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Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller

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Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific.

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Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week,

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Speaker 1: was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the

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Speaker 1: old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads

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Speaker 1: in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill

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Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of hot takes.

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Speaker 1: Break free for something specialitur with Ben Maller starts right

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Speaker 1: now on a Saturday Saturday Saturday. We welcome you into

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Speaker 1: the Magic podcast Box, where all your audio content needs

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Speaker 1: are taken care of on the weekends. Here as the

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Speaker 1: spinoff of the Ben Maller Show. All this is only

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Speaker 1: available in the podcast format. You figured that out already,

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Speaker 1: and we do this because hey, four hours in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night clearly not enough. Eight days a week,

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Speaker 1: eight days a week in Thank you for subscribing, whether

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Speaker 1: it's on the I Heart podcast platform or anywhere else.

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Speaker 1: You get your podcast available everywhere, and tell a friend,

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Speaker 1: Tell a friend, tell a friend. And unfortunately I look

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Speaker 1: at the calendar here and it appears that David Gascon

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Speaker 1: is with us again. This week here and set. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: boom friend fresh meat and my my good friend the

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Speaker 1: Penny took ourselves on a nice trip last couple of

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Speaker 1: days after celebrating one Super Bowl victory for Tom Brady.

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Speaker 1: There's a job well done by the Penny. I'd like

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Speaker 1: to pat myself on the back for well. The Penny

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Speaker 1: actually went on a hiatus. If you know this uh

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Speaker 1: a situation my personal life. The well actually originally the

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Speaker 1: Penny went on hiatus because he didn't want to do

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Speaker 1: it over the the Christmas holiday festivities. But then and

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Speaker 1: you know, Christmas and New Years and then so what happens,

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Speaker 1: So we we just put the Penny on hold pen.

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Speaker 1: He's on ice right now, and he's on like a

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Speaker 1: box ice sitting there. And then that's how that's going

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Speaker 1: so good. It was excellent now it's the Depression. Was

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Speaker 1: a terrible game. It was a horrible game. The game

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Speaker 1: got an F. It was was an F game. It

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Speaker 1: was a crap game. It was a terrible game. The

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Speaker 1: production was bad too. It was bad from start to finish,

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Speaker 1: pregame to post game, the production, the commercials, it all sucked. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's not something that we're gonna sit here and

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Speaker 1: so I remember where you were when you watched the

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Speaker 1: Bucks Chief Super Bowl and how amazing that was. No,

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Speaker 1: there was none of that. I know, none of that.

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Speaker 1: I thought one would be better than so far not

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Speaker 1: so good. Yeah, it appears that was the warm up act.

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Speaker 1: Gonna go see a comedy show and they had the

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Speaker 1: warm up comedian and then the main comedian comes on

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, my favorite And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you've ever done this, but there's a few comedy stores

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Speaker 1: where we live, and one of my favorites is actually

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Speaker 1: in Hermosa Beach, and on Fridays and on Sundays, Jed

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Speaker 1: Letta would go there and do some of his he'd

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Speaker 1: practice some of his routine for the week. He'd go

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Speaker 1: there on Sundays, but on Fridays and Sundays, they would

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Speaker 1: typically do instead of having like your warm up and

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Speaker 1: then your main your your main set of comedians, they

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Speaker 1: do it round robin. So they'd have a round robin

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Speaker 1: of fifteen or twenty comedians that would come out and

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Speaker 1: they get two minutes on the clock and you go

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Speaker 1: for two minutes and the buzzer sounds and you get

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Speaker 1: the funk out. And that was one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: acts to watch because you had these guys that were

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Speaker 1: full throttle for two minutes. They didn't have time to

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Speaker 1: ponder around and like you know, use the audience as

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Speaker 1: a subject. Those are some of my favorite acts to

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Speaker 1: see from a comedy store. I don't know if you've been.

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Speaker 1: We call that in the profession. We call that the

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Speaker 1: sports talk radio version of comedy where you go two

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Speaker 1: minutes because the caller gets about two minutes on the

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Speaker 1: air and then you move on to the next call.

