WEBVTT - Professor Benny 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.360 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:05.560 Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific. 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.399 If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week, 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:14.040 was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:18.240 old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:20.799 in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:24.920 poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of hot takes. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:30.120 Break free for something specialitur with Ben Maller starts right 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:35.319 now on a Saturday Saturday Saturday. We welcome you into 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:40.000 the Magic podcast Box, where all your audio content needs 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.280 are taken care of on the weekends. Here as the 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:46.440 spinoff of the Ben Maller Show. All this is only 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.839 available in the podcast format. You figured that out already, 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:52.680 and we do this because hey, four hours in the 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:58.120 middle of the night clearly not enough. Eight days a week, 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:01.680 eight days a week in Thank you for subscribing, whether 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.000 it's on the I Heart podcast platform or anywhere else. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:09.000 You get your podcast available everywhere, and tell a friend, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.640 Tell a friend, tell a friend. And unfortunately I look 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:15.200 at the calendar here and it appears that David Gascon 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:22.840 is with us again. This week here and set. Yeah, 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:31.600 boom friend fresh meat and my my good friend the 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:35.080 Penny took ourselves on a nice trip last couple of 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:39.240 days after celebrating one Super Bowl victory for Tom Brady. 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:41.920 There's a job well done by the Penny. I'd like 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:44.200 to pat myself on the back for well. The Penny 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.959 actually went on a hiatus. If you know this uh 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:50.640 a situation my personal life. The well actually originally the 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.560 Penny went on hiatus because he didn't want to do 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:57.720 it over the the Christmas holiday festivities. But then and 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.440 you know, Christmas and New Years and then so what happens, 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.320 So we we just put the Penny on hold pen. 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:03.800 He's on ice right now, and he's on like a 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:07.360 box ice sitting there. And then that's how that's going 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.799 so good. It was excellent now it's the Depression. Was 0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:12.840 a terrible game. It was a horrible game. The game 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:15.240 got an F. It was was an F game. It 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.440 was a crap game. It was a terrible game. The 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.720 production was bad too. It was bad from start to finish, 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:26.640 pregame to post game, the production, the commercials, it all sucked. Yeah, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:28.680 it's it's not something that we're gonna sit here and 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:30.760 so I remember where you were when you watched the 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:34.160 Bucks Chief Super Bowl and how amazing that was. No, 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:37.760 there was none of that. I know, none of that. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.480 I thought one would be better than so far not 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:47.240 so good. Yeah, it appears that was the warm up act. 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:51.440 Gonna go see a comedy show and they had the 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:53.720 warm up comedian and then the main comedian comes on 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.360 and so yeah, my favorite And I don't know if 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.160 you've ever done this, but there's a few comedy stores 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.960 where we live, and one of my favorites is actually 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:05.040 in Hermosa Beach, and on Fridays and on Sundays, Jed 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.480 Letta would go there and do some of his he'd 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:09.760 practice some of his routine for the week. He'd go 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:13.120 there on Sundays, but on Fridays and Sundays, they would 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.560 typically do instead of having like your warm up and 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.400 then your main your your main set of comedians, they 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:22.160 do it round robin. So they'd have a round robin 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:25.000 of fifteen or twenty comedians that would come out and 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.600 they get two minutes on the clock and you go 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.840 for two minutes and the buzzer sounds and you get 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:32.400 the funk out. And that was one of my favorite 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.240 acts to watch because you had these guys that were 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:37.520 full throttle for two minutes. They didn't have time to 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.240 ponder around and like you know, use the audience as 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:42.800 a subject. Those are some of my favorite acts to 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.320 see from a comedy store. I don't know if you've been. 