker 5: Well, I love just like small scams. I have a
Speaker 5: very young sounding voice. Yeah, and like you sound like
Speaker 5: a cartoon and like a young presence. And I feel
Speaker 5: like I'm very good at using that. Like if you
Speaker 5: know what your what your asset is, I feel like
Speaker 5: that is something key. Like some people you have a
Speaker 5: very sexual energy, and it's like if you need to
Speaker 5: use that, use that to your advantage.
Speaker 2: Me.
Speaker 5: I know my energy. You know, it's the youth. It's
Speaker 5: the sort of like a like a sexually vibe. It's like,
Speaker 5: what's the deal. But I want to help it? H
Speaker 5: And so it's like all right, absolutely, I present myself
Speaker 5: to be helped.
Speaker 3: I want to invest.
Speaker 5: I want to yes, invest in talk about this. I
Speaker 5: feel like I'm well, I'm really good at like small scams.
Speaker 5: Like I'll befriend like an entire coffee shop and then
Speaker 5: I'll just like then it's like, well, now I don't
Speaker 5: have to pay for coffee anymore. I have like several
Speaker 5: coffee shop I feel like also, I like, now you know,
Speaker 5: my spot's gonna get a little blown up. I have
Speaker 5: like like I have at least two coffee shops in
Speaker 5: in like in like each borough like where. It's like
Speaker 5: I and you know I because you don't want to
Speaker 5: make them you gotta leave a little mystery too. You
Speaker 5: want to make them miss you a little. You befriend
Speaker 5: and then you come back they're like, oh, we haven't
Speaker 5: seen you in so long on the house. You know
Speaker 5: you have befriend. It's like, yeah, another day, this girl
Speaker 5: gave me a whole bag of beans. She was like
Speaker 5: a bag of beans, a coffee beans. You got a
Speaker 5: coffee maker, Yeah, give me beans and like the grind
Speaker 5: the grounds and.
Speaker 3: Stuff and thrown them beans back in her exactly. Well.
Speaker 4: Also, you know it's good if you go to another
Speaker 4: coffee shop and you're like, oh, I was at this
Speaker 4: other coffee shop and they had to be better than that, yes,
Speaker 4: And you get like yeah, because they want to because
Speaker 4: they want to competet.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just go to coffee shops to like pee
Speaker 2: and use the wi fi. I didn't know they was
Speaker 2: given away.
Speaker 5: Coffee, find the community, make them you.
Speaker 2: But how many times are you how many times in
Speaker 2: like a month would you say that you go to
Speaker 2: like one particular coffee shop? Oh, like how you how
Speaker 2: you foster in these relations? You gotta do like maybe
Speaker 2: once a week.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like twice, maybe once or twice okay, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Because when I was waitress and you have regulars, yeah,
Speaker 4: and it's just people that you enjoy their company and
Speaker 4: you love when they're in the room.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you feel like, oh, let me get you a drink.
Speaker 3: You are some fool, Like what do you want? Let
Speaker 3: me take care of you.
Speaker 4: And those people are far and in between, like you
Speaker 4: never know if they're like trying to scam you or
Speaker 4: they're just a good person, right, So you have to
Speaker 4: you have to decipher sometimes in the conversation like hmmm, are.
Speaker 3: You doing this all the time? Are you waiting for
Speaker 3: me to give you something free? Are you asking me?
Speaker 5: Because there are people who do do it all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's sort of where those people are foster.
Speaker 5: It's like I think it's like I have to sort
Speaker 5: of balance. I have to like balance my energy, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean? It's like, I gotta make sure
Speaker 5: that I don't oh D because then it's like then
Speaker 5: you just go through a spell and you're like, wait
Speaker 5: a minute, I haven't gotten anything free for old freaking
Speaker 5: two months. What's up with that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not going back two months.
Speaker 2: That's horrible.
Speaker 3: Two days. I go for two days. If I don't
Speaker 3: get something free, I'm like, I'm never coming back here.
Speaker 4: I got to be thoughtful to yeah, come in and
Speaker 4: bring ship, like, oh, I just happen to have this
Speaker 4: extra ticket to my show.
Speaker 2: You're not a comparing gifts?
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, man, I'll listen to your freaking song on Spotify.
Speaker 2: Have to tweet something, tweet it.
Speaker 5: I'm making a community and I'm getting free things. I'm
Speaker 5: making make community, you make it. I mean, it's an honor.
Speaker 5: It's an honor.
Speaker 3: I love to learn. So you got the coffee, You
Speaker 3: got the coffee game on lock?
Speaker 5: What else? Well, okay, I will say, even though I
Speaker 5: don't like going on dates, I do like going on
Speaker 5: dates and getting for free.
Speaker 3: Just feed me. I'm hungry. My friend is empty.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't know any woman that's not doing that. I mean,
Speaker 3: there are women who pay on.
Speaker 2: These days and it's like, don't you know my friends?
Speaker 2: I mean, they outfit, but they're not in my community.
Speaker 5: Now to do it, don't do it? I will I
Speaker 5: do love. Like sometimes you can feel that split second,
Speaker 5: like that split half a second where it's like you
Speaker 5: think you're not going to pay for this.
