Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific.
Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week,
Speaker 1: was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Speaker 1: old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
Speaker 1: in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of hot takes.
Speaker 1: Break free for something specialitur with Ben Maller starts right
Speaker 1: now on a Saturday Saturday Saturday. We welcome you into
Speaker 1: the Magic podcast Box, where all your audio content needs
Speaker 1: are taken care of on the weekends. Here as the
Speaker 1: spinoff of the Ben Maller Show. All this is only
Speaker 1: available in the podcast format. You figured that out already,
Speaker 1: and we do this because hey, four hours in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night clearly not enough. Eight days a week,
Speaker 1: eight days a week in Thank you for subscribing, whether
Speaker 1: it's on the I Heart podcast platform or anywhere else.
Speaker 1: You get your podcast available everywhere, and tell a friend,
Speaker 1: Tell a friend, tell a friend. And unfortunately I look
Speaker 1: at the calendar here and it appears that David Gascon
Speaker 1: is with us again. This week here and set. Yeah,
Speaker 1: boom friend fresh meat and my my good friend the
Speaker 1: Penny took ourselves on a nice trip last couple of
Speaker 1: days after celebrating one Super Bowl victory for Tom Brady.
Speaker 1: There's a job well done by the Penny. I'd like
Speaker 1: to pat myself on the back for well. The Penny
Speaker 1: actually went on a hiatus. If you know this uh
Speaker 1: a situation my personal life. The well actually originally the
Speaker 1: Penny went on hiatus because he didn't want to do
Speaker 1: it over the the Christmas holiday festivities. But then and
Speaker 1: you know, Christmas and New Years and then so what happens,
Speaker 1: So we we just put the Penny on hold pen.
Speaker 1: He's on ice right now, and he's on like a
Speaker 1: box ice sitting there. And then that's how that's going
Speaker 1: so good. It was excellent now it's the Depression. Was
Speaker 1: a terrible game. It was a horrible game. The game
Speaker 1: got an F. It was was an F game. It
Speaker 1: was a crap game. It was a terrible game. The
Speaker 1: production was bad too. It was bad from start to finish,
Speaker 1: pregame to post game, the production, the commercials, it all sucked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's not something that we're gonna sit here and
Speaker 1: so I remember where you were when you watched the
Speaker 1: Bucks Chief Super Bowl and how amazing that was. No,
Speaker 1: there was none of that. I know, none of that.
Speaker 1: I thought one would be better than so far not
Speaker 1: so good. Yeah, it appears that was the warm up act.
Speaker 1: Gonna go see a comedy show and they had the
Speaker 1: warm up comedian and then the main comedian comes on
Speaker 1: and so yeah, my favorite And I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've ever done this, but there's a few comedy stores
Speaker 1: where we live, and one of my favorites is actually
Speaker 1: in Hermosa Beach, and on Fridays and on Sundays, Jed
Speaker 1: Letta would go there and do some of his he'd
Speaker 1: practice some of his routine for the week. He'd go
Speaker 1: there on Sundays, but on Fridays and Sundays, they would
Speaker 1: typically do instead of having like your warm up and
Speaker 1: then your main your your main set of comedians, they
Speaker 1: do it round robin. So they'd have a round robin
Speaker 1: of fifteen or twenty comedians that would come out and
Speaker 1: they get two minutes on the clock and you go
Speaker 1: for two minutes and the buzzer sounds and you get
Speaker 1: the funk out. And that was one of my favorite
Speaker 1: acts to watch because you had these guys that were
Speaker 1: full throttle for two minutes. They didn't have time to
Speaker 1: ponder around and like you know, use the audience as
Speaker 1: a subject. Those are some of my favorite acts to
Speaker 1: see from a comedy store. I don't know if you've been.
Speaker 1: We call that in the profession. We call that the
Speaker 1: sports talk radio version of comedy where you go two
Speaker 1: minutes because the caller gets about two minutes on the
Speaker 1: air and then you move on to the next call.