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.560 We call that in the profession. We call that the 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.640 sports talk radio version of comedy where you go two 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.840 minutes because the caller gets about two minutes on the 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.360 air and then you move on to the next call. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.680 So it's really comedy stealing from sports talk radio's good 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.520 bad job by them. Yeah, did they have a seven 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.240 and a half to drag queen from Rochester? No? No, 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.640 in Buffalo, no drag queens, No trenies, no eighty year 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.440 old women, eighty year old women? Do they have truck 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:13.680 drivers from Arkansas that double fist Big Max at three 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:18.280 in the morning. One woman looked like she did. Yes. Yeah, Well, 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.000 you can't go to a comedy club now, right There're 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.000 still they're not open a comedy club. In a while, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:25.560 I used to like going to comedy was I liked 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.640 Jeff Garland used to pop up. I think he's in 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:30.960 Hollywood now to comedy club, the guy from the Big 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:33.640 Fat Guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm, and he would he 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:38.520 would hit this club in Burbank every Sunday night and 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:40.560 he had he had a regular gig there and he 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:43.599 just he didn't prepare anything. Of course, he did no preparation. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:44.960 He just went out there and ripped people on the 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:49.560 audience and that was a stick and just saw him 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.200 and it was good. I don't know he was he 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:55.239 was fine. Yeah, he was all right. But yeah, sometimes 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:57.480 the comedy clubs around l A, like the bigger name 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.520 comedians that live in l A. Well just like in 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:01.479 fact of the day, they would just pop up. Yeah, 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.040 I've heard story like back many many the late great 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.080 George Carlin. Yeah, would sometimes just walk in and then 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:09.719 you want to do a few minutes and test something 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.440 out and for an HBO special or something like that 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.920 and serious and yeah, there's well the Comedy Store in Hollywood. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:18.919 They have the regular stage and then they have a 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:22.760 separate stage like adjacent to it, but upstairs it's almost 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:24.720 like a frat house and that's what they do their 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:28.240 their typical roast battles and the roast battles he'd see 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.280 on Comedy Central with Jeffrey Ross, he'd be roasting people 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:35.000 at the time. He would actually randomly show up. Um 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:39.400 that that's really small. It's it probably holds about thirty people, 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:41.200 and then it has like a small stage area for 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.160 v I P s. But like that is that is it? 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.320 So when you get Jeffrey Ross that goes in there, 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:49.560 it's almost like a sweatshot because it's just the smell 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.280 and the odor and the stench from people that are 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:55.080 coming in and out. But yeah, I missed those days. 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:56.560 I don't know if we're gonna have any of those 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:06.279 anytime sooner. What holy shit, California, finish the governor and 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:10.320 get rid of this loser governor and Gavin Newsom in California, 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.640 we all hope. I don't know anyone that doesn't want 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.679 him removed. His governor is a terrible governor. And there's 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:19.880 a recall effort underway and then apparently on the cusp 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.280 of happening. Yeah, we're I think we're about a hundred 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.600 thousand signatures away from the recall. The only thing that 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:27.840 scares me about that is can you imagine what losers 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.480 are going to run to replace him? Well? No, because 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:33.040 the other thing is he might say that these signatures 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:38.320 aren't authentic. Yeah, yeah, he's gonna have to go and 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.080 eat a stake at the French laundry to whether or 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.920 not they're authentic and have a nice glass of wine 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:46.760 there as he as he does his things. So on 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:52.159 this podcast we have the Valor Victorian and also a 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:56.719 hot Take thumbs up plus pop Quiz. All right, all right, 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:00.120 this is original content. Nobody else has this content. They 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:02.200 all want the content. They can't have the content. It's 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.640 our content nobody else has. So you want Valor Victorian, 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.960 you want Hot Take thumbs up or pop Quiz? What 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.040 do you want? I think we go pop quiz first, 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.000 get it out of the way. I don't know if 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.480 they get it out of the way. See pop Quiz 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:20.560 is wonderful. Don't dismiss pop quiz. Yeah, but why would 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:25.440 you dismiss pop quiz Because it's typically like schools and sessions, 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.480 So you want to get the tests over with before 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.960 you get to anything else like lab work or any 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.000 kind of interns. See your instincts on this. That's a 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.520 bad job by pop Quiz. Like if back in the 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:37.800 day when I was a kid and I watched the 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.560 Tonight Show, you don't watch it anymore. But they watched 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:42.120 it with Leanto, I watched it with I'm Old. I 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:46.800 watched it with Johnny Carson, the big name. They didn't 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:49.640 bring out right away, right, They didn't bring the big 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.920 name out. They wanted you to stay and watch and 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.600 then you know what I mean. It's not like they'd 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.040 have a list of gas and then they'd have Usually 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:00.560 somebody would get bumped depending on how along the main 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:02.880 main guest went, But usually have somebody come out first. 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.080 Then you have the main guest, and then you finish 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:08.400 up with if you have time left, somebody else. Yeah, 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.560 but this is a this is a story arc that 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:15.680 will conclude with Valedictorian. So I feel I see, okay, 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.400 all right, well listen, your instincts are terrible, but we'll 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.440 do that. That's fine, if you want to do that. 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:23.400 We will start with pop quiz. My fault for asking. 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:25.800 I should have just taken the lead there and guided 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.840 you through the abyss. But we will. We'll start with 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:32.840 pop quiz. So these are things I found scouring around 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:38.400 the dark web that I found interesting enough to quiz 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.720 guest gun. But really I'm quizzing you as the list 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:48.199 whether you're working out, doing some yardwork, freezing your ass 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:52.920 off in a winter blizzard, whatever it might, or shopping 0:08:53.040 --> 0:09:01.160 or shopping for tomorrow and your significant other. Yeah, my 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.559 advice is to wait until the day after everything's all 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.360 the candies, half off, all the flowers or half off. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.040 They gotta get rid of that stuff. Just make sure 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:12.319 you got some endurance for the night. Yeah, well, let's 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:15.120 see about that, all right, So pop quiz, here we go. 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:19.520 Due to the pandemic, which seemingly will never end. Due 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:22.439 to the pandemic, there are four million of these currently 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:27.240 sitting in warehouses all around the United States. But a 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:31.160 direct result of the pandemic, and it is somewhat related 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:35.280 to sports, In fact, very related to sports. Oh do 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:40.840 do do Do Do? Do? Do? Do do do do um? 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:48.800 Related to sports? Do do do do? Do Do do do Um? Alright, 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:52.000 time is up. Final answers. Yeah, I'm gonna say. I'm 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:57.559 gonna say football's uh no. Since the Major League Baseball 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:02.559 season was played with no fans, there are four million 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:06.559 bubble heads sitting in the warehouses across the United States 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:09.320 that we're gonna be given away by the Cincinnati Reds, 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:15.520 the Minnesota Twins, the Dodgers, the Mariners, the Stros, and 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:19.240 every other team in baseball, and none of those have 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.080 been given out. Now, let's see the problem with that is, 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:25.760 I would like to do an analysis. How many of 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.480 those bubble heads are for players that are no longer 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.320 on the current team. That's a good one, right, like 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:37.560 Tampa Bay head that bro I'm risking my life Blake 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.400 Snell and he's now a Padre. Did they have any 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:42.520 Blake Snell bobble heads last year they were gonna give 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:46.040 away from Trevor Bauer. That's right, Trevor Bauer and Cincinnati. 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:50.480 He gone, I go down the list. I'm sure there's 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.760 you know, somewhere there's Key k Hernandez bobble heads. And 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.800 he's not around the Dodger, he said, he's gone to 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.280 the Red Sox. All right, if you do not do 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:05.440 this during an interview, two thirds of hiring managers will 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.400 turn you down for the job. So if you don't 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.600 do this in an interview, then you have a very 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:16.160 small chance of getting hired to do said job. Ask 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:20.079 for the job. So you have to ask for the job. Now, 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:27.719 it's something involving body language. Sit up straight, No, damn dude, dude, dude, 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:29.720 this explains why you're not getting these good jobs. Guest 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:31.960 con you don't know the answer. Yeah, good job of you. 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.600 I don't know. Man, it's gonna help you out. It's 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.320 gonna change your life and in magical ways. Here all right, 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:42.520 tell me make eye contact. If you don't make eye contact, 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.160 they think you're up to trouble. They think you're a 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:50.720 shady character. You're a shyster. Interesting, it's all about that icon. 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:55.120 People do not like being an icon. Yeah, makes them uncomfortable. Yeah. Now, 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.120 when you're out and about there and you're walking around 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:02.200 some ritzy beach with all the uh elitist west of 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.640 the four oh five, I'm always smiling, looking smiling, trying 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.320 to make eye contact with the ladies, right, But they 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:08.920 don't like to make eye contact with you right now, 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:11.200 because that's a connection. There's a connection when you make 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.040 eye contact. There's a connection for a moment, for a 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.880 split second, there's a connection. There's a bond between two 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.079 people when you make eye contact. Yeah, but they're not 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.839 usually looking at my eyes. You get what I'm saying. 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.000 I don't know what else there is to look at, 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:32.240 you know, suns out, guns out, you know. Wow, back legs, 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.160 you know it's the beach. It's l a man, what 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.120 do you want? Bending over? Like the photos on your 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:41.760 grinder account? He got going on there, But jeez, we 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:46.520 are looking live. Oh I dropped something again. Let me 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.600 bend over and pick it up. Here, let's see what 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.760 we got, all right? Man? All right? Uh this, this 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:56.960 creature has more taste buds than any other on earth 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:01.600 or in water. I'm gonna must have the greatest palette 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:12.280 in the world. This particular thing, I'm gonna say it's 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.160 not kosher. I was gonna say an ant, but an 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:21.600 ant I'm gonna say a ladybug. Uh No, catfish, catfish. 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:24.880 According to this report, there there are a hundred and 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:29.920 seventy five thousand taste buds all over the body of 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.120 a catfish. So I mean, if you get I don't 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.880 eat catfish, but if you eat catfish, you're eating taste buds. Wow. 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:39.440 That's interesting. Humans. By the way, for comparison, U slowly humans. 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:45.680 Right now we have ten thousand, ten thous That tongue 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.840 is covered with those taste buds. Yeah, covered, all right. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:52.480 Sunglasses were originally this I didn't know this. This one's cool. 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:55.280 I like this one. Sunglasses were originally invented to hide 0:13:55.320 --> 0:14:01.800 the eyes of people belonging to this profession. I'm not 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:05.360 sure whether this is bullshit or not, but firefighters, no. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:11.880 I think of somebody who has to be an arbitrator 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:19.360 of things. A judge, yes, a judge. Wow? Is that 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:23.280 why wiggs were invented to for the judge? They love 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:27.160 the our friends in in Europe with the in Britain 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:31.400 there with the the the English judges with the white wiggs. 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.840 And do they still do that? I don't know, Like 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:38.240 in Parliament, yeah, I don't know. I I do like 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:41.280 when they were going through the Brexit thing couple of 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:44.920 years ago, they would show the shouting matches and it 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:49.360 was so entertaining to watch the British politicians screaming at 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.320 each other. I thought it was wonderful. There's so much 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.200 more entertaining than the idiots here in America. The ones 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.880 that are crying right now try to and they claim 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:02.200 to have decorum and uh survived the nuclear winter? Yes, 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.440 absolutely all right. If you'd like to make a woman 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.880 feel truly love, this is important, guest, gun your single 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.160 guy Valentine's Day weekend, If you'd like to make a 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:14.280 woman feel truly loved. Ten percent of them said to 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:21.720 do this. What is it only ten percent countsis? Cook 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:26.600 for them? That's always your default answer. Well, I was 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.760 always your I'd say, let's say clean, but I think 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:35.760 that's too obvious clean. Uh No, it is fill up 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:40.480 the car with gas. What Yeah, that's flame funk That 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:45.600 gas is expensive. Well, if you're with in a relationship 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.080 with someone, you can just instead of them, you're you're 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.360 you're going to join account or something like that. My god, 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.760 I don't know. I don't know if the decide that 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.960 for a later time. So you're you're an anti gass 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:57.880 or is that what you're saying there? Just you know, 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.280 I mean everyone's got their own investments and them are 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:05.360 more profitable than others. All right, Uh la la la 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.760 la la Lee. Here's another one. This has been ranked. 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.840 We're doing pop quiz. This has been ranked as one 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.600 of the top ways you can ruin your whole day. 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:22.920 What is it? Drop your phone and water? No, but 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:27.040 it does involve water. Get up, take a nice shower, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.160 and there's no hot water. Hot water heater has gone 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.840 out and you can't take a hot shower. Now, I 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.280 have been told and I've heard from several people that 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.000 I trust that actually taking a cold shower is really 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:42.240 good for you. Stimulates your body, stimulates your metabolism. Yeah, 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:44.560 that's might be true. But the way to take a 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.880 cold showers to start out with a warm shower and 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:49.360 turn the water down. I don't know. That's the way 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.880 that that's the proper bullshit, that's the proper way to 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.480 do it. I don't know. If you start out with 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:56.320 warm water and you say it's it's the same thing 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:59.840 as the boiling frog. You turn the water down slowly 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.040 and get it colder and colder, and by the time 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.400 you get done it's an ice cold shower. You started 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.960 out warm, you ended up cold. That's the way to 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:11.960 do it. That's like going from a jacuzzi to a pool. Though, no, no, 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:17.240 it's not. It's not your slowly turning the temperature of 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:23.600 the water down slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. What 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:28.160 a snob? So why do it teaching life lessons? Yes, 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:33.240 one third of American homes have one of these. One 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:44.560 third um a gazebo. Now a welcome matt, welcome man? 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:49.080 Do you have a welcome mat? Do your scon of 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:55.320 course my wife has a welcome Yeah, little pixie dust. Sure, 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:59.960 absolutely all right. The last time the average person didn't 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.080 this chore at their house was five months ago. Oh man, 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:09.760 what is it? I'm gonna I'm gonna say dust. That's 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.800 a good one. Most people don't dust very often. Uh No, 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:18.439 the answer is clean out the fridge. Now that my 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:21.960 my wife loves cleaning out the fridge. Really yes to 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:26.960 a problematic situation because it's almost every other week she's 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.240 cleaning out the fridge and and I'm like, well, she 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.760 has up thrown away food that we could still eat. 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.160 Oh yeah, Does she clean out the freezer to freezer? 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:39.159 Not as much freeze or not as much? Yea, what 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:40.680 you're talking about, Gus g I don't know. I don't 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:42.679 know what you're talking about. Stasking a question. It's a 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.800 time machine in there, there's a there's a flashback to 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.280 a different time. Yeah, but it's perfectly fine. The food 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:53.320 in there is perfectly fine where it should be. Right. Yeah, 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.120 I just got a phone call from Tom LOUDI should 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.600 I answer my phone call from Tom LOUDI? Probably not right, 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.560 Probably not. He's gonna be triggered about something, and you 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.000 should pick it up. I guarantee he'll be scream at. 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:09.520 I'm not ready, He's I don't think I've been awake 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:13.360 long enough to deal with his bull crap. They do 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:17.000 not think. I don't think the that that's something I'm 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.480 interested in there so not right now. I'm not a 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.040 good I'm not a good riser, and I hate alarm clocks. 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:26.239 But the sound of his voice is that of an 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.480 alarm clock. He is at a ten, especially when he 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:33.359 gets triggered. Well, I like to hit his buttons and uh. 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:36.480 And then yeah, so I and then I give him 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:40.080 his own medicine, you know, I use his rhetoric's liberal 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:43.479 rhetoric against him and uh, and then he gets upset 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:47.520 by that, and uh, you know, pretty much go back 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:50.600 and forth. He accuses me of only watching Fox News, 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.720 and I said he only watches CNN, and so that's 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:57.600 you know, like, well we're in the same spot, you know, 0:19:57.640 --> 0:19:59.800 if that's the case, because you know, anyway, all right, 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.120 let's see what do we have next year? Uh, let's 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:07.280 see any meny mighty alright. Thirty seven of Americans say 0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:12.639 that they have never done this uh in the car 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:20.760 about that had sex? Uh had sex? Uh? No, no, no. 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:22.879 This one's odd to me because I don't know how 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:25.760 you can drive properly in a big city without doing this. 0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:30.200 Honk the horn? Oh man, now hank the horn? Man? 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.280 Are you a tapper or do you sit on the 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:34.920 horn when you hank it? Well, when I had a 0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:38.879 big masculine horn, I would really just pound the horn 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:41.320 and that would But now I have kind of a weak, 0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:45.600 embarrassing horn on my malanmobile, very bad. It's just it's 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:47.800 like a clown clown horn. So I don't. I'm a 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:50.600 little embarrassed, but I still hit it. But I don't. 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:52.600 I'm not loud and proud, you know. I don't pump 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:55.760 my chest out and hold the horn down like an 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:58.800 fh you. I don't do that, but I'll tap it. 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:01.199 I'll give a tap atually when you're changing lanes and 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:03.919 the asshole will not allow you to get over or 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:07.760 speeds up or you know, vice versa little tap tap. 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:11.800 Although I've noticed and that backing out of parking places 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:15.280 is often the most risky thing that you could have 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.760 got an accidents backing up or or driving and somebody 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:24.080 backing into me. That's happened multiple times of office workers 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:30.120 have one of these in their desk. What is it? Um, 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:35.080 I'm gonna say, a picture of a loved one picture picture, No, 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:41.320 A toothbrush, good dental hygiene. That reminding that reminded I 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.600 was when I was younger. I uh not that I 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:45.760 dated many people, but I did date a woman whose 0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:49.719 father was a dentist, and she would brush her teeth 0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:52.600 like four times a day. It was so freaking annoying. 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.840 It was so good. It was so annoying. I guess gun. 0:21:55.880 --> 0:21:57.560 I was like, oh my god, this is a nightmare. 0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:01.399 Ask you you said that brings something up? Say because 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:04.240 you brought it up last week with cars. I didn't 0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:07.280 realize it. I cleaned out my car last week and 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:12.199 lo and behold, I found a toothbrush and toothpaste in 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:15.879 my center console. You had to ask this question or similar. Yeah, yeah, 0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:18.880 we had pop quiz about the I was like, wait 0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:20.720 a minute, and it's you know when you get it 0:22:20.720 --> 0:22:22.639 from the dentist and a little baggie. I had it 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:27.280 my oh the baggy. Yeah. I would stash like my 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:30.920 big eating days, I'd stash bags of candy and I'd 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:32.840 have a little bagge and then I forget about it 0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:34.879 and it would be you know, heat, the heat and 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:38.560 the cold that would be disgusting. And then usually gotta 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:40.600 have like you gotta a little mouthwash in case you 0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:42.719 need the mouthwash, and you gotta have a little bit 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:44.919 of deodor. You gotta have that. Those are the two 0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:46.760 key things you gotta have in your car and all times, 0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:48.840 just in case you end up in front of someone 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:50.960 who's you want to you want to impress them. You 0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:55.200 don't want to smell and look like a slob. So alright, 0:22:55.680 --> 0:23:00.720 One in every four people you see here are scrolling 0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:07.119 through social media. Do do do do do do do do? 0:23:07.760 --> 0:23:10.199 Wait can you say that again? Alright? One in every 0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:13.600 four people you see here at this location are scrolling 0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:19.560 through social media. Starbucks no better than the Starbucks. Church. 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:27.320 Oh man, go go to church. Get an update, status update. 0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.760