Speaker 3: But you are. That hurts, but you are hurts.
Speaker 2: The dude I went on a date with on Monday,
Speaker 2: we went to get tacos and the guy was like,
Speaker 2: do you want anything to drink? The server dude and
Speaker 2: the guy that I was out with was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: she got water, right, you got a water bottle.
Speaker 3: I was like, I want one of these war ritos?
Speaker 3: What those jus? Those Mexican?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want one of I don't know, I don't
Speaker 2: And I was like, you won't even let me get
Speaker 2: a jip?
Speaker 3: Wow, I got water over there. I was like, those
Speaker 3: are cheap.
Speaker 2: I'm definitely coming to your house to print some stuff
Speaker 2: and I'm not going to show you my boy.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm for you on that. Thank you.
Speaker 5: Dang how dare He's so crazy? He should have got man,
Speaker 5: you gotta get to worried us.
Speaker 3: I did.
Speaker 4: So, you got a lot of people who you know
Speaker 4: no people and who probably actually do have tons of money. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so everybody has that one person in the group that
Speaker 4: you're like, she might not have it, so let's let's
Speaker 4: pay for her.
Speaker 3: Are you that person?
Speaker 4: I do your friends show show up and show out?
Speaker 5: Well, part of the problem was I gotta I was
Speaker 5: one of the first friends in my group to like
Speaker 5: get a writing job, and so after that happened, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like you have money now it's like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I stole a free stuff honestly, and also I don't.
Speaker 5: It's not even like that, right, You're not like you're
Speaker 5: not like you haven't sold a shove. Yeah, I'm not
Speaker 5: freaking writing for sign Fields do make good money, though,
Speaker 5: I mean I can eat, I can put my repok at.
Speaker 4: You be a modest bitch, I know, just some people
Speaker 4: out here making cakes on writing. I don't know you
Speaker 4: was at BT so actually, yeah, come through with the receipts.
Speaker 3: It wasn't how much money, was it, really?
Speaker 4: I mean you could tell us off the pain, that's right,
Speaker 4: you on medicaid. She definitely don't have blue Cross. He
Speaker 4: doesn't give you blue cross blue shield, No, not at all.
Speaker 4: They're like he's a band aid and a receipt for
Speaker 4: a chicken. There's an urgent carrying neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Go there, Mari.
Speaker 2: This is why we don't get hired for ship yo. Honestly,
Speaker 2: we will drag a place, a network down to a round.
Speaker 3: I don't think they have any more thought of emplogued me.
Speaker 5: So I'm fine.
Speaker 3: The beach a sucker. Wow, yeah, I said it, but
Speaker 3: I haven't last.
Speaker 4: She said she didn't know for sure. She was on
Speaker 4: a cusp about getting high.
Speaker 5: Hard line sucker dick, hard line. You need to a
Speaker 5: hard suck a hard dick.
Speaker 3: Do rock paper scissors on cutting that out, leave it in.
Speaker 2: I stand by anxious, beautiful white smiles across the room,
Speaker 2: anxious beautiful.
Speaker 3: Oh see that's you should write.
Speaker 2: That's a poem you are, that's a show anxious beautiful minds,
Speaker 2: white smiles.
Speaker 5: I was anxiously nice.
Speaker 4: Okay, cool, So what's the most expensive things like your
Speaker 4: friends might have put together for you?
Speaker 5: One night I went out with friends to like a
Speaker 5: like a club, and I also was like, I don't
Speaker 5: like like clubs make me anxious weird, I mean, like
Speaker 5: you have club experience.
Speaker 3: No, but it makes me anxious. Now, as a sober person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're just like a little anxiety inducing and also
Speaker 5: like I don't just like the sweat and the fuck
Speaker 5: in the air. It's it's like it's.
Speaker 2: Got to use the creative heat the air.
Speaker 3: They get that.
Speaker 2: Some shirts, Oh my god, it's so weird. Just shirt shirts,
Speaker 2: shirts right now.
Speaker 5: Lots of merch.
Speaker 3: I can't wait.
Speaker 5: I really, I really would love a jacket that has
Speaker 5: each sleeve in one says straight as that's insane, so
Speaker 5: good and so good, or like a front back T
Speaker 5: shirts situation. I'm just pitching, just pitching.
Speaker 3: So you're at the club.
Speaker 5: We're at the club and we're getting drunks.
Speaker 3: And what's your poison? What are you drinking?
Speaker 5: I like whiskey. I like whiskey dark.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't say that. You give me vodkavi.
Speaker 5: I do I look like a like a vodka cranberry girl, And.
Speaker 4: That's okay, No, no, no, you give me like mixed
Speaker 4: cocktail like a long berry, like.
Speaker 3: A watermelon martini.
Speaker 1: Water.
Speaker 5: I do love the cocktail though, come on, but we
Speaker 5: but we were this was also like but they were
Speaker 5: getting like bottles and like yeah, this is like a
Speaker 5: club of clob like you know, like going hard, lights
Speaker 5: and flashing people dancing.
Speaker 3: We give us, give us the look.