Speaker 1: So it's really comedy stealing from sports talk radio's good
Speaker 1: bad job by them. Yeah, did they have a seven
Speaker 1: and a half to drag queen from Rochester? No? No,
Speaker 1: in Buffalo, no drag queens, No trenies, no eighty year
Speaker 1: old women, eighty year old women? Do they have truck
Speaker 1: drivers from Arkansas that double fist Big Max at three
Speaker 1: in the morning. One woman looked like she did. Yes. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: you can't go to a comedy club now, right There're
Speaker 1: still they're not open a comedy club. In a while,
Speaker 1: I used to like going to comedy was I liked
Speaker 1: Jeff Garland used to pop up. I think he's in
Speaker 1: Hollywood now to comedy club, the guy from the Big
Speaker 1: Fat Guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm, and he would he
Speaker 1: would hit this club in Burbank every Sunday night and
Speaker 1: he had he had a regular gig there and he
Speaker 1: just he didn't prepare anything. Of course, he did no preparation.
Speaker 1: He just went out there and ripped people on the
Speaker 1: audience and that was a stick and just saw him
Speaker 1: and it was good. I don't know he was he
Speaker 1: was fine. Yeah, he was all right. But yeah, sometimes
Speaker 1: the comedy clubs around l A, like the bigger name
Speaker 1: comedians that live in l A. Well just like in
Speaker 1: fact of the day, they would just pop up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've heard story like back many many the late great
Speaker 1: George Carlin. Yeah, would sometimes just walk in and then
Speaker 1: you want to do a few minutes and test something
Speaker 1: out and for an HBO special or something like that
Speaker 1: and serious and yeah, there's well the Comedy Store in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: They have the regular stage and then they have a
Speaker 1: separate stage like adjacent to it, but upstairs it's almost
Speaker 1: like a frat house and that's what they do their
Speaker 1: their typical roast battles and the roast battles he'd see
Speaker 1: on Comedy Central with Jeffrey Ross, he'd be roasting people
Speaker 1: at the time. He would actually randomly show up. Um
Speaker 1: that that's really small. It's it probably holds about thirty people,
Speaker 1: and then it has like a small stage area for
Speaker 1: v I P s. But like that is that is it?
Speaker 1: So when you get Jeffrey Ross that goes in there,
Speaker 1: it's almost like a sweatshot because it's just the smell
Speaker 1: and the odor and the stench from people that are
Speaker 1: coming in and out. But yeah, I missed those days.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're gonna have any of those
Speaker 1: anytime sooner. What holy shit, California, finish the governor and
Speaker 1: get rid of this loser governor and Gavin Newsom in California,
Speaker 1: we all hope. I don't know anyone that doesn't want
Speaker 1: him removed. His governor is a terrible governor. And there's
Speaker 1: a recall effort underway and then apparently on the cusp
Speaker 1: of happening. Yeah, we're I think we're about a hundred
Speaker 1: thousand signatures away from the recall. The only thing that
Speaker 1: scares me about that is can you imagine what losers
Speaker 1: are going to run to replace him? Well? No, because
Speaker 1: the other thing is he might say that these signatures
Speaker 1: aren't authentic. Yeah, yeah, he's gonna have to go and
Speaker 1: eat a stake at the French laundry to whether or
Speaker 1: not they're authentic and have a nice glass of wine
Speaker 1: there as he as he does his things. So on
Speaker 1: this podcast we have the Valor Victorian and also a
Speaker 1: hot Take thumbs up plus pop Quiz. All right, all right,
Speaker 1: this is original content. Nobody else has this content. They
Speaker 1: all want the content. They can't have the content. It's
Speaker 1: our content nobody else has. So you want Valor Victorian,
Speaker 1: you want Hot Take thumbs up or pop Quiz? What
Speaker 1: do you want? I think we go pop quiz first,
Speaker 1: get it out of the way. I don't know if
Speaker 1: they get it out of the way. See pop Quiz
Speaker 1: is wonderful. Don't dismiss pop quiz. Yeah, but why would
Speaker 1: you dismiss pop quiz Because it's typically like schools and sessions,
Speaker 1: So you want to get the tests over with before
Speaker 1: you get to anything else like lab work or any
Speaker 1: kind of interns. See your instincts on this. That's a
Speaker 1: bad job by pop Quiz. Like if back in the
Speaker 1: day when I was a kid and I watched the
Speaker 1: Tonight Show, you don't watch it anymore. But they watched
Speaker 1: it with Leanto, I watched it with I'm Old. I
Speaker 1: watched it with Johnny Carson, the big name. They didn't
Speaker 1: bring out right away, right, They didn't bring the big
Speaker 1: name out. They wanted you to stay and watch and
Speaker 1: then you know what I mean. It's not like they'd
Speaker 1: have a list of gas and then they'd have Usually
Speaker 1: somebody would get bumped depending on how along the main
Speaker 1: main guest went, But usually have somebody come out first.
