WEBVTT - The Playbook: Post-Wedding Blues 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:09.879 Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:13.680 home office in Austin, Texas. And look, we're still basking 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.160 in the glow as we have passed the one month 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:18.160 mark of our wedding and our marriage. 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:22.799 One month of NAPA, one week I think since Austin 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:26.240 maybe eight days. We really had a month of marriage. 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:29.240 There was so we've covered this before, but so we 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:33.000 had two weddings. There was one in NAPA on October fourteenth. 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.879 We did a huge blowout cowboy chic party here in 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.879 Austin November fourth somebody asked, hey, what are you all 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:42.879 going to do about your anniversary? When are you going 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.040 to celebrate your anniversary? And luckily we both looked at 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:47.320 each other. You know, when did you ever do this 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.160 with your spouse And you say what are you thinking? One? Two, three? 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:52.879 And you say what you were thinking? We did that 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.800 basically with our anniversary. And we both said the same thing. NAPA, 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:58.600 October fourteenth. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.880 You know, we didn't discuss the re Why is that 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:02.360 the anniversary for you? 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:10.080 I cried the most because it was the first time 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:12.080 we set our vows, the first time we really said 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:17.840 I do. That was all of our you know, mom's dad, 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:22.600 my dad was there, brothers, sisters, all, so totally Yeah, 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:24.320 it was just everybody was there. 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.959 It was uh, it was the emotion that we wanted. 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:28.920 It was the intimacy also. 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:32.240 The anticipation, the build up of the walking down the 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:34.800 aisle moment, and we hadn't heard the vows before. 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.240 Yeah to me. Also, it'll feel weird to just it'll 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:40.840 be like a stop sign. I'm blowing through a stop sign. 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:41.200 I know. 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:43.520 We got married on October fourteenth. We're just going to 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:45.880 pass go not collect two hundred dollars and go to 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:47.720 November fourth. I would miss it. 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:53.080 Anyone else is dumb. But logistically, yeah, my birthdays November thirty, 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:57.160 Thanksgiving is the twenty score. There's too many things well truly, 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:59.760 you know what. We struggled with that with our date 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:03.040 and aniversary because we went on our first date two 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.760 days after this is birthday, and so for a long 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:09.079 time in our dating life, we literally moved. We started saying, 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:13.560 let's celebrate our dating anniversary. Let's just pick another time 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:17.080 and make it later than it because it's we couldn't 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.240 do your birthday and then have our anniversary two days later. 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:20.720 You got to space this stuff out. 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.440 And I can bring something up dark. It was my 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.919 first marriage. That was November twentieth. 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:27.880 Oh, I did not know that, and it was right. 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.919 I'm learning that for the first time. I had no idea. 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:31.200 You got married on November twenty and. 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:32.200 It was Thanksgiving week. 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:34.399 Honey, Why did you get married on Thingsgiving week? 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:36.880 It was a lot of bad decisions make that we 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.760 just we had to move it up and graduate. It 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.480 was a lot. I was so young. So we did 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:44.240 it November and it was like Thanksgiving week. It's probably 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.600 because the church was available for really cheap. 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:48.720 You got to think about these things, I know. 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:53.240 So I agree logistically October fourteenth is much better. And 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:57.880 so we are over a month into this beautiful marriage 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.400 and I can tell everybody marriage is bliss. We're loving it. 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:02.480 Everything's fantastic. 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:05.720 Well, the topic that we have today, which was suggested 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.600 to us, is post wedding blues. Are they a real thing? 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:14.440 Do you have them? I do not have them at all. 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:18.919 I think in part because you know what else is working? Well, 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.919 we are. We're just not stopping. We're rolling right into 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.880 the holidays. We had Dad's begin at TCU. Thanksgiving is coming, 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:27.639 We're going to go celebrate my birthday, We're going to 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.680 have Christmas. So the celebrations just keep going. I remember 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:35.400 reading a study that people are happier, not necessarily when 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:38.800 they even have something fun presently that they're in, but 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.160 when they have something to look forward to, Like you're 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:43.480 a happier person if you're planning for a trip, or 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:47.440 planning the holidays, or planning a vacation or something. So 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.400 we just always have something to look for. 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.440 It's busy, and you know, it's funny. You also, this 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:55.560 is something that we got to pay attention to now 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.120 all of us, I don't mean us. Is you spend 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.200 a lot less time on your phone when you're you 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.000 spend a lot less time just sitting there. 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:06.040 Oh, somebody said to me, which I had not thought about. 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:09.480 It made me so happy. We've had so many great 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:12.560 compliments from people, and maybe everybody gets told this, but 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:16.440 telling us your wedding was amazing, Like everybody loved Napa 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:19.320 and I do. I feel like we got everything we 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:23.720 wanted out of both days. I truly there's a little 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:28.400 part of me that feels like like my dad was 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:30.640 making sure we had a good ad and that everything 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:33.880 went well because there was something magical about like even 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:36.000 the weather that in Napa the week before it was 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:38.160 a heat wave and then in Austin the week before 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.280 it was thirty degrees. We just got lucky with both 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.599 weekends and everything was so perfect. And by the way, 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.640 in Austin, we did not have a rain plan. I 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:48.440 did not have a rain plan. We got married at 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:52.800 Ranch Austin, this beautiful outdoor ranch. If it had been raining, 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.360 I mean, I guess we would have had to order 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.800 an emergency tent. We did not have a plan. But anyway, 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.440 we got lucky. But I also had people message me 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:07.440 that at both weddings, so we did tell people, please 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:11.160 take photos and videos if you want, but we asked 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.760 that you do not post anything. We wanted to keep 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.160 the weddings private, and then we wanted to just announce 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:20.960 everything after Austin, and many people told me, well, because 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.520 you said no posting, I wasn't like checking Instagram and 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:28.200 I wasn't on my phone during your weddings and that 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.920 made it so much more fun. And I thought that 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:32.960 was a side effect they didn't expect. But that makes 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:33.840 me so happy. 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:37.440 Yeah, there's there I'd love to know where everybody falls 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.279 on this social media. Our phones are such a big thing. Obviously, 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:42.920 you go to concerts, all you see is everybody's phones. 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.240 And a lot of the wedding photos you see people 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:47.599 like when we walked down the aisle, people are taking pictures, 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.880 which I get it, you wanted that was it all 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:50.719 realize the event. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:54.719 Nobody really did that in Napa, which was great. Austin 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:56.960 was much more of kind of a social party event, 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.440 so everyone did have their phones out. But where do 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.240 you fall on making that rule of no phones because 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.800 also people want to capture those moments, and so I 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:08.440 get it both ways of you're only going to walk 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:12.200 down that aisle, well once at each one, but you know, 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:14.839 like Colton's wedding, I remember. 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:17.440 For Colton's ceremony, they actually, I think the officient actually 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:20.800 said and everyone please put your phone down, which did 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:25.360 make it so yeah, present and wonderful, especially at the ceremony. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:27.280 I never really get that because it's like, if you're 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.280 a guest, you know, the professional photographers are taking the pictures, 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.400 like you don't need to worry about it. But yeah, 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.360 that was a good side effect of people saying because 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.599 we'd said don't post. Yes, they took pictures and videos, 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.800 but they said because we couldn't post them that night, 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.839 I wasn't on social media, which I think made it 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:47.000 really present and fun. Now, I will say, if we're 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:49.839 talking about post wedding blues, it's helped not have post 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.360 wedding blues to go through the pictures and videos. So everybody, 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.560 thank you for taking some pictures and videos and posting 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:54.960 them later. 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.080 It's amazing how refreshing it is when you go to 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.120 an event that you're not allowed to have a phone in. 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:01.880 We went to Dave Chappelle or I went to the 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:04.719 Masters at Augusta, and it's crazy that that many people 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.000 nobody has a phone, and it's so weird. It's like 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:11.400 stepping back in time now to be present and realize 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:15.000 you look around and everybody's present. You don't have the cheat, 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.960 you don't have the defense mechanism where you're just going 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.680 to go and look at something for no reason at all, 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:21.880 just because it's like a nervous tick. You have now 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:26.080 And I think for the most part the wedding was 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.520 that as well. Even though people did bring out their 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:32.080 phones in Austin, people were very present, and I love that, 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:36.120 and I don't have the blues because I have no regrets. 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.040 And I think that goes a long way, is that 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:42.480 both wedding celebrations were exactly how we intended. It's exactly 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.400 what we wanted, who we wanted. There was no drama. No, 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.280 I don't look back and go, hmm, I really wish 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.040 we hadn't invited her or him, and I wish they 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.240 hadn't done that. I wish the meal had been this 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.240 or you know, oh, you know what, we should have 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:57.760 had this. I have no regrets. I have no and 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.320 it's not saying it was so perfect that we wouldn't 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.560 have made it better. I just have no regrets. And 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.320 so when I think back on it, it's only fondness 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:08.600 and beautiful and celebratory. The only thing you and I 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:12.000 did say last night is everyone seemed to have such 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.800 a great time and just it was such a great 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:18.040 expression and release. Do we need to do it again? 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.600 Do we need to do an anniversary like every year now? 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:23.640 Do we need to throw a party on that scale? 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.160 I mean, people have very kindly said, can you get 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.240 married again? I had such a great time dancing all night. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.080 I've heard that from so many people or people after 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:32.160 NAPA said can you get married again so we can 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:36.160 all go back to NAPA together. I think I completely 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.640 agree with you the look. Part of a huge part 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:40.920 of the reason I fell in love with you is 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:43.800 because I saw early on that to you, what was 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:46.920 important in life was the people in it. And we 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:50.720 did both of these weddings prioritizing people and NAPA. We 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.720 wanted intimate time with family and friends. In Austin, we 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:56.920 wanted a big blowout party with family and friends. Emotion 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:00.440 was at the center of both. And by the way, 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:03.600 I had somebody comment on one of my posts, wow, 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:05.920 how decondent to have two weddings. If there is one 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:07.840 thing I'm going to spend money on in life, it 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.719 is the people I love. And we also worked very 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.320 hard to keep the budget low and keep two weddings 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:16.640 under the budget of one. But yeah, so I just 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:20.040 I think the people being the priority was what made 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.960 it perfect, right, Like, yeah, okay, I could look back 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:25.240 and say, oh, maybe we should have done this or this. 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:29.400 But I also realized when I was doing interviews, you 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:31.280 can go into an interview and even if it went 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:35.040 so well, you'll still look back and hindsight is, Oh, 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:38.080 maybe I wish i'd ask this question too. It's impossible 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.920 for something to be totally perfect, but it was pretty 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.120 damn near close and it was everything we wanted. So 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.360 you're right, I don't have the blues because I'm so 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.199 happy without what. You can't ask for anything more. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.000 And by the way, whoever texted that, you're right, it 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.080 was decadent. But one thing that Lauren and I have 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:56.960 always agreed on is with our finances, and this is 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.960 something huge in our marriage and our relationship. We spend 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.560 money on the same things. We like to spend money 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.880 on the same things, which is our family, our friends, 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:09.199 each other, not really ourselves. 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:10.480 We spend money on experience. 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:14.479 Yeah, neither one of us are big spenders about ourselves. 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.360 Like you're not going to go out and really buy 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.160 yourself a bag, or I'm not going to go buy 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.360 a big watch or something like. We like to do 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.280 that for each other. We like to buy wine together, 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:26.680 We like to have dinners and buy people dinners and experiences. Yeah, 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.600 experiential expenses. Those things are fine to us. And that's 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.319 why not having a wedding planer was fine. Could a 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:36.520 wedding a planer have maybe decorated, done some odds and 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.040 ends better than us. Sure, maybe, but that's not what 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.199 we want to spend money on. We don't get joy 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:44.199 from that. And if you do, great, that's just us. 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:46.280 So I guess my advice and my takeaway is we 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:50.040 went through our wedding. Any big event, make sure you're 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:53.359 spending money on what you want to experience. 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:55.120 I have to say, I think part of why we 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:59.400 don't have those post wedding blues and there's no solution. 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:01.200 That was very out there, there's no I think it 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:03.880 helped that it was our second wedding, your first wedding. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:07.760 We have such an intense culture around weddings in America 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:10.240 and how it has to be this it's the biggest 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.360 day of your life and spend all this money and 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:14.280 and I think when you first get married, when you're younger, 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:17.040 you probably factor in your parents and your family's desires 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.360 more like we've got to invite, you know, our parents' 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:21.960 business associates and all. 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.440 That fifth cousin who you've never met. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:26.600 So I think this time around, we also were just 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:28.920 a little older and wiser, and not that we didn't 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.240 factor our family in. We did, but you know, that 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:36.360 you've you're able to have those conversations and create that 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:37.560 balance a little bit more. 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.080 I don't no, one hundred percent. We were much more 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:44.000 intentional ourselves, and we didn't. And look, I think the 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.800 other thing is I didn't pay for my first wedding. 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.600 I didn't have any money, right, I was a bro 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:53.480 a broadcast kid. So they are definitely going to have 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.440 more saying it because they're paying for it. And so 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.680 that's also a decision we made. You and I obviously 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:01.520 paid for one hundred percent of it. We weren't going 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:09.000 to our parents in this adult phase of our lives. 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.960 Maybe we should give a couple quick takeaways. Let's do 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.240 five things were really glad we did, and maybe five 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.400 things we wish we did. Let's start with the five 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.319 things we wish we did, so that we end on 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:26.720 a hihine. 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:29.120 Okay, okay, do you have any. 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.600 I wish I'd called a florist sooner than a week 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.079 before the wedding. That was on me. I will say, 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.720 in Austin, in Napo, we did not have flowers, and 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.760 that was because we got married on this beautiful vineyard. 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.640 And in Austin, we got married in this beautiful ranch 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:47.840 like the oak trees were beautiful, but we definitely needed 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.240 something on the tables in Austin, and I was going 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.560 to be really low key and just go to chib 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.920 which we love Hi Blooms I've heard is great and 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:56.199 get some flowers from them. 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.880 I buy flowers for you often, yes, but. 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:00.840 It would have been a lot of and so I 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.679 ended up getting in touch with this incredible florist, something 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:07.040 Pretty Floral out of Dallas, Taylor Davison's that she was 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.560 amazing and she literally did the flowers in a week 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.000 and they were incredible, but she probably could have done 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.200 even more if I'd just given her more time. So 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.280 that was on me. There were moments when I was 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.280 a little too chill on the second time around. So 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.559 that's one wish I would have done. I am miss 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.320 flowers shouldn't be everything. I don't think you should spend 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:27.000 tens of thousands on flowers because they don't make the night. 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.679 But I should have factored in the aesthetics a little more. 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:34.560 I probably I would have produced the stage a little more, 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.320 set decorated more. Again, that was not having a wedding planer. Yeah, 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:42.280 just because Yeah, Napa was perfect as far as that goes, 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.560 I wouldn't change anything about NAPA. There's just nothing. There's nothing. 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.880 It was my perfect that's why it's so anniversary. Yeah. 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.760 But with Austin, we were a little bit more haphazard 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.440 about it because we had had NAPA and it was 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.199 the formality of it that we thought, let's be a 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.520 little more loosey goosey, and Austin will kind of figure 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.880 it out. Which was awesome because, like you and I 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.400 walked down the aisle together. That's something you know, a 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.360 husband and wife don't ever do at a wedding, to 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:11.640 walk together down the aisle. It was great. I recommend 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:15.200 it because we'd done it the other way. But you know, 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.800 the stage being set and the band and where we 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:20.440 were doing it and this, all those things I probably 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.960 should have looked at a little earlier than two days before, 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:25.120 which is when we did it. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.160 Yeah number three in Austin. I would have stuck to 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:32.200 our timeline a little more. We somehow wound up forty 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.240 five minutes late in Austin, and I want to thank 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.920 the Little Wedding Band. If you have any party in 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:40.360 Austin or anywhere in Texas, the Little Wedding Band brings 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.160 the party like no one else, and they stayed about 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:43.040 an hour late for us. 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:44.760 So thank you, yeah, because we I don't know how 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.160 we got off either, but that did happen. And again 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.400 kudos to a wedding planner who would have been there 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:51.320 and been like, hey. 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.360 Guys, probably should have had a day of coordinator in Austin. 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.400 My main thing. I don't know if this is four 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.040 or five or whatever, but this is number one on 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:02.240 my list. I at the end the night should have 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:06.680 had a crew, a team to take down. So we 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.000 had people from the event staff working serving drinks and 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:12.800 kind of picking up trash whatever. But at the end 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.520 of the night at my own wedding, I wanted to 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.480 just get in our car and drive home and go 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.920 to bed. Instead, we loaded up my truck. Yeah, we did, 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:28.640 full of wine and alcohol and flowers and buttercake and things, 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.800 and took props home and then we had to get 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.440 home and then unload their So I spent my wedding 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.680 night unloading boxes and things into our garage. So that's 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.520 something I would have changed. I would have liked to 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:43.960 have walked away from me that just been done. 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.840 So we should have just had a little more help. Yeah, 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:51.280 as great of producers as we are, I will say, look, 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.160 like you know, we've talked about the not having a 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.920 wedding planner thing. We should have done a day of coordinator, 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.000 and then this day of coordinator probably would have helped 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.720 us with all these logistics. I have no regrets about 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.600 not having a wedding planner, but a day of coordinator 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.520 might have helped us little more in the end. I mean, 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:07.920 we're picking it's here. Yes, we're just giving our advice. 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.120 Yeah, but that's what I after two. 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.640 Wedding, No, wait, after three weddings, given that we were 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:15.760 both married once before and then had two weddings together, 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:19.560 this is our advice and takeaway. So I would do 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.320 a day of coordinator. I would say, think about the aesthetics, 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:25.320 because the pictures go everywhere. 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:28.000 And if you're doing it, if it's not a destination wedding, 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.280 think about how much work you personally are going to 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:30.560 have to do. 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.080 Yeah, and then, like you said, the staging and the timing. 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.920 You were so good at something that I think most 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.520 people probably don't think about. But it was your TV background. 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:43.040 Chris was literally thinking where will the sun hit at 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.600 the time we get married, because he was thinking about 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:47.840 photos video. He was thinking about the sun in the 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:50.960 guest's eyes. I recommend be at your venue and do 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:54.080 a walk through before the wedding at the exact time 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:55.640 that you will be getting married, so that you can 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:56.240 think about. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.280 A lot of people show up for their rehearsal walk through. 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.480 Whatever it look if you're indoors as a matter, but 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:02.800 if you're outdoors, especially, you go at ten in the 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.160 morning and you look around, like, oly, this looks great. Well, 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:07.320 if you're getting married at magic hour. 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.040 How hot will it be? Will be in your guest's eyes, 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:10.600 that kind of thing. 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.120 So I stayed at the venue to wait to see 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:14.840 where the sun was and how we were going to 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.000 angle it, and so we we ended up pushing our 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.040 ceremony thirty minutes later. We were going to do it. 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:20.560 My gosh, that's why we were an hour late. 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:22.960 We will well, we were going to do it at 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.600 five thirty, and we did it at six because the 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:27.520 sun was perfectly behind the oak trees. 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.520 Oh there you go. There, what my timeline. 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:31.840 It's okay. Then let's end on the positive. As we 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:32.199 wrap this. 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:33.600 Up, I'm really glad we did Yeah. 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.040 Well, well again, I'll say, walk down the aisle together. 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.240 To me, that was one of the most magical things 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:41.800 to do with you because I got to hold your hand. 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.480 I was so calm and happy, and I got to 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:49.320 look into everybody's eyes. I just loved walking with you, 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:52.359 and you were the one that slowed us down. We 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:55.520 were walking, you slow down, so we slowed down and 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.560 took that moment in. That's one of my favorite things 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.680 from our wedding is walking down the aisle together. I 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:01.600 don't know why more people don't do that. 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.560 Wellnjoy it because you want the walking down the aisle moment, 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:08.439 which you kind of Napa. But in Napa you I 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:10.760 was so focused on looking at you, which I'm really 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.240 glad about. But then you know, you don't really see 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.800 your guest face, so it faces. So I'm glad we 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.000 had in Austin. And you know what, you, as a groom, 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:19.760 got to have a walking down the aisle moment. Most 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:20.520 grooms don't. 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:22.000 Ever get that. Well, you kind of do it first, 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:22.840 but it's it's. 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:27.160 Such a yeah, you're just trying to get there and yeah. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:28.760 So I love that we did that. 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:31.040 What's something else that you absolutely loved? 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:33.239 Well, I could go big or specific. I mean, I 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:35.040 am so glad that at the end of the day, 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:42.880 our priorities always were people, good food, good wine, good 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:45.200 music like that, that's really what you need for a party, 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:49.080 and our focus state on that. And one thing I 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.080 always had in the back of my mind which helped 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:55.000