1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight, we got it for you. 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 1: It is the straw Mary Letter. Okay, subject, maybe I 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: should hang out with my ex too, Dear Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: I married, my wife and I have a five year 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: old daughter. I'm married and my wife and I have 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: a five year old daughter. My wife's relationship with her 7 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend is not normal, and I seem to be 8 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: the only one that has a problem with it. Over 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: the weekend, my wife took our child to a birthday 10 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: party at her ex boyfriend's home. Her ex boyfriend and 11 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: his wife invited my wife and my daughter and they went. 12 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 1: This bothered me because I've spoken with my wife a 13 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: few times about her close relationship with her ex. She 14 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: doesn't see it as a problem because the guy is 15 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: married and has his own family. It doesn't help that 16 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: the ex is the cousin of her best friend, so 17 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: they are always hanging out together. I'm not insecure, and 18 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: I don't believe she's attracted to him, but I never 19 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: trust the man in this situation. I don't know why 20 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: she has to talk to them at all. I could 21 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: see if they shared a child together or they had 22 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: business ties, but they don't. I find it to be 23 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: very disrespectful, and ladies, you know, if the shoe was 24 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: on the other foot, you would lose your mind. We've 25 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: been married for five years and this is the only 26 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: problem we've had so far. Whenever I bring it up, 27 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: it creates a lot of tension and she tells me 28 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 1: that I'm overreacting and I need to learn to deal 29 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: with it. She would not be able to deal with 30 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: it if I went a happy hour with my X 31 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: a few times a month, with my X a few 32 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: times a month. So how should I handle this? I 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: want to speak with the man, but I really don't 34 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: want to look insecure or soft. Am I putting too 35 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: much weight on this? I say absolutely not, because how 36 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: you feel about the situation is how you feel about 37 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: the situation, and they're valid. And this is a problem 38 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: because you're right, if the shoe was on the other foot, 39 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: meaning ladies, if he kept a close, relate relationship with 40 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: his X, this would be a disaster, it would You're 41 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: absolutely right about that. I think your wife should consider 42 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: your feelings in this situation. I think you know when 43 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: you're this close it can bring problems. You could you know, 44 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: you never know what can happen. When you're this close 45 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: in a relationship, and if it bothers you, why isn't 46 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: your marriage more important than her relationship with this X. 47 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: I don't get it. I think you're right. You know, 48 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 1: if you start and you know how men are. You 49 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: said it. You don't trust the man in this relationship, 50 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: so you do trust your wife, so you know. I 51 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: don't suggest necessarily that you go out with your X, 52 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: because that can create a whole another set of problems 53 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: in your marriage. I just think you should just try 54 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: and deal with your wife really, let her know what 55 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: it looks like, how you feel, what's what's going to happen, 56 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: how what could happen, and then deal with it that 57 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,799 Speaker 1: way and maybe she'll come around. Steve, not a season 58 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,119 Speaker 1: for me right here. Pardon the first of all, let's 59 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: just get this out the way. Your wife's relationship with 60 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: her ex boyfriend, it's not normal. You said that, and 61 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: you seem to be the only problem with it. And 62 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 1: over the weekend, your wife took your child to a 63 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: birthday party at her ex boyfriend's home. Now, her ex 64 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: boyfriend and his current wife invited my wife and my 65 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: daughter and they went. They ain't invite you, They can't 66 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: invite you. They invited her and the baby, and then 67 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: she went. This bothered me because I've spoken with my 68 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: wife a few times by the closeness with her ex. 69 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: She don't see it as a problem because this guy married, 70 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: got his own family. What is she still dealing with him? Fault? 71 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: This your ex boyfriend? Y'all, ain't got no child together. 72 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: Ain't like it was they child? This your child? Why 73 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: is she all up in this dude's face on any 74 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: damn level? And they always hanging out together? What all right, Steve, 75 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: hold that, hold that all that you have right there, 76 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: Hold all of that we're gonna get. I don't understand 77 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: this letter. I really really don't from the hunt because yeah, 78 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: this don't even have to be a problem. This man 79 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: has a wife and a baby with this five year 80 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: old daughter with this woman, she a relationship with her 81 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend is a problem. They're married now, her and 82 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: her ex boyfriend still have relationship, and over the weekend, 83 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: his wife took their child to a birthday party at 84 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 1: the ex boyfriend's house. Her ex boyfriend is now married, 85 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: and they invited my wife and my daughter and they went. 86 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: They didn't invite you, partner, see, I'm worried about this 87 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: part right here. Why ain't get the invitation? You want? 88 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: Everybody married? Well, this bothered me because he spoken to 89 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: his wife a few times. By the closeness to her ex. 90 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 1: She don't see it as a problem because the guy's 91 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: married and got his own family. Well what you over 92 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: that photo? Why you still got to have a relationship 93 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: with him? I know y'all slept together. It don't ever 94 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: leave a dude's mind. She doesn't see it as a 95 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: problem because he's mad, So they're always hanging out together too. Now, 96 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 1: I'm not insecure, and I don't believe she's attracted hill Man, stop, 97 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: man stop. You are insecure. That's what this whole damn 98 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: letter is about. You are insecure. Ain't nothing wrong with 99 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: that partner, But you can put a stop to this, hiroo. 