Speaker 1: Then you have the main guest, and then you finish
Speaker 1: up with if you have time left, somebody else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this is a this is a story arc that
Speaker 1: will conclude with Valedictorian. So I feel I see, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, well listen, your instincts are terrible, but we'll
Speaker 1: do that. That's fine, if you want to do that.
Speaker 1: We will start with pop quiz. My fault for asking.
Speaker 1: I should have just taken the lead there and guided
Speaker 1: you through the abyss. But we will. We'll start with
Speaker 1: pop quiz. So these are things I found scouring around
Speaker 1: the dark web that I found interesting enough to quiz
Speaker 1: guest gun. But really I'm quizzing you as the list
Speaker 1: whether you're working out, doing some yardwork, freezing your ass
Speaker 1: off in a winter blizzard, whatever it might, or shopping
Speaker 1: or shopping for tomorrow and your significant other. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: advice is to wait until the day after everything's all
Speaker 1: the candies, half off, all the flowers or half off.
Speaker 1: They gotta get rid of that stuff. Just make sure
Speaker 1: you got some endurance for the night. Yeah, well, let's
Speaker 1: see about that, all right, So pop quiz, here we go.
Speaker 1: Due to the pandemic, which seemingly will never end. Due
Speaker 1: to the pandemic, there are four million of these currently
Speaker 1: sitting in warehouses all around the United States. But a
Speaker 1: direct result of the pandemic, and it is somewhat related
Speaker 1: to sports, In fact, very related to sports. Oh do
Speaker 1: do do Do Do? Do? Do? Do do do do um?
Speaker 1: Related to sports? Do do do do? Do Do do do Um? Alright,
Speaker 1: time is up. Final answers. Yeah, I'm gonna say. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say football's uh no. Since the Major League Baseball
Speaker 1: season was played with no fans, there are four million
Speaker 1: bubble heads sitting in the warehouses across the United States
Speaker 1: that we're gonna be given away by the Cincinnati Reds,
Speaker 1: the Minnesota Twins, the Dodgers, the Mariners, the Stros, and
Speaker 1: every other team in baseball, and none of those have
Speaker 1: been given out. Now, let's see the problem with that is,
Speaker 1: I would like to do an analysis. How many of
Speaker 1: those bubble heads are for players that are no longer
Speaker 1: on the current team. That's a good one, right, like
Speaker 1: Tampa Bay head that bro I'm risking my life Blake
Speaker 1: Snell and he's now a Padre. Did they have any
Speaker 1: Blake Snell bobble heads last year they were gonna give
Speaker 1: away from Trevor Bauer. That's right, Trevor Bauer and Cincinnati.
Speaker 1: He gone, I go down the list. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: you know, somewhere there's Key k Hernandez bobble heads. And
Speaker 1: he's not around the Dodger, he said, he's gone to
Speaker 1: the Red Sox. All right, if you do not do
Speaker 1: this during an interview, two thirds of hiring managers will
Speaker 1: turn you down for the job. So if you don't
Speaker 1: do this in an interview, then you have a very
Speaker 1: small chance of getting hired to do said job. Ask
Speaker 1: for the job. So you have to ask for the job. Now,
Speaker 1: it's something involving body language. Sit up straight, No, damn dude, dude, dude,
Speaker 1: this explains why you're not getting these good jobs. Guest
Speaker 1: con you don't know the answer. Yeah, good job of you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, it's gonna help you out. It's
Speaker 1: gonna change your life and in magical ways. Here all right,
Speaker 1: tell me make eye contact. If you don't make eye contact,
Speaker 1: they think you're up to trouble. They think you're a
Speaker 1: shady character. You're a shyster. Interesting, it's all about that icon.
