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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast zero. Here's Nikki. Hello here I am,

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Speaker 1: It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer. Andrew Collin is

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Speaker 1: here too. We're in St. Louis in the studio. I

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Speaker 1: just realized that, um these lights. I turned them both

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Speaker 1: to me on Sunday night. So right now I think

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Speaker 1: it's I think it's good. I just you know, I

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Speaker 1: need a little You can definitely turn it, but I

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Speaker 1: just realized that we can fix it later. And you

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Speaker 1: think Andrew looks a little bit shadowy in um these

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Speaker 1: in this footage on YouTube, which you can see in

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Speaker 1: a couple of days. UM let us know in the

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Speaker 1: comments below, looks like, what's that thing that done? To

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Speaker 1: see a shadow? Groundhog? Yeah? I feel like I have

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Speaker 1: a lot of that energy. You do have groundhog energy?

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Speaker 1: What so if you see my shadow that means winters? Wait?

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Speaker 1: Why do you groundog energy? I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: even mean to me. I guess because you're like you're

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Speaker 1: like hibernating and then you come out and you're kind

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Speaker 1: of like like someone has to pick you out of bed.

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Speaker 1: Like there's always that fat man with the mustache, like

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Speaker 1: the twisty mustache who holds him and you're just like

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Speaker 1: like kind of just waking up, and you're like and

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Speaker 1: then you either like see your saddow and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I tend to go play golf or yeah, back to bed, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: golf or bed. It's I feel like anything with a hog. Uh,

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Speaker 1: I kind of have hog energy. And then if you

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Speaker 1: add ground, which seems lazy, can't get on it. Though

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Speaker 1: I'll get down. I could get down, I just can't

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Speaker 1: get back up. And I can't get down either. I

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Speaker 1: can't really. Yeah, I just gotta stay there for all winter. Apparently.

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Speaker 1: How's the relationship with the cat going? Um, I would

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Speaker 1: say it's better, I would say, he would disagree. Um,

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Speaker 1: I have a cat named Mango. We rescued him. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much. Stop stop, seriously stop stop um stop applause.

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Speaker 1: Oh right, the people at home, Yeah, please just listen

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Speaker 1: to the podcast, you guys. Stop hooting and hollering and

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Speaker 1: banging pots and pants. He is not a nursery and

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Speaker 1: I just I just adopted him. I'm just a human,

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Speaker 1: just like you guys. And he only did it because

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Speaker 1: he first looked at getting a breeder dog, but it

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Speaker 1: was too expensive. Now everyone's sitting down. Not everyone's sitting down. Um,

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Speaker 1: the cat's good man. The cat is uh you know

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Speaker 1: he Like where is he when you come back to

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Speaker 1: your apartment and Bretna is not there? Like, what's he doing?

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Speaker 1: He smoking? Rats, fucking treating rolling stone? You know, No,

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Speaker 1: he either. He's either looking out the window. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what he's looking for. He's always ready to pounce,

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Speaker 1: but there's nothing to pounce. I think that's anxiety when

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Speaker 1: you're ready to pounce and there's nothing to pounce. That's

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Speaker 1: what the definition of anod ideas. Does Buzzy like you

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Speaker 1: more than Avi? Noah? He is so good about like

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Speaker 1: spreading his love equally. He's so loving. Um, he he

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Speaker 1: does like Avi's beard. In the morning, He'll just come

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Speaker 1: up and like head butt him, just like it's describes

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Speaker 1: post to his beard. So I tell av that it

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Speaker 1: probably reminds him of his mom's tongue. Oh yeah, because

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Speaker 1: their top mom cat's tongues. If you do a really

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Speaker 1: close up of it, it's the most disgusting thing you've

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Speaker 1: ever seen. Yeah, it just looks like a hipster from Brooklyn.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever seen a cat's tongue up close? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so little, Like little makes me sick. Yeah, anything

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Speaker 1: up close is disgusting, Yeah it does. I love a

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Speaker 1: cat's tongue, but like any yeah, you're right, anything up close.

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Speaker 1: There was this like video of a guy putting like

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Speaker 1: an apple he just gets at the store, like under

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Speaker 1: a microscope, and the things that were crawling in this apple.

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Speaker 1: I am an. I love apples, but I don't even

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Speaker 1: want to use my phone anymore. You know, anything anything

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Speaker 1: in the body and thing the skin makes me pretty nauseous.

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Speaker 1: But I saw something recently and it looked like you're

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Speaker 1: like your blood, your platelets or whatever, having a real

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Speaker 1: big party in there. I'm not kidding. He was like, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's a giant inside you. But have you ever worn

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Speaker 1: your sunglasses and the light reflected in a way that

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Speaker 1: it like magnified the skin around, Yes, and you could

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Speaker 1: see it side. I don't see the pores, but you

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Speaker 1: can see really magnified skin. Wait, you're seeing the reflection

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Speaker 1: inside your like see the reflection of like this edge

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Speaker 1: of your skin, like right by your eye, like this

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Speaker 1: part in the glass. And it's like a very close up,

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Speaker 1: Like you've never seen your skin that close? I mean,

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Speaker 1: were you a microscope head back in the day, like

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Speaker 1: in science class with the little glasses, like a little glass,

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Speaker 1: all I want to see is like pieces of skin.

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Speaker 1: I rip off my fingers and just outside like I

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Speaker 1: think once I oh, man, I used to do something

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Speaker 1: really weird, Like I used to rip out my hangnails

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Speaker 1: and put them underneath there because I just wanted like

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Speaker 1: behind the like when everyone else when I was done

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Speaker 1: with my project or whatever, I just like hanging out

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Speaker 1: and waiting for the slogans catch up. And I was

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Speaker 1: slow in science. I was mad at it. I was

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Speaker 1: so bad at time. I put um hot glue inside

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Speaker 1: my wound, like my um to pull out I hang nail.

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Speaker 1: I put like hot glue in it just to like

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Speaker 1: torture it. I was just such a weirdo. It felt

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Speaker 1: so good and bad at the same time. I love

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Speaker 1: touring things. We've talked about science projects before on here. Chemistry,

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Speaker 1: and what's the other one? Physics, Yeah, that's not my brain.

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Speaker 1: Chemistry was not for me. Physics, I like, really it's

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Speaker 1: very math heavy. For some reason, I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was like very interesting about like things in perpetual motion,

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Speaker 1: that they will always be in motion unless there's friction

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Speaker 1: like they were just like kind of you always be

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Speaker 1: emotion unless there's prison you talk about the motion in

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Speaker 1: the ocean. It's how my physical that's how he demonstrated

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Speaker 1: it on top of the microscope. You don't microscopes in physics.

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Speaker 1: But I just like, you know, like doing this with

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Speaker 1: strings and seeing like the waves and like just wavelengths.

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Speaker 1: I don't know for some reason, was um just the

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Speaker 1: laws of the universe are interesting to me as opposed

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Speaker 1: to like h two plus oh to carry the like,

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Speaker 1: like chemical reactions are not as interesting. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know how I got through chemistry. You remember this that,

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Speaker 1: you know it was big for a while in our childhood,

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Speaker 1: the ball thing on the strings where the one ball

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Speaker 1: would hit and then the very last ball. Oh that

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Speaker 1: are on like Richmond's desks, and yeah, why was that?

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Speaker 1: Got hug? Those are so cool. Still em fascinated by that.

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Speaker 1: Actually it's pretty cool because if you did three, then

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Speaker 1: three would go on the other side. I don't know how. Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was cool. Don't shoot the messengers. A very very angry,

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Speaker 1: dased and confused thing going on right now, like a

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Speaker 1: modern day days and confused really because I have like

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Speaker 1: baggy like Janko Tina pants On. I think if you,

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Speaker 1: if you, if you google a photo of Dasing confused,

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Speaker 1: I think Nicky's nailing it right now. Is it amused?

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Speaker 1: But abused? Is better? Sorry? No, I like it better.

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Speaker 1: This is a Wilco shirt. I got my parents a

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Speaker 1: huge box. Hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna share that

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Speaker 1: you've never seen Dasing reviews. I don't think so. It

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Speaker 1: was just just after that was just a little too

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Speaker 1: young for it, you know, Empire Records. I saw what

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Speaker 1: was your high school movie that you would watch with

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Speaker 1: your friends and go, I'm that girl now and then

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Speaker 1: but that was kids and you know, can't hardly wait

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Speaker 1: and um uh wait you thought you were those kids?

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Speaker 1: Well that blonde chick, Yeah that is acused. Look, yeah,

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Speaker 1: who's in that? Matthew McConaughey, Is that the one that's

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Speaker 1: like they keep getting older and we get younger or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is? Is that it? No, that's Ridge High,

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Speaker 1: that's it. That's it. The line from Matthew McConaughey is

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Speaker 1: they keep getting keep we say the same age. No,

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Speaker 1: the cool thing is we keep getting older and stayed

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Speaker 1: the same age, which is the most pedified writer, and no,

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Speaker 1: she's not the girl from Chasing Amy's in it with

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Speaker 1: the high voice. Then yeah, okay, where does she go

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Speaker 1: out of her voice? Yeah, she did not stay the

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Speaker 1: same age, So she got older, but her voice stayed

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Speaker 1: the same age. I have such a good time on

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Speaker 1: stage when I do an impression of Elizabeth Holmes from

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Speaker 1: the dropout or like you know, from when I do this,

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Speaker 1: like there was a part of me the other night

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Speaker 1: that wanted to do my whole set like this. You

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Speaker 1: think people would lose it. No, people would, I think

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Speaker 1: be very fascinated because that is how she got like

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Speaker 1: that was one of her tactics to get men to

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Speaker 1: like her. I feel like any instructional part of your set,

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Speaker 1: you could go into that, into this because it feels

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Speaker 1: very ted talk like I would learn from that voice. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because my point is that men tune out when a woman.

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Speaker 1: Do you think she would have ever had any success?

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Speaker 1: And can you imagine her being like I have this

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Speaker 1: idea for this blood machine that is in every Walgreens

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Speaker 1: where you don't have to like prick your finger, and

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Speaker 1: I'm really like, I think it's going to be so good.

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Speaker 1: Can you give me a billion dollars as opposed to

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Speaker 1: idea like it's just funny. You have to dress for

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Speaker 1: that voice too, Like she couldn't wear like a low

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Speaker 1: blouse and then be like, hey you want maybe she

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Speaker 1: could maybe have low blouse. Always my theory is that

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Speaker 1: she was like I can't to you know, she's a

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Speaker 1: smart woman and was like, I can't lead with sexuality,

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Speaker 1: Like that's not gonna be my strong suit to get

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Speaker 1: men to listen to me. What else do I do?

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Speaker 1: I think it depends on them. Depends what you're selling, right,

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Speaker 1: Like if you're at like like if you're trying, if

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Speaker 1: you're trying to be sexual, this is your voice, like

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Speaker 1: any of you your tips? Why doesn't sexual work with

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Speaker 1: blood plate list? But she wasn't a sexy person, like

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Speaker 1: she just went into the other she got more masculine.

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Speaker 1: I do like the idea of like taking someone like

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Speaker 1: a young Sidney Crawford and having her as the spokesperson

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Speaker 1: for like Jean replicate whatever the funk they were doing

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Speaker 1: it there, you know what I mean? Like I guess, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know where the cut off of just being

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Speaker 1: pretty cells, you know what I mean? Like, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: do think though that she's I mean that was a

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Speaker 1: like people know that was an affected voice. Yeah, she

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Speaker 1: was trying to when she's not selling that sound. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's there's, there's uh and it's almost like Ilaria like

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Speaker 1: those people that are like I knew her back in

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Speaker 1: the day she was Hillary because Elizabeth Holmes did not

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Speaker 1: talk like that kind of thing. Um, the MET Gala

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Speaker 1: is so stupid. I woke up so fucking angry today.

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Speaker 1: I hate the MET Gala. I get I always see

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Speaker 1: one of your of your story. No, I was um

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Speaker 1: because I was looking up news stories for why do

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Speaker 1: I care? And that's all that there are, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I wonder if Nikki would ever go to

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Speaker 1: the mind anyone? Does anyone know what it is? I

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Speaker 1: googled it the Guild or what is it? You're glided age?

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Speaker 1: I think it was glided. I know you're gonna tell

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Speaker 1: me I'm dark, but I am. This could be a

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Speaker 1: hair jealousy moment. But it's something like Anna win toward.

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Speaker 1: It's like a part of like a museum thing. It

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Speaker 1: was like a part of the Guggenheim. But like, why

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Speaker 1: don't we know, like what what the funk is this thing?

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Speaker 1: And who the fun here. Guess what, you know what?

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Speaker 1: The oscars are only entertaining because they're comedians. They're making

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Speaker 1: fun of it. Celebrities on their own are boring. I'm

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Speaker 1: so everyone on the red carpet looks piste off. No

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Speaker 1: one smiles, everyone looks uncomfortable. I just hate it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I would go on a second, you can't wait to

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Speaker 1: be invited, and all of the things that I ever

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Speaker 1: posted will come back on me. But I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: this right now. I would go, yes, you get the

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Speaker 1: call tomorrow. I would go, what do you wear this? No,

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Speaker 1: I mean I would have Stilace dressed me in something

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Speaker 1: that I'm deeply uncomfortable in that is supposed to represent

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Speaker 1: this theme that you would say something about our world.

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Speaker 1: It's so stupid. You want to do like you knowing

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Speaker 1: you know what's done for anyone who's not in fashion.

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Speaker 1: People in fashion have at it. It means something to them. Celebrities,

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Speaker 1: it's just celebrity worship, these people who do nothing. I'm

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Speaker 1: just tired of talentless celebrities. You know what I'd wear.

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Speaker 1: I'd wear anything I could find out a gas station

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Speaker 1: in the Midwest. That's what I would. By the way,

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Speaker 1: where a hat that says like people have tried to

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Speaker 1: do that before. That's like every joke has been done.

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Speaker 1: You know, Stone dressed is like j Lo for the Oscars.

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Speaker 1: It's been mocked before. It's it's just dumb, and it's everywhere.

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Speaker 1: It's it's everywhere, And I'm you know what, I'm glad

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Speaker 1: celebrities still have something because no one gives a funk anymore.

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Speaker 1: No one's watching the Oscars, no one the Golden Globes

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Speaker 1: are on Twitter. Let him have it, because like Hollywood

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Speaker 1: is dying, no one really worships these people anymore. It's

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Speaker 1: more about like YouTube celebrities, TikTok celebrities. Let them have

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Speaker 1: it so they feel special. But it's disgusting and there's

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Speaker 1: so much waste all these dresses. I go, where was that? Even?

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do with that? Each dress? They

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Speaker 1: give twenty other dresses to Africa the exact. I'm so

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Speaker 1: mad about it. But I'm just tired of like obviously

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Speaker 1: Lizzo has talent, Amy Schumer has talent, Um Dods and

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Speaker 1: not so much, right, I just models. I'm just over it.