100 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: And I don't believe she's attracted to him. She was, Okay, 101 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: she was, and he was attracted to her. Now, if 102 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: he was attracted to her, I can tell you right 103 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: now he still is because he or man and you 104 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: refer to that end the letter. You say, and I 105 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: don't believe she's attracted him, But I never trust a 106 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: man in this situation because you know get in here. Well, 107 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: once we was attracted to you, where that goal? What 108 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 1: you do with that? Because you got married. Man told me, 109 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: when you get married, the only difference of the next 110 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: day after you get married, it's the peers of your 111 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: left hand. Third day. Everything you like before you got married, 112 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: you're gonna like the same damn thing the day after 113 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: you marry. So now he liked her once, he liked her. 114 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: Now you can't tell me she don't walk in there 115 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: and this dude, they said it. Man, I've slept with 116 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: both of these. Oh, you can't tell me that. That's 117 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: a crazy situation. And she said, I don't know why 118 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: she talked to him at all, because you let her. 119 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: I could see if they shared a child together or 120 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: they had business ties, but they don't. I find it 121 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: very disrespectful. And here's the kicker, and ladies, you know 122 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: if the shoe was on the other foot that you 123 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: would lose your rabbit. Mind. You already know that married 124 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: for five years and this is the only problem we've 125 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 1: had now whenever I bring it up and created a 126 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: lot of tension, and she tells me, I'm overreacting and 127 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 1: I need to learn how to deal with it, even 128 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: to learn how to deal with a damn thing. What 129 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: I promise your sister, I'm not fitting to learn how 130 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: to deal with a damn thing. Who are you talking to? 131 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: I got? Take, I got? I'm overreacting and the screening 132 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 1: tension in our marriage because you keep bringing your ex 133 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: in the our home. O man, pardon, let me explain something. 134 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: You if you went to your happy hour with your 135 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: ex wife a few times a month, she'd have a 136 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: heart time. Yes, So how should I handle this? I 137 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: want to speak to the man. First of all, don't 138 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: say nothing to that man. Please. Your man didn't take 139 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: the vials. Your wife did to leave all others and 140 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: cleave only unto you. But she want to hang on. Look, 141 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: you know what I'll tell my wife dog, she was 142 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: playing something like this from me. Take your hands down 143 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: there one more time, and when you come home, see 144 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: if he'll make all these payments up in here at 145 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: the house. You know you know what. Let's let's let's 146 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: see if he gonna pay for all these damn vacation 147 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: call him close down there and in receipts and stuff. 148 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: See if he went in the chippy on this right here? 149 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: Take all these bills down there, and see what's one 150 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: of these he gonna pay, because he's gonna have to 151 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: pay all of them. Because I'm through. You're not gonna 152 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: disrespect me with your ex and expect me to sit 153 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: here and take it because you want me to be 154 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:22,119 Speaker 1: all right with it. Whether the hell I ain't sitting 155 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: up in here talking to me like I'm crazy. I 156 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: got to learn how to deal with I'm not dealing 157 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,679 Speaker 1: with a damn thing. I'm not dealing with your ex 158 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: in my life. I'm not dealing with my wife's sitting 159 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: up in happy hour with no other man. You want 160 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: to go to happy hour with him, call your ass 161 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: down there, but you will not do it as my wife, 162 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: no more than I can go do it as your husband. Man, 163 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: I can't go in here and tell it's crazy woman. 164 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: I'm married, tough in to go to happy hour a 165 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: few times a month with some ex. I got what 166 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: you got to be kiding me, And for all y'all 167 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: out there, I'm a woman out to be able to 168 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: have friends. You can have all the friends, won't You 169 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: just can't have all them friends and a husband. See, 170 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: you're gonna get all the damn buddies. You want a 171 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: matter of fact, you ain't gotta miss no more happy hour. 172 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: You ain't gotta miss nade a matter of fact, you 173 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: up it jealous much. A few times a month you 174 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: can call your ass down that day, the happy hour, 175 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: every day, happy the whole damn hour. I don't know 176 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: what you're gonna do about the mother twenty three, So 177 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: enjoy yourself at that damn happy hour. I wish you 178 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: would be sitting up here talking to Steve Harvey that 179 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna do this here. I'm gonna love. I'm not 180 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: dealing with a damn thing. And that stopped today. Now 181 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 1: call this podcast one more time, call his podcast one 182 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: more time, sitting up here talking about you. Where you're 183 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: gonna be X? I leave in a Harby I got 184 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 1: two x Y You think I won't really see? Well? 185 00:09:54,160 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: He all right, listen, we gotta get out of here. 186 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 1: You can email us our Instagram us your thoughts on 187 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM, or you can 188 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening 189 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 1: to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.