Speaker 5: I was wearing like a skirt and a shirt. Yeah,
Speaker 5: you wear a skirt I every now and again. You
Speaker 5: got to switch it up sometimes. But I knew that
Speaker 5: I was going out and so and I also I
Speaker 5: think I wore like a boot with a heel because
Speaker 5: I wasn't gonna do like full you know, skinny heels
Speaker 5: stiletto situation. I mean, just absolutely not. I was like,
Speaker 5: I already can feel myself on the train back home,
Speaker 5: so I'm gonna try to leaves so.
Speaker 2: Your friend's not getting you a cab after well, so
Speaker 2: then here we go. And so we're at the club whatever.
Speaker 2: It's inks and it's oks and it's ONNSEN and I'm like,
Speaker 2: we're getting a lot of drinks right to like my
Speaker 2: my other friend who's like closest to the to the
Speaker 2: rich dude, and she's like whatever, and I'm like, okay, cool, cool.
Speaker 5: Also, this is important to note they are Korean and
Speaker 5: Korean American Sir frows so crazy, but it's like adjacent
Speaker 5: to that crew. Yeah, so it's like they're Koreating Korean
Speaker 5: Americans and whatever. And like when I hung out with
Speaker 5: them before we're hanging out, you know, we're eating like
Speaker 5: whatever food, you know what I mean, like good food, yeah,
Speaker 5: but it's nothing like too extravagant, right, And and so
Speaker 5: in my mind, I'm like, okay, these are just like
Speaker 5: n YU people who have you know, enough money to
Speaker 5: go to n Y but whatever. And so we're at
Speaker 5: the club and and and I'm like okay, this is
Speaker 5: like I feel like we're getting a lot of drinks
Speaker 5: and he's like whatever, like it's on my mom's cart,
Speaker 5: like I don't care. I'm like huh. And so we're
Speaker 5: I'm like okay, short short Shore and the night is
Speaker 5: like wrapping up, and he's like, yo, let's let's go
Speaker 5: home like whatever, like uh, probably gonna cab it back.
Speaker 5: And I'm like okay, sure. Like in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 5: what the heck is this bill? Looking like the bill
Speaker 5: comes over twenty five hundred dollars like for for everything,
Speaker 5: for all those drinks, for like the roped off area.
Speaker 5: And I was just like in a night and he's like, eh,
Speaker 5: my mom's card and I'm like okay, wow.
Speaker 3: And nobody had sex with him that night.
Speaker 2: No, Wow, that's a good friend. That's what I'm telling you.
Speaker 2: This is why Ronney's dudes day money.
Speaker 3: It's fine. It's on his mom's card.
Speaker 5: It's on his mom's card.
Speaker 3: It's fine, it's his mom. As much as you can.
Speaker 2: Yes see, ladies don't feel bad about like spending some
Speaker 2: man's money.
Speaker 3: Right, it might be his mom's money, but whatever, spend
Speaker 3: her money and.
Speaker 5: Spending his dad's money, and the cycle, you know, and
Speaker 5: the circle. I also feel like any time whena because
Speaker 5: like I definitely do know like people who are like, oh,
Speaker 5: but it's like if you do that, then there's the
Speaker 5: expectation of sex or whatever. But there's no better time
Speaker 5: than now to just be like, so what you expected sex?
Speaker 3: Yes, you know what I mean, pull that card out,
Speaker 3: pull it, pull.
Speaker 5: It, pull it hard, and make them feel horrible.
Speaker 3: They won't.
Speaker 2: They won't, Yeah, they won't be like actually that bill
Speaker 2: twenty one hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually do expect it.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I only had twelve drinks time, so
Speaker 2: I'm not paying this.
Speaker 1: With me.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, my vagina does not cost twelve vodka sodas. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I'm worth more than twenty five hundred dollars.
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right, and that's.
Speaker 4: That well, you know what it's it's crazy when you
Speaker 4: say going out with your friends now that I'm a
Speaker 4: comedian and they know that I ain't got no coins,
Speaker 4: when they invite me to dinners when they go out
Speaker 4: and they already know I have Nathan's on it. One
Speaker 4: time we're at a dinner and they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: divided by seven and they're like, oh, oh, actually divide. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you didn't see me that I'm wearing this orange jacket boot.
Speaker 3: I'm here, I was eating all the Yeah.
Speaker 5: It is also weird like having friends who are like
Speaker 5: more successful, like and like have like either like better
Speaker 5: writing jobs, are acting on it or whatever, and like
Speaker 5: actually have money. And then like because there will be
Speaker 5: moments where I'm going out with people and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: this person just walked away, or they're paying the entire
Speaker 5: bill for everyone.
Speaker 3: Oh I love that.
Speaker 2: I love when we're to come and somebody already paid
Speaker 2: and they're like all right, let's go, And You're like, wait,
Speaker 2: because you pretend to reach you, I pretend to.
Speaker 4: Reach I feel like what the pretend to reach? This
Speaker 4: is crucial No, it's annoying. I mean we've done it
Speaker 4: so many times. Like as a waitress, I'm like, let's
Speaker 4: not play this game already.
Speaker 3: You know you're not gonna pay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, just give me a fucking card that we're
Speaker 2: gonna use and stop these games.