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Speaker 1: So it's really comedy stealing from sports talk radio's good

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Speaker 1: bad job by them. Yeah, did they have a seven

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Speaker 1: and a half to drag queen from Rochester? No? No,

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Speaker 1: in Buffalo, no drag queens, No trenies, no eighty year

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Speaker 1: old women, eighty year old women? Do they have truck

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Speaker 1: drivers from Arkansas that double fist Big Max at three

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Speaker 1: in the morning. One woman looked like she did. Yes. Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: you can't go to a comedy club now, right There're

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Speaker 1: still they're not open a comedy club. In a while,

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Speaker 1: I used to like going to comedy was I liked

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Speaker 1: Jeff Garland used to pop up. I think he's in

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Speaker 1: Hollywood now to comedy club, the guy from the Big

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Speaker 1: Fat Guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm, and he would he

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Speaker 1: would hit this club in Burbank every Sunday night and

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Speaker 1: he had he had a regular gig there and he

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Speaker 1: just he didn't prepare anything. Of course, he did no preparation.

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Speaker 1: He just went out there and ripped people on the

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Speaker 1: audience and that was a stick and just saw him

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Speaker 1: and it was good. I don't know he was he

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Speaker 1: was fine. Yeah, he was all right. But yeah, sometimes

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Speaker 1: the comedy clubs around l A, like the bigger name

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Speaker 1: comedians that live in l A. Well just like in

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Speaker 1: fact of the day, they would just pop up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've heard story like back many many the late great

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Speaker 1: George Carlin. Yeah, would sometimes just walk in and then

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Speaker 1: you want to do a few minutes and test something

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Speaker 1: out and for an HBO special or something like that

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Speaker 1: and serious and yeah, there's well the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: They have the regular stage and then they have a

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Speaker 1: separate stage like adjacent to it, but upstairs it's almost

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Speaker 1: like a frat house and that's what they do their

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Speaker 1: their typical roast battles and the roast battles he'd see

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Speaker 1: on Comedy Central with Jeffrey Ross, he'd be roasting people

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Speaker 1: at the time. He would actually randomly show up. Um

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Speaker 1: that that's really small. It's it probably holds about thirty people,

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Speaker 1: and then it has like a small stage area for

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Speaker 1: v I P s. But like that is that is it?

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Speaker 1: So when you get Jeffrey Ross that goes in there,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like a sweatshot because it's just the smell

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Speaker 1: and the odor and the stench from people that are

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Speaker 1: coming in and out. But yeah, I missed those days.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we're gonna have any of those

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Speaker 1: anytime sooner. What holy shit, California, finish the governor and

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Speaker 1: get rid of this loser governor and Gavin Newsom in California,

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Speaker 1: we all hope. I don't know anyone that doesn't want

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Speaker 1: him removed. His governor is a terrible governor. And there's

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Speaker 1: a recall effort underway and then apparently on the cusp

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Speaker 1: of happening. Yeah, we're I think we're about a hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand signatures away from the recall. The only thing that

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Speaker 1: scares me about that is can you imagine what losers

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Speaker 1: are going to run to replace him? Well? No, because

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Speaker 1: the other thing is he might say that these signatures

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Speaker 1: aren't authentic. Yeah, yeah, he's gonna have to go and

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Speaker 1: eat a stake at the French laundry to whether or

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Speaker 1: not they're authentic and have a nice glass of wine

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Speaker 1: there as he as he does his things. So on

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Speaker 1: this podcast we have the Valor Victorian and also a

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Speaker 1: hot Take thumbs up plus pop Quiz. All right, all right,

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Speaker 1: this is original content. Nobody else has this content. They

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Speaker 1: all want the content. They can't have the content. It's

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Speaker 1: our content nobody else has. So you want Valor Victorian,

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Speaker 1: you want Hot Take thumbs up or pop Quiz? What

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Speaker 1: do you want? I think we go pop quiz first,

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Speaker 1: get it out of the way. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: they get it out of the way. See pop Quiz

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Speaker 1: is wonderful. Don't dismiss pop quiz. Yeah, but why would

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Speaker 1: you dismiss pop quiz Because it's typically like schools and sessions,

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Speaker 1: So you want to get the tests over with before

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Speaker 1: you get to anything else like lab work or any

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Speaker 1: kind of interns. See your instincts on this. That's a

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Speaker 1: bad job by pop Quiz. Like if back in the

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Speaker 1: day when I was a kid and I watched the

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Speaker 1: Tonight Show, you don't watch it anymore. But they watched

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Speaker 1: it with Leanto, I watched it with I'm Old. I

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Speaker 1: watched it with Johnny Carson, the big name. They didn't

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Speaker 1: bring out right away, right, They didn't bring the big

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Speaker 1: name out. They wanted you to stay and watch and

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Speaker 1: then you know what I mean. It's not like they'd

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Speaker 1: have a list of gas and then they'd have Usually

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Speaker 1: somebody would get bumped depending on how along the main

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Speaker 1: main guest went, But usually have somebody come out first.

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Speaker 1: Then you have the main guest, and then you finish

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Speaker 1: up with if you have time left, somebody else. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but this is a this is a story arc that

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Speaker 1: will conclude with Valedictorian. So I feel I see, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, well listen, your instincts are terrible, but we'll

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Speaker 1: do that. That's fine, if you want to do that.

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Speaker 1: We will start with pop quiz. My fault for asking.

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Speaker 1: I should have just taken the lead there and guided

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Speaker 1: you through the abyss. But we will. We'll start with

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Speaker 1: pop quiz. So these are things I found scouring around

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Speaker 1: the dark web that I found interesting enough to quiz

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Speaker 1: guest gun. But really I'm quizzing you as the list

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Speaker 1: whether you're working out, doing some yardwork, freezing your ass

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Speaker 1: off in a winter blizzard, whatever it might, or shopping

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Speaker 1: or shopping for tomorrow and your significant other. Yeah, my

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Speaker 1: advice is to wait until the day after everything's all

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Speaker 1: the candies, half off, all the flowers or half off.

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Speaker 1: They gotta get rid of that stuff. Just make sure

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Speaker 1: you got some endurance for the night. Yeah, well, let's

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Speaker 1: see about that, all right, So pop quiz, here we go.

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Speaker 1: Due to the pandemic, which seemingly will never end. Due

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Speaker 1: to the pandemic, there are four million of these currently

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Speaker 1: sitting in warehouses all around the United States. But a

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Speaker 1: direct result of the pandemic, and it is somewhat related

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Speaker 1: to sports, In fact, very related to sports. Oh do

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Speaker 1: do do Do Do? Do? Do? Do do do do um?

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Speaker 1: Related to sports? Do do do do? Do Do do do Um? Alright,

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Speaker 1: time is up. Final answers. Yeah, I'm gonna say. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say football's uh no. Since the Major League Baseball

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Speaker 1: season was played with no fans, there are four million

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Speaker 1: bubble heads sitting in the warehouses across the United States

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Speaker 1: that we're gonna be given away by the Cincinnati Reds,

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota Twins, the Dodgers, the Mariners, the Stros, and

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Speaker 1: every other team in baseball, and none of those have

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Speaker 1: been given out. Now, let's see the problem with that is,

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Speaker 1: I would like to do an analysis. How many of

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Speaker 1: those bubble heads are for players that are no longer

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Speaker 1: on the current team. That's a good one, right, like

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Speaker 1: Tampa Bay head that bro I'm risking my life Blake

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Speaker 1: Snell and he's now a Padre. Did they have any

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Speaker 1: Blake Snell bobble heads last year they were gonna give

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Speaker 1: away from Trevor Bauer. That's right, Trevor Bauer and Cincinnati.

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Speaker 1: He gone, I go down the list. I'm sure there's

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Speaker 1: you know, somewhere there's Key k Hernandez bobble heads. And

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Speaker 1: he's not around the Dodger, he said, he's gone to

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Speaker 1: the Red Sox. All right, if you do not do

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Speaker 1: this during an interview, two thirds of hiring managers will

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Speaker 1: turn you down for the job. So if you don't

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Speaker 1: do this in an interview, then you have a very

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Speaker 1: small chance of getting hired to do said job. Ask

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Speaker 1: for the job. So you have to ask for the job. Now,

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Speaker 1: it's something involving body language. Sit up straight, No, damn dude, dude, dude,

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Speaker 1: this explains why you're not getting these good jobs. Guest

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Speaker 1: con you don't know the answer. Yeah, good job of you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, it's gonna help you out. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna change your life and in magical ways. Here all right,

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Speaker 1: tell me make eye contact. If you don't make eye contact,

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Speaker 1: they think you're up to trouble. They think you're a

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Speaker 1: shady character. You're a shyster. Interesting, it's all about that icon.

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Speaker 1: People do not like being an icon. Yeah, makes them uncomfortable. Yeah. Now,

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Speaker 1: when you're out and about there and you're walking around

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Speaker 1: some ritzy beach with all the uh elitist west of

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Speaker 1: the four oh five, I'm always smiling, looking smiling, trying

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Speaker 1: to make eye contact with the ladies, right, But they

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Speaker 1: don't like to make eye contact with you right now,

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Speaker 1: because that's a connection. There's a connection when you make

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Speaker 1: eye contact. There's a connection for a moment, for a

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Speaker 1: split second, there's a connection. There's a bond between two

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Speaker 1: people when you make eye contact. Yeah, but they're not

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Speaker 1: usually looking at my eyes. You get what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what else there is to look at,

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Speaker 1: you know, suns out, guns out, you know. Wow, back legs,

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Speaker 1: you know it's the beach. It's l a man, what

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Speaker 1: do you want? Bending over? Like the photos on your

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Speaker 1: grinder account? He got going on there, But jeez, we

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Speaker 1: are looking live. Oh I dropped something again. Let me

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Speaker 1: bend over and pick it up. Here, let's see what

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Speaker 1: we got, all right? Man? All right? Uh this, this

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Speaker 1: creature has more taste buds than any other on earth

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Speaker 1: or in water. I'm gonna must have the greatest palette

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Speaker 1: in the world. This particular thing, I'm gonna say it's

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Speaker 1: not kosher. I was gonna say an ant, but an

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Speaker 1: ant I'm gonna say a ladybug. Uh No, catfish, catfish.

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Speaker 1: According to this report, there there are a hundred and

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Speaker 1: seventy five thousand taste buds all over the body of

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Speaker 1: a catfish. So I mean, if you get I don't

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Speaker 1: eat catfish, but if you eat catfish, you're eating taste buds. Wow.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting. Humans. By the way, for comparison, U slowly humans.

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Speaker 1: Right now we have ten thousand, ten thous That tongue

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Speaker 1: is covered with those taste buds. Yeah, covered, all right.

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Speaker 1: Sunglasses were originally this I didn't know this. This one's cool.

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Speaker 1: I like this one. Sunglasses were originally invented to hide

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Speaker 1: the eyes of people belonging to this profession. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure whether this is bullshit or not, but firefighters, no.

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Speaker 1: I think of somebody who has to be an arbitrator

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Speaker 1: of things. A judge, yes, a judge. Wow? Is that

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Speaker 1: why wiggs were invented to for the judge? They love

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Speaker 1: the our friends in in Europe with the in Britain

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Speaker 1: there with the the the English judges with the white wiggs.

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Speaker 1: And do they still do that? I don't know, Like

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Speaker 1: in Parliament, yeah, I don't know. I I do like

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Speaker 1: when they were going through the Brexit thing couple of

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Speaker 1: years ago, they would show the shouting matches and it

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Speaker 1: was so entertaining to watch the British politicians screaming at

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Speaker 1: each other. I thought it was wonderful. There's so much

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Speaker 1: more entertaining than the idiots here in America. The ones

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Speaker 1: that are crying right now try to and they claim

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Speaker 1: to have decorum and uh survived the nuclear winter? Yes,

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Speaker 1: absolutely all right. If you'd like to make a woman

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Speaker 1: feel truly love, this is important, guest, gun your single

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Speaker 1: guy Valentine's Day weekend, If you'd like to make a

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Speaker 1: woman feel truly loved. Ten percent of them said to

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Speaker 1: do this. What is it only ten percent countsis? Cook

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Speaker 1: for them? That's always your default answer. Well, I was

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Speaker 1: always your I'd say, let's say clean, but I think

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Speaker 1: that's too obvious clean. Uh No, it is fill up

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Speaker 1: the car with gas. What Yeah, that's flame funk That

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Speaker 1: gas is expensive. Well, if you're with in a relationship

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Speaker 1: with someone, you can just instead of them, you're you're

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Speaker 1: you're going to join account or something like that. My god,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if the decide that

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Speaker 1: for a later time. So you're you're an anti gass

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Speaker 1: or is that what you're saying there? Just you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean everyone's got their own investments and them are

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Speaker 1: more profitable than others. All right, Uh la la la

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Speaker 1: la la Lee. Here's another one. This has been ranked.

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Speaker 1: We're doing pop quiz. This has been ranked as one

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Speaker 1: of the top ways you can ruin your whole day.

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Speaker 1: What is it? Drop your phone and water? No, but

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Speaker 1: it does involve water. Get up, take a nice shower,

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Speaker 1: and there's no hot water. Hot water heater has gone

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Speaker 1: out and you can't take a hot shower. Now, I

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Speaker 1: have been told and I've heard from several people that

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Speaker 1: I trust that actually taking a cold shower is really

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Speaker 1: good for you. Stimulates your body, stimulates your metabolism. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's might be true. But the way to take a

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Speaker 1: cold showers to start out with a warm shower and

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Speaker 1: turn the water down. I don't know. That's the way

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Speaker 1: that that's the proper bullshit, that's the proper way to

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Speaker 1: do it. I don't know. If you start out with

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Speaker 1: warm water and you say it's it's the same thing

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Speaker 1: as the boiling frog. You turn the water down slowly

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Speaker 1: and get it colder and colder, and by the time

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Speaker 1: you get done it's an ice cold shower. You started

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Speaker 1: out warm, you ended up cold. That's the way to

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Speaker 1: do it. That's like going from a jacuzzi to a pool. Though, no, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not. It's not your slowly turning the temperature of

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Speaker 1: the water down slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. What

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Speaker 1: a snob? So why do it teaching life lessons? Yes,

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Speaker 1: one third of American homes have one of these. One

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Speaker 1: third um a gazebo. Now a welcome matt, welcome man?

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Speaker 1: Do you have a welcome mat? Do your scon of

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Speaker 1: course my wife has a welcome Yeah, little pixie dust. Sure,

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Speaker 1: absolutely all right. The last time the average person didn't

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Speaker 1: this chore at their house was five months ago. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: what is it? I'm gonna I'm gonna say dust. That's

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Speaker 1: a good one. Most people don't dust very often. Uh No,

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Speaker 1: the answer is clean out the fridge. Now that my

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Speaker 1: my wife loves cleaning out the fridge. Really yes to

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Speaker 1: a problematic situation because it's almost every other week she's

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Speaker 1: cleaning out the fridge and and I'm like, well, she

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Speaker 1: has up thrown away food that we could still eat.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Does she clean out the freezer to freezer?

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Speaker 1: Not as much freeze or not as much? Yea, what

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Speaker 1: you're talking about, Gus g I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. Stasking a question. It's a

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Speaker 1: time machine in there, there's a there's a flashback to

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Speaker 1: a different time. Yeah, but it's perfectly fine. The food

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Speaker 1: in there is perfectly fine where it should be. Right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just got a phone call from Tom LOUDI should

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Speaker 1: I answer my phone call from Tom LOUDI? Probably not right,

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Speaker 1: Probably not. He's gonna be triggered about something, and you

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Speaker 1: should pick it up. I guarantee he'll be scream at.

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready, He's I don't think I've been awake

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Speaker 1: long enough to deal with his bull crap. They do

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Speaker 1: not think. I don't think the that that's something I'm

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Speaker 1: interested in there so not right now. I'm not a

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Speaker 1: good I'm not a good riser, and I hate alarm clocks.

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Speaker 1: But the sound of his voice is that of an

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Speaker 1: alarm clock. He is at a ten, especially when he

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Speaker 1: gets triggered. Well, I like to hit his buttons and uh.

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Speaker 1: And then yeah, so I and then I give him

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Speaker 1: his own medicine, you know, I use his rhetoric's liberal

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Speaker 1: rhetoric against him and uh, and then he gets upset

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00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: by that, and uh, you know, pretty much go back

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Speaker 1: and forth. He accuses me of only watching Fox News,

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Speaker 1: and I said he only watches CNN, and so that's

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Speaker 1: you know, like, well we're in the same spot, you know,

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, because you know, anyway, all right,

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Speaker 1: let's see what do we have next year? Uh, let's

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Speaker 1: see any meny mighty alright. Thirty seven of Americans say

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Speaker 1: that they have never done this uh in the car

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Speaker 1: about that had sex? Uh had sex? Uh? No, no, no.

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Speaker 1: This one's odd to me because I don't know how

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Speaker 1: you can drive properly in a big city without doing this.

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Speaker 1: Honk the horn? Oh man, now hank the horn? Man?

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Speaker 1: Are you a tapper or do you sit on the

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Speaker 1: horn when you hank it? Well, when I had a

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Speaker 1: big masculine horn, I would really just pound the horn

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Speaker 1: and that would But now I have kind of a weak,

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Speaker 1: embarrassing horn on my malanmobile, very bad. It's just it's

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Speaker 1: like a clown clown horn. So I don't. I'm a

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Speaker 1: little embarrassed, but I still hit it. But I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not loud and proud, you know. I don't pump

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Speaker 1: my chest out and hold the horn down like an

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Speaker 1: fh you. I don't do that, but I'll tap it.

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00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 1: I'll give a tap atually when you're changing lanes and

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Speaker 1: the asshole will not allow you to get over or

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Speaker 1: speeds up or you know, vice versa little tap tap.

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Speaker 1: Although I've noticed and that backing out of parking places

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Speaker 1: is often the most risky thing that you could have

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Speaker 1: got an accidents backing up or or driving and somebody

365
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Speaker 1: backing into me. That's happened multiple times of office workers

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Speaker 1: have one of these in their desk. What is it? Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, a picture of a loved one picture picture, No,

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Speaker 1: A toothbrush, good dental hygiene. That reminding that reminded I

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Speaker 1: was when I was younger. I uh not that I

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Speaker 1: dated many people, but I did date a woman whose

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Speaker 1: father was a dentist, and she would brush her teeth

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Speaker 1: like four times a day. It was so freaking annoying.

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Speaker 1: It was so good. It was so annoying. I guess gun.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this is a nightmare.

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Speaker 1: Ask you you said that brings something up? Say because

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Speaker 1: you brought it up last week with cars. I didn't

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Speaker 1: realize it. I cleaned out my car last week and

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Speaker 1: lo and behold, I found a toothbrush and toothpaste in

379
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Speaker 1: my center console. You had to ask this question or similar. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we had pop quiz about the I was like, wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, and it's you know when you get it

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Speaker 1: from the dentist and a little baggie. I had it

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Speaker 1: my oh the baggy. Yeah. I would stash like my

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00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 1: big eating days, I'd stash bags of candy and I'd

385
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Speaker 1: have a little bagge and then I forget about it

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00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 1: and it would be you know, heat, the heat and

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00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: the cold that would be disgusting. And then usually gotta

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Speaker 1: have like you gotta a little mouthwash in case you

389
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Speaker 1: need the mouthwash, and you gotta have a little bit

390
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 1: of deodor. You gotta have that. Those are the two

391
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: key things you gotta have in your car and all times,

392
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Speaker 1: just in case you end up in front of someone

393
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Speaker 1: who's you want to you want to impress them. You

394
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Speaker 1: don't want to smell and look like a slob. So alright,

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Speaker 1: One in every four people you see here are scrolling

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Speaker 1: through social media. Do do do do do do do do?

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00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 1: Wait can you say that again? Alright? One in every

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Speaker 1: four people you see here at this location are scrolling

399
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: through social media. Starbucks no better than the Starbucks. Church.

400
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: Oh man, go go to church. Get an update, status update.

401
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: Let's see what's on the Graham, See what the booty

402
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: models are doing over there on the Instagram, and I'll

403
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 1: knock yourself out. That's always good. Yes, I can't go

404
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: wrong with that. You cannot go wrong with that. Alright. Uh,

405
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 1: let's see here of men have borrowed this from their

406
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: significant other. What is it? The utterant that is correct? Alright?

407
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: Last one on pop quiz, last one on pop of

408
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 1: couples are doing this for Valentine's Day? What is it? Nothing?

409
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 1: No watching romantic movies? Oh boy, alright, so that that

410
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,920
Speaker 1: is pop quiz. Why don't you know what we need

411
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 1: to do? Now we have what do we have here?

412
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 1: We have hot take thumbs up in valor Victorian. Let's

413
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: do let's do the hot takes alright, Hot takes them up,

414
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: So thumbs up. So the other day I did a

415
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: rant about Russell Wilson. Russell went on the Dan Patrick

416
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: Show on Fox Sports Radio and complained, he cavetched. That

417
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: is you know, we played the Woe is Me card

418
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: about being sacked three ninety four times and now this

419
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: was like a war crime. And he blamed the offensive

420
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 1: line for all of his problems. So I did a rant.

421
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: And this has been my belief most of the time,

422
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: not always, but most of the time quarterback sacks. This

423
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: is one of the things that the average fan does

424
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: not understand about foot but they think that it's always

425
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: the fat guys on the offensive line's fault when a

426
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: quarterback gets sacked. There's no other explanation. It always the court,

427
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: It's always the offensive line's fault, the quarterback, the darling.

428
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: It's never the darling's fault. You know, the star the

429
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: whole thing. Well, I've I've understood and watching football and

430
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 1: observing and that it is often the quarterbacks fault. So

431
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: I pointed this out. I did a rant about Russell Wilson,

432
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,479
Speaker 1: and I said, the biggest problem Russell Wilson has is

433
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 1: his he needs a clockmaker because his internal clock is

434
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 1: messed up. He could have had half the number of

435
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: sacks that he's had if he would have just gotten

436
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: rid of the ball. And anyone in football who coaches

437
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: football will tell you an incomplete pass is better than

438
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: a sack. You'd rather have an So I did this rant.

439
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 1: I went a little Mallard monologue. Rant was an a

440
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 1: good you know, I was okay, But it was given

441
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 1: the thumbs up by a former NFL executive of the

442
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 1: year boy who agreed with my hot take. He liked it.

443
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: Endorsed by a former NFL executive, Randy Remember Randy Mueller.

444
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 1: He was the general manager of the New Orleans Saints

445
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 1: and the Miami Dolphins. He also he's worked with He

446
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: actually worked with the Seahawks and the Chargers, and he,

447
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: you know, on social media, endorsed my rant about Russell Wilson,

448
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: that's the two thousand NFL Executive of the year. Put

449
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: that in your pipe and smoking. I guess he does

450
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: a podcast now, but he's a guy worked in the

451
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,479
Speaker 1: NFL for many many years as a talent evaluator, and

452
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: he gave me the thumbs up to that. Mallard monolu

453
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: put that in your pipe and smoking. You just said that.

454
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm saying it again because you didn't respond. I would

455
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: like I would like you to genuinect. You know, I'm

456
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: just saying, it's fine. It's not fine, it's all right,

457
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 1: it's wonderful. That is a confirmation that the hot take

458
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: was right, that that's hot take, confirmation he was Executive

459
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: the year in two thousands. That validated, that validated my

460
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: hot take, that that gave substance to what I was saying.

461
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: But wouldn't that actually not making a hot take anymore?

462
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 1: Wouldn't that actually just making a good take and not

463
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: a hot take? No, No, that's a red hot take

464
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: that you don't see. There's a noticeable difference. You don't

465
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: notice that. There's a noticeable difference that tips the scale

466
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: any reasonable person would point out that tips the scale

467
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: in favor of the take, right, that was a key indicator,

468
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: but key indicated the take was exceptional. It was. It

469
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: was amazing, tremendous. But we usually we usually consider hot

470
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: takes bullshit takes that I have no merit to them,

471
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 1: like on on on on on. This was this was

472
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: such a red hot, red hot take that it's like

473
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 1: in the Take Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah, it's it's

474
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: that amazing. That's in the take Hall of Fame. Like

475
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: you could have put it on a grill, barbecued it,

476
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: seared it for ten minutes and I would it turned

477
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: out well done. It's such a shut up, I know you.

478
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: It's such a wonderful hot take. It's it's like you

479
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: could burn your tongue right because of all the hot

480
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: take uh you know, fallout from from that hot take.

481
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: I'm excited for its overpowering, right it is. It is

482
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 1: one of the great hot I mean blistering hot. Okay,

483
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: so let me go on hot. How many other ways

484
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: can you say hot? Answer answering listing hot, scalding hot,

485
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: and white hot. That's roting hot? Is it better than

486
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: any take you've ever had on Clayton Kershaw when he

487
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: has just defecated on himself in the postseason. No, no, no, no,

488
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: those are some of those are the Michaelangelo. It's Justine

489
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: Chapel me me coming in after watching Kershaw puke up

490
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: a playoff game. That is the gold stand. That is

491
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: the art stick. Everything else is measured against that. Everything

492
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: else is that. It's like a five car pile up. Yeah.

493
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: And the great thing about Kershaw is he he fucked

494
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: up so many times that I had a lot of

495
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: a lot of practice mastering. It's like playing with clay

496
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: and moving it around, you know, It's like it's like

497
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: clay in your hands there and uh yeah, So I

498
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun with that. But do you

499
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: think he stays put though in Seattle? That's the question. Yeah,

500
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: the Seahawks are are not because of the salary cap,

501
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: even though Russell has become a little toxic right now,

502
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: they're not. I would be They're not gonna trade him now. Certainly,

503
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 1: if they were to move him, it would have to

504
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: be I think after sometime in June because they'd saved

505
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: some money on that. But it is interesting to see

506
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: his career arc in Seattle because don't forget. I mean

507
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: there are issues with Richard Sherman and the Legion of

508
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: Boom talking about how he got preferential treatment. Russell Wilson. Yeah,

509
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: he was the darling. He was the most popular person

510
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: in class. He was the teacher's pet. And I'd make

511
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: that argument every day that that defense for such a

512
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: long period of time was what won them games and

513
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: obviously a super Bowl, not the offense binding stretch of

514
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: the imagination. Well, the defensive guys started getting along in

515
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: the tooth though. That was part of the problem. They

516
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: got rid of them, and they kept the hot shot

517
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: quarterback who just is the doppel ganger of Pete carroll Man.