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Speaker 1: I'm over worshiping model. I mean, they're beautiful and there

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Speaker 1: is something of like it's like a piece of art

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Speaker 1: where you go or like a landscape. You know, the

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Speaker 1: landscape didn't do anything to earn its beauty and so

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Speaker 1: that doesn't negate that's marvel at it, yes, but worshiping

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Speaker 1: it like it did something like it like is oh

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Speaker 1: my god, you're a queen. No no more queens about

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Speaker 1: like I'm tired of like, oh my god, I love

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Speaker 1: like like your your to die for, just like these

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Speaker 1: people that you're like, I'm such a fan of, like

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Speaker 1: young girls being fans of these women who just all

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Speaker 1: they do is care about what they look like. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just projecting because I just feel like people to no, no,

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Speaker 1: not at this point in my life, not at all,

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Speaker 1: but in the past. Like it's like, I'm so furious

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Speaker 1: about the Kim Gardashian thing. I can't I don't even

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Speaker 1: want to talk about it because it's so she is

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Speaker 1: so I feel for her because she felt the need

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Speaker 1: to start of herself to fit in that stupid dress,

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Speaker 1: and then she feels the need to it's embarrassing to

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Speaker 1: even watch her in motion. She only was that dress.

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Speaker 1: It was an authentic Marilyn Monroe dress from when she's saying,

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Speaker 1: um JFK, Happy Birthday match and square Garden like the sixties.

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Speaker 1: She wore just yes, she did not glide in that dress.

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Speaker 1: She only she had to go take a ship and

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Speaker 1: it was dripping down her legs, you know when you're like,

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Speaker 1: oh god, please, I felt bad for Pete having a carrier.

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Speaker 1: So she just wore it for that moment for the

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Speaker 1: Red carpet, and then she changed into a replica and

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Speaker 1: the museum took it back. It was like like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that remember the year she wore like a burka, a

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Speaker 1: hot burka, had her face covered and everything. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was when Cone was like losing you can you take it?

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Speaker 1: Take it down a notch? Yeah? Yeah, it was. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like it's gross. I understand celebrities do these

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Speaker 1: things crash diets to fit in things two to make

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Speaker 1: it work, and they they have these weird regiments that

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Speaker 1: they adhere. To shut up about it, You're not if

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Speaker 1: I'm triggered by it. Someone who like does not have

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Speaker 1: uh knows that crash diets don't work. That I'm like

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Speaker 1: done a ton of work on myself to not let

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Speaker 1: these kind of like outside influences affect what how I

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Speaker 1: eat and how I treat my body. What is anyone

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Speaker 1: else who hasn't done that work that is susceptible to it?

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Speaker 1: I gonna think when Kim Gardashian says, and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: there's someone listening to podcast that goes, wait, what did

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Speaker 1: she do? What she do to lose sixteen pounds in

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Speaker 1: three weeks? Well, I'll tell you what she did. She

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Speaker 1: starved herself and guess what she in one of the articles,

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Speaker 1: it says and then she binged on pizza and fucking

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Speaker 1: whatever with Pete. It's all it's all gonna come back,

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna come she's going to gain even more.

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Speaker 1: Keep it to yourself, because so UFC fighters will walk

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Speaker 1: around pounds and then they'll fight at one because it

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Speaker 1: gives them a leg up because they're naturally and naturally

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Speaker 1: a bigger person, and so after their fight, it's always like,

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Speaker 1: and then every guy I know wrestling has an eating disorder.

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Speaker 1: Everyone I know that has avery wrestling that doesn't even

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Speaker 1: wrestle anymore but still struggling with an eating disorder, and

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Speaker 1: it's well, it's it just it just sucks. I just

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Speaker 1: know the damage that her being public about that diet

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Speaker 1: is going to do to the women in our culture,

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Speaker 1: mostly women, also men, And it's like it really is

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Speaker 1: a good job for eating disorder recovery centers. They are

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Speaker 1: going to make thousands of dollars off of Kim Gardashian

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Speaker 1: because of all the people that are going to be

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Speaker 1: sent to her center because they get eating disorders get

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Speaker 1: kicked off with this. Like I just eat tomatoes for

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Speaker 1: three weeks and really clean vegetables and no sugar, and

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Speaker 1: I work, I wear a sweat suit and a sauna.

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Speaker 1: What does that sound like a good life? By the way,

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Speaker 1: I would never want to be around with someone who

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Speaker 1: was doing this. I bet she was such a fucking

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Speaker 1: bitch for three weeks. When you're hungry and doing this,

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Speaker 1: you're miserable. God, why can't people just live their lives.

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Speaker 1: I'm just so I thought we were beyond this diet culture.

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Speaker 1: Things they don't have like a like a drug or

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Speaker 1: some something for after you fall apart with the eating disorder,

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Speaker 1: Like on surprised the Kardashians, Hey, do you want to

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Speaker 1: rebound from your eating disorder? Like they're not. How far

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Speaker 1: away are they from that? That's that's not even like

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Speaker 1: a crazy thing. That they would have like like kind

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Speaker 1: of like stuff you drink after you, um, like recovery juice,

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Speaker 1: like in the morning after you like after you start

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Speaker 1: yourself for three weeks and like and you're about to

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Speaker 1: die there like two week got the perfect thing for

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Speaker 1: you to get here's a way to get your electrolytes

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Speaker 1: and you're potassium back so you don't fucking collapse in church. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they don't give a funk. They're they're very greedy people. Man.

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Speaker 1: It's when they have a billion dollars, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to keep doing it. I bet anything she has some

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Speaker 1: money and tomatoes, because she was like all I ate

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Speaker 1: was tomatoes. I'm like, I bet they have like a

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Speaker 1: new Kardashian tomato coming out. Let's take a break and

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Speaker 1: come back with the news right after this. Andrew, I'm

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Speaker 1: chi down, down, and we are back. Andrew is now

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Speaker 1: in the light. Um, I'm on the Kelly Clarkson Show today.

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Speaker 1: Tune into that pre recorded then. Obviously that was to

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Speaker 1: say that, but I'm not saying you're not calling in no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I was on it with Dr phil Ville. We became

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Speaker 1: friends on that. Um. The pictures came out from it

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Speaker 1: I'm putting one. I put some on my fucking Instagram

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00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 1: and uh, bad, bad pictures. It's a very thin line

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Speaker 1: between Elizabeth Holmes and Dr Phil. Yeah, this is he

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Speaker 1: daughter Phil. Wait, hold on, um, doctor Phil, I have

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Speaker 1: an idea for a blood machine. Now, how how's that

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00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 1: working for you? Wait? I don't. I don't. I can't

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Speaker 1: like get into it. I'm not a good you're not

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Speaker 1: a good doctor, fail impressionist like switch in. Yeah, that's hard.

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Speaker 1: It's really hard, especially very similar. Yeah, like if it's

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Speaker 1: parents Hill and elizabeth homes, you can do it. Yeah

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Speaker 1: like that that's like, oh my god, Like blood is

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00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 1: like so gross, telling me on on whatever Elizabeth's homes

359
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 1: are selling. Wait, like that's wait, it's more like like baby, Like, um,

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Speaker 1: I just don't like blood. I think of pricking my

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Speaker 1: finger and it's just like not hot. And so I'm

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Speaker 1: like trying to come up with a solution. And like

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00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: Walgreen's like a really great place. She kind of like

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Speaker 1: goes low sometimes. I honestly fun to go in there

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Speaker 1: and like just go to this machine that you just

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Speaker 1: like bring your blood in and like tell is you

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Speaker 1: like what's wrong with you? And it's just going to

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Speaker 1: be really hot and it's going to be pink, and

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Speaker 1: people to be like slipping slipping on the blessed living. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want them to be slipping on the black. I

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, what was I just? Oh blood? If

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Speaker 1: a guy with period sex? Can we talk about that

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Speaker 1: for one second? Do you think? I don't think we're

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Speaker 1: gonna ever talk about something for just one second? But yes,

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00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 1: we're talking about this for three seconds. The three segments periods,

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Speaker 1: how long is a period? Last? Don't do this? You

377
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: answered that question for me a week five days? There

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00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: you go three to five, three to six, and the

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Speaker 1: heaviest blood flowed days. I'm not trying to gross anyone out,

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00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: but just do you think do you want to have

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Speaker 1: sex on the heaviest flow sometimes because you just you

382
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: get really horny, goes your hormones and sometimes you want

383
00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: to plunge it out and you're already sucking what it's

384
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: true too? Why I'm just I'm kind of well, I

385
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: had it yesterday and I'm in for it. I get

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00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 1: in on it. I'm in on period sex, I'm all.

