WEBVTT - DONKEY: Florida Man Arrested For Stealing From Jesus

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<v Speaker 1>Wacky through the story out of Florida on the Breakfast clubs.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Man, that definish laugh Jesus no, I was laughing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I call those Miller posts with my God

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<v Speaker 1>call those Miller.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen, Donkey Today for Thursday, October twenty fourth goes to

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<v Speaker 2>a twenty year old Florida.

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<v Speaker 1>Man named Jeremy Lang.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, what does your uncle Shla always say about the

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<v Speaker 2>great state of Florida. The craziest people in America come

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<v Speaker 2>from the Bronx and all of Florida, and today is

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<v Speaker 2>no exception.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, I'm gonna tell you right now.

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<v Speaker 2>We keep having all these conversations about border security, but

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<v Speaker 2>I see stories like the one I'm about to tell you,

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<v Speaker 2>and all I keep thinking is we're building walls for

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<v Speaker 2>the wrong people.

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<v Speaker 1>We need to build more walls.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, finish the one at the border, because yes, we

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<v Speaker 2>need stronger border security.

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<v Speaker 1>But who gonna keep these crazies from within away from us? Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm looking at Jeremy Lang, and I'm saying I need

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<v Speaker 2>a wall built internally here in America to keep us

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<v Speaker 2>away from them.

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<v Speaker 1>Who is them? Them? Is the crazies?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, ste He's a young man, so I can grace

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<v Speaker 2>only twenty years old. But then I see what he's

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<v Speaker 2>accused of, and it just reinforces to me that this

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<v Speaker 2>new era we are in because of social media just

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<v Speaker 2>has completely completely made people.

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<v Speaker 1>Lose sight of what reality is.

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<v Speaker 2>Hell, if you twenty, you probably don't know what reality is.

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<v Speaker 2>You never experienced it. You grew up in an era

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<v Speaker 2>of social media and YouTube and nothing, I repeat nothing

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<v Speaker 2>will make you out of touch with reality like those platforms. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>Jeremy Will wanted to steal from Jesus. Okay, what Jesus

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<v Speaker 2>for the police? Where people worship? Okay Jesus? And that

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<v Speaker 2>place is a church. Yes, Jeremy was arrested last week

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<v Speaker 2>for burglarizing a church, and police say he's probably linked

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<v Speaker 2>to six more.

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<v Speaker 1>What type of table you get in hell for that? Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>I should get you in the VIP section of Club

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<v Speaker 2>Satan with bottle service. But Jeremy was arrested for burglarizing

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<v Speaker 2>the church. Let's go to ABC three for the report.

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<v Speaker 3>Police Police say twenty year old Jeremy Lang is responsible

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<v Speaker 3>for at least seven burglaries over two and a half

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<v Speaker 3>week span. Surveillance footage we obtained from pastor Clifton Riley

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<v Speaker 3>at bethel Am Church shows the suspect break several windows

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<v Speaker 3>before eventually climbing in last Friday night. The pastor tells

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<v Speaker 3>me he spent less than five minutes inside and left

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<v Speaker 3>with nothing. Authorities say Lang was spotted Monday night wearing

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<v Speaker 3>the same clothes from the surveillance days prior. He was

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<v Speaker 3>found carrying burglary tools, marijuana, and a stolen.

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<v Speaker 4>Firearm, and PPD says Jeremy Lang provided a false name

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<v Speaker 4>to them at the time of his arrest. He is

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<v Speaker 4>charged with one of the burglaries at this church. Other

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<v Speaker 4>charges are pending from the six other churches that he's burglarized.

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<v Speaker 4>PPD did not identify the items that he is accused

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<v Speaker 4>of stealing.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I definitely could just give him donkey of to

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<v Speaker 2>day for that, you know what I'm saying, Because you

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<v Speaker 2>know you stole from the church.

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<v Speaker 1>God definitely got something for this jackass.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's between him and his creative But the reason

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<v Speaker 2>I'm giving them donkey of to day is not only

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<v Speaker 2>because he stole from all those churches, but police searched his.

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<v Speaker 1>Cell phone and in his cell.

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<v Speaker 2>Phone he had Internet searches like and I quote how

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<v Speaker 2>to cut shirt into a mask?

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<v Speaker 1>Jesus, where do church keep money?

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<v Speaker 2>These are actual quotes. Do churches have safes? Let me

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<v Speaker 2>tell you how he spelled safes? S A f e apostro,

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<v Speaker 2>three apostrophe, s so s apostrophe.

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<v Speaker 1>This is the one that got me.

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<v Speaker 2>He googled events where you raise money in Pensacola. He

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<v Speaker 2>was going after all the sweet licks. This man was

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<v Speaker 2>gonna rob people who were actually doing great things in

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<v Speaker 2>the community. Events where you raise money in Pensacola. I

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<v Speaker 2>had to google for myself events where you raise money

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<v Speaker 2>in Pensacola because I had to see what Jeremy saw.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to see what Jeremy saw.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, would you like to hear some of the events

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<v Speaker 2>This heathen was plotting on. Fourth Annual brunch Fest Purple

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<v Speaker 2>Pain Artie. That's the second annual charity event, a Fall

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<v Speaker 2>Paul po Loser, a pet adoption and charity event together

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<v Speaker 2>for Tomorrow. Event, fourth Annual Mission two Show and Shine

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<v Speaker 2>Ends Fall Parts, twenty eighth Annual CCA Pensacola banqueted Auction,

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<v Speaker 2>Hot Work Hits Cancer Pensacola, East Hill and Northwest.

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<v Speaker 5>Bro He deserved to be under the jail.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you talking about?

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<v Speaker 2>You know what's under the jail now, Okay, you was

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<v Speaker 2>gonna take money from people raising money for cancer. You

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<v Speaker 2>was gonna take money from people who are encouraging people

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<v Speaker 2>to adopt pets. I keep telling y'all, segregation wasn't a

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<v Speaker 2>bad concept. It was just poorly executed. Should have been

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<v Speaker 2>based on behavior, not race. Because I don't want people

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<v Speaker 2>like Jeremy eating in the same establishments I'm eating. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want people like Jeremy going to the same

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<v Speaker 2>schools as my kids. And I damn sure don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to go to the same church as Jeremy because he's

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<v Speaker 2>just in there staking the place out. I need to

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<v Speaker 2>see what human evolution looks like for people like Jeremy.

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<v Speaker 2>He's twenty, but he thinks he can just google search

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<v Speaker 2>how to commit a crime against the church, how to

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<v Speaker 2>commit crimes against the community. He literally searched for how

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<v Speaker 2>to cut shirt into a mask? Where do church keep money?

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<v Speaker 2>He was plotting on robbing a pet adoption and charity event.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if anything man made, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if anything man is created can rehabilitate this human I

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<v Speaker 2>think even God would have to admit some of the

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<v Speaker 2>product he created is just defective. Please give Jeremy Lang

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<v Speaker 2>the biggest he.

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<v Speaker 6>All sorrible what you're looking at?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's play a game of yes what racing. Jeremy Lang,

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<v Speaker 2>twenty years old from Pensacola, Florida, robbed about five to

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<v Speaker 2>six churches, and he googled how to He googled how

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<v Speaker 2>to cut shirt into a mask?

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<v Speaker 1>Where do church keep money?

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<v Speaker 2>DJ and B Guess what?

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<v Speaker 1>White? Okay, not mad at that.

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<v Speaker 2>See, if he was black, he'd have the pool shisty

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<v Speaker 2>mask already so he wouldn't need to cut a mask

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<v Speaker 2>into it.

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<v Speaker 1>So good that I'm going. I'm going with good use

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<v Speaker 1>of context.

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<v Speaker 2>Lauren LaRosa Jeremy Lang, twenty years older, Pensacola, Florida, robbed

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<v Speaker 2>about five to six churches, google things like do churches

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<v Speaker 2>have safes?

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<v Speaker 1>And using apostrophe in safes? Guess what?

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<v Speaker 5>I hate to do this to us us?

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 6>I think he's black? I hate it. I think he

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<v Speaker 6>watched a little bit of Like Too Much a first Sunday.

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<v Speaker 4>M hm.

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<v Speaker 6>Hm, Yeah, I think he's one of I hate that though,

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<v Speaker 6>but I think he's one of us.

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<v Speaker 1>Posture phees Well DJ MV Lauren Lroossa.

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<v Speaker 2>I want you both to know that you are absolutely

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<v Speaker 2>positively wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, both of you all are wrong. Jeremy Lang is

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<v Speaker 1>not white. Jeremy Lang is not black. J Lang is.

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<v Speaker 5>How did you think he was gonna get away with

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<v Speaker 5>that hair like that?

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<v Speaker 1>Like you would see that here?

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<v Speaker 2>Marloway, I don't care if you wreaped your face with

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<v Speaker 2>a T shirt a sweatshirt.

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<v Speaker 5>You can see that hand stick it out.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm convinced after seeing that that and word did it

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<v Speaker 6>for the mixtape.

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<v Speaker 5>He needed content for his mixtape.

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<v Speaker 1>Look at him.

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<v Speaker 2>Look at him, Okay, look at him, prostut. This man

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<v Speaker 2>looks suspicious in any neighborhood. I don't care what neighborhood

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<v Speaker 2>he is. Then he looked suspicious black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods.

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<v Speaker 2>This man will get the police called on him.

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<v Speaker 6>He came out, he looked like he came out the

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<v Speaker 6>womb and doing all the wrong stuff.

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<v Speaker 5>Yo.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, even in his mockshut, he's like he got his

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<v Speaker 1>bought up. Like when I get out of here, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>coming straight to the past.

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<v Speaker 6>You gotta be a different type of dumb to try

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<v Speaker 6>and rob the people.

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<v Speaker 1>Of God Jesus. All right, well, thank you for that.

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<v Speaker 1>Donkey Today.

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<v Speaker 2>Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned person injury attorney Michael

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<v Speaker 2>to Bull Lambing's soft. Don't be a donkey when you

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<v Speaker 2>Bull dot com. And when you mess with the bull,

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<v Speaker 2>you get the horns. Wake that ass up in the morning.

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<v Speaker 1>The Breakfast Club