1 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: Congratulations, You've been accepted into the inaugural class of Therapy 2 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: for Black Girls University. Whether packing for a new year 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 1: on campus, thinking through your gap year and rolling in 4 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: a community college, or grabbing your souls for graduation, tbgu 5 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: is here to help you thrive at this stage of 6 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 1: your life and beyond. 7 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: Hi. I'm sorrya Taylor, and I'm the TBG podcast production intern. 8 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 2: We'll return to Jana right after the break. 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 3: Why do friendship breakups sometimes hurt more than romantic ones? 10 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 3: How do I make friends in a new city? Is 11 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 3: it true that women can't actually be good friends to 12 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 3: one another? I'm exploring all of these questions and so 13 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 3: much more in my book, Sisterhood Heels, now available in 14 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 3: paperback at your local independent bookstore or at sisterhood Heels 15 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 3: dot com. Grab a copy for you and your girls, 16 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 3: and let's talk about it. 17 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: College, an experience already notorious for its difficulty, can be 18 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: a lot harder to navigate if you're also dealing with 19 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: a medical disorder or a learning disability. These experiences are 20 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: covered under the term neurodivergent, and today we're shining light 21 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: on what it looks like to pursue an education as 22 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: a neurodivergent. Person joining me today to talk about their 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: experience as a neurodivergent college student is Chicago based creative 24 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: Kai Foster. Kai has humorously documented the ups and downs 25 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: of young adulthood via sit down chats, blogs, and poetry 26 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: since twenty seventeen. Beyond the Camera, Kai attends film school 27 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: and pursues independent documentary projects. In our conversation today, we 28 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: discuss what it means to be near divergent, the importance 29 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: of on campus accommodations, and how to advocate for your 30 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: needs when a professor is reluctant to understanding them. Here's 31 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: our conversation. Hi, Ki, how are you? 32 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 4: I'm doing pretty good. How are you doing? 33 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm doing so well. I'm so excited to talk with 34 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: you today. 35 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having me. Very excited to be here. 36 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: Of course, of course, so, I, like many of us, 37 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: have followed your journey from your high school content, being 38 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: a student at Howard University, and moving back to your 39 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: hometown in Chicago. I'm curious how has being so transparent 40 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: online for the large parts of your life impacted you. 41 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 4: Well, it's definitely impacted me in positive and negative ways. 42 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 4: I think that just looking back on my journey, I'm 43 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 4: always grateful to have helped out other people, especially in 44 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 4: the realm of mental health. I feel like, especially within 45 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 4: black families, we don't talk about that stuff. My so 46 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 4: very grateful to have been able to share those parts 47 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 4: of myself to a wider audience. But I guess like 48 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 4: on the more negative side of things, I think that 49 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 4: now I'm prioritizing like living life for me a little 50 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 4: bit more. It doesn't sound like that crazy, but I 51 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 4: guess having broadcasted so many my milestones and moments, it 52 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,839 Speaker 4: is nice kind of realing it back a little bit 53 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 4: and just focusing on what really appeals to me without 54 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 4: having to really, I guess consider so many opinions and 55 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 4: thoughts about what my next move is going to be, 56 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 4: or like how I should do something. 57 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: And I can only imagine like being in your twenties 58 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: and navigating that as well as being online and like 59 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: showing your life is like completely vulnerable and like almost 60 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: too vulnerable at times. 61 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, I totally agree, because I was really doing it 62 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 4: heavily from like seventeen to twenty two, and that right there, 63 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,119 Speaker 4: I feel like that's multiple lifetimes that are going on. 64 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 4: So yeah, definitely was a lot, definitely very vulnerable. And yeah, 65 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 4: as I've gotten older, I think that my perspective has 66 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 4: of course changed, and I just value a little bit 67 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 4: more privacy. But like I said, I'm not ashamed of it, 68 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 4: and I'm really grateful to have been able to do 69 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 4: something like that. 70 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: I love it. So take us back to the moment 71 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: when you first found out you were autistic. What were 72 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: some of the first feelings you went through? 73 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 4: Okay, so there's been a few moments. Honestly, I remember 74 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 4: somebody they either sent me a DM or they commented 75 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,720 Speaker 4: on a video that they think that I might be autistic. 76 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 4: And I was living in Atlanta at the time. I 77 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 4: was honestly like a little bit caught off guard because 78 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 4: I think that my idea of it it just did 79 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 4: not match up to what like it actually is. And 80 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 4: the term autism, I feel like, even today, it still 81 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 4: has a negative connotation, and I think that I kind 82 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 4: of I've had that thought process at the time, and 83 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 4: so I just kind of let that comment go because 84 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, just another person trying to tell me 85 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 4: who they think that I am on the internet. And 86 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 4: then I did some more research into being like nerdivergent 87 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 4: because there's so much underneath that umbrella. And I think 88 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 4: the book that I was reading was called Divergent Mind. 89 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 4: In the autistic section, I like highlighted everything. Still didn't 90 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 4: think I was autisting because I was like, no, that 91 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 4: just that can't be the truth. And so that was 92 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 4: the second time that it was brought to my attention. 93 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 4: But the third time was I think back in the 94 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 4: summer of twenty twenty two, when everything clicked. It started 95 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 4: to pick up, and I guess like traction popularity on 96 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 4: TikTok as well, and just social media in general, and 97 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 4: just like learning more and coming to terms with the 98 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 4: fact that I was autistic. I would say it took 99 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 4: me like a couple of years or maybe like a 100 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 4: year and a half before I was able to finally 101 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 4: like sit with that and to grief. And I think 102 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 4: that that's what it was for like a majority of 103 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 4: that discovery process with a lot of grieving about what 104 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 4: my life could have been, like what kind of support 105 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 4: I could have had growing up, why certain relationships didn't 106 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 4: work out, why school was actually really hard for me 107 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 4: once I got to college, and so definitely like very sad, 108 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 4: but at the other end of it, I think that 109 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 4: I was just really grateful to finally have an explanation 110 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 4: as to why I operated a little bit more differently, 111 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 4: and I was able to let go of a lot 112 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 4: of shame that I had pent up over the years 113 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 4: because I wasn't able to do things at the same 114 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 4: pace or at the same rate as my peers. 115 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 1: I think it's really interesting that you brought up the 116 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: comment that person left on your video because it literally 117 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: reinforces the fact of like how negative our community has 118 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: made being on the spectrum is like it's an insult 119 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: when it's that's an experience that people live through and 120 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: navigate every day, and that we've made that term an 121 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: insulting phrase. That's super interesting to me that that's like 122 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,559 Speaker 1: where we've taken the word. 123 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 4: I feel like the way the media portrays autistic people 124 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 4: is not great whatsoever. And yeah, I think, like I 125 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 4: said earlier, within black communities, like being any kind of 126 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 4: different is just bad. So I think that that's also 127 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,239 Speaker 4: where that came from. 128 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: For sure, For our listeners who are unfamiliar with the 129 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 1: experiences of someone with autism, can you give us a 130 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: rundown of your specific experience and some of the general 131 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: symptoms you know of. 132 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 4: I would say that being autistic for me or for 133 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 4: a lot of people, is just like a heightened sensitivity 134 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 4: to your environment on an emotional and on a physical level. 135 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 4: While I was pretty good in school with my grades 136 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 4: and stuff, when it came into like basic tasks, which 137 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 4: is like feeding myself or having to do things that 138 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 4: take a lot of steps, there's literally so much underneath 139 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 4: the umbrella. I think one facet of it is being 140 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 4: a bottom up thinker versus being a top down thinker, 141 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 4: meaning that it takes you a little bit longer to 142 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 4: process things because you're having to take in all of 143 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 4: the details of something before jumping to conclusions, whereas a 144 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 4: lot of neurotypical people or realistic people are more so 145 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 4: top down thinkers. They can kind of gather a big idea, 146 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 4: a big picture of something, and then they can get 147 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 4: down to the details. And I think that autism and 148 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 4: ADHD they both count as learning disabilities, and so it's 149 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 4: not necessarily that you're always quote unquote not intelligent or 150 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 4: slower or this that, and the third. It's more so like, oh, 151 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 4: I just don't learn in the way that a lot 152 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 4: of like major institutions and schools teach, and so I 153 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 4: think a lot of it just comes down to different 154 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 4: ways of processing and just different ways of responding to 155 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 4: your environment. Stemming is a really big thing within the 156 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 4: autistic community, just like getting out all of that external 157 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 4: extra energy, because I think that I'm worned down more 158 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 4: quickly by my environment because my brain is trying to 159 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 4: I think my brain is just like easily distracted, I 160 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 4: would say, by my external environment, and so I think 161 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 4: that it takes me a lot longer to recover from 162 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 4: social scenarios or just exerting energy in general. I think 163 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 4: for me, it definitely affects me a lot more on 164 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 4: like a physical level, but it differs for everybody. 165 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: Honestly, thank you for breaking that down for us. I'm wondering, 166 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: like how have conditions such as ADHD, depression or OCD 167 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: impacted their daily experiences and routines. 168 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 4: So, when it comes down to autism specifically, I would 169 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 4: say that like when I'm not able to receive accommodations 170 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 4: for that, that can become the depression or that can 171 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 4: worsen the OTD. So I feel like as long as 172 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 4: I'm able to work on what I need within that area, 173 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 4: then I'm able to like kind of flow a bit 174 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 4: more easily. But for me, I think that having autism 175 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 4: in ADHD is pretty much like needing routine but needing 176 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 4: flexibility and like having to find that fine line, which 177 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 4: can be like very difficult in and of itself. I 178 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 4: would say a calendar like really helps me just not 179 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 4: have meltdowns and things of that nature, because I think 180 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 4: that for me, things definitely need to be planned out 181 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 4: way ahead of time. I really do not respond well 182 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 4: to too many changes in my routine or just like 183 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 4: my day to day, I definitely feel like I can 184 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 4: only do like one or two big things a day, 185 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,440 Speaker 4: like after that, I'm pretty much out for the count. 186 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 4: It definitely affects my social life, like I feel like 187 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 4: I am not as social as I would like to be. 188 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 4: But because cooking and going to school and working just 189 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 4: take so much out of me, I'm not really able 190 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 4: to put the energy into things such as that. I 191 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 4: feel like a lot of things such as even taking 192 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 4: care of myself and like hanging out with friends, they 193 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 4: feel a lot more like privileges than anything else, and 194 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 4: so I feel like I'm always trying to just do 195 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 4: the bare minimum. It feels like just to get by. 196 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 4: I think that a lot of the time, it just 197 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 4: feels like this constant state of surviving and like having 198 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 4: to adjust to my environment, especially like when I'm at school. 199 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 4: I have to keep things very simple so that I'm 200 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 4: not overwhelmed, because I'm very easily overwhelmed by a lot 201 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 4: of things. 202 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: Thank you for walking me through that. So tell me, 203 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: what do you think the general public gets wrong in 204 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: their representation conception of neurodiversent people. 205 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 4: Well, I think the first thing that they get wrong 206 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 4: is thinking that being neurodivergent means that's just like autism 207 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 4: in ADHD, because being a divergent, like you could be 208 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 4: a narcissist, you could have OCD, you could have VPD. 209 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 4: There's so many things within the neurodivergent umbrella. I hear 210 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 4: a lot of the time that people describe neudivergent people 211 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 4: as lazy, and I think that is actually just us 212 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 4: responding to a system that's not designed or built for us. 213 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 4: A lot of people think that like TikTok is to 214 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 4: blame for the uptick in people coming out as having autism, ADHD, OCD, 215 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,560 Speaker 4: et cetera. But I think that TikTok and other social 216 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 4: media platforms have really just made information about it more 217 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 4: accessible because I feel like a lot of information when 218 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 4: it comes to mental health is very much so gay kept. 219 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 4: The mental health field is very classies in and of 220 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 4: itself because it costs so much to get a diagnosis, 221 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 4: so much to see a doctor, and so while yeah, 222 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 4: like you can't diagnose yourself off of one or two tiktoks, 223 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, I think that it is 224 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 4: a really, really really helpful tool if you don't have 225 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 4: that instant access to mental health professionals, because even then 226 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 4: a lot of mental health professionals don't know what they're doing, 227 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 4: and so there's no guarantees even if you do have 228 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 4: the money to go see you on HI. 229 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Taylor, and I'm the TPG podcast production intern. 230 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 2: We'll return to Jana right after the break. 231 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 3: This July, Therapy for Black Girls is bringing our yearly 232 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 3: Minority Mental Health Month celebration in person to Atlanta, Georgia. 233 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,559 Speaker 3: Join us Thursday July eighteenth and Friday July nineteenth as 234 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,439 Speaker 3: we shine a light on mental health professionals and all 235 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 3: those who dedicated their careers to holding space for others. 236 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:47,079 Speaker 3: Our inaugural Holding Space for Healers Therapists Summit will gather 237 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 3: some of our favorite voices in the field for workshops, seminars, 238 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 3: and opportunities to connect. You don't want to miss this, 239 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,079 Speaker 3: so secure your ticket to wellness by visiting Therapy for 240 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 3: Blackgirls dot com slash Healers. 241 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:07,719 Speaker 1: So you brought up earlier about not putting energy into socializing, 242 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: I'm wondering how has autism shown up in your relationships 243 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: with your friends. Was there ever a time when you 244 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 1: felt like you needed to set boundaries or advocate for 245 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: your needs? If so, how did you navigate these situations. 246 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a tricky one because I feel like when 247 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 4: it comes to friendships that has changed so much over 248 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 4: the years. I would say like within the past few years, 249 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 4: all of my friends have pretty much been r the 250 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 4: vision either ADHD or autistic. My little friend group right 251 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 4: now they're both autistic, and so I feel like a 252 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 4: lot of things don't necessarily need to be explained if 253 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 4: we ever just co ghost for a few days or whatnot, 254 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 4: like it's completely understood that we're probably just going through it. 255 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean I think that also when it 256 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 4: comes down to having autistic friends. There's a lot less 257 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 4: judgment when and we do need extra support when it 258 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 4: comes down to doing things that people might consider simple. 259 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 4: And so it's really nice to like not have that 260 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 4: shame or fear or embarrassment of asking for help when 261 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 4: it comes to such things as like meal prep or 262 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 4: just getting out of bed and needing to take a walk. 263 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 4: Like my friends have been body doubles a lot of 264 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 4: the time when I can't get my work accomplished, and 265 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 4: we're very big on like, hey, you don't have the energy, 266 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 4: Let's just do a virtual hangout. We do not need 267 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 4: to meet up in person. It's all good. And so 268 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 4: I would say, like, right now, I don't really have 269 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 4: to do so much. I don't have to set too 270 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 4: many boundaries because things are just understood. I would say, 271 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 4: in the past, I wasn't able to keep up with 272 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 4: a lot of my elistic or neurotypical relationships just because 273 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 4: I wasn't able to be as present. And like I said, 274 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 4: my social battery, my battery in general, it just drains 275 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 4: really heavily, and that was something that people didn't always understand. 276 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 4: And so I feel like a lot of our relationships 277 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 4: in the past kind of just like fizzled out. And 278 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 4: specifically when I figured out that I had autism, I 279 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 4: can't hold you, Like I honestly ghosted a lot of 280 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 4: relationships at the time, just because I feel like that 281 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 4: was like such a distinct moment of a there's you 282 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 4: before something and then there's you after something. And so 283 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 4: I feel like after I realized that I was autistic, 284 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 4: I realized how many like unhealthy relationships that I was in, 285 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 4: And like we said earlier, being autistic or just the 286 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 4: word in itself, can have a very negative connotation. So 287 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 4: I think that at the time, I wasn't really equipped 288 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 4: with like how to explain what I was going through 289 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 4: to the people around me, and unfortunately, those things just 290 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 4: kind of like fell off, and yeah, I just like 291 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 4: started fresh. 292 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: It sounds like your friends now, it's like radically honest 293 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: and like you eliminated the superficial, you know what I mean, 294 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 1: Like you have sometimes the pressure with your friends, like 295 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: I have to show up and I have to do this, 296 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: and I have to be the best version of myself. 297 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: But it sounds like with your friends now you can 298 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: be your true self in the most truest form, and 299 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 1: that's beautiful because I feel like a lot of us 300 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,199 Speaker 1: in our TONI is just like trying to be the 301 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: best friend we can be at all times, and that's 302 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: so exhausting. It's exhausting sometimes like to be a friend, 303 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: but when you have a friend group that sees you 304 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 1: as who you are, it takes out half the work. 305 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 4: No, I definitely agree, it's kind of weird. I think 306 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 4: about it a lot of times, like, Wow, I'm here, 307 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 4: especially as somebody that grew up a lot more solitary 308 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 4: into myself and like wanting friends but never really being 309 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 4: in those environments where I felt safe to branch out 310 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 4: and make those friends. It feels so full circle to 311 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 4: be here and to have people that just get me. 312 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 4: Didn't really think that I would get to this point, 313 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 4: especially with the challenges that I've had socially growing up. 314 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,959 Speaker 4: So I'm so blessed and so grateful because even outside 315 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 4: of being neurodiversin, just with the way the economy and 316 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 4: society is so it's hard to be social anyways. You 317 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. Everybody's working, everybody has to do 318 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,680 Speaker 4: what they have to do, and especially in your twenties, 319 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 4: like everybody's at a different point, and so I think 320 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 4: another part of that is the fact that like me 321 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 4: and my friends were all at the same point of 322 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 4: living with family and trying to figure out work, and 323 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 4: I don't know, it just helps that like we're all 324 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 4: on the same level there. 325 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 1: Yes, I completely feel that a thousand person. So let's 326 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: transition into talking about your school experience. One of the 327 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 1: things that you've documented on your YouTube channel was your 328 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 1: decision to attend a community college. What motivated this decision. 329 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 4: Well, I've always enjoyed school. I dropped out of Howard 330 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 4: University when I was nineteen just because it was too 331 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 4: much keeping up with everything. I was also being hazed, 332 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 4: which was like affecting my scholarship, and so yeah, just 333 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 4: took a break for four years from that. But in 334 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 4: terms of community college, I just wanted to fresh start 335 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 4: because when I went to Harvard, I was getting pretty 336 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 4: big on YouTube, and I think that that kind of 337 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 4: affected my social life and I just don't feel like 338 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,439 Speaker 4: I got I don't want to say I'm more honest experience, 339 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 4: but like a more wholesome college experience, just due to 340 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 4: like being in that limelight. And at eighteen, I was 341 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 4: a political science major and I just think about that now, 342 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 4: like what would you have been doing right now? Like 343 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 4: I thought that I don't care about political science. I 344 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 4: think that right now especially it's so important to be 345 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 4: like politically aware. But I think that I just wasn't 346 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 4: as passionate about my major. And so when I left 347 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 4: and I had that little self discovery process, I just 348 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 4: realized like how much I enjoyed video editing, specifically in 349 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,160 Speaker 4: documentary work, because that's what I'd pretty much been doing 350 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,479 Speaker 4: on YouTube, was documenting my life. And so I was like, well, 351 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 4: why can't I do this for other people? And so 352 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 4: community college, for one, it's a lot cheaper than most 353 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 4: traditional colleges. I think Howard was like thirty thousand a 354 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 4: year and I was only going there because I had 355 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 4: a scholarship. But my community college now is like I 356 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 4: want to say, about three thousand a year, depending on 357 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 4: how many classes you're in. Yeah, a lot cheaper if 358 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 4: you're like within the district of it. And it's just 359 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,440 Speaker 4: like nice to just go to school and go home 360 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 4: and not have to worry about all of the extra 361 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,680 Speaker 4: stuff that can come with like a traditional college campus. 362 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 4: And there's also so many resources at my community college 363 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 4: as well. Like I go to their food country weekly. 364 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,880 Speaker 4: There's financial assistance if you need it, and so it's 365 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,360 Speaker 4: just nice to like not have all of the extra factors. 366 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 4: I would say community college is very cut and dry, 367 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 4: like you go to class, you go home. Like I 368 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 4: wish that I could be more social there, but I 369 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 4: don't know. I'm also working, and I wasn't like working 370 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 4: working when I was at Howard University, and self balancing 371 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 4: work in school can be a lot as well. But yeah, 372 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,880 Speaker 4: community college is just a lot more chill, I would 373 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 4: say for me. 374 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,679 Speaker 1: No university life it's like, yes, you go to class 375 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: and you do that, but the other three fourths of 376 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: it is the social is the organizations, it's the drama, 377 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: it's the related it's just once you take that out 378 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: of it, it's like you're just supposed to be a student. 379 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: So I can imagine that community college is like refreshing 380 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: just to have a simple life and not have all 381 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: these external factors that are draining when your purpose is 382 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: to study and to move on after the four years. 383 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: I can only imagine, No. 384 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 4: That's like exactly what it is. I think that, like 385 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 4: I said, I'm very easily distractable in many respects and 386 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 4: so just being able to go to class and go 387 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,879 Speaker 4: home and for one to go home to my own room, 388 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 4: my own bed. Like when I was at Howard my 389 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 4: first year, I was in a triple and I was 390 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 4: the top bunk and I did not really like messing 391 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 4: my roommates like that, and they never left the rooms 392 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 4: and so it was just a lot. It's like I 393 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 4: never catch a break, you know what I'm saying. So 394 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 4: it was just really nice because even after that, I 395 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 4: was in a student apartment paying like twelve hundred dollars 396 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 4: for a one bedroom and a two bedroom, and I'm 397 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 4: just like, what, why are we doing this to ourselves? 398 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. I think that it's so 399 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 4: important to get those experiences of like leaving home and 400 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 4: trying out new things. Like I don't regret it, and 401 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,959 Speaker 4: I think that it's taught me so much. But I 402 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 4: think that for the most part, I just gathered what 403 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 4: I don't want to do versus what I actually do 404 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 4: value and enjoy it. 405 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: Right, you're taking me back, encringing me. At the same time, 406 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 1: what do your accommodations look like on your college campus? 407 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 4: So for me, I have accommodations for my ADHD and OCD. 408 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 4: I don't have a formal autism diagnosis. That's a whole 409 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 4: other conversation, but for the most part, they pretty much 410 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,639 Speaker 4: cover what I feel like they would cover if I 411 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 4: did have an autism diagnosis. Right now, my biggest accommodation 412 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 4: would be breaks within class. I can that's just like 413 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 4: get up and leave and just take a breather if 414 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 4: I need, and my teacher can't really say anything about it, 415 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 4: which is really nice. I've definitely like gone back and 416 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 4: forth with teachers but my accommodations because they just don't 417 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,959 Speaker 4: understand it or they just take it as me being 418 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,880 Speaker 4: like lazy, you're not paying attention. But I also crochet 419 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 4: in class. That's a big one that like I've gone 420 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 4: back and forth with teachers about, and that's just like 421 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 4: very therapeutic for me, very grounding. I have flexibility attendance, 422 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 4: meaning I can be a little bit late if I'm 423 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 4: just having a bad day. They call them flare ups. 424 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,239 Speaker 4: But I could just not attend now obviously, like that 425 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 4: does come with its own consequences because like I still 426 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 4: want to keep up with the material that I'm learning, 427 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 4: so like I really try my best to be present 428 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 4: and do what I can. But then I just also 429 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 4: have to remember to not shame myself when I just 430 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 4: do need that extra help. When it comes to testing, 431 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 4: I get double test time, and I can also take 432 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 4: my tests in a room away from my peers like 433 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 4: a loans. But I'm not distracted by things going on 434 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 4: in the room. And I'm pretty sure I have like 435 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 4: other accommodations, but those are the main ones that I 436 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 4: use for now, and they honestly do the job. 437 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 1: How have you navigated your professors who don't like you 438 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: crocheting in class? 439 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 4: Like? 440 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: How do you navigate that conversation with your professor? 441 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,160 Speaker 4: So there's been a few conversations. I like to say 442 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 4: that I handled it very elegantly, but I'd be kind 443 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 4: of irritated just having to go to school and do 444 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 4: with so much in general. And so the last teacher 445 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 4: that I had to check, I just sent like a 446 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 4: pretty lengthy email just explaining why I do what I do. 447 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 4: That's another thing, though, like I feel like when you 448 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 4: have disability accommodations, you should not have to explain why 449 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 4: to a teacher. They should just accept it and be like, Okay, 450 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 4: this is what it is. Cool because then that can 451 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 4: be a whole other thing, Like I'm not quite sure 452 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 4: the legal ramifications of the consequences that a teacher can 453 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 4: find themselves in, But for the most part, I think 454 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 4: that I just like stood my ground because I knew 455 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 4: that they could not say that I couldn't do it, 456 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 4: so I just told them what it was and that 457 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 4: pretty much fixed the situation. But yeah, it is really 458 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 4: tricky because when you're nerrative regent, paying attention doesn't always 459 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 4: look like what nurshipical or a lest do people think 460 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 4: paying attention looks like. And so yeah, definitely frustrating. But 461 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 4: I think that it just unfortunately comes with the territory 462 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 4: of it all, because I think the teachers also like 463 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 4: try to teach like a very one size fits all way, 464 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 4: and they look at all of their students as one 465 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 4: person all the time, which is not helpful at all either. 466 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,520 Speaker 1: Even with the language that they might use in the 467 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 1: classroom is very much a one size fits all, when 468 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: if you're a bit more well versed in your field, 469 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: you would know that that's not a classroom setting at all. 470 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: So thank you for walking me through that. I was 471 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 1: just curious, what are those conversations. 472 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 2: Like, Hi, I'm sorry, Taylor, and I'm the TPG podcast 473 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 2: production intern. We'll return to Jana right after the break. 474 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: Were there specific resources or services that you found helpful 475 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 1: during your college journey. 476 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 4: The food pantry is like the first thing, just because 477 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 4: from one, groceries everywhere very expensive. But also it's just 478 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 4: nice to like have something in this space that I'm 479 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 4: already accustomed to going to the grocery store. It can 480 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 4: be a lot for me, and so it's nice just 481 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 4: already being familiar with campus and knowing where I need 482 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 4: to go, and like it's in the little tiny room, 483 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 4: so it's not overwhelming whatsoever. That's been like a super 484 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 4: helpful resource. There's also tutors for like pretty much anything 485 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 4: you need at my college campus, which is also really helpful, 486 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 4: and I've utilized that like a few times here and there. 487 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 4: So some of a film major things aren't like super 488 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 4: super challenging, but the material can be danse and so 489 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 4: I think for me it's important to just have things repeated. 490 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 4: I think the repetition within my major in terms of 491 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 4: studying is what helps me the most. I feel those 492 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 4: are the two biggest resources that I utilize right now 493 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 4: for sure. But there's definitely a lot more on my campus. 494 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: I didn't learn about my food pantry to like my 495 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,879 Speaker 1: junior year of college at my university, and it's the 496 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: most underlooked resource on a college campus. Like the food 497 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 1: pantry saves lives. It's the best resource, and I wish 498 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: it was more advertised because I also feel like there 499 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 1: is a stigma around utilizing the resource, which is unfortunate. 500 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: But it's an amazing place to go. 501 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,719 Speaker 4: No, Yeah, there definitely is like a stigma in and 502 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,159 Speaker 4: around food pantries with my school, Like you don't have 503 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 4: to have a specific need. It's just like, hey, you 504 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 4: need food here it is it really doesn't matter what 505 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,199 Speaker 4: the situation is. And honestly, like I feel like the 506 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 4: more students that utilize a food pantry, they're encouraged to 507 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 4: keep it stopped because I will say with my food pantry, 508 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 4: like I do run across like a lot of expired 509 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 4: food and things of that nature, and it's like really unfortunate. 510 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 4: That's like just what the options are. But yeah, like 511 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 4: definitely cried the first time that I went to my 512 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 4: school is food pantry, because for one, there was just 513 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 4: like that internalized shame of like, oh, free handouts. I 514 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 4: never thought that I would be here because I used 515 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 4: to also volunteer at food pantries when I was in 516 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 4: high school. And when I saw people going through food 517 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 4: pantries when I was younger, I'm just thinking that obviously 518 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 4: they're going through rough financial situations, but I just never 519 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 4: thought that I would also be in that situation as well. 520 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 4: And so yeah, very grateful that I have that resource 521 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 4: for sure. And they also have things outside of food 522 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 4: in the pantry as well, like deodorant, like toilet trees, 523 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,480 Speaker 4: like clothes, and I just would have never known. 524 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 1: It's more than food, like trust, It's more things than 525 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: just the name overall. But I'm glad that you were 526 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 1: able to find that for yourself. 527 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 4: Thank you. 528 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,719 Speaker 1: So I know that you liked to crochet, which is 529 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: very impressive. I wish I had the talent and I'm 530 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 1: putting on my bucket list to learn this year. How 531 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 1: have you found other creative outlets or hobbies to be 532 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 1: beneficial for your well being and if so. 533 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 4: How Christiane definitely like top three, but outside of Krishane, 534 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 4: I'm like experimenting with sewing. I think that these past 535 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 4: few years I can be like a doomer at times, 536 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 4: but I'm just like, Okay, what can I learn right 537 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 4: now in case we're ever like not able to consume 538 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 4: in certain ways. So I think that mending clothes has 539 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 4: been really intriguing to me. I've also like started to 540 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 4: make these bags out of genes, like upcycling genes and 541 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 4: just going to the thrift store and trying to see 542 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 4: what I can change things into. Outside of that, video 543 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 4: editing will always be like my pride enjoy. I can 544 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 4: zone out for hours editing something. And yeah, I would 545 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 4: say Kurshang sewing and video editing are my top creative 546 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 4: passions right now. 547 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: I love the sewing outlet. I also think about doomsday 548 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: or the day that, like the Internet goes out, and 549 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:04,160 Speaker 1: I should probably pick up archery, you know, just in 550 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 1: case that day comes, because it's coming. But I love 551 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,479 Speaker 1: also the upcycling. I'm just always impressed by people who 552 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,960 Speaker 1: are able to make tangible items like with their hands. 553 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: I think that's the most impressive thing. So I love 554 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: all of those and of course the video editing. But 555 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: I completely af fel you on the doomsday for sure. 556 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm definitely like a big I need to be 557 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 4: touching things like very textile, Like I want to get 558 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 4: into pottery next, that's like on my list. 559 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, my friends have tried many times to take me 560 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 1: to a pottery class, but I just I'm just intimidated 561 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: by it. I'm very intimidated by like the I guess 562 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: the failure of it. But it looks really interesting, looks 563 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 1: so interesting. 564 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 4: I agree. 565 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: So what advice would you give to other neurodivergent individuals 566 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 1: entering or currently navigating the college experience. 567 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 4: You really gotta go at your own pace, and I 568 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 4: think that that definitely comes with a certain level of comfortability, 569 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 4: like within yourself being able to do that, like being 570 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 4: able to not constantly compare your rate of success. I 571 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 4: guess to your peers, I think that the four year 572 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 4: college layout four years is a while, but if I 573 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 4: started at eighteen and I'm twenty four, it can take 574 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 4: a while, and sometimes you may need a gap year 575 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 4: a break. I think the college is a very, very 576 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 4: very demanding place, and so if anything, cut out those 577 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 4: extra distractions, because it can just be so overwhelming thinking 578 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 4: about managing social homework and being a part of orgs 579 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 4: and doing this that, and the third, I think that 580 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 4: keeping things down to like bare bones can actually be 581 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,880 Speaker 4: a lot more beneficial, even if it may seem like, 582 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 4: I don't know, boring, I guess definitely see what kind 583 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 4: of accommodations you can get. I didn't even get accommodations 584 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 4: until I was in community college when I started it 585 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 4: around like twenty three, and I'm looking back like while 586 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 4: like accommodations would have been so helpful when I was 587 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 4: in college my first go round, and then just like 588 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 4: continue to learn more about yourself because I feel like 589 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 4: in a world that's so catered to and for neurotypical people, 590 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 4: we're not always given option through ways of doing things 591 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 4: that are like actually for us, and I can get 592 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 4: us caught up, like the last thing that you want 593 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 4: to do is burnt out and then just not be 594 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 4: able to do anything at all. And so yeah, I 595 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 4: think that those would be my big three for sure. 596 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 1: Lovely advice. This has been such a good and informative conversation. Kai, 597 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 1: Where can we keep up with you? What are your 598 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: social media handles? 599 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:13,600 Speaker 4: I'm on YouTube at Sincerely Kai or Kai Foster. You 600 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 4: can find me on Instagram and TikTok and tumbler if 601 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 4: you're still into that at Kai M Foster. 602 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: Lovely well, thank you so much for talking with me today. 603 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: I loved our conversation. 604 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me. 605 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: I want to thank Kai once again for joining us 606 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,720 Speaker 1: for this episode. Class is over for now, but before 607 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 1: we dismiss, here's some homework to take home with you. 608 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 1: Find out if either your school or town has a 609 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,279 Speaker 1: local food pantry that you can utilize, remembering that it's 610 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: okay to accept and receive help. Talk with your school 611 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: successibility office or your academic advisor to discover what accommodations 612 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: are right for you. Schedule time with each of your 613 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 1: professors at the beginning of next semester to discuss your 614 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 1: learning needs. To learn more about the work Kai is doing, 615 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 1: or to do more research on this topic, be sure 616 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: to visit Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash tvgu This 617 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: episode was produced by Elise Ellis and Zaria Taylor. Editing 618 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,720 Speaker 1: is by Dennison L. Bradford.