Speaker 1: People do not like being an icon. Yeah, makes them uncomfortable. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: when you're out and about there and you're walking around
Speaker 1: some ritzy beach with all the uh elitist west of
Speaker 1: the four oh five, I'm always smiling, looking smiling, trying
Speaker 1: to make eye contact with the ladies, right, But they
Speaker 1: don't like to make eye contact with you right now,
Speaker 1: because that's a connection. There's a connection when you make
Speaker 1: eye contact. There's a connection for a moment, for a
Speaker 1: split second, there's a connection. There's a bond between two
Speaker 1: people when you make eye contact. Yeah, but they're not
Speaker 1: usually looking at my eyes. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I don't know what else there is to look at,
Speaker 1: you know, suns out, guns out, you know. Wow, back legs,
Speaker 1: you know it's the beach. It's l a man, what
Speaker 1: do you want? Bending over? Like the photos on your
Speaker 1: grinder account? He got going on there, But jeez, we
Speaker 1: are looking live. Oh I dropped something again. Let me
Speaker 1: bend over and pick it up. Here, let's see what
Speaker 1: we got, all right? Man? All right? Uh this, this
Speaker 1: creature has more taste buds than any other on earth
Speaker 1: or in water. I'm gonna must have the greatest palette
Speaker 1: in the world. This particular thing, I'm gonna say it's
Speaker 1: not kosher. I was gonna say an ant, but an
Speaker 1: ant I'm gonna say a ladybug. Uh No, catfish, catfish.
Speaker 1: According to this report, there there are a hundred and
Speaker 1: seventy five thousand taste buds all over the body of
Speaker 1: a catfish. So I mean, if you get I don't
Speaker 1: eat catfish, but if you eat catfish, you're eating taste buds. Wow.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. Humans. By the way, for comparison, U slowly humans.
Speaker 1: Right now we have ten thousand, ten thous That tongue
Speaker 1: is covered with those taste buds. Yeah, covered, all right.
Speaker 1: Sunglasses were originally this I didn't know this. This one's cool.
Speaker 1: I like this one. Sunglasses were originally invented to hide
Speaker 1: the eyes of people belonging to this profession. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure whether this is bullshit or not, but firefighters, no.
Speaker 1: I think of somebody who has to be an arbitrator
Speaker 1: of things. A judge, yes, a judge. Wow? Is that
Speaker 1: why wiggs were invented to for the judge? They love
Speaker 1: the our friends in in Europe with the in Britain
Speaker 1: there with the the the English judges with the white wiggs.
Speaker 1: And do they still do that? I don't know, Like
Speaker 1: in Parliament, yeah, I don't know. I I do like
Speaker 1: when they were going through the Brexit thing couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, they would show the shouting matches and it
Speaker 1: was so entertaining to watch the British politicians screaming at
Speaker 1: each other. I thought it was wonderful. There's so much
Speaker 1: more entertaining than the idiots here in America. The ones
Speaker 1: that are crying right now try to and they claim
Speaker 1: to have decorum and uh survived the nuclear winter? Yes,
Speaker 1: absolutely all right. If you'd like to make a woman
Speaker 1: feel truly love, this is important, guest, gun your single
Speaker 1: guy Valentine's Day weekend, If you'd like to make a
Speaker 1: woman feel truly loved. Ten percent of them said to
Speaker 1: do this. What is it only ten percent countsis? Cook
Speaker 1: for them? That's always your default answer. Well, I was
Speaker 1: always your I'd say, let's say clean, but I think
Speaker 1: that's too obvious clean. Uh No, it is fill up
Speaker 1: the car with gas. What Yeah, that's flame funk That
Speaker 1: gas is expensive. Well, if you're with in a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone, you can just instead of them, you're you're
Speaker 1: you're going to join account or something like that. My god,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if the decide that
Speaker 1: for a later time. So you're you're an anti gass
Speaker 1: or is that what you're saying there? Just you know,
Speaker 1: I mean everyone's got their own investments and them are
Speaker 1: more profitable than others. All right, Uh la la la
Speaker 1: la la Lee. Here's another one. This has been ranked.
Speaker 1: We're doing pop quiz. This has been ranked as one
Speaker 1: of the top ways you can ruin your whole day.
Speaker 1: What is it? Drop your phone and water? No, but
Speaker 1: it does involve water. Get up, take a nice shower,
Speaker 1: and there's no hot water. Hot water heater has gone
Speaker 1: out and you can't take a hot shower. Now, I
Speaker 1: have been told and I've heard from several people that
Speaker 1: I trust that actually taking a cold shower is really
Speaker 1: good for you. Stimulates your body, stimulates your metabolism. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's might be true. But the way to take a
Speaker 1: cold showers to start out with a warm shower and
Speaker 1: turn the water down. I don't know. That's the way
Speaker 1: that that's the proper bullshit, that's the proper way to
Speaker 1: do it. I don't know. If you start out with
Speaker 1: warm water and you say it's it's the same thing
Speaker 1: as the boiling frog. You turn the water down slowly
Speaker 1: and get it colder and colder, and by the time
Speaker 1: you get done it's an ice cold shower. You started
Speaker 1: out warm, you ended up cold. That's the way to
Speaker 1: do it. That's like going from a jacuzzi to a pool. Though, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not. It's not your slowly turning the temperature of
Speaker 1: the water down slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. What
Speaker 1: a snob? So why do it teaching life lessons? Yes,
Speaker 1: one third of American homes have one of these. One
Speaker 1: third um a gazebo. Now a welcome matt, welcome man?
Speaker 1: Do you have a welcome mat? Do your scon of
Speaker 1: course my wife has a welcome Yeah, little pixie dust. Sure,
Speaker 1: absolutely all right. The last time the average person didn't
Speaker 1: this chore at their house was five months ago. Oh man,
Speaker 1: what is it? I'm gonna I'm gonna say dust. That's
Speaker 1: a good one. Most people don't dust very often. Uh No,
Speaker 1: the answer is clean out the fridge. Now that my
Speaker 1: my wife loves cleaning out the fridge. Really yes to
Speaker 1: a problematic situation because it's almost every other week she's
Speaker 1: cleaning out the fridge and and I'm like, well, she
Speaker 1: has up thrown away food that we could still eat.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Does she clean out the freezer to freezer?
Speaker 1: Not as much freeze or not as much? Yea, what
Speaker 1: you're talking about, Gus g I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. Stasking a question. It's a
Speaker 1: time machine in there, there's a there's a flashback to
Speaker 1: a different time. Yeah, but it's perfectly fine. The food
Speaker 1: in there is perfectly fine where it should be. Right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just got a phone call from Tom LOUDI should
Speaker 1: I answer my phone call from Tom LOUDI? Probably not right,
Speaker 1: Probably not. He's gonna be triggered about something, and you
Speaker 1: should pick it up. I guarantee he'll be scream at.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready, He's I don't think I've been awake
Speaker 1: long enough to deal with his bull crap. They do
Speaker 1: not think. I don't think the that that's something I'm
Speaker 1: interested in there so not right now. I'm not a
Speaker 1: good I'm not a good riser, and I hate alarm clocks.
Speaker 1: But the sound of his voice is that of an
Speaker 1: alarm clock. He is at a ten, especially when he
Speaker 1: gets triggered. Well, I like to hit his buttons and uh.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, so I and then I give him
Speaker 1: his own medicine, you know, I use his rhetoric's liberal
Speaker 1: rhetoric against him and uh, and then he gets upset
Speaker 1: by that, and uh, you know, pretty much go back
Speaker 1: and forth. He accuses me of only watching Fox News,
Speaker 1: and I said he only watches CNN, and so that's
Speaker 1: you know, like, well we're in the same spot, you know,
Speaker 1: if that's the case, because you know, anyway, all right,
Speaker 1: let's see what do we have next year? Uh, let's
Speaker 1: see any meny mighty alright. Thirty seven of Americans say
Speaker 1: that they have never done this uh in the car
Speaker 1: about that had sex? Uh had sex? Uh? No, no, no.
Speaker 1: This one's odd to me because I don't know how
Speaker 1: you can drive properly in a big city without doing this.
Speaker 1: Honk the horn? Oh man, now hank the horn? Man?
Speaker 1: Are you a tapper or do you sit on the
Speaker 1: horn when you hank it? Well, when I had a
Speaker 1: big masculine horn, I would really just pound the horn
Speaker 1: and that would But now I have kind of a weak,
Speaker 1: embarrassing horn on my malanmobile, very bad. It's just it's
Speaker 1: like a clown clown horn. So I don't. I'm a
Speaker 1: little embarrassed, but I still hit it. But I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not loud and proud, you know. I don't pump
Speaker 1: my chest out and hold the horn down like an
Speaker 1: fh you. I don't do that, but I'll tap it.
Speaker 1: I'll give a tap atually when you're changing lanes and
Speaker 1: the asshole will not allow you to get over or
Speaker 1: speeds up or you know, vice versa little tap tap.
Speaker 1: Although I've noticed and that backing out of parking places
Speaker 1: is often the most risky thing that you could have
Speaker 1: got an accidents backing up or or driving and somebody
Speaker 1: backing into me. That's happened multiple times of office workers
Speaker 1: have one of these in their desk. What is it? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, a picture of a loved one picture picture, No,
Speaker 1: A toothbrush, good dental hygiene. That reminding that reminded I
Speaker 1: was when I was younger. I uh not that I
Speaker 1: dated many people, but I did date a woman whose
Speaker 1: father was a dentist, and she would brush her teeth
Speaker 1: like four times a day. It was so freaking annoying.
Speaker 1: It was so good. It was so annoying. I guess gun.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this is a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Ask you you said that brings something up? Say because
Speaker 1: you brought it up last week with cars. I didn't
Speaker 1: realize it. I cleaned out my car last week and
Speaker 1: lo and behold, I found a toothbrush and toothpaste in
Speaker 1: my center console. You had to ask this question or similar. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we had pop quiz about the I was like, wait
Speaker 1: a minute, and it's you know when you get it
Speaker 1: from the dentist and a little baggie. I had it
Speaker 1: my oh the baggy. Yeah. I would stash like my
Speaker 1: big eating days, I'd stash bags of candy and I'd
Speaker 1: have a little bagge and then I forget about it
Speaker 1: and it would be you know, heat, the heat and
Speaker 1: the cold that would be disgusting. And then usually gotta
Speaker 1: have like you gotta a little mouthwash in case you
Speaker 1: need the mouthwash, and you gotta have a little bit
Speaker 1: of deodor. You gotta have that. Those are the two
Speaker 1: key things you gotta have in your car and all times,
Speaker 1: just in case you end up in front of someone
Speaker 1: who's you want to you want to impress them. You
Speaker 1: don't want to smell and look like a slob. So alright,
Speaker 1: One in every four people you see here are scrolling
Speaker 1: through social media. Do do do do do do do do?
Speaker 1: Wait can you say that again? Alright? One in every
Speaker 1: four people you see here at this location are scrolling
Speaker 1: through social media. Starbucks no better than the Starbucks. Church.
Speaker 1: Oh man, go go to church. Get an update, status update.
Speaker 1: Let's see what's on the Graham, See what the booty
Speaker 1: models are doing over there on the Instagram, and I'll
Speaker 1: knock yourself out. That's always good. Yes, I can't go
Speaker 1: wrong with that. You cannot go wrong with that. Alright. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's see here of men have borrowed this from their
Speaker 1: significant other. What is it? The utterant that is correct? Alright?
Speaker 1: Last one on pop quiz, last one on pop of
Speaker 1: couples are doing this for Valentine's Day? What is it? Nothing?
Speaker 1: No watching romantic movies? Oh boy, alright, so that that
Speaker 1: is pop quiz. Why don't you know what we need
Speaker 1: to do? Now we have what do we have here?
Speaker 1: We have hot take thumbs up in valor Victorian. Let's
Speaker 1: do let's do the hot takes alright, Hot takes them up,
Speaker 1: So thumbs up. So the other day I did a
Speaker 1: rant about Russell Wilson. Russell went on the Dan Patrick
Speaker 1: Show on Fox Sports Radio and complained, he cavetched. That
Speaker 1: is you know, we played the Woe is Me card
Speaker 1: about being sacked three ninety four times and now this
Speaker 1: was like a war crime. And he blamed the offensive
Speaker 1: line for all of his problems. So I did a rant.
Speaker 1: And this has been my belief most of the time,
Speaker 1: not always, but most of the time quarterback sacks. This
Speaker 1: is one of the things that the average fan does
Speaker 1: not understand about foot but they think that it's always
Speaker 1: the fat guys on the offensive line's fault when a
Speaker 1: quarterback gets sacked. There's no other explanation. It always the court,
Speaker 1: It's always the offensive line's fault, the quarterback, the darling.
Speaker 1: It's never the darling's fault. You know, the star the
Speaker 1: whole thing. Well, I've I've understood and watching football and
Speaker 1: observing and that it is often the quarterbacks fault. So
Speaker 1: I pointed this out. I did a rant about Russell Wilson,
Speaker 1: and I said, the biggest problem Russell Wilson has is
Speaker 1: his he needs a clockmaker because his internal clock is
Speaker 1: messed up. He could have had half the number of
Speaker 1: sacks that he's had if he would have just gotten
Speaker 1: rid of the ball. And anyone in football who coaches
Speaker 1: football will tell you an incomplete pass is better than
Speaker 1: a sack. You'd rather have an So I did this rant.
Speaker 1: I went a little Mallard monologue. Rant was an a
Speaker 1: good you know, I was okay, But it was given
Speaker 1: the thumbs up by a former NFL executive of the
Speaker 1: year boy who agreed with my hot take. He liked it.