518
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: Not anymore though. Now he's going off his own. He's

519
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: going rogue, going rogue, all right, Uh so we have

520
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: the Valor Victorian. You want the Vale of Victorian? Said

521
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: the best for last one of my bucket list items

522
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: happened this week? I guess John I got the phone call.

523
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: I was called in out of the bullpen a professor emeritus.

524
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's true. The great Rob

525
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: Parker reached out to me and said, hey, you know,

526
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: I'm teaching a class over here at the USC and

527
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: I would like to have you speak to my class

528
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: about your experiences in the radio business. And sure enough

529
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: I answered the call. I changed my entire sleep schedule around.

530
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: I was invited it to be a guest speaker at

531
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: the University of Southern California. We did it on zoom

532
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: because we're social distancing, but for roughly forty five minutes

533
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: in the middle of my night because I normally am

534
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: sleeping at this time levin in the morning on Monday,

535
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: I got up with very little sleep and I regaled

536
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: the undergrads with war stories from the front lines of

537
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 1: sports talk radio. And it was a lot of fun.

538
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: Had a good time, and I got to ask some

539
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: good questions with little Q and a thing after I

540
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: did my little opening rant, and I enjoyed a lot.

541
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to thank Rob for inviting me in

542
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: I I've had people in the past they I'd like

543
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: you to come speak to my class and sports plus

544
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: he invited me, but it never happened. Uh. And then

545
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: he's a caller or a listener. And then also there

546
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: was a guy I was buddy of mine that was

547
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: a professor at Auburn of all places, and he wanted

548
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: me to do a Zoom thing. This is before Zoom

549
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: became cool. That never worked out, and then he left

550
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: Auburn and he went to another school. So this is

551
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: the first time I've done it, and it was a

552
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: lot of fun and I had a good time. And

553
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 1: so I am open if you are a teacher of

554
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: radio and television now, because of Zoom, I am willing

555
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: to go on a rubber Chicken circuit and tell war

556
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: stories of the overnight in sports talk radio. This is

557
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: my future. I can see myself. I robbed down the

558
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 1: line teaching a class on broadcasting. Why not? Yeah, you

559
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 1: can certainly do that. That's one thing I'm going like,

560
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: because isn't the way it works. To to be qualified

561
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: and teach, you have to be in the profession for

562
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: ten Yeah. I've been in for over twenties. So I'm good.

563
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: God you're done. You're that old. No. No. I started

564
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: when I was one year and one year I was

565
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: my mom was I was a prodigy. And at one

566
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,479
Speaker 1: years old, I was a toddler and uh, and I

567
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: barely knew how to walk, and uh, I couldn't talk,

568
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: And I learned how to do sports radio. We can

569
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: make you an adjunct professor somewhere Long Beach today. I'll

570
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: be great, and you love to be and yeah, I

571
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: do the and Eaters. Yeah, then they're gonna have the

572
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: title adjunct Professor'll be great. I would not call you

573
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: professor professor malas, that would be wonderful. I'm gonna do

574
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: that at some point, if I'm lucky enough to live along,

575
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna teach radio or I

576
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: guess by then it will be just be podcasting. But

577
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. I am gonna do it. Guesscan

578
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: I Am going to do it. Okay, it's gonna happen,

579
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: all right, that will put the baby to bed. There

580
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: and again, if you didn't hear, we had and yesterday

581
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: we had Plaxico buriss On. It was a lot of fun,

582
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: Plaxical telling war stories from his career. I'm playing with

583
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: the Giants and the Jets, and I love this reaction.

584
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: We asked him about the difference between the Giants and

585
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: the Jets, and the pretty much laughed the difference between

586
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: playing for those two those two teams. Um So anyway, listen,

587
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: I have a great rest your Saturday. We have the

588
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: mailbag on Sunday. Sunday Sunday and we'll catch it. Then,

589
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: be sure to catch live editions of The Bed Mallar

590
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific