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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My sister abandoned me when I was facing homelessness. That's

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Speaker 3: the worst time to do that. Trigger warning homelessness and neglect.

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Speaker 3: I twenty nine male, haven't spoken to my sister, twenty

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Speaker 3: six female in over a year, and everyone thinks I'm

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Speaker 3: being an a hole about it. She's called messaged, banged

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Speaker 3: on my doors, sent crying voice messages, apologized dozens of times,

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Speaker 3: tried to explain herself, tried going to my job, tried

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Speaker 3: going to friends. Everything well, she recently had a child

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Speaker 3: and is still desperately trying to reach out. Even my

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Speaker 3: friends and my girlfriend are on my case that I

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Speaker 3: should forgive her and that they understood it at first,

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Speaker 3: but now think I'm being too harsh. The thing is,

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Speaker 3: the one time I truly needed her, she based told

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Speaker 3: me to go screw myself. Yikes. Nice. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Artie Shockers, and if you want to

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Speaker 3: smit your own stories. Go to the r slash Okay storytime,

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Speaker 3: separate it.

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Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, and I'm Angie and I'm Keon, and we're here.

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Speaker 3: To give good advice.

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Speaker 2: Goofully.

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 3: do in the comments, and OP says, let me explain

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Speaker 3: why this cut so deep. My sister has had only

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Speaker 3: one person to rely on from a young age, and

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Speaker 3: that person was me. We come from a broken family,

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Speaker 3: with one parent that was only around till I was five,

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Speaker 3: and the other one who was stuck in a cycle

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Speaker 3: of regular use. Because of our situation, I grew up

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Speaker 3: very quickly and shielded her from as much as I could.

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Speaker 3: She obviously was aware of what was going on, but

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Speaker 3: she was not in the crosshair. I started with stealing

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Speaker 3: from our mother to make sure we had food and

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Speaker 3: bills were paid. I got a part time job at

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Speaker 3: thirteen because we couldn't rely on our mother, and when

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Speaker 3: I graduated, I immediately got two jobs and we moved out.

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Speaker 3: I had to push my sister through high school. She

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Speaker 3: wasn't an easy teen for obvious reasons. On top of

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Speaker 3: going month to month trying to get as much money

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Speaker 3: together to pay our bills. At nineteen, she finally graduated

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Speaker 3: after being held back for a year. She changed her

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Speaker 3: tune a lot after that and started working as well

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Speaker 3: and had her own place when she was twenty one.

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Speaker 3: I finally got a shot to do something for myself

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Speaker 3: and got a degree, which led to a much better job. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: that was right before the pandemic hit, so I pretty

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Speaker 3: much went from hired to fired. As I was a

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Speaker 3: new hire. This is where everything fell apart. I was

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Speaker 3: out of work, on the brink of losing my apartments,

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Speaker 3: and only had one person who I expected I could

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Speaker 3: turn to, my sister. She was recently married and lived

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Speaker 3: with her husband, so I asked if I could stay

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Speaker 3: a few weeks at most a few months until I

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Speaker 3: got a new job. It was a no. I was

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Speaker 3: taken aback, but it remained a note. A week or

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Speaker 3: two later, I was out of my apartments. I asked

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Speaker 3: again and it was still a no.

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Speaker 5: We heard it.

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Speaker 3: At this point, I was homeless, and the only reason

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Speaker 3: I didn't end up sleeping on the street was because

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Speaker 3: I could crash out a few friends until I got

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Speaker 3: a temporary job. I rented a room with a bunch

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Speaker 3: of roommates for a while, eventually got a job in

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Speaker 3: my field again, and I'm now doing fine. That said,

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Speaker 3: I have not spoken to my sister since she claims

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Speaker 3: her husband refused to let me stay. That's crazy. Like

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Speaker 3: Sam came to me and was like, I need a

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Speaker 3: place to say yeah, I'd be like absolutely, absolutely, for sure,

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Speaker 3: and then if my partner was like no, I'd be like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you can find a place to say yeah, absolutely. And

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Speaker 3: he even reached out several times to beg me to

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Speaker 3: reach out to her. But to me, the one time

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Speaker 3: I needed her, she basically told me to f myself.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it was the last push I needed

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Speaker 3: to just end that chapter of my life. I feel bad,

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Speaker 3: but just not bad enough, I guess. Even though she's

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Speaker 3: apologized and tried to explain that her husband was the

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Speaker 3: one who said no, I can't get past the fact

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Speaker 3: that when I was literally about to be on the street,

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Speaker 3: she chose him over me. After everything I sacrificed for

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Speaker 3: her growing up, after being her safety net for years,

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Speaker 3: she couldn't be mine for even a few weeks. What

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Speaker 3: would you guys do? Am I being an a hole

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Speaker 3: for cutting her off completely top elevant comments. But before

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Speaker 3: we get into those comments, do you have any of

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Speaker 3: your own?

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Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, like because I yeah, I

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Speaker 4: see the like double standards, and I see how that

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Speaker 4: would feel so like betraying, you know, But I don't

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Speaker 4: know if I would.

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Speaker 3: Jump to cutting her off.

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Speaker 4: But I guess if there are other situations beforehand, Like

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Speaker 4: she said that, we're kind of like, I don't know

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Speaker 4: her taking advantage of her, if this wasn't like the

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Speaker 4: first bad incident that it seems like.

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Speaker 3: There was a lot. Yeah, and also it seems like

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Speaker 3: he was really hurt and it doesn't seem necessarily like

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Speaker 3: the sister has kind of apologized right for doing that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: just like to be like houseless is such a terrible

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Speaker 3: experience to go to sleep?

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Speaker 4: Temporary? Yeah, temporary like yeah, final answer, no, not the able.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. The last bass slope says, tell your friends and

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Speaker 3: girlfriend that only you get to decide when you're ready

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Speaker 3: to talk to your sister. That it's not their place

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Speaker 3: nor their business to try to force you into an

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Speaker 3: interaction that you aren't emotionally ready for. And if they

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Speaker 3: care about you at all, they will shut the up

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Speaker 3: up and let you do things when you're ready to

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Speaker 3: do them. I'd send your sister one message telling her

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Speaker 3: that you aren't closing the door on ever having a

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Speaker 3: relationship with her, but you need her to back off

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Speaker 3: and give you the time and space to work through

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Speaker 3: your feelings of betrayal. If that's true for you, that

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Speaker 3: you will reach out to her when and if you

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Speaker 3: are ready to, and not a minute before. And the

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Speaker 3: more she pushes, the less you want to be around her.

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Speaker 3: Then get into counseling to work through your feelings, decide

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Speaker 3: how much of a relationship with her you can handle emotionally,

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Speaker 3: and then proceed from there. If your girlfriend and friends

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Speaker 3: keep pushing, then they are only doing so for their

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Speaker 3: own selfish purposes rather than out of concern for you,

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Speaker 3: and you need to sh shut them down hard. Emergency

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Speaker 3: Yard six years or nine says this is good advice.

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Speaker 3: Some skeptical part of me is wondering why the sister

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Speaker 3: wants ope back in her life now that she has

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Speaker 3: a baby, babysitting, defraying baby expenses, wanting op to play

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Speaker 3: the happy generous uncle. If it was really guilt, she

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Speaker 3: would have reached out earlier, and it seems like sister

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Speaker 3: only reached out once OP was back on his feet

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Speaker 3: at it. It could be that all of Op's sacrifices

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Speaker 3: have led to her growing up to be very self

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Speaker 3: centered because all along she's never had to think of

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Speaker 3: someone else. And there is an update eight days later.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's a good point. Yeah, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 3: OPI was seemingly there for her kind of her whole life,

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Speaker 3: and then he needs her once, Yeah, and she doesn't

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Speaker 3: show up, and it's like, well, you know, I think

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Speaker 3: I've said this a lot in other stories of show

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Speaker 3: up for people when it's reciprocated, give what is returned

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Speaker 3: to you. And if you're like putting an effort into

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Speaker 3: a relationship that you're not seeing that effort being put

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Speaker 3: back in doesn't mean you have to go scream at

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Speaker 3: them and yell at them and beg for them, of course. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's just like, okay, you know what, when you want

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Speaker 3: to show up for me, that can change, but for

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Speaker 3: right now, yeah, First, to answer a couple of questions

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Speaker 3: that I was unable to answer, along with addressing some

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Speaker 3: incorrect comments in the previous post. Yet I saw asked

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Speaker 3: quite a few times. The first few no's were without

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Speaker 3: reasonable explanation. I was not aware of her given reason

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Speaker 3: that her husband was not okay with it until later.

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Speaker 3: She did not know she was pregnant when she declined,

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Speaker 3: and most of it happened before she would have even

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Speaker 3: been pregnant in the first place. I mean, most of

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Speaker 3: this took place over a year ago. I even put

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Speaker 3: that in the post, so I'm not sure how that

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Speaker 3: math would work out. I am not an anti vaxxer

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Speaker 3: or dirty or something. There were quite a few comments

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Speaker 3: that theorized this would be the case for her refusal.

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Speaker 3: I got my two vaccination shots the moment I could

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Speaker 3: get them, and well, my personal hygiene is not exactly

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Speaker 3: anyone's business. I shower once a day and my apartment

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Speaker 3: is spice. A lot of advice and comments seemed to

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Speaker 3: be from the perspective of functional families with a functional

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Speaker 3: family structure. This is not the case here. The primary

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Speaker 3: reason I am so gutted about this entire situation is

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Speaker 3: exactly that this isn't a case of well, I don't

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Speaker 3: want my cousin to stay in my house, you can

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Speaker 3: stay somewhere else. This is a case of me having

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Speaker 3: sacrificed my entire youth and a significant portion of my

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Speaker 3: early adult life for someone that I played no part

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Speaker 3: in creating or have any parental responsibility for, and the

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Speaker 3: first and only time I ever asked her to do

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Speaker 3: something for me as the only person I could reasonably

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Speaker 3: fall back on, and her not doing that, that's more

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Speaker 3: than a familial spat. That is straight up betrayal. That's

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Speaker 3: also an answer to the people saying that she owes

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Speaker 3: me nothing because I chose to be a parent anyway.

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Speaker 3: With that out of the way, I decided to follow

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Speaker 3: some advice given by several people. I told my girlfriend

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Speaker 3: and the friends who involved themselves or were involved by

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Speaker 3: my sister to back off.

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Speaker 2: Or lose my number.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's like, okay, you guys don't know what's going

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Speaker 3: on here. Yeah. Also again, way through a really hard situation,

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Speaker 3: which they apparently did not to I don't know if

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Speaker 3: they'd ever gone through that. Yeah, it doesn't seem like that.

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Speaker 4: They're definitely not being sympathetical.

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Speaker 3: They do not understand my perspective and likely it never will.

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Speaker 3: And I need to get that through my head as

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Speaker 3: I have a tendency to talk about my life as

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Speaker 3: if it is standard, but it is standard only to me. Luckily,

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Speaker 3: most people don't go through any of that. Now. Obviously

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Speaker 3: had a longer face to face conversation with my girlfriend

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Speaker 3: and with individual close friends, but it boils down to

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Speaker 3: that One friend kept pestering me about it, and I

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Speaker 3: ended up dropping him as a friend. But my girlfriend

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Speaker 3: was apologetic, and most friends were either apologetic or said

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Speaker 3: they'd drop it. I ended up writing a long email

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Speaker 3: to my sister, and while I will not copy and

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Speaker 3: paste the entire thing here as it contains a lot

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Speaker 3: of personal information and far more horrible stuff than I

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Speaker 3: am unsure will even be allowed on a sub like this,

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Speaker 3: it more or less boiled down to me explaining to

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Speaker 3: her how her refusal to take me in for what

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Speaker 3: ended up being a few weeks how that made me,

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Speaker 3: and I detailed the long list of things I had

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Speaker 3: done to take care of her. Any final thought.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you're taking care of yourself, which is good,

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Speaker 4: the best thing you can do. Exactly, that's all you

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Speaker 4: can do, and you're doing a good job of it.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad you're setting boundaries with those friends, blocking them.

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Speaker 4: It just is a kind of crappy situation indeed indubitably yeah.

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Speaker 4: I ended up finishing my email telling her that even

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Speaker 4: if I take her version of the story as truth

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Speaker 4: and her husband is the cause of me not being

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Speaker 4: allowed to stay, that it is entirely irrelevant to me

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Speaker 4: because that just means she didn't fight for me at all.

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Speaker 4: I also informed her I have no interest in meeting

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Speaker 4: her child as of this moment, and I have no

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Speaker 4: interest in reconnecting with her, and if that changes in

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Speaker 4: the future, I will be the one to contact her.

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Speaker 4: I told her to let this be a lesson to her,

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Speaker 4: as it has been a painful lesson to me boil down.

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Speaker 4: I have decided to move on and keep the door

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Speaker 4: on the tiniest of cracks. She has responded a lot

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Speaker 4: since that moment, she seems unable to accept it, but

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Speaker 4: I have not responded since, and that is.

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Speaker 3: The end of that story.

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Speaker 4: I purposely missed meeting my sister's biological family, maybe just.

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Speaker 2: A little bit of social anxiety.

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Speaker 4: I'm twenty two male and my sister is twenty eight female.

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Speaker 4: For context, my sister was adopted because our parents thought

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Speaker 4: they couldn't conceive, and then I was born. But our

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Speaker 4: parents loved us both or whatever. By the way, this

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Speaker 4: comes from Active top fifty three and if you want

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Speaker 4: some of your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 4: Okay storytime Supreddit. And I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, and I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice goofully, but we

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Speaker 4: don't have all the answers, so we're just gonna guess

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Speaker 4: what we would do in this situation. But let us

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Speaker 4: know what you would do down below, so Op says.

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Speaker 4: A few months ago, my sisters started meeting with her

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Speaker 4: biological mom after tracking her down. I was there to

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Speaker 4: meet with them for the first meeting and everything. My

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Speaker 4: parents have been supportive and I've been supportive as well.

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Speaker 4: At that first meeting, her biological mom brought her two daughters.

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Speaker 3: They look a lot.

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Speaker 4: Like my sister, and the older kid is twenty one,

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Speaker 4: around my age. She hugged my sister and they cried

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Speaker 4: and everything. They look alike, and after talking, they were

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Speaker 4: able to point out similar behavioral characteristics.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's interesting.

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Speaker 4: I am nothing like my sister, though we have different interests,

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Speaker 4: but we've been close. When I was a kid, I

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Speaker 4: used to annoy her a lot and honestly, I've done

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Speaker 4: some messed up stuff to her. When I was twelve,

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Speaker 4: I pulled her earring and tore her ear low.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh, I know that happened to my mom. She

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Speaker 2: has a little pac Man on her ear.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, go out. I didn't want to hurt

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Speaker 4: her like that, but did want to mess with her.

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Speaker 4: I used to force myself into any outings with her friends.

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Speaker 4: I used to annoy her. I made fun of her

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Speaker 4: a few times when she got bad grades in math,

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Speaker 4: though she made fun of my English grades as well.

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Speaker 4: There's more messed up stuff that we did to each other.

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Speaker 4: Arguably I was worse, but I could go on and on.

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Speaker 4: When I was around fourteen to fifteen, we got chill

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Speaker 4: and have been chill ever since.

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Speaker 2: Chillers, I chiller alert.

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Speaker 4: I like video games, the gym, and the pupy range.

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Speaker 3: That's all I do.

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Speaker 4: She likes outdoor and super social activities. Her biological sisters

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Speaker 4: seem to be more in tune with her interests. I

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Speaker 4: kind of feel like I've been a crap brother and

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Speaker 4: felt like an impostor. I've sat out three other meetings.

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Speaker 4: They had them claiming that I couldn't come home or

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Speaker 4: that I was busy with work. I don't know how

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Speaker 4: to talk about this with her because I have a

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Speaker 4: super ironic relationship with her. She keeps it real with me,

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Speaker 4: but I've never spoken non sarcastically to her. Even when

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Speaker 4: she said that she would contact her biological family, I said, good,

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Speaker 4: hope they can take you off our hands, and we

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Speaker 4: both laughed it off. Recently, she's begun to suspect something.

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Speaker 4: She asked me if I don't like them, or why

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Speaker 4: I keep avoiding my family as a whole. I lied

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Speaker 4: to her and said that I'm actually busy. My mom

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00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 4: keeps asking me about it too, and tells me that

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Speaker 4: it's important to support her. I do support her, but

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Speaker 4: it's like I feel like she's better off with them.

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Speaker 4: They never annoyed her growing up and stuff. I know

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Speaker 4: it's a bit illogical, but I thought I was doing

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Speaker 4: the right thing since I didn't want her and meeting

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Speaker 4: them to be about me.

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Speaker 2: I think you're in that position giving yourself a little

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Speaker 2: bit too much importance. I don't think you could overshadow

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Speaker 2: her meeting her parents just by the virtue of being there, right,

305
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:10,200
Speaker 2: But I think you're also just feeling emotions because you're like, wait,

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Speaker 2: my sister, but now she's their sister and they look

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00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,839
Speaker 2: like they're even more alike. Am I even good at

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Speaker 2: being a brother? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I think there's some guilt here for like forcing himself

310
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Speaker 4: into other like hangouts with her and her friends and stuff.

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Speaker 4: So maybe he's like, oh, shoot, I can't do that,

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Speaker 4: and he's just doing it. He's too far on the

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Speaker 4: other side of the spectrum.

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Speaker 2: Now, he's just like, I gotta let her go, her

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00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 2: be with a real squad. Yeah, no, you don't know

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00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,600
Speaker 2: you're part of the squad.

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Speaker 3: Right, go on in.

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Speaker 4: I don't really get along with my dad, and my

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Speaker 4: mom never intervenes when I argue with him. My sister

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Speaker 4: has always stood up for me against him. She's the

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Speaker 4: only one who gets me, so I don't want to

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Speaker 4: lie to her. But I don't want to make this

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Speaker 4: moment about me either. I thought I was doing the

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Speaker 4: right thing anyway. Sorry if this is messly written. I

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Speaker 4: don't like thinking or talking about deep crap much. And

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Speaker 4: there are some comments, but yeah, I wouldn't call you

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Speaker 4: the A hole. I just think it's like, ah, whoops, whoops,

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Speaker 4: you don't have to do that.

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Speaker 5: You're good.

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00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,200
Speaker 2: You just need to be thinking more about that deep stuff.

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00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,479
Speaker 2: You're just covered it all up with jokes and facetiousness.

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Speaker 2: Expert at that right here, But you gotta deal with

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Speaker 2: the real.

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00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there are some comments. Comment number one says,

335
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,760
Speaker 4: not the ahole. Honestly, I would send this post to

336
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,360
Speaker 4: your sister. Sounds like you're struggling to tell her how

337
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 4: you regret how you treated her growing up and you

338
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,120
Speaker 4: appreciate her as a sister.

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00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:27,880
Speaker 3: You wrote it really well here.

340
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 4: Send this or something similar to her to help open

341
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 4: the conversation up. And there's lots of more support to Opie,

342
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 4: But op he doesn't give us any more information except

343
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Speaker 4: for this update.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

345
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 3: Twelve days later.

346
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, followed everyone's advice and thought about sending her a

347
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 4: text or letter. Unfortunately, my dad fractured his leg and

348
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Speaker 4: I had to stop by home to see him on Thursday.

349
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Speaker 3: We don't have a speaking relationship.

350
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Speaker 4: But my mom makes me still be a good son,

351
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Speaker 4: and he lashes out of my mom if I don't

352
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Speaker 4: play the part.

353
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Speaker 3: Oh that sounds.

354
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 4: Healthy, That's not very cool, yike. My sister was there,

355
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 4: since my dad and I don't talk face to face

356
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 4: and only talk through her or my mom Afterwards, my

357
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,960
Speaker 4: dad sat on the couch to watch TV and I

358
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 4: had some dinner with my sister. She just said that

359
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 4: it's been a long time since we'd seen each other

360
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 4: and asked if everything was okay and why I'd been

361
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 4: avoiding her for some reason. I started crying and I

362
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,560
Speaker 4: told her everything. It all just spilled out, not just that,

363
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,880
Speaker 4: but other issues that I've been having in life as well.

364
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 4: It's a little embarrassing. I haven't seen her since January.

365
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,320
Speaker 4: She started crying too, and assured me that I'll always

366
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Speaker 4: be family, and my mom.

367
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,520
Speaker 3: Cried as well. Oh my gosh.

368
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 4: My dad got pissed off and made a comment about

369
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 4: how men don't cry and that my mom and sister

370
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,160
Speaker 4: are spoiling me by letting me cry, which is the

371
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 4: same crap that he.

372
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Speaker 3: Normally did growing up. Yeah, that's annoying.

373
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Speaker 2: I can't imagine why you don't really talk to your dad.

374
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 4: I have no idea why you don't want to be

375
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,120
Speaker 4: You're having like.

376
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 2: The sweetest like family moment, and he's like, shut up,

377
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 2: little baby. Yeah, man, don't do that.

378
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 3: That's so annoying.

379
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 4: This time, my mom joined my sister and they both

380
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,840
Speaker 4: yell at him. They told him to f off. Essentially,

381
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 4: if off, he got angry and picked up his crutches

382
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 4: and walked or hopped to the neighbor's house.

383
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 3: That helped a lot.

384
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,360
Speaker 4: I took off from work and my sister did too,

385
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 4: and we spent all of Friday chilling. She wanted me

386
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,679
Speaker 4: to come to her bio mom's husband's birthday party on

387
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 4: Saturday if I was cool with it. I was, and

388
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,800
Speaker 4: I went there and met them again. Cool coincidence. Her

389
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 4: bio mom's husband's sister was my professor back in college. Wow,

390
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,640
Speaker 4: small world moment, that's crazy.

391
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 2: Small world.

392
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,560
Speaker 4: I ta'ate for her and she was my mentor. I

393
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,640
Speaker 4: spent most of the time there catching up with her

394
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 4: and taking grad school and career advice from her. She

395
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 4: said she knew someone at my dream company I want

396
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 4: to work for, and told me to contact her again

397
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 4: when I graduate, since I already know her and we're

398
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 4: confusingly family now. In her words, oh my gosh, that's amazing. Wow,

399
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 4: there's a little bit more to the story, but this

400
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 4: is great, this is wonderful.

401
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 2: And look, you're all part of the squad. Now you

402
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 2: were already the squad. You ta'd for your new sister's

403
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 2: mom's husband's sister.

404
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

405
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, confusingly family is a very good way to put it.

406
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 2: Very good way to confusingly family.

407
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more to the story.

408
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 4: My sister was glad that I had a good time,

409
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 4: and my mom did too. My dad sat it out

410
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 4: since he was injured, and when I had to leave,

411
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 4: my sister cried again and made a huge scene. She

412
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,640
Speaker 4: made me promise to never ignore my family like that again.

413
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 4: Oh shoot, I'm home now, and I'll continue stopping by

414
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,199
Speaker 4: once every two weeks like I did before everything. I

415
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 4: told my sister that I would show up to her

416
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,640
Speaker 4: meetings with them sometimes, but not every time because it's

417
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 4: still awkward for me. She said she's okay with that,

418
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 4: just wanted us all to know about each other. It's

419
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 4: chill now. All it took was crying like a child

420
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,959
Speaker 4: and being sappy. I'm never living that down. And there

421
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 4: are some comments coming. Number one says the mom and

422
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 4: sister yelling at the A hole dad part was quite

423
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,640
Speaker 4: satisfying to read.

424
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 3: Get lost dad. Real men aren't afraid of expressing their feelings. Yeah. Also,

425
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 3: what a cute story.

426
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 4: I'm happy to read about some good siblings relationship. Coming

427
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 4: Number two says, I'm quite glad that Ope was able

428
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 4: to once again make nice with his sister. Obviously they

429
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 4: love each other very much. Yeay for communication, Yay yay. Meanwhile,

430
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 4: back on the farm, it was quite satisfying to Seep's

431
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 4: mom join in on telling his father off. I hope

432
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 4: that the change sicks for both their children's sake.

433
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 3: Coming number three says I'm.

434
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,159
Speaker 4: Deeply, deeply confused as to why op needs to attend

435
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 4: so many visits with the sisters biofamily. Opie is not

436
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 4: related to them at all though, and they're all grown up.

437
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 3: What thatck note?

438
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,439
Speaker 4: I'm saying five six seven visits, the Ope is uncomfortable.

439
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 4: They feel left out. Why is it expected that they.

440
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 3: Continue with this?

441
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 4: It's not like they all, the biofamily and Ope's family

442
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 4: grew up together. I think it's fine if Ope doesn't

443
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 4: continue at twenty two, I had a lot going on. Well,

444
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 4: someone else responds, I suppose for largely the same reason

445
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 4: that I spend so much time with my brother and laws.

446
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 4: They're his family and he's my family. I don't have

447
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 4: to love them, but he loves them and I love him.

448
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 4: It would make his life harder if I didn't get

449
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 4: on with them. And that's the end of the story.

450
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 4: I think that's a good point.

451
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was kind of a weird coming be like

452
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 2: so and after like everything is like he like came

453
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 2: to terms with it and was like it's actually nice.

454
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

455
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 2: I was like, well, why does he have to keep seeing.

456
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 3: Them right right?

457
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, because it's his sister's actual like

458
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: biological family that she's just connecting with. And yeah, exactly,

459
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 2: it makes sense to I don't know, know them and

460
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 2: you maybe get along with them a little bit ly.

461
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 4: I think some families are closer than others, and this

462
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 4: just seems like a really close family. If that, if

463
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 4: he was already stopping by like every one to two weeks,

464
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 4: like this seems pretty solid and so if it was

465
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 4: important to her, then yeah, I guess it'd be important

466
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 4: to him. Solid Alid dude, they're all just you guys.

467
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 4: And that's the end of the story.

468
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 3: We're going on to the next one.

469
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 2: I want to expose my sister to her online followers.

470
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 4: WHOA Oh you don't want to do that, Hey, Hey,

471
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 4: what kind of followers were talking about?

472
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 2: WHOA trigger warning for mentions of an eating disorder. For context,

473
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 2: I twenty two female, have a younger sister, twenty female.

474
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 2: She has several issues, and despite everything, I've always tried

475
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 2: to be on her side and stand up for her.

476
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: Her problems include an eating disorder, binging and purging, reckless spending,

477
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 2: and a complete disregard for boundaries. By the way, this

478
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: comes from a user, It's Memon, and if you want

479
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

480
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 2: okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota and I'm in time keon. Yeah,

481
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 2: we're to give good advice, googly, but we don't have

482
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,400
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

483
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 2: So if you would do something different, let us know

484
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 2: in the comments. As Op says, I used to think

485
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 2: our upbringing was the reason she turned out this way.

486
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 2: But to give you a better idea of how serious

487
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 2: her issues are. During your binges, she can eat entire

488
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 2: loaves of bread, sticks of butter, and leaders of milk

489
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: a single night. When we lock the kitchen, she raids

490
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 2: whatever canned food is stored outside of it. She was

491
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,959
Speaker 2: in treatment once but refuses to go back. This has

492
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 2: cost my mom over one thousand dollars in grocery bills monthly.

493
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 2: She also spends her entire allowance on clothes and partying.

494
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: When she runs out of money, she demands more from

495
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: our mom. I've told my mom to stop giving in

496
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,640
Speaker 2: to her, but she still does. On top of that,

497
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 2: she constantly uses my things without permission. She used up

498
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: my expensive makeup spray and hasn't replaced it, despite promising

499
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 2: to do so months ago. I told her not to

500
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 2: take my clothes to university. She agreed, but then went

501
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 2: ahead and took them anyway. I found out when I

502
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 2: needed a top for an award ceremony and discovered it

503
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 2: was gone. She's even stolen food from my room, including

504
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 2: my emergency snacks. I've talked to her about her behavior

505
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: many times, but I can't always be there to guard

506
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 2: my space. I'm honestly so angry and frustrated. I love her,

507
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 2: but whenever I bring these things up, she just gives

508
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 2: off and I don't care attitude. The worst part is,

509
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 2: she once said, I understand how your boyfriend feels now

510
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 2: when you try to confront him, knowing full well that

511
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 2: my relationship struggles are a sensitive topic for me. I'm sure,

512
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 2: she said that just to hurt me. When I try

513
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 2: to explain how her actions affect me financially and emotionally,

514
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 2: she ignores me completely. What scares me is how openly

515
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,479
Speaker 2: manipulative she is. She once told me she sucks up

516
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: to our mom to get more money, and she's admitted

517
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 2: I don't care about things unless they affect me. Well,

518
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: it sounds like your sister might be just a scooch, selfish.

519
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 3: Sounds like I don't know what to do about that.

520
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 2: Now I'm at my breaking point. I know her reputation

521
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 2: means everything to her, and part of me wants to

522
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 2: make a TikTok her friends follow me there to expose

523
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 2: what she's really like. I want it to be a

524
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: wake up call, something that finally forces her to acknowledge

525
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 2: how she treats the people around her. Well, let me

526
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 2: just say, really quickly, that's not the way to do that.

527
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 4: That's a terrible idea. He couldn't be worse.

528
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 2: Literally not gonna accomplish anything, make everything worse, very bad idea.

529
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 2: Would I be the a hole if I did that?

530
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: Is it too far? Or is it justified? I mean,

531
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: it's justified or not. That's not really the point the

532
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 2: point is ever, just what do you want to happen?

533
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: You want? What do you want like a sense of

534
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 2: justice that like all of her friends learn that she

535
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 2: treats you poorly, so that what her friends don't like

536
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 2: her anymore. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna help her.

537
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 4: People might see it as just sister stuff and they

538
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 4: might just like excuse you, or they might think that

539
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 4: you're in the wrong because you're talking about it on

540
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 4: social media. Like with stuff like that that's pastive, aggressive

541
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 4: and something that's so public, you have so much less

542
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 4: control of the turnout of like what you're gonna get

543
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 4: from it, Like what you were saying, It's like, if

544
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 4: you want her to feel bad about it, then I

545
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 4: think you need to just give her natural consequences of

546
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 4: just like Okay, well, if you're gonna be mean to

547
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 4: me like this, then I just don't want to speak

548
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 4: to you or I don't want to be around you.

549
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 4: And if that means anything to her, that is hopefully

550
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 4: what will be hear wake up call. But yes, is

551
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 4: not a way to do that.

552
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 2: It would definitely be a bit of an a whole

553
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 2: move to make an exposing get ready with me type situation.

554
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we do.

555
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: Have some comments. I wonder what they have to say.

556
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 2: Comment one, You would be the ahole, whether or not

557
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: she deserves it. Taking such action would probably irreparably damage

558
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: your relationship with your sister. If you're okay with that,

559
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 2: go ahead, What might be a better choice is figuring

560
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 2: out a way to put some distance between the two

561
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 2: of you. It sounds like you both live with your mom,

562
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 2: but you also mentioned that she took your clothes to

563
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 2: university with her. If you do both still live with

564
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,400
Speaker 2: your mom and you can't manage to move out, install

565
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 2: a lock on your door. If you don't, then how

566
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 2: does she have access to your space and belongings. Cut

567
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: that off as soon as possible. Revealing her true nature

568
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 2: so to speak to her online followers will probably feel

569
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: good to you in the moment, but I promise you

570
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 2: those people don't care. Reply yep, not to mention. The

571
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: sister is obviously acting out because of some deeply buried trauma.

572
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: At least that's usually the case. It may not be

573
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 2: with her, but I would be surprised if it wasn't.

574
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 2: Doing this to her is not going to help. It

575
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 2: may actually make it worse until she's ready for change.

576
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 2: There is no possible way to force her, especially since

577
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,919
Speaker 2: she's got that nothing is my fault and everyone's against

578
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 2: me attitude. In her eyes, this will just be one

579
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 2: more reason to act out and make everyone miserable. Trust me, Op,

580
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,199
Speaker 2: you do not want the chaos this will bring comment

581
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 2: to says definitely the aole doing something like that speaks

582
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 2: volumes about you, not her. This notion is extremely childish

583
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: and vengeful. I suggest you take a good, hard look

584
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 2: at yourself and figure out your true motivation. Doing this

585
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: will only create drama for the entire family. There's a

586
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 2: clarification here. It's not possible to move out where I stay.

587
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,959
Speaker 2: It is expensive. It is a cultural norm here that

588
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 2: most people only move out once they are married. Some

589
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 2: don't because even with two incomes, housing isn't very very accessible.

590
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 2: My family is not well to do. We've been living

591
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: in the same place for twenty plus years. My door

592
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 2: can't be closed properly, much less locked. I would need

593
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 2: to replace the doorframe and the door to be able

594
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: to lock the door, which isn't financially viable. In my country,

595
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 2: we can't involuntarily institutionalize people for an eating disorder, which

596
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: honestly don't think that's the right move either. Yeah, I

597
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 2: realize that going online is probably very immature of me.

598
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 2: Hence I think that's why part of me decided to

599
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: get opinions first before going nuclear.

600
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 3: Well that's a better idea, Okay.

601
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 2: The only reason I considered doing this was because my

602
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 2: therapist said that people with her condition don't tend to

603
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 2: change unless it affects her life badly and people find

604
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 2: out necessitating a change. I although very idiotically thought I

605
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 2: could fast forward the need for change. I mean, I

606
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: guess that if your therapist is telling you to do it,

607
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 2: that explains why you thought it was such a good idea.

608
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, if people find out about it, and she's like, okay,

609
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 4: I'm gonna text the whole school.

610
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 2: Well fair enough that she did say like, I literally

611
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 2: don't care unless things affect me. Yeah, but I don't

612
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: know if you being the catalyst, because at some point

613
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 2: her friends, if she does behave this way with you,

614
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,959
Speaker 2: I don't doubt that she probably behaves this way with others,

615
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 2: and slowly her friends around her will just be like, hey,

616
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: we don't like it.

617
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it will affect her at some point.

618
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, eventually, Thank you a lot to the people who

619
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 2: gave me constructive feedback to not blow up the situation.

620
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: I understand it sounds absurd what I wanted to do,

621
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 2: but know it came from a place of extreme frustration

622
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 2: and anxiety about my current situation, not that it was

623
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 2: ultimately right. Unfortunately, I am not able to move out

624
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: and rent until I complete my university in two years.

625
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm still a full time student and can only work

626
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 2: on holidays due to my course load. I know it

627
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 2: seems like I am making excuses, but this is my life.

628
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: To be honest, I'm not angry. She has the eating disorder.

629
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 2: I don't feel anything but concern towards her in that regard.

630
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 2: It's the serious disregard for any boundary set, including those

631
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 2: that she proposed herself. What I'm frustrated about is this

632
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: stealing of my food. Food I bought to ensure that

633
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 2: when she eats up everything, at least I have my

634
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 2: own stash. She agreed that she would not touch my

635
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: food and encourage me to keep it out of sight

636
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: from her so she wouldn't find it or be tempted.

637
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 2: I never told her that I bought anything in order

638
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: to not trigger her eating disorder. I hid it in

639
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 2: a place where she would not have possibly seen it

640
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 2: unless she rummaged through my belongings, which she did. And yeah,

641
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 2: it's because your sister has a problem.

642
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know exactly.

643
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 4: It's like we get a safe if it's really that

644
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 4: big of a deal. And yeah, I mean, it's not

645
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 4: really a need for me to keep saying it that

646
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 4: it was a bad idea to talk about it on

647
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 4: social media because you already know that.

648
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: But I feel like that probably would have made it worse.

649
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 4: Honestly, I would have made her because it's more it's

650
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 4: more about control rather than just like.

651
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 3: Wanting food, you know what I mean exactly.

652
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 4: So, yeah, she's got a problem.

653
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: Let's be paid with that, Opie continues. She almost never

654
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 2: replaces what she takes. This has caused me to end

655
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: up super anxious about food security, which is absurd. I

656
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 2: tend to stash food around, not even to eat anymore,

657
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: but just to know that it's there. And I'm working

658
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 2: on that in therapy. This disregard of boundaries extends beyond

659
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: food too. She takes my makeup, my shampoo, toothpaste, clothes,

660
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 2: honestly anything she so pleases too, without my permission. I

661
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: would be okay if she at least replaced things when

662
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: they are finished or lets me know when she wants

663
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: to borrow things. But she never does the sound minor.

664
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 2: But every weekend when she's home, she goes into my

665
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 2: room when I'm not at home to use my things,

666
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 2: or when I'm sleeping, she sneaks in. This has caused

667
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 2: me to suddenly wake up in the middle of the

668
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: night or when I'm out. I get very anxious. I

669
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: know that you know your sister's been resistant to I

670
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 2: guess going to therapy, but that would be the move.

671
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,479
Speaker 2: I would think there's got to be resources out there

672
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 2: too online how to help a family member with an

673
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: eating disorder.

674
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 3: Right, did she ever mention talking to her parents about.

675
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 4: Like her taking her shampoo and other makeup stuff.

676
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it was, like she told her mom,

677
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: but her mom just kind of doesn't really lay down

678
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: any level of like consequences or repercussions for it.

679
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

680
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is frustrating because eating disorder is like one thing,

681
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 4: but everything else being stolen is like actually really annoying.

682
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know I respect. Yeah, let's finish this story.

683
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 2: I do not understand why people in the comments think

684
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: that this is minor, or that I would be jealous

685
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 2: of her. I worked hard to improve my life in

686
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 2: all aspects despite our rough upbringing. I worked hard for

687
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 2: my mental health. But now I honestly am struggling mentally again.

688
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: It is a constant invasion of my boundaries with absolutely

689
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: no repercussions. When I confront her, it's either met with stonewalling,

690
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 2: guilt tripping, or empty promises. She isn't a tea agrew

691
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: who doesn't know better. She is twenty. I am sure

692
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 2: that she is mentally ill, but I firmly believe that

693
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: bad circumstances should not be an excuse for you to

694
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: do bad things. I won't be going nuclear. I'm probably

695
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 2: just going to get safe boxes in my room. My

696
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 2: mom has refused to allow me to get someone on

697
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 2: my own dime to check or fix my door. But

698
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 2: I can't lock everything away. I don't have a solution

699
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: to my situation. And that is the end of that story.

700
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

701
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:30,719
Speaker 6: Here.

702
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

703
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

704
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 4: My friend kept his vasectomy a secret from his wife.

705
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 3: Uh, that's not good trig warning for mentions of missus.

706
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 4: I twenty eight male, have known my friend Kevin twenty

707
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 4: eight male, and his wife Emily twenty seven females.

708
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: Since high school.

709
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 4: The three of us went to different colleges and stayed

710
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 4: close throughout. They got together towards the end of our

711
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 4: first year and got married soon after graduation. They have

712
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 4: been married around six years and together around nine. By

713
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 4: the way, this from deleted and if you want to

714
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

715
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 4: story time subredded And I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,

716
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice. Goofilly, but we

717
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We're just gonna guess what

718
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 4: we would do in this situation. So let us know

719
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments. And oh P says,

720
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 4: we all moved back to the Metro area where we

721
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 4: grew up. My wife and I spend a lot of

722
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 4: time with them. She and Emily have grown to be

723
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 4: very good friends, and Kevin and I also spend quite

724
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 4: a bit of time together, as I was always closer

725
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 4: to him than Emily anyway, before getting married, Kevin and

726
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 4: Emily had disagreements about children. Emily was very set on

727
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 4: having children and Kevin wasn't sure that he wanted any.

728
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 4: Kevin eventually said he would think about it, and they

729
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 4: didn't discuss it again until after they got married. Around

730
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 4: five years ago, Emily started bringing up that she was

731
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 4: ready to start trying to get pregnant. Kevin was adamantly

732
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 4: against having children at that point and told her that

733
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 4: he wanted to wait until he was more.

734
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: Stable in his career.

735
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 4: He was still at his first post college job in

736
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 4: a field where junior level employees typically have a two

737
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 4: to four year shelf life before moving on. He told

738
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 4: her that he wanted to wait a few years as

739
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 4: she would probably stay at home after having the baby.

740
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 4: Kevin confided in me that while the career explanation was true,

741
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 4: it wasn't the whole truth. He was still unsure that

742
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 4: he actually wanted kids at all and wanted to put

743
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 4: it off until he was sure. After much discussion, Emily

744
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 4: agreed to wait until Kevin had a more permanent job.

745
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 3: Around two and a half years ago. That happened.

746
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 4: He took a job with one of his long term

747
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 4: clients with better pay, benefits, schedule and job security. Almost

748
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 4: immediately after he took the job, Emily brought up getting pregnant,

749
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 4: and Kevin agreed to start trying.

750
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 7: Oh wow, oh oh oh, I see you.

751
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

752
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 4: Oh, that's unforgivable as far as I knew at the time.

753
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 4: Kevin agreed and Emily stopped taking birth control. Flash forward

754
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 4: to the present. No children yet. Up until this point,

755
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 4: as I understand it, anyway, their only attempts at conceiving

756
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 4: have been to continue their normal activities san's birth control.

757
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 4: Since this hasn't worked, Emily has started to gussing the

758
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 4: possibility of going to a fertility doctor to see if

759
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 4: there are any problems. The women on her mother's side

760
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 4: of the family have a history of having problems conceiving,

761
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 4: although with eventual success. Emily's grandmother and mother were twenty

762
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,760
Speaker 4: nine before they were able to conceive, with both trying

763
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: since their early twenties. Yesterday, Kevin confided in me that

764
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 4: before he left his previous job, he had a vasectomy

765
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 4: without telling Emily.

766
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 3: Wow, because he knew this was gonna happen. Yeah, that's

767
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 3: what I thought was gonna be the thing. Oh my god.

768
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 8: Yeah.

769
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 4: So now and now that she her family has a

770
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 4: history of that. He's probably gonna try to blame it

771
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 4: on her and think have her think that she's the problem.

772
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: Unforgivable. Oh my gosh.

773
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 4: After picking my jaw up off the floor, I started

774
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 4: asking him questions to figure out why the heck he

775
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 4: would do that. Apparently, after he began to put out

776
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: feelers for a new job, a process that took about

777
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: a year, Emily had brought up going ahead and getting pregnant.

778
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 4: Kevin pushed back pretty hard to wait, and she told

779
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 4: him that that was fine. Evidently Kevin was really leaning

780
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 4: towards not wanting children. After he got the new job

781
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 4: and they started trying to conceive, I just figured he

782
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 4: changed his mind and got on board. Shortly after they

783
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,280
Speaker 4: once again agreed to wait, Kevin became suspicious that Emily

784
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 4: wasn't taking her birth control. He would check her pill packs,

785
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 4: but he wasn't able to confirm one way or another

786
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 4: if she was taking them regularly. According to him, Emily

787
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 4: was acting suspiciously and was initiating spicy sleep much more

788
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 4: often than usual. Evidently, after considering the evidence available to him,

789
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 4: he was convinced that she had stopped taking her birth

790
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 4: control and was trying to get pregnant.

791
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 3: After they agreed to wait.

792
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 4: He was angry, but didn't want to confront her with

793
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 4: the evidence that could be explained away easily. At this point,

794
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,439
Speaker 4: I don't know if she was actually taking her birth

795
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 4: control or not. He could have been right or just paranoid.

796
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 4: Given his lack of trust of Emily and his increasing

797
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 4: desire to not have children, he decided to get a

798
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,879
Speaker 4: vasectomy and not tell her. There was a point where

799
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 4: he was traveling for his job and was going to

800
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 4: be a few states away for about a week and

801
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 4: a half. He was somehow able to range to get

802
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 4: a exectomy done during that time. The initial trip is

803
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 4: supposed to be ten days, but a weekend snowstorm caused

804
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 4: his flight to be canceled and his employer ended up

805
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 4: needing him to stay in another few days. Anyway, the

806
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 4: timing worked out to where the soreness and swelling was

807
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 4: gone by the time that he returned from the trip,

808
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 4: and according to him, this scar is completely unnoticeable unless

809
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 4: you shine a flashlight on the bottom of his walls

810
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 4: and look closely. So in the past three years, she

811
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 4: has never suspected anything. He always had his insurance information

812
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 4: sent to his office, had enough spare cash to cover

813
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 4: his cope and medications, and he changed insurance when he

814
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 4: took his new jobs. There aren't any records laying around,

815
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 4: so that was all well and good for a few years.

816
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 4: But now he's in a tight spot because if Emily

817
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 4: goes to the fertility doctor and things check out on

818
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 4: her end, the next logical step is for him to

819
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 4: get tested, at which point it will be obvious to

820
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 4: the doctor that he had of a sectomy. He gambled

821
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 4: on the fact that Emily's family has a history of

822
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 4: problems conceiving, so maybe there will be issues there to

823
00:37:59,120 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 4: place blame on.

824
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: See dude, Yeah, yeah, and that's that's the horrible things

825
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 3: he was getting hottle yes, because it's a fault that

826
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 3: you know, I've I haven't been in this kind of situation,

827
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 3: but from what I have heard, it's like, even though

828
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,359
Speaker 3: that's an okay thing to you know, not be able

829
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 3: to conceive and there's other options and everything, everyone that

830
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 3: can't seems to be so devastated by that. It does

831
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 3: cause a lot. There's a lot, I mean, like just

832
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 3: the I think they're often our feelings of shame around

833
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 3: round it not that there should be, yeah, but I

834
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 3: think that like they're just kind of that kind of

835
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 3: comes up right, uh. And to knowingly put that on

836
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 3: your partner when you know why they're you're not conceiving

837
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 3: is is just despicable. You're just not thinking about her

838
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 3: feelings at all.

839
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 4: In this situation, he has no idea what to do,

840
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 4: but guesses that he can stretch this out a year

841
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 4: or two before he has to go get tested. I

842
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 4: am really struggling with this. On the one hand, Kevin

843
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 4: is my best friend. On the other hand, he is

844
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 4: being totally deceitful to m one of my closest friends.

845
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 4: I'm not judging him for not wanting kids, but this

846
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 4: is something that he should have.

847
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 3: Communicated to her before now.

848
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 4: If he had talked to me about the situation before

849
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 4: he got the aseectomy, I would have told him that

850
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 4: he needed.

851
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 3: To break things off with her and move on. If

852
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 3: he was sure that he didn't want kids.

853
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 4: It wouldn't be fair to her, and it wouldn't be

854
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 4: fair to him if they ended up having children when

855
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 4: he didn't want to.

856
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 3: But that's not what happened. And I think, I mean, Carly,

857
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 3: you're pointing it out, but Kelsey Jad says it's way

858
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 3: easier for men to get a sect me it's reversible

859
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 3: and tubal litigation. I was just.

860
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 8: Answering that, yeah, but I was, oh, yeah, oh yeah,

861
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 8: I cleared it, about to say it same, I cleared it,

862
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 8: but yeah, I was gonna say, like, it's stupid and like,

863
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 8: for sure one is reversible, but that still shouldn't limit

864
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 8: the fact that, like, it's so hard for a woman

865
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 8: to get one, regardless of if they're like, like, you

866
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 8: shouldn't need your.

867
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: Partner's permission, and doctors will say like are you sure

868
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 3: that you're right for a whole day, or like, oh,

869
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 3: you can't get it until you've had your first child, right,

870
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 3: that's break her husband or partner back and they can

871
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 3: sign off on exactly.

872
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 9: Yes.

873
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 3: It's incredibly especially as a woman in your twenties, to

874
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 3: get yeah, to get that procedure done, it's incredibly hard.

875
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 3: A doctor will not approve of it, yeah or not.

876
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 3: I don't want to say will not, but like it's

877
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 3: very hard for them to approve it.

878
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 5: Right.

879
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 4: We love being women in this medical system. We've got

880
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 4: it's great. Great, he's been lying to her for years.

881
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 4: I can't tell my wife about this because I have

882
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 4: no doubt that she will call Emily and tell her immediately.

883
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 4: I'm trying to decide whether I should tell Emily, tell Kevin,

884
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 4: then he has to tell Emily or I will, or

885
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 4: completely stay out of the situation. I feel bad about

886
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 4: the entire situation, and I don't want to break up

887
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 4: their marriage or destroy one or more friendships. But I

888
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 4: also don't want Emily to waste any more of her

889
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 4: time when having kids is such a big deal to her.

890
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 3: What the heck do I do?

891
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 4: Edit one, Thanks for the advice everyone. He's decided on

892
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 4: a course of action, But I want your guys' thoughts.

893
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 3: What do you think he should do in this situation?

894
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 3: Should he should he? Should he do?

895
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 2: Yeah?

896
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 4: Should he tell Emily directly?

897
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 3: Tell? I think? I think he tells the friend, tell

898
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 3: your wife or I will?

899
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,720
Speaker 8: Yeah? I think so give him the chance to come clean,

900
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 8: give him a deadline and be like and then I'm

901
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 8: telling him that.

902
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 4: I can't stay silent about it because he's definitely not

903
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 4: gonna tell her.

904
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, this has been a thing that has been going

905
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 3: on for years that he didn't even want kids. Yeah,

906
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 3: it's been a thing.

907
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 8: And she's gonna sit there so upset at herself, blaming

908
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 8: herself for no fault of her own rights.

909
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 4: And also too, it's like that's not even going to

910
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 4: work in the long run too, because there are other

911
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 4: options to getting kids, So she's going to push for

912
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 4: for other options.

913
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 3: You're just wasting her time, right, And.

914
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 4: He said that he wants to stretch this out, the

915
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 4: testing thing out for another year or two.

916
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 3: It's like, dude, this is so unfair.

917
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 8: I fully also don't believe the whole like and I

918
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 8: think she was like purposely not taking her birth.

919
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,959
Speaker 3: She said he couldn't find any evidence.

920
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 8: Of it's the week, if it's the one I'm thinking of,

921
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 8: if it's the daily pill one, it's you know, what

922
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 8: day does it say on the top? Has she taken

923
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 8: it today? How bad of tracking are we doing for this?

924
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 8: And why didn't we just have a conversation then and there?

925
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also the fact that he thought that and

926
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: then didn't have a conversation with her, Ya don't.

927
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 4: And like sure you could just like throw it away,

928
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 4: I guess, but like, why why are we jumping there?

929
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 3: Yea? And if she is doing it awful too? Not okay, However,

930
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 3: the assumption that he's making and then to not even

931
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 3: have a conversation with your partner and instead like have

932
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 3: like a like a spiteful decision made off of an assumption.

933
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, we do have, and that it. I think

934
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 4: I've decided on a course of action. I am meeting

935
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 4: up with Kevin for drinks in an hour or so.

936
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 4: I'm going to give him this ultimatum. Either he tells

937
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 4: Emily within three days or I will. I'm also going

938
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 4: to tell my wife after my meeting with Kevin, because

939
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 4: I can't keep something like this from her and live

940
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: with myself. I will try to get her to sit

941
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 4: on the information as long as possible, but if she

942
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 4: tells Emily, then I can't fault her for doing what

943
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 4: is probably the right thing. I'm going to tell Kevin

944
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 4: that I'm telling my wife as soon as I get

945
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 4: home and impress upon him the strong possibility that she

946
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 4: will tell Emily before he has a chance. This will

947
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 4: give him an incentive to tell her sooner rather than later.

948
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 4: Update just left from talking with Kevin. I took the

949
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 4: exact approach outlined to my first edit, and it went

950
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 4: as well as one could hope. He was understanding and

951
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 4: apologized for putting me in this situation. He understood my

952
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 4: need to tell my wife and said that he wished

953
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,919
Speaker 4: he had taken that approach in his own marriage. He

954
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 4: realizes he needs to tell Emily and that the marriage

955
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 4: is likely over. After some reflection, he thinks this is

956
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 4: probably for the best because she will never trust him

957
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:47,880
Speaker 4: again and he really doesn't want kids.

958
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 3: He's going to.

959
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 4: Sit down and talk with her tomorrow afternoon. And there

960
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 4: is a second update. Just finish talking with my wife.

961
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 4: Holy f I have one heck of an update soon.

962
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 4: I don't have time to write it out right now

963
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 4: because I need to go to sleep. I'm pretty drained

964
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 4: from all this. I'll update this sometime tomorrow. Update three,

965
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 4: So a lot has happened since last night.

966
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 3: Holy heck.

967
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 4: First off, Emily isn't pregnant as far as anyone knows,

968
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 4: So sorry. If you were hoping for that.

969
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 3: I was not hoping. I wouldn't even thought. I think,

970
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 3: really don't want this woman to be pregnant with a

971
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 3: husband that doesn't want kids. Yeah.

972
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I'll try to write what happened chronologically so it

973
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 4: makes more sense. Here we go, So I told my

974
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 4: wife everything last night after I got home from meeting

975
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 4: with Kevin. As you might expect, she was absolutely floored

976
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 4: that he would do this to her, given how much

977
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 4: she wants kids. She didn't take it as bad as

978
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 4: I thought she would, though, which was weird.

979
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 3: At the time.

980
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 4: I really thought her reaction was going to be to

981
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 4: say that we need to tell Emily, immediately drive over

982
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 4: to their house in a blinding rage, et cetera. Instead,

983
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 4: she told me that she had something to tell me,

984
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 4: that she had been keeping a secret for a long while.

985
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 3: What.

986
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

987
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 3: Okay, now I'm feeling like she was. Now I'm worried.

988
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 3: Now I'm worrying about the birth control.

989
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 4: Well maybe, and she's excited. I'm excited now I'm thinking maybe.

990
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just get find out. Okay.

991
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 4: Evidently, a little over a year ago, Emily and my

992
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 4: wife were discussing Kevin and Emily's attempts at conceiving. It

993
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 4: wasn't unusual for them to talk about this, since at

994
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 4: that point they had been trying for over a year.

995
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,399
Speaker 4: On this night, though, Emily had had quite a bit

996
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 4: to drink and opened up to my wife more than usual.

997
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 4: Emily it was desperate to start going to the fertility doctor,

998
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 4: but Kevin wanted to wait because they hadn't been trying

999
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,720
Speaker 4: very long. Unless I misunderstood him, Kevin seemed to imply

1000
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 4: that Emily had only recently started suggesting to go to

1001
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 4: a fertility doctor. But nope, she has been telling him

1002
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 4: that she wanted to go for over a year. My

1003
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 4: wife asked her why she wanted to go so soon

1004
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 4: since they hadn't been trying that long. Emily told her

1005
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:59,399
Speaker 4: that she had been trying for nearly four years. Oh

1006
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 4: whoa what the f Emily stopped taking her birth control

1007
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 4: while Evan Well, Kevin was still at his old job

1008
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 4: before he ever started looking for a new one.

1009
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 3: You were right, you're a couple.

1010
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 4: I'm so sad she's been cheating on him and like

1011
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 4: she once out of the relationship anyway. Yeah yeah, yikes, yikes.

1012
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 3: That so he was right.

1013
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 8: Sounds like you both have some big confessions to make.

1014
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:35,399
Speaker 3: Sounds like you should probably break up yea too. Oh

1015
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 3: my god.

1016
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 4: She pretended to take her pills, hoping that she would

1017
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 4: get pregnant and she could blame it on the fact

1018
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,240
Speaker 4: that birth control isn't one hundred effective. She stopped taking

1019
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 4: her pills around six months before Kevin started looking for

1020
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 4: a job. This is the same time at which she

1021
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 4: started pressuring Kevin to move on from that job. So

1022
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 4: Kevin agrees that it's time to leave this job. He

1023
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 4: starts talking with headhunters, gently approaching his current clients, et cetera.

1024
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 4: They have the above mentioned talk about going ahead and

1025
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 4: trying to conceive. Kevin says no, and she agrees to wait.

1026
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 4: The reason she brought it up on that particular day

1027
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 4: is that she thought she might be getting close to

1028
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 4: getting pregnant, given that her period was irregular and she

1029
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 4: had been trying for six months. About a week and

1030
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 4: a half later, Kevin is out of state for work.

1031
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 4: He is gone from Sunday night and is supposed to

1032
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 4: return late on Friday. Emily had been hoping to surprise

1033
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 4: him with the good news when he returned, but it

1034
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 4: didn't work out the way she planned. She calls my

1035
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 4: wife during this time and clearly upset about something. My

1036
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 4: wife goes over to her house to comfort her. So

1037
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 4: Emily is obviously frustrated about this, but manages to get

1038
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 4: herself together by the time Kevin comes back. She doesn't

1039
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 4: say anything about her disappointment, but immediately redoubles her efforts

1040
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 4: to conceive. My guess is that this would be the

1041
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 4: time where Kevin becomes suspicious about her behavior. He was

1042
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 4: right that she wasn't taking her birth control, and he

1043
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 4: became more aware of her desperation during this period. As

1044
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 4: far as anyone knows, Emily ever got pregnant between this

1045
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 4: time and when Kevin had the psectomy. During a routine visit,

1046
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 4: Emily asked her obigyn if there were any problems conceiving,

1047
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 4: and her mentioned concerns about timing and family history.

1048
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 3: The obgyn identified something with.

1049
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 4: Her uterus that could possibly cause an issue, but said

1050
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 4: she couldn't be sure from a routine exam. She suggested

1051
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: that Emily see a fertility specialist and gave her a referral.

1052
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 3: Evidently the obie loves that word.

1053
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 4: Evidently this specialist wanted to do the first consultation with

1054
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 4: both Kevin and Emily there, so Emily couldn't start that

1055
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 4: process until Kevin was on board with conceiving. So that's

1056
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 4: the state of things. Emily was lying to Kevin about

1057
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 4: being on birth control for at least one and a

1058
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 4: half years. My wife never told me because she wasn't

1059
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 4: sure what to do since they had officially started trying

1060
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 4: to have children by the time Emily told her about

1061
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 4: all this. My wife decided to keep the information to

1062
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 4: herself because it didn't matter at that point.

1063
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 3: Anyway.

1064
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 4: I called Kevin and told him about this late last night.

1065
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 4: He wasn't as upset as I I thought he would

1066
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 4: be because he already figured that Emily had stopped taking

1067
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,439
Speaker 4: her birth control back then, although it was actually six

1068
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:08,919
Speaker 4: months before he caught on. He was pretty upset about

1069
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,240
Speaker 4: the mists and felt really bad that Emily had keytis

1070
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,720
Speaker 4: to herself for all these years. As of right now,

1071
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,479
Speaker 4: he hasn't talked to her yet. That will happen later

1072
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 4: this afternoon or tonight. Is a little bit more to

1073
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: the story.

1074
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 7: But wow, duding Man oh Man, well read it to.

1075
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 7: The situation has resolved itself. Kevin and Emily talked for

1076
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 7: a long time yesterday and they've agreed that it's best

1077
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 7: for them to split up. Too much damage done and

1078
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 7: the lies they told each other were too big. Not

1079
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 7: to mention the kid's issue. I wasn't there, obviously, but

1080
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 7: I've talked to them both. They seem better than I expected.

1081
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 7: Both of them are really angry, but as much as

1082
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 7: directed at themselves as each other. Strangely enough, they were

1083
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 7: both really glad for my involvement.

1084
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 4: So funny, Emily wasn't even pissed at my wife for

1085
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 4: telling me about the birth control situation. I have no

1086
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 4: idea whether my wife and I have will be able

1087
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 4: to remain friends with either of them.

1088
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to. Yeah, I feel like that's over.

1089
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, they were both really deceitful to each other and

1090
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 4: to us, but I think I'm willing to move past

1091
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 4: that eventually. We'll see how this goes. Thanks to everyone

1092
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 4: who commented. I don't think I would have approached the

1093
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 4: situation correctly were it not for some of the responses

1094
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 4: that I got.

1095
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 3: Here and that's the end of that story.

1096
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 4: Wow, dude, wow, twist there.

1097
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, my goodness. It's like they both realized that they

1098
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 3: were terrible people and they were like, yeah, I guess

1099
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 3: this is a draw to shade.

1100
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

1101
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 3: Wow.

1102
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 8: I do still hope that they break up, though, because

1103
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 8: ultimately we still doesn't want and.

1104
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 3: She still does. Yeah, please break up.

1105
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, that is just so, we're just so

1106
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 4: crazy because like, obviously they're both in the wrong and

1107
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 4: they should have communicated this whole time.

1108
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,280
Speaker 2: But like he was right.

1109
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 4: Crazy. Yeah, what he should have done is talk to

1110
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 4: her about the birth control thing.

1111
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 3: Probably would have saved them a lot of time.

1112
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 4: Right with silver lining, he was like he was protected

1113
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 4: with his society. But obviously it's still not a good

1114
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 4: thing to do.

1115
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 3: No, I wish that he had talked her right then

1116
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 3: and there.

1117
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 8: Ultimately, though, I'm like, dude, you started this whole thing

1118
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 8: by not figuring out what the heck you wanted this

1119
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:21,399
Speaker 8: whole time.

1120
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been bringing this poor.

1121
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 3: Girl into a marriage with you when you know you

1122
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 3: don't want kids. You brought the aholes. Yeah, good job,

1123
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 3: okay job.

1124
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, that's the end of that story.

1125
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 2: He's John yog host here. We're gonna get back to

1126
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 2: the stories. But he's a quick three minute break of

1127
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 2: asmim our sponsors.

1128
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 5: My father sabotage my food and now it ruined my

1129
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 5: dream education.

1130
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 6: Now that's gonna leave somebody very angry.

1131
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 5: Nice. There is a trigger warning. It is for food tampering.

1132
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 5: I twenty five mail got into this dream Masters by

1133
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 5: my own effort in April despite my health issues. The

1134
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,840
Speaker 5: tuition for this program is actually very minimal, which is

1135
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 5: rare for an Internet master's program. I told everyone close

1136
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 5: to me, starting with my parents, elder brother, friends, close relatives,

1137
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 5: on an uncle, and some professors from my bachelor's By

1138
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from user nef tes twenty and

1139
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1140
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 5: the r slash Okay story time suppared it.

1141
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 6: I'm ke On, I'm Matt.

1142
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 5: We'll try to give our best advice, but we haven't

1143
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 5: experience with most of these situations ourselves, so if you have,

1144
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 5: let us stone the comments, op says. My dad sixty Mail,

1145
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 5: was initially open to meet going there, but changed his

1146
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 5: decision soon after talking to my brother. He told me

1147
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 5: how likely he would not be able to sponsor my masters.

1148
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 5: So I applied to a scholarship and was falling up

1149
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 5: on it. I also applied for an education loan. My

1150
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 5: elder brother, thirty Mail, was totally against it, saying he

1151
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 5: didn't like it and even asked are you going to

1152
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:51,879
Speaker 5: beg in that country? After doing this degree? My mom

1153
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 5: and relatives on her side granny, aunt uncle, were overjoyed

1154
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:57,840
Speaker 5: and love that I was able to get into this

1155
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 5: masters My professors and other professionals in my field told

1156
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 5: me it was a great opportunity that would benefit my career.

1157
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 5: I was working through all the administrare process by myself

1158
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,919
Speaker 5: until today. My mom and relatives provided moral support during

1159
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 5: this time and also tried to explain to my dad

1160
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 5: and brother this was a good opportunity for me. Yesterday,

1161
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 5: my brother showed up unannounced at our home and made

1162
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 5: my mom stay at my granny's house, saying that he

1163
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:28,399
Speaker 5: and my dad wanted to talk to me alone. They

1164
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 5: told me I was wrong to inform my close relatives

1165
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 5: about this master's and demanded me to update them on

1166
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 5: the process. I told them everything, including the education loan

1167
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 5: and scholarship I I had applied for. They started nitpicking

1168
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 5: the course details, trying to find any fault in the program,

1169
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 5: but everything was well detailed and had no issue. Then

1170
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 5: then they told me whatever I had done was useless

1171
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 5: and that I had achieved nothing in the past two months.

1172
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 5: Talk about supportive relatives. There, They said I would not

1173
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 5: realistically get the scholarship or loan, and that they had

1174
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 5: no money to spare for my studies. They made it

1175
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 5: clear they would not help in any process further, but

1176
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 5: still wanted daily updates. They also demanded they demanded that

1177
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,439
Speaker 5: I forward all the emails I received from the loan,

1178
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 5: scholarship or university to both of them. Instead, they wanted

1179
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 5: me to do a master's in this state in the

1180
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 5: next cycle or year. They told me to stop living

1181
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 5: in a dream and accuse me of being selfish for

1182
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 5: not thinking of the family. So am I the a

1183
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 5: hole for not giving updates or not letting them interfere

1184
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,839
Speaker 5: in the process after this incident and we have there's

1185
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 5: some context here, But Matt, what do you think is

1186
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 5: op an a hole for not trying to you know,

1187
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 5: not letting them, you know, be involved in the updates

1188
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,399
Speaker 5: after all of this. If you were told, hey, we're

1189
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 5: not going to support your dreams, don't we don't like

1190
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,879
Speaker 5: what you're doing. But keep us in the loop and

1191
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 5: make sure you forward everything that you get for your

1192
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 5: information or any information on your math loans you have

1193
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:02,839
Speaker 5: afforded to us.

1194
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 6: I'm gonna give my answer in Spanish.

1195
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 5: No oh oh, he's multilingual.

1196
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 6: Look at us. We're two Filipino boys.

1197
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:15,320
Speaker 9: You can't really but we do know that at least

1198
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 9: there's something weird going with this family, that there's something

1199
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 9: we do know.

1200
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and here's some context. So if he says, for context,

1201
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 5: I was lucky to have completed my bachelor's with almost

1202
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 5: full scholarship, with only minor expenses covered by my dad.

1203
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 5: I had to move back to my parents' place, and

1204
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 5: the money I saved was spent on recent medical expenses.

1205
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 5: I made it very clear that I wanted to do

1206
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:42,320
Speaker 5: my masters in this field. The program I got into

1207
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 5: is not available anywhere nearby, not even not even in

1208
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,919
Speaker 5: neighboring states. Side note, there's also a separate and very

1209
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 5: serious situation happening at home that made me feel unsafe.

1210
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 5: I've made a separate post about that, so I won't

1211
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 5: go into it. We have an update, let's just go

1212
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 5: into it. Update one my dad's asteamail is adding something

1213
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 5: to my food that makes me twenty five male sick.

1214
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 9: WHOA that is criminal, that is also unconscionable. That's also

1215
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 9: your family.

1216
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 5: Called the cops. Ope. He says, I had been suffering

1217
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:21,439
Speaker 5: from bloating and vomiting since December of twenty twenty four,

1218
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 5: after four months of consulting five different physicians, including a

1219
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 5: gastro three and an oscopies okay, and ooscopies and multiple tests.

1220
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 5: They diagnosed me with crones whoa with a structure at

1221
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 5: the junction of the duodenum or duodenim Yeah, wadenum, I

1222
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 5: think wadenam.

1223
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 6: Thing doodenum towadenum.

1224
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 9: It's the same thing.

1225
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 5: It's dadenum and the jujutum. I know the jujunum. Okay. Interesting,

1226
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,320
Speaker 5: there's a lot of lingo out there for our medical

1227
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 5: field people. You probably know this for a non You

1228
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:55,839
Speaker 5: may want to look this up.

1229
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 6: I might be Filipino, but I'm not a nurse.

1230
00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 5: We're not nurses. Oh man, that's a first. Two Filipinos

1231
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:03,359
Speaker 5: in her room.

1232
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 6: Neither was a nurse.

1233
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's okay. After the diagnosis, I found that I

1234
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 5: had become intolerant to rice and potatoes. My mom and

1235
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 5: grandmother understood the disease after I explained it, but my

1236
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 5: dad's opinion was that it was not a disease and said,

1237
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 5: it's all because you ate a lot of lemons. Three

1238
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 5: years ago, after completing the meds and avoiding the trigger foods,

1239
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 5: I went back into remission. Into remission. Around two weeks back.

1240
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 5: I had a flare up that kept worsening every day.

1241
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 5: My mom and I saw my dad adding something like

1242
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 5: powder to the milk before I drank it. There was

1243
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 5: no taste or odor change in the milk. We also

1244
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 5: suspected he was adding something to the salt and sugar

1245
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 5: in the kitchen, so I stayed at my granny's place

1246
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 5: for a few days. During that time, I had no symptoms,

1247
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 5: no pain, no bloating. Meanwhile, my mom threw away anything

1248
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 5: and everything that was suspicious and bought everything new. When

1249
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 5: I returned home, we were careful in locking everything in

1250
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 5: the kitchen and ensuring only we had access. After doing this,

1251
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 5: I felt better, though we saw my dad trying to

1252
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,919
Speaker 5: pry open the things we locked. There were also two

1253
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 5: things that bothered me during this time that may or

1254
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 5: may not be related. One of those was, just two

1255
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 5: days before my flare up, I informed my dad and

1256
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 5: brother that I had been selected for a masters in Europe.

1257
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 5: They hated that idea. When I said I would go,

1258
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,200
Speaker 5: my dad replied with something unexpected may happen and your

1259
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 5: plan may fail.

1260
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 6: Oh that's that's a Threatify our heard one.

1261
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 5: Okay, And here's the second point that may or may

1262
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 5: not be related to what everything that's Oh he's dealing with?

1263
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 6: Oh? Good lord.

1264
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 5: Before this flare up, my dad was again doing something

1265
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 5: in the kitchen. He never usually uses the kitchen. Later,

1266
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 5: when I took a sip of milk, there was a

1267
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 5: strong taste of rust. I threw it out and didn't

1268
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 5: think much of it. I asked about this issue in

1269
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 5: our slash cro Disease around ten days ago and intended

1270
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 5: to post it here too, but I couldn't here. What

1271
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 5: happened after that, I forgot to lock a jar of

1272
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 5: cookies inside the cabinet, I ate them. I ate them

1273
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 5: the next day, and I got sick again. My Mom's

1274
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 5: coffee tasted weird multiple times, and she also got sick

1275
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 5: after drinking it. My dad broke into the locked kitchen,

1276
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:19,400
Speaker 5: cabinet and the refrigerator. Because of that, we replaced everything

1277
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 5: and shifted food to my granny's house. Since then, my

1278
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 5: mom and I have been traveling to my granny's house

1279
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 5: for every meal. The fact that you have to go

1280
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 5: somewhere to just eat food is insane. I'm sorry, that's insane.

1281
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 5: He also states we also suspect my brother knows about this,

1282
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 5: but chose to ignore it as he avoids eating anything

1283
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:44,720
Speaker 5: at home. Cops, Cops. Now I'm calling the cops. We

1284
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 5: are taking careful steps to confirm these I feel very

1285
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 5: unsafe and emotionally drained, but I just want to make

1286
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 5: sure I'm not losing perspective. And we're onto a second update.

1287
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 5: I mean, you've done it. You've been doing it, Opie.

1288
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 5: You and your mom get out of that house, stay

1289
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 5: at your granny's house. You do not let your your

1290
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 5: father or your brother into that house whatsoever. Buy a

1291
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 5: new food, put it there.

1292
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 9: No, here's what you do because you're suspecting it. Now

1293
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 9: you can't prove it, but you're suspecting it. What you

1294
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 9: do is you buy food right and you leave it out.

1295
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 9: You let your dad do his thing. You do it

1296
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 9: for a couple of different things, and you get them tested.

1297
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 9: You get them tested to see what's been put in them.

1298
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 9: There are certain things that shouldn't have rice and potatoes

1299
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 9: in them. Milk should not have potatoes in it, cookies

1300
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 9: should not have potatoes in it. A lot of things

1301
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:38,920
Speaker 9: don't have rice and potatoes in them. So you slowly

1302
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 9: you kind of have foods out. You get them testing.

1303
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 9: You see if there's a common thing in there, and.

1304
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 5: If testing is too hard or it takes too long,

1305
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 5: here's what I would do. M Hey, dad, hey brother,

1306
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 5: I cooked dinner. Would you like to try some with

1307
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 5: the ingredients that we have here? I cook you guys

1308
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 5: some food because I love you guys so much. Would

1309
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 5: you like eating this? Or here's a cookie? Here, Dad,

1310
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 5: I've got some cookies. You wanna eat this?

1311
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 8: Oh?

1312
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 5: No, I'm watching my I'm watching my sugar intake. Okay,

1313
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 5: test it again. Here's another cookie, another another, like, come on,

1314
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 5: just take a bite. If they're if they're adamantly just

1315
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 5: refusing the food, He's like, no, no, no, you should eat it.

1316
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1317
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 5: Well we have an update too. Let's get into it.

1318
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 5: My relatives said I shouldn't meet my dad to secure

1319
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:27,120
Speaker 5: my inheritance. It's legally mine because it could help me

1320
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 5: in the future. My brother is pestering my mom to

1321
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 5: convince me not to talk to him. I wonder why

1322
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 5: my mom and I relocated without telling my dad or brother.

1323
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 5: I cut off all calls and messages from them. We

1324
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 5: couldn't gather much evidence except for okay, so you could

1325
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 5: you did gather evidence because we have some bullet points

1326
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:51,880
Speaker 5: One a white powder in our plates. Two a microphone

1327
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 5: hidden under my mom's dresser.

1328
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 6: What this is worse than I thought.

1329
01:01:56,720 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 9: This is insane, This is literal, This is pair annoy

1330
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 9: of This is spy. This is invasion of privacy. This

1331
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 9: feels disgusting and criminal, depending on what state you're in.

1332
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 5: On the day we moved, I drank water at our house.

1333
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 5: Two days later I had bleeding from my nose and mouth.

1334
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 5: The blood tests showed that both my mom and I.

1335
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 5: Both my mom and I had elevated almost identical levels

1336
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 5: of austronium and vanadium. Our family doctor said the bleeding

1337
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 5: wasn't from those metals, but likely from an anti coagulant

1338
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 5: toxic possibly rat poison.

1339
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 9: Oh okay, now there we have a crime.

1340
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 5: Yeah. I moved between friends places to recover and took

1341
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 5: the antidote. Since I moved, my scholarship and education loan

1342
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 5: were both canceled, almost certainly through my dad's influence. My

1343
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 5: mom gave me her savings, which will nearly cover my degree.

1344
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 5: My dad has been telling relatives he's sad I'm not

1345
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 5: talking to him. My aunt and uncle on my mom's side,

1346
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 5: who know the truth. Confronted him. He admitted the poisoning,

1347
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 5: but claimed it wasn't meant for me. They also asked

1348
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 5: why he wasn't financing my masters. He said he felt

1349
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 5: guilty and would fund it if I talked to him.

1350
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 5: Now he's calling and texting me. I want to see

1351
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 5: you or talk finally understand my position. If not, you

1352
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 5: cannot see any more later. I will never forgive my dad,

1353
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 5: but the inheritance is significant and could make a huge

1354
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 5: difference in my life. I've spoken to lawyers and the police,

1355
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 5: but my dad has ways of avoiding legal trouble. Do

1356
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 5: I talk to him, get my inheritance and then cut

1357
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 5: contact or is that too dangerous and we have a

1358
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 5: third update?

1359
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 9: See I was gonna say, have the bastard jailed if

1360
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 9: he but he he can avoid legal I mean, he's

1361
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 9: already admitted to poisoning. You have the testimony of the

1362
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 9: mother and the and other.

1363
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:55,120
Speaker 5: Family save those texts. I would say, meet your dad.

1364
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:59,120
Speaker 9: If the dad was comfortable enough to record, I would

1365
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 9: go there and record in confront and use that as evidence.

1366
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 6: But I would either.

1367
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 9: I mean, yes, the inheritance is it would be nice,

1368
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 9: but like this guy's tried to and almost potentially killed you.

1369
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, if there's there's there can't be inheritance if you're

1370
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 5: no longer alive. Right, If you do meet up with

1371
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 5: your father op and you probably will get this, get

1372
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,720
Speaker 5: into that in the third update. But if you do,

1373
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,120
Speaker 5: or if you want to in the future, have bystanders

1374
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 5: and like your aunts, your uncles, your mom, people there

1375
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 5: they're like back the police, you're a lawyer. Anybody who

1376
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,400
Speaker 5: can be there to just witness what you guys talk about.

1377
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 5: Write it down so you can they can bear witness. Like, oh, yes,

1378
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 5: his father said this, he said this. We have a

1379
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 5: third update. This is this is a crazy story. Update three.

1380
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 5: I was considering talking to him over a voice call.

1381
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 5: I was never planning to meet him in person, especially

1382
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 5: since I'm in a different state, far far away from him.

1383
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 5: In the week following that post, I explained to my

1384
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 5: close family why I can't and won't ever meet him

1385
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 5: in person. The comments here really helped me get my

1386
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 5: point across. We agree that he ever pesters my aunt's

1387
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,720
Speaker 5: family again, they'll call me and I'll tell him directly

1388
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 5: that he poisoned me. Then cut the call. Not long after,

1389
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 5: my dad home man called my brother Brat okay, and

1390
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 5: cried that he was wronged. Brat then traveled to my

1391
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 5: city and spent two days arguing with my mom, my granny,

1392
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 5: and my aunt's family. He made the whole situation about himself,

1393
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 5: saying he would have helped me if he had known,

1394
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 5: and accusing us of isolating him.

1395
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 9: No, that's a lie, because you're the one who brought

1396
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 9: up to the dad that he shouldn't fund your your

1397
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,520
Speaker 9: master's degree and said it was a bad idea. You're

1398
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 9: just after the brother is strictly after the inheritance.

1399
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 5: Yes, at this point, just take notes. Just just make

1400
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 5: sure you have you either hear, you have recordings or

1401
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,880
Speaker 5: if you say if this is through text or anything,

1402
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:52,680
Speaker 5: save them and get ready to document it for something

1403
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 5: that's gonna be a hefty, hefty lawsuit.

1404
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 6: My other thing is.

1405
01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 9: Like, there's got to be a way to like talk

1406
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 9: to that financial department or talk to that school that hey,

1407
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 9: this is what happened to me. I was poisoned by

1408
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 9: my father. That's what prevented me from doing this degree.

1409
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 9: Is there another way I can apply for the scholarship

1410
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,040
Speaker 9: or to get some other aid or get back into

1411
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 9: whatever it was?

1412
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 5: Yeah? Oh boy, my brother even went so far as

1413
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 5: to say the doctors don't know anything about poison, claiming

1414
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 5: they were exaggerating because they probably didn't study properly in

1415
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 5: med school. He also tried to see the evidence, but

1416
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 5: my family told him that everything was with me. Uh,

1417
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 5: there's a little bit left, but I'm not gonna lie.

1418
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 5: This is one of the most insane stories I've ever read.

1419
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:38,480
Speaker 5: Slash heard.

1420
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 9: We've gone we would do some really weird insane ones here,

1421
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 9: but this one, this one's crazy. Like rat poison in

1422
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 9: your food over a master's program that Ope like applied

1423
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:53,400
Speaker 9: for scholarships themselves.

1424
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:55,760
Speaker 5: Really that he again op, He was like, I'm not

1425
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 5: going to depend on you financially. I don't like it's fine,

1426
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 5: I'll do a loan. I'm not gonna asked you about money.

1427
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 5: Even to that point was let me, dad's gonna poison

1428
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:05,440
Speaker 5: my food.

1429
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 9: I've heard of evil parents before, like I know of

1430
01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 9: stories of people very close to me and friends that

1431
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 9: I've had who have had very evil parents.

1432
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 6: This is this ranks up there among them.

1433
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 9: Where when whenever the parent is hm hmm inflicting bodily

1434
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:31,200
Speaker 9: harm upon you and admitting to it and is acting

1435
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,360
Speaker 9: out of jealousy like that puts you towards the.

1436
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 6: Top of this list.

1437
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 9: I think there's only a couple people who I know

1438
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:38,040
Speaker 9: who have parents worse than this.

1439
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 5: But this, that's hard to top that.

1440
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:41,479
Speaker 7: Mm hmm.

1441
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:45,560
Speaker 5: Let's go ahead and finish this insane story. Both Homan

1442
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:48,320
Speaker 5: and Bratt kept trying different ways to make me come

1443
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 5: home as planned. My uncle called me and I calmly

1444
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 5: told my father that he poisoned me, and then I

1445
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 5: got the call. I refuse to talk to my brother.

1446
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 5: My father pretended nothing had happened until I said those

1447
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 5: exact words, and then immediately switched to claiming I dironfully

1448
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 5: accused him of poisoning me. He also said he wouldn't

1449
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:11,760
Speaker 5: give me my inheritance at this point, seriously, at this point,

1450
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 5: I know it sucks. Screw the inheritance, Bye people, Bye

1451
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 5: bye so called dad and brother not worth it.

1452
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 9: That's what the dad was holding on to. That's his

1453
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 9: power card, the inheritance. You take that away. He's literally

1454
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 9: got nothing on you. That's what he's trying to use

1455
01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:28,760
Speaker 9: to get you. Let Why does he want you back

1456
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:29,599
Speaker 9: is so badly?

1457
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:30,320
Speaker 6: Is my question.

1458
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:33,520
Speaker 9: He obviously felt comfortable enough to poison you and potentially

1459
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:38,160
Speaker 9: kill you, ruin your education. What do you have that

1460
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:41,439
Speaker 9: he wants? Why is it just like an image of

1461
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:43,400
Speaker 9: the family thing. Is it one of those cultural things

1462
01:08:43,439 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 9: where the family has to be perfect otherwise you're judged

1463
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:46,919
Speaker 9: in the community.

1464
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,120
Speaker 6: Because that's the only.

1465
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 9: Possible reason I could think why he would want you

1466
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,479
Speaker 9: to come back. Or maybe it's because if as long

1467
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,840
Speaker 9: as you're gone, then also the wife is gone, and

1468
01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 9: then again it makes the family look like a failure,

1469
01:08:57,360 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 9: makes him look weak.

1470
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 5: I would the only thing I would be like, you

1471
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:03,719
Speaker 5: know what, I don't need your inheritance, but mom does

1472
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,680
Speaker 5: because she used her savings for me because of what

1473
01:09:06,720 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 5: you were doing. So maybe changed that. I don't know.

1474
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:14,559
Speaker 5: That's insane. But again continuing the story, the next day

1475
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:16,640
Speaker 5: he changed the locks of the house we lived in

1476
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:20,120
Speaker 5: we lived in before, but my uncle managed to get

1477
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,880
Speaker 5: some of our things out. My father has since been

1478
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 5: telling multiple people to try to convince me to come home,

1479
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,200
Speaker 5: but I didn't falter. My brother has gone silent and

1480
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:33,120
Speaker 5: returned to his city. This is just a summary, but

1481
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 5: I want to thank you all again for the sport.

1482
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,280
Speaker 5: It really helped me stay grounded and alive.

1483
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:40,360
Speaker 2: That is the end.

1484
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 5: Of that story. Holy canoli, Op, stay, You're so smart

1485
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:51,280
Speaker 5: for staying away from your father. Yeah, why does he

1486
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:52,640
Speaker 5: want you to come home? I mean, we all know

1487
01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:54,760
Speaker 5: why he really wants to come home so badly. But

1488
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:56,519
Speaker 5: what's a voice call? You know, what's a phone call?

1489
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:59,080
Speaker 5: M gonna do at the end of the day, Op,

1490
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,000
Speaker 5: see if you can contact someone at the college at

1491
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,960
Speaker 5: the university for your masters. You'd be like, I never

1492
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 5: approved any of that. It may be difficult, but you're like,

1493
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,280
Speaker 5: my dad does not speak for me, my brother does

1494
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 5: not speak for me. It's I speak for myself. I

1495
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:17,840
Speaker 5: want to do this masters. I want to see if please,

1496
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:20,240
Speaker 5: please see that you can do something along those lines,

1497
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:25,439
Speaker 5: cut contact with both your brother and your father and

1498
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:28,519
Speaker 5: just live live as far as possible away from these people.

1499
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:29,360
Speaker 7: Wow.

1500
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:32,120
Speaker 5: Wow, I really hope you can go to Europe and

1501
01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:35,120
Speaker 5: do what you want to do, especially for that intense program.

1502
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:39,040
Speaker 9: These people aren't your family. They are people you just

1503
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:43,080
Speaker 9: happened to live with for however many years of your

1504
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:44,519
Speaker 9: life because family doesn't do that.

1505
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:45,840
Speaker 6: No to not each other.