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00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: But sometimes the flow can be it's like it's hardy

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00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: to look like a dexter scene, and then I'm just like, Okay,

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00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: you can't expect me to like be into this when

390
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: it looks like so bloody. Yeah, it's like I mean,

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00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: if I was more into it, it'd be kind of weird.

392
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, but don't look down. Off. It's so

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00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: funny because that was said to me and I immediately

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Speaker 1: looked down, and I was dexter would be having a

395
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: field day right now. Yeah. It's like a you're on

396
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: a shaky bridge, don't look down, just walk, keep keep

397
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: going yea. And I was in the dark. Yeah, and

398
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: then the aftermath you just go clean up and like

399
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: you can have your little moment of like yikes, but

400
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: after that you're already you already came and so you're okay,

401
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 1: want anyone to feel bad about this, but it's just

402
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: my my my tolerance. It's like if I was in

403
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: a doctor's example was during the day during and don't

404
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: look down, but it's so fun to look down. That's

405
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: like going on a roller coaster and not looking down.

406
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 1: I never looked out. I never looked down. Why you

407
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,679
Speaker 1: don't want to see it ever entered like sometimes but

408
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: I'd rather like focus, no, because then I just start

409
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 1: looking at my body and I start going like, oh,

410
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: I look like I get to women just think so

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00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: much during sex, at least I do. I'm like, there's

412
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: too many things to distract me. I really have to

413
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: be amy used to have a joke about like having

414
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: an orgasm, you have to like close your eyes and

415
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: have like the kind of focus and like clear mindedness

416
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: of like a woman on a balance, like a gymnast

417
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: on a balanced beam. Like you have to have such

418
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 1: I have to like get out all everything sensory so

419
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: that I could focus just on that area to like

420
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 1: let it in, because my mind is just so like

421
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: so racing. That's why I like fanes, That's why I

422
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 1: like blindfolds, or I like closing my eyes and I like, um,

423
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: you know a role place scenario where I can where

424
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: it's required of me to get out of my own

425
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: head and like be a character. Or but it's there

426
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: is times during sex where I I really I try

427
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,439
Speaker 1: to just focus on my vagina, like my brain is

428
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: down there, just because I just feel like sometimes I'm

429
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 1: feeling all over my body and so it gets like

430
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 1: if something's poking me here, it doesn't feel as bad

431
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: as if I'm just focusing on this on my knee

432
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: right now, when I tap it, like it feels so

433
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: much more than if I'm just like totally aware of

434
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: everything I do that exact same thing I do look down,

435
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 1: I'll look down, get like, holy sh it, I can't

436
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: believe this is happening because I'm so stoked because it's

437
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: you're so high up. Yeah, but I I I'm so

438
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: like stoked on it. And then I go back to

439
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: centrally like to just my brain. But I do still

440
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: need to taste of look maybe try looking down. I

441
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: looked down before. Yeah, I just like don't. Um, I

442
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: do like it. I know that I know individuals, but

443
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: like right now with my body, I do not want

444
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 1: to look down. I just can't. Like, I just there's

445
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 1: always like a spray t hand situation that's really like

446
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: grim like I just I just don't want to look down,

447
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: and it's usually in the dark, like I do a

448
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: lot of dark stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyhow, but yeah,

449
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: I like looking at them, but and I'm yeah, I

450
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: just don't. It would be weird to look down as much.

451
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Maybe you could look up, have

452
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 1: a mirror on the roof to look down no, maybe

453
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: that would help. No, I think too much. I'll start

454
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: judging myself. It's like watching myself on TV. I just

455
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: don't want to do it. I'm doing them Wendy Williams

456
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: Show Today via Zoom with Michael Rappaport And yeah, it'll

457
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: be fine. I love him so much. When will that

458
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 1: name finally change? You know what I mean? Because he like,

459
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 1: is she gone? I mean she I think she's dead? No, no,

460
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 1: she I think she was at the met Galla. She

461
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: will she was dead there. I heard that was the theme.

462
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: That was the anyways, she actually had that freaking panic

463
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: attack on TV. That was wild. She did. She says,

464
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. Never know what, dude, It's insane. It was.

465
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: It looks like she malfunctioned, like a robot malfunction. Oh

466
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: I don't. But ever than that, I mean not that

467
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: I don't feel well. I guess I did. She says,

468
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. I feel like sometimes she almost try

469
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: she broke out. I think, really a little bit fainted.

470
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: Oh say that I didn't care or I didn't feel

471
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: bad for her. I feel bad for her. She's definitely

472
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: mentally different. Yeah, oh my god, she said my one

473
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: thing clip will never forget. And she was like, my

474
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: mom was daed but she said that her mom died

475
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: and it was just the weird. There was this like

476
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: moment where she's just talking about something so dumb, and

477
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: then she was like, and I wore the shirt because

478
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: my mom this weekend was died. It was just so weird.

479
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: I feel like, is it live? No, it's not live then,

480
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: so then why wouldn't they change because that's wouldn't her appeal?

481
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,239
Speaker 1: I guess that is an appeal. Yeah, I guess that's

482
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: kind of my appeal. Not I think about it, I

483
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 1: had the same exact appeal as Wendy Williams. I said

484
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,959
Speaker 1: was died, but it was so funny, like if you

485
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: like stroked out. And then I just kept posting the

486
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 1: show under your name forever and I'm just like, no,

487
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: this is every day the Nicki Glazer Podcast with Andrew Yeah,

488
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: I don't even when stay. Yeah, Emil is writing on

489
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 1: the show right now. What it used to say? Anything

490
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: you want me to tell rapport to ask about or

491
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: bring up so fun wash were in studio, Um, what

492
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 1: do you guys think the show? Obviously, well that's what

493
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: maybe you throwing out the first pitch. Yeah, they're gonna

494
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,239
Speaker 1: ask me about that, but I'm trying to think of,

495
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 1: like what's funny about that that I cried afterwards? Yeah,

496
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: we never talked about it. Everybody was looking for the video.

497
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,479
Speaker 1: There's no video of you during the first pitch. How

498
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: did that go? It was terrible? Yeah, it was like

499
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 1: really yeah, because everyone because I was I was better,

500
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: I could have done better, and then um, because I

501
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: had pitched a lot before and it was like way better,

502
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: and then I didn't get to warm up at all.

503
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 1: Those are excuses, but it was just um, and then

504
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: everyone couldn't even say good job afterwards. It was one

505
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: of those things that's just like I'm still got lying.

506
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: You just don't take it in from me. Yeah. Yeah,

507
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: it wasn't that bad. I'm telling you, and I know

508
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 1: it wasn't like terrible, but it just wasn't good. And

509
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: it was like and then one person wrote me and

510
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you could have been on this list

511
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: and it was like the worst people, the worst pitches,

512
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: and I blocked him. I just go by, no, no,

513
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: you don't get to talk to me, like a year. No,

514
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: he writes me, swapped and like he's just someone in St.

515
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: Louis that I was like kind enough to be like, oh,

516
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: I'll let you text me even though you don't really

517
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: you should you shouldn't have my number, and I was

518
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: just being nice and then I just go, you lost

519
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: your privileges? No more text blocked Like I don't, I

520
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: don't insult me. I just can't stand it. People that

521
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: write me and just like think that, just no, you

522
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: don't have a right to be able to reach out

523
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: to me just so you can be an asshole, especially

524
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: your personal number. Yeah, it was just I am done

525
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: saying yes to physical things. Dot. No more. I'm not

526
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: doing anything. I'm not going on celebrity ninja. Whatever the fuck.

527
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: I'm not throwing out first pitches. I mean, did I

528
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: say this yesterday? Um, people don't do first I looked

529
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: for any other celebrities first pitch. The only ones you know,

530
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: no one does it. There's no Jerry Seinfeld first pitch

531
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: is so Dave Chaffel first first pitch. There's you know why,

532
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: because it's embarrassing if you don't do a good job.

533
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: They've definitely been asked. It's not like they haven't. I

534
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: did it because I am brave and I am willing

535
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: to look stupid. Comedians don't like looking stupid unless it's

536
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: on their terms, and that is why it was so

537
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: deeply uncomfortable for me. But that's why comedians don't do

538
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: fucking anything vulnerable where they might look stupid and they're

539
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: not in control. None of them do it, none of them.

540
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to take any fucking uh fly

541
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: ac for being bad at pitching or being bad at

542
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: singing or whatever, because none. No comedians ever do anything

543
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 1: outside of their comfort zone ever. Unless they are in

544
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 1: control of being like I look stupid, then they can

545
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: do it. But if it's out of your control, they

546
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: never do it. Because I really thought about that, I'm like,

547
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: I know Jerry Seinfeld is that he's a Metsky, right,

548
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's probably millions. Never would you do it?

549
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: Never because he would look stupid? And you know what,

550
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: He's right, because it felt awful, Because every fucking guy

551
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: who cares about sports is like, that's their fucking jerk

552
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: off moment of like I wish I could do it,

553
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: and they secretly go, God, if I did it, I

554
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: would be so much better, and then they look at

555
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: you with pity and it just sucks, and I'm never

556
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: doing it again, even though I'm so grateful that I

557
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: got to do it and got asked because it was

558
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: very it was an honor, but it was humiliating and

559
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: I cried a lot afterwards, but I couldn't cry until

560
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: hours and hours after because I had to do so

561
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: many other things in the stadium, like more press interviews.

562
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: So I'm just like holding in these embarrassed tears of like,

563
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: I ate this, I'm embarrassed. I didn't want to do

564
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: it in the first place. I said yes because I

565
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: wanted to be guys and like all of those, don't

566
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: you hate when you need to and you can't like

567
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: a like a baseball player that like like this guy

568
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: named Bill Buckner. I don't know if you know that story,

569
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 1: but like he he he was a first baseman for

570
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: the Red Sox and he like really fucked up. It

571
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: was a routine groundball that he ruined and he missed

572
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: it and for his whole career he batted like two

573
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: eight seven. Yeah, that's no control. In that moment, it

574
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: was totally not in his control. And comedians like people

575
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: that are good like it's like you'll be remembered that forever.

576
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: I just love that that you're like you're on par

577
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: with how much they probably cried from just one pitch.

578
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: One cry maybe needed to cry for me being really

579
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: embarrassed and having people be embarrassed on my behalf is

580
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: It wasn't that I was embarrassed. I don't care that

581
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: I threw a bad pitch, Like why why would I

582
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: threw a good one? Like that doesn't make it that

583
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: would be nonsensical if I did. It was the embarrassment

584
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: on behalf of like my family and like friends and

585
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: everyone just secretly going like I bet I could do

586
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: better than her. Why did she get asked and feeling

587
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: like god just because she's a comedian like man I

588
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: I got man if. I like, just secretly thinking they

589
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 1: deserve it, and I'm like, I agree. I didn't want

590
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: to do this. Sometimes you get asked to do things

591
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: and if you turn them down, you see ungrateful and

592
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: uncool and you just have to do it. Just like

593
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: when I went out and threw T shirts with the

594
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 1: fucking slingshot with all the hot Cardinals girls and I

595
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: couldn't work the sling shot and I looked stupid again

596
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: on top of looking stupid, after the first pitch. It

597
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: was hell. But I I did have a really good

598
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: time doing everything else, doing a comedy bit, doing um

599
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: an interview, doing like in your defense you you went

600
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:08,919
Speaker 1: to sixty ft. Most people throw from like two ft

601
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: away if I could have because from fort you had

602
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 1: a great pitch. It was the sixty feet That's why

603
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: it bounced and killed that Wendy Williams was died. Okay,

604
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: let's get to the new First. I'm in a mood.

605
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 1: Did that yeard it there? First? It's Tuesday, folks. You

606
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: know what that means. It is Tuesday. We're having all

607
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,959
Speaker 1: the swells, you know. Just uh, if you gotta cry,

608
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: you gotta cry. It's all right, that felt good. I'd

609
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: rarely cry, you know what. Also, if you throw out

610
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: a bad pitch, man, I need to cry right now

611
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: so bad. Oh god, I am like throw something at

612
00:34:49,600 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: me that's not gonna make me cry being humiliated. I

613
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 1: don't know that you're too critical of yourself, Dick, But

614
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,879
Speaker 1: you just confirmed it because you secretly thought it too. No,

615
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: I didn't maybe a little. Yeah, anyway, what's the news? Noah?

616
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: All right, Well, here's someone who is probably crying. A

617
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 1: video of a city worker in her underwear getting a

618
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 1: massage in a conference room in front of employees prompts

619
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: an investigation. Wait, why would she do this? The video

620
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: shows the health officer wearing only a bron panties as

621
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: a woman uses a massage device to treat the health

622
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 1: officers shoulders, arms, back, legs, and stomach for cellulite reduction.

623
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: And it was recorded in the in the city Department

624
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: of Health and Human Services in the office, so like

625
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,439
Speaker 1: in front of her employees. Yes, she just hired someone

626
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,479
Speaker 1: I guess to do the treatment in a conference room

627
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: and someone taped it and um, you know, gave it

628
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 1: to like investigators or what ever. That woman I thought

629
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 1: she was doing like a medical procedure and she probably

630
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 1: was like no, but she definitely was unclothed and just

631
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: probably thought like she's she's definitely felt like she was

632
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: the boss that day, like the boss was out or

633
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: something like to have that kind of part of me.

634
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: She probably gets paid to stay at the office, like

635
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: you can't take an hour off, Like there's more to

636
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: it of like why would you stay at the office

637
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: to do this, you know what I mean? Convenience or

638
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 1: just like she probably wanted the money right from not

639
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 1: leaving the office. Maybe well, um, I don't know. She

640
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: she didn't comment. Um Like in the article, they did

641
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: reach out for comments, she didn't say anything. But the

642
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: investigators are looking into, um, if the employees were forced

643
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 1: to sit there, or um, if they raised an issue

644
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: where they retaliated against. But this made me wonder if

645
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: in all your experiences working in all these different places,

646
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 1: have you seen anything egregious happened in an office You

647
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: could talk about office, yeah, like that in a professional

648
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: setting where you go no, I mean, I will say

649
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 1: that in a comedian press professional sending, all bets are

650
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: off like there's tons of nudity. There's like I'm doing

651
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 1: quick changes and stuff like the other day Matt walked

652
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: in and I was, um, uh my tour manager, Matt

653
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 1: walked in when I was changing and the door was

654
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 1: I just I don't care about people seeing me nude.

655
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that, like I have to be

656
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 1: more aware of like other people feeling awkward. But um,

657
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 1: and I didn't mean for him to see me. I

658
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: really didn't. And but then I was just like Matt,

659
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 1: I don't I like looked so like unsexual that I

660
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: was just like, and he was so embarrassed, So I

661
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 1: that felt bad to me. But it wasn't cool though,

662
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: when you're like, I'm not gonna pay you if you

663
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: say anything, yeah, and if you don't, just like give

664
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 1: me a look like you like you're screenshotting this jerk

665
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: offs you later, Yeah, yeah, that wasn't me that you

666
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: will you know, I made a joke. This is a

667
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,399
Speaker 1: ham dra between me and Andrew. But I go, I'm

668
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,879
Speaker 1: not worried about you seeing me a kid because I

669
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: have a spray tan and I know you like at

670
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 1: milky Oh yeah, someone likes yeah milky, milky skin. And

671
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: by the way, if you're using milky to describe a

672
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: woman that you like, stop milky. Oh god. We both

673
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: just were like because it was said in a way

674
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: that he was Sometimes people say things like like it's

675
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: just gonna pass, Like that can't pass. You can't just

676
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: go she had milky skin. I get it. Like I

677
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: felt triggered because as a woman who like covers up

678
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: her white skin, I was like, God, if I had

679
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: milky skin, I wouldn't need to do this, but mine's

680
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 1: like a translucent Yeah, you kind of turn your milkies

681
00:38:51,440 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: into you who kind of yeah orange, Hey, hey, mom,

682
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: you got any more? Who's passing up cola for sunny D?

683
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 1: Wasn't it wasn't that one thing that was in the frigerator.

684
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: When the kids were looking for sunny D, they're like

685
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: soda stuffy. Remember sunny D as a when you get

686
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: a star and an orange juice? That was a big

687
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: orange juice like family. We were good and big into

688
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 1: the pulp tropicana, but sunny D was just this watered

689
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: town tasted like chemicals that aftertaste, I can taste it

690
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,720
Speaker 1: right now, yuck. I never wanted orange juice in cold weather.

691
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 1: Did you ever see anything inappropriate when you worked in offices? Right?

692
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: Just for me? Oh yeah? What about the time that

693
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 1: you were looking at your own body in my green

694
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: room and you took up your shirt while we were

695
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be on set in the control room.

696
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: That wasn't a good moment for anybody. That wasn't. But

697
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: that was that was that was someone broke in to

698
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: seem like no one broke in. We were going to

699
00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: set for the finale episode in My and I at

700
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: this time, we're going to set, so I'm going to

701
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: places we are in our my green room is in

702
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: the house that we are for perfect strangers too, that

703
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: we're shooting it, and so everyone to go from the

704
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: my green room to where Andrew needed to be for

705
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: the shoot, he would have to cross through the shot

706
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: where I am being like where I'm on camera, So

707
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 1: he you need to cross that way before we start taping.

708
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: Andrew is plans because he was like working out and

709
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 1: feeling himself. He's we go to set. This is the

710
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: last episode, is the biggest. Yes, it's important because I

711
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: know that's important. Though no it's not me. I'm telling

712
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: you it's important. So you go to sell and this

713
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: is the last episode. This is all. This is the

714
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: biggest episode. And Andrew, uh, I find out later, stays

715
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: behind just like kind of like lingers behind to stay

716
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: in the green room. It's like I was stealing money

717
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: from you. So he can take off his shirt and

718
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 1: look at his body in the mirror. I never got

719
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 1: that mirror the whole year. You get the mirror because

720
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: I am saw the show. That's like being like, why

721
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 1: don't I get to go on your computer. I'm the boss.

722
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: You you're the that's not your job to be on

723
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 1: the computer. It doesn't make sense that you're like and

724
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: it's like, know what doesn't get Andrew to run to

725
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 1: see my body in the perfect mirror and lighting. Yes,

726
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: so he took his shirt off. He was a writer

727
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:38,839
Speaker 1: on the show everyone, but I was alone. I wasn't

728
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: doing it like for it anyway, and he was got

729
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: to be. Andrew still had a job to do, in fact,

730
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 1: a very important job to do, which is go to

731
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: the control room where he is so he watch me

732
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: do my job and help me when he knows, so

733
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: he stays behind. Not only does he get stuck down

734
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: there because when we start rolling so he can't he

735
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 1: now can't go to the and now we have a

736
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,879
Speaker 1: long shoot where he's not present in the but then

737
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: he gets caught. We would have never known about this,

738
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: by the way, because after the shoot, we're all saying

739
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: goodbye everyone. It's the last day. We're hanging out downstairs

740
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: and the p a, this pa comes up to me

741
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: to say something, having me sign a document or something.

742
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: And Andrew starts like giggling nervously, and it's like he

743
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: saw me, he saw Oh God, Like you're just starking

744
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: so nervous, and then you admit that this p a

745
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: came back downstairs to get my water botty that I

746
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: had left, and he walks into a green room that

747
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: he thinks he is empty, and he sees Andrew shirtless

748
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: should be empty. And I don't even know I'm suht lives,

749
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: but I had a I don't know why. I had

750
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: a feeling I might get caught. So I was ready,

751
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 1: So I had the shirt actually like just over like

752
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: I was. I was like, I wasn't cleo about it

753
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: at all, Like I could have just I'm a guy,

754
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:03,919
Speaker 1: I could be shirtless. Like it's not writer. You are

755
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: a writer. No one would mistake you for talent on

756
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: that show, no offense you are. We know who the

757
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: talent is at that point. There's only like a couple

758
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: of people at that point. No, no, no, only a

759
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: couple of people after that point. Everyone else had God,

760
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: we know who those players are. It wasn't you, there

761
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 1: was There would be no reason for you to be sles.

762
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: I have a question. It was so funny. Oh my god,

763
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,439
Speaker 1: I was so shrieked. Yeah, I could have played it cool.

764
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: I could have played it cool. He regrets. Andrew would

765
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 1: deliver again. I would have been in better shape and

766
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 1: had a better mirror. That would have been cool. I've

767
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: never been caught doing something that out of place because

768
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 1: but you but here's the thing, and I know I'm

769
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 1: just kind of kidderstand what I'm kind of kidding about

770
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: the idea of like you get to look at the

771
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: mirror all the time, but like I don't. I just

772
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 1: was like feeling myself that day and work. Yeah, you

773
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 1: were a writer, that is That's all I get it.

774
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: I get wanting to see yourself you look good, Like

775
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: I get all that you were at work and it

776
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,280
Speaker 1: was the last day. And just don't get investing investigators. Okay,

777
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: don't you think there was probably a team of people

778
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: that like work for like like stockbrokers and they're called

779
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: invest to Gators and there's like an alligator as their symbol. No,

780
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: but that's what I like that. That's could be Florida.

781
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: I'll tell Rusty about that. All right, let's take a

782
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: quick break and come back with news. Yeah, we did

783
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 1: one story. What story do we even do? The massage person?

784
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,919
Speaker 1: Which lendono? Yeah? Can we just get through it so fast? Now?

785
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: We will be back with with why do I Care?

786
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: That's alright, we're back Why do I Care? Uh, well,

787
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 1: it'll be funny to address at the Mega as a

788
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: fashion egg. That's a good idea. I think people dresses

789
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 1: an egg there. Lady gotta get born from an egg

790
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: like in some award show. So why don't we just

791
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: go to redd a dump because we kind of already

792
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: talked about my Why do I care Calory? Is there

793
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: anything about them, like any other story out of it?

794
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: I just wanted to bring up Pete kids skipping the

795
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 1: party go and going to the hotel to have pizza

796
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: and donuts, but I didn't see exact pizza and donuts. No. Yeah,

797
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: they went on a bench and she is feeling like

798
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: ship today. Okay, But I didn't want to be from

799
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: that perspective. I just thought like, oh, it's, you know,

800
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: so nice having a boyfriend to like have to skip

801
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 1: all those parties where everyone has to dress all that there.

802
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: I'm happy for them, and I think they're cute, but like,

803
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: I just that that kind of like diet. That's why

804
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: diets don't work it, y'all, there will the pendulum will

805
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: always swing to the other side. You will always let go.

806
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: Like that's why I'm moderation. You can lose weight and

807
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: be a comfortable weight if you just take it easy

808
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: and don't do anything extreme, because you will always binge

809
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 1: on donnut some pizza with your boyfriend. And I bet

810
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 1: today she's like, I'm getting weight and then she has

811
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: to go on a treadmill for five hours. It's just

812
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: like it never fucking ends. Read it dump. This is

813
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 1: your redit, dumb all right, let's get to reddit, dumb dum.

814
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I just pulled up my Reddit and

815
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: it's like I was googling bunions last night. My feet

816
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: were hurting and so I was like just wanting to

817
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 1: see But do you think I don't know. No, I'm

818
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: just letting you know now. I would never get it,

819
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 1: and I don't want to kiel my bunions. I just

820
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 1: want to hurt them. I'm such I don't know what's

821
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: wrong with me. I have had a lot of people

822
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:59,760
Speaker 1: say that I can come um shadow them for war stuff,

823
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 1: so gross, I know I'm su'll file that fucking bunion down. Um, Okay,

824
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 1: you can't file it. I just want someone to write

825
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 1: my tool off. Okay, So this is from black people Twitter,

826
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 1: which is just like, there's no it's just people on

827
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: Twitter who happened to be black and it has nothing

828
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 1: to do with being black. Really A lot of times,

829
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: so one said, um, this is from kwamie a do

830
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: be re underscore it's a tweet. I don't know how

831
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: how I don't know how do people write consistently with

832
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,280
Speaker 1: the same handwriting. I have like two to three different

833
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: handwritings depending on pen's mood and situation. That's my signature

834
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: is never the same. Oh really that that's is consistent

835
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 1: for me. Mine's all over the place right, like Dave,

836
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 1: it's so bad. I'm just my brain is just bad.

837
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: Like if you if I wrote down myself, I'll do

838
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: it for the for I'll write it five times. You

839
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: ever practice it like you were going to be famous?

840
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: That's a sad part. Yeah, like oh, it's going to

841
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 1: sign a baseball one day that you threw. Do you

842
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: have a favorite plan of pen? Yes? What's your favorite pen?

843
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: I just bought it from Amazon? Um uh, black felt

844
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: tip o. Don't No, I got it from Target. I'll

845
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 1: go get it. How's your signature? Noah, it just looks

846
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: like chicken scratch. Like my handwriting, there's only one kind

847
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 1: of pin where I have clean handwriting. I think, I

848
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: guess whoever has a perfect penmanship on their own name

849
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 1: practiced a lot for thinking they'd be somebody. I used

850
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: to practice mine all the time. When I get asked

851
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: to sign like stacks of posters sometimes at clubs, I'm

852
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: always They're always go, so sorry, and I go, this

853
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: is my dream. Yeah, this is my fucking dream. The

854
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: signature used to mean so much more back in the day,

855
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: like even just ten years ago. This is papermatee flair

856
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 1: felt tip the Oh that's a good pen It's so good.

857
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: And I like writing. I like journaling with these I

858
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,040
Speaker 1: do yeah in my journals, though I write in a

859
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,439
Speaker 1: way that you can't really read it. Only I could

860
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: read it maybe like some like you know, handwriting it

861
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: out like no, it's not it's not, is um that?

862
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: But I also got oh my god, corn removers, but

863
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: I don't need to because I did surgery on my

864
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: corn last night in the middle of the night. Is

865
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: your handwriting for when it's nice it's just for someone else,

866
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: But for yourself you don't care. No, my handwriting actually

867
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: looks nicer when it's for myself. But you said no

868
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 1: one can read it. Well, it's like a version of

869
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: my nicest handwriting that I can't read like it's very

870
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 1: like small and very low to the ground. Handwriting is

871
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 1: so much more personal than penmanship. It's not great. It

872
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: always looks it looks like kind of juvenile. Well I'm

873
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: a lefty, so everything's at an angle. You know that

874
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: they didn't build paper for us. I love writing. I

875
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 1: love watching people write things though, Like that is a

876
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: very soothing thing. The sound of chalk, the sound of

877
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,359
Speaker 1: um I've talked about before. A clipboard with like a

878
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: freshly sharpened pencil on a board with a thin piece

879
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: of paper, that is so But the worst is a

880
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: dull pencil with it or the lead. It's like almost

881
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: scratching it the lead and like it's and the metal

882
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 1: is sharp like a little bit. Now we don't even

883
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 1: want to go there. Okay. This is from the sub

884
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,959
Speaker 1: breddit to me in real life, for me in real life.

885
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 1: Um it says it's a meme that says my therapist

886
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 1: excessive sleeping is a sign of depression. Me. Can't mistake

887
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 1: e if not awakey's cute anything in a rhyme. Um.

888
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: Then there was this tweet from thanks I hate it

889
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: t T I h I. This is just things that

890
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 1: people are like, Oh God, that makes me think about

891
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 1: things in a different way. I hate it. You know.

892
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: This is a tweet from Melvin of York. It's funny

893
00:50:57,920 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: how we say a bug hit my windshield when we

894
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: are the ones going seventy miles per hour. I'll but

895
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: the bugs family described it differently. It's a nice little

896
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: perspective there. I saw that on your Instagram. That was good,

897
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 1: so fun. Oh yeah, yeah, it's the bugs fault. Yeah.

898
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard animal or dear? But yeah, Well

899
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,720
Speaker 1: I was going to say, um, last spring, like almost

900
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: like around this time of year in Tucson, it was

901
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: my first time here, and all these beautiful butterflies started appearing,

902
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: these beautiful yellow butterflies, and I was driving on the

903
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: road just like admiring. It was just like just like

904
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 1: a cascade of them, a bunch. And then I realized

905
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: that I was just plowing through them with my car,

906
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,959
Speaker 1: and like, this beautiful story just became so morbid. Yes,

907
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 1: I love hearing the same. Plowing through like sounds so aggressive.

908
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:58,360
Speaker 1: I plowed through like nine butterflies, Like it's such a

909
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: light animal to plow through. It's hard to like the

910
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: butterfly dude, I get scared of that. Like sometimes a

911
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 1: deer one end up, you know what I mean? Breaking

912
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: in happens all the time, like especially out in the

913
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: Hampton's when not to brag, you know, my brother hass

914
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 1: like stabbing through and then like that's how people die

915
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 1: like that. Know, Um, you're supposed to not hit your brakes.

916
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: You're supposed to speed up. Isn't that crazy? You know why? Um? No,

917
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: because when you hit your brakes, your car gets lower,

918
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: so then it could get on the windshield easier and

919
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 1: then end up in the windshield. Oh my god. I

920
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,320
Speaker 1: used to be so scared of my parents hitting deers,

921
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: like obsessed with it that I bought I went to

922
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 1: restoration Hardware because they were selling As a kid, they

923
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 1: were selling these little horns that you put on your

924
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 1: car and when the wind blows through them, they make

925
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: the sound that make deer go like no, like it's

926
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 1: a place fergy. Oh I thought you meant like I

927
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: was envisioning you putting deer horns like yours, like a

928
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: sound like that when the wind whistles through this, like

929
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 1: whistle on your car, the deer go like no, no, no no,

930
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,879
Speaker 1: they don't like it. In you. Um. This is from

931
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 1: suspiciously specific. This is when like something is just like wow,

932
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,760
Speaker 1: you you seem to be saying something that is for everyone,

933
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,880
Speaker 1: but this is this one really made me laugh. Genie. Okay,

934
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 1: so it's from a guy named um Chump string on

935
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 1: or on Twitter. Um, it's a conversation between a genie

936
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 1: and a person. Genie, you have three wishes. This guy says,

937
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: make make fireman ugly. The genie says, you got it.

938
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 1: Then he says, instead of sliding down a pole, make

939
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 1: them climb out of a well. The genie says okay.

940
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 1: He says, take the big ladder off their truck, and

941
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: then the genie goes, dude, what's your problem. It's like

942
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: a fireman his wife. So funny. Okay, if you had

943
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 1: three wishes from final thought, three wishes from a genie

944
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:03,759
Speaker 1: go that everyone went vegan and that um animals were

945
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:11,879
Speaker 1: not hurt anymore. It's pleasure. That's number one. That's too

946
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: sorry for that, so so not everyone would be get that.

947
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: My number one, my number one, that no one would

948
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: harm animals for pleasure, for any kind of pleasure. UM

949
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: Number two would be that everyone was capable of empathy

950
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 1: right away like you don't have to learn it, you're

951
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: born with it. And number three would be for the

952
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: planet to uh be rid of plastic or the ability

953
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 1: to make plastic. So nothing personal? Do three that have

954
00:54:54,920 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 1: to be personal? Um, I don't want anything. I'm not

955
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 1: kidding you. Um. For me to be the same size,

956
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,840
Speaker 1: no matter, for me to have no issues with my

957
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 1: body or food ever again like no thoughts of that. Um.

958
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: Number two get to the Megala next year, yes, um

959
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: uh God to be able to to have to have

960
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 1: the time and energy to to learn guitar and be

961
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: really good at it. I wouldn't want to just like

962
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 1: be good at guitar, because then it's like you didn't

963
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 1: earn it. So everything to limitless, like everything's expedited, but

964
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: you still have to do to work. Yes, no, no, no,

965
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 1: it's just like I have the motiv I'm given the motivation,

966
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: because then that's not it doesn't seem as like I

967
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 1: just got it still to put in the work. Yes no,

968
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 1: but but expedite like yes, so you can learn guitar

969
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 1: the same song. And for me to not lose my

970
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 1: voice anymore? What about you? I have I have one

971
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: for Nikki. Can I suggest a wish for you. Yes,

972
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 1: remember how earlier you were saying that you didn't care

973
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 1: about throwing the pitch poorly and you weren't embarrassed of that.

974
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 1: You were you were upset because of the embarrassment that

975
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 1: others felt because of that. And yes, the wish should

976
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: be to let go of that, because that comes up

977
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: often and a lot of of our conversations where people

978
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 1: what people think of you. So I was thinking to

979
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,399
Speaker 1: do that, Noah, but then I will not be Then

980
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 1: I would do nothing all day with my time, you know,

981
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 1: like my I need some of that. I guess I

982
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: would lose it maybe, but it does keep me. I

983
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 1: just don't think I would do anything if I didn't

984
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: care what people that was gone? Do you think something

985
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: else could motivate you know what I mean? Like would you?

986
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 1: I mean probably, I'd probably be a happier person, but

987
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't imagine what that would look

988
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: like right now, So I don't want to sign up

989
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: for it, if that makes sense. Wish What about Oh,

990
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 1: maybe being able to speak a different language would be cool?

991
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: That would be dope. I just think that because I

992
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,840
Speaker 1: don't wouldn't have so much pride of like I learned this,

993
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 1: I would just be like, Oh, I could communicate with people.

994
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: What about you um fly private forever all the time? Yeah, yes,

995
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: whether it's with my own arms or yes, that would

996
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: be pretty dope. I love the idea, Like I want

997
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 1: to be able to fly just in't like private plane

998
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: like yeah private, Like, oh, you could have to be rich. No,

999
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 1: I don't have to be rich. I just want to

1000
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: fly because if you're flying yourself two gigs like you

1001
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 1: like are soaring through the air, like you don't get

1002
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: like to lay down. You don't get to like like

1003
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 1: be like in the lap of luxury. You have to

1004
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: like bat your wings and stuff. It's exhausting. It would

1005
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 1: be so annoying to be Superman and have like you

1006
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 1: never wear goggles. Yeah, you don't get uh little pretzels.

1007
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 1: That's true when you're flying yourself. When you're flying yourself,

1008
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 1: Come again, is there turbo? Wasn't that word that words

1009
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 1: shaky um? Smaller nipples would be cool. Easily do that

1010
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: with a surgery that probably would cost you three thousand dollars.

1011
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: But like your Bunyan's, I think I love the pain

1012
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 1: that it gives the other people down If there's a

1013
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 1: way I can look down and see my penis without

1014
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,440
Speaker 1: my nipples kind of never look down and see your nipples.

1015
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: You keep your shirt on during sex. We know that

1016
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: I'll take my shirt off. I mean if I'm standing up,

1017
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 1: but it's sometimes if I'm on top, like it's weird.

1018
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 1: My body changes a lot depending on how it's, how

1019
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 1: the hour and how it's like lame. Yes, it's like

1020
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: Plato in that way, like Plato could be really hard

1021
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 1: and then also droopy if it's if it's pulled right.

1022
00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:59,479
Speaker 1: You know what planet you're on in the gravity bowl.

1023
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, like if you pull

1024
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 1: a Plato, Plato is hard and then you pull it

1025
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 1: and starts to starts to hang. You know, no melty

1026
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: playto plays consistently. I feel like if it gets if

1027
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 1: it gets real skinny. Ok. So my stomach right can

1028
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,320
Speaker 1: look kind of hard when I'm standing, but then if

1029
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: i'm it can hang and then it just anyhow. If

1030
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 1: I'm on my side and Brenda cuddles me and grabs

1031
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 1: my stomach, I really it's it makes me sad because

1032
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 1: I don't I don't feel like it's sexy for like

1033
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 1: it feels. Maybe that's another thing she wish just on

1034
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 1: my side. Yeah, you know what's one wish? Oh that's

1035
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 1: a Steve Bart but oh it is Oh my god,

1036
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: that's classic bet so fun personal want all children to

1037
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 1: join hands and sing in peace and harmony. Actually, let's

1038
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: push that one now. I really would like a nineteen

1039
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 1: seventy two, you know, like and then for all the

1040
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 1: children to join hands, and it's like Christmas wish. It

1041
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: was christ Special came back in the news randomly and

1042
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 1: people like attacking them because they said his stuff was

1043
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 1: like edgy, like what inflating the banjo in it? Anyways,

1044
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: go ahead, no, all right, real quick, um, I think

1045
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: it would be to have a mirror like Nikki Head

1046
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 1: in the green room that Andrew looks, ye look at

1047
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: was that? Yeah, there's some We had a skinny mirror

1048
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 1: to this this uh last weekend in one of the

1049
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 1: places we were, I think it was Madison and man

1050
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: I liked that mirror. And then there was on the

1051
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,479
Speaker 1: other side of the room that was like the truth, dude.

1052
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,800
Speaker 1: The first thing if I, if I became CEO of

1053
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: the Gap or anything, put skinny mirrors in your everywhere

1054
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 1: so stupid. So be called out for it. It's almost

1055
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,000
Speaker 1: like the Abercambie sizing. Have you watched the new Abercrombie

1056
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 1: documentary A good no, it's not. I had to turn

1057
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,960
Speaker 1: it off immediately. Don't watch it. All right, guys, that's

1058
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 1: it for us. We will be back tomorrow. Don't beca aunt.

1059
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: Jack from Will and Grace. Jason from that movie Jason