Speaker 3: I don't have time for the bad game.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: I mean like when the friend gets up and pretend
Speaker 2: to going to the bathroom and they pay for everybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, then you're at the table after it's already paid, like.
Speaker 2: Oh well I was gonna oh okay, well thank you.
Speaker 3: That friend is usually wearing like a slide like that.
Speaker 3: The friend usually the backless shoe. It doesn't look like
Speaker 3: they're the person who's gonna be paying, but they do.
Speaker 5: They're sort of like a disheveled.
Speaker 2: Hair y going like as you wash today, like you know,
Speaker 2: like a Steve Jobs like cold.
Speaker 5: Jean right yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I love those friends.
Speaker 5: I love those friends, like no matter how many times
Speaker 5: they wash their face, there will always be a little
Speaker 5: bit of eyeliner. Yes, I love those friends.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 4: What about okay, so you got your friends, you do
Speaker 4: all that? What about any venmo situations? Because that's what's
Speaker 4: going on now, Like friends, people are on social media. Hey,
Speaker 4: I would love if anybody could veno me for my
Speaker 4: birthday or for like my cat died for my tooth.
Speaker 3: I haven't done that yet.
Speaker 5: I have not done that yet, but I and and
Speaker 5: a lot of days, like I think.
Speaker 2: About it, honestly, for your birthday, it's I Sidney said.
Speaker 2: My birthday was like two weeks ago. And Sidney was like,
Speaker 2: if anybody wants to venmo Marie for her birthday, her
Speaker 2: Venmo was Marie Foss And.
Speaker 3: For my birthday, okay.
Speaker 5: I did a show where the guy, like the person
Speaker 5: who like put the show together, was like, here are
Speaker 5: these comics and here are their venmos. If you like them,
Speaker 5: venmo them. And I was like, hah, no one's going
Speaker 5: to Oh my god, people venmoed me for a joke.
Speaker 5: It was, which is like, but it was fun.
Speaker 3: We should do that, like for our show. We should
Speaker 3: like we should have people.
Speaker 5: It kind of was. It was like a cool idea.
Speaker 5: And I have a friend who started one of those
Speaker 5: like astrology meme accounts. Do you know this there's like
Speaker 5: a lot of name Her name is Courtney.
Speaker 2: Okay, but the the but that sounds like a Courtney move.
Speaker 5: I mean listen. When it first started, I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 5: this is cool that she made this thing. And then
Speaker 5: she was like, I'm quitting my job, and I was
Speaker 5: like this, wait hold on. But literally people will venmo
Speaker 5: her for memes, and I mean she like also does
Speaker 5: other things like like writing and stuff like, but like
Speaker 5: people like will send her money for her online content.
Speaker 3: How many followers you get?
Speaker 5: Uh? I think like two hundred and fifty k or
Speaker 5: something like it, like atrology, It like blew up, she's
Speaker 5: doing well, She's.
Speaker 2: Right, quob listen, I am doing it all wrong. Yes, honestly,
Speaker 2: there's some.
Speaker 4: Fans, like real fans, people who like fans will ride
Speaker 4: or die.
Speaker 3: They will support you for real.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they'll help you free load.
Speaker 2: I got to get two hundred fifty thou friends? Hey,
Speaker 2: unofficial expert followers or fans or whatever? Are you a
Speaker 2: real one? Are you straight as.
Speaker 5: If you're gas hell, you can find us all on venomo.
Speaker 5: If you're straight as fuck, you can also find me
Speaker 5: on vemo.
Speaker 4: Uh what about adults? I feel like you got the
Speaker 4: power to scam some adults.
Speaker 2: Oh, because you got that like little like like hey.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's sort of like an orphan like a
Speaker 5: lost in New York City orphan vibe. Yeah, I've definitely
Speaker 5: had like several just like gotten dinners. I love to
Speaker 5: go to a dinner and yeah, I'm I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 5: obsessed with dinner.
Speaker 2: Sydney, and I like, I feel like we've gotten to
Speaker 2: some really some real nice, just eventful dinner.
Speaker 3: We got some events coming up. We had an event
Speaker 3: coming up next week.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're always on the on the go and working
Speaker 4: our way to get to the next level of scamming.
Speaker 3: What else can we get for free?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 5: I recently my big crusade right now, my foot was
Speaker 5: run over by an uber recently, right and this is
Speaker 5: sort of my My foot was run over by an uber.
Speaker 5: It's my right foot. I'm now in a shoe bravely,
Speaker 5: I'm in a sneaker, but it was run over and
Speaker 5: I had a hairline fracture.
Speaker 3: Fuck camera.
Speaker 5: It was a Toyota and he ran over my foot. Wait,
Speaker 5: can you I I was I was going to an
Speaker 5: engagement party and I was getting out of the Uber
Speaker 5: and I had and I was stepping out and he
Speaker 5: already started driving away and he drove over my foot
Speaker 5: and I was like, no, you drove over my foot
Speaker 5: and he backed up to hear me over my foot,
Speaker 5: and I was like, you should go, because that is
Speaker 5: like my gut reaction to just anything. I like picked
Speaker 5: the wrong emotion to feel and sort of like flight
Speaker 5: or flight scramble. I was like embarrassed, like that was
Speaker 5: what my body chose to do.
Speaker 2: Wait, he ran over your foot twice time. So he
Speaker 2: ran over it then backed up over it, and you
Speaker 2: said you should go, And then then what happened? You
Speaker 2: go to this party?
Speaker 5: So I step in and I immediately go, oh, my
Speaker 5: foot just got run over twice. So I called another
Speaker 5: uber because I have no shame, and that one took
Speaker 5: me to the city m D. Yes I went to
Speaker 5: a city MD.
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5: Yes, I went to my summer home the City, MD
Speaker 5: and my second home the Union Square, City MD. And
Speaker 5: and one time I went there with true sorry is
Speaker 5: that I went there with a friend and the woman
Speaker 5: from the front desk recognized me. She was like, no
Speaker 5: fromming to the City MD. So often just like hi,
Speaker 5: And I was like, good to see you again, Kathy,
Speaker 5: and so looked at my foot and I so I
Speaker 5: like emailed uber and I was like this happened, Like
Speaker 5: you have to pay for the bills. I don't want
Speaker 5: to penalize the driver because like I saw a picture
Speaker 5: of like his son on the dashboard, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean. I was like, he's another Listen, you got
Speaker 5: a heart after your fucking foot was a company, but
Speaker 5: I wanted the company to suffer. And so now I am.
Speaker 5: My dad has like a friend who's a lawyer, and
Speaker 5: so I'm like, I want free Ubers for the rest
Speaker 5: of my life.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like that's what you're gonna say that
Speaker 3: you got. We're working on it.
Speaker 5: We're working on it. Is that Okay, so Uber paid,
Speaker 5: they paid the hospital bill, and they paid for the
Speaker 5: Ubers to and from so that night is covered. But
Speaker 5: I want it more. I was like, I want every
Speaker 5: Uber I had to take when I was when I
Speaker 5: was freaking booted right, like right.
Speaker 3: And did you miss the engagement party? Oh yeah, of
Speaker 3: course she did.
Speaker 2: Should pay you, should reimburse you for that, right.
Speaker 3: Got to you like I paid for the gift and
Speaker 3: an outfit.
Speaker 2: I got my hair done, huh, yes, I got you
Speaker 2: gotta get me new shoes because now my foot this.
Speaker 5: Is now a part of my case, I'm gonna need
Speaker 5: the taste for this taste draft something for you girl. Honestly,
Speaker 5: maybe I'm not might break my foot tonight. I'm not
Speaker 5: to get hammered to the foot tonight.
Speaker 2: Get out forever.
Speaker 5: That's my case. All the rock tapes, oh my gosh,
Speaker 5: I'm in court.
Speaker 2: I'm crying like they are, Like on the September, I
Speaker 2: don't even know what date is, October whatever, You're on
Speaker 2: the unofficial expert saying you were going to take a
Speaker 2: hammer to the foods.
Speaker 5: I have no idea what you're talking about. I'll be
Speaker 5: speaking to my lawyer now.
Speaker 3: Objection. My lawyer is you.
Speaker 2: I'm like overall, just like you can't say that. I'm like,
Speaker 2: but I just ate Boston Esquire. I see you, Boston,
Speaker 2: Washington and gay that's a great actually good okay, merch again,
Speaker 2: content and gay that's what it is.
Speaker 4: So these are all good. But I feel like I
Speaker 4: beat you on this because.
Speaker 3: I do you freeload.
Speaker 4: My friend was scamming this, not scamming this, but this
Speaker 4: dude kept like buying her purses taking around. These are
Speaker 4: kind of bags Chanel, like the big one, the jumbo bag,
Speaker 4: like the one that's clunky, the one that's like over
Speaker 4: five thousand dollars. He's like, I want to go to
Speaker 4: Miami and I want to take you. And she's like,
Speaker 4: or cool, but you got to bring my friend Sidney
Speaker 4: because I don't want to go. I don't feel comfortable
Speaker 4: going with just you. And he said, cool, So pay
Speaker 4: for my flight there, right, So I'm there and pays
Speaker 4: for everything.
Speaker 3: I don't pay for a dime. Pays for the drugs
Speaker 3: or food. Everything. Yeah, to drugs and the food yeah.
Speaker 3: And the flight, yes, and the flight.
Speaker 4: I the day before we're supposed to leave, my Auntie
Speaker 4: was like dying and I'm in full on teers and
Speaker 4: I looked at the flight to change and it was
Speaker 4: like six hundred dollars to go to California from Miami,
Speaker 4: and I was like, I don't have this money.
Speaker 3: He's like, don't worry.
Speaker 4: He bought my ticket to freaking California and back to
Speaker 4: New York City.
Speaker 5: Yeah, have me be the two tickets.
Speaker 3: I said what? And my friend didn't give him. No
Speaker 3: cat not not one not.
Speaker 2: She would she told you if she slept with him,
Speaker 2: would have told you, yes, she would have.
Speaker 3: We're roommates. That don't mean nothing. I don't even know
Speaker 3: my middle night, not me. I was.
Speaker 4: I was sleeping in her bed when she wasn't there, Okay,
Speaker 4: I was waiting for her.
Speaker 3: You owed for us or not?
Speaker 2: You were sleeping in her bed when she why?
Speaker 3: And you're probably eating all types of crunchy.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't eat her bed, but I was definitely waiting around, Like,
Speaker 4: so you got us some money this week?
Speaker 2: Him?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she was him exactly yeah.
Speaker 4: But when when when that happened, I was like, oh man,
Speaker 4: I can't even imagine what these other girls are getting,
Speaker 4: girls who actually have like body I looked like him,
Speaker 4: K Like I can't even I.
Speaker 5: Have like a friend of a friend who like met
Speaker 5: an older dude like literally and seeking arrangement and now
Speaker 5: they've been together for like forty years and she has everything.
Speaker 3: And how much older than her is he?
Speaker 5: She's my age and he early millions. It's like, well
Speaker 5: he's like it's like one like a long island like
Speaker 5: rich man. Like what she's just like is either in
Speaker 5: that house or like traveling wherever she wants.
Speaker 3: Do you ever feel bad?
Speaker 5: Do I ever feel bad?
Speaker 4: I'm not like being able to contribute sometimes, like I
Speaker 4: don't have it.
Speaker 5: No, No, sometimes I do, but I do. I'm like,
Speaker 5: maybe I should just make an account, you know, I
Speaker 5: just you know what.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm afraid of because I feel like everybody,
Speaker 2: every female that went to college has made an account
Speaker 2: or thought about making an account or whatever, because we
Speaker 2: ain't got no money when we're in school.
Speaker 3: But I'm just afraid that somebody, I know it's.
Speaker 2: Gonna see me on one of these things and be like, marieh,
Speaker 2: what what's this?
Speaker 3: What do you want to know me? What's this?
Speaker 2: You would want to look like dollars dot Com? You
Speaker 2: look like exactly I'm trying to get. I'm trying to
Speaker 2: get a bag to secure the bag. Secure all about
Speaker 2: secure the bags. I went on a date with this
Speaker 2: dude that was also dating this woman and who somebody
Speaker 2: at Tesla or somebody at like one of these like
Speaker 2: rich expensive places. She was dating one of these guys,
Speaker 2: and he bought her an apartment and put it in
Speaker 2: her name and then is paying for her to go
Speaker 2: to school right now, her name said, he put it
Speaker 2: in her name because that's that's what you want, is
Speaker 2: it to be in your name? So when we break up,
Speaker 2: you can't say that this is your place. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: he bought her an apartment in the issue.
Speaker 5: Is that so? I mean, and it happened earlier. But
Speaker 5: I have too much heart sometimes where I'm just like
Speaker 5: and and that's and that's sort of the what makes
Speaker 5: my free loading work, but also is a crutch, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, which is like I might not
Speaker 5: I don't know if I'll get if I'll get the apartment.
Speaker 5: Could you got to be ruthless, But you got to
Speaker 5: be ruthless if you want the building in your name.
Speaker 2: In your name.
Speaker 4: But you're a good person and I appreciate you because
Speaker 4: you want to give back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like that's good karma. I think, thank you.
Speaker 5: And if any executive right now is listening to this
Speaker 5: and sort of here's my good.
Speaker 2: Heart, you know, here's my fashion.
Speaker 5: You know, I will I will take an apartment. I'll
Speaker 5: start a charity in both of our names, but will
Speaker 5: you take a dick for the apartment?
Speaker 2: And Sydney?
Speaker 5: Okay, but were you saying a sentence earlier?
Speaker 3: This is this is the.
Speaker 2: Saying you said you will take the you'll take the apartment,
Speaker 2: but will you take a dick for the apartment.
Speaker 4: I'm a lawyer, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: It's Sidney. I'm gonna see you sis.
Speaker 2: If a dude, it's like you got to sleep with me,
Speaker 2: and you know I'm ready to sign the papers right now.
Speaker 2: The apartment in your name in in Soho or Troba
Speaker 2: or the hell wherever you need it to be.
Speaker 5: Is it like once.
Speaker 3: It's for a week?
Speaker 2: A week, you gotta take the so one dick five
Speaker 2: times O man for a whole apartment in my name
Speaker 2: and your name. There's a two bedroom, there's a terrorists.
Speaker 5: Is there laundry in the building, laundry in the units?
Speaker 2: Are taking the dick for five days?
Speaker 5: She said, there's laundry?
Speaker 3: She said, there's.
Speaker 2: Laundry, Sydney, Sidney, you would take the dick for five
Speaker 2: days for all that? I can't you mean you can't
Speaker 2: You rather live where you live than get the terrify.
Speaker 2: I'll find a way to get it, giving you.
Speaker 3: The dick on my own. Just take the dick, said no, listeners,
Speaker 3: I'm giving I'm throwing the question back.
Speaker 5: I'm giving all of you an apartment.
Speaker 3: If you say you'll take the doll I just know,
Speaker 3: would you take the dick? Absolutely everybody else take the.
Speaker 5: Do I think I'd take the five.
Speaker 2: Day, you would take the dick anyway, just for free.
Speaker 3: Basement apartment.
Speaker 5: And I'm also imagining in my situation in my in
Speaker 5: my mind, like in the simulation. In my mind, he's
Speaker 5: like kind of he's kind of gross.
Speaker 3: He is kind of gross.
Speaker 2: Okay, because people who are not gross aren't doing it,
Speaker 2: That's true. You gotta be a little bit gross, be
Speaker 2: like a little be like, okay, well give me the part.
Speaker 2: He looks like a quasi moto okay, but like but
Speaker 2: like in a suit.
Speaker 4: And I'm glad you have a heart, and I'm glad
Speaker 4: that you always think and you're and you're so young,
Speaker 4: and it's like you you're not even you're not even
Speaker 4: down on your luck yet.
Speaker 3: Girl, you know what I mean. It might not come
Speaker 3: for her, that might not ever happen. That's what I'm
Speaker 3: This is what I'm feeling the vibes. And it's beautiful
Speaker 3: because I.
Speaker 5: Get exposed tomorrow on Vulture dot Com.
Speaker 3: I don't know for what. Why would they listen if
Speaker 3: they expose you. I was like, that's a hate crime
Speaker 3: in itself.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I'm secretly a war criminal. I'm actually evil.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about this imaginary dick.
Speaker 5: I just I feel like, yeah, you said laundry and
Speaker 5: in the unit.
Speaker 3: In the unit, throw an extra printer in there.
Speaker 5: My friends come over print all their ship. It's not
Speaker 5: just for me, it's for my community, for the community.
Speaker 5: Sid I'll take the dick so you can come over.
Speaker 4: And honestly, that's how that's how my freeloading works. I
Speaker 4: get people who will do the dirty work because I'm
Speaker 4: not good at it. Yeah, I'll be honest.
Speaker 3: I think too much.
Speaker 4: I'm very sober, I'm too old, Like I'm not pulling
Speaker 4: you only twenty five, Yeah, twenty five. I'm in a
Speaker 4: mature twenty five that also went through the civil rights Like,
Speaker 4: I'm not doing it.
Speaker 3: So I pick people who are like, she's gonna she
Speaker 3: gonna do this for the team. Yeah you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: I need that. I'm not judging. If you take it,
Speaker 3: you judge.
Speaker 5: It looks like, yeah, you held my hand and then released.
Speaker 3: It immediately today you are not my daughter.
Speaker 5: I flew to the other side of the room. No,
Speaker 5: it is good to have like schemer. I feel like
Speaker 5: it's nice to have schemers around.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta have friends that like watch your back. Also,
Speaker 2: you gotta have like a fully charged phone. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: you got to send pictures and drop pins at all
Speaker 2: times so people know where you at.
Speaker 3: And that's basically like, that's my advice for people who
Speaker 3: are listening.
Speaker 2: Do you have any like, if you two three bits
Speaker 2: of advice, I would don't.
Speaker 4: I don't make your friends make them feel like you're
Speaker 4: using them. That's the number one rule. Like your friends
Speaker 4: won't because like when you really need them, when you
Speaker 4: really freaking need them, like they're not gonna be there
Speaker 4: because like, hey, bitch, remember you said you was going
Speaker 4: to borrow to six hundred dollars and you never gave
Speaker 4: it back and then I see you stunting on the ground. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 4: that's after truth speaking. I'm telling my truth. I fucked
Speaker 4: up on that there, like after the fact I didn't
Speaker 4: even really need that money at the time, and now
Speaker 4: I actually really need it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, buck, I wish I could call that friend. Yeah,
Speaker 3: do you have any pieces of words of advice or wisdom?
Speaker 5: I say, I think you got uh you know, find
Speaker 5: what's true to you. Uh you know, and uh holding
Speaker 5: in on honing in on on that and uh.
Speaker 3: It's very vague. Yeah, that's real vague what that means.
Speaker 5: What that means is like, uh, if if you think
Speaker 5: that you're a seeking arrangement sort of person, you know,
Speaker 5: it's like go there. If you know that you're like
Speaker 5: a smaller schemes building up, go there. Don't be afraid
Speaker 5: to freeload.
Speaker 3: So also you own it.
Speaker 2: I just if you're gonna do it, do it. I
Speaker 2: used to when I was in high school. I would
Speaker 2: ask people for change, like IM like does it may
Speaker 2: have a quarter or like a dollar, and then I
Speaker 2: would use that money to like buy food, I buy
Speaker 2: lunch because I would panhandled. I excuse me, ladies.
Speaker 3: And gentlemen, that's anybody else.
Speaker 2: And I would ask people like directly, can I have
Speaker 2: a court because a bagel was like fifty cents, And
Speaker 2: so you would just sort of like collect yes every day.
Speaker 2: And I was like, people must have thought I was
Speaker 2: like the homeless dude.
Speaker 3: On the train.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you literally were literally a homeless man on the
Speaker 2: train yesterday asked me for change. And I got a
Speaker 2: flashback of me doing the same thing in high school,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, that was me in like
Speaker 2: a couple of years, like that was that was me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: Anyway, if you loved this episode, and I know that
Speaker 2: you did, make sure you rate, comment and subscribe. Yes,
Speaker 2: and uh, listen to our Sugar Daddy Expert episode because
Speaker 2: she was talking about all the stuff that she was getting.
Speaker 3: And you know, yeah, but I think.
Speaker 4: That's a different type of freeloading. That's like a real
Speaker 4: life freeloading.
Speaker 2: That's a.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: This is like little by little.
Speaker 2: Little thing coffee, coffees, urgent.
Speaker 5: Care meals every now and again, maybe a trip or.
Speaker 3: Two, maybe an apartment with a terrorists.
Speaker 5: Okay, anyway, maybe Uber Uber, if you're listening to me
Speaker 5: give me my ride, you're going to at uber.
Speaker 4: And be like, dude, you rolled over our friend's foot
Speaker 4: twice twice, right, run us our money.
Speaker 3: It's us an our money. We're together.
Speaker 5: Okay, cool, we can talk about that. Well, we just
Speaker 5: the account sure like it like it is sort of
Speaker 5: my foot, but it's our money. Yes, Uber, Okay, pleep
Speaker 5: got pimped up by the end of this episode.
Speaker 3: But this is the free loading episode.
Speaker 5: You just and I and okay, and then I just
Speaker 5: saw it an action.
Speaker 3: You know where you are. If you get free ubers,
Speaker 3: you better hit me up and take me up.
Speaker 5: But that's what If I do get free ubers, I
Speaker 5: immediately it will be for the comedy community. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: no no, just okay, got it just to okay, okay,
Speaker 5: got it just for you to excuse.
Speaker 4: Me because I had an uber the record police, I
Speaker 4: had an uber a hookup and Marie hasn't got me
Speaker 4: an uber yet.
Speaker 1: Oh I.
Speaker 5: Was taking yea, she get.
Speaker 3: A little colds.
Speaker 2: People do a little cold on uber off Sydney. You
Speaker 2: are bringing it back to like the past, that was
Speaker 2: like twenty sixteen. I can't tell you I haven't had
Speaker 2: an Ober six she hadn't take care of me since
Speaker 2: I'm waiting.
Speaker 5: Remember that we had it. We had a show and
Speaker 5: you were like, I'll take it anyways, what like the uber?
Speaker 3: Is that true?
Speaker 2: Is that false? No? Wait?
Speaker 3: Which will you?
Speaker 5: You had?
Speaker 3: You had the Sydney had a connect Yes, and I
Speaker 3: was getting free ubers you had.
Speaker 5: We had a show and then you were like there
Speaker 5: was like a super expensive trip or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to break that to break them up. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was twenty dollars each.
Speaker 2: Right, Sydney had a hookup. She could take twenty dollars
Speaker 2: rides for free. So if we were going somewhere that
Speaker 2: was on course forty dollars, we had.
Speaker 3: To take two ubers.
Speaker 4: Yes, if we were going from Manhattan to Brooklyn, we
Speaker 4: had to take six ubers.
Speaker 2: Like there was a night that we were uptown. We
Speaker 2: were in Harlem and we were trying to get to
Speaker 2: Bushwick and we took it.
Speaker 5: It was like fun.
Speaker 2: We took edibles and then it turned into the journey
Speaker 2: to get to this house party in Bushwick and we
Speaker 2: had to take the Apple store. We had to take
Speaker 2: like eight different uber right, because it couldn't be it was.
Speaker 3: It was so fun. Actually, it was the most fun
Speaker 3: we've had. It was. It was more fun than the party.
Speaker 3: We got to the party, we were like, oh this
Speaker 3: is trash. Yeah, let's get back a uber again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we should be in an uber again. We ate
Speaker 4: cake and then left. I haven't spoken to that girl since.
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, she's dead to us. Yeah, because we
Speaker 3: don't give settle to Abigail. Thank you so much. Oh my,
Speaker 3: all right, we gotta go. Guys.
Speaker 2: Rate the podcast. Yes, subscribe to the podcast. Yes, take
Speaker 2: your friends raggedy ass phone, Yes and subscribe on that.
Speaker 2: Give us twelve stars.
Speaker 3: Yes, and then vemo us and then vemo Us. I'm
Speaker 3: Marie Foston on Vemo Foston, and then Austin like Texas,
Speaker 3: I'm Sydney Dash Washington.
Speaker 5: There you go, I'm io Dash Debris and you can
Speaker 5: sort of look to see how it's spelled.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be on our Instagram.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I mean if you can't figure it out,
Speaker 5: then then sort of best.
Speaker 3: Of luck to you, no sense, it's best luck to you.
Speaker 3: How do you spell your name?
Speaker 5: A Y O E D E BS and boy I
Speaker 5: R I all right?
Speaker 3: And if anybody listening is given terraces for Dick for
Speaker 3: five days, yeah, you know, hit me.
Speaker 5: You know the two people that will do it.
Speaker 3: We're gonna end on. We're gonna end on.
Speaker 4: Sydney lost the tooth last week, so I actually really
Speaker 4: need the vemo okay, and so misplaced is gone?
Speaker 3: You lost it? It's how.
Speaker 2: So yes, send it to my digital We thank you, guys,
Speaker 2: goodbye bye for.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Brett Bauham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
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