Speaker 1: Endorsed by a former NFL executive, Randy Remember Randy Mueller.
Speaker 1: He was the general manager of the New Orleans Saints
Speaker 1: and the Miami Dolphins. He also he's worked with He
Speaker 1: actually worked with the Seahawks and the Chargers, and he,
Speaker 1: you know, on social media, endorsed my rant about Russell Wilson,
Speaker 1: that's the two thousand NFL Executive of the year. Put
Speaker 1: that in your pipe and smoking. I guess he does
Speaker 1: a podcast now, but he's a guy worked in the
Speaker 1: NFL for many many years as a talent evaluator, and
Speaker 1: he gave me the thumbs up to that. Mallard monolu
Speaker 1: put that in your pipe and smoking. You just said that.
Speaker 1: I'm saying it again because you didn't respond. I would
Speaker 1: like I would like you to genuinect. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, it's fine. It's not fine, it's all right,
Speaker 1: it's wonderful. That is a confirmation that the hot take
Speaker 1: was right, that that's hot take, confirmation he was Executive
Speaker 1: the year in two thousands. That validated, that validated my
Speaker 1: hot take, that that gave substance to what I was saying.
Speaker 1: But wouldn't that actually not making a hot take anymore?
Speaker 1: Wouldn't that actually just making a good take and not
Speaker 1: a hot take? No, No, that's a red hot take
Speaker 1: that you don't see. There's a noticeable difference. You don't
Speaker 1: notice that. There's a noticeable difference that tips the scale
Speaker 1: any reasonable person would point out that tips the scale
Speaker 1: in favor of the take, right, that was a key indicator,
Speaker 1: but key indicated the take was exceptional. It was. It
Speaker 1: was amazing, tremendous. But we usually we usually consider hot
Speaker 1: takes bullshit takes that I have no merit to them,
Speaker 1: like on on on on on. This was this was
Speaker 1: such a red hot, red hot take that it's like
Speaker 1: in the Take Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: that amazing. That's in the take Hall of Fame. Like
Speaker 1: you could have put it on a grill, barbecued it,
Speaker 1: seared it for ten minutes and I would it turned
Speaker 1: out well done. It's such a shut up, I know you.
Speaker 1: It's such a wonderful hot take. It's it's like you
Speaker 1: could burn your tongue right because of all the hot
Speaker 1: take uh you know, fallout from from that hot take.
Speaker 1: I'm excited for its overpowering, right it is. It is
Speaker 1: one of the great hot I mean blistering hot. Okay,
Speaker 1: so let me go on hot. How many other ways
Speaker 1: can you say hot? Answer answering listing hot, scalding hot,
Speaker 1: and white hot. That's roting hot? Is it better than
Speaker 1: any take you've ever had on Clayton Kershaw when he
Speaker 1: has just defecated on himself in the postseason. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: those are some of those are the Michaelangelo. It's Justine
Speaker 1: Chapel me me coming in after watching Kershaw puke up
Speaker 1: a playoff game. That is the gold stand. That is
Speaker 1: the art stick. Everything else is measured against that. Everything
Speaker 1: else is that. It's like a five car pile up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the great thing about Kershaw is he he fucked
Speaker 1: up so many times that I had a lot of
Speaker 1: a lot of practice mastering. It's like playing with clay
Speaker 1: and moving it around, you know, It's like it's like
Speaker 1: clay in your hands there and uh yeah, So I
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun with that. But do you
Speaker 1: think he stays put though in Seattle? That's the question. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Seahawks are are not because of the salary cap,
Speaker 1: even though Russell has become a little toxic right now,
Speaker 1: they're not. I would be They're not gonna trade him now. Certainly,
Speaker 1: if they were to move him, it would have to
Speaker 1: be I think after sometime in June because they'd saved
Speaker 1: some money on that. But it is interesting to see
Speaker 1: his career arc in Seattle because don't forget. I mean
Speaker 1: there are issues with Richard Sherman and the Legion of
Speaker 1: Boom talking about how he got preferential treatment. Russell Wilson. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was the darling. He was the most popular person
Speaker 1: in class. He was the teacher's pet. And I'd make
Speaker 1: that argument every day that that defense for such a
Speaker 1: long period of time was what won them games and
Speaker 1: obviously a super Bowl, not the offense binding stretch of
Speaker 1: the imagination. Well, the defensive guys started getting along in
Speaker 1: the tooth though. That was part of the problem. They
Speaker 1: got rid of them, and they kept the hot shot
Speaker 1: quarterback who just is the doppel ganger of Pete carroll Man.
Speaker 1: Not anymore though. Now he's going off his own. He's
Speaker 1: going rogue, going rogue, all right, Uh so we have
Speaker 1: the Valor Victorian. You want the Vale of Victorian? Said
Speaker 1: the best for last one of my bucket list items
Speaker 1: happened this week? I guess John I got the phone call.
Speaker 1: I was called in out of the bullpen a professor emeritus.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's true. The great Rob
Speaker 1: Parker reached out to me and said, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm teaching a class over here at the USC and
Speaker 1: I would like to have you speak to my class
Speaker 1: about your experiences in the radio business. And sure enough
Speaker 1: I answered the call. I changed my entire sleep schedule around.
Speaker 1: I was invited it to be a guest speaker at
Speaker 1: the University of Southern California. We did it on zoom
Speaker 1: because we're social distancing, but for roughly forty five minutes
Speaker 1: in the middle of my night because I normally am
Speaker 1: sleeping at this time levin in the morning on Monday,
Speaker 1: I got up with very little sleep and I regaled
Speaker 1: the undergrads with war stories from the front lines of
Speaker 1: sports talk radio. And it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Had a good time, and I got to ask some
Speaker 1: good questions with little Q and a thing after I
Speaker 1: did my little opening rant, and I enjoyed a lot.
Speaker 1: I don't want to thank Rob for inviting me in
Speaker 1: I I've had people in the past they I'd like
Speaker 1: you to come speak to my class and sports plus
Speaker 1: he invited me, but it never happened. Uh. And then
Speaker 1: he's a caller or a listener. And then also there
Speaker 1: was a guy I was buddy of mine that was
Speaker 1: a professor at Auburn of all places, and he wanted
Speaker 1: me to do a Zoom thing. This is before Zoom
Speaker 1: became cool. That never worked out, and then he left
Speaker 1: Auburn and he went to another school. So this is
Speaker 1: the first time I've done it, and it was a
Speaker 1: lot of fun and I had a good time. And
Speaker 1: so I am open if you are a teacher of
Speaker 1: radio and television now, because of Zoom, I am willing
Speaker 1: to go on a rubber Chicken circuit and tell war
Speaker 1: stories of the overnight in sports talk radio. This is
Speaker 1: my future. I can see myself. I robbed down the
Speaker 1: line teaching a class on broadcasting. Why not? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: can certainly do that. That's one thing I'm going like,
Speaker 1: because isn't the way it works. To to be qualified
Speaker 1: and teach, you have to be in the profession for
Speaker 1: ten Yeah. I've been in for over twenties. So I'm good.
Speaker 1: God you're done. You're that old. No. No. I started
Speaker 1: when I was one year and one year I was
Speaker 1: my mom was I was a prodigy. And at one
Speaker 1: years old, I was a toddler and uh, and I
Speaker 1: barely knew how to walk, and uh, I couldn't talk,
Speaker 1: And I learned how to do sports radio. We can
Speaker 1: make you an adjunct professor somewhere Long Beach today. I'll
Speaker 1: be great, and you love to be and yeah, I
Speaker 1: do the and Eaters. Yeah, then they're gonna have the
Speaker 1: title adjunct Professor'll be great. I would not call you
Speaker 1: professor professor malas, that would be wonderful. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: that at some point, if I'm lucky enough to live along,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna teach radio or I
Speaker 1: guess by then it will be just be podcasting. But
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. I am gonna do it. Guesscan
Speaker 1: I Am going to do it. Okay, it's gonna happen,
Speaker 1: all right, that will put the baby to bed. There
Speaker 1: and again, if you didn't hear, we had and yesterday
Speaker 1: we had Plaxico buriss On. It was a lot of fun,
Speaker 1: Plaxical telling war stories from his career. I'm playing with
Speaker 1: the Giants and the Jets, and I love this reaction.
Speaker 1: We asked him about the difference between the Giants and
Speaker 1: the Jets, and the pretty much laughed the difference between
Speaker 1: playing for those two those two teams. Um So anyway, listen,
Speaker 1: I have a great rest your Saturday. We have the
Speaker 1: mailbag on Sunday. Sunday Sunday and we'll catch it. Then,
Speaker 1: be sure to catch live editions of The Bed Mallar
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific